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Wrestling News and Discussion - eWrestlingNews.com CommunityenThu, 19 Jan 2017 13:12:25 GMTvBulletin10http://forum.ewrestlingnews.com/images/misc/rss.jpgWrestling News and Forum- eWrestlingNews.com - Blogs - wil2197
Random Thoughts Free Per View Extravaganza: Hardcore Justice
Mon, 19 Aug 2013 20:26:34 GMTWell, running late with this blog. Personally I was thinking about passing a blog on this show over, but it is the Free Per View spectacle that is...Well, running late with this blog. Personally I was thinking about passing a blog on this show over, but it is the Free Per View spectacle that is Hardcore Justice. Will it be a spectacle, or just a standard Impact Wrestling episode? We’ll soon find out. In recent years anything Hardcore that I have watched has involved Asians on the internet, so this will be a new experience for me. So let’s get this started. Who would be foolish enough to write a blog on a show already four days old and a day after the competitor’s big Pay Per View?
The Free Per View Extravaganza: Hardcore Justice!
Children, behave Now Jeff, Austin, you two will have plenty of time to smash each other skulls in with a ladder later. Now go to the corner and think about what you done.
He’ll take this win shaken, not stirred Great way to start off this Free-Per-View extravaganza. It’s the 20 point BFG ladder match. Kazarian tries to go for the win early, running out the ring to grab a ladder that can be used to climb up and grab the clipboard with a white sheet of paper with the TNA logo and a big number 20 on it. But he forgot there’s three other men in the ring he still needs to fight.
Just a great match. All the classic spots are here. The two wrestlers on the ladder trying to reach the clipboard but they shake the ladder uncontrollably causing it to topple over spot. The throwing someone into the ladder in a corner spot. The flip powerbomb thing Austin Aries did on Jeff Hardy while they were on the ladder spot. The throwing the appletini in a wrestler’s face spot...
Yep, probably shouldn’t surprise anyone that Roode and Daniels come out. The intimidation factor quickly tanked with Christopher Daniels walking out with his appletini, but it would be instrumental as it would be sneaked to Kazarian while the ref isn’t looking (wait...you can be DQ’ed in this ladder match?) to be used by throwing in Jeff Hardy’s face as he’s climbing up, giving Kazarian the chance he needs for the win and the much needed 20 points.
Sabin remembers the good ol’ times of watching Bully throw someone into a flaming table full of thumbtacks. Yea...that’s one way to instill confidence in yourself tonight.
A get better soon message from Dixie and friends to Kurt This was honestly a nice thing to do. Really, it is. TNA clearly likes Angle and just want the best for him. And this is in no way whatsoever a setup for some storyline angle. They would never do anything that tasteless. This is just Dixie and Angle’s friends, who just so happen to be with the Main Event Mafia, just wishing Angle the best. They are not in any way using Angle’s situation as a setup for...the punchline is Aces and Eights.
Could be worse. Could be using a recently dead individual to help hype a wrestling match, but who would ever do anything that tasteless...regardless of whether or not they got the family’s permission it’s still pretty damn tasteless, afterall they did go to the son first if they could use his dead father in a storyline and not the other way around. No one would do anything that despicable because their minds are creatively dead...okay, I’ll stop now.
So Aces comes out, and Mr. Anderson reminds the mafia that they are one man short, shooting down the rumor that Aces can’t count. Magnus then speaks and something becomes painfully obvious...the man should never speak. He is a great wrestler, but for people that have incredible wrestling skills and speech skill that would make the dead...ummm...deader...we got a solution for them. It’s called managers. Yea, you know, those non-wrestling people that come out with wrestlers. They actually have a point. Many points actually, but one main point is to keep a man that clearly cannot speak quiet by doing most of the talking for him. Don’t you miss those people.
Mr. Anderson counts again, and realizes that they outnumber the Mafia, and attack. They take the advantage and come out on top in their latest confrontation with the Mafia.
Not the kind of Asian and Hardcore I was talking about earlier...but I’ll take it So we have a NON-TITLE (wish they would make that clear) triple threat hardcore knockouts match between Gail Kim, Mickie James, and....give me a moment to shudder...ODB.
Now, a few blogs ago I mentioned that the Knockouts are better skilled than the Divas. Someone commented that this isn’t the case, it’s just that the Knockouts are showcased better. Although I’m not sure if I agree with his...disagreeing of my point...I do admit that the Knockouts get a little more respect than the Divas on television.
And it’s a decent, entertaining match. These ladies are skilled, talented, and clearly can...oh my god! Gail Kim’s wrestling shorts are see-through!
Screw it, she’s Asian and this is Hardcore...I’ll count this as Hardcore Asian.
So ODB takes her bra out...and now I must stab my eyeballs out...and uses as a weapon. Pretty damn inhumane, but she does come out with the victory nonetheless...one boobless bra hanging out and all.
Not feeling so bad ass now Everything is ruined by Sting not being in his face paint. Content wise, they’re pissing their pants and Sting attempts to recruit Austin Aries for next weeks match in which the wrestler that gets pinned will be forced to retire. Of course the Austin Aries we all know would tell Sting to screw off...but I think the script will force him to do a 180 in his character.
Roode’s plan coming together Face it, he’s a genius. And still has a chance to claw into second in BFG himself.
Hey, Aries didn’t get the script Cause he said no. Why now what sensible person would turn down the opportunity to team up with a group of people he didn’t like to fight in a match along side them that could end his career? Stupid Aries. Rampage Jackson seems to have had enough of his limited role and heads out to the ring with Samoa Joe foll...OH NO! Tito’s gonna be in the match, isn’t he!!!
Why use Brooke in an angle if you released her? That makes the following segment with Bully...entirely pointless.
Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! So in the seventh straight non-wrestling segment (yea, would like to see a real PPV get away with that) Rampage Jackson predictably calls out Tito Ortiz to ask him to join Main Event Mafia. But Tito doesn’t get the chance to answer as Bully Ray comes out to interrupt everything. One Huntington Bitch comment later, and Tito is furious, but never gives an answer. I’m pretty sure we can all assume that Tito is in next week’s match.
And now, for me to weep.
By the grace of god almighty, we finally have another match Not just any match, but a match...with wrestlers. And Tables...ooo.
And it’s good. Very good. Any match that has another man’s balls getting rung with a bell and hammer has my stamp of approval on it. This would end up being a good night for Roode and company as he wins the table’s match with the assist from Daniels’ and his Appletini. Unfortunately we were deprived a comedic moment of watching Daniels do a girly skip step run with the Appletini, trying not to spill it. *sigh*
Can someone throw a bucket of paint on Sting’s face? And don’t forget to plug the Bellator MMA PPV.
A rift between the Prez and VP? Perhaps. But a third party is also revealed by Mr. Anderson...the Fairy Godmother!
So the Steel cage match is next. I wonder if it’ll be good.
Boring...so boring... Make it stop...please make it stop. Although to Sabin’s credit, he does show offense in the last five minutes or so of the match, the first X amount of minutes is pretty much the same old crap that we’ve seen the last two matches, except this time there’s a steel structure for Bully to toss Sabin into like a rag doll.
Also Sabin is getting the Cena treatment from the crowd...and rightfully so. Although I don’t think his personality is anywhere as annoying as Cena’s, the fact is he’s been lackluster as a World Champ. This has not been a good run for Sabin, and I have to wonder if there will be a second run for him.
The ending was good, but at the same time crap. The ending involves Mr. Anderson keeping Sabin from escaping the cage, only to have Rampage Jackson and Tito Ortiz to come and assist Sabin...or so we think! Tito nails Rampage with a hammer, Bully nail Sabin with the Bully Bomb, and unless the Mafia wants to give Angle some Jesus Juice to perk him up, they are still a man short for next week.
Great finish with Tito using the hammer...crap ending for using Tito.
The Verdict Eh...I just don’t know. You can slap the name Pay-Per-View on just about anything...but did it feel like one? Not really. We had big matches, yes, but also a lot of BS in between. Seven, seven consecutive non-wrestling segments. Name me a PPV that does that. Also, minor complaint, but where was the blood? It’s not that it’s necessary, but they made sure they emphasized it right before the parental warning, so the fact that none was spilled kinda feels like false advertising there. And I know I’m gonna get sick of the constant advertising for the November Bellator PPV. God damn it, the two shouldn’t be mixing. In the end...it could’ve been better, but mostly every match was top notch, the show itself just didn’t have a PPV feel to it. And a PPV always hinges on the main event, which was sub par at best.
Three and a half more bras left in ODB’s arsenal...out of five.
]]>wil2197http://forum.ewrestlingnews.com/entry.php?45837-Random-Thoughts-Free-Per-View-Extravaganza-Hardcore-JusticeRandom Thoughts: Impact Wrestling 8-8-13
Fri, 09 Aug 2013 04:20:05 GMTIt’s time to pick on TNA again. Now this will be the third week straight that I pick on these poor bastards. Now, it’s not because I hate them. ...It’s time to pick on TNA again. Now this will be the third week straight that I pick on these poor bastards. Now, it’s not because I hate them. Quite the contrary, I’ve been looking forward to TNA the most every week. The BFG series is clearly the best reason to tune in to their program. But...the last two weeks, the stories have sucked, they really have. The lawsuit, the August 1st mystery, it’s just been bad. And my scores may have not truly reflected what I felt about the shows. That’ll be the norm with me. You really have to pay more attention to my content rather than the scores. Within the bad jokes is the hidden truth, so the scores don’t always tell the whole story...or even tell the story correctly. So, I’ll try to grade my thoughts more accurately this time around. I personally try not to read spoilers, so while many people last week at least have an idea of how this show is gonna be tonight, I’m in the dark. So come with me as we venture into another Bischoff-approved TNA.
Main Attraction: Impact Wrestling 8-8-13
Nuts, it was good while it lasted So Taz is back. And he threw Tenay out. Well...we might as well mute the television tonight.
Poor poor Borash So Aces come out and Taz is back to reclaim his spot at the announcer’s table with Mr. Anderson joining along. Well there might be a little bit of hope if Mr. Anderson is allowed to talk. Before Taz reclaims his spot, he has some words for Jeremy.
“This is my table, you hear me? My table! WWE wouldn’t take me back, so this is my table! They wouldn’t use me for a RAW in my hometown of Brooklyn, so this is my table! They said they had no interest, that there’s no one in TNA that they need, especially a wrestler turned half-ass announcer like me, so this is my table! You here, my table! Because they just wouldn’t take me so..this is...my...table...”
*proceeds to collapse, crying, yelling “WHY!!!!!”*
Bully should learn to read So Bully mentions how he wasn’t impressed with the August 1st Mystery (gee, no kidding) and says nobody does surprises better than him. Nobody in TNA does surprises well...period. He then calls out Sabin so they can sign the contract. Sabin comes out and Bully mentions he hates how the title looks on him. Personally, I like the wearing the title like a sash look. Brooke then comes out and mentions her father isn’t here tonight (another episode without Hogan? Things are on an upswing) and also mentions a little something that he overlooked in his rematch clause.
Turns out if Bully loses his rematch, he can never get another World Title match again...ever...for the rest of his life. Men in black will follow him from promotion to promotion ensuring he doesn’t ask for another title. His phone lines will be monitored to make sure he doesn’t call a promoter at three in the morning asking for a title match. If he comes within 15 yards of a championship, gps monitoring systems will alert a special government task force whose job is to make sure that a wrestler honors his “No World Title for Life” clause. Some people may call it wasteful spending, but it still makes more sense than Obamacare.
...I’d be scared of being flamed after doing that joke, but I know liberals don’t watch wrestling.
Perhaps Bully should have looked past the clause where he gets a lifetime supply of Twinkies if he gets the rematch. Bully is refusing to sign the contract...but one sexual insult from Brooke later and we have ourselves a main event for the Free Per View spectacular, Hardcore Justice.
I love Bound for Glory Nine out of ten times you’ll get great matches. Samoa Joe and Jeff Hardy is one of those Nine times. Joe tried to net himself 10 points, but surprisingly Jeff Hardy picks up the pinfall victory.
Trouble in Paradise Daniels thinks Kazarian...or Frankie (awww)...is being selfish. I wonder who’ll have to buy the flowers.
That was...Roode. Get it? Cause it’s a play on the word Rude. It’s funny, HA! So Mr. Anderson’s match is next, and luckily he doesn’t have far to walk considering he’s at the announcer’s table. And I’ve gotta say, Magnus is the future. TNA better not botch him. Mr. Anderson puts up a valiant effort, but it would take Roode running in with a steel chair, hitting Anderson and taking 10 points away from Magnus. Quite clever.
Roode calls himself a genius And that he is. I look forward to more of his antics.
Magnus tells the ref he doesn’t hold it against him Awwwww...
Ummm...are Bromans...are they planning for their gay wedding? They just told a hot chick to get out of their dressing room, so what do you think?
August 1st Recap Ah crap...we’re about to go downhill, aren’t we.
Sabin tells Main Event Mafia he has a planning Uh oh...goody two shoes has been scheming.
What the hell was the point Jeremy calls Tito Ortiz a Bellator Superstar. Be nice of him to fight a match first before giving him that honorary title. So Tito is asked why is he here, but I hope you don’t care, cause he’ll never answer. Angle comes out, warning Tito to respect his space. And Tito does the worst delivery of the line “Loud and clear” that I have ever heard...in my entire life. Bully then comes out telling Tito to keep his “stupid face” out of his way. Bully leaves. Angle leaves. Jeremy forgets he was doing an interview. Pointless. There’s seven minutes we’ll never see again people.
The Tag Team Champs graces us with their presence They’re teamed with ODB against...ugh...the Bromans and...*boing*...Mickie James. During the match TNA 10 Reunion PPV event is advertised. Yea, good luck finding that on your local Cable and Satellite provider. You’ll probably find CBS a lot easier. ODB and company picks up the win in a decent match, but she’s then attacked by Gail Kim. Gunner and Storm don’t really do a good job protecting their tag team partner, who’s then hit from behind by Mickie James.
...ummm...Bro’s before Ho’s?
Okay...now show us your storyline for the tag team champs...you don’t have one, do you.
Kazarian still upset Chris said “Poor Frankie” ...we may need a box of chocolates for this.
They won that many tag team titles!? Impressive. Bully is looking forward to beating respect into Sabin while Devon is looking to send the Mafia a message that someone is going home next week. I guess Devon is gonna tell them that he’s gonna lose next week.
(Insert Cat Fighting Noises Here) This is a quickie. Nothing too special till the ending when Daniels and Kazarian both elect to be double counted out together.
Awww...it’s like a cheesy ending to a romantic comedy :-)
Then Bobby Roode comes out (WTF) to announce while everyone has been paying attention to other useless crap, himself and Bad Influence have been ignored, and form an alliance together.
...I think that kinda contradicts the “Do things for himself” character he’s presented to us for the past two weeks. Meh, we’ll see where it goes.
Tito told there’s a lot of questions for him Just promises to hit people next week.
A “Meh” World Champ So Sabin’s master plan for the main event? Bring Sting out as his partner. But...I think Angle was hitting the sauce before the match, cause he’s suddenly out there beating up on Bully and Devon, and now Angle is his partner.
...oh there isn’t gonna be a strong enough flame proof suit for that.
And look, I’m just not sold on Sabin being World Champ. They make him wimp out every time he’s in the ring. Look, he can’t just do good against people his own size...please, give him a chance to fight. He does get a second wind in the end, predictably, and picks up the pinfall victory on Bully. But...I just wish he would’ve had a more well-rounded performance like Angle. I hope the main event next week shows a more even showing before Sabin drops the title, otherwise this first title reign of his will be easily forgotten.
The Verdict Well, we knew any August 1st follow-up would suck, but this wasn’t a bad show. There’s a couple of things I wish they would’ve done differently, but overall I liked it. The wrestling was good, anything with Roode was my favorite part of the show, and Daniels and Kazarian are living happily ever after. What more can you ask for?
Four Angle DW....uhhhh, Four out of five.
]]>wil2197http://forum.ewrestlingnews.com/entry.php?45800-Random-Thoughts-Impact-Wrestling-8-8-13Random Thoughts: An Arduous Raw 8-5-13
Wed, 07 Aug 2013 16:38:19 GMTWell, after two straight TNA blogs it’s time to pick on RAW, which tends to get a bit exhausting. Usually I do these blogs one of three ways:
1)...Well, after two straight TNA blogs it’s time to pick on RAW, which tends to get a bit exhausting. Usually I do these blogs one of three ways:
1) Take notes on all segments shown and organize them in a blog later. 2) During commercial breaks, write on the segment that I just saw. When you see my blogs timestamped an hour after the show ends, this is usually what I’ve done. or 3) Watch the show and recount from memory later, using results as a guide for segments that took place, so my blog is not a jumbled mess, since my memory can be that of a fly that just saw his buddy squashed by a fly swatter and seconds later thinks the best spot to land on is right on top of his squished carcass.
But when it comes to RAW, I find that none of these methods are really the best way to tackle RAW, because RAW is just an incredibly long show. Hell, it’s technically longer than Pay Per Views, who requires that their shows end within the three hour block given to them. But nooooo, not USA Network, who almost continuously allows Raw to run five, ten, and on those especially rare occasions almost fifteen minutes over the scheduled end time.
And being as I set my blog format up to comment on every single segment and match that goes on, with little quips here and there, and am unwilling to alter that format for RAW, I find myself passing it over, despite there being a lot I would like to comment and make fun of.
Although work can also be factor, this week I have five days off, so no excuses. Time for this week’s main attraction. Please no phone calls during the reading of this blog...I demand it!
MAIN ATTRACTION: RAW 8-5-13
I guess they found a barber’s chair Was it worth it WWE? Was it worth it? Stephanie McMahon brings out the new look Daniel Bryan. Steph goes “Yes! Yes!” The crowd goes “No! No!” Vince comes out and goes “...meh...” and demands that his beard be shaved. And out comes that barber’s chair that we all heard they were searching for. Boy, I would’ve jacked the rent on them. And for some reason Wade Barrett comes out to shave the beard because his father, or great grandfather, I don’t remember, was a barber, so that somehow makes him qualified.
I don’t know. I think a golden opportunity was missed to call in Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake for a cameo. Is he even still alive? Sure I can just look that up right now and edit this whole thing, but I’ll let you tell me in the comments.
Bryan has second thoughts, shaves some of Barrett’s beard, and reveals what will soon be the newest edition to the WWE shop, a shirt that says “The Beard Is Here.” Hmm....useful for me on days I don’t feel like shaving for work.
Oh, and Daniel Bryan uses one of the seven words banned for life from WWE: Wrestler.
Not back from Suspension for long So Ricardo Rodriguez comes out in Alberto’s match with RVD...you know, to make up for screwing the fans a good match a couple of weeks ago. Yea, I know Alberto’s ribs was broken, but couldn’t they had matched RVD up with someone else?
Well the match was standard, but the real action happens after the match. Ricardo’s plan to help Alberto with a bucket backfires, costing him the match instead. And despite pleas for forgiveness, Alberto proceeds to kick Ricardo in the head, smash the bucket on his head, and place his head between the steel stairs and ring post, kicking the stairs and smashing Ricardo’s skull like a grape.
...You know what, I think Alberto may have been mad about the loss. But on the plus side, severing ties with Ricardo gets rid of any more reasons to ever turn him Face again, thank god. That’s well worth Ricardo not able to retain more than ten seconds of memory for the rest of his life.
Is the briefcase worth a thing if the contract is ruined? Serious question here. Loving the feud, but if the contract is ruined, there’s nothing to cash in...right? We are treading uncharted territory here.
This is what Ryback calls smart? So it’s the big Wrestlemania 29 rematch...four months later. Who the hell cares if Ryback and Mark Henry fought at Wrestlemania at this point. By now the DVD has been out long enough for people to press the skip button on the match. It’s nothing special. Ryback rolls out of the ring, pointing to his head signifying how smart he is as the ref counts to ten, giving Ryback the loss.
Oh, and Shield? Shield? Shield? We’re giving that build up a break? Okay.
I don’t care about the damn Divas show And unless someone’s dress slips off again, I don’t care about this segment either.
Is he hiding a weapon in that elbow So John Cena comes out and OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT!? I’m pretty sure I wasn’t the only one thinking that when he showed off his elbow. I thought the alien was suppose to come out of the stomach. Is that elbow even legal...in fake wrestling? Cena also goes on to scoff on the idea of wrestling anywhere else, single handedly taking a dump on every independent wrestler...in the world...and Arena Football League fans. My god, he unifies the hatred of fans from all spectrums of the world.
Randy Orton then comes out to remind Cena that he can cash in at any time.
...is he going to do this every week?
Then the Shield, who’s circle jerk lasted ten minutes longer than expected, comes out to the ring. Realizing it’s not Mark Henry in the ring, they figure ‘screw it’ and just roll with it. D-Bry comes out to even the odds and that mutant Brad Maddox comes out to make a six man tag main event.
...Mark Henry would’ve been a smart decision to have come out instead, but this what happens when you write a script on Tuesday, don’t submit to the boss till monday at 7pm, and have to write changes...things get overlooked.
Ahhh! No silly dancing! Don’t you know when you dance like an idiot, white rednecks come out to beat you senseless?
And that they did...in a match. Yea, Luke and Erik make their WWE in ring debut in what was essentially a squash. The real action comes after the match while Bray is on the mic. Kane appears on the titantron to basically tell Bray that while Bray hurts people to get a message across, Kane does it for the hell of it. What a wonderful job wrestling is.
Oh, and their match at Summerslam...an inferno match!!!
Did I crap my pants in excitement? Yes! Am I looking forward to this match? You’re damn right! Will their be kids setting themselves on fire the following day, imitating what they saw on PPV? You betcha! But the possibility of a few charred kids will not get in the way of my entertainment damn it!
Quick Hype for Punk/Lesnar And guarantees that Curtis’ blind loyalty to Heyman will get him beat tonight.
Awww....crazy made a friend And Layla also admits in a pre-recorded statement during the Layla/Kaitlyn match why she backstabbed Kaitlyn. You know, those things they use to do in the early 90’s showing a wrestler promo during a match, but became stupid during the Attitude era, but now isn’t stupid again. I never liked it..
Oh, why did Layla do what she did? Because...she’s a bitch. Seriously, that’s basically it. Layla picks up the win with the help of AJ, and they go skipping off into the sunset.
Did Christian have anything important coming up? Meh, put him in a match with Heath Slater in the meantime. With the time given to them it was a pretty decent match.
I just wish they would give Christian something to do...like go for a title like the United States Championship...or even the World Heavyweight Championship. I bet if he was number one contender they would do something meaningful with him tonight.
Nap Time And...that’s it. I knocked out. I couldn’t do it...I just couldn’t. It hasn’t been the best show so far and it was exhausting up to this point, I just could only make it to just over two of the allotted three hours plus. And so far, let’s be honest...what has happened so far? I don’t think very much. Why was Christian thrown away? Why was Mark Henry thrown away? Why were their opponents involved in separate storylines at this point? Is Ryback doing anything for Summerslam? Is Wade Barrett not going to attempt to get revenge for having his beard shaved off? Can you do some meaningful build for the IC title other than just have Axel help for the Punk/Lesnar build up? Can Randy Orton do anything else other than come out reminding Cena that he has the briefcase. What’s Ziggler doing!? Of course you assume he’s going to face Big E at Summerslam, but why the hell are they giving the match away tonight? People, we are two weeks away from one of the main pay per views of the year. Of all the pay per views, there are five I believe you do not half ass: Wrestlemania, Money in the Bank, Summerslam, Survivor Series, and Royal Rumble. Supposedly this script was rewritten up the ass amount of times, and it shows. And I’ve always found the champion and challenger kinda respecting each other story direction to be boring. The only thing still keeping me excited for the main event is Daniel Bryan. Their building tension between D-Bry and Vince McMahon better than D-Bry vs Cena, which makes me think D-Bry is getting screwed at Summerslam. I don’t know...it all feels like patch work to me.
An hour left in the show still and this is how I’m feeling right now. This should be the time I end this blog, assign it a grade and save myself what feels like torture. BUT...in this digital age, television programs are available almost as instantly as they end and I have of course found the rest of the third hour to watch so I can give a fair assessment of the show. As much as I don’t want to...let us proceed.
Third Hour does start with something awesome This match was Marks approved. CM Punk charges up the ramp wanting to get a piece of Heyman, but there’s the little issue of his match with Curtis Axel first. Axel takes control of the match during the commercial break (no, I’m still not downloading the damn app) and Heyman thinks it’s safe to come back out.
Towards the end while Heyman is checking on Axel, CM Punk attacks Heyman causing the ref to stop the match...for no reason whatsoever. But Brock comes out and we get a much deserved preview for Summerslam. Wish the match at Summerslam would be no holds barred. Meh, I’m sure the ref will conveniently forget about the rules then. Punks hatred for Heyman gets the better of him and Brock lays him out with a chair and F5, leaving Punk’s chin a bloody mess. Why is someone always bleeding when Brock is involved?
Main Event Next Week: Punk vs Heyman So the dastardly trio of Heyman, Brock, and Axel are interviewed, and Brock makes it clear he is not impressed with the best of the best of the best of the best of the best of the oh I’m just getting annoying now. Then Heyman announced next week he’ll walk to the ring looking for a man to man fight with CM Punk.
I’m sure a lot of ECW wrestlers that weren’t paid towards the end and yet RVD got a check to appear at the final pay per view would like to be ahead of Punk right now for that man to man fight. Them...and Jim Cornette...but he’s just freakin crazy.
Return to mediocrity Kofi is back...and I like him. First, he beat on Fandango which is a plus for me. But in the end he’s not gonna get the push he deserves. Why? Because, and I’m about to upset the IWC here, it’s not all about skill. Unfortunately his character still needs a makeover. But it was good to see him in action.
HHH to save the day Steph comes to HHH crying because the makeover segment with Daniel Bryan didn’t go over so well, causing Vince to yell at her. Either that or he just found out how much he paid for the chair, causing Vince to yell at her. HHH then goes on to say how the old man has lost his mind and that Vince wouldn’t dare scrap Summerslam because he doesn’t want to see Cena as champ anymore. HHH then boldly announces that he’s going to put a stop to his daddy-in-law ways once and for all.
..Question. Why does Vince suddenly hate Cena as champ? It just seems to come up so suddenly. Yea, Cena struts around like he owns the place...ummm...okay...It just seems very sudden. Of course if you really need to find a reason you can go all the way back to the MITB events of 2011, but I doubt the creative team thought that hard about it. They got about as much attention span as a fly that just saw his buddy squashed by a fly swatter and seconds later...wait, I already used that joke.
Together they make the league of talent left out of Summerslam So The Real Americans come out, and Zeb does his thing on the mic, insulting the Greenbay Packers. Now, insulting the Greenbay Packers...in Greenbay no less...is the equivalent of building a time machine, going back to the last supper, pissing in the wine Jesus is giving to his disciples, pouring it on Jesus’ head, taking a picture, going back to the present, sneaking into the Vatican, going to the Pope’s room, kicking him in the balls, leaving back to your time machine, going back to the moment when you’re in the Pope’s room, watching it while eating popcorn and throwing the popcorn at him when it’s all done. That’s either the equivalent or slightly worst than the above scenario.
You know, a thought just occurred to me. Why aren’t these two teams fighting each other in a number one contender’s match at Summerslam. Or these two and the Prime Time Players. Don’t have this talent sitting with their thumbs up their ass. Just drop a Miz TV segment that should never be at PPV to begin with and make the damn match. Wish The Usos would’ve come up with the victory, but great all around performance from everyone.
Ugh....women So we get another meeting between Big E Langston and Dolph Ziggler on cable TV. What the hell!? We shouldn’t be seeing them fight on Raw. This should be a PPV match we should be streaming for fre....errr...I mean paying for! Just great talent from these two. I feel like these two should be in a WHC match at Summerslam, but since they botched Ziggler, and Big E is attached to him like a magnet, they’re both essentially left out in the cold.
Great match until Kaitlyn comes out and the Kaitlyn/AJ feud spills into the ring. God damn it! Big E takes advantage of Dolph trying to break them up (why should he even care if they’re fighting to begin with) and picks up the victory. Oh god...this is going to lead to a stupid mixed tag match at Summerslam, isn’t it.
Do you think The Shield remembers how to wrestle in singles matches I mean this is all we have them do nowadays. Understandably they do work well as a unit, but why can’t they work in singles matches and have the other two interfere? Why can’t they defend their titles on at least one Raw or Smackdown since their titles won’t be defended at Summerslam? Why do we need them to fight again for a bazillionth time in a six-man tag match?
Whatever. The match is good, but ends in a DQ for The Shield when they break up Daniel Bryan’s NO lock. Why would a save cause a DQ? Well, it’s probably because of the rule that has never been mentioned on TV that a team is only allowed one save a match. A second one, and you’re disqualified. But this is NEVER explained in these tag matches. I found out by watching the short clip of a Davey Boy Smith Jr. shoot interview. So while wrestling fans in the know realize what has just happened, the casual viewer has to go “duuhhhhhh” because there is no explanation as to what happened.
But the casual viewer won’t give a damn after Orton gives Daniel Bryan and John Cena an RKO. Then we’re teased with the possibility of Orton cashing in, making a much better main event for Summerslam in my opinion, but the Shield comes back in to stand in Orton’s way because...ummm...they came late to attack Mark Henry, so screw it. Go with the flow. So, I guess people are calling this an Orton heel turn...but I just don’t know. Orton has done prickish things as a Face plenty of times, so why is this time a Heel turn? Because he attacked Cena...which is the equivalent of building a time machine...I used that joke too, didn’t I.
The Verdict I’m not going to say the show was entirely bad, but they did make botches. They completely ignored two Summerslam matches. Why? Everyone that needed to be here was here, even Big Show. Ugh...just seems to be a lot of wasted opportunities tonight. I know when everything is hectic and the boss needs rewrites, certain details may be forgotten. But considering they’re getting paid to catch the details, unfortunately it’s no excuse. Also, three hours a weekly basis is just a damn chore.
Three forgotten storylines...out of five.
UPDATE: Just found out there's gonna be a mixed tag match. DAMN IT!
2.5 out of 5 now.
]]>wil2197http://forum.ewrestlingnews.com/entry.php?45794-Random-Thoughts-An-Arduous-Raw-8-5-13Random Thoughts: August 1st Mystery Revealed...sadly.
Fri, 02 Aug 2013 03:41:35 GMTSo this is it. August 1st has arrived. The big August 1st mystery shall be revealed tonight. MY problem with it...I really don’t care. I expect...So this is it. August 1st has arrived. The big August 1st mystery shall be revealed tonight. MY problem with it...I really don’t care. I expect to be disappointed by this surprise. I haven’t been following the hype. I’m more so interested in Sabin/Bully build up which I’m sure will take a backseat to this crap tonight. But hey, maybe TNA will completely wow me tonight.
You see, already I’m getting overconfident.
Taz a victim of TNA budget cuts Na na na na...Na na na na...heyyyyyy...you always sucked.
More August 1st Hype This surprise better not suck...and we better not have to wait an hour and fifty-five minutes for the freakin surprise!
Phenomenal One divides by the Denominator of Greatness = Awesome!!! Aries comes out to a huge pop, to hype his match against AJ Styles tonight. Now that’s what I’m excited about. He congratulates Sabin, and warns him to watch out (no one can ever congratulate a champion without getting their own two cents in). Roode comes out to cry about his crappy year that started at last year’s Destination X, and promises to start being Rude again...I mean Roode. I don’t know, maybe he’ll start undertipping again. And we have no time to waste, as his opponent is on the way to the ring
Hernandez vs Rood...ouch Damn, cheap shot by Roode. That was rude of him...hey, I get it now! For the most part, Roode is dominating Hernandez. But Hernandez just won’t stay down, which causes Roode to snap and start throwing chairs into the ring. And I personally think the referee is taking it pretty close letting these chairs fly about an inch away from him. As the ref starts clearing the chairs out, Roode hit Hernandez with a beer bottle (would’ve been funny if it was a Corona bottle) and pins for the three count. Afterwards, the always observant ref looks around like a moron, questioning Roode about the glass, but still raises his hand for the victory.
Angle promises to make an offer Ace’s can’t refuse But...what was that offer Ace’s made to Angle that he couldn’t refuse? That was never addressed. I’m especially curious about since...he obviously accepted the freakin offer!!! Any clarification? Closure? Anything!?
ODB Bouncing to get ready for her match Just...disturbing.
Joseph Park has a match too His...mere existence is just disturbing. And supposedly the Brawny man has a solution for him.
Meeting of Champs Sabin congratulates Manik...who talks without his mask. That just ruins it for me. Sabin acts like a tough guy when telling Manik to bring his best to the ring tonight. Sabin, don’t act like a tough guy. Just doesn’t work for ya.
White Hummer Limo arrives Again, we better not be waiting till 10:55, I swear to god.
Battle of the Gutter Trash: Bradley vs Park So this brilliant idea for Park is revealed. Protective Headgear!
...is that even legal...in fake wrestling?
It seems to do very little to help Park though, as he has his ass handed to him most of the match. But the fans get behind him. Why they get behind this four eyes prick is beyond me. But uh-oh...Park loses his headgear!!! And it does absolutely nothing to help Bradley as Park picks up the win moments later. Umm, what was the point of him losing the headgear?
Someone get Sting his prozac Or...at least get him high. When he’s overly excited without his face paint he’s scary...for some reason. Oh, and apparently they’re going to make some sort of sacrifice. Hopefully it’s Rampage Jackson. I mean...why is he here!?
Champion vs Champion This was one hell of a match. Entertaining as hell. Fluid, high flying, just freakin fun...but then...
What a Bully! Bully Ray comes in to rain down on Sabin’s parade. But Sabin displays more offensive effort in ten seconds than he did in his entire match match against Bully, forcing Bully to retreat.
Oh God, Taz is still here And reveals to us that...August 1 warning does indeed suck. Gold star for you, Taz.
Uh Oh, Daniels and Kazarian have to face each other next week Ooo, I smell metrosexual cat fight!
Oh God...get some clothes on ODB! But to her and Gail Kim’s credit, it was a good match. Ended in a double count out, so these two will be meeting down the road again.
Uh Oh, AJ Styles is Emo’ing it up Must mean it’s game time.
Mr. August 1st still taunting very cryptically I wonder, wouldn’t it have sucked if his parents had named him February 29th instead?
Yea, screw you all.
Uh oh...Wifey has Bully by the Ballys ...That’s it. I just wanted to type that.
This match should’ve blown the BFG time limit rule But who cares. Excellent match. Only thing is the ending. Don’t know, wasn’t crazy about the arm barely draped on AJ pin, but whatever. That’s a minor complaint.
They really did it. They kept us waiting till 10 f’n 55! Actually, they kept us waiting till 11:00 pm. 11 f’n pm. Whatever. First, the Main Event Mafia makes the offer that Aces and Eights couldn’t refuse. A five on five match in which whoever gets pinned has to leave TNA.
So this is how Devon plans to end his career.
Aces and Main Event get into a fight. Mr. Anderson accepts. And then...and finally then...we get the man who is Mr. August 1st. And that man...is Tito Ortiz.
Screw it...I’m grumpy cat-ing this bitch
The Verdict Again, we cannot find a balance between good matches and good storylines. The storylines just seemingly has to suck. The retirement match surprise seems underwhelming considering there’s three wrestlers in that match that should retire. And then Tito Ortiz...Tito Ortiz!? The crowd was dead, I mean dead when this man showed up. I think most of them was trying to remember just who he was. Hell, if it wasn’t for the dirt sheets kinda spoiling the surprise, I would’ve been trying to remember who he was. Sorry, but Tito’s time has passed. It’s not like when Ken Shamrock came straight in from UFC to the WWF. He was fresh in our minds. UFC (in its original iteration) was pretty popular. Everyone knew who he was and was excited about him. Tito Ortiz...who hung it up years ago and has really done nothing significant since? Again, TNA just built up on hype that it couldn’t deliver.
Three wrestlers that should retire...out of five, and that's only because of the wrestling. I’ll be harsh next week if TNA does something stupid again, even if every match is five star. Look, you don’t need to to try and shock us or create half ass drama. Just give us a good solid storyline that makes sense, coupled with the quality matches you have been giving us, and wrestling fans will be happy.
]]>wil2197http://forum.ewrestlingnews.com/entry.php?45779-Random-Thoughts-August-1st-Mystery-Revealed-sadlyRandom Thoughts: Impact Wrestling 7-25-13
Fri, 26 Jul 2013 18:25:03 GMTWell it’s been a while. Sorry, between work and internet porn, I’ve had distractions. But that doesn’t mean that I’ve kept out of the loop. ...Well it’s been a while. Sorry, between work and internet porn, I’ve had distractions. But that doesn’t mean that I’ve kept out of the loop. Actually I’ve been very interested in TNA, who I believe has been on a streak of putting on some pretty damn good quality shows as of late. A shame that TNA will probably be brought down in a year by terrible upper management, but that’s a story for another day. Their Destination X free per view (get it, cause it use to be pay per view but they showed it free this year. Ha!) was pretty damn good...except...for the main event. I know everyone wants to say “ALL HAIL SABIN,” but I’m more “meh.”
Not to say he’s not a good wrestler, and the way the match played out probably wasn’t his fault. I mean who’s idea was it to make Sabin look so impotent, so weak. In the entire match it was 99 percent Bully, and 1 percent Sabin. It was terrible. I know Bully is a big and imposing heel, and I have to admit I’m surprised as to how much I like Bully, but Sabin can still put up a fight. They would not allow Sabin to put up a fight. Unfortunately, Sabin’s first title reign is not built on a strong foundation. I don’t see him lasting more than two months.
So now join me, as I struggle through Windows 8...god I hate this OS...and we get ready to take a look at the latest edition of Impact Wrestling.
Main Attraction: Impact Wrestling 7-25-13
Ready...set...SUE! Okay, wait wait wait. They have to start the segment over. Sting came without his face paint...again. Now I know Sting has come out to the ring without his face paint before, and it’s been a terrible idea...every...single...time. And why isn’t Samoa Joe in a suit like the others? And Rampage Jackson...why is he even here?
Eh, whatever. Main Event Mafia says it’s 1-0 them against Aces and Eights...even though Sabin isn’t part of the mafia. I would say they get just a half point for the assist. After Angle lies by saying Sabin had the best match in his career, the new champ crowned ten minutes ago...errr...I mean last week, is introduced to a good reaction from the crowd. And I honestly do like Sabin. I really do. He has no gimmick, no schtick, he is just himself. And guess what, it works for him.
After Sabin challenges the upcoming X Division Champ to a match next week, the bad ass biker gang leader Bully Ray comes out...with his Lawyer. No I don’t know which one, Jacobi or Myer. Bully then issues a demand for Sabin to hand him the World Title, or else he will sue TN...A...
So, the leader of the bad ass biker gang, Aces and Eights, that has caused destruction and chaos over the past year, is threatening to sue if he doesn’t get his World Title back.
Well, no one said TNA still didn’t come up with a bad idea every now and then.
Wait, we’re suppose to take this seriously? Apparently, as Hogan is on the phone scrambling for a solution, refusing to comment on “pending litigation.” Sheesh. :-\
God damn, that X Division belt looks awesome It really does. Also, the X Division matches are by far my favorite matches in wrestling. Always exciting, intense, edge of your seat fun. But, I feel this match may have been too short. Still, it was fun, especially the last couple of minutes.
Bully revels in the success of his mastermind plan He can tell he has Hogan scared over...ugh...the threat of a lawsuit. Why would something like this actually be taken seriously? Because the script tells you to shut up and take it seriously, that’s why. We also get a pep speech from Bully to Anderson for his upcoming BFG match.
Air Mexico crashes and burns... ...and earns Mr. Anderson 7 points
Again...be scared of all mighty fearful lawsuit Be scared dammit. Even Dixie knows this may be the end. I think this is how Flair won his Fourth Title.
Joseph Park’s identity crisis I just consider it a crisis that Joseph Park is in TNA. And if he’s trying to figure out this legal crisis, I’d say we’re watching the very last episode of Impact Wrestling.
Velvet Sky with a.... Hold on...*rewinds*
Velvet Sky with... Wait up... *rewinds*
Velvet...uhhh... Okay, if anyone knows how to get those couple of seconds of her shaking her ass as she walks in turned into a screensaver, PM me. So...what the hell was I going to say?
Knockouts are fun They really are. And hell of a lot more talented than the Divas. But, does ODB need to grab her breasts every few seconds. It’s called a bra. Gail gets into ODB’s face, causing her the match and setting up for a new feud it looks like.
And Velvet Sky’s purpose at ringside? To give me a new screensaver.
Uh Oh...Hogan and Dixie may surrender? Could this be the end of Chris Sabin’s title reign that has lasted all of two hour....err....I mean one week? It could be since no one competent actually runs TNA.
Christopher Daniels earns BFG points With the help of Mr. Anderson, over Samoa Joe. Next week,Samoa Joe brings a lawyer to sue for those seven points.
Sting and Angle wor... Wait wait wait. Start it over. Sting didn’t put his face paint on yet.
Phenomenal Match? Nah But it was still a good one. AJ gets a submission victory for the ten points, and blows off Jeff Hardy on a handshake. Geez, what a sore...winner.
Hogan says he has to do what has to be done And he has to do it fast. TNA forgot to renegotiate his contract that expires in...three minutes.
A special kind of justice announced Bully comes out demanding the title. Sabin comes out to tell Bully to screw off. Enter Hogan who comes out and rips a contract up, then announces that Bully’s contract does give him a rematch. Wait a minute? So that wasn’t Bully’s contract he just ripped up? What was that, the lawsuit? Or was I not joking about the three minute thing and Hogan just ripped his expired contract.
Whatever. It’s announced that Sabin and Bully will face each other at next month’s Free Per View event, Hardcore Justice, in a steel cage.
Conclusion Good announcement to hype Hardcore Justice. And overall good quality of matches tonight. But...the story was bull. It was bad, uneventful, and the conclusion to this lawsuit saga didn’t even seem to have a proper conclusion, with Hogan just saying Bully will get a rematch. Well, if that’s what he wanted all along, wouldn’t he had just said “I demand a rematch or I’ll sue” from the start? He didn’t say that. He said “I want the title or I’ll sue.” Well, what would stop Bully from suing anyway? I expected Hogan to come out saying Bully’s contract bars him from legal action, but instead he essentially said, “No, sue my ass, brother!” I wouldn’t be too hard, but the stupidity of this story kinda hurt it a bit tonight. Plus, I thought that X Division match was a bit on the short side too.
Nah, on second thought I won't be that hard. We did get quite a bit of wrestling in those two hours. Four more lawsuits for Hogan to deal with out of five.
But that's the only time I won't be that hard on TNA.
]]>wil2197http://forum.ewrestlingnews.com/entry.php?45764-Random-Thoughts-Impact-Wrestling-7-25-13Random Throughts: A Raw Scolding and Another Raw Review
Wed, 15 May 2013 18:58:00 GMTOh boy...am I waving the naughty finger. An overall very unspectacular RAW to talk about, but first thing first...and oh boy, am I pissed.*
...Oh boy...am I waving the naughty finger. An overall very unspectacular RAW to talk about, but first thing first...and oh boy, am I pissed.
The Double Standard
So, last week on an episode of Impact Wrestling, Christy Hemme did the ultimate evil. She made a mistake while announcing. As discipline, Austin Aries got up on the turnbuckle, sticking his crotch just inches from her face, showing her that mistakes shall not be tolerated and that she better start behaving like a good little girl, right?
WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!! What Austin Aries did was crapt, and he should be disciplined for it...because IT WAS SEXUAL HARASSMENT. And in a culture properly educated about how to interact with the opposite sex, you would think that the comments would be a bit more on the reasonable side. Here are a couple that have more vote up’s, than vote down’s.
“Fire Hemme... She is a waste of money” 8Ups...1Down
“Who is she to get special treatment, any redhead could take her job lol, shut up and accept your paycheck. Her only chance for success outside of TNA would be porn anyway, might as well prepare for it.” 8ups...5Downs
Now, don’t get me wrong...there are people out there that are in touch with reality, but it seems to be that public opinion is on Austin Aries side because, well hey, he’s a good wrestler.
Well, I’m going to put it bluntly...if you don’t want Austin Aries to be disciplined because it might cause him a big push in the long run...you’re stupid. End of story. Well..maybe I should go more into it.
Now, any incident when a member of the opposite sex does something to another in a manner such as shoving genitalia into another’s face cannot be easily dismissed. Now, I think we wrestling fans are so easily dismissing it because quite frankly, wrestling has portrayed these ladies as nothing more than overly glorified borderline porn stars. It’s true, they’ve overly sexualized women for well over 15 years at least. So, when a legit incident comes up where a female is, in correct definition might I add, sexually harassed...well, we have a hard time in reacting properly to the incident. And it doesn’t make wrestling fans look good, but rather makes the people who quite frankly goes nuts over fake competition as out of touch with reality.
And here’s the reality. A double standard does exist. Sexual Harassment is still an issue that women can face repercussion for if they simply report it. Christy Hemme is facing that repercussion right now from the negative sentiment of wrestling fans. This is such a major issue in the Military, that the Air Force officer that was in charge of investigating Sexual Harassment cases was himself charged with Sexual Harassment. That’s pretty bad. We’re in the 21st century and some women still make the tough, and wrong choice, of keeping quiet about it because quite frankly it may not be worth it to them to psychologically deal with the backlash of the accusations. Look at what a lot of you people are doing. This is not a “no big deal” issue. This is a huge deal. So huge that companies, businesses, and institutions both public and private, will spend countless of dollars on training employees about sexual harassment.
So the fact that some of you will be quick to defend Austin Aries because he’s such a good wrestler, and she did make a mistake when announcing, is shameful...just shameful. You shouldn’t even dare represent the so called Internet Wrestling Community, if such a thing exists. You people give wrestling fans a terrible reputation of immaturity and idiocy. Thank you for making us look bad.
Main Attraction: Raw 5/13/13
Ugh, Who Exactly was Asking For This? Well...the script dictates that this is the highly anticipated dance off...yea, right. My latest bowl movement is more anticipated than this. Fandango uses some dirty tactics and attacks Jericho before he even got a chance to show off any moves.
Why that brings me to tears...of joy.
But I tell you what, as much as I am not a huge fan of Fandango...this was actually some pretty good build. Honestly it was probably the best segment of the night.
Now before you all trace my IP address and approach my door with pitchforks and torches...or holding up your Iphones of pictures of pitchforks and torches...let’s see if we can try to separate the character from the actual person.
I have no problems with Curtis Johnathan Hussey. Hell, I think he is working the hardest out of anyone in the WWE right now. The problem is that the character he’s been given is really...really...bad. I mean even in this PG era of wrestling, the Ballroom Dancing wrestler seems to have been dropped into the wrong era. It may have fit in the 90’s, where we had clowns, garbagemen, and whatever the hell Bastion Booger was, running around the WWF. We like characters to be a bit out there sometimes, but within a certain realm of reality at the same time. A Ballroom Dancer turned wrestler, dancing around the ring every week, when even today you have the likes of Mark Henry and Ryback, doesn’t exactly scream Main Event. So to not only try to force feed us this concept, and debut him at Wrestlemania of all places, taking spots away from others more deserving like Cody Rhodes or even The Miz, AND not even allowing us to see a wide array of his talent in that debut match, is not only going to fail to win over a fanbase that tends to be tough to please nowadays, but will also cause that fanbase to be at times very overly critical. And that’s a problem when sometimes, not only is he not as bad as we all think he is on delivering a promo, but can at times be in fact...very good.
And that’s the example we have here. Although I do not like the character, for the most part Curtis has owned it. I think he has portrayed the character of a self-centered ballroom dancer as best as possibly can, and at times he does nail it. I mean look at what is being demanded of him...a self-centered ballroom dancer. For the most part, when he’s out there he does own this character. And although sometimes it may not be enough to win us over, I truly don’t think this is one of those times. I was very impressed with him tonight. I was impressed with the segment tonight, as surprising as that is. Perhaps my tune would’ve changed if they would’ve actually gone through with the stupid dance contest, but I think blowing it off to build heat was definitely the best way to go.
Lunch Time And now a series of painfully, short, matches. I mean it is despicable how short most of the matches were tonight. Although admittedly it’s two wrestlers who you would expect to have a short match for two entirely different reasons. On the one end...Ryback. On the other end...Ryder. Guess who won.
For those who said Ryder...wow...you’re a dumbass.
Quick! You Don’t Have a Ton of Time Another quickie. This time Tons of Funk and Prime Time Players. Every time I see Tons of Funk, I just hope that Karl Anderson will run into the ring, slap Albert across the head, and call him an idiot. Well, my wish didn’t come true again, but surprisingly the Prime Time Players picked up the win....wow.
I Still Don’t Understand This General Manager Hierarchy I mean seriously, I understand that Teddy Long is not the General Manager of Smackdown. But come to think of it, Vickie Guerrero isn’t technically the General Manager of Raw either (when the hell are they going to resolve that anyway), so...why does Teddy Long need permission from Vickie Guerrero to change the WHC triple threat match into a number one contender’s match? Shouldn’t he be asking the permission of Vince McMahon, or at the very least HHH?
Ah screw it, let’s try to figure out the hierarchy anyway.
So first we got Vickie, then I’m assuming Brad Maddox is still around, I’m not sure I missed a couple of episodes. So next would probably be Hornswoggle, he’s VKM’s son after all and a former GM himself...and former Cruiserweight Champion (ugh). Then we got Todd from accounting, Larry who washes the wrestlers laundry, Mike the janitor (FYI, was tempting to call this dude Jose but decided to dodge the bullet there), Rachel the secretary to Mike the Janitor, Steve who makes Donut runs for all the wrestlers, the Hooker that VKM picked up on the corner of Parsons and Liberty that one night, and finally the Smackdown GM and so forth.
How’d I do?
Brilliant Hype to a Match...That’s Not Taking Place Yea, so Sandow comes out declaring that Kingston’s US Title reign will come to an end soon. Well, that’s a brilliant half ass approach to build a PPV match...six days before the event. Then we later learn that the US title will be on the line between Kofi Kingston and...Dean Ambrose.
...Wow...we just went from half assing it to no assing it. Why the hell even have Sandow say ANYTHING about the US title. I mean look, the writing is on the wall. Kofi was clearly just a short term transitional champ. We all know Ambrose is getting the strap on Sunday. So we all know that a Sandow/Kingston match for the US title just will simply not happen.
I mean did the writers not know this and just give Sandow those lines by accident? Ugh, you know, that’s the problem with logic in the WWE...it’s rare.
Another quickie out of the way. Gee, I think there’s been a total of...what...five minutes of wrestling? Thank god for that, cause I know I don’t watch a wrestling show for the wrestling. Heh...that’d be stupid.
Ah, Check This Moment Off My Bucket List I think there may have been some divine intervention here, as I prayed really really hard for Josh Matthews to put that strap on.
Sheamus comes out and they start whipping each others asses. But, I’m confused. This Sunday, is the strap going to be made readily available to whip each other with? Or aren’t they going to be attached to an end of the strap, hence making all the whipping that we’ve been seeing as of late pointless come Sunday.
Orton versus THE MOST BORINGEST WRESTLER TO EVER PUT ON WRESTLING BOOTS...EVER Or so Cesaro has been dubbed by the WWE, and remember...if the WWE dubs you as such, then you might as well slit your wrist...or I guess that’s what they would like you to believe. Yea, nevermind that he was probably given a crappy ass gimmick to work with to begin with. If you’re told to dress up in a dog turd outfit and sell it to the fans...and commit the ultimate sin of failing to make one of WWE’s “genius” ideas work, you damn well better believe it’s because YOU are worthless, as WWE can do no wrong...ever.
Miz and Slater in...Another Wrestling Match? Ah! Take it away! Take it away! Please don’t stop shoving HHH/Brock down our throats. WWE has almost shown a full twenty minutes of wrestling out of nearly ninety minutes. Clearly that’s WAY too much.
. Next Creative Move: Taking Away Credibility for the COOLEST THING THEY HAVE GOING Okay, look...this was obviously the best match of the night. The six man elimination tag team match had all the hallmarks of a PPV style match, and it almost delivered...almost. The only problem is that in the end, it seemed to dwindle down to more pointless pandering to the Super Cena persona. Ugh, I mean the ending was poor. Now, I guess they thought in order to make The Shield look strong they had to eliminate Team Hell No and outnumber Cena, but when they did that they inadvertently made The Shield look weak. Here, not only has this team been decimating the competition in the past several months, but they had been beating the crap out of Cena through most of the match. By having Cena completely start to destroy The Shield when it’s left to just him only serves to make The Shield and Team Hell No look weak. There were six wrestlers in this ring, and five of them essentially did not come out looking better in the end all because they continue with this Super Cena crap. What we should’ve seen was both teams trading blows and pin falls...making it look exciting. When you whittle it down to John Cena versus The Shield, it doesn’t look exciting at all because we all know what’s about to happen. I guess the WWE didn’t want The Shield to suffer pin falls so early in the match, or to Team Hell No anyway...but hell, you guys kinda build yourself into a corner by making the match a six man elimination tag. You’re going to need The Shield to lose participants in order to make the match exciting. Once Daniel Bryan got eliminated, I’m sure the same words was going through everyone’s head...
Same Old S***.
Oh yea, then Ryback came out and remembered to attack the foot this time, cause missing that opportunity last week was a bit of a DEE-DEE-DEE moment.
AHHH!!!! MORE WRESTLING!!!! My God, WWE. Four matches in a row? This is such...a cultural shock...I need to sit down and take a breather.
And to WWE’s credit, two words that I can’t believe I’m putting next to each other, it’s a good match. And I hope it leads to something bigger for Big E Langston, because it is a shame that he’s not in the PPV.
It’s also a shame we saw Alberto Del Rio...it is always a shame.
The Mystery of Kaitlyn’s crush continues...oh yea, and there’s a Diva’s match. Yea, the match is kind of a footnote as the main focus is on the gift sent to her by her secret...HORNSWOGGLE!!!! It’s that goddamn little leprechaun turd Hornswoggle. But...WWE is going to keep dragging this out, aren’t they...
And no, I don’t remember what the gift was that she got. I’m surprised it wasn’t a little pot of gold.
...I really don’t care... Forgive me for not having a hard on for the big HHH/Brock Lesnar face to face, but I really don’t give a damn about this feud anymore. There were many options for WWE to go with, and they panicked and gave us this crap. And you know, it kinda does take away from their big showdown at Wrestlemania that they’re meeting again so soon at a PPV that, and I’m not sure if I’m in the majority or minority here, really isn’t a big deal. Kinda just a throwaway. But whatever, Heyman was good but other than that, I’m sure this confrontation pleased someone out there in the WWE-verse.
CONCLUSION I really didn’t comment much on the matches, and there’s a good reason for that...there was nothing to comment on! My god, without the six man tag match, there was just about thirty minutes of wrestling...IN A THREE HOUR PROGRAM. I’m sorry, but that’s crap. Even in the attitude era, where WWE was filling a lot of their air time with promos, there was still a lot more wrestling than this. With the exception of two matches, no one got a chance to really shine. No one got a chance to really wow. The wrestling on the wrestling show was a filler. It was just a really lacking show. In the six weeks since that amazing show in Jersey, the decline has been slow, steady, and painful. And, they did it. Six days before the PPV and they have hit bottom. Tell me again why I should invest a hefty fifty dollar sum on this show?
Two more painfully boring ideas to give Antonio Cesaro to further sabotage his wrestling career...out of five.
]]>wil2197http://forum.ewrestlingnews.com/entry.php?45406-Random-Throughts-A-Raw-Scolding-and-Another-Raw-ReviewRandom Thoughts: Smackdown 5-10-13
Sat, 11 May 2013 04:13:23 GMTHell, I'm not wasting time. Let's get low down and dirty.
MAIN ATTRACTION: Smackdown 5/10/13
Moaning and Bitching with Jericho
Jericho's band isn't performing tonight, giving him a chance to run his highlight reel segment, with tonight's honored guest, Ryback. So Jericho tells Ryback how he understands him and his drive for the title, but that if he wins the title he'll lose the respect of the fans. Personally I think it'll be WWE creative that'll cause him to lose respect with the forced heel turn...but whatever. They're about to fight, Teddy Long comes out to make a match between them, Ryback gets a cheap shot in...end scene.
Cody Rhodes vs Kingston
Any chance we get to see these two wrestle is a blessing. I can't help but to think that Rhodes should be main eventing by now. Rhodes/Cena at Extreme Rules? Is it too late?
Seeing The Same Thing Twice Still Doesn't Get Me Excited
Hey, guess what? That HHH/Lesnar feud? Still bored of it.
Ah, calls AJ a blondie. Are all rednecks color blind. Still a good talker though. Swagger versus Langston coming up!!!
Edit: Dolph was the blondie...oops.
Wait a Minute, Was This a Ladder Match?
No! No! No! It wasn't!!! Del Rio has to ruin it and turn it into cheap build for the triple threat ladder match. I don't mind that, BUT LET THEM PERFORM FIRST!!! Why is that man liked by the fans again? He just interfered with an ADVERTISED match and prevented it from starting. People should be shouting refund right now!!!
All Right!!! Daniel Bryan versus Dean Ambrose!!! (Keep Del Rio Away From the Ring!)
And it's great when Del Rio was not around. Exciting, fast paced, Shield got involved with a cheap shot, and Kingston would come in and lay out Ambrose in the end, resulting in a DQ and giving Dean Ambroose the...win...
...well, at least he waited till after Bryan and Ambrose did something in the ring.
Now What He Do?
Pull a tractor trailer apparently. Why? Um...cause this is what he do during off hours. Hell, I write blogs criticizing what he do during off hours, it's an even trade. :D
Picture of Sheamus' welts
Should've told Mark Henry a joke.
He Still Do It?
Okay, he's actually trying to set a new world record by pulling two big rigs across a certain distance. Now, did he do it? Who the hell knows. This is wrestling, it would make him look good if it looks like he made it. Was there any assistance in any way? Was there some official to even verify it? Who knows. But it did get a good reaction from the audience.
Another Raw Recap
Cause you know, with Smackdown having an hour less to work with, they got room for crap like that.
Did Orton Forget his Lines Again?
I'm sorry, it seemed like an awkward end to the interview. Either he used the wrong inflection in his voice or he was trying to ask the voices in his head for his line, but it just seemed to be...abrupt.
You Mean his Name Really was Changed to Sweet T?
Oh god. Albert, Giant Bernard, is this what you really came back from Japan for? Is this how you envisioned your WWE reboot? I mean...Sweet T? They had the nerve to debut you in that stupid Samurai outfit, but Sweet T? Do you think you deserve better, or at this point do you just want your check?
So...ugh...Sweet T starts off strong against Big Show. He pounds him, and pounds him, and pounds him...and Big Show knocks him out with one punch to show Albert that he is still worthless. Brodus Clay doesn't fair better, then Orton gets the cue from the voices in his head and nails Big Show with an RKO.
God damn it. The secret admirer is Hornswoggle, WWE has no idea what to do, we all know that's the lazy ass conclusion they're going to give this secret crush story, we all know that there's a storyline in the works for him to take over as WWE president...HORNSWOGGLE!
We also get to see Great Khali's brilliant undercover disguise as...ugh...Rey Mysterio.
Why, that'll never work. Everyone knows Rey Mysterio is injured.
The Great Jericho/Fandango Dance Off Advertised
It's the one thing...nobody ever wanted to see. WWE, do you purposely try to spit in people's faces?
Couldn't Ask for a Better Worker
Match was good, very good. And I credit Jericho, he is just a true veteran. I don't understand why he (EDIT: the "he" was suppose to be Ryback) got disqualified when his family jewels got crushed on the ring posts. Those strikes are always called quite inconsistently.
This wasn't a bad Smackdown. It was better than Raw, and that's considering the time wasted recapping crap that happened on Raw, so Smackdown is working with a handicap. And unfortunately it's because of that that Smackdown is not better by leaps and bounds, because this episode did have the potential. Ambrose versus Bryan was the best match of the night. The Mark Henry stuff was entertaining. and it was nice to see Cody Rhodes in action.
Three and a half dumbass Great Khali disguises out of five.
]]>wil2197http://forum.ewrestlingnews.com/entry.php?45393-Random-Thoughts-Smackdown-5-10-13Random Thoughts: Very Unspecial Lated Edition of Raw: 5-6-2013
Fri, 10 May 2013 23:39:47 GMTOkay, so after a work schedule that caused me to miss the last couple of weeks, and being sick with either the sniffles or the bird flu, I finally...Okay, so after a work schedule that caused me to miss the last couple of weeks, and being sick with either the sniffles or the bird flu, I finally can do this admittedly late edition of Random Thoughts. Warning, I'm going off of poorly written notes, so my blog may be less than godly.
Main Attraction: Raw - May 6th, 2013
Cena Comedy Hour
So Cena comes out, and because some idiot continues to tell him that he’s funny, decides to grace us with his latest comedy routine...imitating Daniel Bryan’s yes’s and no’s.
Gee, and now I hate Daniel Bryan by extension of John Cena. You see the power this man has?
Vickie Guerrero then comes out, and the bottom front half of her dress seems to be missing. Either that or that’s a cape and she’s a Super Villian. Anyway, after plugging Extreme Rules (because they won’t be doing that at all for the rest of the night), she calls Ryback out and offers Cena a chance to choose the match for Extreme Rules. But nooooo...we have to deal with more of Cena’s clever jokes Who wrote his script? The same idiots that did that Caveman show?
Don’t remember it? Bless your heart.
Ryback knows a good opportunity when he sees it, and chooses a LAST MAN STANDING match!!!! Awesome!
Ah, but a bit of interesting back story is revealed. Cena owes Ryback $1.60, THAT SONUVABITCH!!!!
Never Have an Oops Moment with Orton
So after Orton comes out, Sandow comes walking into the ring, singing much needed updated lyrics for Orton's theme song, but it turns out that he's not very appreciative of it, as he starts to beat the living snot out of Sandow.
Orton with a bad temper? Ha, so out of character.
After a decent match, Orton has Sandow where he wants him. The voices begin to talk to him. He proceeds to hit the ground and do his trademark...crap, Sandow got up too soon.
Ah, it's okay. Orton tends to be very forgivi...ummm...well I mean everyone makes mistakes. No big deal. Just look at Kofi Kingsto...oh...
Sandow will look great on NXT.
And now, in a brilliant production decision, knowing when the script says just when Big Show will attack Orton, they decide to keep the camera on the announce team, missing the attack. That's like missing the winning goal in an Stanley Cup final game, you just don't do that. What makes this even stupider is that wrestling IS SCRIPTED. You know when the action is going to take place, so tell the monkeys in that production van to cut to it right before it happens.
WWE threatens us with a Fandango appearance. BRING IT ON!!!!
But before that, Jericho comes out to announce that he and a team of judges would be scoring Fandango. Tons of Funk comes out...and this is probably the moment when tons of asses made their way to the toilet.
I wouldn't trust these two to judge a hot dog eating contest. And I don’t know...I think the judges were paid off cause Fandango’s scores were too high. Anything above a -34 seems suspicious.
As far as the match, it was all just a set up to have Fandango pout and walk out of the match...and for R-Truth to say “What’s Up!”
That’s how you capitalize on the Fandango craze...have him walk out of a match. Truly there are geniuses in the WWE.
On a plus side I was happy to learn I missed the Fandango vs Great Khali dance off last week.:cool:
Kane Steps in for Goat Face
After showing a recap of Daniel Bryan’s loss to Ryback and being jumped by The Shield, he’s given an interview in the back where he challenges Ryback to a rematch. Ryback shows up, tells Bryan to screw off, and is then challenged by Kane. We’re left to assume that the challenge is accepted as the match is announced after a commercial break.
Another Ziggler Loss...But Not Too Bad Still (RANT ALERT!!!)
Why? Because it was a damn good finish. Swagger comes out in the middle of the match. and towards the end, all hell breaks loose. Big E throws Del Rio into Swagger, and Swagger cleans house. Unfortunately my notes are a bit incomplete here, but I have been impressed with Swagger lately. I think they're doing a better job building him up as a major threat here than they did for his Wrestlemania match. I know there aren't a lot of fans of Jack Swagger's...well, existence, but you gotta give credit where credit is due. As much as I was also waiting for a Dolph Ziggler title run like everyone else, I can't help but to wonder how a Jack Swagger title run would've been. I mean, he had a great reboot in my opinion, has a great manager speaking for him, which I think was brilliant because a good speaker Swagger is not, and the vibe for him was strong. Of course that DUI ruined it all for him, but I can't help to be curious about the what if.
Now on the other hand, Del Rio's face turn has been a bore, the fact that he gets a good reaction from the crowd shows that the WWE universe truly is sheep, and Dolph Ziggler as a champ has been...well, shown to be pretty weak. I know the logic behind portraying him like this, in order to make him look like a vulnerable champion and make his title defenses look that more spectacular...that's stupid. I will stand alone on that point if I have to, but I declare that it is stupid. Now I'm not saying that he should be winning cleanly a lot, oh no. He is a heel after all. He should be cheating to win...a lot. And should've had a lot of cheat to wins under his belt before winning the belt. Because if your cheating to win a lot, it makes the character look just as vulnerable without devaluing him, which is what I feel all of these losses have done to him. And then if you have him go over cleanly at a PPV event, it still gives it that WOW factor. Having him lose all the time and just planning to have him win at PPVs does the exact opposite. It shows that he's not worthy to carry the belt and that every now and then, he's fortunate enough to pull one out of his ass every now and then, but that doesn't make him look like a good champion. I know I'm in the minority here, but I feel that Ziggler has been poorly managed by creative so far this year.
...kinda went off topic here...lets just move on.
Is It Really a Mystery?
So Kaitlyn tries to figure out the mystery of who her crus...Hornswoggle. It's Hornswoggle. Everything is Hornswoggle, come on. We're not going to be suckered again. VKM's son? Hornswoggle. Mystery GM? Hornswoggle. Disgraceful end to Cruiserweight title? Hornswoggle. Didn't flush the toilet? Hornswoggle. Didn't wash his hands? Hornswoggle. Who shot JR? Hornswoggle. See a pattern!?
This is a mystery that even The Great Khali can solve....
No...no...I take that back.
Shield + Y = Freebirds? (RANT ALERT!!!! AGAIN)
So the Shield takes on the team of Kofi Kingston and The Usos. I would say poor bastards but...everyone looked good. It was great to see The Usos perform on Raw and do an impressive job with it. Kofi Kingston had a good match, and they at least did look formidable against The Shield. Now of course they would lose in the end, but I think everyone came out as winners in what I say was the best match of the night.
Now...here's my issue, and don't I usually have one. JBL constantly compared The Shield to The Freebirds. He made a reference comparing them to The Four Horsemen as well, but he constantly compared them to The Freebirds so much that he was trying to have us believe The Freebirds were wrestling in that ring at the time. The Freebirds may have been one of the greatest stables in the history of wrestling, if not the greatest. And I mean the original incarnation, not the reboot they did years later. They were constantly feuding with The Von Erich's, one of the greatest feuds ever, for the six man tag team championship, a title I would like to see revived but the WWE can't even do a competent tag team division. The Freebirds was quite frankly legendary, and these guys are before my time. Just look them up on YouTube.
So to compare The Shield to The Freebirds...look, it's not that I don't think that The Shield is a great stable. I think twenty or twenty-five years down the road, The Shield should be inducted into The Hall of Fame, if it still exists by then. But I do think the comparison is unfair and will raise some eyebrows among wrestling fans. Both are great stables but the one thing The Freebirds had going for them that unfortunately The Shield doesn't have going is a great rivalry. They were a great trio, but the rivalry with the Von Erich's, made them legendary. It's not a requirement for a stable to have a rivalry with another stable to be considered great, but it does make the comparison unfair to both of them. The Shield has been fighting mainly alliances of superstars that usually ended after a pay per view. There just isn't a face stable to rival with for them. It doesn't exist right now.
That isn't meant to take away from The Shield, but rather just show that honestly, they're both cut from two entirely different pieces of cloth. I don't know if JBL came up with it himself or if the powers that be told him to hammer it to the audience, but I do think the bare bones comparison is poor because they're both different, but great.
Cesaro Finally Looks Good
I guess he's off punishment for stepping on McMahon's uncle's brother's nephew's cousin's cat's tail. Ryder on the other hand...
Brock/HHH hype. But...
I'm not hyped for it. I don't know, I mean Lesnar trashing HHH's office was good (and we got a Lesnar/Rock teaser for Wrestlemania 30), and Heyman is as always superb, but I think the problem is I don't want to see this match up again, or at least so soon after Wrestlemania. So Rock has seemingly bailed on the WWE. So you're worried about buy rates. Well, we have six weeks between Wrestlemania and Extreme Rules. So why don't we put on our thinking caps, the one that doesn't involve Hornswoggle, and think of a new feud to build up between two mid carders that could in the end steal the show. Six weeks is more than enough time build a compelling feud that the people will not only enjoy, but thank the WWE for since they do have to pay in upwards of fifty dollars for an ev...GOD DAMN IT, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE HORNSWOGGLE INTERFERE IN THE HHH/BROCK MATCH, AREN'T YOU!!!!!
Six diva tag...no rear end...Bella twins are bitches....NEXT!
Let's see what he do
Mark Henry comes out, after taking a dump (or he's sweating like he took one) and calls the crowd puppets.
...that'll be a gold star for you Mr. Henry.
Sheamus comes out, and as these two are about to duke it out, Wade Barrett comes out to ruin the fun. Rude prick, how dare you come out for your match!!!
It's short and predictable, Henry gets annoyed by Michael Cole (who wouldn't) and gets psyched out by Sheamus. Uh-oh, me thinks he won't like that.
And I was right as after Sheamus wins, Mark Henry proceeds to whip him like his bitch, telling him to tell him something funny.
You know, if I was being whipped by Mark Henry, I would at least telling him why the chicken crossed the road...anything to keep him from whipping me.
The Meh Event
It wasn't bad, standard match and no complaints really, other than Ryback's tit popping out...seriously, it looks like Ryback has boobs and one of them is popping out. Disturbing. Ryback wins...I believe, I didn't write the winner in my notes...Shield comes out, Cena comes out, Ryback walks away, Ryback comes back and attacks Cena with a chair, end scene.
Eh...lets get to the conclusion.
I'm sorry, I'm just not excited for Extreme Rules. I feel that it should be speeding to a showdown, but in the end it's a long, hard, painful slog. And I missed episodes, so shouldn't I not be feeling drained compared to a regular viewer. The show itself wasn't special. I loved the six man tag and the finish to the Del Rio-Ziggler match. But everything else from matches to promo was only at best, decent. I'm sorry, I just wasn't impressed overall. And with a dirt sheet claiming that the writers basically go week by week with scripts, rather than a long, planned out, structured script, well...week to week is exactly how this show feels.
I'll give it three Hornswoggle ideas of him winning the WHC out of five.
Tue, 16 Apr 2013 04:25:01 GMTOh boy, there’s trouble in paradise people.
*_The Honeymoon is Over_*
So, everyone probably read the dirt sheets by now. As every suspected,...Oh boy, there’s trouble in paradise people.
The Honeymoon is Over So, everyone probably read the dirt sheets by now. As every suspected, there appears to be more to the injury than originally told. And it makes it look more and more like The Rock deliberately put the WWE in a tight spot by never trying to reach out to them that he was leaving. And it looks as though The Rock and Cena just aren’t getting along.
Now, I can only speculate...so you’re damn right I’m going to.
So The Rock was pissed that he wasn’t going to hold the title at Wrestlemania. Now, I can kinda understand it somewhat, because beating The Rock at Wrestlemania, as insanely popular as he is, would be the equivalent of beating Hulk Hogan in the main event at Wrestlemania...but in the end, let’s think about it from a financial standpoint.
Cena, say what you like about him, is also insanely popular. Maybe not to a more mature audience, but to the majority...absolutely. So does it make sense to leave the belt on a man who cannot consistently make weekly performances because he has to juggle a PR and movie schedule as well, for a total of four months? Look at the heat he was gathering just being champ for two months. Sure, he makes money for the WWE, but I think Cena can generate more of an income in the long run, because quite frankly he can participate every week. Rock can’t. He’s about to shoot a movie. I guess he was still going to be able to make Extreme Rules, but how many appearances could he have made before then? How many live via satellite promos would we have to see? It just isn’t feasible to keep him as WWE champ.
However, The Rock seems to be having a hard time understanding that fact, or he understands it and just having a difficult time dealing with reality. I suspect that Rock probably believed that he was the one holding the mold together. Now, Rock is popular, but he is not necessarily needed. I don’t care how the audience sounds to everyone, but Cena’s popularity easily rivals The Rock’s. You got breakout stars like Ryback, The Shield, and stars that have spent time establishing themselves like Dolph Ziggler. Would it be nice to have The Rock? Yes. Can the WWE survive without him? Yes.
MAIN ATTRACTION: MONDAY NIGHT RAW: 4-15-13
Shhh...Smackdown never happened
So we start off with a wrestling match...surprise surprise...with Orton and Sheamus against Big Show.
...wait a minute? Didn’t we do this match last week on Smackdown? Well, you wouldn’t be able to tell considering that they recapped everything that happened on Raw, and none of what went down on Smackdown. Wow...the ratings were that low?
It’s a good match, but JBL made a good point. Big Show vs Sheamus AND Orton? That’s no fair. These two are former World Champs themselves. And well...he lost. This time Big Show decides to taking his beating like a man. Overall, still a good way to start the show.
So 3MB announce that their record sales are abysmal and wants The Shield to put them out of their misery. Brock Lesnar answers the call instead...and it...was...GLORIOUS!!!
Did Heath Slater need to be F-5’ed twice into the padded barricade? No. Should have Brock done it a third time? Hell yea!!!
Heyman then gets on the mic, and he is a great damn talker. Should never try managing his own promotion again, but a great damn talker. Heyman announced that Brock challenges Triple H to a steel cage match in the rubber-match that...quite frankly few people want to see.
Oh no. This is it for Cesaro, isn’t it
Yep, it is. Cesaro drops the title, the downfall is complete. I certainly called this in my last blog...which has yet to be approved on this site...*sigh* I love how Michael Cole calls the US Title prestigious. Sure it is...it’s so prestigious that they can’t get the graphic right when announcing Kofi Kingston as the new champ. And now, don’t misunderstand, I like Kofi Kingston. I think unfortunately he’s a mid-card for life...or at least a very long time, but I think he does make a good US champ every time he holds it. And the crowd seemed to like it too. Just that...I don’t like how they’ve been taking a dump on Cesaro lately.
Oh well. Bye Cesaro! Enjoy NXT!
Oh, that was uncalled for. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe Cesaro is in line for a main event push. And maybe his yodeling made my ears bleed...again.
Last week's cash in by Ziggler is shown in its entirety. Ah...good times.
Does he ever NOT get interrupted
So Ziggler comes out and has his work cut out for himself again, trying to remind the people that they should be booing him, not cheering. During this, Del Rio comes out demanding a rematch right away. Ziggler is about to brush him off, but Vickie Guerrero comes out and grants the rematch.
I know, I know. Am I going to go on a tirade about Vickie Guerrero getting involved in WHC manners. Well...not really. Although I do think Booker, or at least Teddy Long should’ve come out to grant the rematch, it doesn’t bother me that much either. You see, even though the WHC is a Smackdown title...kinda...the champ is on raw. If Ziggler wants to risk coming to Raw with the title, where Vickie Guerrero is in charge, fair game. By far different from Booker coming out in the beginning last week on RAW, a show he’s not in charge of, and telling Mark Henry he can’t go for the WWE title, authority that a Smackdown GM has never demonstrated over the WWE title.
So the match gets under way...almost. Swagger comes out...I thought that feud was over...along with Zeb. Zeb tells Dolph that he isn’t fit to be the champ...quite frankly neither is Swagger. Then Del Rio and Swagger get into it...I thought this feud was over...and Del Rio doesn’t come out better for it, getting his ass handed to him on a silver platter, with a side of his leg.
No, really, I thought that feud was over.
Another Prime Time Beating
The poor Prime Time Players. WWE is pushing this Be A Star anti-bullying campaign, and yet these two are bullied by Team Hell No on almost a weekly basis. Umm...double standards...much?
Well, of course Team Hell No wins again, those bullies, but we do get two things out of this.
One: A flying goat joke from JBL while Daniel Bryan is on the top rope. Funny. Two: The announcement of a six man tag next week with THE BROTHERS OF DESTRUCTION...and Bryan...versus the Shield.
Not Hungry...just feels abandoned
So we finally hear from Ryback, and...he pretty much has a good reason for attacking Cena. You have to a hundred percent sympathize with the character. Ryback has come out to help Cena every time he was attacked...and Cena hasn’t seemed to have return the favor. Hell, it makes him a very sympathetic character. He feels that he was used as nothing more than a stepping stone on Cena’s rise back to the top, and he feels honestly wronged. So from here on out, the gloves are going to come off.
This is an angle that I’m definitely looking forward to. They managed to give Ryback deep resentment towards Cena, while avoiding turning him heel, which I don’t think would’ve worked out to begin with. Touche, WWE...touche.
Because we should be reminded of great memories
They replay Brock tearing apart 3MB again.
Uh-Oh, we got a build up
So R-Truth takes on the IC Champ, Wade Barrett. Why is it R-Truth and Kofi Kingston keep getting build up to a title at the same time seemingly all the time? Do they have a buddies clause in their contract or something? Well, it’s short and sweet, and R-Truth manages to upset the champ.
Uh-Oh, Booker is gonna be pissed
So...ugh...Team Bickie gets a visit from Teddy Long, saying he set up a match with Swagger and Dolph tonight on Raw. Well, at least he has the curtosey to tell them. But Teddy doesn’t tell Booker.
So it’s Khali and Santino, with Hornswoggle and Natalya...ugh...versus the On again, Off again, Team Rhodes Scholar. Khali gives his team a strong start, but Santino starts his usual antics and Rhodes Scholar won’t have any of his nonsense. But as the script dictates, Santino turns things around and hits the Cobra on Sandow, while Hornswoggle tries to hit Rhodes with a mini...cobra?
Ok, really...who wrote this script!?
Well, Sandow still catches Santino from behind with the pin...thank god.
Lawler threatens to Fandango...ing
God help us all.
So Lawler is in the ring and he shows Fandangoing clips from supposedly all over the world.
Well...the book of Revelations is finally coming true. Repent now.
Lawler says Fandango’s name right to ensure that he comes out...damn it all. But when Fandango gets into the ring, he quickly starts talking about Lawler’s hips. The conversation gets really uncomfortable here for everyone, including Lawler, so he promptly and wisely leaves.
Fandango gets the crowd hyped up for...ugh...Fandangoing if the crowd can say his name right. Despite a step-by-step tutorial, Fandango is still not pleased so he tells the crowd to go fu...uhhh...Fandango themselves. And they do...promptly singing his song... :(
Cena announces he’ll be waiting for Ryback tonight
I support any decision that puts Cena in bodily harm at all times :)
So Dolph and Swagger square off and...ugh...Dolph is going to be coming out with the front of his World Title hanging off his ass every time, isn’t he. *sigh*
Well, Dolph gives Swagger a bitch slap, and that wasn’t a good idea. Swagger ends up dominating most of the match while AJ holds the World Title in the same manner that Gollum would hold the ring.
...are they related?
Swagger pulls off the upset, but his celebration was short-lived as Del Rio comes out attacking Swagger, putting him in the cross armbar while Swagger is hanging off the stage.
...again, I thought the feud was over.
Mark Henry doesn’t let Sheamus say a word
Cause that’s what he do. Sounds like a great title for a book teaching kids to potty.
Punk comes out to a decent ovation, and talks about how he has always tried to jump the next hurdle. He then starts talking about the Undertaker, hugs Heyman, and just leaves looking distraught.
I’m kind of hoping for a Punk run in next week when Undertaker fights...but I doubt it.
Told ya Booker would be pissed
And Teddy tells Booker that because Swagger won, he’s number one contender. Booker overrules Teddy and changes it into a triple threat match for the WHC. Booker then warns Teddy that he has to start handling his own business.
I smell heel turn.
BUT AGAIN...I THOUGHT THE SWAGGER-DEL RIO FEUD WAS OVER!!!
Okay, so to quickly summarize what happened in the Divas match, the Bella’s keep taunting Kaitlyn. Nikki actually comes out looking strong for a while but Kaitlyn gets the upper hand, but it’s twin switch-a-roo, and Brie gets the win on Nikki’s behalf.
Really, why isn’t there instant replay in wrestling?
Yayy, Cena gets bodily harmed...as well as the dude that cut to The Shield too early
Oops. Kinda spoiled the surprise there. So Cena comes out, calls out Ryback. Ryback comes out, Cena calls his excuses hogwash. Yea, that’s right, it’s just Ryback crying.
Waah, I’m not champ because of Cena
Waah, I’m in Cena’s shadow.
Waah, I got attacked by the Shield six times and Cena didn’t help, causing me bodily harm...oh wait...that part is actually true. Surprisingly enough, Cena doesn’t mention that part. Cherry-picking much?
Well, Cena challenges Ryback to a fight in the ring. As all big men that have an opportunity to squash someone like a bug usually do, Ryback just walks away. But that’s okay, cause The Shield, who we had ABSOLUTELY no idea that they were going to come out, comes out to give Cena a beating. Then they stop and look at Ryback. And Ryback looks at the ring.
And they look...
...and The Shield proceed to finish off Cena with a triple powerbomb, with Ryback leaving Cena to his fate. And Michael Cole is shocked by Ryback’s lack of action...really he sucks at his job.
But on the upside, in Shield we trust.
Of course now we can question why Team Hell No wouldn’t come out to help Cena since they’re building up a feud with The Shield, but I’ll just play the role of the mindless sheep. Yayyyyyy!
In conclusion, it was good. There was seven matches on the program for tonight, which is pretty good. Brock was good. Dolph was good. The Cena vs Ryback feud was good, especially on Ryback’s part. Overall, good show. Can’t top last week cause you really only get a crowd like that once a year. There was even Fandangoing...don’t know why that’s an upside, but whatever.
I’ll give it 4 resumes for a newly open spot on the production team, previously occupied by that dude that cut to The Shield way too early, out of 5.
]]>wil2197http://forum.ewrestlingnews.com/entry.php?45312-Random-Thoughts-The-Honeymoon-is-Over-amp-Another-RawRandom Thoughts: Mistakes, A Letter to the WWE Universe, and IMPACT WRESTLING 4-11-13
Sat, 13 Apr 2013 04:41:41 GMTWell, it’s another day in the wrestling world, as today I decide to focus the main attraction of this blog to TNA in order to decrease the amount of...Well, it’s another day in the wrestling world, as today I decide to focus the main attraction of this blog to TNA in order to decrease the amount of readers because...well, if you like WWE you have to hate TNA, right? But let’s do a little clean up duty first.
Flubs and Screw ups
Last time, I mentioned that the Rock was no longer on the Atlantic side of this country. Well, apparently that wasn’t true. While the dirt sheets originally said he went to Los Angeles, he in fact got checked up...in Miami. That still doesn’t excuse the fact that WWE found out about the Rock’s departure from the Northeast well late into the day, and quite frankly did make for a piss poor main event, which was only saved by Ryback.
While talking about Bryan jobbing to Big E Langston, I did forget to mention him trying to cop a feel on AJ. And you know what, she liked it. After Big E “hits” AJ, she clearly has a big smile on her face.
While Orton and Sheamus was arguing over who would be the number one contender...to face the Big Show *sigh*...I did forget the mention that awkward moment when Orton forgot his lines. Maybe I was just zoning out during this promo, because it is two people arguing over fighting the Big Show. But watching it again...I can’t imagine what went through Sheamus’ head when Randy asks him “What’s my line” in front of a live god damn arena audience and on live television.
A Letter To: WWE Universe
Dear WWE Universe:
God damn you all. Do you people realize what you all have done? You’ve all have had the nerve to make Fandango popular. Sure, humming his theme song may seem cute to all of you, but WWE Creative doesn’t know that. They think you genuinely like him as a wrestler. This is a huge problem, as his Wrestlemania performance was mediocre at best (and from what I saw, that’s being generous), yet it seems like they’re ready to surge Fandango into the main event scene all because of the sudden popularity...of his theme song.
God damn it! The theme song isn’t even that good. It’s generic!!!
Plus, you all do realize that the chant happened in New Jersey, right? NOTHING GOOD HAS EVER COME OUT OF JERSEY!!!
...except the Giants, but that’s because they’re being horribly held captive...in a 1.6 billion dollar state of the art football stadium with 80,000 seats, making it the largest football stadium in the country...DAMN THEM!!!
So thank you WWE Universe for making him popular. You have done three things:
1) Ensured that we’ll get a dangerous overdose of Fandango in the near future; 2) Help to elevate him and by doing so, helping to keep much more worthy talent down. 3) Proved Vince McMahon right. He can shovel any kind of crap to us, cause we’ll gladly eat it and beg for more. His next idea now? The revival of Duke “The Dumpster” Droese, as played by JTG.
Remember, say no to a Duke “The Dumpster” Droese revival played by JTG.
Sincerely, A deeply concerned wil2197 Main Attraction: TNA Impact Wrestling 4/11/13
Hogan kicks things off
Hogan kicks off the show with Jeff Hardy just to remind us that he’s not going anywhere...ever. Hell, he’ll have his dead corpse reanimated so he’ll continue to show up without a hitch for the rest of TNA’s existence...
...which is what? Like another six months at the rate TNA spends cash on these on the road shows. Hey, we complained that they should leave the Impact Zone. Hope we’re all happy if they run deep into the red before the year is out.
Best two out of three falls for the TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP...with the first two falls occuring in the first two minutes...
I mean seriously, what’s the point of having a two out of three falls match if you throw the first two falls away that quickly? And come to think of it, has anyone EVER seen a two out of three falls match end 2 - 0...and your WWE 13 Universe mode doesn’t count!!!
Other than that, not much to complain about. Actually, great match to kick things off. Being that the stipulation was Chavo and Hector have to break up if they lose, it’s not surprising that they won their titles back. But it certainly did seem dramatic at times.
Joey Ryan and the Penis References
Bless your heart, TV-14...bless your heart.
Enters Aces and Eights
Douchebags don’t know how to wear helmets? And Devon better get that Television title off his neck. I hate wrestlers that wear titles on their necks. It’s not cool, it’s stupid! You didn’t win a championship necklace, you won a belt...you moron!!!
A long winded speech by Joseph Park...for Joseph Park anyway
My god, someone get the man a glass a water...a chair to sit on...his asthma pump...anything. The man is struggling to say his lines without taking a few breaths between every word. He goes blabbing about how he has the anullment paper written up for Brooke Hogan, and Devon comes out...wearing his belt correctly this time.
He mentions how Park shouldn’t mess with his brother, Bully...what, you can’t see the similarities between Devon and Bully...and rips up the paperwork for the anullment
Ooooooo...because there’ s no way he can write up new papers.
And apparently he can’t, as Park begins to pick the pieces up. For Park’s stupidity...I wouldn’t even know where to begin...Devon promptly lays him out in the ring.
An Old Dirty Bitch in the middle
Former referee Taryn Terrell has a score to settle with Gail Kim. After a video package detailing their feud, we get...
HOLD IT! Unnecessary close-up of the announcer’s legs.
God bless you TV-14.
So ODB is named the special guest referee and...I don’t know. Usually I actually like the Knockout matches, they’re light years ahead of the Divas in terms of skills, but this match didn’t do it for me. It was over in two minutes and change, Taryn got her first victory, and ODB went around spanking her own ass...enough said.
A serious Gutcheck discus...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
I’m sorry, I like Al Snow. I really do. But...I just can’t take him seriously. At any moment I expected the mannequin head to jump in on the conversation to give it’s input.
Oh, after a tough decision they had to cut Pearce. Any smart promotion would give both of them a job...but we don’t give no thought to that...intelligent stuff.
After AJ’s Heart <3
So now the time has come!!! Hogan calls AJ out wanting an answer. TNA or Aces and Eights!? James Storm suddenly comes out.
“Sorry about your damn luck.”
I gotta hand it to James Storm, at least his theme song apologizes for him coming out. Oh, and you’re not forgiven...EVER!
Anyway, James Storm wants to fights. Hell, this is wrestling, right? Then Daniels and Kazarian comes out and they want AJ to join them!!!
And who does AJ Styles choose?
...The Miami Heat. God damn sellout!!!!:mad:
No, actually he just walks away. Yea, you know the big advertised AJ’s decision? Yea, screw you! Unfortunately for him though, Hogan orders a match between Storm and AJ Styles on the next Impact.
Joey Ryan vs Rob Terry
Hogan told off
Hogan can’t convince his daughter not to go to ringside for the main event. Yea...I’m sure everything will be okay (must keep straight face...must keep straight face).
Then the Brawny man decides to sound off against Hogan...err..I mean Matt Morgan, saying how he should’ve been number one contender. He tells Hogan his mistakes will catch up to him, puts a voodoo spell on Hogan, and says have a nice day.
Ooops, I mean Magno. Unfortunately, Davis gives Magno his first no, and is given thirty seconds to beg for his career. Despite a threat from him to send an invasion force from Asteroid M to wipe us all out, Prichard still says no.
Thank you Prichard, you’ve doomed mankind.
No, I’m just kidding with X-Men reference. Afterall, they wouldn’t cut both Pearce and Magno after they had praised them both in an earlier Gutcheck segment. That would be totally stupid. Oh wait, after cutting Pearce earlier, they decide to tell Magno to take a hike. That’s totally stupid.
Aces and Eights revving it up
Why? Because...they have nothing better to do. But Bully Ray proudly proclaims that he’ll beat Jeff Hardy alone tonight. Hmm...I wonder if that’ll hold?
Tables, Ladders and Ch...errr....Full Metal Mayhem!!!!
...nope, it doesn’t. Bully scores the win with the assist from Taz handing him a hammer But hell of a match still. Some interesting tidbits.
At least one ladder was harmed in the making of this match.
As Hardy sat Bully on a table, his ass fell right through. Weight Watchers is your friend, Bully.
Hardy was persistent as he went ALL THE WAY to the other side of the arena to get another table and brought it back...couldn’t we had thought of better placement for these tables? Like one under the ring?
Bully was nice enough to voluntarily lay on the table after a Twist of Fate so Hardy can pull off his move off the top rope. Isn’t Bully a nice guy.
Important lesson: If you climb a ladder, always make sure a table ISN’T behind you. Chances are you’re gonna fall through it.
So what did I think overall? I loved the beginning. I loved the ending. The middle...too much crap going on. I mean yea, there were two other wrestling matches, but they were short and squashes pretty much. I wish there would’ve been a third decent length match. And I probably didn’t address this properly with Raw in my last entry. Raw had about only two decent length matches as well, and the main event didn’t even fall in that category. The huge problem with that is that Raw is a three hour show, while Impact Wrestling is working with two hours, but at least Raw had two title changes which is rare. However, considering that Impact Wrestling has one less hour to work with, and I wasn’t tough enough on Raw for that flaw, I won’t be that tough on Impact Wrestling either.
I give this Impact Wrestling 4 broken tables after Bully Ray sat on them out of 5.