WWE: What a Miz-take.
by, 05-28-2011 at 06:10 PM (10400 Views)
I respect the hell out of John Cena the man. He obviously lives and breathes WWE. I’d go as far as to say that his life would probably be empty if for some reason he could never appear on WWE TV again. He loves being in that ring, and he truly does give 110% whenever he is performing. I want everybody to understand that I am by no means the typical Cena hater who wants to see him leave the business.
That being said, while I respect the man to no end, I absolutely loathe his character and his booking. Cena used to have a lot of edge to his character, but every single bit of it has dried up and floated off in the wind. If his current sense of humor and jokes that he uses in his promos are who he really is, then kudos to him, I guess, for being himself. That doesn’t mean that it’s enjoyable to listen to. He’s too righteous and “goody-two-shoes” for me. In a lot of ways he is similar to 1980s Hulk Hogan. It’s hard to cheer for a man who has absolutely no faults and no weaknesses. It’s the same reason that I’ve always liked Batman more than Superman. The difference is that Cena is booked to have no kryptonite. I just don’t find it realistic, and I need realism, even if I am watching a “fake” sport.
Which brings me to what we saw at Over the Limit, a show in which I believed the creative team was on LSD when they booked it. The Miz has looked pretty damn good over the past few months. They really have built him up well. He has looked like a superstar. He has looked like someone who can carry the WWE in the future. And then came his match with Cena where it all came crashing down. The Miz did absolutely EVERYTHING he could short of run Cena over or hold a family member or one of his fans at gunpoint in order to make Cena quit and every single time, Cena said no. Not only that, but it was a two-on-one assault as Miz had Alex Riley helping him throughout the whole ordeal. It was basically a complete beatdown with zero to minimal offense from Cena. Being unable to get Cena to quit through savagely beating him with no retaliation, Miz then tried to cheat in a way that made him look like a foolish idiot rather than an evil mastermind. As soon as this was discovered, Cena immediately jumped up like nothing had happened and threw Riley through a table. While Miz was still down, Cena then started smiling. SMILING! SMILING AFTER GETTING THE LIVING SHIT KICKED OUT OF HIM FOR 20 MINUTES! He took off his belt, hit Miz a few times, and put him in the STF for approximately 8 nanoseconds before Miz said “I quit! I quit!” in the voice of an 8-year-old boy. Cena then stood tall, smiling some more and in no noticeable pain, to end the show.
ARE YOU F*@KING KIDDING ME?!
WWE, you just destroyed any credibility that The Miz had. You didn’t just take away a little bit. You didn’t just make him look bad. You made him look like a totally incompetent, weak, unintelligent jackass who doesn’t belong in the main event. It really sucks because up until the ending, I actually was enjoying what The Miz was doing. The match itself has taken a lot of flak for being a never-ending beatdown, and while that may be true, I thought that Miz got a chance to shine. The fact that he very calmly and matter-of-factly told Cena what he was going to do made him come across as borderline psychotic. The announcers pointed out that he was obsessed with regaining the WWE championship and would stop at nothing to do so. This is exactly how a top heel should look in the eyes of the fans. Like a man possessed, a man who knows no boundaries and will permanently damage another person just to get that gold around his waist. Miz got to look brutal, aggressive, and like a force to be reckoned with.
But then he had to take ten seconds of offense from Cena and scream like a girl. That’s when all the buildup of Miz, over the past few months and during the match itself, came to a halt. Essentially what the WWE told us that night was that no matter what this man did, and no matter how much help he had doing it, he could never cause enough pain to this particular (super)man in order to make him say “You know what? I think I’ve had enough.” Not only that, but they also told us that all Cena has to do is throw a few belt shots at Miz, put him in a submission hold for a few seconds, and Miz would say “WAHHHHHHH!!! PLEASE NO MORE!”
I mean, would it have really been that hard to book both men to look good? Listen, I understand that Cena’s character is that he is super strong and never gives up. I get it. That’s why the little kids and the women of the WWE Universe love him. But there has to be a line between making Cena look strong with a never-say-die attitude, and making other superstars, especially superstars of the future, look like absolute dog shit. You want to make Cena look like Superman? Fine, but make Miz look even more vile and despicable in the process so that he gets even more elevated as a heel. Here’s how I would have done it…
The match goes on the same way until just before the whole tape recorder cell phone crap. Instead of the fake recording, Cena says “Just keep going… I’ll be here all night.” Miz flips out, screaming his head off, punching the mat, kicking the announcers table, asking “WHAT THE HELL DO I HAVE TO DO TO YOU?!” Alex Riley looks dumbfounded. Miz starts looking like he is having a real moral dilemma, pacing back and forth, when he takes the mic and says “I didn’t think it would come to this… but I will prove to everybody in this arena once and for all that I’m not just talk. I will back up my promise that you will say I quit.” He goes and whispers in Riley’s ear. Riley looks at Miz, still dumbfounded. His expression is a mixture of apprehension and fright. He says he can’t do it. Miz points to a fan in Cena gear. Riley shakes his head, sighs, and goes over to the fan. He pulls him over the barricade. Cena is still stuck in the barrier. Miz grabs a kendo stick and walks over to the fan. “Cena. It’s time for you to make a choice. You can say I quit and this will all be over with. But if you so much as make any attempt to come over here, if you take one solitary step in our direction, I swear on everything you believe in, I swear on all your hustle, all your loyalty, and all your respect, that I will cane this fan until he can no longer breathe. I will cane him until welts cover his body. What’s more important to you, Cena? The WWE Championship? Or the wellbeing of the fans who support you?” Even Cena can’t believe what he is hearing. He looks on in utter shock as Miz raises the cane. He struggles to get free briefly. “DON’T TEST ME, CENA!” Miz strikes the fan several times. Cena screams “I QUIT! I QUIT!”
What do you think about that? I realize there are a few holes that need to be sorted out, such as why Miz wouldn’t be arrested for assault. Perhaps the fan is in on Miz’s scheme, perhaps he chooses not to press charges out of fear, whatever. But you get the gist of it. And what would be the end result? Miz gets to look like the biggest piece of shit heel in recent history, and Cena quits in a way that makes him look more like a hero without having to make his opponent look bad. More importantly, he receives something that all effective superheroes have, a weakness. After this incident, people would actually want to see Cena be the superhero. We would actually feel sympathy for him. We would want to see Miz be destroyed. Even people who aren’t on the Cena bandwagon would have a new reason to cheer for him. And yes, Cena would get his revenge. He would win the title back and beat the holy Hell out of Miz. But in the process, Miz would look like a man that you don’t want to mess with. He would firmly cement himself as a top heel for years to come, as opposed to potentially being de-pushed like we’re seeing now. That’s exactly my point… if you’re going to have one man be a superhero, at least let the man he’s up against be an ultimate supervillain, not a squealing coward.
Unfortunately, it got worse the next night.
Heels aren’t supposed to take responsibility for their actions, so I have no problem with Miz taking his frustrations out on Alex Riley. I also have no problem with the fact that A-Ri finally got tired of being pushed around and fought back against The Miz. Where my problem lies is with the level of beatdown that we saw. A-Ri absolutely schooled Miz on Monday night. Miz looked like he had no chance of even landing a punch against Riley. Simply put, A-Ri made Miz his bitch, instead of the other way around. Now, it was effective in elevating Riley. Did you hear the “Riley, Riley!” chant going around the arena? That’s amazing, considering that the man has barely won any matches since being on the main roster. That’s just the problem though; he’s been a jobber and a lackey for so long that it made Miz look even worse when he got beat down by him. Combined with the Over the Limit debacle, this incident took away quite a bit of Miz’s buildup and credibility.
In conclusion, I have no idea what the WWE creative team is thinking right now. Maybe they’re not thinking at all. Maybe they’re on a drug cocktail that even Charlie Sheen would pass up. It just worries me that WWE invested so much time in making the Miz a believable star only to derail him completely in the course of 24 hours. Could they have him rebound from this? Sure, absolutely. They can prove me wrong, and I’d be more than happy for them to do so. As of right now, however, I’m worried. I’m also worried as to where SuperCena will go from here. I mean, is there even any reason to assume that he can lose a match anymore? Two men beat him down with weapons for 20 minutes, and he came back in 30 seconds to win the match with no problem, and with no visible pain. Why should we believe that anybody can take him down? He might as well just hold the WWE championship for the next ten years *Shudders*. I’m just at a loss right now, and that’s a damn shame.