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Juvenile Junkie
09-10-2011, 05:36 AM
Ronaldo punished €20,000 for being big-game flop, Totti taxed €10,000 for trying to sack coach - 20 more ridiculous Felix Magath fines
Footballers of the world be very fearful, Felix is ready to milk you of your money


SATIRE
By Carlo Garganese | Deputy Editor

On Tuesday, a report emerged in Bild claiming that controversial Wolfsburg coach Felix Magath had imposed a new strict code of conduct for his players on and off the pitch. At the centre of this arrangement was a system of fines for all those found to be non-compliant.


According to the report, those late for training sessions and team meetings would be fined €100 for every minute they were late, while anyone discovered wearing headphones on the team bus would be punished €250.

For violations on the pitch, the fines became heavier: an unnecessary back-pass could cost a player €1,000, while a defender allowing a ball to bounce in front of him rather than clearing directly would be fined €500.

To celebrate Magath’s screwball scheme, Goal.com has satirically come up with some other hypothetical fines that players could expect to suffer at the hands of the former Germany midfielder.

€1,000: Backheeling the ball when you could just pass it normally (Javier Pastore)

€2,000: Leaving a gaping hole open in front of the defence (Alexandre Song)

€3,000: Leaving your clothes on the pitch (Yoann Gourcuff)

€4,000: Losing the ball in the stands due to over-ambitious long-shots (Diego Forlan)

€5,000: Downloading an AC Milan app on your iPad (Mario Balotelli)

€6,000: Getting caught diving (Dani Alves)

€7,000: Getting caught having an affair (Ryan Giggs/John Terry/every footballer)

€8,000: Failing to prevent your girlfriend from removing her belt and whipping a stranger (Ezequiel Lavezzi)

€9,000: Fooling all of your fans into thinking that you are a messiah, thus making it impossible for the club to sell you (Claudio Marchisio)

€10,000: Attempting to get your coach or manager sacked (Francesco Totti)

€11,000: Charging into sliding tackles like a blithering idiot (Michael Dawson/Pepe)

€12,000: Playing the entire opposition attack onside (Martin Demichelis/Cristian Molinaro)

€13,000: Running less distance than your own goalkeeper (Dimitar Berbatov)

€14,000: Having less than a 10% chance-to-goal conversion ratio (Mario Gomez/Gonzalo Higuain)

€15,000: Lying about your age (Eriberto/Obafemi Martins/Emerson)

€16,000: Blasting the ball at a spectator in the crowd from point-blank range (Lionel Messi)

€17,000: Failing to string a sentence together in your league’s native language within three years of arriving (Carlos Tevez/David Beckham)

€18,000: Playing for your country (Ryan Giggs)

€19,000: Refusing a transfer to another club just so you can be overpaid for doing nothing (Amauri)

€20,000: Flopping in big games (Cristiano Ronaldo/Zlatan Ibrahimovic)

Juvenile Junkie
09-10-2011, 05:38 AM
Running a Supermarket(Arsenal and Palermo)

Steve Austin
09-10-2011, 01:15 PM
Haha that is brilliant, good find.

Juvenile Junkie
09-10-2011, 02:06 PM
Francesco Totti,sacking coaches since 1992


Running less distance than your own goalkeeper-Berbatov,thats a bit harsh