A Running Journal of TNA iMPACT - 10/21/2010
by, 10-21-2010 at 10:58 PM (3215 Views)
Last week, I wrote a blog that generated some conversation -- good and bad. The basis behind my post was that I had some questions about TNA that I needed answered. Some of the readers gave me what they thought to the answers and others called me a "mark." Reason being? I said I was a WWE guy.
So, I decided to take some advice and expand my wrestling horizons. I wanted to get a first-hand look at the 2010 TNA. I thought by watching iMPACT, I might be able to solve some of my own mysteries.
In doing so, I felt that too many EWN frequenters write reviews of shows -- which, is OK. I enjoy reading others' thoughts about the week in wrestling but, I determined that keeping a running journal of what I saw on TNA iMPACT would be something fresh and different. If this goes well, expect more running journals in future. I'll include a timecode so everyone knows where I'm at. Time will be USA ET. And without further ado, onto the journal...
8:57 -- I'm emanating from the Death Star (first name I could think of for my room). I'm joined by a jar of Planter's Nuts and two Coors Lights. Don't worry, the mountains are blue.
9:00 -- Ah, my favorite: recap videos. Always dramatic and they always have the best background music. By my count, Immortal is 12 members deep, let's hope it doesn't get to nWo 1998 numbers. They had more members than Jay Cutler had interceptions in 2009 (25).
9:02 -- Our first chant of the night: "We are assholes, we are assholes." Great chant. That's up there with the Kurt Angle "You Suck" chant, when people cheered for him and still told him he sucked. The simple subtleties of professional wrestling. I love it.
9:08 -- Great to see that Eric Bischoff has left his hair gray. Two matches made for tonight already: Beer Money vs. RVD and Sabu and then an Ultimate X match between Mr. Anderson and Kazarian. I picked a good night to watch, though, not sure how Anderson is going to fare in that match. Interesting to see how they'll play that one.
9:14 -- Finally, back from commercial. D-Lo Brown! And I think Raven told RVD "go smoke another bowl." Good one. If you dis a pothead by telling him to smoke pot, you might be a pothead.
9:16 -- So... This Jersey Shore thing, I hope it doesn't last. Not a fan of that show or this storyline. Robbie E. looks like Alex Wright. Does anyone remember him? He was a german dancer that turned into an evil german and started wearing leather. Or did I just describe David Hasselhoff?
9:21 -- I thought Robbie E. already existed -- Zach Ryder. That's who I think of when he speaks. And Cookie just overemphasized "bitches" in her catchphrase, we get it, you can cuss on your show. Tazz, or is it Taz now? We'll go with Taz since I'm sure the two-Z version is copyrighted by the WWE. Taz says: "I love that line!" I didn't think New York and New Jersey people got along. Then again, I didn't think a Jacksonville Jaguar game would draw higher ratings than an ALCS game between the Yankees and the Rangers.
9:29 -- There are those Blair Witch cameras. It would really be much more enjoyable if they wouldn't A) zoom-in and zoom-out at rapid rates of speed and B) stop panning and hold the camera still. If I keep watching, a purge of Coors Light and peanuts will be all over my keyboard.
9:32 -- Bros Icing Bros, what a trend. I cannot believe I just witnessed Ric Flair get iced. The fact that Flair just chugged a Smirnoff Ice like one of his ex-wives makes me want to come back and watch next week. Easily one of the coolest things I have ever seen.
9:34 -- Katie Lea Burchill! Did she say her name was Wintle? Something like that I think. And she just disappeared. So TNA now has Jersey Shore ripoffs and the female Criss Angel. I can't wait to see TNA's version of any character from Boardwalk Empire.
9:41 -- Forty-one minutes in and only our second match. At least this one is for a title and should be a fairly decent match. I haven't seen the The Pope wrestle in TNA much, but I did like him as Elijah Burke. A.J. Styles is dressed in the universal street fight outfit: cut-off tee, jeans, wrist tape, elbow pads and of course, wrestling boots.
9:44 -- Mike Tenay just said: "Maybe that's a tribute to the 'Nature Boy.'" I have never and will never consider a blatant kick to the nuts a tribute to anything or anyone.
9:47 -- Interference. Classic. In comes Abyss to dismantle The Pope. Tenay is disgusted and quite frankly, so am I. I had high expectations for that match but they weren't reached. What kind of street fight doesn't use even one weapon? I was hoping for a trashcan lid or a steel chair. Anything! But no, nothing. That's like having rap song without having another rapper in the background yelling the release date of his album.
9:56 -- The accents of gray in Taz's goatee give it a nice touch. OK, we're an hour in to this show and there's only been two matches. And the last match sucked. I'm getting impatient. I want to see wrestling not all this behind the scenes crap. I've seen ten minutes of wrestling, 15 minutes of commercials and 31 minutes of behind the scenes garbage/promos. Time for a bathroom break.
10:06 -- Sorry for the delay. I inadvertently parlayed my bathroom break with a commercial. Jeff Jarrett is in the ring with a mic, $5 says he won't be wrestling anyone tonight.
10:08 -- Mike Tenay said of Jeff Jarrett's apology: "That's disgusting." Glad he's here.
10:11 -- A brawl! Finally, some sort of action. And Jeff Jarrett just prematurely ended it by throwing Samoa Joe over a rail and Iron Mike is now lecturing Jarrett. He says Jeff turned his back on "all of us." That was an all right segment. I would still rather see wrestling and "Nonstop Action."
10:16 -- Axe body wash is running a campaign centered around cleaning balls. I'll just leave it at that.
10:18 -- I will not post any expectations for this match because I have none right now. I'm afraid it will end in three minutes and go straight to backstage video, again.
10:20 -- I wish Sabu would put his headdress back on. Seeing him bald is weird. And Mike Tenay is accusing Taz of being "too friendly" with Hogan and Bischoff. Dissension among the TNA announcing ranks. Where's Don West?
10:24 -- Tenay is now hyping the TNA in-ring debut of Mickie James and the Ultimate X match later that night. Too bad only 36 minutes of the final hour of iMPACT last. And 12 minutes are definitely saved for commercials, leaving 24 minutes of air time. That means each match can be 12 minutes, but probably shorter with entrances and lame backstage footage.
10:26 -- If Sabu was a quarterback, he just threw an interception --Brett Favre style -- it cost them the match, but it was a chair to RVD's skull. I haven't seen a chair shot to the head in awhile... PG does suck sometimes, I won't lie.
10:34 -- Time for Mickie James' TNA debut. In comes Sarita, dressed in Buzz Lightyear colors. And I think Mickie looks better than she did when I last saw her in WWE. Maybe it's the Daisy-dukes, I do like those.
10:38 -- Earl Hebner is getting old. He kind of walks with a limp and can't get into the count position like he used to. And, that was an anti-climatic finish. The crowd didn't seem involved at all; I think the bell woke some of them up. Another run-in by Victo—er, I mean, Tara and she ambushes Mickie. Bring in Christie Hemme and we can get the band back together! WWE, circa 2005. Was Tara going for the Widow's Peak there or a titty twister? Looked like a combo move. Joe Rogan would be going nuts.
10:56 -- Sorry for the delay, a phone call prevented me from typing. I like the fact that TNA has its website printed down the side of the ladder -- easy advertisement. An inventive way trying to get the "X" by Anderson but interference by Fortune ruined one-arm Anderson's chances.
10:59 -- A weapon! Finally! Anderson provided a lead pipe to take out some of Fortune. Hardy comes down with a chair and blasts Anderson in the back of the head leaving him with a nasty cut.
11:01 -- Flair and Bischoff get into a limo together that's filled with Viagra, Cialis, and an EpiPen. Wait—what's that? It's Kurt Angle, with another pipe! It's weapons galore at the end of the show, but none in a street fight. After bashing the windows in and getting glass all over Flair and Bischoff, they demand Angle is arrested. Of course. And that's how we end the show.
Well, for my first full TNA iMPACT of 2010, it was ... all right, but has potential. They need more quality matches than they had tonight. And less of the backstage stuff -- that's my biggest gripe with the whole show. There is definitely room for improvement but it wasn't a bad show. Will I watch next week? I'm not sure, it depends on what I'll be doing. But if it's another slow Thursday, I'll probably tune in to see the Angle fallout.
Until my next running journal, I'll talk to everyone later on. Thanks for reading.