View Full Version : EWA: Elite Wrestling Alliance Show Thread

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11-12-2011, 10:34 PM

Creative Team:
COO, Fury Head Writer and Pain! Writer: Robareid (http://www.ewrestlingnews.com/community/member.php?8569-Robareid)
Carnage Head Writer: (http://www.ewrestlingnews.com/community/member.php?9525-Destruction) PAU
Pain! Head Writer: eyehatecena (http://www.ewrestlingnews.com/community/member.php?240-eyehatecena)
Fury Writer: Shining Light (http://www.ewrestlingnews.com/community/member.php?9223-Shining-Light)

On Screen Owner: Mr. McGiven

House Shows
Hardcore Takeover
Girls Night Out (http://www.ewrestlingnews.com/community/showthread.php?11014-EWA-Elite-Wrestling-Alliance-Show-Thread&p=562737#post562737)
IC- In Character Tournament I

Bloodbath (http://www.ewrestlingnews.com/community/showthread.php?11014-EWA-Elite-Wrestling-Alliance-Show-Thread/page5)
Untamed Khaos (http://www.ewrestlingnews.com/community/showthread.php?11014-EWA-Elite-Wrestling-Alliance-Show-Thread/page32)
Clash at the Colosseum

New Years Eve Supershow (http://www.ewrestlingnews.com/community/showthread.php?11014-EWA-Elite-Wrestling-Alliance-Show-Thread/page9)
How Jacko Became Wacko (http://www.ewrestlingnews.com/community/showthread.php?11014-EWA-Elite-Wrestling-Alliance-Show-Thread/page21)


General Manager: Christopher Jackson
Commentators: Rich Goldsmith and Herbie Sampson
Interviewer: Ashley Ion

EWA World Champion: Alex Kidd
TV Champion: Artemis Eclipse
Fury Tag Champions: Panzer Division

Alex Kidd
Hanz Gruber
Van Hooligan X
Douglas Blake
Artemis Eclipse
Paul Conrad
Kid Wonder
Oli Panzer
Karl Panzer
Gerald Croft, Brutus Smith, Hanz Gruber- Croft Limited

Rob Rage
Michael “The Archangel”
Jack Phenix
Ali Kazam
Luke Turne
Rob Turne
Uilose Pamich
Roberto Pamich


General Manager: Horus Black
Commentators: Carter Davis and Harry Esel
Interviewer: Faith LeFleur

Pain World Champion: Thanatos
TV Champion: Harry Richards

Tobias Alexander
Johnny Hot
Holy Jose
Doug Baker
Tom Butcher
Alpha Romao

Mike Muir
Ryan “The Freak” Wells
Ryku O'Ryan
Harry Richards
Luc Ledesma
Blaze Xedir
El Enigmo
El Diablo- Juan Torres
Taco Torres
Paco Torres


Equivalent to WWECW, the developmental brand, the one where if you're new, you're more likely to be headed to.

General Manager: Jim Bellamy
Commentators: Howard Huggins and Bobby Watson
Interviewer: Iva Hardy

Carnage Championship: Mike Hawk

Mike Hawk
Carlos Alberto Ramon
Kurt Warrech
Clyde Amirez
Zack Amirez
Freddrick Detor
Amadeus Frewin

Jacob Cass
Dingo Mac
Ivanhoe Heskey
Adrian Guerrero
Devon Jones


EWA Hell Cats Champion: Barbie Panzer

Sasha Panzer
Ette Tour
Bertha Ray
April Snow

Barbie Panzer
Iva Hardy
Ashley Ion
Faith LeFleur

Point of Convergence

PM VanHooliganX for details of how to be in an episode

*If anyone sees an error in the roster list, please PM a creative member*
This thread is only for the shows, please do not post in here, but feel free to post in the EWA - Official Discussion Thread

11-12-2011, 10:35 PM
Travel Updates-

Carnage Ep. 7 - Athens, Greece

Fury Ep. 11 - Helsinki, Finland

PAIN! Ep. 6 - Warsaw, Poland

Clash at the Collessium

11-13-2011, 02:42 PM
Episode one

GM Mike Richman: Hello to all. I would like to welcome everyone to Fury, Elite Wrestling Alliance’s first ever TV show. We have signed some of the best talent there is out there. We have some well known guys from other feds who hope to make their marks here, we also have some exciting new talent that have not been seen in the other big feds. We have also signed the best tag teams in this business. Tonight we will have a tournament to crown the winner for the Elite World
Title. The tournament is simple, 12 members of the roster in total are taking part. One on one matches with the winners moving on to the semifinals, then the final- with the winner claiming the belt. Our announcers for Fury are Herbie Samson and Rich Goldsmith. Guys, let's start the show.

Rich: I’m, Rich and this is my partner Herbie. I am excited to be here. Can’t wait to get this started.

Herb: Its Herb, not Herbie. But yes, lets get this started. Our first man is coming to the ring right now:

Rich: Yes Herbie and boy is this guy is massive- its Barry Busmer. They call him the “Big Bang” he makes Batista look like a baby.

*He walks to the announcers table grabs a mic off of it.*

Busner: I don’t care what any of you think about me. I’m genetically superior. I’m a man mountain. I’m better than all the
wannabes on this roster. I’m going home with the title tonight, and there is nothing anybody can do about it.
*Crowd boos, he drops the mic on the ground. Enters the ring*

Herb: I actually believe that. Never seen him in action before, but damn this guy is big.

Rich: Ok now his opponent is on his way out: G-Scorp. What do you know about him Herbie?

Herb: Its Herb, not…never mind. I know he has made a name for himself in other feds. Lets see how he does here

11-13-2011, 02:51 PM
*G- Scorp walks to the announcer table, picks the mic off the floor.*

G-Scorp: Management, you want to run a successful and highly rated show? You can’t do that without the G-Scorp stinging only the way G-Scorp can that’s absurd. You may as well just hand me the belt now so we can all go home.

*G-Scorp enters the ring. Throws the mic out hitting almost hitting a crowd member.
*Crowd boos, yells out Scorp sucks, Scorp sucks….*

*Bell rings, match starts*


Herb: That was one amazing match, those two guys brought their a-games. Too bad they both got counted out, I would have picked either one to be in the final tonight..

Rich: Yeah me too Herbie wait our GM is telling me something over the headset….Ok since there was no winner, both are eliminated from the

*Both G-Scorp and Big Bang go bezerk after hearing this until security finally and barely get them to the back. *

Herb: Ok lets move on to another 1st round match, this one pits Alex Kidd against Jack Johnson. What do you think of this matchup Rich?

Rich: Well Herbie, I have heard some pretty great stuff about Kidd and have been lucky enough to see him in action a few times. He reminds me
of a shorter CM Punk, well a shorter mexican CM Punk minus the pepsi and the straightedge tatoos. Jack Johnson does have a very big win
against one major superstar from the 90s the Ulimate Warrior- other than that, I do not know that much about him I do know most crowds
love him though.

Herb: Well that has been Johnsons only win throughout his career, at least he has that going for him. He better step it up here in the EWA

11-13-2011, 02:55 PM
*Jack Johnson makes his way out to the ring stopping to say hello to Herb and Rich, and the time keeper. He then goes around ringside to say hello to some of the fans. He then enters the ring, says hello to the ref.*

*some fans cheer for him, a few laugh at him*

Rich: Wow, never really saw that before. Here comes Kidd.

*Kidd enters the ring, the bell rings. Jackson offers his hand to him. Kidd shakes it but does not let go of his hand. Kidd knees him in the gut. Then hits some stiff kicks to Jacksons legs. Johnson goes down.*


Herb: Johnson didn’t even have a chance, hopefully he learns from this.

Rich: I really like this Kidd looks like he is all business. Jackson looks like he is more interested in being everyones friend. He needs to man up.

Herb: Well lets move onto the next 1st match- this one pits Hanz Gruber against Carlos Alberto Ramon.

Rich: Carlos represented Portugal in the olmypics and then trained in Mexico. EWA is very lucky to have him. I expect big things from this guy.

Herb: Me too, seen his work before. Most people hate the guys atitude, but they have to respect his in ring work.

*Carlos comes to the ring, looks at the crowd with disgust. Looks at Herb in disgust, grabs a mic from the table, states that the GM should just give him the belt right now, He then drops the mic in front of Herb, crowd boos, then gets in the ring.

Herb: ahhh, umm...

Rich: Don’t tell me you just shit yourself.

Herb: Um I am ok. Ummm Here comes Hanz Gurber, he umm is from umm, I expect a good even match between ummm...

11-13-2011, 03:03 PM
Rich: Are you sure you are ok Herbie?

*Hanz marches to the ring, stopping by the announcer table.*

Hanz: Well look who is the the ring, Scott Hall, oh wait he got into the ring all by himself and does not have an IV hanging from his arm.
Can’t be Hall, must be that carlos guy I've been hearing about.

*some of the crowd laughs, some boo Hanz., Hanz drops the mic in front of Herb. Jumps into the ring.*

Herb: Ummm, I uh...

Rich: Relax Herbie, let's get this match started.


Herb: I think I am ok now. Seeing them beat the crap out of each other actually relaxed me. Hanz goes on to the second round.

Rich: Glad you’re ok now Herbie, didn’t really want to have to do therest of the show by myself

Herb: Yeah, that would not be that fun.

Rich: Joey Styles did it solo for years in ECW

Herb: You’re no Joey Styles though. Ok lets move on to the next match pitting Douglas Blake against Michael “The Archangel”.

Rich: Yeah, I do not know much about Blake, just heard this guy is very violent in the ring. He is not someone you really want to pick a
fight with.

Herb: I don’t ever plan on getting in his way. Michael “The Archangel” is someone I think will be the biggest star here one day. Look at his
brothers careers, and look what The Archangel has done in his short career. He is a former ROH TV champ, not too shabby. I think he will
make his brothers proud.

Rich: Ok, here come Douglas Blake making his way to the ring and he does not look too happy. This guy is big....

*Blake enters the ring and stares at the announcers table.

Herb: I really wish he would look away- he uh kinda scares me.

Rich: Relax Herbie.. ok Here comes Michael “The Archangel. Can’t wait to see this match up.

*Archangel makes his way to the ring, crowd is chanting his name.

Herb: Looks like he already has a following.* he stops by the table and picks up the mic

Michael “The Archangel: Hello EWA I am Micahel the Archangel. I come from a great wrestling family and I am here to not only step out of their shadow but become better than my both my older brothers shadows. So here I am to be your very first EWA World Heavyweight Champion.
*Archangel enters the ring
*bell rings, match starts*


*crowd cheers for The Archangel*

Rich: I thought Blake had him there for a second, great comeback by Michael. This guy has that “it” factor. Blake is also gonna go a long
way here- he’s a monster. Would like to see a 3 way match with G-Scorp, and Big Bang, just to see if any of those guys make it out alive.

Herb: They would probally bring the house down, and I mean that literally. I don’t want to be in the arena if that ever happens.

Rich: Ok, on to our next match then. First we have Rob Rage. Herb, what have you heard about Rage?

*Rob Rage comes out, high fiving the fans, and finally enters the ring and hand shakes the ref's hand*

Herb: Well, he loves his home country of England, loves and respects the wrestling business, may not look like a wrestler, but he is very good, don't be fooled. But I'm told in the report, and it's underlined, he has severe anger problems and will brawl with anyone who gets in the way

11-13-2011, 03:07 PM
Rich: Geez, it must be serious then. But next we have Silva.

*Silva enters the ring, scouting out, looking through the crowd while they are booing*

Rich: Now from what I have hear, he had a bad childhood and is looking for his mother, thus the looking in the crowd, but seems determined and dangerous.


Herb: What a match, back and forth the whole time but Rage gets the win and advances.

Rich: Yes, what a great match, hopefully this next one will be just as good.

Herb: I sure hope so, but first we have Ryku O'Ryan, a tough orphan from the Isle of Man, who was trained by HBK himself, wow!

Rich: That is something, wow, not a lot can boast that, he must be good!

*Ryan walks to the ring, wearing his native land's flag, to cheering*

Herb: Now we have Ryan "The Freak" Wells, now you may remember him from the NFL, and his devastating neck injury, but he recovered and he is now here in wrestling to win and win for the fans.

Rich: He is my pick to win this, look at him and his size! He is a monster, or a freak in this case.

*Wells walks to the ring high fiving every fan to cheering*
Herb: Here we go!


Rich: Wow, what a....a brawl I guess you could say! Even though Wells won, I don't think he has any energy left for the next round, great fight for the both of them, both have great futures here!

Herb: You took the words right out of my mouth Rich, what a match!
*Commercial Break*

Herb: Ok, now that we have got through the first round let’s talk to some of those advancing in the tournament before their matches. Lets send it to the lovely Ashley Ion in the backstage area.

Ashley: Well thanks Herbie. I’m here with Michael the Archangel who will meet Hanz Gruber in the 1st semi final match. So Michael, what brought you here?

Michael: As I stated earlier I came here to win the Elite World Title Ashley, and to prove that I do not live in my older brothers shadows. I proved myself against Blake- I know I can take Hanz.

11-13-2011, 03:12 PM
*Michael marches to the ring

*Hanz Gruber walks up to be interviewed*

Ashley: So Hanz, you’re meeting Michael next. What are your thoughts?

Hanz: Well Ashley, I came here to EWA to prove myself to be one ofthe best. I have to wrestle Michael to advance to closer to the title, it will just be another warm up match. I’ve seen his brothers in action elsewhere, and while they are great, Michael has not shown me that much at all. Sure he had his little TV title run in ROH but has not shown his stuff all around the world like I have. Some of his best matches were when he teamed up with his brothers, and in those, they
did the most work. In fact, I heard the only reason he was signed was just because of who he is related too. He really needs to……

*Two unknown people walk up behind Hanz, beat him with police batons.
One takes out his brass knuckles and knocks him out before can even
see who they were. They shove Ashley down and run off. Ashley gets up,
checks on Hanz and calls out for help. EMTs bring him off.*

Rich: What the hell? Who were those guys? Somebody needs to check on Ashley…umm I volunteer, be right back.

Herb: I don’t know what’s going on but here comes our GM out for the second time tonight.

GM Mike Richman: Well seems like we have a problem here. I hate to do this, but Archangel since you now have no opponent tonight, I am gonna have to eliminate you from the tournament.
*crowd boos*

GM: I’m really sorry, but you will have your shot soon. In fact, next week you and Hanz can have a match, with the winner getting a shot at the belt in the near future.

*Michael leaves the ring, crowd chanting his name while he has a look of disappointment*

GM: Rich, get the back to the announcing table, we got a show to run. Ashley, clean up, and take the rest of the night off...Ok, lets move on. Seeing that I already have The Archangel and Hanz booked for a match next week, and there are now only 3 guys left, we are gonna have a triple threat match for the title next! Rage, Wells and Kidd will fight for the title next!

Herb: Ok, you heard the GM, it will be a triple threat match for the title next, I can't wait!

Rich: Oh boy, I can't wait!

*Commercial Break*

*Comes back to show with Kidd, Rage and Wells in the ring, waiting to go*

*Ref rings bell, and match starts*

Rich: Oh my god!!! In an upset, Kidd wins the title, he wins the match! He stole the pin on Rage from Wells!

Herb: What a match! Kidd is our EWA World Champion!

Rich: What a great way to end our show, congrats to Kidd, but thank you for watching our first ever EWA show, hope to see you next week, thank you and have a great night!

11-13-2011, 03:22 PM
Two manangers have been seen in the backstage area, sitting at different moniters scouting the matches. One has a very large body guard.

Kid Wonder is also seen backstage talking to two large men, but its too dark to see who they are.

Breaking news: the GM calls for a Elite Wrestling Global Championship tournament next week, along with the EWA World Tagteam belts tournament to be done over the next few shows

11-20-2011, 10:50 AM
EWA Fury: Episode 2
Fury opening theme song: Hollywood Undead “Young” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ksq135WVHUo

**Pyro and fireworks commence** THE CROWD IS GOING CRAZY!

Rich: Hello EWA fans! Welcome to a special Saturday edition of EWA Fury! We are LIVE in San Diego, California and with many questions burning from last week’s tournament we are dying to get some answers!

**Alex Kidd’s theme song HITS! ** http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9SKFwtgUJHs

-Alex Kidd comes out with his world championship in his hand-(taunting the crowd)

Rich: Here we go! Our new world champion of the EWA Alex Kidd ladies and gentleman is making his way towards the ring.

-Alex Kidd is obviously posing for the crowd on the top rope-

**Alex Kidd walks slowly and fiercely, fans begin to boo**

Herb: Let’s listen in on what Alex Kidd wants to say tonight.

KIDD: Last week I became the World Heavyweight champion in a Triple Threat match something I am proud of doing

-Kidd lifts the championship while boos fill the arena-

KIDD: Boo me all you want because you pay to see a man you hate because I am the face of this company, I am the person who will lead this company to glory and the person who will sell out the arenas each and every week whether you like it or not it is true, I give you the best I have to offer to you and you won’t accept it

-Crowd chants you suck while some fans begin to cheer-

KIDD: I won this championship fair and square, it was time for Alex Kidd to get a championship match and I appreciate that this company knows my talent, I even got interviewed by pro wrestling illustrated, now imagine what I can do for the company the rest of my life for the fans, this championship rightfully represents me as the best in the world right now, and you should be celebrating with me not booing me
--Fans continue to boo, while the cheers earlier become more noticeable—

--Fans begin to chant “Rob Rage”

KIDD: I would gladly give Rob Rage a title shot but the truth is he is in the back of the line at the moment and you can blame EWA Management because I do not call the shots it is them and I respect them , I respect the decisions they make even if the fans won´t like it. The truth is I like you guys and it looks like I am going to have to prove my innocence.

--The boos become dim, and the cheering is frantic—

-Kidd drops the mic and taunts the crowd with his championship-

--Alex Kidd leaves the arena
Rich: What a powerful promo by our World Heavyweight Champion Alex Kidd, he is proving his innocence to these bloodlust fans and he is doing a damn good job of it, don’t you think Herb?

Herb: Absolutely Rich, with Alex Kidd holding the EWA Championship it only means good things for the EWA Universe, and I know the men behind the scenes are comfortable with Alex Kidd holding the championship.

Rich: You bet! As for our show tonight we got a great one! Our main event is too parts tonight! A Royal Rumble to decide who will become our first EWA Global Champion! And just before that we have one hell of a match between Michael The Archangel and Hanz Gruber!

Herb: The Royal Rumble is going to be a great match so many superstars can just run away with this title, and I promise you the winner of that match is destined for stardom.
Rich: I can’t wait, but to kick off Fury we got some tag team action!

Herb: Yes we do! We have Two of a Kind taking on Turnes and that’s coming your way NEXT!

**Turnes theme song HITS!** http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aSsqavYIgNc

**The two men walk towards the ring; electrifying the crowd**

Rich: What an ovation from the crowd, Turnes is red-hot with the fans here in San Diego, California!

**Two of a Kind’s theme song HITS!** http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C--gpM2BIW8

**The two men taunt the crowd and the boos are heavy!”

**Both men are at the ring staring at each other**

**The Referee checks both teams for illegal weapons**

**Boos fill the arena**

Rich: OH MY GOD! Two of a Kind! Ref,Ref! Dirty antics from Two of A Kind!

Herb: Disgusting actions from the team, the referee being occupied by an object in the arena, Two of a Kind pulls the chair quickly from underneath the ring and attacks Turnes. Horrible actions.

Rich: Whether that happened or not, Two of a Kind gets the win and they are proving that they are a dominant force here in EWA. We are now send it to Ashley backstage who is with Killa and Jack Phoenix!

Ashley: Thank you Rich! Hello EWA Fans I am joined by Killa and Jack Phoenix. Guys you both are competing for the Global Championship tonight, so let’s hear your mindset on tonight’s biggest match!

Jack: Well first, hello to all the fans of EWA, I am EWA’s newest superstar Jack Phoenix, now you may not know me but I am striving for this moment, this moment right here. This moment of my life is possibly the biggest of my career to date. And tonight it is finally here and I am ready to relish it. I mean from starting in the business at such a young age, and now being able to get my first big shot so early in my tender career is almost to much to handle. Now tonight I enter the tournament to win the right to become EWA’s First Global Champion! Now I will come across some of the greatest competitors in the business today and it will be tough, but I won’t give in until I win this tournament for you fans. So all of you get ready because tonight is the start of a dynasty. The start of a legacy. The legacy of Jack Phoenix!


Ashley: Thank you Jack for your words, we are now here with fellow competitor tonight Killa. Killa do you have any words before your match tonight?

**Killa laughs in response to Jack’s words**

Killa: First Of All Keep Your Eye Sight Down When your in My Presence, Don't Neva look a Top Dog in the eye
When You Don't Have My Respect, Sticks and stones may Break Your Bones,But Bullets Would Kill You...
You Ever been 2 Da Hood? (Noo, Noo ,Sir ,siir)
Everything that I Have Ever had ,All Have been wanting to Take ,..That's how I became the Most Vicious and Most Ruthlessss
Ask Bout Me..The Streets know How I Handle Mines, I've Stated Before ,I've stated it when I signed my EWa Contract
The Ring is Now my Hood, And I'm Settin Up Shop, And Takin Over
Not Little by Little ,But Completely shuttin shit down!!!
I Been Battling All My LiFe so What's a Battle Royal to a KiLLA
I Don't Stride no more, I Strike, Snypastyle ...
To Gain Wealth,Fame, and Gold!.....
Wealth my Luxorious Ewa Check Comin in.
Fame When I Showcase myself Gon GLOBAL.
Gold ,(smirks,and grabs mic ) The Championship Win!
Your either With It or Not
Shoutouts or Shootouts!
Come See KiLLA!

11-20-2011, 10:53 AM
**Boos fill the arena**

Ashley: Thank you both for your time, and I wish you both the best of luck! That’s it from backstage. Now back to Fury with Rich and Herb!
Rich: Thank you Ash, I mean let’s just think about what we just endured from those two interviews. Both have the same determination and the same goals, as well as the same aspect, but the fan reaction splits the line. The fans love Jack Phoenix and they cannot wait to be behind him tonight during that Battle Royal. As for Killa, well it seems he doesn’t care but as always we wish both men the best of luck!

Herb: We sure do Rich! Don’t forget folks that’s our MAIN EVENT tonight! The Battle Royal for the EWA Global Championship! And our Co-Main Event? Ha, we got two of the best in the business. Hanz Gruber is taking on Michael The ArchAngel! I think we are now being joined backstage with some words from Rob Rage.

Rich: Here we go! And I think we are getting a response from earlier tonight our EWA Champion Alex Kidd made his presence felt and called out this man Rob Rage, but let’s hear what this man has to say.

**A camera is in the back, by the locker room as Rob Rage comes out, wearing the Best of British top . He walks straight past the cameraman, who follows him**
Camera Man: Rob! *Rob looks back then continues walking* Rob! Rob!

RR: What the hell do you want!
R: What the hell do you want!

CM: Well we just wanted…

RR: Shut the fuck up!

CM: But, you

RR: *Interrupting again* I thought I told you to keep your mouth shut? Or do you want me to close it for you? *There is a pause while the camera man shakes his head* Didn’t think so. Now leave me be, I’ve got more important things to do than talk to knobs like you.

Laughter is heard from one of the locker room doors. The camera turns to show it as the aristocratic manager, Gerald Croft, closely flanked by his huge Butler.

GC: My my, what a temper you have.

RR: You got something to say? Cos if not I’d advise you to stay out of my business if you don’t want to be shitting teeth for the next couple of weeks.

GC: Calm down man, I know why you’re in such a mood. That Kidd boy has been running his mouth saying he’s the face of this company. Well I say fiddlesticks to that. He may have won the title, but there’s no way he could have beaten you in a one on one match. I’ve got an eye for talent, and from what I’ve seen of you, you’re teeming with the stuff. In my opinion, that match was basically a two on one match, and I would wager a considerable amount that you would win a one on one rematch for the title.

I love that slogan on your top by the way, “Best of British”, jolly good stuff. You know, the best always do come from Britain, like myself of course. So, erm, I was pondering the thought of us two Brits making a sort of alliance. You know you look after me, and I offer you my managerial services, as well as a certain protection from my Butler here. You know, us Brits have to look after each other, because nobody else will. You know, I could see a title shot going your way if you joined with me.

RR: Are you suggesting I couldn’t earn a title shot on my own?

Rob starts towards Croft, but his giant Butler quickly puts himself between the two

GC: Don’t worry Smith, I’ve got this. No Robert, I wasn’t insinuating that at all. Quite the opposite in fact, I know you can earn a title shot if just given the opportunity, but look, already tonight you have been overlooked. After a fantastic showing in the tournament, you have been left out of the number 1 contender match in favour of this Michael Archangel and Hanz, a bloody German! That’s where I come in. I have a significant network of individuals throughout the world, and more importantly, in this company. I can get you the opportunities, and I know you can cash in on them. So what do you say?

Rob pauses for a few seconds, thinking it over

RR: I don’t need any help climbing my way to the top of this company. I’ve done it in other places and god dammit I’ll do it here. So take you’re managerial services, and shove them where the sun doesn’t shine and turn around, and go straight back through that door, before I stick my boot so far up your arse that you’ll be flossing with my shoelaces!

GC: Okay, okay, no need to get aggressive. I’ll go, but if you change your mind, you know where you’ll find me.

He along with his Butler retreat back into their locker room

Rob turns back to the cameraman.

R: I’m sorry man; I shouldn’t have been so harsh to you before. It’s just, after Alex Kidd winning the belt he has been saying he’s the face of EWA. You see, me and him have a history, and I know how bad a champion this guy is for a company. I don’t want to see this young and blossoming company ruined by this guy, it’s got so much potential. I give my support to Michael in the number one contender match tonight; this is the kind of guy who can give a new belt like the EWA World title some credibility. Yes I’m pissed I’m not in it, but hey, what can you do. I’m going to go out there, and win my match without any help, and hopefully start working my way into the title picture. Kidd, I’m coming for you, and you do know that!

With that Rob walks away from the camera, and it goes to a commercial break.
Rich: Hello fans and we are back LIVE in beautiful San Diego for EWA Fury, before the commercial break we witnessed Rob Rage’s harsh words for Alex Kidd, and what he feels he deserves.

Herb: But the question is Rich does he deserve it? Don’t get me wrong here Rob Rage is a great indivisual and one of the best wrestlers in EWA today but then again so is Alex Kidd, and as of right now Alex Kidd is the man that is holding the EWA Championship and not Rob Rage, no disrespect towards Rob Rage it’s just facts are facts, and Alex Kidd the current EWA Champion is a fact.

Rich: You know what else is a fact? The EWA Battle Royal for the Global Championship TONIGHT! That’s our main event!

Herb: Haha nice Segway, but our co-main event, Michael The Archangel taking on Hanz Gruber.

Rich: But for right now we have another tag team match!

Herb: That’s right II Cativo taking on the Panzer Division and that’s coming your way NEXT!

**II Cativo’s entrance song HITS** http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5bO5BAujCbk

Rich: Here comes II Cativo!

Herb: Great tag team. They really know how to work together and their skills are phenomenal.

Rich: You bet!

**Panzer Divison RUNS TO THE RING**

Rich: And here comes Panzer Division! (Laughs)

Herb: No music necessary!

11-20-2011, 10:56 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9JBrmBIwdYw&feature=youtu.be (II Cativo vs Panzer Divison)

Rich: Great match! II Cativo comes up with the victory

Herb: Didn’t I tell you Rich? Didn’t I? II Cativo is probably the best tag team in the EWA. No one can beat them!

Rich: Haha Hebie relax let’s not start something.

**Ryan Wells’ theme HITS! ** http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QuzDghzyVjk

Rich: Here comes Ryan!

**Boos fill the arena**

Ryan: Hello everyone! How are all of you tonight? I hope great, because that is how I am with all of you around! But I have to talk about something serious for a second, I'm sorry. Last week, I lost out on winning the World Title by a slithering slimeball who goes by the name Alex Kidd.

* Crowd Boos*

Ryan: I had the pin on Rob Rage, who I deeply respect. But Kidd out of nowhere cheapshots me and steals the pin from me and claimed the title. I did not appreciate that at all, but shit happens. Now, I will win the title back one day and be the people's champion, for all of you. I promise that. But seeing as creative won't put me in a title shot for some reason, I have another idea.

Ryan: Any wrestler backstage who thinks they can beat me, I issue an open challenge for next week, to wrestle. Anyone who has the guts to face Ryan "The Freak" Wells, with the great fans of EWA in his corner, come to this ring next week and get ready to be destroyed!

* Drops mic while crowd cheers *

Rich: Powerful words by Ryan “TheFreak” Wells!

Herb: We’ll be right back after this commercial break!

**Hanz Gruber’s theme song HITS!** http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I7dyu50SCxc

Hanz: I Hanz Gruuuuuber. Archangel, you be destroyed tonight, I win and get title in future. You think ya can beat mwah at wrestling? Hahaha, think again iddddddiot, I Hanz Gruber, I never lose in da ring. Ya see tonight, when me make you pancake, mwhahahahah. Title mine, soon. But tonight, Archangel die!

Rich: Words by Hanz Gruber means only ONE THING! We are inching closer and closer to our Main Event tonight! The Battle Royal for the Global Championship! And our co-main event Michael The Archangel taking on Hanz Gruber!

Herb: And That’s coming NEXT!

**Michael The ArchAngel’s theme song HITS!** http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=orxTOGpyb1c&feature=player_embedded

**Hanz Gruber’s theme song HITS!** http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I7dyu50SCxc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pGYdzGfG4ws&feature=youtu.be (Michael The Archangel vs Hanz Gruber)

Rich: Amazing win for Michael! Great win he is continuing to prove week by week here in the EWA that he is a force to be reckoned with!

Herb: You bet Rich! And Alex Kidd I know for a fact watched this match and is just wondering is it a matter of time before his tile will be taken away

Rich: Possibly at Bloodbath we don’t know!

Herb: But finally we are now on to our MAIN EVENT! The Battle Royal for the EWA Global Championship and that’s coming your way NEXT!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-jKpSJyWDM&feature=youtu.be (PART 1)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L0R3z8GwFgc&feature=youtu.be (PART 2)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SOHynz-vfnI&feature=related (PART 3)

Rich: Oh My God! Jack Phoenix is our EWA Global Champion! Jack Phoenix snuck up and eliminated Killa.

Herb: What a Battle Royal, Jack has shown determination throughout the whole match and he got the win, and more importantly the title

Rich: Questions will arise as to what happens in the near future of Jack Phoenix. We are now in the AGE of Phoenix.

Herb: You’re damn right! And as I said from the beginning of our show whoever walks out tonight with the EWA Global Championship will become a star, and I think that star is emerging in Jack Phoenix!

Rich: On behalf of the EWA, I’m Rich, he’s Herb and this was EWA Fury, Goodnight San Diego! We’ll see you next week in Miami,FL!


11-29-2011, 02:23 AM
Filler 1...

11-29-2011, 02:24 AM
Filller 2...

11-29-2011, 02:24 AM
Third Filler... I it really worth even doing this?

11-29-2011, 02:25 AM
Have a guess... Yep, you got it, Filler 4

11-29-2011, 02:26 AM
Remember to watch Bloodbath, Wed Dec 7th

11-29-2011, 02:27 AM
Filler Number 6

11-29-2011, 02:27 AM
Nearlt there, only one more left now

11-29-2011, 02:28 AM
Here we go. I am still waiting on stuff from Broc (Not his fault, he sent it to Wars but the Wars couldn't post it), but I'm going to post it anyway, up until the bit where I need something from Broc

11-29-2011, 02:42 AM
EWA Fury Episode 3


EWA Fury Theme Song: Hollywood Undead “Young” (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ksq135WVHUo)

Pyro and theme commence**CROWD GOES CRAZY**

Rich: Hello EWA Fans, and welcome to the American Airlines Arena in downtown Miami, the host of
tonight’s EWA Fury! With the ongoing questions flourishing from last week’s controversial battle royal
what we will we hear from the champion himself Jack Phoenix?

Herb: And what will we hear from Alex Kidd? Our EWA Champion must have things going on in his mind if Michael TheArchangel can actually beat this man. With Archangel being officially the number one contender for the title, is Alex Kidd afraid of defending it at Bloodbath?

Rich: All those questions and a ton of matches in store tonight as we draw closer to our very first pay per view Bloodbath LIVE in Toronto, Canada!. But tonight we are in Miami, Florida home of the Miami Heat! And we’re going to do it big tonight, so sit back relax because right now we have the EWA Champion Alex Kidd taking on Ryku O Ryan.

Here comes Ryku (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vbwZNALLjgs&feature=player_embedded)

HS: This guys got nothing to lose and a lot to gain here tonight. He's an amazing athlete, can he pull it together against our World champion

RG: Nothing to lose? He is going to be a broken pile of bones after Kidd has finished with him. I class that as a loss

And here is our world champion (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9SKFwtgUJHs&feature=player_embedded)

RG: And here is the guy who is going to humiliate this Ryku today

HS: Look Rich, this Ryku is a big rising star, he isn't just going to let Kidd walk all over him


Rich: What a win for Alex Kidd! The champion takes our Ryku O'Ryan without even using the superkick. ONLY a warm-up before his epic encounter vs Michael the Archangel at Bloodbath

Herb: And Alex Kidd has a mic in his hand, he is ready to speak!

AK: well I am here again with a crowd that I love to entertain, but guess what you all cocksuckers hate
me now don´t ya, well from now I I will start to prove why I am the best this company has to offer and
why I am the poster boy for this company.

AK: you see guys let me tell you a story of how I made i it to the top,

-kidd asks for a chair and sits down in the ring-

AK: well I became the best in this company because I bust my ass of when you idiot }s do not
appreciate what I do for you bunch of stupid redneck wannabe fans , my daily life revolves around being
liked by the fans here because quite honestly I am not liked anywhere I go, yeah it is that bad I go to

mcdonalds they throw stuff at me. I go to walmart employees don’t want to pay attention to me. Sur I
am a cocky son of a bitch but you know what you morons need to pay attention to song lyrics, especially
my song lyrics because that is what I think ITS MY DAMN LIFE
-crowd reacts heavily but some are still booing him-

AK: at this point in my career I don’t even want to know what you guys think about me in fact I don’t
even really care about anything except retaining this championship and there is nobody who can stop
me not, rob rage, not Michael angelo angel or anybody for this mater.

AK: this championship is not going anywhere at bloodbath nobody will beat me, I guarantee it, if I
have to bleed I will bleed but angel will not beat me, at bloodbath this championship will stay with me
and it ill stay here for the rest of my career with EWA

-crowd gives a mixed reaction as music starts playing-

Rich: Powerful words from the Champion himself, proving why he is a dominant force in EWA

HS: We have to go to a commercial break now, see you on the other side

11-29-2011, 03:33 AM
Back from the commercial break, Rob Rage is in his locker room with a mic in hand, wearing jeans and his Best of British top.

RR: Hello, hello, hello, Rob Rage here, Best of British and all that schataz. I’m going to cut to the chase here; I’m main eventing tonight, against Hanz Gruber. Now for a change, this match isn’t going to be about hatred, or a blood feud or anything like that. This match is about proving who the better athlete is, putting on a great match for all you fans, and, for the winner at least, moving into position right behind Michael for the next shot at Alex Kidd. I know you want your shot, and I’m damn sure there is nothing more I want than getting my hands on Alex Kidd, and taking the title off him would just be a bonus.

For me, this match is about proving myself here in EWA, proving myself in the eyes of the management, proving myself in the eyes of the fans, and showing I can hang with the big boys here in EWA. Hanz, in the eyes of the brass, you are obviously already at that level, because you were put in the number one contenders match last week. I would have to agree with them too, from what I saw last week; you’re an amazing competitor between those ropes. However, and this is where your problem is, and you guys know that I like to toot my own horn a bit, but so am I. I’m every bit your equal in that squared circle, and that is what is going to make our match so great. That…

Suddenly, from off camera, Rage is interrupted by Gerald Croft

GC: Pardon the interruption, but I was wondering if you had reconsidered my offer?

RR: I thought I told you last week, I don’t need any help getting to the top, especially not from somebody like you.

GC: What do you mean by that? I’m a perfectly upstanding citizen, looking to help out a fellow Brit.

RR: You’re not fooling anybody, I know you’re kind. You’re nothing more than a conman, using others to weasel your way to the top with false promises, and underhand tactics, then you will kick your host to the curb and move onto your next unwilling victim. You run peoples careers, but I assure you son, you ain’t going to ruin this boy Rage’s career, no way fucking Jose.

GC: I assure you that

RR: Get the fuck out of my locker room, before I make you, or do you like the idea of shitting out teeth for the rest of the month?

GC: Okay, okay, I’ll leave, but you’re making a huge mistake.

-Croft leaves-

RR: Jesus Christ. *Looks over at the cameraman* Time for you to skedaddle, I’ve got a big match to prepare for

RG: How stupid can you get, Rage just refused a guarenteed route to the top

HS: Rich, Rob wants to show everyone that he can make it to the top on his own, is there anything bad about that?

RG: Maybe not bad, but definatly stupid. Mark my words, Croft will get his revnge for this, you just don't disrespect a man with that much power

12-01-2011, 03:20 AM
HS: Next up we have Ryan the Freak Wells’ open challenge

RG: Well this should be good. PISS BREAK!

HS: Oh shut up Rich, you never know who is going to accept this challenge; surely that excites you at least slightly

It’s the freak! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QuzDghzyVjk )

As Ryan makes his way down to the ring, the video of his challenge from last week airs on the Elitron

Ryan: Hello everyone! How are all of you tonight? I hope great, because that is how I am with all of you around! But I have to talk about something serious for a second, I'm sorry. Last week, I lost out on winning the World Title by a slithering slimeball who goes by the name Alex Kidd.

* Crowd Boos*

Ryan: I had the pin on Rob Rage, who I deeply respect. But Kidd out of nowhere cheapshots me and steals the pin from me and claimed the title. I did not appreciate that at all, but shit happens. Now, I will win the title back one day and be the people's champion, for all of you. I promise that. But seeing as creative won't put me in a title shot for some reason, I have another idea.

Any wrestler backstage who thinks they can beat me, I issue an open challenge for next week, to wrestle. Anyone who has the guts to face Ryan "The Freak" Wells, with the great fans of EWA in his corner, come to this ring next week and get ready to be destroyed!

* Drops mic while crowd cheers *

Wells gets into the ring, leans against the ropes and awaits his challenger to come out

This video airs on the Elitron:

Ashley Ion is standing in the back with the mystery man who is supposedly taking on Wells

Ashley Ion: "Ladies and Gentlemen, right now I am joined by someone in EWA who has yet to make his debut, but promises to makes waves once he gets inside the ring. His name? Is Van Hooligan X. So Van, how does it feel to be making your debut tonight in the Ryan Wells challenge?"

*As Ashley points the mic towards his face, Van doesn't even attempt to speak and grabs the mic of her with haste*

VHX: E-W-N. Tonight marks the beginning of wrestling history as I make my debut into wrestling. Surely this means I’m green, a big hotshot rookie who is nothing more than hot air. Well you're wrong. I have been wrestling since I was 13. Against guys 3 times the size of me at times and still I would come out the victor! I can go 1 on 1 with anyone in this business and damn sure as well know that my arm would be raised at the end of any of those matches.

Tonight EWN you witness greatness-no. No you witness history in the making as I make my debut that will be 1 to remember. So to answer this bitches question. The Vanity is looking forward to this challenge of his. The Vanity is going to make tonight a night no-one forgets!

*Van then moves the mic closer to Ashley so she can grab it, she is a little slow in the realisation he is giving her the mic back to her since she didn't enjoy being called a bitch but she reaches for the mic. Unfortunately for her Van then throws the mic over his head away from her and the whole scene*

VHX: "...Fetch." *with a big smirk of his face Van walks away*

RG: I like him; I like him a lot

Here he comes (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g2eHh4GcJMQ)


*Ignore ending*

RG: Wow, Van has really dominated the freak so far in this match

HS: As much as I hate to say it, you’re right. Don’t count Wells out just yet though

Van Hooligan whips Wells into the corner then charges in and… SPEAR! Huge spear by Wells! He goes for the pin




RG: Well, there goes Wells’ last chance

HS: I wouldn’t be so sure, look at this

Wells has him back up and lifts him up for a suplex, but X rakes his eyes and gets down

Ref: You do that again and I’ll disqualify you!

VHX: Fair enough

Van kicks Wells straight in the balls, getting him disqualified immediately

HS: Well that was stupid

RG: Err, well… Yes, it was really wasn’t it…

Van Hooligan then bails out of the ring and pulls out a cricket bat from under the ring, then slides back in and starts viciously laying in shots on Wells

RG: Or maybe it wasn’t, Wells must have disrespected him before the match, so Van Hooligan is teaching him manners

HS: You’re full of shit Rich

Van continues to deliver these lethal cricket bat blows before picking him up, and hitting his finisher, the Vanguard. Van Hooligan X stands over Wells, puts a foot on top of him and counts to three

VHX: *Shouting* The world’s best wrestler has arrived!

HS: Disgusting

RG: Genius, now it’s time for another commercial break

12-02-2011, 11:35 AM
HS: Welcome back, after witnessing that disgusting attack

RG: Oh come on Herb, if you think that attack was horrible you are really in the wrong business

HS: Rich, can you stop interrupting me? …Thank you. Now up next we have Hanz Gruber

RG: I love this guy!

HS: Rich! Shut the fuck up! Right anyway, now we’re going to hear from the other half of our main event tonight, Hanz Gruber. Over to you Ashley

-Hanz is with Ashley Ion in the back-

AI: Thank you Herb, now Hanz, you’re going against Rob Rage tonight in a big match, what are your thoughts?

HG: Rob, you were lucky that I was taken out on the first episode of Fury early on during the tournament for the EWA World Title; else I would have been in the final after beating the Archangel in our semi-finals match. Sadly that match never got to take place. So it came down to you, Kidd and Wells- and the better man came out on top. Not taking anything away from you, I've seen you in action many times before and have always been impressed with what I have seen you do in the ring. You are probably the best wrestler to come out of England since the late Davey Boy Smith and at least you did not come off as a whiny little shit like Wells did last week, complaining that someone stole his pin, you took it like a man. And you moved on, much as I did after my lost to Archangel last week, I accepted that lose, and it has only strengthen my focus to get a shot at the World title, if I pick up the Global title along the way that’s cool too.

So I'm looking forward to our match. The Best of Britain vs. the best of Germany! *He laughs at his own joke* Maybe Wells and a few others in the back can learn something from watching us go at it. And after I beat you, it will only bring me closer to the World title

-Gruber just walks off-

AI: Oh, okay then. Err, back to you guys then I guess

RG: Well that was a crap interview

*Herb punches Rich in the arm*

RG: Ow, you gave me a dead arm. What did you do that for?

HS: Moving on, next up we have our new Global Champion in action. He won the battle royal last week to be crowned the inaugural champion; can he continue his roll by defeating Carlos Ramon here tonight?

It’s the champ! ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KfJwXiElJKw )

RG: You know, although this guy outlasted 19 other guys to win this title, I really don’t think he’s proven to anybody that he deserves it.

HS: Rich that makes absolutely no sense

RG: Wait, here me out. This guy is yet to win a singles match here is EWA, all he has done is win a battle royal, but that is supposed to be a match all about luck. This is going to be his first real test

And his opponent, for the first and last time (because he quit) ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=02s5WSNpsSY&feature=youtu.be )

RG: Wait, this guy has quit?

HS: Yep, he quit before this show was even put together, but Robareid couldn’t be bothered to change it all

RG: So basically we’re jobbing him out?

HS: Yep, that’s it in a nutshell

RG: Okay, so much for this being Phenix’s first test


HS: Well, that went pretty much as expected

RG: I’ve always wanted to say this. Carlos, we wish you the best luck in your future endeavours.

HS: After that dominating win, Jack’s got the mic

JP: Wow, I mean this reaction right here makes this all worth it

*Fans Cheer loudly*

JP: The long days training, the days away from my family that right there is all worth it, to give back to fans means a lot and I will continue to give back to all of you each and every week and i will do it as EWAs first ever Global Champion!

*Fans cheer louder*

JP: And i intend to keep it like that for a long time to come so anybody who wants this belt will have to take it off of my cold, dead body because i aint never letting go of this. So whoevers ready get out here and lets entertain these fans right here.

RG: Be careful what you wish for Jack, because I hear that KiLLA is gunning for your title, and your wish may just come true

HS: That was actually quite good there Rich, I’m impressed. Right, next up we have a big announcement to make

RG: At our first PPV, Bloodbath, we will crown our inaugural tag team champions.

HS: Tonight we find out which of our great tag teams get the honour of being in that title match. The two qualifying matches are as follows, Il Cattivo vs. The Panzer Division and The Turnes vs. Two of a Kind.

12-02-2011, 11:45 AM
RG: Wow, there really is only one team who have a chance of winning this, and that is the indy sensations, Two of a Kind.

HS: What are you talking about Rich, all four of those teams have the talent to win this thing. TOAK may have had the most success in other companies, but the talent is there in all four teams. And two teams are going to prove that as a fact, as up next we have Il Cattivo vs. The Panzer Division.

RG: Like I said, irrelevant, neither of these teams will beat TOAK, but if I had to bet on one, I’d say the Panzers have this one.

Here comes Il Cattivo (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KTjJAM2dQk8)

Uliose: How ya doing EEEEEE-DoubleU-AAAAAYYYYY *HugePop* My name is Uliose right here next to me is my man Roberto and we are Il Cattivo. Now tonight we are goping to be entertaining you all with a match against the pansy division

Roberto: (Coughing for attention)

Uliose: Yes Bro

Roberto I think its Panzer Division Uli

Uliose: I was doing a play on words gees your such a wog *crowd laughs then chants you are a wog* Anywho for these who actually respect the Panzer Division well you’re going to see two of the greatest highflyers ever to embrace wrestling as their home

Roberto: And Pansy Division, you may be good but we are on a missi....

Uliose: Hey Hey Hey Hey.... hey whoah

Roberto: What?

Uliose: You can’t just insult my line then use it!!!

Roberto: Uliose I’m trying to cut a tough promo here

Uliose: I don’t care if you’re trying to cut your hair... actually yes i do cut it your style sux *more laughter now from the crowd*

Roberto: Can I finish?

Uliose: probably not but I’ll let you try

Roberto: Thank you anyway Prancer division

Uliose: now that’s a good one

Roberto: can you shut up please gees, Panzer division... We want Two Of A Kind in them finals and while you stand in our way you are enemys and tonight, well tonight we turn you into the plateau division cause your just gonna plateau your arse into oblivion

Uliose: Nice touch

Roberto: Cheers

RG: I can’t believe this team is even in the tag tournament. I guess they had to make up the numbers

HS: Il Cattivo may be a little unorthodox, but they are one of the hottest tag teams on the indies. I would love to see Cavito vs. TOAK, but first they will have to get through this team. The Panzer Division and they’re in the back with Ashley Ion right now.

AI: I'm here with Oli and Karl Panzer, guys, the winner of this match will go on to Bloodbath for a chance at being the first EWA Tag team Champions. What's on your mind heading into this match?

Karl: On our minds? Us Panzers let all of our action in the ring do our talking. We have no time for stupid interviews. Just line up teams for us to take down, that’s all we need. That’s what Oli and I have done our whole career, kick ass and collect titles all over the world. Il Cattivo doesn't mean shit to us. They just another victim, Right Oli?

Oli: Jawohl

Karl: Interview over bitch. Oli, let’s go crush those fuckers.

It’s the Panzer Division!

RG: At least these guys take wrestling seriously

HS: And this one is underway


HS: Wow, that one could have gone either way, but in the end, Il Cavito got the win

RG: Fluke, utter fluke

12-04-2011, 03:55 AM
HS: Right, now it’s time for some more singles action, up next it’s Michael Archangel vs. KiLLA

RG: This is a big match for both guys. KiLLA getting the win would really catapult him into the main event scene while Archangel needs this win just to match Kidd momentum wise

Speak of the… Angel? (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=orxTOGpyb1c&feature=player_embedded)

RG: And here comes Michael Archangel, ready for some in ring competition. He will have to have come prepared, as he’s facing KiLLA, who is no pushover

Michael Archangel makes his way down the ramp and grabs a mic

MA: So here I am. The number one contender for the EWA World Heavyweight Championship. This has been my dream for the last 3 years that I've been wrestling professionally. Not because I think I'm better than everyone but because I need to prove to myself I can hang with the big boys. So at Bloodbath Alex you and I face of and trust me I will be the next World Champion. A Champion with honor, respect and dignity. Alex prepare for the fight with the Archangel! *Crowd Pop*

HS: Yes, and this should be a very entertaining match, and I think that Archangel will definitely have the edge here tonight

RG: Of course you do, you always just pull for the good guys. You’re so biased!

HS: I’m not being bias; I’m speaking my mind

I wouldn’t want to meet this guy in a dark alley (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rRbJS7AYEvc)

RG: Here comes a real competitor, this KiLLA, is… well, a killer…. I think... but either way he has proven he can hang with the best and I can’t wait to see how this match goes right here

HS: He may be dangerous, but can he handle Michael Archangel in a wrestling match?

RG: Of course he can, he’s the KiLLA, he can go toe to toe with anyone in this business and come out on top


HS: And Archangel has emerged victorious here tonight, what a match and what a win for that man

RG: Yes I’ll give him that, he won fair and square, but KiLLA still put up one hell of a fight and one hell of a match here tonight for EWA Fury!

HS: We have to go to another commercial break now but when we come back it’s time for more tag team action

12-04-2011, 03:57 AM
RG: Right, now it’s time to see some real tag team excellence

HS: Yep, this should be a classic

RG: Are you crazy, this is going to be a walkover for Two of a Kind

Here they are (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C--gpM2BIW8)

MD: Ladies and gentleman *Loud you suck chants start* Hmmm hmmm Ladies and Gentleman * You sucks turn to a chorusful of boos* Nuff Nuffs and Morons you will listen to what TOAK how to say because firstly, you paid to see us *Nuff Nuff clap clap clap chants start* Secondly, We are going to become dual tag team champions whether you like it or not and thirdly well cos you got no choice so Shut Up and pay attention because the man with the moolah is about to speak

*Boos like we have never heard before are riverting around the stadium*

KW: You know what!!! i got nothing to say to this idiotic, insipid, lacklustre class of people others may refer to as EWA fans. *The record Boos just got beat* Im more important then all of you, im more important then the EWA management, Hell im more important and worth more then the whole EWA roster im outta here Paul finish these commoners off

*Crowd is going eratic and throwing shit as Kid Wonder leaves the rings and through the ramp to the back*

MD: Incase you have not quite picked up on this yet, we are not here to win your accolades, and we are not ghere to win your support we are here for the straps and the money, and hell we are facing nobodies tonight what are their names turnes? how do you even say that? Tur-nes? turns? hell it sounds like an award at athird rate awards ceremonies, And the winners of this years Tur-nes for the biggest overated tag team in all E-Fedding Il Cattivo *Paul Conrad gets on his knees and starts mimicing uliose*

I'd like to thank my turd of a brother who may be the only wrestler alive besides HOS who actually is a worse wrestler then me, id like to thank my mum for being stupid even to have sex with my dad twice and most of all id like to thank all of you people, because of your cheap laughs everytime i call Roberto a WOG, We wouldnt have a spot on the roster.

Back to Reality, you al know the place where all your lifes Suck and i am a champion and soon to be dual champion, im sick of talking to people that cant comprehend the english language, im outta here to, Tur-nes or turns or whoever the hell you are? tonight you find out my Two Of A Kind mean Business.

HS: Well they are certainly the must more successful team, but the Turnes could pull off a big upset today

RG: If Turnes win, I’ll buy everyone in this arena a drink

This arena is now depending on them for the next round of drinks (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9e5cqe_JE0Q)

HS: These guys may not be well known, but that could be their advantage

RG: Dream on Rich, you’re not getting that drink

LT: Wasson *name of place* *loud pop*. Last week, in our match - 2 of a Kind screwed us. We got told in the week that you said you won fairly, fairly my polka dotted Arse. Speaking of Arse's, yours will be even sorer after we're done with you, than Kid's Arse last night. This is our 1st organization we've been in and you screwed up our debut. You two have balls to mess around with us I give you that, it's a shame that they'll be whipped around the ring tonight.


-Conrad then lays out Rob with a big clothesline, and this one is underway-


HS: Well, the Turnes gave it their all but in the end TOAK were just too much for them

RG: I called it before this tournament started; Conrad & Wonder have these titles in the bag

HS: You may well be right Rich, but they are in for another big test at Bloodbath, when they take on Il Cattivo

12-04-2011, 04:06 AM
HS: And now it's time for our main event. We have two of EWA's biggest stars facing off, Hanz Gruber and Rob Rage

It's Rob Rage! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5HO8h-k_tNk)

RG: And here comes the most idiotic person on our roster. This guy was offered a guaranteed path to the top, and he turned it down

HS: If you're talking about him rejecting Croft's offer, then you are just plain wrong. Rob said he wanted to prove to the world that he can get to the top himself, and that’s why he's out here tonight taking on Hanz Gruber

Speak of the German (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N_r5ceKLoYQ)

RG: This guy took Michael to the limit last week. He's clearly going to just outsmart Rob, but then again, that's not that hard

HS: This one is underway


*Ignore ending*

RG: What a match this has been, back and forth all the way

HS: This one could literally go either way

As Herbie says that, Gruber nails Rage with a huge clothesline, turning Rob inside out

RG: Or it could be over right now!

One, two…

HS: No, only two, Rob kicked out! What a match these two are putting on for us!

Gruber gets up, noticeably frustrated that he hasn’t been able to put Rage away yet. He grabs Rob’s legs, and sets up the Sharpshooter

RG: Rob may have kicked out, but he’s only prolonging the inevitable. When Hanz locks this in, it’s over!

Just as Gruber is about to turn Rage over, Rob reverses it into a small package

One, two, kickout!

HS: Another kick out, what are these guys going to have to do to each other for the match to end, this is only a two hour show you know

RG: That was Rob’s last gasp, Hanz has this in the bag, and he has just been teaching Rob a lesson in technical wrestling since the beginning of this match

Both men are quickly back up to their feet, Hanz goes for another big clothesline, Rob ducks and… Superkick! Huge superkick from Rage to Gruber, but he is too exhausted to go for the cover

HS: You were saying Rich? Oh, what the hell is Gerald Smith and his butler doing out here? Wait, Rob’s crawled across for the cover. One, two… Nooo! Yet another kickout

Rob makes his way to his feet, picks up Gruber and motions for the end

Gerald tells motions towards the ring, and his Butler races down the ramp

Rage lifts Gruber up for the fisherman’s powerbomb he calls the Rage Bomb, but Brutus “the Butler” Smith grabs his legs, tripping him up, and pulls him out of the ring, then lays him out with a huge clothesline.

The ref calls for the bell, giving the DQ win to Rob

HS: What the hell are these guys doing? They just robbed us of the ending of one hell of a match. Now they are putting a beatdown on Rage.

RG: Rage should be thankful, they just gave him the win, there was no way he would have got it otherwise

HS: Oh shut up Rich, Rob was about to hit his signature manoeuvre

Smith picks up Rage, whips him into the barricade, then picks him up and throws him into the ring. Croft gets into the ring with him, and while Smith holds him up, smashes him with his cane repeatedly.

GC: You want to disrespect me? Who “can make it to the top all by himself” now, eh? Finish him Smith.

Smith turns him around, a hit Rage with this devastating powerbomb.


HS: This is disgusting

RC: He had it coming Herbie, you don’t disrespect a man like Croft and expect to get away unscathed

HS: Really, Rich, you think this was justified? Well, we’re out of time tonight, see you next week

12-11-2011, 12:54 PM
Filler post

The show is a 32 page word document in size twelve font, by far our longest

12-11-2011, 12:58 PM
Just a warning, my internet is really fucking up atm, so the show probably won't be posted too quickly

Right, excuses out of the way, on with the show

12-11-2011, 12:59 PM
EWA Fury Episode 4


EWA Fury Theme Song: Hollywood Undead “Young” (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ksq135WVHUo)

HS: Hello and welcome to EWA Fury. We’re live from Richmond, Virginia tonight. I’m Herbie Smith

RG: And I’m Rich Goldman. We have been told there is a huge announcement to be made, but neither of us has been told what it is, so we’re in the same position as you guys

HS: All we know is that it has huge implications for the future of EWA. I’m being told we need to cut to it right now, so here goes.

*The Elitron shows a live stream of a press conference. The cameras are flashing and the reporters are fidgeting around in their seats. A few of them are in a heated discussion in the back regarding what this “Huge Announcement” is. They all fall silent however, when a man dressed in a fully – tailored suit comes out the side door and makes his way to the podium in the corner of the room.*

Man – Greetings to you all, who are here in this room. As you will be aware by now, the EWA is holding this conference as it has a huge announcement. Today, Wednesday 30th November, EWA has been purchased by Mr. Alistair Mcgiven and his company “Boost”.

*The room gasps in shocks and the cameras start to flash again*

Mr. Mcgiven is here now and he has a few words to say regarding his recent acquisition.

*Mr. Mcgiven walks into the room and approaches the podium. He shakes hands with the man who is already there, who then leaves.*

Mr. Mcgiven – First off, I would like to thank you all for coming here and I appreciate the fact that it was at such short notice. Never the less, an announcement this big should not be held off for a couple of weeks, as it is one that will certainly shake EWA to its core.

Now, a lot of you will probably question my motives for purchasing EWA and I wouldn’t blame you. Despite “Boost” having its own Sports Drink, I have never shown any real interest in professional wrestling. However I have been a fan of professional wrestling, and of EWA, for quite a while now. There is nothing more I enjoy than sitting down, turning on Fury and watching Alex Kidd take on Michael The Archangle

*A reporter clears his throat loudly. Mr Mcgiven frowns and sighs*

Mr Mcgiven – Is there a problem?

Reporter – You do know that it’s Michael The Archangel right?

Mr Mcgiven – Does it matter?

Reporter – Well if you are to run EWA then I assume that…

Mrmcgiven – As far as I am concerned it doesn’t matter if I get his name wrong. I have enough money and power to change his name to Archangle. But I would like to pick up something you mentioned, that I will run EWA. Your statement is true in some parts, but I can inform you that I will not managing the day to day business of Fury. That job will be given to one of my boardroom members, Christopher Jackson

*Mr Mcgiven gestures towards the door and in walks Christopher Jackson. He has a huge grin on his face and looks very excited to be at the conference. He walks over to the podium and offers his hand to Mr Mcgiven to shake, but he doesn’t take it. Christopher slowly retracts his hand and swings it absently by his side*

Mr Mcgiven – Now… are there any questions?

*Several hands rise into the air and Mr Mcgiven chooses one*

Reporter – Mr Jackson, do you plan on making any changes to the current format of Fury?

*Christopher Jackson opens his mouth but Mr Mcgiven puts his hand across it*

Mr Mcgiven – In fact I have just realized that I have an important meeting to attend to, so I’m afraid that this is the end of this press conference. Don’t forget to tune into Bloodshower for the match between Alex Kidd and Michael The Archangle. I’m sure it will be… moderate…. I mean, Exciting!

*Mr Mcgiven leaves the room, pulling Christopher Jackson with him. The reporters stay sat in their seats, speechless*

RG: Wow what an announcement

HS: You got that right, new manageme-

RG: *Interrupting* New management! Oh shit, does that mean it may affect our employment status?

HS: I sure hope not Rich, I sure hope not. Far for me to point it out, but Mr. McGiven didn’t exactly seem, how should I put this… The most smarky guy. *muttering under his breath* so hopefully he won’t understand that term

RG: I know what you mean Herb, but the new GM Christopher Jackson seems to know what he is doing. I’m sure he will be the most fabulous GM

HS: Kissing his ass already? That’s got to be some sort of record; you haven’t even heard him speak yet. Right on with the show, we have some great matches scheduled for tonight, including two tag team rematches from last week, the debut of G-Scorp, our Global champion Jack Phenix giving an up and comer by the name of Brandon Medeiros a huge opportunity and finally, in our main event, the World Champion Alex Kidd teaming with Van Hooligan X against the number one contender Michael the Archangel and Ryan Wells

RG: We’re going to kick off the main part of this show with an interview with one quarter of that main event and a guy who certainly made an impact with his debut last week, Van Hooligan X!

12-11-2011, 01:00 PM
Ashley Ion: Hello EWA. I am joined again with Van Hooli-

Van: The pleasure is all yours I assure you.

Ashley Ion: Err...yeah...um...Well I have to ask you about last week. You made your debut against Ryan "The Freak" Wells with the match ending in your disqualification. So my question to you is: How does it feel to start your career off with a loss?

*Vans face quickly turns from the grin to a face of disbelief that she would ask such a question to himself. The best way to describe this face would be to ask Michael Cole if he enjoyed covering NXT Season 3.*

Van: You clearly don't know what comes out of your mouth when you flap your gums about do you. I'll admit that last week, Ryan Wells did indeed pick up the victory by DQ. But what you have completely missed is the facts that I was dominating from the very word go and after the match when I stood victoriously above him after the Cricket bat blows he suffered as I counted to 3 even though I could've counted into triple figures if I so wanted too.

Ashley Ion: I guess you're right. But aren't you worried that Wells will want to get even with you after this attack?

Van: If he knew what was good for him. He'd stay well awa--

*Suddenly Wells attacks Van and begins to scrap with Van, Ashley runs off to make sure she isn't caught up in the brawl*

Wells grabs VHX, and throws him into the wall, then levels him with a clothesline

RW: *Shouting at Wells* You think you can just attack me? No one attacks the freak and leaves walking!

As Wells shouts that, Hooligan gets up and gets on top of him with a double leg tackle. He then starts laying in several punches in on Wells until he turns it around and starts hitting back

This trade of the upper hand goes on for another minute, with neither wrestler getting a clear advantage. Then several members of security grab them and, with great effort, pull them apart.

RW: You’re lucky you got these pussies pulling us apart, you bastard!

VHX: Tough words from…

Suddenly Wells breaks free and nails Van with a huge forearm, before they are pulled back apart by security

HS: Wow, the physicality between these two guys is just huge. They’ll get an opportunity to unleash some of that aggression in the main event, where they will be competing on opposing teams

RG: I can’t wait for that one, Herb. Watching these two go at it is like watching two bulls charge headlong into each other.

HS: Err… yes, I guess you could say that Rich… Next up we have a segment from our very own resident psycho, KiLLA

RG: I love this guy!

KiLLA: Let me speak, talk, you hear and listen you ask question and I’ll give you the answer. There's no right or wrongs, its needs and wants. I Don't Need a title, I'm a KiLLA that's a powerful title in itself as in possession championship signifying a reign of being the best in the biz to hold a place in history intact showing the rest, exactly what you can accomplish. That's a want and I want the Global Championship. Which should be mine, I Deserve to Hold that Championship...

And if the bookers don't have me in line for one, then I guess someone’s life will be on the line. You see this will be by any means necessary and believe you me, a murder doesn't stop when blood is drawn, it when ur not alive and kickin!

Tonight You Will See Jack Phenis vs. *He turns to the cameraman and asks* who the hell is he facing?

CM: Brandon Medeiros


CM: Brandon Medeiros

K: Who the fuck is Brandon Meseiros, all this is doing is bringing the KILLA OUTTA ME!!! Who the hell is he! How does he even! Why would he get a shot, ...oh he gon get the real shot he deserves, bullets and I'm pullin and jackass phenis gon get bodied too, paperweight paper champ... And If Ya Got Any Heart...COME SEE KILLA!

RG: So intense, so tough, so brilliant…

HS: Okay, I’m far from a homophobe but fantasising over a brutal thug is a little weird don’t you think Rich?

RG: I’m not fantasising over him!

HS: Sure you’re not Rich… Moving on, our cameras are following the World Champ, Alex Kidd

Kidd walks into the Locker room to see Van Hooligan sorting out his wrestling attire and putting away his casual wear to one side. Kidd walks up to Van and Van stands up to look the champ right in the eyes.

Van: “Well if it isn’t the current EWA World Champion…To what do I owe for this “pleasurable” visit.

Alex Kidd: I’m guessing you haven’t heard then.

Van: Heard what?

Alex Kidd: Tonight’s main event is going to be a tag team between the 2 of us. Against Ryan “The Freak” Wells and Michael The Archangel *A loud pop can be heard when Alex Kidd says the number 1 contenders name*

Van: Hmm…Interesting. So you’re saying I’ve already made it into the main event after last week’s debut?

Alex Kidd: That’s not the point. The point tonight is I show everybody why I am the world champion and why I am the best in the company.

Van: *Van chuckles after hearing Alex’s last line.* Well let’s get through this easy tag team tonight so you can get to focus on your title defence. Plus it would be rather unfortunate if both Wells and the Arch angel were to beaten up to make it to Bloodbath. You get me?

Alex Kidd: Sounds good to me.

Van: Oh good. But just to make it clear. You’re looking at the best. *Van puts a finger on the title where it says ‘EWA World Champion’ until Alex Kidd pulls back a bit* Enjoy your time as champion. *Hooligan then has a big force unimpressed smile on his face* Whilst it lasts *Van commences to shoulder barge through Kidd to leave the locker room

Kidd seems to think about what he had just said to him. Alex then looked at his championship and dismissed his tag teams’ words and started to get ready for his match*

12-11-2011, 01:01 PM
HS: Well those two guys don’t exactly seem to be gelling too well

RG: Meh, minor differences, common goal. They will get the job done out there tonight, just you wait and see

HS: I’m not going anywhere. It’s time to get Hanz Gruber’s thoughts on what happened in the main event of last week

Hanz Gruber is backstage, with a cameraman following him

Suddenly, Rob Rage runs into camera shot and pushes Hanz up against a wall

RR: You think I’ll just forget what happened last week do you? You think you’re going to get away without a beatdown. Well you’re sorely mistaken. You told me that that match would be all athletic competition, and then you go get that knob head that has been following me around for weeks to get his big friend to come and blast me as soon as it looked like you were going to lose. Well actions have consequences!

Rob pulls back a hand to punch Hanz but with Rob’s grip now only being single handed, Hanz pushes him away

HG: Rob, you actually have the balls to think I had something to do with Croft and his goon getting involved in our match? I don’t need any fucking help to get it done in the ring. All I need is my fucking God given talent to get by; I think I proved that to you last week, that was until those two assholes got involved. Look, I have the upmost respect for you as I told you last week. What makes you think I was anything to do with that attack?

Rob looks at Gruber indecisively, not sure whether to lay him out or to apologize. After a couple of tense seconds, Rob calms down

RR: Yeh… You make sense, I’ll give you that. Sorry, but, well, it just looked bad if you know what I mean.

HG: Yes, I understand, it was the natural conclusion to reach

RR: Sorry then. How about at Bloodbath, you and me? We’ll finally find out who the better man is, because after I find Croft, he won’t be interfering in anymore of our match, mark my bleeding word

HG: You’re on, see you there

Rob then walks off. Hanz relaxes and smartens himself up, before following after Rage

RG: Rage needs to be put in jail. You just can’t go around assaulting people and hurling untruthful accusation at them

HS: I don’t know what you’re problem is with Rob, but you’re just making yourself look like an ass. Yes, Rob is a hothead, but it wasn’t the most illogical conclusion to come to after he got assaulted during his match last week just before he was about to get the win

HS: Right, next up we have some tag action. The Turnes are taking on Two of a Kind for the third time in as many weeks

RG: And yet again, we are going to get the same result. The booking committee is pretty shit around here, aren’t they?

HS: I like my job, so I’m not going to answer that one. It’s make or break time for the Turnes, another loss and they it will be a mountain for them to climb to get back into title contention. Let’s take it to outside the arena where we can hear their pre match comments.

*The Turnes are walking into the arena while signing autographs to all the fans*

LT: Hello everyone, how you doing. If you don't know us, we are the Turnes. 2 people that do know us though, are Two of a Kind. Listen you 2 cock sucking, arse fucking bastards, for the past 2 weeks we've had matches with you and both of the times, we got screwed. We got screwed worse than Bret Hart, worse than EWA when the majority of the backstage crew bailed out for 1 reason or another.

*Both sign autographs and continue walking*

LT: After we beat you and kick your arse all the way round the greatest city in the world Richmond, Virginia! We want a title shot. Everyone here knows that we're the most entertaining, the most charismatic, the most exciting tag team in ALLLLLLLLL of EWA. Yes we're young, yes we're new, yes EWA is our 1st and only promotion but does anyone here actually give 2 shits about any of that crap.

RT: Hell no you 2 son of a bitches

LT: We want to win, we want the titles, but not for us, for the crowd, so they don't have to listen to you 2 moaning about every frigging thing in this hell of a world. And if you try screwing us AGAIN, well then we will make your arse hurt more than Kids arse last night

RT: Now, if you'll excuse us, we've got some work to do, right here in front of some fans who are more awesome than the Miz himself

The Turnes continue to sign some more stuff for the EWA fans, when suddenly the Panzers run at them laying them out with big double axe handle blows. Oli gets on top of Rob Turne, and begins to ground and pound on him while Karl pulls Luke’s hair and repeatedly throws him into the side of the building

Rob manages to turn over Oli Panzer and begins to pummel the German with a few fists of his own. He then disentangles from his assailant and makes his way to his feet before being speared brutally by Karl

Karl then picks up Rob Turne and holds his arms behind his back while Oli lays some blows into the midsection of him. After several seconds of this, Karl releases him and Oli picks up Rob and hits a body slam onto the concrete outside the arena.

While that was happening, Luke Turne has made his way to his feet with the assistance of the arena wall. The Panzer Division spot this, and charge Luke, crushing his skull between the wall and their boots by hitting a devastating double big boot combination that they call Guten Nacht

Both Panzers survey the wreckage which they have created, and smile to each other, before walking away into the arena

12-11-2011, 01:01 PM
HS: Oh my god, somebody needs to get some medical attention out there, the Turnes look seriously hurt! That was vicious

RG: Wow your right… And they were scheduled to take of Two of a Kind next, but after seeing that, I don’t see it happening. Well, I guess that puts us down to four matches tonight.

*APA theme drowns out the crowd as Two of a Kind makes their way to the ring* (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C--gpM2BIW8)

HS: Well these two were scheduled to take on The Turnes, but I don’t see that happening now

RG: Would have been a crap match anyway, everyone knows what he result would have been

KW: shhhh shhh shhhhhhhh….. Let’s keep the boos to a minimum please *Boos get Louder*Please guys just a little quieter *Louder boos* SHUT UP!!!!! Now listen here and listen good, last week once again turnes or whoever the hell they are failed to leave a dint in the TOAK armor, so now we are of course the No 1 contenders to the EWA world tag team titles at bloodbath.

MD: Its funny in such a sad way that the PPV is named Bloodbath because that’s exactly what happened to turnes last week and that’s exactly whats going to happen to il cattivo Sunday. Il Cattivo they say be careful what you wish for or something like that, well you didn’t heed that advice did you no, not at all, you instead demanded to join this tournament just so you could get a Main Event championship match against us and somehow prove that the students have out learnt the masters.

Uhhh ah wrong, now we are impressed you on the whole of one match against the panzer division to get your dream match but it’s going to turn into a nightmare because we are the premiere tag team not just here but everywhere and at Bloodbath we continue our road of total annihilation by becoming Dual World Tag Team Champions. *you suck chants start right about…. Now*

KW: Now unlike other companies I have respect for the EWA Management because I personally spoke to them about the tag team division and they listened and established it and just like we did at the AWF, we are going to become your first and forever more EWA tag team champions. And management have also done us another favour by giving us a warm up match before our title win at bloodbath by giving the Turnes a rematch they will never forget you see, tonight we show why we are truly the greatest E-Feddding team today by taking care of the trash before collection day Sunday because we are Two Of A Kind and we mean business

HS: Well, TOAK aren’t lacking any confidence going into the tournament final

RG: And why would they be? They know they are going to be the fresher team, due to the fact that their opponents had a mishap before this match. They are the more experienced team; they have had more big match experience. They have all the advantages, what could possibly go wrong.

HS: Two words Rich, Il Cattivo

12-11-2011, 01:31 PM
RG: Next up we have our Global Champion Jack Phenix taking on Brandon Medeiros, whoever the fuck he is

HS: Oh shut up Rich, he’s an up and comer with a huge upside. I see big things for him here in EWA. We’re going to go to the back and get Medeiros’ pre-match comments

*Brandon Medeiros is show backstage with Ashley Ion*

AI: Hi I’m here with EWA rookie Brandon Medeiros, Brandon what do you think about your upcoming match with EWA's Global Champion?

BM: It's an honor to face the "Global Champion" Jack Phoenix. The "Global Champion" has chosen me to face him and I have no clue why.....But he has shown me respect with this match and trust me I will not let it slip thru my fingers I’ve been givin a chance...the first title match in my career and it will be MY time here in the EWA to shine...I’ve been fighting my whole life and i'm not stopping now...I promise you that.

*Brandon Medeiros walks away from the Interview*

RG: Well that was shit… Now let’s see the champ’s comments

A camera is following Phenix as he makes his way towards the ring

JP: Well Tonight i face a kid called Brandon Medeiros. I dont know alot about you dude but this is your chance to prove to me you deserve a shot at the title i say it all the time anybody wants my title they have to prove to me they deserve it, Brandon take your shot because these things dont happen everyday

Speaking of oppertunitys, Killa, you seem to think you deserve one, well thats not up to you is it. You need to prove it in the ring, not backstage blabbering sayin youru gonna 'murder me' well dude i dont back down from a fight infact i encourage you to face me. Man to Man. Then we’ll see whose best.

As the word “best” leaves Phenix’s lips, he is blasted from behind by KiLLA, knocking him to the floor. He then mounts him and rains down the punches on him, busting him open

KiLLA then lifts Phenix to his feet but Phenix starts fighting back with some vicious kicks. He then hits his assailent with a big dropkick which sends him sprawling through the curtain and onto the stage

Phenix follows him out there, but as he is pulling him to his feet KiLLA grabs his trunks and pulls him off the stage, causing him to fall hard down onto the concrete floor below

HS: Oh my god, did you see that fall, Phenix could be seriously injured

RG: Well he’s the KiLLA, only being seriously injured after an attack from him is lucky

HS: I wouldn’t be so sure Rich, he doesn’t look like he’s finished

KiLLA starts to walk down the ramp, going after Phenix but Brandon Medeiros runs down the ramp and jumps on him, putting him in a sleeper

RG: What the hell is this guy doing out here? He is absolutely nothing to do with any of this

HS: Phenix gave him his big shot here tonight, and KiLLA took that away from him with his attack on the champ. He’s obviously pissed off, but I’m not sure if this is too good an idea

KiLLA staggers down the ramp with Medeiros still on his back before running backwards into the ring post, forcing Medeiros to release the sleeper.

RG: Now he’s in for it!

KiLLA staggers over to the barrier, using it to support himself while Medeiros makes his way back to his feet after getting his spine crushed between KiLLA and a steel pole

Medeiros charges at KiLLA, wanting to keep the upper hand but is met by a chair shot from KiLLA who had just grabbed it from over the barrier where one of the audience members was sitting

HS: I hate to agree with you Rich, but it doesn’t look good for Brandon right now, not one bit

Phenix, blood dripping from his face, has made his way to his feet, and charges at KiLLA

KiLLA ducks a clothesline from Phenix and blasts Phenix with a chair shot to the head, leveling him

RG: What a stupid dick. He should have run away while KiLLA was distracted by Medeiros, but no, he had to play the hero, and no he is going to pay for it

KiLLA drags both Phenix and Medeiros up the ramp, back onto the stage, and puts Medeiros’ head between his legs
He makes a cut throat gesture, before picking him up and… JACKKNIFE POWERBOMBS HIM OFF THE STAGE!!!!

HS: Oh my god, he just Jackknife powerbombed him, a move that is leathal enough on its own, but combined it with about a ten foot drop onto concrete! We need some medics out here!

RG: I think we all just found out that KiLLA isn’t just a nickname for this guy

KiLLA then picks up Phenix as well, sticks his head between his legs and again does his cut throat gesture

HS: No, not again!

KiLLA looks as if he is going to hit another Jackknife powerbomb off the stage, but then suddenly lets go of Phenix, letting him slump to the floor

He then walks back through the curtain, and returns with a mic in hand and Phenix’s global title over his shoulder

K: It’s your lucky day Phenix; I’ve decided not to kill you… today. You’ve got something I want, so I’m letting you still breathe until I’ve taken that from you! Bloodbath, you will face me for this title, or there will be some serious consequences

RG: Wow, that Phenix is a lucky man. Brandon… not so

HS: You’re damn right Rich, you’re damn right. Will Phenix accept the challenge? Who knows, what I do know now though is we’ve got to take another commercial break

12-11-2011, 01:35 PM
*We come back from commercial and we see Jack Johnson in the ring ready for competition*

G-SCORP (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UFXZRvezoNQ)

RG: And here comes G Scorp down to the ring and this is someone that I’m really starting to like and I’m glad to see him here in EWA

HS: I have to agree he has been very impressive of late and it looks like we’ll be getting a chance to see that on display here tonight on Fury


RG: And Scorp picks up a good victory here tonight but, to be fair, Jack Johnson put up a fight

HS: Yes but in the end Scorp was able to pull it off and is now able to celebrate the victory

RG: We’ve heard from one half of our main event already, now it’s time to hear from our number one contender and his partner

*Michael walks into the gym where Ryan Wells is seen doing bench presses at least benching 600lbs and is struggling on his last rep when Michael goes to spot for him*

Ryan: Woo! Great workout! So Michael what's up?

Michael: Well since we are teaming up for the first I just wanted to check in with you. Listen I always have my guard up and don't trust many people but I want you to know that I have your back if you have mine. I don't know much Van but my brother HolyJose (small pop from the crowd hearing the name) who runs AWF knows Alex all too well and told me he is a conniving little sneak who will do anything to win. Ryan I know you're a powerhouse and I know together we can easily take on Alex and Van but we need to be on the same page. What do you say?

Ryan Wells: Michael you're in the spot I want and I know I deserve the Number One contendership but you won that fair and square and I respect that. Van is a sneaky little German son of a bitch and I agree on Alex. Michael in this business it's a trust few people kind of deal and I don't blame you coming to see if I have your back which I will. But know this when you win that world title. You're on my list and I'll be coming after you but for now let's go kick those two little bastards asses!

*Michael and Ryan shake hands out of mural respect and agreement and head out to prepare for their match*

HS: These guys seem to be on the same page, at least more so than Kidd & Hooligan

RG: They’ll still lose. Right next up, in only our second match of the night so far, we have some tag action. Straight off the brutal attack they conducted on The Turnes, The Panzer Division take on the other half of our Tag Title match, Il Cattivo

HS: And this should be a fantastic match. Last week, Il Cattivo got the upper hand and qualified for the title match, but this week The Panzer Division is out for revenge, and if the attack earlier tonight is anything to go off, they’re on fire!

Here come the Panzers!

RG: Wow, from just the looks on these guys’ faces, you can tell they mean business. Il Cattivo have their work cut out for them

HS: You’re right Rich, for a change, but Il Cattivo did it last week, so what’s to say they can’t do it again

RG: Lightening doesn’t strike twice Herb

Here comes those Italians ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Jl7-B7VFLs )

HS: With these guys, anything is possible. If I was a betting man, I’d say these guys will win the title at Bloodbath

RG: That’s why you’re not a betting man Herb, cos you’d be broke. TOAK all the way!

HS: And this one is underway!


*watch up to 6:20*

As Uliose climbs to the top rope, Two of a Kind run down the ramp, and as he is about to dive off onto Oli Panzer, Kid Wonder pushes him off making him land on top of the barricade

The ref immediately calls for the bell giving Il Cattivo the DQ win. Paul Conrad then pulls Roberto off the apron and irish whips him into the steel steps

Pissed off the TOAK cost them the match, both Panzers exit the ring and take out Kid Wonder with a double clothesline. Oli then begins to pound on Uliose, while Conrad and Karl brawl

Oli rolls Uliose into the ring, whips him into the ropes and takes him out with a big boot. All of a sudden The Turnes run down the ramp and hit Oli with a double springboard dropkick.

Karl Panzer, Paul Conrad, Kid Wonder and Roberto Pamich all roll into the ring and all eight men brawl

It’s the new GM! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OAPAfZMmCIk)

*The GM Christopher Jackson walks out, shaking his head. Around 20 security members rush the ring and separate the four tag teams*

CJ: No, no, no.... we can't be having this now, can we? This is not how a match should end. Obviously I'm a man of the people, so I'm gonna give the people what they want. So at Bloodbath, it's gonna be The Turnes taking on The Panzer Division... for the number one contendership for the EWA Tag Team Championship! And if that's not enough for you... then I have nothing else to offer to be honest. Seriously, that's all I can come up with! See ya in a bit everybody!

RG: Wow, what a great decision by our GM, we need all the matches we can in EWA, the rate that we lose them

HS: Rich, we’ve only lost two… I agree though, a great snap decision there by the GM, and it should result in a great match

12-11-2011, 01:39 PM
RG: It’s now time for yet another first for-

Brian Ryan: At this time we have the very first contract signing in EWA history! Introducing first the challenger he is Michael the Archangel and next he is the EWA World Heavyweight Champion Alex Kidd!

RG: What the fuck Brian, interrupting me, really? Come on, fire him, get a new announcer

*Alex Kidd and Michael The Archangel are sitting across from each other at the contract signing when Michael grabs the microphone*

Michael: this is the very opportunity I've been working for my whole life. To prove I am the best in the company. Alex your reign is nothing but a fluke you don't deserve that title you don't wear it with honor that belt belongs around the waist of a true man a true champion. Myself! Everyone doubted me by no more come Bloodbath the world title is mine mark my words! The same way I locked away Satan all those years ago I'll lock away Alex Kidd and his false reign!

*Michael picks up the pen and signs the contract and throws the mic down*

Alex Kidd: Ok first of all don´t add religion to these matter because i don´t have any evil in my blood even if you don´t believe it. You don´t have to believe it but as for you beating me at bloodbath, I hope you are joking because it is not gonna happen. You also say this is your opportunity you waited for your whole life well I didn´t have to wait my whole life I did it the first week I came here and I intend to keep this championship and never lose so at bloodbath you are not going to have an easy opponent you will have the best in this company to deal with.

-Michael looks like doesn´t agree

KIDD: you don´t believe me? Well now I have to prove it to you now don´t I?

*Alex Kidd hits Michael over the head with the mic and just starts to beat down on him. He goes out and picks up a chair and is now beating Michael senselessly who has been busted open Alex then hits his finishing move pulls out a speci sharp pen digs deep into Michael's already cut forehead and signs the contract with Michael's blood and holds the EWA World Heavyweight Championship up high while standing over a bloodied Michael the Archangel*

HS: Oh my god. Why, just why?

RG: He got disrespected by Archangel, and he made him pay the price

HS: You amaze me Rich, you really do…

RG: Why thank you, one tries. Right, after that contract signing I think now is as good a time as ever to have a roundup of the match card for Bloodbath

HS: Let’s start with the tag division. First, we have a match for the number one contendership for the tag titles, where the Turnes will be facing the Panzer Division. There is a lot of animosity between these two teams, after the attack earlier tonight as well as the brawl

RG: Our other tag team matchup is the finals of a tournament to crown the inaugural tag champs. It puts Il Cattivo up against Two of a Kind in a match that will really show the tag team excellence of EWA.

HS: Moving onto the Global title division, which I’m just getting through my earpiece that will be called the Fury TV Title from now on to avoid confusion with the World title.

RG: The Glob… I mean TV champ Jack Phenix doesn’t have a definitive match set on the card yet, but KiLLA has sent out a challenge which I expect Phenix will respond to at the PPV itself

HS: That’s it for the TV title division then. Or not, apparently, our new GM has just made a triple threat match for the number one contendership for the TV title. The competitors will be G-Scorp, H.O.S. and Douglas Blake. That looks like an interesting match with big implications on the TV title picture

RG: Right, now onto the World title division. Ryan Wells will be taking on Van Hooligan X in a rematch from last week’s Fury. What a physical match I expect that to be.

HS: Then we have a match that was made earlier tonight; Hanz Gruber will be taking on Rob Rage in another rematch from last week’s Fury. Hopefully we will get a proper ending this time without Croft and his Butler ruining it.

RG: How many times Herbie, he deserved it. That leaves on last match, our main event between Michael the Archangel and the Champion Alex Kidd for the EWA World Title. What a match that should be.

HS: So that’s the card. Should be a great event, make sure you tune in (or just read, take your pick)

12-11-2011, 01:52 PM
RG: We now have some time from the most sophisticated guy on the roster. The highly esteemed Gerald Croft

Gerald Croft is in the interviewing area, accompanied by his butler Brutus Smith alongside Ashley Ion. They are both wearing smart suits and Gerald has an extremely smug look on his face

AI: Last week you ordered your Butler to attack Rob Rage during his match. Do you have any justification?

GC: Well my dear, it’s quite simple. He disrespected me. It was nothing personal, but I can’t have people going around and doing that, now can I? I offered him, on numerous occasions I might add, the once in a lifetime opportunity to join Crofts Limited. And what does he do? He not only rejects my offer but he also had the nerve to insult me. Well he soon found out that it is not wise to make an enemy out of me, did he not?

At that moment Rob runs into the and takes Smith down. Rob begins to lay in some left and rights but Smith begins to fire back with several punches of his own, with neither man backing down. Smith manages to get Rob off of him and they both make their way to their feet. The 6’8” butler lets loose a huge left hook in the direction of Rob but he manages to duck, and then blasts Brutus with a swift kick to the nuts leaving him riving in pain.

Rob then turns his attention towards Croft, who is cowering in the corner of the interview area, looking for a way out

RR: Nowhere to run nowhere to hide now Croft

As he takes another step towards Croft, Hanz Gruber appears from behind him and launches himself at him with a big elbow strike to the back of his head, knocking Rob to the floor.

Croft then gets up from his cowering, and begins to lay the boots into Rage. Hanz picks him up; holding his arms behind him, and Gerald grabs his cane and begins laying in the shots.

Brutus has now got up, and Hanz pushes Rob towards him, and he meets him with a big boot

Hanz Gruber then picks his limp body up, and hits him with one of his finishers, the side slam backbreaker

Hanz: *yelling into the camera* Ha ha, silly Rob, you are such a fucking idiot. All this between us was not about respect. I couldn’t care less about fucking respect. All I care about is getting the EWA world title and I will get it any way I can. You say you are the Best of British? Ha. The best of British were the British Bulldogs, one of them, Davey Boy Smith, is dead, the other, the Dynamite Kid- Tom Billington can’t even walk anymore. And you know what, Billington could still beat your ass from his wheelchair at any time, any day.

*the crowd is booing*

Hanz: Like I said, I am gonna do what I have to do to make it to the top no matter what. That’s why I took up Croft’s offer and with his help, I will get there. He has already informed me that the set up a match with Rob at the Bloodbath PPV will be for the number one contender spot for the World Title, that’s of course if Rob can still make it there. If anybody else has a problem with that, they will end up like poor Rob here.

*Croft swings the camera in Rob’s direction; Smith is still beating him down*

*Hanz motions Smith to stop, takes the camera from Croft then grabs Rob by the head*

Hanz: Respect This! *smashes the camera in Rob’s face, then walks away with Croft and Smith

RG: Yes! Two of my absolute favorite guys, now allies. I must be dreaming

HS: I can’t believe this. Why Hanz? Why choose the dark side?

RG: Because he wants to be successful

HS: Hanz has all the talent in the world

RG: Exactly, so now that it’s twinned with Croft’s genius nothing can stop him

HS: That wasn’t my point. My point was he doesn’t need somebody like Croft, all he needs is his god given talent. What had Rob done to him that deserved that attack?

RG: That’s an easy one. He disrespected Croft

HS: They weren’t even associated at that point

RG: You don’t know that

12-11-2011, 01:54 PM
HS: Right, whatever, arguing with you is clearly pointless. Now it’s time for our big tag team main event. Our World Champion Alex Kidd is teaming with Van Hooligan X to take on the number one contender for his title, Michael Archangel and Ryan “The Freak” Wells

RG: This should be a great match. Four of the best EWA has to offer, giving it their all. The winning team’s members will have a hell of a lot of momentum going into Bloodbath

It’s the return of the Freak! (Although he never left storyline wise) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QuzDghzyVjk)

HS: Did you see the weights this guy was lifting? Holy shit I wouldn’t want to be in Van Hooligan’s shoes

And his partner, the least well known of the Jose brothers (What a woman their mother must have been) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=omuYo49_SOQ)

HS: And here comes the number one contender. I’m not sure if this guy should even be able to compete. Look at him, the blood is still flowing after the champ stabbed him earlier tonight

Here is the World Champ! (Or Mr. AWOL as he is now being referred to) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9SKFwtgUJHs&feature=player_embedded)

RG: Our World Champion has been extremely impressive here in EWA. The best champion EWA could ever have hoped for

HS: What are you talking about, he stabbed somebody earlier tonight, he should be in jail not representing our company

Van to the Hooligan with an added bit of X (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g2eHh4GcJMQ)

HS: This guy may not have the best win loss record so far, but I sure as hell wouldn’t want to be facing him. If his fights with Wells are anything to go by, this is going to be a brawl


*ignore after 9:30 (and Christian)*

HS: Kidd and Hooligan are stomping a mudhole in Wells, and they’re walking it dry. I’ve always wanted to say that

Van Hooligan picks Wells up while Kidd backs off a bit and VHX whips him towards Kidd

Alex Kidd goes for a dropkick, but Wells ducks slightly, continues running and catches him in mid-air and hits a powerslam

HS: Wow, what a move from Wells, now it’s back to a one on one between Wells and Hooligan

Wells charges at Hooligan in the corner but Hooligan moves out the way, causing wells to run straight into the turnbuckle

Unbeknownst to Van Hooligan, Archangel has made his way back to his corner by this point and gets the blind tag but doesn’t enter the ring just yet

As Wells staggers back after hitting the pads, Van hits a huge Vanguard


He goes for the pin, but the ref refuses to count so VHX gets up and begins arguing with him. Michael chooses this moment to come into the ring and he rolls up VHX




VHX kicks out a split second too late. Archangel starts celebrating while Van just sits there with an expression of complete disbelief on his face

HS: That’s a huge win for Wells and Archangel; they both now have huge momentum going into Bloodbath.

RG: It’s a cheap win Herb. They got lucky, but it won’t happen twice.

Kidd walks up to Archangel from behind, turns him around and slaps him right across the face before bailing from the ring and running up the ramp with Archangel in hot pursuit

HS: Ouch, what a complete show of disrespect. I’m not sure how wise that was, even if he does manage to get away from him now, he still has to face him on Wednesday at Bloodbath

RG: It’s called getting into your opponents head. You really should know these things as a wrestling commentator

Wells has now, with the aid of the ring ropes, managed to get back to his feet, but he is still stunned

Hooligan looks at him with an expression of disgust all over his face, and gets to his feet and hits him with a second Vanguard

HS: Now this isn’t necessary. Yes you lost the match, go away and strategize so you don’t lose again

RG: Look Herbie, you clearly aren’t fit for this job, so I’m going to have to correct you. Any good wrestling commentator should know that when somebody disrespects you, like what Archangel did to Hooligan, it is the unwritten law to then attack them. Now since Archangel has gone and run away like a complete pussy, the only logical person left to beat down is Wells as he was Archangel’s partner.

HS: Do you deliberately talk out your arse or were you born that way, because the shit is really flowing today

VHX then leaves the ring and pulls a table from under the ring and slides it into the ring

HS: Oh so now I expect that putting Wells through the table is somehow justice

RG: How do you know that’s what Hooligan’s going to do?

Hooligan sets up the table, then turns to Wells, and drags him towards the table, but the table collapses itself

VHX: Fucking collapsible tables!

He sets it up again and turns round…

Freak Attack through the table!!!!!!

HS: Wow! That was huge! Out of nowhere Wells got up and picked up Hooligan and hit him with a choke bomb straight through the table! That was great!

RG: You hypocrite

HS: I know, annoying isn’t it?

Wells stands over Hooligan, who is writhing in pain between the remnants of the table. He stands over him, much like Hooligan did last week, and counts the 1, 2, 3

HS: That’s all we have time for tonight, make sure you tune in this Wednesday to Bloodbath; you don’t want to miss it

12-18-2011, 02:53 PM
Just a filler

12-18-2011, 02:54 PM
EWA Bloodbath!


Pyro goes off and the official Bloodbath theme Disposable Teens (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GKkiCFOE-Ic) plays throughout the arena

RG: Hello and welcome to EWA Bloodbath, live (well, a bit late) from Steelers country, Pittsburgh Pennsylvania.

HS: And do we have a stacked card for you tonight! Not only do we have seven huge matches but I’ve been informed that we also have yet another huge announcement for all you fans.

RG: Yep, that’s right, another huge announcement. I doubt it will top the huge announcement from last week’s Fury, where we found out that EWA is under new ownership, but we’ll have to see

HS: Right, on with the show! First up we have a triple threat match for the number one contendership, where will introduce three new wrestlers to Fury

Here’s the first of the trio, Douglas Blake! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PGVyenDWVfc)

A big guy, by the name of Douglas Blake makes his way down to the ring, mic in hand. A fan goes to touch him on the way towards the ring but he pushes the fan away and gives him the middle finger

The crowd begins to boo the shit out of him, but he just smiles and gets into the ring

DB: Silence you pathetic pieces of scum! My name is Douglas Blake and you all will do well to remember that. Now I have no interest in talking to you walking maggots nor do I have any interest in making friends here. My only goal is to inflict as much pain as possible on every man who chooses to step in the ring with me. Just because the bell rings to end the match doesn't mean the beating I'm giving you will end. As long as I can still see you the beating will continue. I don't care if it’s in the ring, the locker room or the parking lot the beating will continue!

HS: Well, this guy has made a great first impression with the fans

RG: I love him, I love him already!

Next out, the High Octane Superstar, Henry Ormond Stevens (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u8isKsULUNo)

HOS: Hey yall, how you all doing and welcome to BLOOOOOOD BAAAAAATH

*crowd is going nuts*

HOS: I am Henry Ormond Stevens, better known as the Higher Octane Superstar, HOS and tonight i am going to electrify this arena with that much energy that NASA are gonna try and harness it for another space flight….

*few cheap laughs*

HOS: Now it’s been a bit of a slow start for me on EWA, but I plan on kicking up a gear tonight as I establish myself as a true superstar of the Elite Wrestling Alliance and look to become CHAMPION

*Crowd roars*

HOS: So onto tonight, my first PPV in the EEEEE-DoubleU-AAAAAAA *crowd erupts and are really behind HOS now* I have been put in a tough triple threat match with two formidable opponents which is really going to….

SCORP theme plays as the ever arrogant scorpster comes into the ring (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cBqT3CoXoDM)

GS: HOS, HOS, HOOOOS, please do not say what I think you were about to say in which this triple threat match is going to be a true test for you.

You have never been in a triple threat match have you? NO, so you don’t know what it takes to win such a match whereas I have never lost a triple threat match and mine have involved former champions, I am a former longest reigning champion HOS, something you would know nothing about

HOS: Well Gees Scorp you seem a little pissed bro whats the matter, Mummy didn’t turn the lights out last night

GS: Its G-Scorp to you, and yeah I am pissed off big time because apparently, I’ve been asked yet again to reintroduce myself to you worthless vermin who honestly would be better of saving your money you wasted on this ticket and buying the PPV and eat your hourly feed of maccas or Hungry Jacks or whatever the hell the latest craze in Fattertainment is….

*Crowd are booing the Phuck out of the G-Ster*

GS: Can I be brutally honest for a moment? Of course I can this is the G-PPV, you are not worthy of such a high calibre talent performing for you worthless pieces of crap, which is why management have put me in a warm up match tonight against you HOS and whoever the hell the third opponent is I’ve never heard of him.

*crowd chants scorp is a loser*

GS: No Scorp is a Winner and tonight he is going to win and hes going to keep winning until he is the GLOBAL CHAMPION, because when you act like a bitch the top dog bites and if you don’t like that then...

*SMACK… HOS hits Scorp with the microphone and the crowds erupts*

HOS: sorry scorpster were you about to say then bring it….. ohh no that’s right ill finish your cheesy end line for you

*HOS Pulls a mad G-Scorp face then says in a kiddy tone*


G-Scorp tackles HOS and this one is underway

*Start watching from 2:47*


*Ignore post 12:40*

G-Scorp slips off of HOS’ shoulders, and pushes him into Blake and they knock heads, knocking Blake off the apron

G-Scorp then slides up behind him and rolls him up

1, 2, 3 – Heel rollup pin for the win!!!!!!!

Scorp bails from the ring and walks back down the ramp, gloating, while H.O.S. is left in the ring, fuming

RG: Yes! Scorp wins, Scorp wins!

HS: Well yes… A cheap win, but a win none the less

12-18-2011, 02:55 PM
RG: Next up we have the number one contenders matchup for the tag titles between The Turnes and the Panzer Division

HS: We’re now going to hand over to Ashley, who has the Panzers alongside her back at the interview area

Ashley Ion: I am here with Karl and Oli Panzer. You both have a number one contenders match for the EWA World Tag team belts tonight here on Bloodbath and it’s against The Turnes: can you explain why you attacked them last week on Fury?

*Karl grabs the mic from Ashley and she takes a few steps back.

Karl: Well its simple, those two punks had too many chances to getting a contenders match. They wrestled Two of a Kind 3 weeks in a row and came up as losers every time. Then they bitch and moan that they got screwed. Then somehow they get yet another chance. Well we just took it upon ourselves to take them out of action before they got that chance. We wanted to end their careers. Seeing them in action is a fucking joke. They don't belong in this sport, so we were just doing EWA viewers a favour; we were doing EWA management a favour. Hell we were doing the whole fucking world a favour.

Oli: Unfortunately, we did not bash their heads in enough, so their ugly fucking mugs are still around. And they will still stink up the ring with their wrestling.

Karl: Then last week our new GM made a match with us fighting The Turnes in what, their 4th attempt to be contenders for tonight on Bloodbath. How the fucks do they deserve that? TELL ME, HOW THE FUCK DO THEY DESERVE THAT?

Oli: Relax Karl. We will do what we do best: Kick Ass and Take Names. The Turnes are nothing but pussies- they have not proved shit to anyone, anywhere. We have fought the best around the world, we have beat the best around the world. We have also done one thing The Turnes have not been able to do. We do have a win over Two of a Kind - not in EWA, but in HWA. So once we get through with the Turds tonight, we will be going after the winners of the tag belts because we are the rightful number one contenders. The Turnes will be history after tonight.

*Karl throws the mic back to Ashley and the Panzers head to the ring*

They’ve now got a theme! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Zym9N-I5F4)

RG: I really like this team.

HS: You like all the heels Rich

RG: What the fuck is a heel?

HS: Dick

And here comes The Turnes (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9e5cqe_JE0Q)

HS: Now these guys have something to prove, two losses in a row against TOAK, and last week they got taken out by the Panzers. They need something to fall their way

RG: Meh, jobbers for life


HS: Turnes win! Turnes win!

RG: Ah, shit. Well I guess if you give enough monkeys enough paintbrushes

HS: Then they will become number one contenders for the tag team championship!

RG: Oh please god, please let TOAK win, I don’t think I can sit through Turnes vs. Cattivo

12-18-2011, 02:56 PM
HS: Right, it’s now time for our big announcement. Here we go; I’m expecting a huge explosion

*Christopher Jackson walks to the ring, dressed in a fancy suit. The crowd is pleased to see him and the crowd are jostling to shake his hand. When he gets in the ring, he grabs a microphone and waves to the crowd in attendance*

CJ: Hey everybody! Glad that your all here! I'm assuming that you've all heard that I've got a big announcement to make, and I'm proud to announce that there will be a new brand debuting! You see, Fury's becoming a bit too crowded recently what with all the new talent joining, so I suggested to Mr Mcgiven that we have a new brand. To be honest, he just shook his head and waved his hand... but I'm taking that as a yes anyway! It's gonna be called... PAIN! And believe me, that's what I know you all wanna see!

Now apart from that... I've got a little treat for all of you. It's a joke that I've been working on for a while now, and I think it's ready to be heard.

How did Burger King get his girlfriend pregnant?

He forgot to wrap his whopper.

RG: Ouch…

CJ: Goodnight everybody!

HS: Well, bar that err… joke, that announcement was great! Huge for EWA, another brand, wow!

RG: Wait, are we announcing there too?

HS: Err, I don’t know, I’ll have to check my contract

RG: Oh, wait… I’m just getting it through my headset that we are now going to have some of the new talent which will feature on the PAIN! rosters come out here and introduce themselves

And the first of those (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AvTrOGSJlWY)

A fairly large guy, the Mississippi Indy sensation, by the name of Mike Muir makes his way onto the stage

Mike Muir: Allow me to introduce myself, I’m Mike Muir, I’m from the great state of Mississippi. Southern born, and damn rebel proud. I spent my college years at Ole Miss on both the Rebels football team as a defensive tackle as a starter for 3 of my 4 years on the team and on the Rebels wrestling team where I won all of my matches four years straight. One thing I learned from both school and from family is that you don’t take what you want by any means necessary - you get it through hard work and determination. That’s the southern way of doing things. We don’t bully others around to get ahead, we don’t take short cuts, we fight for honor and respect. That’s why I have come here- to show everyone on EWA Pain how it’s supposed to be done, to fight for the honor of this company, to fight for the honor of the EWA fans. In time, the TV title and the World Title will come my way, mark my words about that. But I don’t want them just handed to me like I have seen happen in other feds. I will give it my all, I will sweat, I will bleed- but I will never give up my fight to get to the top.

*Crowd give him a positive reaction as he walks back past the curtain*

HS: You know what, at the risk of sounding hypocritical, I think I’m going to really like this guy. He seems like a real stand-up guy, who will work his arse off to make his way to the top.

RG: Urgh, Mike Bore. If he’s on PAIN!, I don’t want to be calling it. Who’s up next?

It’s the Concorde! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nq754H8BLVA)

RG: Urgh, not this guy. Tell me when it’s over, I may as well catch some sleep

HWA superstar Harry Richards makes his way out onto the stage, mic in hand

HS: Another great addition to the PAIN! roster.

RG: Really? Really? It’s just some skinny kid. How old is he? Like 17?

HS: He’s 16 Rich, and that’s the whole point, he’s so good now, what’s he going to be like in 14 years time?

HR: What is up E W A? *Crowd pop* Wow, I like it here already. I’m Harry “the Concorde” Richards, voted the top high flyer from the UK by PWI this year, and let me just say it’s an honour to be a part of EWA, and to be one of the forefathers of this new brand PAIN! is even better.

A few of you may know that I am one of the products of the Rage training camp, so when the head writer Robareid asked his close friend Rage for a favour in hunting new talent for the new brand, I was first on the list, and I took that opportunity with open arms.

This really could be my big break. All I need is an opportunity, and that is what EWA has given me. I look forward to performing in front of all you great fans, and flying like you have never seen before. I’m Harry Richards, and you guys better get ready to fly.

RG: Well thank god that’s over

Not your most common entrance theme (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wyx6JDQCslE)

A cocky looking guy walks out from behind the curtain, pushing Harry Richards as he walks past. As Richards gets up in his face, a huge bodyguard walks out and blocks him off

Richards then shies off and walks to the back, while the huge bodyguard just stares into the camera

RG: Lol

HS: Well, according to the little voice in my ear, this is Alpha Romao alongside his huge bodyguard Destruction

RG: This guy’s 6’7”, how dominant is he going to be

AR: Pain huh, the perfect name for my show. Pain is what my opponent will feel, when I lock on the Alpha End All. Pain, is whatmu opponent will feel, when I hit the deadliest move in AAAALLLLLLLLLLLL of Sports Entertainment, If you smell what I'm cooking (raises eyebrow). I hit that move better that Shawn Michaels, better than Bret Hart, better than that Scotsman who's actually Canadian and only got over because of his backstage pal Brother, the BTH. Pain is what these all eating, all shitting arseholes feel when they go home to their Pennsylvanian family. Pain, is what others feel when I can get myself over without having a crappy youtube show, or hanging around with those arse raping fans. Yeah it's indecent, but if you don't like it, well then YOU CAN'T SEE ME. We won't fuck up our careers by turning up to a PPV stoned, creative you can trust us. AND IF YOUR NOT DOWN WITH THAT, WELL WE'VE GOT 2 WORDS FOR YA..... tough, Sucka

HS: Let me guess Rich, you like him already

RG: Wrong… I like both of them already! Next up, we have a team called Fuegos Artificiales

Here they are (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TS2LA9GVyHY)

TT: Hello, me name is Taco Torres and dis is me and me brother Paco's first time out of Mexico and we are glad to be here in the new EWA. We have heard a lot about the tagteam situation here and really want to be a part of it.

PT: Si, I agree. When we were first signed, we were promised TV time on Fury, but management decided to go with others first. But that is ok, we got to see some of the team in action on the monitors in the back- we scouted dem and saw what der weaknesses and strengths were. Back in Mexico we just wrestled the same teams over and over for years and we got tired of dat.

TT: When management said we would not be on Fury, we were not happy. We thought we wud have to go back to Mexico and be bored out of our mind again, but we informed by Senor Jackson that EWA would have new show- Pain. Senor Jackson then went on to tell us we would be part of it, so that makes us happy.

PT: We will hopefully make a big impact here, we know how most of our opponents work. Mark my word; we will make it to the top.

RG: Jobbers

HS: Bit harsh Rich. Now we have a guy called Gaileo, and I hear he’s a little weird

The psychopath Gaileo makes his way out (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7u8gQMD2UGw)

G: Pain is coming to get you. If you’re in the crowd, pain is coming to get you. If your my unfortunate opponent, pain is coming to get you. Pain is coming to get you. Pain is coming to get you. Pain is coming to get you. Pain is coming to get you. Pain is coming to get you. Pain is coming to get you. Pain is coming to get you. Pain is coming to get you. The sleepers the one of the most dangerous move ever, as is the figure four. When I lock it on, the only option for you is to tap. Hall of Fame is near approaching, as if I was in the WWE, the impact I would make on my debut would make me an instant hall of famer. EWA, I'm coming to get you. Fans in this fucking hunk of junk arena, I'm coming, for Pain is coming to get you.

RG: I don’t like this guy

HS: Me neither… Let’s move on. We now have, all the way from the Isle of Man

Ryku O’Ryan! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nKAwap4Y8Qc)

*Fireworks go off as Ryku O'Ryan walks out. The crowd stares as they wonder who this man is. He slowly walks to the rings and asks for a mic*

ROR: Hello, my name is Ryku O'Ryan, and I come from the Isle of Man! I am here in EWA to prove to everyone and to prove to myself that I am the best in the business!

*Crowds cheers a little*

ROR: I was trained by a legendary fella, a man who is the very definition of greatness, a man who is the main event! He is a Showstopper!

*The Crowd cheers*

ROR: I was trained by the man himself HBK, Shawn Michaels! It is with his guidance and his training that I will become EWA World Champion! Ain't much more to say about that, now is there?

RG: Meh, sounds a bit bland to me

HR: Oh shut up Rich, he’s been through a lot in his life, and making it here is a childhood dream

RG: Meh, doesn’t change that he’s bland. Apparently we have one more guy left to debut, but for some reason we haven’t been told who it is yet

12-18-2011, 02:56 PM
I’ve heard this before (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9XnNk5_U3Q4)

HS: Oh no, not him, please not him

The voice of a small child whispers the following

Fear the lies, I
Fear the sighs,
Fear those distraught eyes,
Fear for the unknown,
Fear for the known,
Fear of everything combined,
Fear is what makes you blind,
Fear is what makes you think,
and act in blind accordance,
Hindering the world around you,
Hence, your fear of myself
Fear the love,
Fear the pain,
You will have a fear, of the unforgiving cane
The Devil's rejects are no longer with me
But with Silva in EWA, you will learn to FEAR ME!

RG: Shit, not him! Please say I’m not commentating over on PAIN!. I value my health and he is a serious threat

HS: Right, moving from one psycho to another, next up we have the man who calls himself KiLLA in the TV title match

RG: I’m really looking forward to this match; I see a title change occurring

HS: For Phenix’s sake I hope not, the only reason KiLLA let him live last week was because he had the title. If he losses that title, KiLLA may not be so… Kind, I guess is the word

You don’t want to meet this guy in a dark alleyway (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rRbJS7AYEvc&feature=related)

RG: KiLLA really lived up to his name last week, taking out not one but two men

HS: You’re right for a change Rich. This guy was absolutely devastating with his attacks on Medeiros and Phenix. That Jackknife Powerbomb off the stage may well have ended Medeiros’ career

RG: He’s got everything in his favour, I see him winning the TV title here tonight

The Fury Glo… TV Champion (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KfJwXiElJKw)

HS: Or KiLLA’s attack may have just got Phenix fired up, and made him better than ever. This one really could go either way



*Don’t watch past 8:57*

RG: Huge cutter from KiLLA! This one’s over




HS: Wow! Phenix kicked out of that huge cutter

RG: I can’t believe that, and by looking at KiLLA’s face, I don’t think he can either

KiLLA pulls Phenix to his feet and sets him up for a side slam

He lifts him up, Rock Bottom style, in preparation for the move he calls Drop Dead, but mid move, and in mid-air, Phenix manages to twist his body gets behind him draped across his shoulders

Crucifix pin!




HS: Phenix retains! Phenix retains!

RG: That lucky shit. KiLLA had him right where he wanted

Phenix is passed his title, and he raises it above his head in celebration

KiLLA just sits there amazed that he’s been beaten. The expression on his face then changes and he makes his way to his feet and charges Phenix from behind, laying him out with a double axe handle

RG: And now it seems he’s going to pay

As Phenix makes his way to his feet, he is immediately met with a Drop Dead from KiLLA

HS: Right, come on you’ve made your point. Now walk away

RG: Oh come on Herb, it doesn’t take too many brain cells to figure out that someone by the name of KiLLA isn’t going to leave it at just that

KiLLA then drags Phenix to his feet, and launches him over the top rope to the floor

HS: My god! That was so dangerous! Phenix doesn’t seem to have any clear injuries, but that could have easily left him with several broken bones. That was around a 10ft drop onto a thinly padded concrete floor

KiLLA then leaves the ring and stands over Phenix and makes his signature cutthroat gesture

He lifts him to his feet, and stands facing away from him, hooking their arms

RG: I’ve seen KiLLA do this before. It’s his most devastating finisher, called the KiLLAway. It’s a back to back double underhook piledriver (aka Gringo/Cop Killah) , and hit on the outside, we really could have a murder on our hands

As KiLLA goes to prepares to hit the move, Brandon Medeiros runs down the ramp chair in hand, but due to KiLLA looking towards the ring, he doesn’t see him

HS: It’s Medeiros! He’s back, and just in time if you ask me

Medeiros blasts KiLLA with a huge chair shot to the back, forcing him to release Phenix. Medeiros then hits KiLLA again with the chair, this time to the head, laying him out

Medeiros then picks up Phenix, and puts him on his shoulders, and carries him back up the ramp to the back

HS: Wow, Phenix may well owe Medeiros his life

RG: I can’t believe Phenix escaped with both the title and his health. I could have sworn KiLLA would have taken at least one of them

HS: We’re now going to hand over to Ashley Ion

AI: Hello, I’m standing by with the Fury World Champion, Alex Kidd.

KIDD: *Interrupting* No need to talk, I can do it for you. Go now hush hush corre perro. Sorry about that my ego is a bit high because I am confident I will still retain my championship

-lifts title-

KIDD: when will I retain you ask? Well at bloodbath we will have a match for the world championship I don´t even know what the hell the match is for but I am confident that I will win one way or the other even if I have to knock the person who won my title because it is MY title and I don´t like to share it with anybody even if it´s for the night

-crowd gives mixed reaction-

KIDD: boo me all you want because after bloodbath I will still be the face of this company I promise management the company will not be bankrupt. And if it does I can knock the face out with king splash

12-18-2011, 02:57 PM
HS: Well, the champ is certainly confident. It’s now time for Van Hooligan to take on Ryan Wells, in what we expect to be an extremely physical matchup

It’s the freak, and he’s got a mic (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QuzDghzyVjk)

RW: How is everyone doing tonight?

*Crowd is cheering loud*

RW: Awesome, that is what I like to hear! It's Bloodbath, and I got someone I want to send into one! You guys know who that is?

*Crowd says Van Hooligan*

RW: Exactly! Now, he hasn't shut his mouth up back stage even though I destroyed him last week for some reason, so I'm here to do it once and for all. Now, back when I was a teenager in Boston, we would handle our problems on the str----

Who else would be interrupting but his opponent (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g2eHh4GcJMQ)

VHX: Hold up, hold up. Waaaait a minute here

*Van then walks down to the ring whilst he waits for the boos to die now so he can speak after interupting Wells and continues to talk when he gets into the ring.*

VHX: Congrats to you for last week. You took advantage of a table breaking. Everyone in this arena knows that if we were to get into a fight i'd get the advantage yet again WITHOUT the bullshit incident that you needed to put me through a table. Everyone knows that the reason they buy ticket is because they want to watch me destroy ido----

RW: Ok shut up! Jesus.*A loud cheer commences when Wells interupts VHX*You never shut up, and I plan on doing it now. As I was saying before, we would handle our problems on the streets. I plan on this being no different, so what do you say coward? You ready to get destroyed?

*Van then looks around to see a lot of pro-wells fans chanting his name, Van looks Wells in the eyes as he said the follow*

VHX: Are you honestly challenging me... right here...right now. To a street fight. Infront of all of your fanboys and fangirls.*Wells nods as you can see in his eyes he is determined to whipe the mouth off of Van* Oh I gladly accept

*Wells and Van both runs out of the ring to the opposite sides and look under the ring for something that'll make their opponent wish they never messed with them. By the time they get back into the ring and start to have a stare off. You can see Ryan "The Freak" Wells has a Steel Chair whilst Van Hooligan X has a Kendo Stick*



*Watch until 7:24*

HS: And Wells counters Hooligan’s attempted cutter onto the steel chair by just throwing him onto it. What’s he doing now though?

Ryan Wells leaves the ring and retrieves a table from under it

RG: This is just like last week’s Fury! These guys have hit each other with everything they have, and neither of them has been able to put their opponent away. So now they’ve brought a table into the equation

Wells pulls the table into the ring, and sets it up on the opposite side of Hooligan to the chair.

He then grabs Hooligan, and positions him against the table, and wraps both hands around his neck

HS: He’s going to hit the Freak Attack through the table!

Just as Wells is going to lift him, Hooligan kicks him in the knee, dropping him to a single knee, and then swiftly hits a STO onto the chair

RG: Wow, what a reversal, VHX just saved himself the match

Hooligan the pulls Wells back to his feet and… HITS A HUGE GUTWRENCHPOWERBOMB THROUGH THE TABLE!!!!!

HS: Oh my god, this one has to be over!

But instead of going for the cover, Van Hooligan slaps on his signature submission move, The Vantastic Clutch


RG: And Wells is tapping, what a match!

HS: That match was about as physical as you can get. They damn near killed each other there. Wait, Van’s not releasing the hold

Wells is now screaming in agony, begging to be let go, but Van keeps the hold synched in.

Ref: Van, if you don’t release the hold by five, I’m going to reverse the decision





Just as the ref is about to count five, Van Hooligan X releases the hold, and stands up, leaving Wells riving in agony

RG: I don’t think Van will be having any more trouble from Wells in the future. That, is how you handle your business

HS: That, Rich, is call assault. He’d won the match, but he was intent on injuring his opponent. Dispicable

*Van goes over to the time keeper to grabs the announcer’s microphone before hurrying back into the ring. He takes a few breaths and waits a brief moment for the PPV audience to quiet down with their boos about Van defeating Wells. It doesn't work though as if anything they seem to get louder*

Van: Shut the hell up when the best wrestler at this event speaks! *This does the complete opposite as they get louder* You can boo all you like but it won't change the fact that I said i'd dominate Wells yet again and I backed up what I said I’d do!

*You can tell that the comments by VHX are getting to the crowd. As they start chanting "You Suck"*

Van: Ha! I find it very funny that Pittsburgh is chanting I suck to me...Speaking of backing it up. The Steelers. Where the hell do I begin with them. Sure you've won a SuperBowl or 2 here and there in 60-70 years? But only just beating the Cardinals? and choking against the Packers? How can anyone be proud of that? I'd call you the City of chokers but let's face it, the Penguins and Pirates can't even get very far to even attempt to choke.

*A very deafening chant of "Let’s go Steelers" begins, if very hadn't gotten a few people to chant, they definitely were now*

Van: You can chant all the bullshit you like! Only place your going is out! There isn't a godamn thing any of you can do about i----

BOOM!!!!! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_zMEBf8i4wM)

It’s motherfuckin’ Broc!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Broc runs down the ramp, wearing his signature Steelers jersey to a huge ovation from the Pittsburg crowd

He slides under the bottom rope, completely ignoring the boots Hooligan lays into him, and tackles him. He grounds and pounds on him, then lets him get up before hitting a wicked clothesline, knocking him straight back down

Broc then stands in the corner, and motions for VHX to get up, but he rolls out of the ring and walks back up the ramp, looking staggered

Broc looks pissed, but decides not to follow him out, and instead stands in the middle of the ring and raises a hand


12-18-2011, 02:58 PM
HS: Wow! Broc in EWA!

RG: Meh, what’s the chance he gets a World title push just because he’s on creative

HS: I’d say about the same chance as you getting fired for that comment.

RG: Shit… Next up we have the honor of getting to see the best tag team on the planet, Two of a Kind, become the inaugural champions of EWA

HS: Don’t count your chickens before they have hatched

RG: I’m not counting chickens Herb… are you high?

HS: No, are you? *awkward pause* What I meant was don’t count out Il Cattivo just yet

Here come the underdogs (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Jl7-B7VFLs)

RG: You don’t seriously think these guys have a chance do you?

HS: They’re undefeated here in EWA

RG: Not after tonight they won’t be

And the other undefeated team here in EWA (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C--gpM2BIW8)

RG: I’m calling it now, TOAK have this in the bag
HS: Well, they are damn impressive, but I wouldn’t write TOAK off just yet



*Don’t watch past 4:44*

HS: Kickout! Uliose kicked out!

RG: I can’t believe it. That must have been a slow count

HS: Oh shut the fuck up Rich, this has been a truly amazing match, and your just pissed off that Il Cattivo are taking TOAK to the limit

RG: Yer… Well… Wonder and Conrad are just playing with them

Paul Conrad pulls Uliose to his feet, and grabs his leg, in preparation for some form of Fisherman’s move

Before he can lift up Uliose, his brother Roberto springboards in with a dropkick, knocking Conrad to the corner

Kid Wonder attempts to clothesline Roberto, but he ducks it and Wonder is met by a springboard roundhouse from Uliose, dropping him

Roberto climbs to the top rope, and dives off; attempting a five star frog splash, but Paul Conrad has made it back to his feet and CATCHES ROBERTO MID DIVE ON HIS SHOULDERS!

Conrad then dumps Roberto over the top rope. Uliose goes to kick Conrad, but he catches his leg, and lifts him up for the Conrad Crusher (Fisherman’s Driver)

Wonder then sticks his knees up, and Paul Conrad hits the Crusher onto his knees

RG: It’s over!

The ref makes the count; 1, 2… 3!

RG: Yes! Didn’t I tell you!

Lillian Garcia: (Hell yes she is the mysterious voice with all the little quips during the enterance) Winners of the match by pinfall, and the inaugural tag team champions: Two of a Kind!

HS: What a match! That really showed off the best of our tag team division here in EWA. That one really could of gone either way

RG: If by that you mean that either Wonder or Conrad could have gotten the pin, I would have to agree with you. These guys are going to have these belts for a loooooonnnnggg time. Who in the division come even close to them?

HS: Well, their next challengers are to be the Turnes; I’m really looking forward to their third showdown

RG: I think the technical term for what that match will be like is a squash match

HS: You’re as bad as Cole… Right, now onto our penultimate match of the night, the number one contenders match

12-18-2011, 02:58 PM
RG: It will pit the supreme athlete, Hanz Gruber against Rob Rage

HS: If their first encounter was anything to go by, It’ll be an absolute epic

The baby face Brit, Robert Alexander Rage (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5HO8h-k_tNk)

Rob makes his way to the ring mic in hand

HS: This match really is about more than just the number on contendership, it’s personal between these two. That beating Hanz gave to Rob last week was absolutely brutal, but the betrayal may well have hurt more

RR: Wow, what a crowd we have here tonight in Pittsburgh Pennsylvania! *Crowd pop* They don’t call me king of the cheap pop for nothing. This match tonight, it’s not just about the number one contendership. It’s not just about proving who the better man is. It’s not even about retribution. No, it’s about proving that EWA is a place where the best athletes are the ones who make it, not the best backstage politicians. It’s about proving that good guys don’t finish last, they win. It’s about showing the world that no matter how many guys you’re going up against, be it a single person who resorts to cheating, a tag team or a whole damn stable, that the support from you fans can turn a match. That’s why I’m going to put a beating on Gruber’s ass, and Croft too if I have too, pin his shoulders to the mat 1, 2, 3 and walk out of here the number one contender. But as they say, talk is cheap, so Gruber, get your ass out here!

HS: Wow, you can really see how much this match means to him

RG: An angry fighter is a sloppy fighter as they say, and Rage looks pretty pissed to me

New entrance theme for the win, even if it is a little weird (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VATb8PwzbDk)

Gruber makes his way down the the ring, flanked on either side by Gerald Croft and “The Butler” Brutus Smith

RG: And you really can’t afford to be sloppy against somebody as good in the ring as this guy


*Don’t watch past 16:16*

HS: What a match this has been so far, and thankfully Croft & Smith’s haven’t influenced this match yet

RG: Why would they need to? Their boy is dominating this match

Rob gets Gruber up onto his shoulders, and drops him down for a GTS, but Gruber lands on his feet, grabs hold of his leg and turns it into a dragon screw legwhip

RG: See what I mean

Gruber holds onto the leg, and locks in his signature submission move, the Sharpshooter!

HS: What a transition! I may not like this guy, but he’s damn good in the ring

Rob is right in the middle of the ring, nowhere near the ropes, and Hanz has it thoroughly locked in. He’s clearly in absolute agony, and his hand lifts into the air, as if to tap

Hanz leans back even further, attempting to make the hold even more excruciating, and ……… Rob reaches back and hooks his arms around Gruber’s neck

Rob then cranks back on the neck, putting Hanz in a painful hold of his own, while still locked in the sharpshooter

Rob then rolls over so he is on top of Gruber, back to back, while still in the Sharpshooter and still grabbing onto Gruber’s neck

HS: This is excruciating for both men, which one will tap first?

After both being trapped in the hold for around a minute, they both collapse, releasing each other

Hanz crawls over to the ropes and begins to climb back to his feet, while Rage just lays there

RG: Rage is out! If the ref wasn’t blind he would already have awarded Gruber the victory

As Gruber finally finds his footing, rage kips up and superkicks Gruber right in the mush!



Thr- No Kickout!

RG: Yes! Rage can’t put Gruber away, he can’t beat him

HS: I wouldn’t be quite so sure Rich, nobody has ever kicked out of the Rage bomb

On orders from Croft, Smith runs to the other side of the ring and gets up on the apron

Rob looks at him, shrugs his shoulders, and runs towards the ropes on the opposite side of the ring and dives over them, hitting a somersault tope onto Croft

RG: He can’t do that!

HS: He just did

Smith runs around the ring, but Rage slips into the ring, and as Smith follows under the bottom rope, he hits him with a superkick before he can reach his feet

HS: Yes! The numbers are now even

Gruber then rolls up Rage from behind




RG: Ye-


RG: No! Slowcount ref!

Both men reach their feet at the exact same time,

Gruber goes for a clothesline

Rob ducks


Gruber bounces off the ropes, out on his feet

Rob grabs his leg

RAGE BOMB!!!!!!!!!






RG: NO!!!!

HS: Rage wins! Rage is the number one contender!

RG: I can’t believe it, Hanz had him right where he wanted

HS: I told you, nobody kicks out of the Rage Bomb. Whoever leaves tonight as the champion, Alex Kidd or Michael the Archangel, they are in for a huge test

12-19-2011, 04:45 AM
RG: Right… Let’s move on. Dammit! Well, now we have our main event of the night, the World Champion Alex Kidd taking on his challenger Michael the Archangel

His names Michael, and he’s the Archangel and after tonight, maybe a world champion too (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=omuYo49_SOQ)

RG: I’m sorry all you Archangel fans out there, but lightening doesn’t strike twice. Rage may have got lucky, but we’re not going to see Michael win too

HS: I can’t wait to see the look on your face when he wins. I simply can’t wait

*Michael steps into the ring and asks for a mic*

MtA: So here it is. My shot at glory. This is what I've needed for myself! To prove to the world that I am a main event wrestler. My brothers have proven it and now it's my time and in the main event of the FIRST EWA PPV! It is an honor and a privilege to be be the first main event on the first PPV. Win or Lose tonight I know I deserve this position! Alex Kidd you may have beaten me down and cut me but that only fuels the fire in me. Alex you are not worthy of the title it needs to be in the hands of a true champion. I will take this belt from you and become the NEW EWA World Champion. You deserve nothing you get Alex. I worked hard for my chances while everything was handed to you. Right now it my time to achieve my dream! So Alex come on out let's give these people one hell of a main event and get me my very first world title!

And his opponent, the World champ (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9SKFwtgUJHs&feature=player_embedded)

RG: You’re dream may be to win the world title Michael, but this is reality, and this match is going to be a nightmare for you, watching your chance of greatness slip through your fingers

Kidd gets into the ring, and they stare each other down




*Stop at 10:13*

RG: Come on Kidd, you’ve got him right where you want him

As Kidd gets to his feet on the top rope, Michael jumps to his feet and crotches him on the top rope. He then lifts him off the top rope, in preparation for a back to belly piledriver (fade to black by Kaz), but Kidd rolls through into a pin

RG: Come on!


Kidd puts both his feet on the middle rope

HS: Bastard!


HS: No, not this way

*Michael kicks out a millisecond too late*

RG: Yes!!!!!!!!!!

Alex Kidd bails from the ring, grabs his title, and runs half way up the ramp

HS: Bastard

RG: Genius

Kidd is standing half way up the ramp, gloating and hugging his title which he had just retained

Michael is leaning over the ropes, an expression of complete Fury on his face, staring a whole through the man who had just cheated him out of a title reign

Suddenly, the whole arena goes black, and a silence takes over

Slowly, a faint voice speaks

The Prophecy was
Set in stone
By the ancients
A millennia ago

Those who follow the teachings
Will survive the Armageddon that will fall
When the conditions are met
And the prophecy completed

On the last day
Of two thousand and eleven
The Prophet will arrive

12-24-2011, 02:36 AM
Don't get too excited just a filler

12-24-2011, 02:37 AM
Last filler

12-24-2011, 02:37 AM
EWA Fury Episode 5


EWA Fury Theme Song: Hollywood Undead “Young” (Hollywood Undead - Young (W / Lyrics))

HS: Hello and welcome to episode five of Fury! We’re live from Boston, home of the Red Socks, and what a show we have for you tonight

RG: Not only do we have the aftershock from our huge PPV Bloodbath, but we also have four great matches already set in stone

HS: We have the High Octane Superstar making his Fury debut against still world champion Alex Kidd. We have KiLLA in action, and you know he’ll be pissed after his loss at Bloodbath, we have the new number one contender to the TV title G-Scorp in tag team action alongside Douglas Blake against the team who just missed out on the titles, Il Cattivo. Then last but not least, we have our new tag team champions in action against the TV champion Jack Phenix and his partner Brandon Medeiros.

RG: And you would guess that more matches will be added due to the nature of wrestling shows

What a pleasant surprise, it’s the Archangel (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=omuYo49_SOQ)

RG: What’s this failure doing out here? He’s had his chance, and he blew it.

HS: He got screwed Rich. He deserves another match for the title

RG: Fuck no! Back of the line bitch

Michael walks out to a huge pop from the crowd he gets in the ring and asks for a mic*

Michael: I went on to prove that I can handle the main event. At Bloodbath I took Alex Kidd to his limits that he had to resort to cheating to beat me. Is that the kind of champion you want EWA?

*crowd chants "Hell No" and "Fuck Alex Kidd"*

Michael: That's exactly what I thought. Alex you can't beat me fairly can you? I'm not going to talk about how my dreams are crushed and all that. No I'm here to demand a rematch! I demand the rematch beacuse I was screwed out of the title because you're a litte coward who resorts to such tactics. You know I am better than you So I am demanding a rematch for the World TItle I don't care if Rob Rage is the current No.1 Contender I was screwed so I won't leave the ring until I am granted what I deser—

Well look who it is (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g2eHh4GcJMQ)

Van: Hooold up! Waaaait just a second there.

Very loud boos commence when Van comes out from the back and walks down to the ring*

I think you'll find that after that defeat, you go to the back of the line now! If anyone should b--

Van pauses whilst the crowd then begin a "You suck" chant*

As you can hear, the crowd can't help but react to anything I do here. Hell I could come out here and sign autographs for these losers and they'd still despise me! If anyone should be #1 contender over Rob Rage, it's me! I’ve proven how aggressive I could be against Wells and I’ll prove it to Alex Kidd when I get my EWA world championship match!

How rude, another interruption (Numb Encore Instrumental (Fixed Version))

Rob Rage makes his way out, to a huge pop to the crowd. He walks down the ramp, high fiving with fans and slides under the bottom rope and takes a mic from Lillian Garcia*

Rage: Somebody say my name?

*Awkward pause until Van realises it wasn’t rhetorical*

Van: Er, yes, I s-

Rage: Ding ding ding! We have ourselves a winner! Took you bloody long enough. Jesus Christ. *He then looks over at Michael with a apologetic expression on his face* Oh… Erm, no disrespect Archangel, just a figure of speech, won’t happen again, scouts honor. Although, I never was a scout… I tell you something I am though. The number one contender to the Fury World Heavyweight Championship! *Huge Crowd Pop*

Now, I heard you two boys bickering over that fact, so I came down here to clear it up. Number one contender, Rob Rage. Rob Rage number one contender. That means that I’m the one who is getting the next shot at the world title, comprende? I earned that spot when I beat Gruber, and his small army of backup known as Crofts Limited I might well add, and nobody is going to take that away from me!

Michael, I watched the world title match at Bloodbath, and hell you’re right, you were screwed. Now, sadly, that sort of shit happens in wrestling, sometimes when the shit goes down it lands on you, fact of life. But. But, but, but, but, but that doesn’t mean that that is fair. So I’m going to make a promise to you right here, right now. When I beat Kiddy boy for the title, you will be my first number one contender. *A huge grin spreads over Michaels face* You’ve got my word

*Rob extends his hand to Michael, and he accepts the handshake*

Van: Oh, I see how it is. Promising title shots to all your buddies, but avoiding the only guy in this ring who truly deserves a title shot

Rage: Err… No Vany, I’m not ignoring myself in this one, I think you must have got lost somewhere along the way… *Crowd laugh* Hey, all jokes aside, what makes you think you deserve a title shot? I mean, you’re record ain’t exactly brilliant, is it? One win, two losses… Doesn’t exactly scream out title shot now does it

*Van lifts his mic, about to speak, but Rob knocks it out of his hands, and they stare each other down with like mega intensity (dude)*

*Just when it looked like they would come to blows, we have yet another interruption*

Here comes that crazy German with the cookie song theme (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VATb8PwzbDk)

Hanz Gruber makes his way onto the stage, flanked on either side by Brutus Smith and Gerald Croft, to a chorus of boos

Hanz: Well, well look at what we have here, Herr Rage, I thought for sure you would be ‘ummmm “training” with your little protégé Richards back in your hotel room for his debut on PAIN! *ha ha*

*Rage takes his eyes off Van, looking directly at Hanz now. Rage is visually pissed off*

Hanz: Van has a good point though Rage, how the hell can you give out title shots to a belt you will never, eveeer hold. This is not WWE where the main eventers make their own matches- This is EW f’uckin A.

*Crowd chants EWA, EWA, EWA, EWA, EWA

Hanz: Oh shut the fuck up and let me finish.

*boos are at their highest now, Hanz flips the crowd off*

*Rob Rage motions for the crowd to calm down*

Hanz: Ok, now that the moron finally got all these idiots calmed down a bit, let me finish.

*Rage looks a bit pissed off again*

Hanz: Let’s be honest Rage, at Bloodbath I controlled our match, I had you beat but the ref was an inept piece of trash. Every time I had you pinned, he did a veryyyy slowwwww countttt. When you were actually lucky enough to get me in a pin, well it seemed he remembered the right way to count again. In fact, it was a fast count, that’s the only reason you won. You think I cheat to win? Well it looks like someone *points to Rob, had to pay off an official just to stand a chance at maybe beating me. Well I will give it to you Rage, it worked. Nothing like a ref in your back pocket, so to say. *ha ha* I should be the rightful number one contender, not you. As for you *points to Michael, you couldn’t beat that little midget Kidd when you had the chance, so its back to the end of the line for you my friend, or better yet, why don’t you just go home and cry to your big brothers you little pussy.

*Hanz then slaps Archangel around the face, and Archangel immediately retaliates with a vicious right hook*

Herb: You just knew this would break down

Brutus Smith then lays Archangel out with a clothesline. Hanz gets up, and start laying in the boots onto Archangel.

Rob then launches himself at Hanz, tackling him to the mat, and they begin to brawl, trading fists

Brutus then goes over towards Hanz and Rob, but Michael has since got back to his feet and jumps onto Brutus’ back and clasps his hands around his head, applying a sleeper hold

Van Hooligan X, surveying the melee, laughs and rolls under the bottom rope out of the ring

Hanz and Rob have separated themselves and are now trading blows on their feet. Brutus Smith reaches back and grabs Archangel around the neck and pulls him over his head and off of his back, but Archangel lands on his feet and hits a picture perfect dropkick, staggering the butler

Van Hooligan X rolls back into the ring, now wielding his signature cricket bat, and stabs Smith in the ribs with it, making him collapse through the ropes. Before he can take another swing at one of them Hanz, Rage and Michael all bail out of the ring

Christopher Jackson walks onto the stage with a disapproving look on his face

CJ: Hold on a minute guys, we need to put an end to this. Seriously! If Van takes one more swing with that cricket bat and makes someone bleed, I don't know what the hell I'm going to do! The cleaners have gone on strike and I don't know how to use a mop and bucket. Anyway, in order to sort this out, we're gonna to have ourselves a little tag team match! It's gonna be Hanz Gruber and Van Hooligan X teaming up against Rob Rage and Michael the Archangel. Holla, holla holla, I've just stolen someone's gimmick! See ya later guys!

Herb: Oh, you’ve got to love the GM. What a main event that should be! All four competitors are fantastic athletes

Rich: But Van Hooligan and Hanz Gruber are the better athletes of the two teams

Herb: Debateable, debateable, but even if that is true, do you think these two will be able to coexist? I mean, Van has already attacked one of Hanz’s stable mates

Rich: That was before the match was announced Herb, now that they know they’re tag partners they’ll get along fine

Herb: We shall see…

12-24-2011, 03:17 AM
Rich: See we shall. Now from two of my favourite guys, to another of my favourites. Next up we have the World Champ Alex Kidd in action against some guy who is high… Why are we promoting this sort of activity Herbie?

Herb: Rich, he’s called the High Octane Superstar

Rich: What’s Octane? Some new sort of drug

Herb: *facepalm* Let’s just go with Henry Ormond Stevens

Well, whatever H.O.S. stands for, here he is (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u8isKsULUNo)

Rich: Oh, I remember this guy, wasn’t he at Bloodbath?

Herb: *sigh* Yes

Rich: He was pinned wasn’t he?

Herb: *sigh* Yes

Rich: Loser

And his opponent, the champ (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9SKFwtgUJHs&feature=player_embedded)

Rich: Here is a guy who most defiantly isn’t a loser. He’s the champ for gods sakes

Herb: True, but Alex Kidd can only lose in this match. A win is expected, a loss is devastating


Rich: Well that didn’t take long

Herb: You are right, for a change, but that’s the nature of high risk offence, you sore and score or crash and burn. Even though the match only lasted three minutes and sixteen seconds, at some points Henry really looked like he had Kidd

Rich: Meh…

*commercial break*

Back from the commercial break, and the camera is following H.O.S. He's looking pretty down after his loss against the champ, and not looking where he's going as he enters the locker room and walks straight into Douglas Blake on the way out

DB: Well look who it is, High Octane Superstar. Saw your match or should I say your beatdown. You just lost a huge opportunity by getting your ass handed to you by that punk Alex Kidd. You could even last five minutes. That was your one chance to prove you had what it takes. Now sit back and watch me hand out my own beatdown tonight

HOS: What makes you think you’re actually going to win your match... Douglas? You couldn’t even beat me last night and I did take on the world champion tonight your taking on guys that couldn’t beat TOAK, a team I handled week in and week out in another fed so talk all you want...... but how about winning first

*An intense staredown occurs, but the tension is broken when Douglas Blake laughs*

Blake: I don't know why I'm even wasting my time on the likes of you

*He then walks off, leaving HOS fuming*

*The camera cuts to another scene. Rob Rage is sat in his changing room, watching the show on a flat screen TV*

Rob: *Talking to himself* Alex Kidd wins again? Really? This shouldn’t even be getting called the world champion after that screw job he pulled on Michael. The show has been great so far though, I’ve got to give it to them, the writers must be amazing

*A brisk knock on the door interrupts Rob’s musings*

Rob: Come in

Michael the Archangel comes through the door and Rob gets up to greet him

Rob: Michael, to what do I owe the pleasure? I was just talking about you

Michael looks around the room, and seeing it empty asks:

Michael: To who?

Rob: Oh… um… myself

Michael raises an eyebrow and Rob blushes and attempts to move the conversation on

Rob: Soooooo… What brings you to my changing room?

Michael: Listen Rob I know you went through hell to get the number one contendership spot but you saw what happened I got screwed all I ask is one more match with Alex for the belt and you can get the first shot that you earned. I understand if you say no, win or lose that was my shot but the way Alex did it was unfair. But tonight we go as a team and I want you to know I've got your back no matter what I'll see you in the ring

Rob: I'm sorry Michel, but you're not going to be able to have another shot at Alex for the title. Thats because that after I get my shot Alex wont even have the title, I will! However, I promise you here, man to man, that I'll do everything within my power to give you the first shot at the title. You're right,you were screwed, and you deserve another shot. I don't care if people bitch and complain about me handing out title shots to my friends, you deserve a shot, and thats exactly what i'll give you.

Michael: Sounds great Rob, but just be careful, if he can screw me he can screw you

Rob: Okay, will do... So, what now?

*They look at each other, and smile*

Michael: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Rob: I sure hope so

Both in unison: Backstreet Boys rave!!!!!!!!!

*The song of I want it that way blares through the lockeroom*

Rich: What. The. Absolute. Fuck.

12-24-2011, 03:19 AM
H.S Well, it looks like Rage and The Archangel are on the same page. That's great news for them, but bad news for Van and Gruber.

R.G Yeah, yeah, they both suck, Archangel lost and Rage got a fluke at Bloodbath, they're both a load of crap, piss off about them, talk about Van Hooligan X and Hanz Gruber

H.S No thank you, they're both cocky son of a -

KILLA'S HERE (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rRbJS7AYEvc&feature=related)

Rich: Here comes my boy!

Herb: Really? You’re boy? Really?

And here comes the jobber (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=btPJPFnesV4&ob=av3e)


Herb: Impressive display there by KiLLA

Rich: No shit sherlock, he just fucking squashed him like a bug

Herb: You have such a way with words Rich

*KiLLA leaves the ring, goes over railing and walks a bit, grabs chair and launches it at a member of the crowd, knocking him out cold*

Herb: Ouch

*KiLLA then picks up another chair and walks back to the ring*

*He sets up the chair and pulls John Jackson to his feet, faces away from him and hooks his arms*

Herb: Oh no! Don’t do this

KiLLA then picks him up and hits him with a back to belly piledriver onto the steel chair, causing it to collapse

Rich: KiLLAway!!!!!!

Herb: Oh my god, we need some EMTs there now!

KiLLAstands in the ring and laughs, before snatching a mic from announcer and makes him jump by punking him with a punch gesture*

KiLLA: that's Called MudafukN Reckless Right There, Who da fuck else isn't gonna care... ColdHeart, That's Called ColdHeart Right There ,I Don't Care, Cuz I Got Jack'd! I Ain't Down wit Gettin Jack'd For a Win ,This lil Tick Got Lucky ,I Put datt on Da Fam I ain't playin wit this kid Childsplay Games ,I Got jack'd,word and I'm Takin Hiiis TITLE!!! THIS *points at Jack Johnson* THIS IS HOW ITS GOIN DOWN! U saW How Jack Johnson Got Laidout and Then its Ur Turn ... U jack Phenis is Gon Get Jack'd For the TV TiTLE. How u Gon Like it Wen ur Stretched out ,Shiverin and Shakin Lookin Stupid on da Floor Leakin out da nose,lips and eyelids. Cracked Head and Bones, Bitch. Juz Like ima Finish off Brandy Medeiros. Ya Wanna Help Each Other? Its Aight.... Ya Became Butt Buddies ? Its Aight... Suckin Each other off now ,Bitches. Ima Put da Gun to ur Mouf so u can suck on datt and let it squeeze and tell u hold datt... .....Look into My Eyes.....**Grabs Camera Close ** CURSED IS THE MEN THAT WILL DIE, AS THE EVIL DONE BY ME WILL SURVIVE...ON 2 DA next As Your TV Champion! ......COME.... SEEEEEEE...... KIIILLLLLLLAAAA!!!

Rich: Wow, such intensity

Herb: Rich, he just brutally assaulted a member of the roster and you’re fantasising about him

Rich: I’m not fantasising about him! It’s just a trouser crease!

Herb: Oh god… I hadn’t even looked there… Let’s take a commercial break

<<<Commercial Break>>>

12-24-2011, 03:21 AM
Back from the commercial break and the APA theme drowning through the arena as the Victorious Mad Dog and Kid Wonder hit the stage*

KW: Well well well, I hate to say we told you so

PC: Actually we love to say it, WE TOLD YOU SO, WE TOLD YOU SO, WE TOLD YOU SO, WE TOLD....

KW: OK terrets i think they get it.

PC: I don’t think they do Kid because if they did then they would bow down to such greatness standing before them

*Crowd Chanting you suck*

PC: We don’t suck, we are true greatness, we are the First ever Dual Inaugural Tag Team champions and the only ever current dual tag team world champions so you will show some god damn respect.

We are undefeated in two companies, we say what we are going to do and we do it so you wanna boo us fine but the truth is we are the EWA tag team Division. *huge you suck chants*

KW: We have destroyed all three contenders to our EWA world tag team titles and now that we have done so we really shouldn’t have to defend our titles and our general manager agrees, because he made a number 1 contenders tag team title match at Blood Bath, where the Turnes actually won a match and just like Il Cattivo... apparently 1 win is all you need to take us one for our titles but let me get something straight right here for you imbecilic morons in attendance and watching at home

**Mega Boos**

Love us or hate us, we are going to be your first and only ever EWA tag team champions and if you don’t believe us... look at who we have to face, the turnips and pansy division????? Sounds like Burkes Backyard (Australian gardening show) and to finish of this world’s worst garden you have the ill crap on you.

PC: Facts are facts and the fact is there are no challengers to our titles and as long as we keep receiving these fat pay packets we will be holding on to these titles for a very very long time because we are Two Of A Kind and we mean business

Rich: Well, it would be nigh impossible to argue with them, they may sound cocky but everything they say is true

Herb: Well, from one tag team who had a great night at Bloodbath and won the tag team championships, to a teams that ended up on the losing side last Sunday

Rich: Next up we have the team of Il Cattivo taking on the number one contender for the TV title G-Scorp and Douglas Blake. I like this new team, I see them kicking Il Cattivo’s asses

Herb: There’s no denying they have talent, but this is the first time they’ve ever teamed together-

Here come a pair of Italian Brothers (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Jl7-B7VFLs)

Herb: -and as Lillian just pointed out, they’re going up against a team who have been a team their whole lives

Rich: Didn’t help them at Bloodbath though did it

It’s the Scorpster (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cBqT3CoXoDM)

Rich: This guy however had a very successful Bloodbath, bagging himself the number one contendership for the TV Title

Herb: But he did capture it at the expense of his partner here tonight. Will that cause friction between the two

And his partner is… Douglas Blake (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PGVyenDWVfc)

Rich: Nah, I don’t see it happening. I mean, how does it benefit Blake to fight G-Scorp? It doesn’t. What will help him though is winning this match. He seems like a smart guy to me, I’m sure he’ll make the right decision


*Don’t watch past 12:06*

Herb: Wow, both men down. What a contest this has been. I’ve really been impressed by the teamwork of Blake and G-Scorp. Both Blake and Roberto need a tag right now though

Both Douglas Blake and Roberto Pamich are crawling towards their respective corners. Blake is first to make a tag, and for that second where the ref was only observing the tag, Karl Panzer jumps the barricade and pulls Uliose off of the ring apron then hides under the ring

Roberto gets to his corner, but there is nobody there. G-Scorp then catches up with him, and grabs a leg pulling him back into the centre of the ring

When G-Scorp lets go, Roberto kips up into a rana

Herb: Wow, what a move

Roberto kips up again, onto his feet this time, and runs off the ropes knocking G-Scorp down again with a running forearm smash

He runs into the ropes again, but Blake catches his legs causing him to fall flat on his face. As he starts to get back to his feet, G-Scorp meets him, double underhooks his arms and hits a nasty tiger bomb

Rich: And it’s moves like that that make this guy the number one contender and soon to be TV champion




As the bell rings signalling the end of the match, Oli Panzer climbs through the crowd and Karl gets back out from under the ring and they take attack Uliose. Uliose ducks under a clothesline from Karl, but gets caught by one to the back of the head from Oli

Herb: Where is the motive for this?

Rich: They got beat by them a couple of weeks ago. Seems fair enough to me

Herb: So every time you lose a match you need to attack your opponent at a later date

Rich: Yep, that sounds about right

Oli Panzer then picks Uliose up onto his shoulders and Karl climbs up onto the ring apron

Herb: Now this is just too far

Karl dives off and hits him with a clothesline in a variation of the Doomsday Device

Rich: Ouch! What a move

<<<Commercial Break>>>

12-24-2011, 03:29 AM
*We come back from the break and the camera is following Douglas Blake, fresh off of his win. Blake walks up to HOS laughing*

HOS: Not tonight Blake, and not like this

DB: That is how you destroy someone. I told you I would win and that is exactly what I did.

HOS; No that is how G-Scorp destroys some en a while since you won a singles match ey?

DB: How about i show you right now what I am capable of!

*Blake goes to push HOS*

*HOS pushes Blake back and they go face to face*.

HOS: I play by the rules BOUY but you will get what's coming to ya

*Blake laughs and claps*

RB: You have guts punk. I'm going to enjoy putting you into a comma. Watch your back you pathetic insect because next time I see you I will spill those guts of yours out on the floor.

*Blake walks away laughing*

Herb: Well, you get the feeling something’s brewing between these two. We’re now going to go check in with Jack Phenix and his partner for tonight, Brandon Medeiros

*Jack Phenix walks into Brandon Medieros' Locker room*

JP: Hey Brandon, Thanks for saving my ass back at Bloodbath, i was in a quite the predicament if you know what i mean, and if you want I’ll try my best to repay you, but first we have a match tonight against the tag champs so we best get ready.

BM: yeah don't worry about it, and yeah I just heard about our tag match tonight hopefully we work well as a team.

JP: Yeah, maybe if we win tonight you can get a shot at my title, but anyway, we should probably watch out for Killa, he’s gonna be pretty pissed after what happened at Bloodbath

BM: Ha....don't worry about that fag "Killa" I dare that pussy to attack me again.

JP: and if he does he will have both of us to contend with, ok I’ll see you later for our match

BM: Peace out man

*Jack Phenix walks out of the locker room as Brandon begins taping his wrists, getting ready for his match*

Herb: Well these two certainly seem to have made a bond over a common enemy, and a win here tonight would put them in contention for the tag belts

Rich: Only problem is that they’re not going to win

It’s Medeiros and Phenix… Medix… or Pheneiros (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KfJwXiElJKw)

Herb: I agree they may not have much experience teaming together, but you never know

Rich: You may never know Herbie, but I have this flashes of inspiration called thoughts that allow me to know

The first ever AWF & EWA dual tag champions (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C--gpM2BIW8)

Rich: I know that this team is going to win. They’ve been on such a roll as late, and they’re currently dual champions, having the belts both here and over in AWF. Phenix and Medeiros are nothing more in a bump in the road

Herb: There’s a reason potholes have to be filled in Rich, and it’s because they can cause serious damage

Rich: Really? A pothole analogy, really?


*Ignore pre-match promo and watch up until 6:02*

Herb: Nasty clothesline from Wonder to Medeiros

Kid Wonder picks up Brandon, and picks him up for his bodyslam setup inverted DDT finisher, but Medeiros reverses out and hits an inverted headlock neckbreaker


Herb: What a move! Could this be it?




Rich: Yes! You’ll have to do a lot more than that to put away somebody like Kid Wonder

Herb: Well, he could be about to do just that. He’s scaling the top rope and OMG, where did that chair come from?

Just as Brandon was about to dive off the top rope, KiLLA, who had just made his way down the ramp launches a chair at Brandon, knocking him off the top rope. The ref immediately calls for the bell, with the match ending in a disqualification

Herb: What a shitty ending to what had been a great match so far

Jack Phenix then climbs into the ring, sprints across its width and dives over the top rope with a somersault tope onto KiLLA

Rich: Hey, no fair! KiLLA wasn’t ready

Phenix gets to his feet, a rolls KiLLA into the ring, then goes over to Brandon and they enter the ring together

Rich: Oh come on, two on one assault, hardly fair

Herb: And assaulting Medeiros with a chair is?

KiLLA struggles to his feet only to be met by a double superkick from the two friends, knocking him back down

Herb: Perhaps this will teach KiLLA that post match assaults aren’t clever

Both Medeiros and Phenix climb to the top of opposite turnbuckles. The crowd are going wild in anticipation of a Swanton bomb shooting star press combination. Medeiros dives off first, and nails his Swanton bomb perfectly, but as Phenix is about to go for his shooting star press he is pushed off of the top rope by G-Scorp, landing on the barricade

G-Scorp then climbs into the ring, and immediately ducks a superkick attempt from Brandon. He then bounces off the ropes on the opposite side of the ring spears the shit out of Medeiros

Rich: Now that’s more like it!

KiLLA makes his way back to his feet, and stares menacingly at G-Scorp. G-Scorp just smiles and motions towards Brandon Medeiros, before leaving the ring and walking back up the ramp

KiLLA lifts up Medeiros, and hits the KiLLAway on him


Herb: Oh my god that’s hard to watch

Rich: What are you talking about, this is awesome

Herb: Down boy. We’ve got to go for a commercial break now, but next up we’re going to get some comments from our new number one contenders, The Turnes

Rich: Sounds gripping…

<<<Commercial Break>>>

12-24-2011, 03:34 AM
Luke and Rob Turne come down to the ring carrying a huge bag

Luke: Wasson BOSTON *loud pop* Let us introduce ourselves. We ... are the Turnes, The NNNEEEWWW number 1 contenders for the tag team championships. Let me tell you a little story. You see, with Christopher Jackson trying to make some allies, if you win a title in EWA, you receive a huge bonus. And as you know, when we previously had matches with Two of a Kind, they've screwed us. So we decided to get our own back.

*Luke and Rob walk over to members of the armed forces*

Rob: Kid, your already rich enough, so much so that when you tried to join EWA, you couldn't care less, as you called us AWF. *Loud boos* BOSTON MASSACHUSETTS ARE WE AWF

Crowd: Hell no

Luke: But Kid, we know that you already have enough money that a 5-figure sum won't matter too much, so let me tell you another story. When you picked on us, you forgot that Big Rob here, was your former bodyguard. That means that he still had keys to your house, and knew your safe combination. So, we may just have took a bit more, we won't say how much, and you’re lucky half your money has moved since 4 years ago, but let’s just say the US army are a 7 figure sum richer,

*Gives money to Man in wheelchair*

Luke: We are coming for 3 things. We are coming for you 2 of a Kind, we are coming for the tag team titles, and we are coming for the rest of your money.


Rich: Well, I hope you’re still awake after that, because we now have our cameras following the world’s best stable, Croft’s Limited

*Gerald Croft, Brutus Smith and Hanz Gruber are walking down the hallway towards Van Hooligan’s dressing room. Before they answer, Croft begins to speak*

Croft: You know, if you don’t see this Van Hooligan bloke as a suitable partner, I can always just get Brutus here to… how shall I put this? Remove him. I’m sure we can find a replacement.

Hanz: Croft, I appreciate that, but I really think Van is up to the task. Watching him at Bloodbath, he seems to have some sort of in ring talent, even if he isn’t the brightest. If teaming with him is what I have to do to become the number one contender, then so be it.

Croft: Ah, but that is the point my esteemed friend. With me as you’re manager, you don’t need to jump through the proverbial hoops. If you have a problem with this match, then I will use my pull to solve it

Hanz: No, Croft, it’s fine. This tag team match isn’t a problem; it should be a good opportunity to extract some form of revenge on Rage. No, my problem is why the Archangel is involved in the tag match. He got his shot at Kidd but came up short. So it should be back to the end of the line for him. But I will play the GM’s game, let’s go find Van.

*Croft, Brutus and Hanz walk into Van Hooligan’s dressing room. Van Hooligan is in there, relaxing. Hanz sits down next to him while Brutus stands over him and Gerald stands to the side, and lights up a pipe*

Hanz: Relax Brutus, step back and leave us be.

*Brutus looks reluctant, but a nod from Croft and he takes a step backwards*

Hanz: Van was only doing what anyone with a brain would have done earlier when he cleared the ring, and I know he would not dare come at us with that bat again if he knew what was good for him. Right Vans?

Van: Sure, why not.*Hanz gives Van a stern look*

Hanz: But look, with both of us working together we have a chance to take Rage out of contention tonight, much as you did with Wells at Bloodbath, which was quite impressive. Michael will be a non-issue- he has to work his way back up the ranks to get a shot at the title again. But like I said, we take out Rage, you and I move up in the rankings. It’s a win win situation for the both of us. And if you and I end up fighting for that number one spot in the future, you better bring that same intensity that you have shown lately- you will need it. But first things first, lets take those losers out tonight.

Van: Quite frankly Hanz I couldn't agree more with what you said. I have a lot of confidence in all our abilities to take them out. We will be fine against all of them as long as you 2 don't act like Alex Kidd did the Fury before BloodBath. *Van see's Brutus have a small chuckle and Van is quick to notice it* Besides, once we've taken them out of the picture I have no problem fighting you, Brutus or Broc for a #1 contenders match.

*Van then grabs a towel and walks past them both, only to turn round and throw a towel at Brutus*

Just make sure he has a shower before we go out. He smells of dog shit.

*Van then leaves the locker room and Croft walks over to Hanz and Brutus*

Gerald: Well… I guess he’ll do

Brutus: I don’t trust him

Gerald: My dear Brutus, we don’t need to trust him, we just need him to fight, and he seems at least mediocre at that. I agree, he is a rather unpleasant beast, but he will serve his purpose. I mean, it’s not like were inviting him into our fold, is it. One match teaming with Mr. Gruber here and it will all be over, there’s no need to worry. Now let us leave this place, you need to prepare for your match, and ensure that fluke does not occur yet again.

12-24-2011, 04:18 AM
Herb: Well, it doesn't look like that's going to be the most stable of alliances

Rich: It'll do the job

Lillian Garcia: It's now time for our main event of the evening. The following contest will be contested under regular one fall tag team rules. Introducing first, all the way from the United Kingdom, weighing in this morning at 224 pounds, the Best of British and the number one contender to the Fury World Title, Rob Rage! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5HO8h-k_tNk)

Herb: Got to love these new main event introductions. This guy is on a real roll at the moment. His match with Hanz Gruber stole the show, and he overcame the odds and won the match, bagging the number one contendership to boot

Rich: All this guy has done is pay off a ref, I fail to see how that is so impressive

Lillian: And his partner, weighing in at 250 pounds, a member of the legendary Holy wrestling family Michael the Archangel! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9kfi3rN0C50)

Rich: Why is this guy even in this match? He had his chance, and he blew it

Herb: He got screwed Rich. He deserves a rematch, and winning this match will hopefully bring him one step closer to that eventual match

Lillian: And their opponents, introducing first, also from England and weighing in at 216 pounds, he's one crazy motherfucker, Van Hooligan X (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g2eHh4GcJMQ)

Rich: Now this is a guy who is really on a roll. Not only did he beat his rival Ryan Wells at Bloodbath, but he took him out. Now that he's dealt with his business, I see him moving onto bigger and better things

Herb: Well I can't deny he's been impressive, even if his win loss record doesn't reflect it

Lillian: And finally, his partner for tonight, representing Croft's Limited and accompanied by Gerald Croft and Brutus "the Butler" Smith, all the way from Germany, weighing in at 225 pounds Hanz Gruber (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VATb8PwzbDk)

Rich: If you want to talk about somebody getting screwed, this guy should be top of the list

Herb: He got beaten fair and square, get over it.


*Watch up to 6:06*

Herb: Rob Rage is on fire right now!

Rob picks up Van, and grabs his leg in preparation for some sort of Fisherman's move, but Van fights out of it, and attempts to hit a back body drop, but Rob rolls through



Rich: No, not like this


Rich: Fast count ref! No fair! *Temper tantrum time*

Herb: This guy winning again really has ruined your day hasn't it Rich

Rage is celebrating in the ring, playing to the crowd when Van Hooligan slips back into the ring and cracks him on the back of the head with his signature baseball bat

Rich: Now this is more like it

Boom! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_zMEBf8i4wM)

Herb: Broc is in the house!

Van looks up and sees Broc charging headlong at him. He readies himself, then thinks back to what happened last time and thinks better of it, and hightails it out the ring, over the barricade and through the crowd with Broc in hot pursuit

Herb: Broc has left the house

Michael goes into the ring to check on Rob, but Brutus Smith gets in the ring and clotheslines him over the top rope

Brutus then follows him out to the floor and punches him knocking him up the ramp. When he goes for the second punch, Michael ducks, wraps his arms around Smith and-

Herb: Oh my god German Suplex off of the ramp! I don't think Brutus will be doing much for a while

As Michael makes his way to his feet, he is hit with a forearm smash from Gruber, knocking him backwards a few steps

Rich: Come on Hanz, take it to him

Herb: Why? What has Michael done to deserve this

Rich: He beat him in a match, twice now

Herb: So you should attack everybody who ever beats you

Rich: Yep, sounds about right

Hanz and Michael are now trading forearms on the ramp, but Hanz is getting the better of if, knocking Michael back. Michael eventually gets knocked back so far that he goes through the curtain into the back

Herb: And then there was one

Rob makes his way to his feet with the use of the ropes, and looks around surprised he now has the arena to himself. He then shrugs, and climbs the top turnbuckle playing to the fans

Suddenly, out of nowhere, Alex Kidd jumps the guardrail, jumps up onto the ring apron and hits a huge step up enzuguri, knocking Rage to the mat

Herb: Why?

Rob: Why not?

Kidd then climbs to the top turnbuckle, flips the bird to the fans then hits his 450 splash

Kidd the gloats in the ring, but suddenly all the lights go out and a voice whispers the following message

When the prophecy arrives
The clock will start
End when the time runs out
And the Prophet achieves glory
The end of the world will occur
On the last day of 2011
The Prophet will arrive
And with him
The beginning of the end

12-28-2011, 11:29 AM
Filler time

12-28-2011, 11:30 AM
You may as well call me Mr. Phil Herman

12-28-2011, 11:30 AM
Cheap pun for the win, now, on with the show

12-28-2011, 11:31 AM
PAIN! episode 1


Herb: Hello and welcome to the first ever episode of EWA PAIN!

Rich: And for some reason we're here. Written into our contracts it says that we must announce every single EWA show this year. Luckily that leaves only two shows, after that I'm off this damn show and only calling Fury, thank god.

Herb: What have you got against PAIN! There hasn't even been five minutes of programming yet.

Rich: It's the B show. I don't want to be associated with a B show

Herb:You're lucky to be associated with any show EWA does. And do we have a treat for you, the first segment of the night is from wacko Jacko

Rich: Who?

Herb: Wacko Jacko, the affectionate nickname for the GM Christopher Jackson that his fan club the Jacko Wackos have given him

Rich: I bet you're a mark

Herb: Hell yeah! I'm a wacko Jacko Wacko who goes wacko for wacko Jacko

Rich: Right... Moving on, let's see what Christopher Jackson has to say

Tadar (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OAPAfZMmCIk)

*Christopher Jackson walks to the ring, shaking hands with the fans in attendance. As usual, he looks excited to be there and points out a sign in the crowd that reads "CJ the DJ". He then points out a sign that reads "CJ wears PJ's" *and then smiles awkwardly at a woman who is holding a sign that reads "CJ, give me a BJ". He enters the ring, waves to the crowd and grabs a microphone*

CJ: Hey everybody! Glad your here on this historic night! Tonight is the debut of the new EWA brand, PAIN! And boy am I excited! I've been waiting for this night all week, but I might not have been able to attend tonight. You see, I went to the Doctors a few days ago for my annual physical and I decided to tell the Doctor that I had been having a problem with my bladder. I told him that I had to go to the bathroom several times during the night, and I said to him "But you know Doc, I'm blessed. God knows my eyesight is going, so he puts on the light when I pee, and turns it off when I'm done!" So he made a note on it and told me I could go. A few hours later however, he rung my wife and told her that my test results were fine, but mentioned my statement regarding God turning the light on and off for me. She later told me that God wasn't turning the light on and off, I'd been peeing in the refrigerator again!

*The crowd laughs and Christopher shakes his head, also laughing*

Anyway, like I said before, this is the first night of the new brand PAIN! and it's gonna be a good one. I'm making a promise to you now that I will personally take this brand to new and exciting heights! Mr McGiven is going to be so proud of me, and he'll have to give me a new contract. So without further ado, allow me to introduce...

Who the fuck is he (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vmI7vbg69tk&feature=youtube_gdata_player)

A fairly tall, cold looking man walks out onto the ramp wearing an expensive black suit, tie and trousers, and dark sunglasses. He's holding a microphone and a look of displeasure on his face

Jackson: What depressing entrance music you have, I'm su-

Black: Silence you fool! My name is Horus Black

Jackson: Oh, that name really fits yo-

Black: I said silence! I realised you are a gibbering idiot but I made the assumption you had a basic grasp of the English language

Jackson: Now calm down, no need to be mean. I realise I'm not the brightest tool in the box *this gets a couple of sniggers from the crowd* but there's no need to be rude. I don't generally use my power, I try to be rather lenient, but I'm going to remind you that I am in charge around here

Black: And that is where you are wrong. Our esteemed owner Mr McGivern made the... questionable decision of putting you in a position of authority over on the show known as Fury but he has made no such similar mistake here on PAIN! I am the appointed general manager here on PAIN!*

CJ: So, I'm not the GM of PAIN!?

Black: No. Now get out of this ring before I call Security! I run the show around here now, and your not invited!

*Horus moves towards Christopher who quickly jumps out the ring and runs to the back*

Herb: Well sucks. Seeing Wacko Jacko is one of the highlights of my day

Rich: Well, I like this guy. He seems to know what he's doing, the same can't be said for Mr. Jackson. This should make my stay on this show slightly more bareable

Blake: Right, now I've dealt with that let us move onto the the maters at hand for the evening. As the more junior of the two brands, we are yet to create any championships for the talent to compete for. I intend for that fact to change. PAIN! will soon have a world heavyweight champion, and we will take our first step to crowning him tonight. I have organised a tournament composed of eight talents that will take place over the next few weeks, concluding at our next pay per view event Untamed Khaos where we will crown our inaugural champion. The brackets are as follows:


Black: So let the best man win. I expect the show will be enjoyable for you fans, so I will now leave

12-28-2011, 11:33 AM
Herb: Wow, what a start to the show this has been. A new GM and a title tournament to boot

Rich: Who the hell is Raden Blain?

Herb: Well, we'll find out soon enough, because he's competing in the first match of the night against Harry Richards, but first, we're going to be hearing from the two

Harry Richards is in his changing room, preparing for his match by taping up his fists. When he finishes, he looks up at the camera

Richards: Wow, what an honour. I'm the first wrestler to get some promo time here on PAIN!, that's pretty cool. And even better, I'm in the first match on PAIN! and not just that, I'm participating in a tournament for the crowning of the first world champion. How cool is that!

Now I hear that I'm taking on a Mr Raden Blain, some seven foot plus monster. Some may say that's bad luck, a nasty occurrence, a painful set of circumstances. Well, I see it as a challenge. I see it as something that will test my abilities to the max, see if I can hang with somebody who is twice my size. That's not too far from the truth as well, with him being 7 foot 1 and me being five six. But, I'm going to take the fight to him and in the end, well I'd quite like to add one more accolade to my collection garnered tonight. The first win on PAIN!

Rich: Deluded, deluded

Herb: Surely there is nothing wrong with being confident

Wow, he is big (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gkhwK6Wlod8&feature=youtube_gdata_player)

*Radin slowly walks to the ring, as a fan tries to touch him he smacks the fan*

RB: My name is Radin Blain and I am your unholy savior. This world has been ruled by a false ideal for to long. You sheep read from a book people say came from god! Lies, all lies. A man wrote those lies and like the pathetic sheep you are you all followed blindly. There is no God, and it is my mission to spread the unholy message. There is but one higher power and thst is the unholy father, the dark prince who is laughing at you all for following such a unbelievable lie. Winning this title will allow me to continue to rid your lives of God and Christ. And the person I wreste tonight will be but another way to prove your precious God doesn't exsist when I send him meet the dark prince. Send him out.

The proverbial David against this Goliath (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nq754H8BLVA&feature=youtube_gdata_player)

Herb: You've got to admire this guys courage, he doesn't look phased at all

Rich: I'd say more likely stupidity


*watch up to 14:48*

Rich: Damn that was close!

Herb: But no cigar. Richards is still in this thing

Rich: Its only a matter of time now, mark my words

Blain grabs Richards by the hair and pulls him to his feet. He wraps both of his huge hands around Harry's throat but he manages to fight out of it by kicking his knee out.

Looking to capitalise on his much larger opponent being down to one knee, Harry runs towards the ropes, springboards off them and... nails a big springboard roundhouse, knocking Blain to the mat

Harry then climbs to the top rope, looking to finish the match while he has the advantage

Herb: Could he be going for the London Star Press?

Rich: I sure hope not

Harry dives off the top rope, perfectly excecuting the Shooting Star Press. The only problem is than Blain is no longer there, having moved seconds before impact

Rich: Crash and burn bitch

With Richards immobilised, Blain... Ascendes to the top rope and... HITS AN ABSOLUTELY HUGE MOONSAULT RIGHT ONTO RICHARDS!!!!!!

Herb: Holy shit

Rich: Its over!




Rich: Blain just beat Richards at his own game. Who the hell is going to beat this guy?

Herb: I have to agree that that was darn impressive, but there is still a lot of great talent left in this tournament for him to face before he earns the belt, its far from.a fargone concluesion. What a great first match that was though, if theyre all going to be like that im going to miss commentating over here on PAIN!

<<<Commercial Break>>>

12-28-2011, 11:35 AM
Herb: Welcome back, next up we're going to have the second of our first round matches

Rich: That's right. Gaileo is going to be taking on one of the jobber twins, and for some reason, we're scheduled to take them on now

Ashley Ion: I am here backstage with the Fuegos Artificiales, Taco and Paco Torres. Taco, you are entered in in the tournament to crown the new PAIN! Heavyweight Champion and your oponent is Gaileo. We got to hear from him on Bloodbath, what are your thoughts on him and what is your strategy?

Taco: Well, I was not real impressed with him. All he talked about was pain, pain, pain. Down in Mexico, me and me brother Paco always wrestled in pain, if not we starved. But we in de big leagues now, pain doesn’t bother me one bit. And dat gringo Gaileo’s word’s do not phase me. I have wrestled his type before- lots of gringos try to prove themselves in Mexico, but in the end they can not hack it and leave. My strategy against him is simple. I am smaller and quicker than him, he will be so worn out from going after me, there is no way he can get me in his sleeper, nor his leglock. While is is out of breath, I will do what I do best, take to the air and do my thing- which is win.

Ashley: Paco, you also have a match tonight, though it’s a non qualifying one, against the mysterious Silva. What are your thoughts? Do you even know anything about him?

Paco: No, the only thing I heard about him is he has mommy issues and that he is one weird bastard. On Bloodbath, his intro talked about fear. Fear means nothing to me. Me and me brother have been wrestling a high risk style for years, we both take chances. So that’s what my plan against him is, take chances and stay one step ahead of him. Hopefully a win over him will impress management and I will soon be in the title picture.

Rich: Lol, job squad actually think they had a chance in their matches.*Taco Torres of Fuegos Artikelly... um Articall

H.S Fuegos Artificiales

R.G Fuegos Artificiales, what a werid name, I guess they're Mexican, they're all strange, mind you, so are people of Portland, it stinks here.

PAIN IS HERE (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8SB6SuUz-Y0)

Herb: And here is Gaileo. He has recently left a mental hospital and is on medication. Where do we pick these people up?

Rich: Well, outside a mental hospital apparently

And here's Taco, accompanied by his brother Paco (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F_6IjeprfEs)

Rich: My boilers broke and I need a Plumber, do you reckon one of these guys could do that job to?

*Stop watching at 9:58*

H.S Great facebuster there by Gaileo, Taco is lying prone on the floor


Herb: He's tapping, he's tapping!

Rich: Another impressive display here, dominating jobber #1. Next up we're going to see a near repeat performance, as jobber #2 is taking on another psychopath by the name of Silva. However, it seems Gaileo is going to speak, as he has a microphone in hand

Gaileo: Pain is coming to get you. You've just seen me disentergrate the best Mexican in wrestling. It was his destiny to be a part of the Gaileo express. I'm the 1 driving and he's the 1 getting ran over. You all heard my promo at Bloodbath, so you know that Pain is coming. Pain is coming. For everyone on Pain, Pain is coming to get you.

Herb: I would not like to get on the wrong side of this guy

As Gaileo goes to hand the mic back to the timekeeper, he grabs him, and locks in a sleeper

Herb: We need some help for him, he's not a wrestler, this is an assault

Rich: It's called making a statement Herbie. I'm sure somebody will have got him out by the time we get to the commercial break

<<<Commercial break>>>

Herb: Well, yet again we find Rich to be wrong

Gaileo is still in the ring with his sleeper hold still locked in on the timekeeper, who is now completely unconscious. Several security guards are also in the ring, attempting to pull Gaileo off of the timekeeper

Rich: Well, its not my fault our security is so incompetent. I hear we're handing over to Ashley, who is in the back with another of our tournament competitors

Ashley: Ok, I back here with the Mississippi Indy Sensation, Mike Muir. Mike, you are taking on Destruction in a first round in the tournament for the Pain! Heavyweight title. While we saw him at Bloodbath as Alpha Romao’s bodyguard, we did not hear from Destruction himself. Are you worried?

Mike: To be honest with you Ashley, no. Just the fact that anyone in this bussiness needs a bodyguard is sad. Destruction may be a big guy, but so am I. But the big difference between both of us is I am in this sport to prove myself to be one of the best to the fans here EWA and elsewhere. I’m fighting for the fans and the companies honor. I will bring prestige to EWA as an honest, fighting champion if I get in the finals and win the PAIN! Heavyweight belt. I’ve modeled my careeer after men like Rob Rage and Ryan Wells, either of whom should have been the Fury World champ instead of a cheater like Alex Kidd. Both men never have taken the easy way to get a win. Even in lose, they still hold their heads up high, learn from that lost and move on. Men like Destruction are just in this sport for one thing- money. I have seen some video of Destructions work and I am not really impressed. Back at Ole Miss, I have seen guys in their first year on the wrestling team that have a whole hell of a lot more talent than him. So tonight probally will not be a wrestling clinic as I would hope. But I have fought guys like him before in the indies and beat them with ease. Before I go to the ring though, I do have something to say to you Ashley, the fans here in Portland and everyone watching this first episode of PAIN!- MERRY CHRISTMAS!

12-28-2011, 11:38 AM
Rich: During that interview our security team finally managed to wrestle Gaileo off of our timekeeper, so the ring is now clear

Herb: Which allows us to start our next match. It involves the other half of Fuegos Artificiales, Paco Torres, pitted against another man who is an expert with the Sleeper Hold, Silva

Rich: Squash match ahoy

And here he comes (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9XnNk5_U3Q4&feature=youtube_gdata_player)

Herb: Now this guy scares me, maybe even more so than Gaileo, it makes it dangerous to be around here

Rich: As long as they're content with beating on jobbers and time keepers I'm fine, as long as they don't come neat me

The Torres Brothers haven't had the best of luck tonight have they? (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F_6IjeprfEs)

Herb: You have to feel sorry for these guys, they haven't had the easiest of matches here tonight, nor the safest

Rich: They're jobbers, it's they're job to job to people with better jobs. If they get hurt doing they're job of jobbing, then thats just part of the job


*Stop watching at 6:09*

Rich: Ouch, and that's why it's called high risk

With Paco laying immobile on the outside, Silva locks in his signature sleeper hold

As the ref counts up to five, Paco is clearly unconscious

Herb: Come on, roll him into the ring and get the pin, there's no need to cause a serious health problem

Rich: You do realise that you're talking about Silva here, don't you?

Taco goes over to Silva, and shouts at him to let go. When Silva refuses, Taco kicks him in the head, causing him to release the hold and a DQ finish

Taco picks up his unconscious brother, and hoists him across his shoulder, and begins to walk back up the ramp. Silva however quickly gets back to his feet, and charges the brothers, knocking them sprawling with a lariat to the back

Rich: I've got a feeling PAIN! is soon going to need some new jobbers

Silva picked up Taco, the conscious Torres, and a sick smile crosses his face. He grabs him around the waist, in a gut wrench hold, but Taco becomes aware and tries to fight out. Silva soon cuts him off though, with repeated knees to the gut

Herb: This can only end badly

After about the fifteenth knee, Silva stops. Taco is now limp from the punishment he has taken so Silva lifts him up and HITS A GUTWRENCH POWERBOMB ON THE RAMP!

Rich: Ow, that's going to hurt in the morning

Paco is now coming to, and looks up to see his brother being decimated. Silva then turns his attention towards Paco, and a expression of terror implants itself on his face. He tries to shuffle his way up the ramp, but Silva stalks after him

Just as Silva is about to attack, Richards appears on the ramp and charges at the ex Devils Reject, and hits him with a huge flying knee to the skull, knocking him down

Herb: Well thank god for Richards, he could have just saved Paco from a nasty fate

Harry then picks up Taco and takes him to the back, with Paco crawling after him to safety

Rich: Dang, I was looking forward to a good beat down

Herb: You sick little shit

12-28-2011, 11:40 AM
Rich: Calm down, there's no need to be rude, I carry this commentary team and you repay me with insults. Jesus Christ! Right, next up I hear we're going to be hearing from two more of the title tournament competitors, Destruction and Alpha Romao

No confidence issue here then (http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xle12c_lmfao-sexy-and-i-know-it-official-music-video-hd_music)

AR: Hello Pain, say hello to Mrs Romao's little boy. You all know from my AWESOME promo at Bloodbath that I like taking cheap shots at other "sport entertainers". And I may be a cocky son of a bitch. I may be the most retarded person on Earth today. But you all won't be laughing, when me and Destruction reaches the final of the title tournament. When we do, Destruction here will do the sportsmen like thing and lie down for me. Thar is when I will be the new champion. And if you don't like that, well then YOUR ASS BETTER CCAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL SOMEBODY

Rich: I like these guys

Herb: How predictable. Well, you're in luck, because the bigger, and quieter, of the duo is up next

And his opponent, Mike Muir (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n0XCUcelPR4&feature=youtube_gdata_player)

Herb: Now this is a guy I really like. He's a good wrestler, and a good guy. EWA needs more people like him

Rich: I've heard a rumour he may be about to receive a push similar to Rage's

Herb: Well good for him, although it is only a rumour

Rich: No, you don't understand, he is going to receive a push for the same reason as Rage got his. Now I can say no more

Herb: Oooooo, cryptic

*skip to 7:07*



Rich: Dang shit, he got lucky there. A victory roll isn't really a victory. Destruction was robbed

Herb: You just surpassed yourself in your idiocy

Rich: Er, thank you?

Herb: Lol... That was a great match there, it really could have gone either way, but in the end it was Mike Muir who advanced to the next round. Rich, do you think his partners loss will effect Alpha Romao's chances of advancing in the tournament?

12-28-2011, 12:41 PM
Rich: Plain and simple Herb, it shouldn’t. As long as Alpha keeps his head in the game, doesn’t worry about the loss I see him walking away from here and into the next round. He may even be more determined as his partner has been eliminated

Herb: Well let’s find out

Lillian: The following match is your main event matchup of the evening. It is also the fourth and final first round matchup in the tournament to crown the inaugural PAIN! World Heavyweight Champion. The match will be contested under regular one fall to a finish rules with no time limit. Introducing first, already standing in the ring and accompanied on the outside by his bodyguard Destruction, Alpha Romao!

*At the sound on his name, Alpha gets down on his knees and begins to thrust his hips*

Herb: Okayyy… that’s a little weird

Lillian: And his opponent, measuring in at 6 foot 2 and 223 pounds, from Douglas Isle of Man, Ryku O’Ryan! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g985SuE2VRY)

*Ryku O'Ryan walks down the ramp, shaking the hands of the fans before entering the ring. He motions for the mic before sitting on the turnbuckle*

RO'R': Good evenin', for those who didn't catch the PPV let me introduce myself. I am Ryku O'Ryan! I am The Natural, a man born to be the best! Tonight each and everyone of you will see what Shawn Michaels saw in me when I beat Alpha Romao!

Herb: These two should make for a great main event. From what I’ve heard they’re both in great physical shape and have few equals between those ropes. Those factors combined with the stakes of this matchup should equal one we’re not going to forget in a hurry

Rich: So sit back and enjoy, it’s going to be a classic



Rich: Dammit, I thought Romao had that match won

Herb: It was a great match, but in the end O’Ryan picked up the win. That’s all we have time for on this episode of PAIN! Remember to tune into the New Year’s Eve Supershow, and have a good night

The lights of the arena suddenly go out, and we are treated to another of the mysterious viginettes whispered by the voice of a young girl

The Armageddon
The Prophecy foretells
Is unstoppable
Non will survive
But the few who serve
And those who serve
Shall be spared

On the last day of 2011
The Prophet arrives
And with him
The begining of the end
And the end
Of the World

12-29-2011, 02:32 PM
Filler time

12-29-2011, 02:32 PM
Filler #2

12-29-2011, 02:33 PM
Fill, fill, fill, fill, phil, fill, fill, fill

12-29-2011, 02:34 PM
Every day I'm filling! Bu, bu, bu, bu, bu, bu-dedo, bu, bu, bu, bu, bu, bu-du

12-29-2011, 02:34 PM
New Year’s Eve Supershow Roundup


HS: Hello and welcome to a one off special mini show presented from EWA to roundup the card for EWA; Live from the Mecca Madison Square Gardens New Year’s Eve Supershow! I’m one half of your hosts, Herbie Smith

RG: And as you may have fathomed, I’m the other half, Rich Goldman. I can’t believe EWA have managed to add yet another show before the New Year that I’m contractually obliged to carry you on. I mean, this show doesn’t even have any matches

HS: Cheer up, I hear we’re going to get an extra special festive message from the one and only Wacko Jacko!!!

RG: Oh goodie…

HS: Right, let’s start as we mean to go on and reveal the first match on the card. Or should I say matches?

RG: Yes you should. That’s because the first set of matches we’re announcing is a best of five series between the two brands Fury and PAIN!

HS: Each brand will have five representatives, who will face off in five one on one matches. The winning team will be the team who gets more wins believe it or not

RG: Now that Herbie has so eloquently cleared up the rules of the series, I will now announce the teams. Representing Fury will be Hanz Gruber, Douglas Blake, Rob Rage, Michael the Archangel and H.O.S.

HS: And their opponents, representing PAIN! will be Raden Blain, Ryku O’Ryan, Gaileo, Mike Muir and a new addition to the roster, from Newcastle England, Doug Baker. So onto the pairings, and we have a treat for you guys now, we’re going to be making the draws for you live!

RG: Now let’s get this over with. First up on Fury’s side of things *draws numbered ball from bag* number four

HS: That’s the High Octane Superstar *draws ball* against number two… the new guy Doug Baker

RG: Second matchup, for Fury *draws ball* number five, Douglas Blake

HS: Against *draws ball* number one, Mike Muir

RG: Matchup number three *draws ball* number six… Who the fuck set this up? It’s a five on five series you dickheads! *Lobs ball at stagehand and draws another ball* Number one Michael the Archangel

HS: *draws ball* against number four, that crazy fucker Gaileo

RG: *draws ball* Penultimate matchup. Number three, the captain of the team, Hanz Gruber

HS: Ignore him, there are no captains. And he’s going up against number five Ryku O’Ryan

RG: And that leaves the last two, Rob Rage against Raden Blain. I’m going to enjoy that beatdown

HS: So that’s the matches for the series, should be great

12-29-2011, 02:59 PM
RG: The next set of matchups involve two of Fury’s top superstars, Broc and Van Hooligan X

HS: These two have been having quite the rivalry over on Fury. Both of them have requested to face each other at the Supershow, but we’re not going to give that calibre of match on free TV, so they’ve booked it for our next PPV, Untamed Khaos. However, for the Supershow we have the next best thing, a new concept (we think), called a weapon of choice match

RG: Now unlike you may suspect a weapon of choice match isn’t some gimmicked hardcore match. It’s actually two regular singles matches. The “exciting part of it is” that each wrestler gets to pick their opponent’s opponent. Comprende? If not, read it again, just slower this time

HS: And if you didn’t get it the second time, have no fear, as Herbie Smith is here. Basically, Van Hooligan X will face an opponent of Broc’s choice, and vice versa. If you didn’t get it that time, try going to school, or ask your mum

RG: Well said

HS: Than-

RG: For a change.

HS: *Sigh* Well, time for my favourite part of the evening, Wacko Jacko!!!

RG: Really? Great…

*The camera is focused on a dancing Santa. It then lifts up and shows Jackson sat behind his desk laughing*

CJ: This is a Christmas message for members of EWA. And by members I mean Superstars, Production Staff and even the people who mop up the piss from the toilets. Mr McGiven has asked me to record this message because, and I quote, “I’m not wasting my time in speaking to those morons”. This of course, is EWA’s first Christmas and so far it has been quite a successful one. Fury has been doing well in the ratings, and recently we have celebrated the birth of EWA’s new brand Pain! Despite the fact that that twat Horus Black has been awarded the role of GM, I am looking forward to what Pain! will bring to the table.

Christmas is a time for family, and I am proud to be celebrating this festive season with my EWA family. Granted, I haven’t got off on the best foot with some members of the roster, but I’m sure that 2012 will bring us closer together.

I have received questions from some people regarding the relationship between myself and Mr McGiven. I am going to put an end to all the rumours right now and say that I only had sexual feelings for him a few years ago, and I assure you that despite the fact that I made a pass for him… I am merely bisexual. My Wife is aware of this and she has been quite relaxed regarding the discovery. So that is that and I guess I’m done…

Oh yeah! Don’t forget that my New Year’s Eve party starts at 6:30pm sharp and I would be grateful if you could all attend. I wish all of EWA a Merry Christmas and may I also wish you all the best for 2012.

*Christopher lies back in his chair and begins to unbutton his jacket*

Thank Christ that’s over! I didn’t even prepare a speech so I had no idea what to say! That ought to silence some of the idiots of the roster, like that insufferable Hanz Gruber. Was that ok Frank? Wait! What do you mean we’re still rolling!? You son of a…

*Christopher lunges across the table to shut off the camera and the screen goes to black*

12-30-2011, 05:57 AM
HS: There really is only one CJ

RG: And thank God for that, I couldn’t put up with two

HS: I don’t see how you don’t like him, he’s just brilliant. But hey, different strokes for different folks I guess. Moving on the next match we have to announce is a huge eight man tag team match

RG: Now read this slowly, because it may come off a little confusing. There will be two teams with two tag teams teaming each going up against the other two tag teams that they are teaming up again

HS: Now let me explain that in layman’s terms. Two of a Kind will be teaming up with the Panzer Division on one side. Their opponents will be the combined team of The Turnes and Il Cattivo

RG: My explanation was better. TOAK and Panzers will get an easy win there; I’m calling it now

HS: I’m expecting a very even contest that could go either way. Next up we have another tag match, a six man this time though, and from the other brand PAIN!

RG: After the events of the inaugural PAIN! episode, the GM Horus Black made this match. Silva had already made three enemies over there, the jobber twins

HS: Fuegos Artifiaciales

RG: And Harry Richards. However, that would be a three on one match, and Horus didn’t want to be looked at as unfair so he did the only logical thing and team Silva up with the only other tag team on the PAIN! roster, Destruction and Romao

HS: So basically it’s Destruction, Romao & Silva vs. Richards & Fuegos Artifiaciales. Should be a go-

RG: Squash match. One more match left to announce, and guess what, yet another tag team match. This time it’s just a regular one, and it involves the three biggest payers in the TV title division on Fury.

HS: After last week’s assault, Medeiros and Phenix will again be teaming up to try to gain some retribution against their assailants, G-Scorp and KiLLA. I’m expecting explosions.

RG: I’m expecting a squash

HS: Oh shut up. So that’s the card, make sure you tune in

Fury vs. PAIN! Series Match 1 - H.O.S. vs. Doug Baker

Fury vs. PAIN! Series Match 2 - Douglas Blake vs. Mike Muir

Fury vs. PAIN! Series Match 3 - Michael the Archangel vs. Gaileo

Fury vs. PAIN! Series Match 4 - Hanz Gruber vs. Ryku O'Ryan

Fury vs. PAIN! Series Match 5 - Rob Rage vs. Raden Blain

Weapon of Choice Match 1 - Broc vs. ???

Weapon of Choice Match 2 - Van Hooligan X vs. ???

PAIN! 6 Man Tag - Richards & Fuegos Artificiales vs. Silva, Destruction & Alpha Romao

Fury Tag Division 8 Man Tag Match - The Turnes & Il Cattivo vs. Two of a Kind & The Panzer Division

Fury TV Title Division Tag Match - Phenix & Medeiros vs. G-Scorp & KiLLA

12-30-2011, 06:00 AM
Herb: So that's about it for today. Thanks for tuning into this mini show, we're going to leave you with a message from the head writer Robareid

Robareid: Ooooo, gold, flashy. Just to tell all of you that it will be a bleeding miracle if the show is actually aired tomorow, as I'm yet to fucking start it. I'll be sending out the pms today, and probably make a start aswell, but I'd say ETA is around the 3rd. Sorry guys, you'll just have to imagine it's New Year's Eve

However, it's not all bad news, i've got some good news too. Eyehatecena is back on creative!!!!!!! He will be the head writer over on PAIN!, so be nice if you want a push lol

I guess that's about it, so have a happy New Year's Eve/Day, and thanks for reading another EWA show. Bye *waves*

01-07-2012, 02:02 PM
Time for the fillers

01-07-2012, 02:02 PM
I know you guys are going to enjoy this show, it's a damn good one

01-07-2012, 02:03 PM
This event may be epic, but it's not even a PPV. That honor will be bestowed onto Untamed Khaos

01-07-2012, 02:04 PM
Untamed Khaos is going to be just as epic as the New Years Eve Supershow, if not more

01-07-2012, 02:05 PM
You liking the hyping?

01-07-2012, 02:05 PM
Right, last filler. Suspend your imagination, it's officially New Years Eve in EWA world

Here goes

01-07-2012, 02:07 PM
EWA Live from the Mecca Madison Square Gardens’ New Year’s Eve (okay it’s a little late) Supershow


Official EWA Live from the Mecca theme – Empire State of Mind (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0UjsXo9l6I8)

*Pyro explodes around Madison Square Gardens*

Herb: Hello and welcome to EWA Live from the Mecca Madison Square Gardens in New York City! I’m Herbie Smith

Rich: And I’m Rich Goldman. What a night we have planned for you guys tonight on EWA’s first ever Supershow! We have a weapon of choice series of matchups, several huge tag team matchups and a huge cross brand series of matches

Herb: And that’s not even mentioning those creepy vignettes we’ve all been seeing regarding some Prophet dude arriving today. I wonder what sort of impact he will have

Rich: Yep, I think it’s fair to say that the show is well and truly stacked

Herb: You can say that again

Rich: Yep, I think it’s fair to say that the show is well and truly stacked

Herb: It’s a figure of speech Rich. *sighs* Anyway, to top all those great matches off we have something that could well turn out to be the highlight of the night

Rich: What’s this? *checks through notes* Nobody has informed me about anything like this

Herb: You obviously haven’t been paying attention to the discussion thread then. In fact, it was even mentioned on the roundup show the other day that we presented

Rich: What the hell are you talking about? Oh wait, you don’t mea-

Herb: It’s CJ’s New Year’s Eve Party!

Rich: Oh god…

*Mariah Carey’s “All I want for Christmas is you” is playing in the background. Jackson is singing and dancing along to it whilst he organises the party room. There is a knock on the door and Jackson looks towards it*

CJ: Who’s there?

*The door opens and in walks the PAIN! GM Horus Black. He looks around the room and laughs*

Black: I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that on the eve of such an important series of matches such the ones that are about to occur that instead of rallying you’re troops you are preparing some party, but for some reason I am. I see I’ll have to lower my expectations of you even further than the already low standards I had originally marked you down for. I guess you must have already resigned yourself and your pathetic excuse for a brand to the crushing defeat that my superior brand PAIN! will soon bring down upon you. Really though, a party, and a bad one at that. I see that childish behaviour rather suits your personality and more importantly your intellect

Jackson: What?

Black: Oh for heaven’s sake, you cannot even understand a simple sentence like that. That is pitiful. What I said, in terms that even someone of such poor intelligence of you can understand, is that you are childish

Jackson: I know you are but what am I?

Black: *sighs* It’s sad that a brand with such promise should be unlucky enough to be landed with a general manager with the complete and utter incompetence of the likes of you. However, at this rate they soon won’t have that burden, as you will soon be fired. And then who better to take over the responsibilities of Fury than me

Jackson: You think you’re so tough don’t you? Walking around thinking you’re it because your last name is also the name of a colour… Well you know what Horus Black rhymes with? Borus Slack. Granted it’s not an insult but it’s a shit name none the less! You told me that I was to stay off of PAIN! because it wasn’t my show, so I’m telling you to stay off of FURY! because it’s my show! Now please leave my Office before I have Security escort you out.

Black: We’re not on Fury though, are we? We’re on a dual branded Supershow, where in theory I have just as much power as you. In reality however, I have much more pull, as people look up to me, while they look down on you.

Jackson: Well… well… This is still my office, and I want you to get out!

Black: *Horus lets out a smug laugh* Oh but Christopher, I thought this party of yours had an open invitation. *laughs again* Don’t worry, I will leave, but I’ll leave you with this message. You lost your dignity a long time ago, tonight you lose the series, and soon, you shall lose your job

*As Horus turns to leave, Christopher suddenly thinks of a comeback and yells it at him*

Jackson: Well at least I’ve lost my virginity!

*Horus leaves the room with a piercing look at Jackson. Christopher walks up to the door and slams it shut. He walks back over to his "Dirty Pants" collection and stares at it thoughtfully. A few minutes pass and then there is a loud bang. Christopher turns around and the door flies open. KiLLA walks in, looks around the room and then approaches Christopher*

KiLLA: Ya wan help here Jacko?

CJ: Err, no thanks... What do you want?

KiLLA: Dis here is KiLLA hometown... Dis here is NYC!

CJ: I know that we're in New York. Just tell me what you want!

*Before KiLLA can speak however, 4 more people walk into the room all dressed up in gangster gear. One of them is carrying a black bag that is jerking around violently. Jackson eyes it up suspiciously*

CJ: And who are these people?

KiLLA: Dis is my Crew... My entourage.

*One of KiLLA's entourage steps forward*

KE: Greetings Mr Jackson. KiLLA, what do you want us to do with this bag? It's awfully heavy and I'm afraid it keeps bumping into us.

*Christopher bursts out laughing. KiLLA glares at him*

KiLLA: Wat's so funny?

CJ: Well their hardly gangster like are they? What's in the bag anyway?

KE: One of the arena's sound technicians


KE: He was giving KiLLA an evil glare though

CJ: But that's no reason to put him in the bag! For God's sake, get out of here before someone thinks I've organised this! Go on get out!

*KiLLA and his entourage leave the room*

CJ: *Stands still for a minute* I need a piss

*He leaves the room to go to the toilet. As soon as he has left the room however, KiLLA and his entourage re - enter the room and grab all the food and drink from the tables. They leave the room laughing their heads off. A few minutes pass by and Jackson comes back into the room. He spots that the food and drink has gone missing and sinks to his knees*

CJ: Fuck. My. Life.

Herb: Wow, you just have to love CJ

Rich: You have to love KiLLA. By God what a man!

Herb: Um… okay… Moving on, it’s time for the first of the five matches in the Fury vs. PAIN! series

Representing Fury (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u8isKsULUNo)

*HOS jumps through the ring in excitement hoping this week is a lot better than the last*

HOS: Ladies and gentlemen welcome to the NYE Supershow featuring the best from both brands hoping for bragging rights as the best brand in EWA.

*crowd gives slight reaction*

HOS: Hey guys come on we are live at the MECCA show us some love

*HOS's cheap ploy at a pop is rewarded as crowd is going nuts*

HOS: Now I am honoured to be representing fury in this first match against Doug baker from pain I have not seen much of this guy but he doesn’t look like a pushover and I have been on a bit of a losing role but that ends TONIGHT.

*More cheers from this slightly pro FURY crowd*

HOS: Tonight, Henry Ormond Stevens aka The Higher Octane Superstar aka HOS goes into overdrive and is going to literally fly all over this ring and Doug Baker will not know what hits him and when I win tonight, Fury will start the white wash in this series I guarantee it. Because when HOS gets in the ring, he goes Octane!

Run but you can’t hide! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pg09uMx-7ZY&feature=related)

Two men walk out onto the ramp. The first of them is a portly dude, going around six foot two and three hundred pounds. The second is thinner, around the same height but around fifty pounds lighter to look at, so by no means a small man but next to the first he looks rather petite. They both have mics in hands and a PO’d expression on their faces

The thinner one: Oh, Doug, I see we have ourselves a cocky knobhead

Doug: Seems fuckin’ so doesn’t it Tommy boy. Well, I’m more than happy to wipe that cocky smile off his face with my god dam size eighteen.

Tom: Sounds like a plan Doug, sounds like a plan. Wait, one second, before we beat the greenness off of this dickhead, we need to remember our manners. We need to introduce ourselves to the company before we rape it

Doug: Ah yes, wouldn’t want to come off as impolite now would we? My name, is Doug Baker, and I’m from Newcastle, a city a little bit like New York, in the fact that it begins with new, but that’s about it. And that fat old git over there goes by the name of Tom Butcher, and a more badass S.O.B. you will have a task to find

Tom: And I’m from the beautiful city of Nottingham, which has even less in common with New York. The only similarity is the capital of the cities, they’re both N.

Doug: If that was a joke, it was shit

Tom: Oh shut the fuck up, get down that ring and kill that “face”!

Doug: Well if you insist

*Doug Baker runs down the ramp and into the ring, and the ref rings the bell*



*stop watching 5:32*

Herb: What the hell! After the ref got taken out by the feet of Doug Baker, Douglas Blake just hit the ring and hit a huge STO on HOS

Rich: Brilliant wasn’t it

Blake slides out of the ring while Tom Butcher throws the ref back into the ring. Baker makes the pin




01-07-2012, 02:08 PM
Douglas Blake nearly has a fit on the ramp, shocked that his interference didn’t cost HOS the matchup

Rich: Dammit that was unfair!

Herb: Wow, did you really just say that the outside interference was unfair?

Rich: No you dickhead, I was talking about the slow count. Biased officiating

Baker pulls HOS to his feet and whips him into the corner then charges at him

Herb: This is going to hurt

At the last second, H.O.S. moves out of the way and Baker charges straight into the turnbuckle. HOS then whips him into the opposite turnbuckle and


Rich: Wow, huge uru-nage!




Rich: Yeah!!!!!! The HOS losing streak continues

Herb: With a little bit of help from Blake but a great showing from the debutant Doug Baker

Rich: Hell yeah it was a great showing! But then again it was against H.O.S., so a win was expected

Herb: He’s been unlucky recently, that one truly could have gone either way

Rich: But it didn’t, did it? He lost yet again. Jobber. Now it’s time for a break

<<<Commercial Break>>>

Back from the break and the camera is on Ashley Ion. HOS storms past but Ashley runs after him

Ashley: Hey, HOS can I get your thoughts on the match. I’m Ashley Ion an-

HOS: I know exactly who you are you no good talentless hack of an interviewer, you want my thoughts? Forget it... you gonna get my feelings. Douglas Blake you selfish, egotistical little child. Just what the hell are you thinking? Alright you hate me and I don’t like you either but for you to cost Fury a match... Well you must be one low life scum? What is your problem anyway? Mummy stopped breastfeeding you when you were 8? Did your girlfriend cheat on you? whatever your deal is I’ve had enough of your crap, you wanna run around and cost me a match well just like I said last week you’ll get what’s coming to you

HOS then walks off, still looking pissed leaving Ashley standing there looking offended

Herb: Well that was quite uncharacteristic

Rich: That was almost good, I’m almost impressed with the little jobber

Herb: I’m sure he’s just frustrated, you have my apology on behalf of him Ashley, I think you’re a great commentator

Rich: You’re clearly just trying to get laid Herb. Ashley, you’re a hoe!

*Herb slaps Rich*

Rich: Ouch!

Herb: Moving on, we’re going to go to Medeiros’ lockeroom, where we’re going to get his thoughts on the upcoming tag match

Jack Phenix walks into Brandon Medeiros' lockeroom

Jack: Hey Brandon, Thanks for saving my ass back at Bloodbath, I was in a quite the predicament if you know what I mean, and if you want I’ll try my best to repay you, but first we have a match tonight against the tag champs so we best get ready.

Brandon: yeah don't worry about it, and yeah I just heard about our tag match tonight hopefully we work well as a team.
Jack: Yeah, maybe if we win tonight you can get a shot at my title, but anyway, we should probably watch out for Killa, he’s gonna be pretty pissed after what happened at Bloodbath
Brandon: Ha....don't worry about that fag "Killa" I dare that pussy to attack me again.

Jack: and if he does he will have both of us to contend with, ok I’ll see you later for our match

Brandon: Peace out man

*Jack Phenix walks out of the lockeroom as Brandon begins taping his wrists, getting ready for his match*

Herb: Well these two are on the same page, and they’ve had a fair amount of experience teaming with each other now. I’d say they have the advantage

Rich: You’re forgetting one thing Herb

Herb: What’s that?

Rich: Talent, and that is where G-Scorp and KiLLA have the advantage

Here comes the number one contender (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cBqT3CoXoDM)

G-Scorp walks into the ring looking all business as he brings the mic ever so slowly to his mouth, inciting the crowd.

G-Scorp: There are a few things that I want to clear up straight away as a lot of stupid people have been asking a lot of stupid questions and an even bigger idiot has made an even worse decision. Straight of the bat, I have no allegiance to Two of a Kind despite attending there wrestling school what I did last week was in my best interests so you can quit that thought right now.

The next thing I want to address is my allegiance to Killa.... again there is none. Now I have a lot of respect for Killa as he’s a lot like me, big mouthed and cocky yet can back it up in the ring but last week as I have already stated, it was my business I was dealing with.

I have an issue with Jack Phenix, he has yet to impress me and he doesn’t deserve to be champion, but I do.... so I made a statement just like I did I’m my tag team match with Blake and just like I did in the triple threat match at bloodbath.

So after my attack on Phenix Dickhead Jacko decides that Killa and I would make a decent tag team. Maybe we will and maybe we won’t but Killa a warning to you.... stay out of my way and we are cool... if you do not heed my words I will sting you like only the G-Scorp can.

Now back to you Phenix, enjoy your title and enjoy your time in the lime light because when you act like a bitch, the top dog bites and if you don’t like that then come with me.

And his partner, The “his teacher would not be pleased with that grammer” KiLLA (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rRbJS7AYEvc&)

KiLLA makes his way down the ramp and into the ring and stares down G-Scorp

KiLLA: Let Me Start This Off With a Couple of Laughs ..haha hehe hoho,.. SMIRK.

Now Enough Of The Funny Bizness and On To You Bitches, Like I Said Ya Wanna Be a Couple,.. its wateva ya kno I don't Care watcha Do hidin in datt closet back at the Phenis and Brandy's Mediesoon Cribo, But wen ya wanna group up And Get At Me, At Me ..And I Don't Even Swing datt Way... Ya Just Callin to Get Gutted!...

One Thing is Gettin At Me , I Couldn't Care Less if it’s Fair or Not. Jump me ,stab me ,shoot me leave me Alive wud be ya mistake u heard me ,cuz at da end of the day if I'm breathin ,walkin ,talkin ..HA,, ain't no orders goin out to da fam with a price on ya head, naaw... I'm Comin to KILL YOU MYSELF!..when I Say Kill I mean it and Slowly ...so slow as in yankin datt Eye and puttin it in yo mouf while u tied up yeeaaa..I mean Breakin your Neck and spinnin you around on a rollie Chair ,yeaaa, Hahaha , Ah Man I Mean Burning you with a Torch Melting Ya Onto Each Other....I'm Ruthless and If It’s One Thing G-Scorp Should and Will Know...When I Want Sumthin Done I Gets Da job Dun, And When I Want Sumthin ..it Becomes Mines...See me Shine on Da TV Screen Wit Da TV Piece...Strap on da Arm , and Strap'd on Da Waist ,No Armor...Ya Don't Gotta See KiLLA..KiLLa is Comin to See YA......

Brandy Will Die Soon...And Jackie Phenis *Cold Killer Face* Your TiTle Will Be Tookin and Your LiFe Will Be Tookin.....Yo G-Scorp Fuck All da Noise...INCREASE THE MURDER RATE

Rich: What inte-

Herb: Oh shut up!

Here come Pheneiros (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KfJwXiElJKw)

Herb: These guys are clearly out for retribution here tonight

Rich: That’s funny… They’ll be lucky to survive this match, let alone get retribution

*ignore pre match*


*stop watching 10:40*

Rich: Big clothesline from G-Scorp to Phenix

Medeiros hits a big dropkick on G-Scorp, knocking him out of the ring.

Herb: Ye-

KiLLA flattens Medeiros with a huge running headbutt

Herb: Oh…

He picks up Brandon, and puts him in the piledriver position

Rich: Here comes the finish

Jack Phenix then hits a diving dropkick off the top rope, knocking KiLLA down. Brandon, who is now standing at KiLLA’s feet, jumps the length of him and delivers a leg drop to his head. Both men go for the pin



KiLLA throws both of them off of him

Herb: Damn that was close

KiLLA crawls to the corner and Brandon whips Phenix at him. KiLLA meets him halfway though, and lays him out with a huge clothesline

As KiLLA charges Brandon, Brandon ducks then follows up with a hurricanrana pin

Rich: No, not like this!


G-Scorp jumps into the ring


Just before the ref can make his third count, G-Scorp hits him with a punch right in the mush and the pin turns over




Rich: Yes! Great win by KiLLA & G-Scorp!

01-07-2012, 02:10 PM
Herb: What the hell happened there? I mean, I’m sure G-Scorp’s punches are good but hell, not that good

Rich: *chuckles* You clearly didn’t see what he was doing when he got knocked out the ring then

Herb: No, what?

Rich: Popping on a good old pair of brass knux

Herb: Bastard!
Rich: If the ref doesn’t see it, it ain’t cheating

G-Scorp quickly exits the ring so that the ref doesn’t discover his underhanded tactics, but KiLLA continues to pound away on Medeiros

Herb: And this is the reason I don’t like this guy. He’s great in the ring, and clearly has a lot of passion for the wrestling business, but there is no need for post-match attacks such as this

Content with the beating put on Medeiros, KiLLA turns his attention towards Phenix who is still on the mat. He lays in the boots, then kicks him under the bottom rope and off the apron

Rich: That’s right KiLLA, take out the trash

KiLLA then does his signature cutthroat taunt, but behind him, Brandon kips up to a big reaction from the crowd.

Hearing the crowd reaction, KiLLA turns around… STRAIGHT INTO A SUPERKICK

Herb: Boom! He’s out

Rich: Dammit, dammit, dammit

<<<Commercial Break>>>

Rich: Dammit, dammit, dammit

Herb: *Talking over Rich* Welcome back and yes, Rich is still saying dammit

Rich: Dammit, dammit, dammit

*Herb pulls the wire out that connects Rich’s headset to the sound. He doesn’t notice, and continues to cuss, but it is less audible*

Herb: Ah, that’s a lot better now. Now time to go and see what Douglas Blake has to say for himself

Douglas Blake is in the back, mic in hand, with a very cocky look on his face

Blake: Shut up you pathetic piss ants. Tonight I continue my path of destruction. But first I had to have a little fun with H.O.S., now comes the real fun. Tonight I will destroy my opponent. I will end his career. I'll do it all without breaking a sweat. Hell I’ll do it blind folded. But I will enjoy making another human being beg me for mercy. Now for my next victim.

Rich: Wow, Blake is great… I just want to apologise now viewers, I don’t know what happened there, but somehow my cabal managed to slip out there. But don’t worry; I managed to fix the problem, so you can all hear my voice again. Oh how I’d love to be you… That is, if I wasn’t me, because there are only two things better than listening to me, and they’re having sex with me, and being me

Herb: Okay… that was a little weird… Let’s move on. We just heard from Douglas Blake, so we’re now going to hear from the other half of that matchup; Mike Muir

Ashley: I am back here with Mike Muir who made an impressive showing in the tournament foe the PAIN! Heavyweight Championship. Tonight on EWAs New Year’s Supershow you are taking on Douglas Blake. Are you ready for him? Do you have a strategy?

Mike Muir: Well yes I do Ashley. It’s simple, he is a big man but with his limited repertoire I will just out wrestle him. I’ve seen his kind time and time again- and they are all the same. I sure hope Blake watched my debut match against Destruction so he knows what is coming his way. And before I go, I just want to wish you and all the viewers a very Happy New Years. New York is the best city to celebrate it in.

Herb: What a genuinely nice guy

Rich: What a dickhead, if he wins here I’ll eat my hat

Herb: You’re not wearing a hat

Here comes the second Doug of the night (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PGVyenDWVfc) (and for everybody’s reference, he’s not British)

Rich: Well, after that pitiful performance by HOS, Fury is 1-0 down. Luckily however, we have Douglas Blake here to save the day

Herb: He was the one who cost HOS the match in the first place. Jesus Christ you have a selective memory.

And representing PAIN!, Mike Muir (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AvTrOGSJlWY)

Herb: I mean, I’m all for Douglas getting the win for us, but beating this Mike Muir is going to be easier said than done

Rich: He’s not in the same league as Blake, why do you think he’s on the B brand?


*Stop watching 12:07*

Douglas Blake ducks Muir’s running lariat but instead he hits the ref who was standing behind him

Mike Muir looks stunned, and bends over to check on the ref. A sly smile appears on Blake’s face and he runs up to Muir and punts Muir

Rich: Ouch!

Herb: Right in the crown jewels

Rich: After that, I’d be surprised if we get to see any little Muirs entering the world

Muir is now on his knees grabbing his crotch area in obviously crippling pain. Blake just laughs, then runs into the ropes, bounces off and hits a front flip piledriver! (Canadian Destroyer)

Rich: Wow! Sick move, it’s over!

Blake goes for the pin. Muir is clearly out but the ref is still on the outside after taking that lariat from Muir

Herb: Well, maybe not then

Blake curses in anger and leaves the ring. He lifts the ref to his feet and rolls him into the ring but as he is about to get into the ring HOS jumps the guardrail chair in hand and blasts him to the back of the head sending him sprawling

Rich: What the hell! This guy is costing his own brand a match

Herb: Double standards much?

As Blake tries to crawl away HOS hits him with another chair shot, this time to the back. He then drags Blake over to the barricade, and leans him against it. He gives him the chair, and positions it in front of his face. He then takes several steps backwards and prepares to charge at Blake

Herb: This isn’t going to end well

HOS charges headlong towards Blake and hits a running dropkick to the chair, send it straight into Blake’s face and the force of the blow sends him backwards over the barricade

HOS then jump the barricade and runs off into the crowd. In the meantime, the ref has just made his way to his feet. He looks around confused, then begins the count


Rich: Come on Douglas, you can make it back in


Herb: Still no movement from him


We see a hand reach up from the over side of the barricade

Rich: That’s more like it, come on Doug!


Douglas pulls his head up above the barricade and it’s not a pretty sight. Blood is spurting everywhere from what looks like a pretty nasty gash to the head and his nose looks broken too

Rich: Oh… Ah… Oh dear


Douglas manages to hoist himself up onto his feet, but he doesn’t exactly look all there

Herb: Even if he does make it back into the ring, he doesn’t look in any fit state to be competing


He tries to get over the barricade, but instead he falls over it, collapsing in a heap

Rich: We may need some medical personal out here very soon


Douglas still isn’t moving

Herb: In fact, I think we need medical personal out here right now


Douglas then begins crawling towards the ring

Rich: Don’t count him out just yet


Douglas reaches the ring apron and attempts to get up to his feet

10, that’s it ring the bell

Douglas collapses in a heap as medical personnel run down the ramp to attend to him.

Rich: Well, what a valiant effort that was, but nevertheless Muir and PAIN! got the win, and Fury is now 2-0 down. We can’t afford to lose another one

Herb: We’re going to be taking a commercial break now, but when we get back, we’ve got another segment with the one and only… Wacko Jacko!!!

Rich: Oh joy…

<<<Commercial Break>>>

01-07-2012, 02:12 PM
*Van walks along the corridor to the GM’s Office, where the New Year’s Party is taking place. He walks in to see absolutely no-one there apart from the GM himself, Christopher Jackson.

CJ: Ah! Finally! I knew people were appearing fashionably late!

*Chris then attempts a forced laugh before looking down*...

For 3 hours.

Van: Oh I’m not stopping. I was just seeing if Broc was here to...wish him a New Year.

CJ: Awww c'mooon! You'll have a good time! I promise.

*A big cheesy grin is on Chris' face*

Van: Are you okay?...That face looks like you're in a lot of pain.

CJ: I will be if someone doesn't stay at this party. Pleeeease.

Van: No, I'm..um..washing my...err...house.

CJ: Again?! Aww pleeeeaaase! I'll be in a lot of trouble if you don't help me out here!!

*Chris then proceeds to go on his knees and grabs Van’s sides of his new shirt. (Which can be bought at all great shops that sell EWA merchandise. Now you can be the Vanity. Buy now and receive a free doll of Hanz Gruber!) He then gets on his knees and looks up and Van*

CJ: I'm not asking for much here!!

Van: Good God man, have some pride in your work.

*Van doesn't realise that the EWA Owner Mr. McGiven is right behind Van and sees Chris on his knees near Vans crotch*

MM: Pride in his work hmm?

*Van turns round whilst Chris gets back up, sadly Mr McGiven cannot see that this is a misunderstanding as when he sees Van turning around he covers his eyes*

CJ: Sir! It's not what you think!

MM: Christopher I want you in my Office Monday morning.

*He quickly leaves the room so he can forget all about what he just saw*

Van: ...Dude! What the hell! Now the owner thinks we like each other!

CJ: You don't like me?

*A huge frown is on Chris' face as if he's heard the worst news ever*

Van: It's always about you isn't it? Wait...I'm not having this conversation! I'm leaving!

CJ: Wait please! I’ve put a lot into this party and it would be a shame if it went to waste.

*Van looks around the room, which basically looks the same as the original Office apart from a few balloons and banners on the walls*

Van: Yeah, I can see how much effort you’ve put in…. But what’s in it for me?

CJ: Apart from a great time?!

*He has a massive smile on his face, although you can tell he's trying to convince himself too*

Van: Yeah apart from a great time!!

*Van copies the massive smile Chris had on his face before going back to normal*

CJ: How about a match whenever you want it, with any stipulation you want.

Van: Hmm… Any time? Any stipulation? You got yourself a deal.

CJ: Yaaay!!! *Hugs Vans*

Van: Can I have my personal space back now?!

Herb: I just love CJ, he really makes my day

Rich: That’s weird

Herb: Not as weird as you and KiLLA. Next up is a match involving the four top tag teams on Fury. We’re first going to get some words from The Turnes. See you on the other side

The Turnes are in the back with mics in hands. They’re both wearing the new Turne tops available at EWA shop.com


Luke: Finally, we get another match at Two of A Kind. Too bad it's not for the Tag Titles. But back to good news, we also get a chance against the Panzer Division. AND, we get to tag with Il Cattivo.


As the Turnes leave, Il Cattivo move into the camera shot

Uliose: Hey you Doing up in this mother?

*Crowd chants*

Roberto: He said how yall doing in this mother

Uliose: I think they know what i said.

Roberto i was just emphasising it like the rappers do

Uliose: Roberto... have I not told you 100 times before that rap audiences are stupid and therefore need to be repeated things three times to get what the gangsters are saying

Roberto: They are not stupid Uliose... they are high on that sticky icky icky

*crowd giggles*

Uliose: Your high shut the fuck up you stupid wog

*crowd bursts into hysterics*

Uliose: I’m going to get serious for a minute, Turnes it’s no secret we feel we deserve a shot at the EWA world tag team titles more then you, but we have no beef with you. So tonight, we plan our assault on the Tag Team Champions, Two of a Kind. Yes they are undefeated and looking unstoppable but we all know in the wrestling world it’s all about confidence.... and a team is only as strong as there weakest link and Two Of A Kind have a very weak link in The Pansy Division

Roberto: That’s right, so Turnes

Uliose: I’m warning you Roberto

Roberto: ??????

Uliose: do not steal my Pansy line

Roberto: Ok ok Gee whiz apple fizz. Turnes, tonight we work as a team and we can defeat the TOAKers and the Prancer division and build momentum for our respective title admirations because losing isn’t winning, winning is winning

Rich: They’re all dickheads. TOAK and the Panzers have this in the bag

Speaking of TOAK (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C--gpM2BIW8)

Two of a King make their way to the ring, mics in hand

KW: Here’s another joke as we like to tell you jokes

PC: Lay it on me Kid

KW: What’s got one heart, No brains and can barely run a 100 metre sprint let alone a wrestling company

PC: Jeff Jarret?

KW: No you idiot.... actually yes your right but that’s not the answer I was going for, the answer is Christopher Jackson.

*Crowd starts chanting Wacko Jacko*

KW: Typical Madison Square Garden fans I would have thought, chanting for the losers.

*huge you suck chants*

Well I’m no psychic but if the pattern of you guys cheering for losers is anything to go by then clearly you will be cheering for the ill crap on your turnips tonight against the Dual inaugural World tag team champions... Two of A Kind and two other guys

PC: If our wanted a real match then you hold have made it Two of a Kind VS the ill crap on your turnips and pansies and then it would have been a hard fought match for us..... None the less tonight there will be some positives, like we will defeat yet again tonight the former and current No 1 contenders but this time we will do it in the same night.

KW: And on the financial sides millions and millions around the world will get to witness the greatest tag team wrestling today at work and Panzer division, as you sit ring side maybe you’ll learn a thing or two about true tag team wrestling and then millions will want to attend our T.O.A.K. academy then maybe one day there will be a team worthy of making us sweat. Because we are Two of a Kind and we mean Businesssssssss!

And their partners… with a bit of eye candy on the side (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Zym9N-I5F4)

*A very stunning woman dressed in a black skintight shirt, and short black miniskirt makes her way to the ring with a mic in one hand, a clipboard in the other. Some in the crowd are whistling at her, while some are shouting for her to show them her puppies*

Rich: All I can say is WOW, just look at that. That’s perfection

Herb: Ok, first you have a thing for Killa, now for this lady. I will admit, she is very hot so I understand that, but I am concerned about your thing for Killa. I wonder who this is though.

Rich: I do not have a thing for Killa, not in that way. With him…

Herb: Hold that thought Rich. Looks like she is about to say something.

Barbie: My god, you American fans sure are pigs, much worse than the swine in England. None of you here in New York would stand a chance landing a woman like me- beautiful, smart, successful and wealthy. Speaking of being successful, throughout Europe I have managed many a talent to gold. Of course all the rednecks here in America have probably never heard of any of them because if it’s not EWA, HWA, BWA, AWF, WWE, ROH, TNA or JBW- the rest of the wrestling world does not exist. So for the benefit of all you losers, I will not bore you with a list of them.

*crowd is shouting show me your puppies! Show me your puppies!*

*teases the crowd by lifting her shirt a little, then pulls it down and flips off the crowd, the crowd starts booing her now*

Rich: Dammit. I hate cock teasers. Speaking of……

Herb: Um, Rich, please do not……

Rich: I am, umm, just adjusting my pants, that’s all, really. [/COLOR]

Herb: All righty then.

01-07-2012, 02:13 PM
Barbie: Ha ha, you’re all idiots. You guys don’t get to see shit. Oh, and by the way, I do not mean to be so rude, allow me to introduce myself, my name is Ute, but everybody calls me Barbie due to the fact that some idiot from Pro Wrestling Illustrated confused me with Barbie Blank, who most of you know as Kelly Kelly in WWE. Ms Blank just wishes she were me. Anyways the name stuck. But let me just get straight to the point as to why I am here, there is a tag team here that got in touch with me that said they seemed to be in somewhat of a losing streak in this fed. They were wanting some guidance, someone to work through all the backstage politics so all the had to do was wrestle and sometimes do interviews with that dumb blonde backstage.

Rich: Hey, that’s our dumb blonde she is talking about.

Herb: Ashley is a very lovely lady, smarter that you will ever be.

Rich: Go fuck yourself Herbie.

Barbie: Normally I would never lower myself to coming to such a little league fed such as this, but this team is different. That team is the Panzer Division. What’s different about them is they are the real thing. When I first started out managing wrestlers, those two guys helped guide me through it all, making sure my clients or the promoters in the feds never took advantage of me. They taught me the ins and outs of this business. Everything I learned, I owe to them. On top of all that, they are family. Karl and Oli are my older brothers. So when they called, I dropped everything. With me behind them, they will regain their focus here and soon hold gold. I also plan to scout out other talent here in EWA to add to my clientele. So those interested best be showing me their best- I have no time for losers. But first things first, allow me to introduce the new Panzer Division.

*Panzers come out to their theme song*

*Panzers enter the ring with mics in hand and give little sister a hug*

Rich: Looks like the old Panzers, only with a hot new addition.

Herb: This is one of those rare times when I agree with you Rich.

Rich: Which thanks, er I think.

Karl: It’s nice to have you here Barbie, with all you have accomplished we felt it was time to bring you in just to give us that extra edge. Someone to keep us on the straight and narrow. Someone to take care of all the backstage bullshit.

Oli: Ja, it’s because of all the politics backstage as to why we are not the rightful number one contenders. But with you by our side Barbie, that changes today.



*Ignore after 2:54*

Herb: Wow, three dives to the outside and the only guys left in the ring are Rob Turne and Kid Wonder

Rob whips Wonder into the ropes but he holds on. Rob charges at Wonder but he gets the boots up and follows it up with a huge clothesline. Wonder then picks him up, traps him in a reverse headlock and drops him down into a Kidnapped (Reverse DDT).



Uliose Pamich breaks it up. He picks him up then takes a step back then nails him with a superkick

Before Uliose can go for the cover, Karl Panzer is in the ring and delivers a nasty running big boot knocking him out of the ring

Rich: This action is too damn fast to call

Luke is now in the ring, and he spears the shit out of Karl. But before he can cover, guess what? Paul Conrad’s in the ring


Rich: Wow, what the hell was that?

Herb: Another goddamn awesome move, that’s what! Holy shit this match is awesome


Herb: 720 DDT! 720 DDT!!!!!!!!!!!!! What a move from the younger Pamich




Oli Panzer breaks it up

Rich: These two are the last left standing, no more covers to be broken up now

Oli pulls Roberto up to his feet, but he fights back with some roundhouse kicks to the calves and stomach

Roberto then runs into the ropes, ducks a clothesline from Oli and springboards off of the opposite ropes into a roundhouse kick

Herb: This could be it



Oli kicks out

Rich: It takes more than that to take out an athlete the calibre of Oli

Roberto rolls to the apron, and grabs onto the top rope waiting for Oli Panzer to make it back to his feet

Herb: Could he be going for another 720 DDT? Nobody is going to get up from that

The Panzer gets to his feet, and jumps but Barbie Panzer grabs his foot, preventing him from completing the springboard. He lands on the apron unharmed, but the ref sees it and ejects her from ringside.
Rich: That’s no way to treat a lady ref

With Barbie gone, Roberto attempts the manoeuvre again, but with the delay Oli has had time to recuperate. As Roberto get onto the top rope Oli pushes his legs out from under him and catches him on his back.

Herb: Seems she’s done the damage though

Alabama slam!




Rich: Yeah! Big win from the Panzers!

Herb: I hate cheats, but I have to agree, that was a big win for them… Pity they couldn’t do it without outside interference. And now it's time for another Fury vs Pain match, Michael "The Archangel" from Fury is against Gaileo from Pain, see you after the break

<<<Commercial Break>>>

01-07-2012, 02:13 PM
Michael the Archangel is in the back, mic in hand

Michael The Archangel: So the very first EWA Supershow is here! And it's fantastic to be here with all of you. I see great talent over there at PAIN. Tonight I how a match against Gaileo? Can someone tell me who that is? I haven't seen him to be impressed but if they feel he can step in the ring with me then he must be worth a challenge. But I have turn my attention to Hanz. Hanz since day one you've been a thorn in my side always saying I'd never be good enough and that the only reason I'm here is because of my brothers. Hanz I've proved you wrong. I'm no longer that insecure little boy who thought he couldn't make it in this business. At Bloodbath I proved I can an Hanz you're just jealous and guess what Jealousy is an ugly bitch and I'll be sure to humble you. And after that I'll get my rightful place as the Fury World Heavyweight Champion.

RG: I can't believe I'm going to say this, but come on Archangel, Fury needs this win,

HS: We certanly do, If 1 person can stop the psycopath Gaileo, it's the former number 1 contender for the World Title, Michael "The Archangel". However we can't rule out Gaileo, last week on Pain, he destroyed completly Taco and Paco Torres.

RG: You can say that again, and you can also watch that again, I did several times after I went home. And don't forget the timekeeper, he's still in hospital.

HS: And not the mental one Gaileo came from.

Gaileo is here (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7u8gQMD2UGw)

Herb: Here comes another of our resident psychos here in EWA

Rich: We do have a fair few don’t we…

Gaileo: Let me tell you all 1 thing, and that is that I only care for 1 type of pain, and that is the pain I will inflict on YOU. Soon, everyone will end up like the timekeeper on the 1st episode of Pain, and that is unconscious, lying on the floor, with me standing high over you. This is what will happen, when I win the title Tournament on Pain, and become the inaugural, Pain World Heavyweight Championship. Let me tell you all about Pain

*Points at 2 fat members of the crowd*

Gaileo: You the "female" one. Come here. How much do you weigh, about what, 20 stone? Well, I'll bet you'll be glad to know that he's been sleeping with a 26 stone woman.

*Man and woman talk of mic, woman starts crying*

Oh calm down, calm down, and let me put you out of your misery

*Gaileo hits a chop block then locks in the figure four*


*Man runs in, but he's tired out already, Gaileo locks in the sleeper*


*Gaileo stands up the man, then hits a body slam*


Herb: Crazy, a complete nutjob!

RG: Nice t-shirt he's got on, it even looks like real blood.

HS: Wasn't that the same shirt he wore when he attacked Fuegos Artificiales

RG: Oh shit, I think I better run

No fear, Archangel is here (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i6PFAnOYZ-M)

RG: Oh great, they have a unstoppable monster and we have a man who jobbed to someone who was stupid enough to get Perma-Banned

HS: That was only his agent, Alex Kidd hasn't done anything wrong

RG: I know that, Alex Kidd is 1 of my favourite wrestlers. Pau on the other hand

HS: Just stop this now and just call the match like we're being paid to do

RG: Me more than you


1:52 - 5:55

R.G Great neckbraker there by Gaileo, kickout Archangel




HS: Oh, I thought he was down and out there. I wonder what Gaileo will do now

*Gaileo goes in to pick him out but Archangel reverses it*

HS: Small package. Small Package.



Thre.. No Kickout

RG: Ooh, that was close.

HS: Both are getting to their feet.

*Archangel his the saviours way*




HS: Archangel does it, Archangel does it!

Rich: Finally, Fury manage to get a win… pity it’s this dick though

Herb: I can tell your torn between wanting it to be proved you’re on the better brand and your hate for Archangel, it’s actually quite amusing

Rich: I’ll tell you what’s amusing… YA MUM!

Herb: Wow, comeback of the year goes to…

Rich: Oh shut up you dickhead. Talking of dickheads, I’m being told we have to go to another of those ridiculous New Year’s Eve party segments from that dickhead Christopher Jackson

01-07-2012, 02:14 PM
Herb: Yay!

*Christopher and Van are standing around, with the sense of an awkward silence hanging above them. Christopher goes to open his mouth several times but closes it as if he is lost for words. They are both silent for a few more minutes and then...*

CJ: Wanna play a game?

Van: *Sighs* What game?

CJ: Well my nephew brought me an XBOX 360 for Christmas so I assume we can play on that

Van: Depends. What games you got? COD? Fifa? WWE 12?

CJ: Nope!

*He turns around and starts to root around in a bag before brandishing a game*


Van: Oh Christ...

CJ: Come on! It's really good! You get to meet Mickey and Donald and Goofy and...

Van: I don't care Chris, I just don't care...

*Van looks around the room*

Van: You got any beer or food?

CJ: Not exactly but there's a funny story behind that!

Van: *In a sarcastic tone* Really!? I can't wait to hear that!

CJ: After I'd put out all the beer and food, I really needed the toilet. So I went to the toilet and by the time I came back, it was all gone. *Starts to laugh awkwardly*

Van: So there isn't anything to eat or drink?

CJ: Well I do have tap water. And I suppose I could go and get us a chocolate bar from the vending machine outside. Would you like a Willy Wonka Whipple-Scrumptious Fudgemallow Delight?

Van: *Grabs Christopher by his clothes* Are you trying to ask me to have sex with you?

CJ: No, no, no! It's just that that's my favourite chocolate bar and I really wanted to get it.

Van: Ok, ok... go and get your stupid chocolate bar.

CJ: Will you still be here?

Van: Yes, I will.

CJ: Promise?

Van: Promise.

*Christopher goes to walk out the door but stops*

CJ: Can you lend me some money for the vending machine?

Rich: Wow, Van looks nearly as bored as I feel. At least he’s getting something out of it though. A choice of stipulation for a match of his choice, that is well worth having

Herb: You’re right it is, but he’d get a lot more enjoyment out of the night if he just relaxed and went along with the fun

Rich: You’re so weird Herb… Speaking of weird people, we’re now going to get a promo from a weird guy in himself, Silva

A cheap amateur personal camera is set up in a dark room. For a few seconds there is silence but then the face of the madman Silva comes into view

Harry, Paco, Taco
Look at the world as it decays,
Look at the mess I have made.
Laugh as the world starts to fade
I planted my seed of hatred,
I infected the hearts and minds
I am the god you think of
When you’re cursing at the sky.
I am the darkness that consumes you
It is my eyes that pierce your soul
When you feel you’re being choked
It is my hands around your throat
It is my laughter that taunts you
I’m the reason you can’t sleep
I’m every tear you cry
I’m the pain inside your eyes
I’m everything you despise
I’m the break in your heart
I’m responsible for every part
I’m the life between each blink
I’m what infects every thought that you think
I take your strength to fight
I render you of your rights
I am dirt and I am mould
I am hot and I am cold
I’ve taken your wings to fly
I’ve taken your will to try
I am shame
I am guilt
I am the foundation on which you were built
When you crumble
When you fall
I am who takes your all
You give in
You give up
And I’ll leave you to self-destruct
I am anger
I am hate
I am your mental mind state
So pray to your god if you think it’ll help
But when darkness falls
It’ll tie and bound you
Cause I am evil
And I surround you.

The camera then suddenly statics, and a scream is heard in the background

Herb: Wow that was really creepy… Urgh, I just want to get that out of my head, let’s move on. Time to here from his opponents for tonight, Fuegos Artificiales and Harry Richards

Ashley: I’m here with Fuegos Artificiales and Harry Richards-

Harry: Ah, ah, ah. Wait up a second. The three of us are going to be a good team, a great team. So I thought, what have all great teams of the past had? I’ll tell you what, they all had a great team name

Taco: So that’s what we’ve spent today thinking up

Paco: We know you’ll like it

Harry: Drumroll please. *Pauses* We are the… Foreign

Taco: Aviation

Paco: Nuts!

Harry: Or F.A.N. for short. Great isn’t it

Ashley: Um… Yeah, it’s, well, different… So FAN, let’s be honest, you didn’t put in a very good showing for yourselves on the inaugural PAIN! I mean, all three of you lost

Taco: Yes, both me and me brother did not make good impression on the first episode of PAIN! To be honest we both work better as a unicorn.

Paco: Taco, the correct word is “unit” a unicorn is a horny horse , but continue.

Taco: Sorry, my English is not so well. But we did our best in our separate matches, as did that time keeper.

Paco: But me brother, the time keeper was not involved in the match. He is just a time keeper. But I am sad that he got hurted. And if it were not for Harry Richards we would be even more hurter that we already am.

Harry: Hey, no problem

Taco: So Harry, thanks for coming to our rescue, and for tagging with us tonight. I think me and me brothers wrestling styles will work perfectly with yours. And we can all teach those dirty gringos a thing or two.

Paco: Taco, Harry is a gringo too

Taco: Si, but a good one.

Harry: *smiling wide* Arrr, thanks mates. *They all put their hands together*

All: Foreign. Aviation. Nuts. FAN! *they all lift hands in the air*

Harry: Go team!

*They walk off together leaving Ashley on her own with a confused expression on her face*

Rich: So they now have their own little group… F.A.N… Really? *sighs* Well I’m kind of glad, now we can refer to them as a collective fail rather than wasting time stating all three of their names. Oh they’re going to get killed tonight!

Mr. Thrust with his big ass bodyguard (figure of speech, nothing to do with ass size) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZL2sljuDIbw&)

Herb: Lillian seems drunk…

Rich: *chuckles*

Alpha: All you Cock Sucking Bastards, Little Jimmy says WHATS UP. Today we've got a 6 man tag team match, against Harry Richards, and the Fiji Artists. Luckily for us, we've got the best in the world at what he does, well other than us, and that is Silva. We deserve respect around here, and we will get it, when we will be stomping a Mudhole in the people who smoke something that's not tobacco, Paco and Taco. Because we're the unstoppable tag team, the tag team that will be kicking Richards ass all over the globe, and then we will stand over them and say REST...IN...PEACE

Herb: Well, he certainly isn’t lacking in confidence is he

Rich: When you’re that good in the ring, it would be a crime to not be confident

It’s Silva! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9XnNk5_U3Q4&)

Rich: And he also has this lunatic on his team, as well as a near seven footer. Add that to the fact he’s facing three jobbers and anybody would be confident

Herb: Meh, good point, well-made

Silva makes his way into the ring and Destruction & Romao move to the outside, not looking extremely comfortable

[url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nq754H8BLVA&]And the newest Face Stable around, F.A.N. [/COLOR]

Herb: These guys are going to be fighting an uphill battle here tonight, but they do have two advantages; Speed and teamwork

Rich: True, but it won’t help them, they’re going to get hurt here tonight


*stop watching 14:39*

Rich: Well, Alpha really has Paco right where he wants him

As Alpha reaches down to pick Paco up, Harry Richards springboards off the top rope, double stomps on Alpha pushing him back into the air where he double dropkicks both Destruction & Silva off of the apron. The downwards momentum from the double stomp from Alpha sends him down and Paco gets him in a small package


Rich: What!


Rich: The!


Rich: Fuck!

Herb: Holy shit they actually won!

Rich: What, what! How? Why? No! Why did the ref make the count when Richards was still in the ring

F.A.N. all hug in the ring, looking as surprised as Rich that they actually won. Suddenly Destruction rushes into the ring and wipes out the Torres brothers out with two huge clotheslines. Richards dropkicks Destruction knocking him out of the ring, but Silva suddenly slips up behind him and locks in his devastating sleeper hold

Herb: How many times have I said this recently, but this is really unnecessary

Alpha rolls back into the ring and begins stomping on Fuegos Artificiales

Rich: They were embarrassed, and now they’re making a statement so everybody remembers who they are

About twenty security guys rush the ring and begin to start pulling the heels away from FAN. They get Romao and Destruction away relatively quickly, but Silva has his sleeper locked on tight, and he’s not letting go.

Herb: *sigh* Our security team seems to have trouble with sleeper holds

<<<Commercial Break>>>

01-07-2012, 02:15 PM
Herb: Welcome back and as you can see Silva is no longer in the ring, which is a plus

Rich: But, and with our security team there’s always a but

Herb: They haven’t actually gotten him off of Harry, they carried them off together with the sleeper still locked on, so who knows what’s happened now

Rich: Lol… well moving on from the latest failure by our security team next up we have the fourth match in the Fury vs. PAIN! series

Herb: And it’s another must win situation for Fury, as its 2-1 to PAIN!

Rich: Luckily, we have the greatest technical wrestler on the roster, and hell probably the best in the World accompanied by the World’s greatest stable Crofts Limited. May as well call it 2-2

Herb: I think you’re slightly underselling the abilities of Ryku O’Ryan. I agree, Hanz is amazing in the ring, but so is Ryku

Rich: They’re not even in the same league system, let alone league. Let’s hear from the best wrestler in the world

Ashley: Ok I am backstage again, this time with Hanz Gruber and Gerald Croft. Hanz you are taking on Ryku O”Ryan tonight, what are your thoughts?

Hanz: I’ve seen O’Ryan in action before his arrival to EWA, and I will say I am quite impressed. He has been trained by one of the best out there- HBK and it shows. But one thing he lacks is the world wide experience of a superior athlete as myself. I also have had the benefit of being trained in many styles, by many different people; the Panzer brothers, the Funks, Bryan Danielson, Dos Caras Jr and many others. So O’Ryan, tonight you will get an education in the ring. Hopefully you will learn from it and prosper on PAIN!

Ashley: Well that was nice of you Ha…

Hanz: Sorry, I forgot one last thing. Speaking of learning from something, The Archangel thinks just because he was allowed in the main event last week that he is back in line for the title. Well I just go two words for you, FUCK YOU, back in line for you little one. You had your chance at the midget Kidd and lost. Ok that was more than two words, sue me.

Hanz storms out clearly pumped for his match

Gerald: Best talent I ever signed. Now get out of my way you prostitute, I need to go and prepare for my match

Herb: How rude

Rich: How awesome! Crofts Limited > EWA

Herb: You just spoke a mathematic sign…

*Ryku O'Ryan comes out to massive cheers, as The Natural walks to the ring, asking for a mic* (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vbwZNALLjgs)

RO'R: Good evenin' to you all! Tonight I take on a fella from Fury named Hans Gruber, I don't really know much about the fella, but I do know he'll be gettin' a massive ass kickin' from me tonight!

*Crowd Cheers*

RO'R: Now also I wanna discuss the title tournament over on Pain. I wanna let everybody involved know that I plan on winning the whole thing, and if you wanna know what you should expect, just watch me kick the head off this Gruber fella!

Rich: Kiss-ass

Hanz Gruber Accompanied by Crofts Limited (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VATb8PwzbDk)

Rich: I feel like stealing a phrase out of another certain commentators phrase book… We’re not worthy, we’re not worthy!

Herb: Shut the fuck up Rich, you’ll get us sued

Rich: Just try and stop me! We’re not-

Rich’s mic is cut off and Robareid’s voice plays over the titantron

Roba: Don’t test me Rich, I’ll fire you in an instant

Herb: Wow, Roba sure told him


*Watch up until 14:54*

Rich: Yeah! Great heart and determination shown in that kickout

Herb: Oh, they turned you back on then did they

Rich: Of course they did, without my unbiased commentary; this show would go to the dogs. Now concentrate on the match. COME ON HANZ!

Herb: *facepalm* Real unbiased…

Ryku goes over to the corner and begins to pound his leg into the ground in a rhythmical fashion

Herb: He’s setting up for Sweet Chin Music. I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but come on Hanz, dodge that kick; we need this win
As Gruber staggers to his feet O’Ryan goes to kick him but Smith grabs his leg, stopping him from doing so

Ref: Right, that’s it, get out. Both of you!

Rich: WHAT! Croft did absolutely nothing

After much protest Croft and Smith leave ringside. Ryku then turns around towards Hanz but Hanz is back with it and goes for a superkick of his own

Ryku ducks…

Hanz turns around and gets a kick to gut

Double Underhook

Rich: No, not the pedigree

Ryku jumps… but Hanz manages to keep that upwards momentum and back body drop him over the top rope and straight to the floor

Herb: By god! That’s was a nasty fall


Rich: Wow, what a move by Hanz


Herb: Neither guy is moving and Hanz landed pretty nastily…


Herb: I hadn’t thought about it


Herb: But if it ended in a double count out


Herb: That would be a draw


Herb: And that would mean Fury could no longer win, just draw


Rich: Well, no need to worry about that, Hanz is now moving

Herb: So is Ryku though


They both make it to their feet, but Hanz gets on the offence first and blasts him with a big forearm


Hanz grabs him and throws him into the ring then follows him under the bottom rope

Herb: Phew, nobody wanted to see a double count out be the finish to this great match

Hanz hits Ryku with a forearm smash

Ryku hits back with one of his own

Hanz returns the favour

Ryku hits back





Herb: Wow, how are these men still standing?



Hanz then hits Ryku with another but this one is slightly harder than the others, and it leaves Ryku staggered

Rich: Yeah, that’s it Hanz

Ryku then fires up and spins around with a ROARING ELBOW!


Hanz hooks Ryku in a half nelson and…


Rich: What a move, go for the pin!




Rich: Yeah!!!

Herb: What a match that was, truly epic. Although I don’t like the way that Hanz had to get help to win that, Fury needed the win, and he did get the finish all by himself. I don’t know how to feel; I’m torn

Rich: Come to the dark side Herb, we have cookies!

Gerald Croft and Brutus Smith rush down the ramp and into the ring

Herb: Oh not again

All three members of Crofts Limited stomp a mudhole in Ryku. After he is clearly incapacitated from pain, Brutus picks him up holding his hands behind his back

Herb: Come on security, where the fuck are you?

Rich: No need to be rude!

Hanz Gruber walks up to the barely conscious O’Ryan, goes up close and whispers something in his ear then slaps the shit out of him!

Herb: WHY?

Croft then grabs his cane and prepares his backswing

Heeeeerrrees Michael! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9kfi3rN0C50)

Herb: It seems at least some people have a conscious around here

Gerald looks at the oncoming Archangel, then back to O’Ryan, and he lays a shot in with his cane before bailing from the ring. Gruber and Smith ready themselves in the ring for the impeding assault

Archangel slides into the ring. Smith is the first to take a swing, but Michael ducks and follows up with a step up enziguri to the back of Smith’s head, knocking him through the ropes and out of the ring

Herb: One down, one to go

Rich: Come on Hanz, you can take him

Hanz charges Michael next, and Michael charges Hanz

They meet in the middle of the ring both at full speed

Michael runs straight through Hanz hitting him with a hugely impactful Saviour’s Way STO!

Rich: Dammit! Hanz wasn’t fully prepared; he’d just been through a long match. Yes, that’s it, he’d just been through a long match then Michael comes out here fresh to attack him. It’s despicable

Herb: You are so hypocritical

Crofts Limited regroups on the ramp, holding each other up and slowly backing up the ramp.

Archangel stands in the middle of the ring and smiles as he watches his adversaries retreat.

He then spreads his arms out wide, holds his head high and lets out a primordial roar

*Crowd pop like fucking crazy*

Herb: Wow that is such a great scene. I can’t think of a better way to go to commercial break

<<<Commercial Break>>>

01-08-2012, 12:34 PM
Back from the commercial break and the camera is yet again showing CJ’s Christmas Party

*Chris walks back into the party room and sees that Van has finally gotten into the Christmas spirit*

Van: Welcome back dear Chris! Merry Christma--Well actually that was last week...err...Happy New Year my good friend.

CJ: My God! Is it New Year already? Doesn’t time fly when your having…

Van: Yeah so anyway! I was wondering if you were up for a badass party game!

CJ: A party game!? Sure I’m up for that. So what do you wanna play? Scrabble? Pin the tail on the Donkey? See who can wank the longest?

Van: What was that last game?
CJ: Nothing.
Van: Anyway…. I was thinking something cool like Hide and Seek. What do ya think?

CJ: I love that game! It’ll be better than that game I used to play with my Neighbour in his Garden Shed back when I was a child. I never saw Mr Fishwick after that. My Mum said that he had to move away…

Van: Awesome sauce! Now fuck off out of the room whilst I hide.

*Chris seems to be so happy that Van has offered to play a party game, that he does a little awkward dance whilst leaving the room, Van seems to be disturbed by this dance. His face looked like Vince McMahon’s face when he realised how December to Dismember 2006 did in PPV buys. Van then proceeds to grab his phone*

Van: This ought to shut him up. *He dials a few numbers on his phone* Hello. New York Police please. I thought you guys should know that the wrestling company EWA is having a New Year’s Eve party at Madison Square Garden and the GM Christopher Jackson has got a man locked in his closet in his Office. I think he’s gone insane! You need to get here right away!

*Van then puts his phone down and enters the closet. Christopher knocks on the door and walks in the room*

CJ: Ready or not here I come… Where are you Van? *He checks underneath a table* Nope not there. *He checks underneath a chair* Where the hell is he?

*Suddenly, 2 Policemen walk into the room. One of them walks over to Jackson whilst the other walks over to the closet*

Police 1: Excuse me sir, are you Christopher Jackson?

CJ: *Smiling* Yep, that’s me! What can I do for you?

Police 2: We received a tip off that your holding someone hostage in this room and we need to see inside your closet.

*The Policeman opens the closet and Van falls out. Rope is tied around his hands and mouth and you can clearly hear his muffled cries for help*

CJ: What the hell!? I assure you I have no idea how he got in there. We were playing a game of hide and seek and…

Police 2: Save it. You make me sick.

Police 1: Hey Bob, look what we’ve got here.

*The Policeman walks over to a table which is piled with signed copies of Christopher’s book “The Wonders of Wanking”. The Policeman picks up a copy, flicks through the book and gasps at one page*

Police 1: Sir, do you want to explain why you’ve got a book full of pictures of male genitalia?

CJ: *Laughing awkwardly* Oh that! That’s just my know – it – all book on masturbation. You should give it a read actually; the pictures are very interesting to look at. There’s pictures of male genitalia from men aged over 50. I even managed to convince my Neighbour’s 5 year old child to pose for a few pictures….

*The smile from Christopher’s face disappears*

Police 1: Take him away Bob.

*The Policemen lead Christopher away, as he begins to yell “I AM NOT A PAEDO! I AM NOT A PAEDO!” The EWA roster looks at him in shock as he passes them in the corridor. Van then gets up and takes the rope away from his mouth and unties his hands*

Van: Well that was surprisingly easy.

The cameraman follows Van walking through 1 of the hallways and he throws away the rope he used to get the GM Christopher Jackson arrested with when Ashley Ion gets all up in his grill.

Ashley Ion: Van! We have to know who you've chosen as the opponent for Broc tonight in the Weapon of Choice matchup.

Van: Ah yes. I was having so much fun at the party I nearly forgot about this matchup. *Vans tone of voice then becomes majorly sarcastic sounding* It was a funny party too, you would've enjoyed it!!!

Ashley: Well I was going to go but I have a job to do around here and give EWA the must know informa-

Van: I really, really don't care, love. So shut up whilst I tell you who i've chosen.

*Ashley then buttons her mouth up and just holds the microphone to Vans mouth*

Van: Firstly, let me just tell you people that this is a business where to get to the top, you have to be selfish, independent and focused on your own goals. This is why I haven't made many allies around this joint. Now Broc can babble on about how many options he had to choose from his friends list on Facebook all he wants. Helping a friend out isn't exactly great motivation. Whilst the person I have chosen, has he heaps of focus, determination and stubbornness to not only take Broc on in a match, but enough to beat him.

Because you see, whilst in England I have made a few acquaintances that share the same...philosophys as Moi. Tonight Broc, you face 1 half of a new tag team on EWA who are determined to make the same impact here as I did weeks ago! Tonight Broc, the odds are not in your favour as you face Tom Butcher from Northern Aggression as his tag team partner accompanies him at ringside.

It is fitting that we're in New York, New York! *A loud cheer is heard from the local crowd that fills the arena* Because tonight Broc, like the overcrowded and dirty city, you're going to be proved how overrated you really are!

*Massive sounding boos can be heard as Van hears them and smirks before walking off and the camera looks toward Ashley*

It’s the fat one from earlier (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pg09uMx-7ZY&)

Herb: What is wrong with Lillian?

Rich: *chuckles*

Herb: What did you do Rich?

Rich: Spiked her drink. LOL! So here he is, Tom Butcher, we saw his partner in action earlier tonight and now we get see this Newcastle born and bred brawler in action

It’s boom boy (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_zMEBf8i4wM)

Herb: And making his EWA in ring debut no less too

Rich: Debuting on a loss would be embarrassing wouldn’t it


*stop watching 11:33*

Rich: Spear! Spear from Butcher! Go for the pin



Herb: Kickout! How physical has this match been!

Butcher pounds on the mat in frustration, then lifts Broc to his feet and whips him into the ropes

Broc grabs onto the ropes

Butcher charges at him, going for a spear

At the last second Broc leapfrogs up

Butcher is charging to fast though and continues to spear where Broc was a second ago

Which was by the ropes, but he’s no longer there

Rich: No fucking way!

Butcher soars through the middle and top rope

And hits a flying spear on his own partner on the outside!

Herb: Holy shit!

Broc goes out the ring and throws Tom Butcher back in before re-entering himself

Rich: Well that was a pretty shit line

Herb: Agreed, fire Robareid

Roba: Thanks guys :(

Broc is waiting in the corner, sizing Butcher up for something

Butcher makes his way to his feet

Broc charges

Butcher sidesteps and Broc spears the steel post

Herb: Ouch…

It’s now Butcher’s turn to size up Broc for a spear

Broc pulls himself out of the turnbuckle, clutching his shoulder

Butcher charges





Herb: Broc wins, Broc wins!

Rich: What? But it was Butcher going for the spear

Herb: Ah, but what the text failed to tell you is that Broc managed to get lower than Butcher and use his opponents momentum against him

Rich: Damn shit

Herb: Ah, the wonders of text based matches ;) What a win for Broc, now Van has to win just to be level with him

01-08-2012, 12:40 PM
Rich: Don’t worry, he will. Next up we have the deciding match in the Fury vs. PAIN! series

Herb: That’s right, it’s all come down to this, the battle between two men, “The Best of British” Rob Rage and “The Antichrist” seven foot one monster Raden Blain

Rich: I’m not feeling too confident

Rob Rage is sitting in his lockeroom, pumping himself up for his match

Rob suddenly notices the camera and smiles

Rob: So the whole of Fury is depending on me to beat this seven foot plus monster and prove that Fury is the number one brand here in EWA. No pressure then. But I thrive on pressure; I get a kick out of overcoming the odds. At Bloodbath it was practically a handicap match, yet who came out on top? With the big man up there as my witness it sure as hell was me. I’ve got the pressure of a whole brand on my shoulders, but I don’t care, because I ain’t losing.

*slowly getting more and more fired up* I hear the Raden is going to have his “Covenant” come to the ring with him. I don’t care quite frankly or hell even fredly. He could bring a small army to the ring with him and it won’t make a difference. Hell, he could bring a large army and I still wouldn’t care. *slowing down his speech* Because I ain’t losing, I can’t lose, and I won’t. *shouting his catchphrase along with the NYC crowd in the arena* AND YOU DO KNOW THAT!

*Rob then gets up, clearly fired up for his match and marches off*

*Cameras cut to a dark room; a pentagram is painted on the walls. Hooded men all stand around a man is red*

Raden: Rob Rage is the victim. He shall be a pawn used to spread our message. The Dark Prince will be pleased once Rage's blood is pouring out. But it will only be fair to give him the choice to surrender his soul to The Unholy Father. As for the title tournament, winning this will give me more power and time to destroy any thought that there is a higher power other than The Dark Prince. This title will be the key to spread the word of our Unholy Father. We need this title. You all will help to make sure I have it.

The hooded men: We pledge our lives and our souls to the destruction of a false god and to uprising of our Unholy Father.

Raden: Let us move out. My Covenant

*The cameras fade out*

Herb: Wow, we are due for a collision course here my friends. Both men are convinced that they are going to win, something has got to give. I wouldn’t want to bet against either of these two, even if I was a betting man. One thing is guaranteed though; it’s going to be one hell of a match

Rich: Jesus Christ Herb. Where did that come from? Let me get a word in why don’t you

Rob Rage, complete with new theme (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uDd16QVdBAA)

Rich: As much as I hate this guy with every fibre of my body, Fury needs this win, so as much as it pains me to say it, I’m rooting for him in this one

Herb: And for me it’s an easy decision for who to support, this guy is one of my favourites anyway, so him representing Fury makes it all the more reason to be leading the Rage chants

The Price of Darkness (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gkhwK6Wlod8)

Raden makes his way down to the ring accompanied by twenty or so hooded figures

Rich: Wow, Rob wasn’t kidding when he said that Raden would be bringing a small army with him

Herb: Let’s just hope that Rob can back up his claims of them not making a difference



*watch up to 6:52*

Herb: Huge chokeslam!


Rich: Come on Rob


Rich: Kick out you bastard!

Kickout… just

Herb: I never thought I’d hear you say that about Rob

Rich: I’m a victim of circumstances

Blain lets out a huge roar in frustration

Herb: Shit that was scary, maybe Rob should just have stayed down

One of the many hooded figures gets up on the ring apron

Rich: Well you just knew that these guys would get involved eventually. Fucking cheats!

As the ref goes to sort out the hooded figure on the apron, another gets up onto the ring apron on the other side and passes a steel chair

Herb: No, this is not how the series should end

Raden takes the chair and turns around

SUPERKICK! Straight into the chair smashing it into Raden’s face

Rob falls into the pin cover, but the ref is still preoccupied with three members of the covenant

Rich: Count the pin you wanker!

Yet another hooded figure slides into the ring


The figure picks up the fallen chair and delivers a huge chair shot to the back of Rob’s head. He then turns the pinfall over so that Raden is on top then exits the ring


The Covenant members on the ring apron get off, which allows the ref to turn around and make the count


Herb: No


Rich: No!


Herb & Rich: NO!

The hooded figure who delivered the chair shot walks up the ramp on his own, then turns back to face the ring. He then pulls back his head to reveal… Alex Kidd!

Herb: That bastard! He betrayed his own brand!

Rich: *Struggling for words* Ww… wha..bu..ne… Why Alex… Why?

Alex stands there laughing, then flips off everybody

Herb: Well, congratulations go to PAIN! I guess… *sigh* Well, time for a commercial break

<<<Commercial Break>>>

01-08-2012, 12:42 PM
Broc is in the back mic in hand

Broc: So you have already given me an easy walk in the park, but I think I want to give you a challenge Van, you see the opponent you will have to face tonight will be a big improvement from the opponent you gave me, but Van, this opponent will be easy compared to me, so if you can't beat him, there's no chance you'll beat me when we face off, well actually..... there's no chance regardless, so do whatever the fuck you want with him, either way I'll be kicking your ass, so good luck with him, because he's nothing compared to me, so don't get used to this walk in the park, and hopefully he doesn't hurt you too bad, I wouldn't want you to have any excuses when I destroy limb by limb, so best of luck

Rich: So who is it?

Van Hooligan is already in the ring waiting to find out who he will be facing

Guess who’s back? (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QuzDghzyVjk)

Herb: Holy shit, Ryan Wells, I thought he was still in hospital; you know he will want retribution for what Vans did to him

Van bails from the ring as Ryan rushes into it

Herb: Seems somebody is a little scared don’t you think

Rich: Nah, he’s just formulating a strategy, look, he’s getting back into the ring now


*Up to 6:19*

Herb: What the hell, Van just blatantly hit the ref. The only reason he’s not DQ’d is that he might just have KO’d him

Ryan Wells looked stunned for a couple of seconds, but then composed himself and charges VHX

Van Hooligan sees the oncoming Wells, and delivers a kick to the oncoming former NFL player, right in the balls

Rich: Ooo, nasty. Great strategy though

Ryan drops down to his knees in pain, clutching at his groin. Van just laughs the slides out of the ring and retrieves his signature cricket bat from underneath it

Herb: Oh come on, this is ridiculous; somebody should do something about it

Van slides back into the ring, and then holds the bat behind his head in preparation to nail Wells with it

Suddenly Broc is on the apron, and pulls the cricket bat from his hands then hops down and walks off the ramp

Herb: And it looks like somebody has

VHX: What the hell Broc? You didn’t see me getting involved in your match did you?

Broc just motions for him to turn around

He does


Rich: Fuck no! Damn, this night is just going from bad to worse

01-08-2012, 12:42 PM
Herb: Big win by Ryan Wells there, but you have to give the assist to Broc. Well, it’s been a great night for wrestling here but that right there was the last match of the night. All that remains is the countdown to the New Year

Look who it is, Mr. Kidd (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9SKFwtgUJHs&)

Herb: Or not…

The World Champion Alex Kidd makes his way down the ramp to a chorus of boos. In response to this, he flips the bird but that just makes the boos louder. He gets in the ring and demands a mic from Lillian

Kidd: Right, straight to the point. I have been dominant since day one here in EWA, day fucking one. I'm the world champion of this company and will be for a long, long time. Everybody should be talking about me. They should be amazed by my achievements. They should be praising me. *screaming into the mic like a madman* They should be WORSHIPPING ME!!!! But no, you stupid fans ignore my achievements, ignore my accolades, ignore my pure excellence and you talk about some person who is yet to debut. Some person who has had numerous vignettes promoting their arrival. Somebody who is trying to steal MY SPOTLIGHT! Well I won't have that, not one bit. I am the star of this company, I am the face, I am the God! So come out here, I'm calling you out *spitting the word out in disgust* PROPHET! Come out here and let me enlighten you to the truth, the fact that the best wrestler in the world is Alex Kidd. Come on out here right now!

In response to Kidd’s words, every light in the arena goes out and an eerie silence prevails over Madison Square Gardens

Then a single candle is seen on the entrance lamp. Then another, then another and slowly but surely the whole entrance ramp as well as the stage becomes covered with these mysterious candles that have appeared out of nowhere

Silence then again takes over the arena…

Until (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2aJUnltwsqs)

*Shining Light walks out to the ring with a hooded shroud over his head covering his eyes but not his mouth. (Think the Assassin’s Creed look), to a massive pop. He paces on the stage, stops in the middle and smirks at Alex Kidd*

SL: Did I hear you right Alexander? Did you actually just say that you are the best wrestler in the World? That is a lie. It's a downright lie and you know it! You are looking at the World's best wrestler right now. Need I remind you that I come from JBW, a place where Legends are made. I am the Showdown Heavyweight Champion, meaning that I am the best wrestler on that roster. You, Alex Kidd, are nothing but a pathetic little man who thinks he is better than everyone else, just because he holds a worthless piece of metal.

*The crowd cheers and starts to chant "You are worthless". Shining looks at the audience with disgust*

Shut up! You people make me sick. How you laugh at other people sacrificing their safety just to entertain you. I am aware that some of you hold illegal betting circuits regarding who will win matches. God frowns upon that and it is a sin. Rest assured, you will all be dealt with when Judgement Day arrives. I am not even willing to offer you the chance to repent your sins and ask for forgiveness... I do not consider any of you worthy enough for that honor to be bestowed upon you. The Lord will not listen to you on that day, for as it is written in the book of Revelations "And when they have finished their testimony, the beast from the bottomless pit will make war on them and conquer them and kill them".

Again silence prevails over the arena until a small chuckle emanates from Alex Kidd getting ever louder until he is laughing manically in the centre of the ring. After composing himself he begins to speak

Kidd: Are you quite finished? I’ll give it to you, your “bible bashing rant” did amuse me but did I really hear you say you are the best wrestler in the world? Really? Of course not, because I am the best wrestler in the world, not you. You preach to your God and ask for help in your matches while I myself am a God. That is why you are a World Champion of an A brand, and you are a World Champion of a mere C brand. You couldn’t beat me on your best day Shining, with or without the aid of your “God”!

It seems another player is entering the fray (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vmI7vbg69tk)

Horus Black makes his way out onto the ramp

Herb: Wow, that’s the GM’s music? It doesn’t sound very … GMy

Horus: Is that a challenge Kidd? Is it? Because I’m never one to let a challenge go untested, and since Christopher Jackson has… been a part of an unfortunate chain of events that has led to him being removed from the arena, it seems I am in a position of total and utter power around. So, putting two and two together, Shining Light can’t beat you on his best day? Well, let’s put that to the test, you will face Shining Light… now, and you put that title of yours on the line

Kidd: Wha- What! You, you can’t do that! You’re not the Fury GM

Horus: True, but he’s not here is he. So who is going going to stop me

And with that, Horus exits, leaving Alex Kidd in the ring with a disbelieving expression on his face and Shining on the stage with a smile on his face

Rich: Wow, what a blockbuster main event Horus Black just made. A title match on free TV, doesn’t seem too good a business decision

Herb: Who cares, this match is going to be amazing. Not only is it a champion vs. champion match, it’s a World Champion vs. World Champion match with a World Championship on the line. What a way to end 2011

*Shining Light begins to walk down towards the ring. As he walks passed each set of candles, their light goes out until he makes it to the ring and says a prayer in the corner. When he has finished his prayer, he grabs a microphone*

Shining: EWA... Prepare for a New Year like no other. For when I win your pathetic excuse of a World Title, I will be gone from here like a thief in the night. I have no interest in staying in this company, unless Horus Black was to become sole GM. He seems like a nice person, and I can tell that he is one of the Lord's chosen ones. EWA... you have been warned. EWA... your time is almost over.

Rich: Holy Jose this match is going to be off the fucking charts

*ignore prematch*


*watch up to 12:22*

Herb: What a move! Could this be it?



Rich: New Champion!


Rich: No, last second kickout!

Herb: I’m being told that we’re getting close to midnight, so we’re going to start the countdown during the match

60, 59, 58

Shining Light gets to his feet and lifts up Kidd

57, 56, 55

Shining Light grabs Kidd across the chest (Rock bottom style)


Repeated elbows from Kidd to the back of Shining’s head force him to release the hold

53, 52

Kidd runs the ropes


Leapfrog from Shining


Kidd bounces off the other side of the ring


Duck from Shining


Kidd runs straight over him and bounces off the ropes yet again



46, 45, 43, 42, 41

Rich: Holy shit what a move, I have no idea how he kicked out of that

Shining makes his way back to his feet

40, 39, 38, 37, 36

He goes to drop an elbow but Kidd rolls out of the way


As Shining gets back up, kip up from Kidd

34, 34, 33






Herb: Well this is confusing



Rich: Very




Both men crawl to opposite corners of the ring and use the ropes to help them to the feet

27, 26, 25, 24, 23, 22, 21, 20, 19

They charge towards each other


Double clothesline, both men are down


Both men again struggle to their feet

16, 15, 14, 13, 12, 11, 10, 9, 8

They stagger towards each other

7, 6, 5

Clothesline attempt by Kidd


Shining Light ducks


And catches him in the side slam hold again


ETERNAL SALVATION! (Backflip side slam)

Herb: Holy shit what a move, if Shining can get a cover he will become World Champion


Herb: Happy New Year

As the countdown clock reaches zero the lights in the arena again blackout. They slowly turn back on but when they return a man wearing a Christopher Daniels-esque robe is standing on the ramp

The man has caught Shining’s attention and he stands by the ring ropes staring down with this man

Heel rollup by Kidd!




Rich: Kidd retains!

Herb: His feet were on the rope the cheating bastard!

The lights go out for the third time of the night, and when they return Alex Kidd, Shining Light and the mysterious man have completely disappeared and four words are shown on the Elitron

The Prophet has arrived

Herb: I don’t know what the hell just happened there, but what I do know is that EWA are ending the year with more questions than answers. Our times up now, so Happy New Year Everybody

Rich: Apart from Jackson, he’s going to jail. LOL!

01-08-2012, 12:43 PM
*The Police are bundling Christopher into the back of their Car, when Mr McGiven runs over to them*

MM: What the hell is going on here!?

CJ: Mr McGiven, thank God you’re here! I was playing Hide and Seek with Van when the Police came and accused me of holding him hostage. Then they found my book and accused me of being a Paedophile. Sir you’ve gotta help me here! Pay my bail or something!

MM: *Looks at the 2 Officers* How much is it?

Police 1: Well based on the crimes he’s committed, you’re looking at a $100,000 bail fee.

MM: $100,000!? You can forget that! See you on Monday Jackson.

*Mr McGiven walks off, leaving Christopher to be put in the Police Car. The Officers slam the door shut, get in the Car, and drive off. The sirens begin to wail as the EWA Logo shows to end the show*

01-14-2012, 06:59 AM
Filler .

01-14-2012, 07:01 AM


01-14-2012, 07:07 AM
Filling Filling Filling Filled

01-14-2012, 07:10 AM
Let me help you out ;)


01-14-2012, 07:16 AM
Carnage Filler

01-14-2012, 07:17 AM
I like Filling - Filler

01-14-2012, 07:21 AM
Ha Ha I get to fill and you don't :cool:

01-14-2012, 07:44 AM
Carnage Episode 1 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFnE2_DUhbs&ob=av2e)


HH: Hello wonderfull people of EWA, welcome to the 1st episode of Carnage. Howard Huggins here joined by Bobby Watson, and today we have a great show lined up tonight

BW: That's right Howard, but my name's Robert Watson - Bobby Watson sounds funnier than Brodus Clay was on Raw.

HH: Hey - Bobby sounds awesome. But that's not an argument we should be having. Let's talk about tonight. Carnage is a show where up and coming new wrestlers get to showcase their talents in the Best EFED around.

BW: Great- I've been hired on the jobber show.

HH: Their are no jobbers on Carnage - only top class wrestlers

BW: Well we should have 2 top class commentators also - but EWA only got half of what they wanted

HH: Oh fuck off - you've only met me a handfull of tim...

BW: But I already have enough hatred in my body to last you a lifetime

HH: That's only because your smaller than Hornswoggle.

BW: That's not true - I'm 5ft 4

HH: I rest my case - let's move on to the wrestling now.

BW: Yes, we have a "wicked" show. Keeping up with the kids blad, maybe you should try it Howard

HH: You think I can't keep it up with the kids - do you want to hear my rap


HH: Ohhhhhhhh, anyway let's talk about the 1st match on Carnage. It's the EWNCW Ignition Champion Daymein Bloodstone versus a relative newcomer - Johnny Hot.

BW: Johnny Hot, I've really been impressed with his work recently, haven't you?

HH: Well, he's done alright in other E-FEDS, but this is a whole new challenge in EWA

BW: He can do it, anyone can beat a midget like him

HH: Don't forget that he's taller than you, and he has done very well in EWNCW - not like I watch it.

BW: Probably better than this jobberfest.

HH: There is no pleasing you. You are as useless as your Dad's condom


BW: Your as funny as John Laurnatis


HH: We could do this all day, but we've got a show to call

Here comes the champ (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IXIKDfEGiJo)

HH: Hello Daymien - give me a shout out

BW: Your a bigger twat than Michael Cole

*Daymian walks out a holds up his EWNCW Inigition Title*

DB: Hello EWA, those who don't know me let me introduce myself. I am a former BWA World Champion and the current EWNCW Ignition Champion. I am often called The Pint Size Rocker and The KamiKazi Warrior. I am Daymian Bloodstone!

*Crowd goes crazy as Daymian walks down the ramp.*

DB: I came here to EWA because I want to wrestle some of the best out there. Tonight I face Johnny Hot, uhhh who is he? No disrespect meant but I have never heard of him.

*Daymian enters the ring*

DB: It doesn't matter who I face because I will walk out your winner and prove that big things come in small packages!

BW: Hate him

HH: Love him

BW: Somebody's got a crush

HH: If you let Daymein here you, you would've been squashed

Da Hot One (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TrVVPiJWpx8)

BW: I love his walk - he reminds me of Cody Rhodes and The Miz

HH: Of Course - two bad guys

Hot: Everybody save your ticket stubs and take some pictures, today is the day EWA becomes #1! That's right, the greatest wrestler in the world has come to EWA!!!

*Crowd Boos*

Hot: Are you really booing your savior? The man who will single handedly bring EWA to the top? Oh, I get it... You guys are jealous! I've got the good looks, the body, women love me, I get payed quadruple your salaries, and I've got natural talent! Don't worry, I don't blame you. I expect dumb, average people like you to be scared of walking greatness like me.

*Crowd Boos Louder*

Hot: SSSHHH!!! The future World Champ is speaking! As I was saying, in my entire wrestling career, in EVERY company I've ever wrestled in, I have never lost. Not once! Not by DQ, countout, nothing! Do you people know why? Well I guess you obviously don't, since you're IQ is lower than the amount of girls who have every found any of you attractive- which is REALLY low- so I guess I'm just gonna have to spell it out for you. I'll say it reeeeaaaaal sssllloooow so you can understand. I am better than every current- scratch that- I am better than ANY other wrestler that has ever stepped foot into a wrestling ring.

*Crowd Boos Mercilessly*

Hot: SHUT UP!! You all know just as well as I do that NO wrestlers are in my league! Can't you hear it now? "The Winner of this Match, and the NEW WORLD CHAMPION, JOHNNY HOT!!" World Champ Johnny Hot... That just clicks!

Hot: Now everyone get your cameras out because it's time for the match of the night! It is time for Johnny Hot to show you WHY he is the savior of EWA!

*Hot drops the mic and lays across the turnbuckle, taunting the crowd, looking at his opponent*

(Mysterio/Bloodstone) (Undertaker/Hot)


4:55 - 10:57

BW: Well done Hot, keep going

HH: That was close, Bloodstone's doing well

*Bloodstone goes to the top rope, and goes for a Diving Cross Body, but Hot catches it and hits a fallaway slam*

BW: Fallaway Slam, I always loved that move, especially when Razor Ramon, and now Johnny Hot.

HH: However much I hate to say it. That was awesome



Foot on the ropes.

BW: He's taking the easy way out here - not getting his shoulder up, just being lazy

HH: What the hell are you talking about

*Bloodstone slowly get's up, but Hot goes for a spear. Bloodstone reverses it into a sunset flip powerbomb*




HH: And Daymein Bloodstone wins on his debut in EWA

BW: It's not like he just beat the world champion

HH: Yes, but as you said before the show, beating Johnny Hot is no easy task.

BW: Could we just move on the show, bad guys for the win

HH: Are you high

BW: Bad Guy's rule

HH: Genital Warts Rule

BW: Oh, so your a Christian and Edge head are you

HH: Could I play my Kazoo

BW: No - talk about the main event

HH: Yes, today, for a main event, we have a 6 man main event

BW: Which includes four new jobbers debuting

HH: Actually, there's the 2nd Olympic Gold Medalist in professional wrestling, a man who will defend America at any cost, and two English Northeners who are Bar Room Brawlers

BW: What you mean, is that you've got a cheap Kurt Angle, another JBL, and a tag team from the most rubbish country in the world.

HH: That country's not rubbish - it has raised people like Drew McIntyre, Frankie Boyle, and Robert Archibald

BW: That's Scotland you retard

HH: That's in the North of England - isn't it.

BW: No

HH: Anyway, the participants are Freddrick Detor and the Nothern Aggression - Tom Butcher - who we saw at the New Year's show versus Laurent, and our favourite Mexican tag team - Paco and Taco Torres.


01-14-2012, 08:03 AM
HH: Let's get on to the next match. It's Zack Silver vs John Hail

BW: Who's John Hail

HH: I'm not sure, but he want's to make an impressive debut tonight - just like Daymein Bloodstone

BW: And Johnny Hot - he was only beaten by quick thinking by Bloodstone - but that's all I'm giving him - and nothing more. It was pretty close an....

HH: Stop travelling back in time - actually I wanna to meet the flintstones

BW: Yeah - and I want to meet spongebob

HH: Could we go next week - when we can take CJ with us.

BW: Okay - but could we just get on with the match

HH: Alright then

It's the Siverfly (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ba4bIWELLaM)

HH: I like him - he almost beat Holy Jose in another unnamed promotion

BW: Blah Blah - just get this over with

ZS: Hey there, hey there all! I'm Zach Silver, known as SkyFly! Nice to be here and be in front of all of you, it's a pleasure! Tonight I'm gonna put on a show for all of you by beating John! No disrespect to you, but I will get you with my Meteor Strike! I am the next big thing you guys, just so you know, and you'll see that tonight! Enjoy!

BW: Cock-Sucking to the crowd

HH: He's just having fun - get over it

A trendily dressed guy wearing sunglasses and a expensive looking leather jacket is in the back accompanied by Iva Hardy

IH: Im in the back here with John Hail, a man set to debut tonight here on Carnage, your thoughts?

John: My thoughs? My thoughts are what is wrong with the management here in EWA? Why oh why would an even mildly competant group of higher ups choose to debut their top talent on their C show? Its motherfucking rediculous. They have me talking to fags/slags like you and in a match against some Silver Bros rip off when I should be up against Alex Kidd challenging for the world title, and actually getting the job done unlike some outsider who recently entered the halls of EWA and failed miserably. So there, you wanted my thoughts, well you got them. Now as the saying goes time is money, and mines worth more than most, so unless you have any more intelligant questions Im going to go prepare to win my match

*He pauses for a milisecond before continuing*

No? Didnt think so

*He then storms off*

BW: Did you see Iva - now I have a...

HH: Don't say it

BW: re-adjustment of my pants

HH: Not funny

It Hails on Carnage (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lwIastRR3DM)

BW: Wow - he's good

HH: You just had to say that

BW: Let's just get this match over with

(British Bulldog/Silver) (Other Person/Hail)
Ignore Intros


HH: Easy win for Silver

BW: A big build for nothing

HH: I wouldn't say that - he got Silver over

BW: On a C-Show

HH: Okay - Calm down - let's hear from Northern Aggression

01-14-2012, 08:31 AM
Those two “non PC” fuckers Doug Baker and Tom Butcher are sitting in their locker room smoking

Tom: So then the man was like “Well I know how to make curtains, and regular blinds are easy, but what I really want to learn is how you make a Venetian Blind” to which his master replied “Well that’s easy, you just poke his eyes out”!!!

*Both men burst into an extreme fit of laughter, and before long they’re both on the floor in utter hysterics*

*After at least 30 seconds of nonstop guffawing, Doug Baker attempts to get back to his feet by pulling himself up on the camera man*

Doug: *Still in hysterics* You poke his eyes out, classic! *He then notices that the cameraman is the one he’s pulling himself up on* Oh look Tom, we’ve got ourselves some company

*Tom pulls himself back onto his seat and Doug sits next to him on the bench*

Tom: I assume that it’s promo time? *After no objection is made by the cameraman he continues* Well, it’s going to be damn hard to follow that joke but we’ll give a goddamn try won’t we Doug

Doug: Ain’t no bullshit there, that’s for sure. Let’s start at the beginning, because if we start chopping and changing I’ll get lost. So the beginning, and as far as I’m concerned, the beginning of EWA is where we debuted

Tom: New Year’s Supershow wasn’t it?

Doug: That it was mate that it was, and by god was it super. I mean, hell, it has us on it, how could it not

Tom: Some true shit there boy. Although, it didn’t all go too well. I mean, it got off to a great start, Doug opened up the show and no surprise annihilated that skinny punk HORSE, and he started the trend of PAIN! superstars destroying their pussy Fury counterparts. Speaking of PAIN!, why the fuck after we lead their team to victory are we not on the show. I mean, I don’t pretend to be the sharpest tool in the whatchamacallit but even I know that that’s a pretty basic assumption, but for some reason we’re on some jackoff C show. What the hell is up with that?

Doug: Calm it you fat shit, we get paid the same and the competition is ever so slightly worse, so we get paid quicker. And stop changing the subject, you’ll get me muddled

Tom: Ah diddums… Well, next I took on this ex-football player, but not like proper football, more like Rugby

Doug: I liked Rugby, it gave me a chance to take people down when I felt like it and not get arrested

Tom: Yer, it’s a pretty good sport

Doug: Maybe you should have done a bit more of it

Tom: What’s that supposed to mean?

Doug: You’re a fat shit

Tom: … Meh, tell me something I don’t know. Anyway, I took on this football-rugby player and I’m dominating the match right, but he gets lucky enough to dodge out the way when I’m going to tackle him

Doug: Probably all that practice at Rugby at his Football sessions

Tom: That’ll be it. So he dodges and somehow I end up flying through the ropes and into you

Doug: I remember that, that hurt like shit

Tom: So then he got me back into the ring and I was all worried about you and shit and he managed to get a pin on me.

Doug: What a wanker

Tom: I know right

Doug: But don’t worry, that’s not going to happen again tonight. No siree! You see, we’re taking on two Mexican jobbers

Tom: And jobbers gonna job

Doug: And an Olympic gold medallist

Tom: Shit, we’re facing Kurt Angle?

Doug: Nah man. It’s some guy who is a gold medallist in something completely stupid and nothing to do with wrestling. I think it’s water based

Tom: Fishing?

Doug: That’ll be it. And another thing, I think he’s call Lauren

Tom: But that’s a bitches name

Doug: I know! Maybe we’ll get some pussy if we promise to go easy on her

Tom: Sounds like a plan! But wait, that’s three of them and there is only two of us

Doug: I was just getting to that. We’re teaming with some Freddy guy. There might be a problem though, he’s an… wait, I wrote it down here somewhere *pulls a piece of paper out of his pocket and reads off of it* He’s an x-ee-no-fo-bi… no that’s not write… he’s an zeno... ah fuck it, he hates foreigners

Tom: *pauses* Me too, all those fucking poles taking our jobs

Doug: But he’s American

Tom: Meh, nobody’s perfect

Doug: I had a point there somewhere, but I’ve forgotten it

Tom: Let’s go eat

Doug: Typical you

*They both get up and leave*

And Here They Are (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pg09uMx-7ZY&)

BW: Butcher narrowly lost to Broc at the new year's show, so he should easily beat these fuckers

HH: Oh - your going non - pg now are you

BW: Let's just here from Freddrick Detor

FD: Great - my EWA debut - and I'm against 3 foreign nutters. Let me get 1 thing straight - I HATE FOREIGNERS, I could go on about how much I hate them - but let me show you instead

Speak of the Devil (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jAYPN-1Yjt0)

BW: He has really stepped up to defend the United States of America - hasn't he

HH: This is the 1st time you've seen him

BW: And

HH: How do you know that

BW: Because I've got mind-reading skills - you're thinking of CJ masterbating over 5 year olds

HH: Um... No

Who's the frenchman (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=koJlIGDImiU&ob=av2n)

BW: He looks weird - probably because he's French

HH: French people aren't weird

BW: Well why won't they fight in a war then

HH: Let's just hear from him

L: Hello EWA, I am Laurent - THE Olympic Gold Medalist. I'm here making my debut, I bet you all are tired of all the talking you've had today, and you probably hate my accent, so I'll just leave the talking and show you what I can do

BW: Bloody hell, can't he talk a little bit more

HH: Wow, you actually want to hear a good guy talk

BW: No, I just want to boo him

HH: Typical you, that

BW: I take that as a compliment - thank you

HH: You probably shouldn't - but let's hear from the Mexican Tag Team whose name I can't prononce

01-14-2012, 08:54 AM
Backstage interview with Iva Hardy

IH: What's it like to be on the 1st episode of Carnage

Paco: Me and me brother Taco are psyched to be here on Carnage. After our showing on the EWA New Years Supershow, we proved to management that we are the real thing in d ring. Teaming with Harry Richards was that extra little jumpstart we needed. He made me and me brother want to work even harder. He taught us some things. Me and me brother are from Mexico, and although we have wrestled many different types of wrestlers, me and me brother never wrestled outside of the great country of Mexico, except for that one time in Texas before a donkey sex show. But EWA saw something in us when they signed us. And we......

Taco: Yeah that donkey show was sick, wish we would have never seen it. It gave me nightmares

Paco: Are you finished?

Taco: Si, I am sorry, continue.

Paco: As I was saying, we are happy EWA signed us, we are greatful for the experience. And tonight we are tagging with Laurento and...

Taco: Laurent

Paco: Thats what I said. We are tagging with Lau... um, we are tagging with him and hopefully he will be as good as a partner as Harry Richards and hopefully we learn from him too. Soon we will be the best tagteam that EWA has to offer, but I know we have to prove ourselves . The more we wrestle, the more experience we get, the more gooder we get.

Taco: Better we get

Paco: Thats what I said. Well lets go Taco, we need loosen up before the match. Don't forget to grab that bag, it has our weed in it.

Taco: Si, but I do not think you should have said that when the cameras were on.

Paco: Oh yeah man. And who do we wrestle tonight?

Taco: Some gringo named Detor, and a baker and a butcher.

Paco: That reminds me, we need to get some munchies.

Taco: Its already in the bag with the weed.

Paco: Shhhhhhh

BW: Great, now we've got 3 people who think they can come into this country and can't pay taxes

HH: I'm pretty sure they do, I mean, do you really think they can get on national television and not get caught

BW: Of course I do

Fuegeos Artificiales in si house (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F_6IjeprfEs)

HH: I love that song, my son always marks out when he here's it

BW: You have a son!!!!!!!! Ahhhh, Still in the closet then

HH: How could I be, if I'm here, Once I was locked in there for a week though

BW: You know what, I've got a game we can play after the show

HH: It better not be the one my old neighbour used to play with me in his garden shed

BW: No, of course not

(Zack Ryder/Laurent - CM Punk/Paco - Daniel Bryan - Taco)
(Alberto Del Rio/Detor - Dolph Ziggler - Butcher - Miz/Baker)
Ignore Entrances



Watch up until 5:47

HH: What a back body drop over the top rope

BW: Come on Detor - Get back up

*Northern Agression runs in as do Paco and Taco*

HH: Tag Teams going at it

BW: Butcher and Baker are really taking it to him, as you Howard took it up the asshole by your neighbour

HH: Actually only few times was in my bum hole, most of the time was in my mouth

*Detor knocks down the referee, as Paco throws Butcher over the top rope as Taco throws Baker. Detor run's in and, gives a spinebuster to Taco and a low blow to Paco and Laurent*

HH: Stop cheating - stop cheating

BW: It's only cheating if the referee sees it

HH: Speaking of which - the referee back up, as is Laurent - but Paco and Taco have been dragged out the ring by Northern Aggression

*NA go over to the announce table, and both simultaneously suplex Paco and Taco through the table*

BW: What a move there by Northern Aggression

HH: But look at Laurent and Detor - they're trading kicks to the stomach

Laurent kicks Detor

Detor kicks Laurent







*Laurent then knocks down Detor with a kick to the head. NA then grabs a foot each of Laurent's then Detor runs in with a roll up*


HH: He's got the Tights


BW: And his 2 feet on the rope


HH: What a cheat, how did the referee not see that

BW: It's only cheating if the referee sees it.

*Paco and Taco runs into the ring and from behind hit's a double back suplex. They then run up the ramp to End the show*

HH: Well done Paco, well done Taco - what a great way to end the show - good night everybody

01-14-2012, 09:01 AM
Sorry Rob, I like Filling - I'm filling your fills

01-14-2012, 09:02 AM
Was Carnage good - tell me in the discussion thread

01-14-2012, 09:03 AM
*to the tune of the simpsons theme*

Fill, Fill, Fill, Fill, Fill, Fill, Fill, Fill, Fill, Fill, Fill, Fill, Fill, Fill, Fill, Fill, Fill, Fill, Fill, Fill, Fill, Fill

01-14-2012, 09:06 AM
Like - no
It. Its
Nice and makes me have a
Good Feeling inside

01-14-2012, 09:07 AM
Fury posted soon


01-22-2012, 12:54 PM
Delete a filler for a filler - and bump up for you Rob

01-23-2012, 02:55 PM
EWA Fury Episode 6


EWA Fury Theme Song: Hollywood Undead “Young” (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ksq135WVHUo)


HS: Hello and welcome to episode six of Fury! We're live from Manchester, England and tonight we deal with the aftermath of our New Year's Eve Supershow!

RG: Well we've only just found out that Alex Kidd will be defending his World Title against none other than our freak of a GM, Christopher Jackson. And that match will be happening... right now!

The world champ, boo this man (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9SKFwtgUJHs&)

HS: Here comes the Champion! One has got to be wondering what state his mind is in after the New Year's Eve...

RG: Can we just get on with this? This match is gonna be a shambles!

HS: Someone's in the middle of their menstrual cycle

RG: Fuck you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OAPAfZMmCIk]It’s ( [url) Wacko Jacko! [/URL]

HS: And here's the GM! Doesn't he look strong? He's definitely my favourite to win this match!

RG: We all know this dick is gonna lose. Come on Kidd! Kick his arse!

The bell rings

Kidd tries a superkick

CJ ducks

Right hook from CJ!




Rich: Nooooooooooooo!



RG. Fuck.My.Life

HS: And the crowd is going electric! Our GM is the new World Champion!


*CJ wakes up in a Prison Cell and slowly gets to his feet. He looks around and sighs*

CJ: What a dream...

*His Cell Door opens and standing in front of him is a Police Officer*

PO: Alright Jackson, your free to go

CJ: Really? But I was told it would be at least two weeks before I was released!

PO: Well someone paid your bail money... so we're just letting you go

CJ: And this is never going to be mentioned again?

PO: Well considering the fact that it would ruin the exciting story lines that Rob has planned for you *The Officer winks at CJ*, no it isn't going to be mentioned again

CJ: Thank Christ! I thought my life was ruined! I'll see you later then

PO: Before you leave... please tell me that isn't shit in the corner?

CJ: I was too tired to walk to the toilet. Bye!

*CJ walks out the Cell whistling "Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life"*

01-24-2012, 02:00 AM
EWA Fury Episode 6


EWA Fury Theme Song: Hollywood Undead “Young” (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ksq135WVHUo)


Herb: Hello and welcome to Fury, live from the, debatably, footballing capital of England. EWA, say hello to MANCHESTER! What a great event we have for you tonight

Rich: Hell yeah we do! This is the first show of our European tour, and what a place to start it

Herb: You’re abnormally positive

Rich: Roba threatened to fire me if I wasn’t positive about the UK

Herb: Ah, that’ll be it then. What a way to start the show, modern technology is truly amazing, actually seeing his dream, and live too. Amazing isn’t it

What’s he doing here? (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vmI7vbg69tk)

Herb: That’s Horus Black

Rich: Brilliant! We finally have some competent management around here!

Horus makes his way down to the ring; mic in hand to a chorus of boos from the crowd

Horus: Oh quiet you insolent fools, show some respect to a clear superior of yours

*Crowd just boo louder*

Horus: Oh you fools are ridiculous. Speaking of ridiculous, where is your beloved GM Christopher Jackson?

Rich: Nice segway

Horus: I’ll tell you where, he’s locked up in a prison cell in New York due to his “actions” at the New Year’s Supershow, and to be quite honest, that’s where he belongs


Horus: Oh come on, that man can’t even manage his own miserable existence and he’s expected to manage a whole brand. He’s a disgrace to the company. However, have no fear Manchester, as I have already mentioned that he is not here, thank the lord. However, that does leave us with a problem. There is no authority figure to manage the show, but have no fear, Horus Black is here

Herb: Ouch… that really didn’t come off well

Horus: That’s right, I have graciously accepted the offer to become interim general manager of Fury and vice president of… wait, my bad, that’s not me.

Rich: Lol, I told you he can be funny. That’s Mr Excitement right there!

Horus: So to reiterate, at great expense to myself I will be taking the reins of Fury for the foreseeable future. What is that great expense I hear you ask? Having to pull double duty in a run down, ass kissing, waste of space, USA imitating and generally second rate country like the United Kingdom

*Jesus Christ the boos can’t get any louder*

Horus: Oh boo me as much as you want, there isn’t a thing any of you British Bastards can do about it

Well maybe this British Bastard can do something about it (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uDd16QVdBAA)

Rob Rage makes his way out to a HUGE pop from his home-country crowd

Herb: Oh this is going to be good

Rage: *Walking down the ramp* Run down? Waste of space? Second rate? I’ll show you just how second rate this “British Bastard” is when he’s PO’d at somebody insults his homeland. How about I run my fist straight into your face. Repeatedly. Don’t worry, it won’t hurt, it’s just an imitation of the UK, it’ll practically be like me kissing your ass.

Horus: Stop right there. Don’t you dare get into this ring, or I will fire you on the spot

Rage: Oh please, my contract is worth more than your job, there are some perks of being related to the head writer. No, you can’t fire me, but I sure as hell can fire off a couple of shots at you. It’ll be a nice little warm-up, because I’ve got some unfinished business with a certain world champion that I plan on dealing with tonight

It’s like this is scripted, look who it is! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9SKFwtgUJHs&)

Alex Kidd makes his way out onto the rings to a tirade of boos. A certain hardcore section of the crowd begins the chant “You are dead! You are dead! You are dead!”

Rich: Strange chant, he’s clearly not. Must be an English thing…

Kidd: Did somebody mention my name? It’s hard to tell, these English accents sure are so stupid

*Cheap heat*

Kidd: So you want do “deal with me”? Oh forgive me for not quaking in my boots. Last Fury, who was the one standing over you to end the show? At the Supershow who main event and won and who lost the series for their brand? Hell, who is the World Champion? I’ll give you British dickheads a clue; I know you’re not the brightest group of people.

*Raises Championship above his head which receives a very negative reaction from the very pro-Rage crowd*

That means me by the way. I am the God around here; I not only told all of you that at the Supershow, I proved it. I fought against the odds and defended my World title like the deity that I am. I overcame your little challenge Black, and proved myself to be not only the top talent in this company, but in all of existence!

Horus: Look, I think we may have gotten off on the wrong foot. I didn’t put you in that title match in an attempt to spite you. No, the reason I put you in that match was that I felt the Supershow needed an epic main event, and I knew you were the only man for the job. I wanted to test you, and you passed with flying colours, you proved yourself as the top talent in this company. You-

Rob: *Interrupting* Oh please, get a damn room. Let me remind you two that this is a wrestling show not a gay dating agency. Not that I have any problem with that sort of conduct, whatever floats your boat

Horus: Silence you oaf. Alex Kidd has proven himself worthy of his position as Champion but you are yet to show me anything leading to me believing you worthy of the number one contendership. You made the point that I cannot fire you maybe that are true, maybe it isn’t, but you do have to follow my rulings as the general manager. So I am putting you in a match in the main event

Rob: *mockingly* Oh no, please no… How could you do such a thing? I mean, you’re making a wrestler wrestle on a wrestling show. Oh heaven help us

Horus: I’m glad you find it so amusing, because it’s going to because it’s going to be for the number one contendership

Herb: What the hell? He can’t do that, Rob had already earned the right to challenge Kidd for the title

Rich: He’s the GM; he can do whatever he wants

*Horus leaves the ring, with Rob left in there, clearly put off of his game by the latest announcement. Horus meets up with Kidd on the ramp and they both begin to walk off together, with Kidd laughing hysterically*

Horus: Oh, and I almost forgot, you’re against Hanz Gruber

*Being in England, and Gruber being a German and Rob being UK’s favourite son, this doesn’t exactly go down too well*

Herb: That’s ridiculous, Rob has already beaten Hanz for the number one contendership, and now he has to go do it again… Still, it should be an awesome main event

Rich: Hanz will get that number one contendership, just like he promised, he’s like a prophet!

<<<Commercial Break>>>

01-24-2012, 02:06 AM
Herb: Hello and welcome back to EWA live from Manchester England. We are here on the first show of a two month European tour and if this shows line-up is anything to go by, it’s going to be epic

Rich: That’s right; we’ve got a huge card for you tonight. The number one contender G-Scorp is taking on the High Octane Superstar

Herb: The number on contenders to the tag titles The Turnes are in action up against the team of KiLLA and G-Scorp

Rich: Van Hooligan X is in action against Jack Jobberson

Herb: It’s Johnson… In a champion vs. champion match we have the TV champion Jack Phenix facing the tag champion “Mad Dog” Paul Conrad

Rich: And the other half of the tag champions Kid Wonder will be taking on the “undefeated in EWA” Broc

Herb: And finally, just announced, our huge main event for the evening, set up by the interim general manager Horus Black, will be a rematch from Bloodbath pitting “The Best of British” and current number one contender Rob Rage up against “The Supreme Technician” Hanz Gruber of Croft’s Limited with the number one contendership yet again on the line

Rich: But even that great announcement isn’t the best thing of tonight. The best thing about tonight is that that oaf Christopher Jackson is not in the building, or even the country, thank the lord

Herb: It’s a travesty. I mean, we’re in his home city of Manchester, and I’m sure the hundreds of thousands in attendance were going crazy in anticipation for their hero, but it turns out he’s not even in England, but in some jail cell in NYC. What a nightmare

Rich: It’s my dream come true. Now, let’s get on with the wrestling portion of the show. First off we have-

Mr. Losing Streak! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u8isKsULUNo)

Rich: Really? Interrupted by this knob-head? I mean, he’s yet to win a match yet

Herb: Oh come on Rich, the only reason for that is Douglas Blake

Rich: Well we’ll see. He’s against G-Scorp tonight, and I bet you any money he finds himself on the losing side yet again

This guys got his sights set on the the TV title (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cBqT3CoXoDM)

Herb: How much?

Rich: Wow, you’re serious… How much do hoes cost around here? Ten pounds

Herb: No idea, but deal

Rich: Easiest sex I ever earned


*watch up to 13:04*

Herb: Damn, if he hadn’t of got those knees up I would be ten pounds better off

Rich: But you’re not going to catch somebody the calibre of G-Scorp out with a move like that

G-Scorp grabs HOS and hits a pinning Saito Suplex



Rich: Ye-

HOS kicks out

Rich: Damn

G-Scorp holds on though, and lifts him up for… another Saito Suplex!



Rich: Ye-

HOS kicks out

Rich: Dayum

G-Scorp holds on yet again though, and lifts him up for… a third Saito Suplex!

Rich: This has got to be it



Rich: Ye-

HOS kicks out for a third time

Rich: SHHHHIIIITTTTT!!!! It’s a damn conspiracy! Did you bribe the ref Herb?

Herb: Rich, it’s over a tenner, if I bribed him I’d be making a net loss

Rich: Yer, well… fuck you!

G-Scorp is going mad at the ref, clearly pissed with what he deems a slow count

Rich: See, the Scorpster agrees with me

G-Scorp rolls out of the ring, and pulls out a chair from under it

Rich: Wait no, don’t get disqualified

He throws it into the ring, but the ref picks it up and goes to throw it out of the ring

However, while he is doing this, G-Scorp slips out a pair of brass knuckledusters from his trunks and puts them off

Rich: Ah, I get it now. Pure genius

Herb: Come on ref, how long does it take to throw a chair out of the ring

As G-Scorp pulls his hand back for a knockout punch, the ref renters the ring and grabs his hand

Herb: Phew…

The ref pulls at the ‘dusters but they don’t come off, and somehow they both end up tumbling out of the ring

Rich: What the hell just happened?

Herb: What da heyul? I’d have to watch that five times, five times, five times, five times, five times to understand what just happened

Rich: ………………

HOS makes his way back up, and looks around to see that there is nobody in the ring… until Douglas Blake jumps the guardrail and chop blocks him from behind

Rich: Haha, money is in the bank!

Blake then bounces off the opposite ring ropes before hitting his signature flip piledriver

Rich: BOOM!

Herb: Got to be a DQ

Rich: Ref didn’t see it

Speaking of the ref, he enters the ring along with G-Scorp… just a second after Blake leaves the ring

Herb: Urgh… *passes Rich a tenner*

Rich: Yeah, little Richie won’t go lonely tonight

Herb: I don’t even want to know what that means




Rich: Boom! The HOS losing streak continues while the Scorp train continues to gain momentum

Herb: I was right though, the only reason HOS is on this losing streak is due to Douglas Blake

Rich: Nah mate, Blake only sped up the inevitable, G-Scorp would have beaten him whether Douglas interfered or not

Herb: Debateable… Let’s move on, we’re now going to get the reactions to the main event from Croft’s Limited

01-24-2012, 02:26 AM
*Hanz and Gerald Croft are in their private locker room*

Hanz: It’s about damn time that a GM like PAINS!’s Herr Black came around here to make some smart decisions. Just sorry he had to put up with Rage’s and Kidd’s shit earlier. Herr Black is a busy man and he does not have time to fool with trivial things like that. Kidd’s a no talented midget and his reign will soon end. Rage will never see the title; I will make sure he never gets the chance to. That ass beating we gave him weeks ago will be nothing considered to what I will do to him tonight. To top it off, it will happen in his home country. Ha ha!

Croft: It’s poetic. His home country will be the site of the beginning of his downward spiral into complete obscurity and my home country will be the beginning of Croft’s Limited’s rise to complete power. It was only a matter of time really, and having a competent general manager just speeded the process up

Hanz: The fact that Herr Black put me in a number one contenders match tonight with Rage speaks volumes. He knows great talent when he sees it. He knows that I should be the one getting the title shot at Untamed Khaos, not Rage. And if it were not for our inept GM CJ here on Fury, along with our inept referees I would already be the champ. Hopefully Herr Black cleans this place up, looks like he is doing great with PAIN! , and hopefully ol CJ will never be heard from again.

Croft: Oh isn’t that the truth. Tonight we take one step closer to our rightful positions, at the top of this company, and the whole industry for that matter.

Hanz: And after tonight, the face of Fury will forever change. After I take out Rage, I will go on to beat Kidd at the pay per view. With you guys by my side *points to Croft and Smith* we will run this place. And here in the great city of Manchester, England, it seems like the perfect place to start that revolution.

Croft: And the first victim of this revolution will be you Robert Rage, and there is nothing you can do about it. You may have got lucky once against this man here, but lightning doesn’t strike twice, and you will never defeat the superior technician Hanz Gruber… *whispering into the camera* Ever. Again.

Hanz: Alright, seeing that I am in the main event, once again I might add, I will just sit back and enjoy watching all the action.

Croft: It will be mildly amusing to see the huge discrepancy between you and the rest of the roster

*Camera changes to a picture of the interview area. The TV Champion Jack Phenix is standing with Ashley Ion who is wearing her “Even hotter than my hair” top*

Ashley: I’m here at this time with Jack Phenix. So jack how do you feel about the No 1 contender to your title, G-Scorp?

Jack: Well Ashley he doesn’t bother me, there will always be guys wanting this title and he’s just the one that won a chance to get it, but he’s to high on himself just like KiLLA, he let his ego get to him and that’s why I beat him in our title match and that’s why ill beat G-Scorp at Untamed Khaos

AI: That being said G-Scorp is on a small winning streak at the moment, will that affect your game plan going into Untamed Khaos?

J: Not at all, in fact

*Jack is interrupted by G-Scorp’s arrival*

G-Scorp: So Phenix...... the man who cant even spell his own name, yet thinks hes going to keep his title...... what’s this talk about you retaining at Untamed Khaos hmmmmm? I haven’t lost in months my friend and you are on quite the losing streak.... As Ashley Ion would say, “Care to Comment?”

J: Scorp I don’t care what kinda streak either of us are on because at the end of the day by the end of the day I’ll still be champion and you will be at the back of the line with KiLLA. So you have to prove to me that you deserve a second shot after you lose at Untamed Khaos after I pin you 1.... 2.... 3.

G-Scorp gets up to Phenix face....

G-Scorp: Well if you aren’t going to look at the facts of my dominance let me show you my dominance

G-Scorp swings at Phenix, but he ducks and buries a knee into the number one contender’s chest

Ashley: Oh fuck this; I’m getting out of here

Phenix straps on a headlock and hits G-Scorp with repeated knees to the mid-section, but G-Scorp counters by pushing Phenix backwards into a wall, causing him to release the hold

G-Scorp then starts laying some body shots into the TV champion, but when he goes for a right hook to the head Phenix ducks and G-Scorp connects only with the wall, causing him to grasp his hand in pain

Phenix capitalises on this by hitting him in the head with a running knee, knocking him to the floor. He then gets on top of him in the mount position and lays in shot after shot. G-Scorp blocks most of them though and turns it around on him and manages to lay some shots of his own before Phenix rolls it yet again

Several security members hit the scene and pull the two men apart

G-Scorp: Nah, pussy got scared

At this Jack breaks away from the men holding him back, and lays in another couple of shots before the security team pulls them back apart

Herb: Wow, it didn’t take much for that to kick off did it?

Rich: That Phenix is a hothead, he needs counselling

Herb: Well G-Scorp was the one who started it

Rich: But Phenix continued it

Herb: …

Rich: Don’t worry, few people can rival my debating skills, and most of them are dead

Herb: Wha?

Rich: Don’t hate the player Herb, hate the game

Herb: …

Rich: Well, since my partner seems to have become a temporary mute, it’s left for me to carry this show. No change there then

*Herb punches Rich in the face*

Rich: Ow! What the hell was that for?

Herb: I thought I saw something going to your head

Rich: I get a feeling that’s an “I see what you did there moment”, but I don’t… Moving on, we now have to hear from the Turnes… Heaven knows why

The Turnes are in the back

Luke: Hello EWA, We are the Turnes. Christopher Jackson, sorry about your arrest, but that's what you get for be a paedophile, but Chris, we still love you. I mean, who - other than us - has never been a paedophile. However CJ, we still need 1 thing and that is our title shot versus Two of a Kind. We're still coming for you, and there ain't a damn thing you can do about it. But today, we're against Douglas Blake and KiLLA, two people who haven't teamed together before. Newsflash, we're brothers. We know each other inside out. We have more co-ordination, more charisma and more talent than both of you

Rob: And if you don't like that YOU CAN KISS WHERE THE SUN DON'T SHINE!

Rich: Well that was complete bullsh. I mean, they have about as much charisma as a dead frog and I doubt they know a headlock from a cravat.

Herb: Do you?

Rich: Ye-… *looks disappointed with himself and mutters* No…

Herb: I’ll teach you later.

It’s Blake and KiLLA (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PGVyenDWVfc)

Rich: Brilliant, two of my favourites. These two have been so impressive as of late

Herb: Have they?

Rich: I dunno, I just say that about the guys that I like

Don’t turn channels, it’s the Turnes! No? Sorry, that was bad wasn’t it… (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aSsqavYIgNc)

*Stop at 11:32*

Herb: 720 Kick!

Blake ducks and Luke kicks the refs head off (not literally)

Blake is the first to react, and does so via the means of a swift kick to the nuts

Rich & Herb: *winces*

Douglas smiles at the pain he just caused before rolling out of the ring

Rich: What is he doing out there?

He pulls a chair from under the ring

Rich: Ignore that last question

He climbs onto the ring apron, but before he can go any further HOS runs down the ramp with a chair of his own and hits him in the legs, knocking him off of the ring apron

Rich: Ouch

Douglas lands on his knees, and before he can gather his senses HOS hits a huge chair shot to his head

Herb: Double ouch

Meanwhile, KiLLA is back in the ring and attempts to clothesline Luke Turne, but he ducks and retaliates with a Savate kick


Herb: Blockbuster! And look, Rob is on the top rope!


Herb: Diving Elbow Drop!




Rich: Ah damn it; refs always seem to come to at just the wrong time. A few seconds earlier and he would have DQ’ed the Turnes, a few seconds later and KiLLA would have been able to kick out

Herb: I’ll give it to you, HOS did help out the Turnes there, but only after a blatant low blow by Blake

Rich: It still doesn’t make it fair. Ah what the hell, let’s go to the commercial break

<<<Commercial Break>>>

01-24-2012, 02:28 AM
Herb: Welcome back to EWA an-

Panzer time! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Zym9N-I5F4)

Rich: Ha! This time you got interupted

*Panzer Division, along with their manager Barbie march to the ring, ask for a receive mics*

Barbie: Now allow me to introduce you to the new improved Panzer Division. These two guys, Karl and Oli are hands down the best thing there is in wrestling today. You need proof- look at what they did last week on the New Year’s Supershow. My guys, along with the only other team that is worth a damn here, Two of a Kind, had no problems at all taking down the Turtle brothers and Il Cattivo. Those guys never stood a chance. How Il Cavitto are even in contention for the belts is beyond belief, they are just two guys who thing they are funny. Their hearts are not in this sport. They would rather pander to the crowd for cheap pops. Karl, Oli and I are just here for one thing- business, which is to win the tag belts and of course make a lot of money.

Oli: That right lil sis. Little pussies like Il Cavitto will never have a lasting impact here in EWA, much less the wrestling world. Guys like that are made weak playing up to fans. Sure they may get wins at times, but in the long run they have nowhere else to go but down and they will only have themselves to blame, they would rather crack jokes. That’s why they lost on the Supershow along with the Turnes.

Karl: That’s right Oli. While those guys are cracking jokes, Oli and I are cracking heads, breaking backs and kicking ass. Unlike most teams here we are focused, we bring it to the ring week in and week out. We show our best, we don’t fuck around. We do that in HWA and we do that here in EWA much as we have throughout our whole careers.

Barbie: In other words, my brothers are the best of the best. Il Cavitto are just like that little pimple on your ass- they are there to annoy you, but are in no danger to you in any way or form. Not that I have a pimple on my ass, mine is flawless. Wanna see?

*Barbie proceeds to bend over and raise her skirt up, wearing only a thong underneath, showing her flawless ass to the crowd*

Rich: Boner alert!

Herbie: Too much information Rich, too much information.

Barbie: Ok, now that I got your attention. We will rid this company of those little ass pimples

Rich: Mmmmm… ass…

It’s the ass pimples… (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Jl7-B7VFLs)

*Il Cattivo make their way out onto the ramp and down into the ring, and they’re receiving an ovation from this Manchester crowd*

Uliose: Well Well Well, if it isn’t our little friends from the never end, the Pansy Division.

Roberto: Umm Bro, Whats the never end?

Uliose: Jesus Christ superstars Rob, every week we go through our promos and then you have to go and stuff it up, alright I’ll explain gees. The Pansy division now with added plastic for your convenience *Uliose raises elbows* are heading to the never end because they will NEVER make any friends here, they will NEVER make an impression here in the EEEE-DOUBLEU-AAAYY

*those cheap pops are working*

Uliose: And they will certainly NEVER win tag team gold

Not your everyday GM theme music (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vmI7vbg69tk)

Horus Black makes his way out onto the stage carrying a mic

Horus: Well know, it seems we have a situation on our hands does it not? Well, have no fear, Horus is here. Now I’ve heard rumours that people are comparing me to a certain John Laurentitus. That is about the worst insult a general manager can receive. I am far his superior, in every respect, but especially in regards to creativity. I am Mr Creativity, and I’m going to prove that right here, right now.

The four of you will be in a match at Untold Khaos for the number one contendership to the tag team titles

Herb: Wow, really creative…

Horus: Silence you ingrate

Rich: I think he heard you

Horus: I had not yet finished. The Panzer Division will face Il Cattivo at Untold Khaos for the number one contendership, but it will not just be any match. Oh no, this match stipulation will be picked by one of the two teams you see inside the ring. Which team I hear you ask, hardly able to contain your excitement. Well quieten down and I’ll tell you. The Panzer Division will face off against Il Cattivo over the next three weeks… in a best of three series! First they will face off in singles matchups and if a third match is needed it will be a regular tag team matchup. It’s a good job you’re all in your ring gear, because Uliose and Oli will be facing off right now! How’s that for creativity

*He smiles smugly before walking back behind the curtain*

Herb: Well, to give the devil his due that was pretty goo-

As Herb is speaking, Karl clotheslines Roberto to the outside and Oli attacks Uliose from behind

Rich: Brilliant strategy here by the Panzers.


*watch from 2:09-9:55*

As Uliose gets up onto the top rope Barbie Panzer gets onto the ring apron, but before you can say girl basher Roberto Pamich pulls her off of the ring apron causing her to bash her face on the ring apron

Rich: You can’t do that to a lady

Herb: That’s not a lady Rich, that’s a hoe

Rich: Really? Do you think I could buy a night with her with my winnings?

Karl Panzer roars in anger, and leaps onto Roberto, attacking him like a wild man. However, this leaves Uliose up on the top rope, until he dives off



Rich: Come on Oli...


Rich: …you don’t want to go one-nil down


Rich: Ah shit…

Herb: And Il Cattivo go one nil up against the Panzer Division, that means they only need one more win to be able to choose the stipulation for their match at Untold Khaos

Uliose starts celebrating, then realises that Karl is on the outside of the ring, beating on his brother. He grabs the top rope, and then dives over it onto him with a suicide crossbody!

After doing this, he pulls his brother up to his feet and they leave the ring together, celebrating their victory leaving all three members of the Panzer Division are laid out around ringside

Rich: It just hasn’t been the Panzer Division’s night tonight. I have full faith that they can pull it back and win the series though, have no fear. Time for another commercial break

<<<Commercial Break>>>

01-24-2012, 02:32 AM
*CJ is sat on a bench in a Park, looking thoughtfully at some ducks that are just waddling around*

CJ: Why are them ducks giving me a boner? Ugghhh... I need to get back to Manchester! Maybe if I attach a Sleigh to the ducks and they can fly me back! Do Ducks fly? I don't think they can... They look kinda weak. Hang on, what if they can hear me? I'm so sorry ducks!

*A young boy walks up to CJ and randomly puts his hand on CJ's leg*

CJ: Look, if you’re gonna feel me up then at least put your hand in the right place

*He moves the kid's hand to his "Private Areas"*

There we go, now give it a little squeeze...

*CJ spots two Police Officers walking by and immediately jumps up*

Shit... I've gotta get out of here!

*CJ runs out of the Park and down a street*

Rich: Paedophile!

Herb: Look, the kid started it, CJ just directed him… wait, what am I saying. You’re right Rich that was just wrong

Rich: Well thank God you finally came to your senses.

I wondered what the difference between an Archangel and a regular angel is? Archangel sounds a lot less camp, I’ll give him that. Michael the Angel sounds *mic is cut off* (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9kfi3rN0C50)

Herb: Lillian does go on a bit sometimes, doesn’t she?

Michael the Archangel comes out to a huge pop. He walks down to the ramp and plays to the crowd Jericho style in the ring

Herb: Please don’t troll us…

Michael The Archangel: So hold on from day one I started in EWA Hanz has insulted and belittled me in front of you the fans. But now that Christopher Jackson is gone Horus just awards Hanz a number one contendership match against a man who already earned it. Rob Rage I know will beat Hanz and not let that jealous whiny son of a bitch anywhere nears the EWA Fury World Heavyweight Championship. Now onto Crofts Limited. You guys want to get involved fine but if you guys want to get involved fine by me I'll easily kick your asses as well as Hanz's. Hanz doesn't deserve anything and Rob Rage will win and then I get my rightful shot at the EWA Fury World Heavyweight Championship until then I have a couple jealous assholes to deal with.

And here come the jealous assholes (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CU5x26gAKQg&)

Croft’s Limited strut their way down the ramp to a mixed reaction from the UK fans.

Croft: Hello Michael, welcome to England, my home country and the greatest country in the world! *The crowd pop like hell* Sadly though, we haven’t exactly come to the finest area, but I guess even heaven must have its slums. *and back to the boos Croft usually receives*

Hanz: Bitch all you want Michael- you had your damn chance at the title and you blew it. So just get back in line behind the other guys vying for any of the titles here in EWA. After tonight, I will be the rightful number one contender and there is not a damn thing you can do about it. And at Untold Khaos I will be the new champion. So run along little man and go listen to your boy bands as I know your love of them is a well-known fact. Kind of disturbing if you ask me. I guess you really did not learn shit from your big brothers but you are not only the runt of the litter; you’re an embarrassment to your family name.

At this last comment, Michael snaps and leaps onto Hanz, laying in with thunderous lefts and rights

Herb: You can only insult a man’s pride so many times until he snaps

Brutus grabs Archangel around the waist, and manages to pull him off of Hanz. Archangel then lays into Brutus with some strong elbows, forcing him to release his grip. As Brutus attempts to grab him again, Archangel leaps up, and turns his body around and hits an enziguri sending The Butler out of the ring

Rich: Michael may be faring well now, but sooner or later the numbers are going to catch up to him

Hanz is now back on his feet, and hits a big running knee on Michael

Rich: Told you

But Archangel doesn’t go down. Instead, he looks dazed for a moment before firing up and levelling Hanz with an extremely stiff lariat!

Herb: You were saying

Michael fires up like some sort of Nordic berserker in the middle of the ring.

Herb: I would not want to be in Croft’s shoes right now

Gerald is behind Michael though, and he is yet to notice him. He lifts his cane above his head… and delivers a huge blow to the back of his head, sending a sick cracking sound around the arena

Herb: Oh God, that was horrific!

Brutus makes his way back into the ring, and begins to lay in the boots into the downed Archangel, stomping him into the ground. After a while, Gerald tells him to pick Michael up, which he obliges to do.

With his hands held behind his by Smith, Archangel is stabbed in the stomach with the end of the cane, causing him to keel over in agony

Hanz rolls back into the ring as Michael starts convulsing on the ground. He laughs, then tells Smith to pick him up

Herb: Oh come on, enough is enough

Smith gets him up in the powerbomb position, then powerbombs him down while Hanz hits a neck breaker at the same time!

Rich: Holy shit that was awesome, complete devastation!

As we go to a commercial break, Croft’s Limited are celebrating in the ring and flipping off the crowd


AI: Welcome ladies and gentlemen as I'm here with Brandon Medeiros.

BM: Hey what's up Ashley.

AI: What could you tell me about your current feud with KiLLA?

Brandon: Ha....please Ashley, KiLLA is nothing more than a cockroach to me. He acts like he's better than me yet he has proven nothing. What KiLLA needs to do is shut his fat fucking mouth because he is starting to get on my nerves... Hey Ashley before you go there is something I wanted to ask you...You think maybe this Saturday if you’re not doing anything we could-

*Boom, KiLLA comes out of nowhere and delivers a clubbing blow to the back of Brandon’s head*

AI: Oh for fucks sake

Ashley runs off as KiLLA picks up Brandon and throws him into a wall

As KiLLA attempts to throw him into another wall, he counters and wall run backflips over the top of his assailant and follows up by dropkicking him to the back of the head sending him face first into the wall

Herb: Wow it’s really kicking off in the back, but we have to go to a match now

“Jobber” Jack Johnson is already in the ring

Here comes the Hooligan (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g2eHh4GcJMQ)

Hooligan comes down the ramp, looking a lot less hooligan-y than usual. He is wearing all black and looking rather reserved

Rich: What’s wrong with Van?

Herb: I hear he’s had a loss recently

Rich: Oh, I’m sorry… Well on behalf of myself and EWA, you have our sympathy

Van gets into the ring, and sits there. Everybody in the arena hold a minute of silent for the sad moment. RIP Maggie

VHX: Thank you. Maggie, this one is for you


*watch from 6:18-10:00*

Rich: Well this is entertainment!

Herb: How can you say that? This match stopped being a fair fight long ago. Van is just picking apart Jackson.

Rich: I know! It's about time someone put him in his place.

*Van hits Johnson with a big Enzuigiri kick. He then begins to pick Johnson up, and the crowd begin to chant "Let's go Johnson!". Soon the whole audience joins in with the chant, and Van then begins to look left and right like Hulk Hogan used to. VHX then drops Johnson, who falls back to the floor. VHX proceeds to join in with the chant, which pisses off the crowd. He then focuses attention on Johnson, who is still out of it, and puts him in his submission move, The Vantastic Clutch.*


*Jack Johnson begins tapping whilst screaming in pain, so the ref calls for the bell. He grabs Van's Alpha Revolution Global Heavyweight Championship title, and turns to the victor, who still has The Vantastic Clutch locked in.*

Ref: You have until 5 to break the hold or else. 1...2...3...4—

*He then let’s go. As he is handed his title back from the ref, he is warned to stop doing this to wrestlers. Van then demands the ref raise his arm in victory. He holds up the Championship title. VHX then goes to the side, where he is handed a mic.*

Herb: Looks like he wants to get something off his chest.

Van: First of all, this waste of space has to get out of my ring. *He then proceeds to kick Johnson out of the ring, until he falls off the apron. The boos coming from the live audience are piercing.* Now don't worry, I'd envy me as well. *He lifts the belt closer to his face.* I like shiny things too. *Van has a self-indulgent smirk on his face.* I'm gonna get straight to the point. Broc, for some stupid reason, you attack and interfere in all my matches, costing me these matches. Making me lose the last match against Ryan 'The Freak' Wells is the last straw. You know as well as I, that if you attacked me before a match, instead of after, I would dismantle you. Unfortunately for you, you've now pissed me off, and revenge will be the Vanity's.

Rich: Complete domination, Vans just took care of that boy in under four minutes, and to be honest he didn’t even look to be in second gear

Herb: All true, but he did face a guy with the nickname jobber

Rich: Still impressive :P

Herb: I’m getting through my earpiece that the backstage brawl is still going! We’re going to cut to it now

01-24-2012, 02:33 AM
KiLLA and Brandon have now moved away from the interview area and are now brawling at the gorilla position. KiLLA is split open at the head and looks to have taken the majority of the beatdown

Brandon kicks KiLLA in the leg as he tries to stagger away from Medeiros. Medeiros then follows up by whipping him into the wall

Brandon charges his, looking to follow up on his advantage, but KiLLA gets a boot up, knocking Medeiros backwards

KiLLA capitalises on his advantage by charging Brandon while he is still stunned, knocking him inside out with a huge clothesline.

With Brandon down, KiLLA looks around for a weapon for him to use. His sights set on a toolbox left on the floor, and from it pulls a screwdriver

Brandon has made it to his feet by the time KiLLA comes back to attack him with the screwdriver

Herb: He’s going to stab him!

Just as KiLLA is bringing the screwdriver down, Brandon gets his boot up and kicks him in the gut, doubling him over and causing him to drop the screwdriver

Herb: Thank God

Brandon follows up with a spinning back thrust kick straight into KiLLA’s head, sending him sprawling

Rich: We’re going to leave the action here again for a little while, but we’ll be back soon

Rob Rage is in his lockeroom, sporting his new Made in Britain T-Shirt


Rob: Wow, it’s all kicking off here tonight in Manchester England! *Big payoff for that cheap pop* Only in Britain do you get a crowd like this, nowhere else. Today is my glorious return to England, five months ago I set off to the States in search of fame and glory, and five months later I return not only a Universal Champion, but also the number one contender for a world f’in title! *Pop goes the weasel, scrap that, pop goes Manchester* I think it’s fair to say I’ve been fairly successful. So I come back to the country I grew up in, and get the warmest response a guy could ask for. Everything is going perfectly. That is until some knob jockey by the name of Horus Black decides that he wants to take over Fury and puts me in a match for the number one contendership, which I had already won, against Hanz, who I had already beat.

Horus, I can tell you don’t like me, and I can tell you don’t want me to be champion. Well tough shit mate, because there isn’t nothing you can do about it. You can throw a thousand fucking hurdles in my way, and I’ll still win the race. Nothing is going to stop my fairy tales happy ending, not you, not Hanz, not nobody! And you can say this with me


*CJ is walking through a Desert when he decides to sit down and catch his breath*

CJ: How the fuck did I get here? I didn't think there were any Deserts in New York! I'm sooo tired!

*A sound of a Helicopter become louder and louder and CJ looks up. There, landing a Helicopter right next to him is none other than the Queen of England*


*The Helicopter Doors open and out walks the Queen. She walks over to CJ, pulls out a cigarette from her handbag and lights it*

Queen: You remind me of someone... You’re not Christopher Jackson are you?

CJ: I am! I am! And you’re the Queen right?

Queen: Call me Lizzie, we're all friends here

CJ: Why are you flying a Helicopter Liz?

Queen: Well Kate and William are playing Scrabble, Harry is out getting pissed and Charles is just a dick.

CJ: What about Phillip?

Queen: Masturbating to a picture of Rihanna. God knows what goes through his head sometimes...

CJ: Listen, I know we've just met and what not, but is there any chance of a lift back to Manchester?

Queen: Sure! But first...

*She leans into Christopher and kisses him passionately*

I need you to do me a favour first...

<<<Commercial Break>>>

Herb: Welcome back to EWA and w-

Rich: Wait, look up on the stage

Brandon Medeiros is lying on the stage at the top of the ramp. KiLLA walks out after him. Both guys are now split open, and blood is everywhere

Herb: They’re still going at it, I’d totally forgot about them

Rich: You silly twat

Herb: http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1437/1203788493_602571b01c.jpg

KiLLA lifts Brandon to his feet, and then pushes him down the ramp. He falls awkwardly and rolls down it to ringside

KiLLA swaggers down the ramp, clearly confident that he is going to be the only one walking away from this fight

Just as KiLLA is about to reach the ring, Medeiros slides back into the ring

Rich: Well that just pissed my man KiLLA off

Herb: Your man?

Rich: It’s street talk nigga!

Herb: Be careful who you say that to, or you’ll get stabbed

KiLLA follows Brandon into the ring

He goes for a clothesline…

But Brandon matrixes it

And catches him with a backflip kick!

Herb: Yeah! What a move there by Medeiros

KiLLA is sent staggering backwards, and uses the ropes to keep himself up

Brandon charges at him






Rich: By Gawd!

Herb: We need EMTS out here right now, Brandon could be dead

As if on cue (anybody says it’s staged and I’ll kill them) a medical team rush down to the ringside area and begin checking on Brandon

Herb: I think it’s best if we take another commercial break now, Brandon could be seriously hurt here

<<<Commercial Break>>>

01-24-2012, 02:34 AM
We re-join the show and Brandon is being taken out on a stretcher with his neck in a brace

Rich: Welcome back to EWA Fury. You join us to see Brandon Medeiros being carted out on a stretcher after some domination by KiLLA

Herb: It certainly was devastating. I wish Brandon a speedy recovery, but after a move like that, he’s probably going to be out for a while

Rich: That’s what you get when you mess with a man the calibre of KiLLA

Herb: Please fantasise about KiLLA in a dark room on your own, that way nobody has to see or hear about it

Here come Two of a Kind (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C--gpM2BIW8)

Paul Conrad and Kid Wonder make their way down the ramp to a chorus of boos. They just smile and hold up the belts

Conrad: The gold doesn’t lie ladies and gentlemen

Wonder: Best tag team in the world right here!

Herb: We have here a Champion vs. Champion match of sorts

Rich: That’s right, one half of the tag team champions Paul Conrad is going to be taking on the TV champion Jack Phenix

Herb: After an impressive win by The Turnes earlier tonight, the challengers for their titles at Untamed Khaos, Two of a Kind need to pick up at least one victory to keep up their momentum. It’s not going to be an easy task though, as both Jack Phenix and Broc, as that’s who Kid Wonder is scheduled to face later on, are top class athletes and don’t pick up too many losses

It’s the TV champion (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KfJwXiElJKw)

Rich: Phenix finds himself in exactly the same position though. His opponent for Untamed Khaos, G-Scorp, also picked up a win here tonight against HOS. Something has to give in this match

As Phenix is halfway down the ramp, G-Scorp runs down behind him with a steel chair in hand.

Phenix hears him, and turns around only to be met by a wicked chair shot to the head

Rich: And it may be Jack’s skull after that shot. Wicked!

G-Scorp isn’t finished though, and gives him another chair shot for good measure. The chair is now completely bent out of shape from the ferocity of the attack

Herb: This was going to be a great match, one of the huge draws for this card, and G-Scorp has deprived us of it.

Rich: Naww, sad panda

G-Scorp still isn’t finished, and lifts Phenix back to his feet. He positions him on the side of the ramp, then suplexes him, with the small of his back landing on the barricade

Rich: Ouchie, Scorpsters on form today

G-Scorp STILL isn’t finished. He picks up the chair again, and with Jack Phenix still balanced on the barricade, hit him in the face causing him to fall awkwardly between the ramp and barricade

Herb: I know I must sound like a broken record, but enough is enough

But G-Scorp STILL isn’t finished. With Phenix stuck in the small gap between the ramp and barricade, G-Scorp positions his foot on his throat and pushes down with all his strength

Herb: Come on, somebody has to stop this. Phenix is defenceless, and G-Scorp is going trying to kill him!

Rich: I’m sure he’ll let him go just before that stage; I’ve heard he’s really a nice guy

The Security team run down the ramp and pull G-Scorp away. Not a second too soon, as Phenix is convulsing as they lift him out and has regurgitated what looks like his previous meal all over himself

Rich: That’s disgusting and no way for a TV champion to behave. #Fire_Phenix

Herb: You’re a complete dick, you know that don’t you

Conrad: Very well done G-Scorp. Nah I mean it well done on ripping off these fans

*Crowd Confused*

You see everyone knows we are the greatest team ever to E-Fed so we decided to make your tickets worth twice as much by competing in singles competition yet G-Scorp takes out my opponent before I could Conrad crush the fucker so G-Scorp... you’re gonna get what’s coming to ya!

*Fans are actually stating to cheer*

We decided that we were not going to just enter singles competition see but no...... we wanted to make an instant impact so just like the way we are dominating the tag team division, we are going to take over the singles scene so me and Kid thought what better ways to take over was for me to take out the T.V. Dinner champion and for Kid Wonder to beat the Undefeated Broc.

Kid Wonder: Whoah whoah Conrad Let me ask you something?

Conrad: Sure?

Wonder: What’s the definition of undefeated

Conrad: Ummm someone who has never lost

Wonder: Exactly, you see Broc you can walk around telling everyone I’m undefeated, I’ve never lost well guess what? I can say that as well, so can my buddy Mad Dog up in here, and not only that Wack Jack can claim he is undefeated hell even the this goofy camera guy can walk around saying he’s undefeated even my 4 year old cousin could walk out here and say she’s undefeated..... You know what all these people and you have in common? you have never face Kid Wonder cause everyone that has faced me in any E-Fed has never beaten me you know what that means Broc.... I end streaks and tonight I end your because I am Kid Wonder and I MEAN BUSINESS!!

Herb: Well Wonder seems pretty confident about him ending Broc’s streak. We’re about to find out if he can back it up

And he’ll have to get through this guy to do it (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_zMEBf8i4wM)

Herb: Which is no easy task

Rich: This is Kid Wonder we’re talking about here, of course he’ll beat him

Herb: Double or nothing?

Rich: Done


*watch up to 9:07*

Herb: What an even match this has been, and thankfully Conrad is yet to get involved. Broc’s up top and… dammit I spoke too soon, Conrad is up on the ring apron

While Broc and Wonder are battling on the top rope, Conrad is up on the ring apron distracting the ref

Wonder has Broc set up for the superplex

Rich: HOLY SHIT!!! I think Broc just broke Kid Wonder’s nose! Blood is flying everywhere!

Needless to say Wonder has now fallen off of the top rope, and is lying prone on the floor. However, the ref is still occupied with Conrad

Van Hooligan is sprinting down the ramp, cricket bat in hand

Broc hasn’t noticed him, and prepares for some form of aerial move from the top rope

Just as Broc is about to dive off the top rope, VHX leaps up from the floor to the ring apron and nails Broc with his bat to the side of the head (Triple H with sledgehammer-esque) sending Broc flying through the air and crotching him on the ropes

Every male in the arena wince in unison

Rich: Yowzers!

Broc falls into the ring

Conrad lets the ref go

Wonder pins


Broc’s foot is on the rope


Conrad pushes Broc’s foot off the rope

The ref checks the ropes, no feet on them to be seen


Rich: That’ll be another ten quid

Herb: Oh for fucks sake, it took three men, a cricket bat, an ill placed rope, and several accounts of cheating to beat Broc

Rich: Don’t you just love it when a plan comes to fruition! No longer can Broc brag about being undefeated in EWA, as, well, he’s not

Herb: Well no shit Sherlock. Oh for Christ’s sake, they’re not finished. I would say there is no need for this, but nobody seems to listen

Conrad, Wonder and Hooligan are all in the ring, stomping on Broc

Wonder: *clutching his broken nose* You break my nose; I break your back asshole!

Turnes to the rescue! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yF5w32W-o7I&)

Herb: Yeah, let’s go Turnes!

Rich: They’re outnumbered; they’re just going to get added to the body count

VHX and TOAK look at each other. They have the numbers advantage, they should be fine right?

Turnes slide into the ring

Conrad swings at Rob

Rob ducks and hits a blue thunder bomb!

Wonder goes for a big boot on Luke

Luke slides underneath

Kid turns around

Luke jumps up and smashes his knee right into Wonder’s already broken nose

Herb: You want to retract that statement Rich?

Both Turnes turn (see what I did there ;)) their attention to our resident sports hooligan

VHX looks first at Rob, then at Luke

He’s outnumbered, but does have his trusty cricket bat in hand

He bails from the ring and runs off with his tail between his legs

Herb: Pussy

Rich: He’ll get revenge, just wait and see

Herb: I’ll be waiting for Broc to get his hands on him after tonight, that’s for sure. We’re going to go for our last commercial break now, see you on the other side

<<<Commercial Break>>>

01-24-2012, 02:35 AM
Herb: Welcome back to EWA Fury. It’s main event time, let’s hand it over to Lillian for the introductions

Lillian: It’s now time for our main event matchup of the evening. It is scheduled for one fall and on the line is the number one contendership for the EWA Fury World Heavyweight Championship. Introducing first, the current number one contender, from Buckingham England *Big Pop*, the Best of British *Bigger Pop* Rob RAGE! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uDd16QVdBAA) *HUGE POP* (think CM Punk in Chicago sized pop times two)

Rich: Holy shit, I can’t even hear myself think

*Rob comes out and the crowd becomes deafening*

Herb: I think these guys may like him, just a little

*Rich can’t hear due to him having his hands over his ears*

Lillian: And his opponent

The cheers immediately turn to boos, although they are still just as deafening*

Lillian: Accompanied by the leader of Croft’s Limited Gerald Croft and his Butler Brutus Smith, from Germany *never goes down well in England*, the superior technician, [COLOR=#00FFFF]]Hanz Gruber (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VATb8PwzbDk

Herb: And they really don’t like these guys

Rich: Carry on with this commentary and you’ll end up as unemployed as Carlos Alberto Ramon

*Herb whispers something to Rich*

Rich: He’s back? Ah shit… Anyway, I don’t see why they don’t like Croft’s Limited, they should be home country heroes. I have heard Mancunians are pretty stupid though…

*A fan hears this and lobs a beer bottle at Rich, knocking him out cold*

Herb: I shouldn’t but lol


*Watch up to 10:54*

Herb: Rage has got Croft! This is gonna be good

The ref gets in between the two men, but Rage won’t let go

Smith pulls down on Croft’s legs, pulling him to the floor, but Rob still won’t let go. The ref, Rage, Croft and Smith all go crashing to the floor

Only two men land on their feet, Rage & Smith


Now only Rob is standing

Rich: Well that was uncalled for

Rob slides back into the ring, and ducks a clothesline from Hanz the runs the ropes

Hanz charges at Rob

Rob charges at Hanz

Hanz goes for a crossbody

Rob goes for a crossbody

Huge collision in the ring! Both men are down

Rich: In fact, everybody around ringside is down…

Cue Alex Kidd, who runs down the ramp and slides into the ring

Herb: Oh for Christ’s sake, not this jack-off

Rich: There is nothing wrong with jacking off over Christ, you gotta be PC

Herb: *facepalm*

With Rob still down, Kidd grabs him around the waist from behind


Rich: Styles Clash to Rage!

Hanz positions Hanz on top of Rob, but the ref is still out

Alex Kidd turns around to look for the ref…

Herb: Holy shit when did Archangel get out here?


Rich: Cheat!

Herb: Oh shut the fuck up!

Archangel turns the pin over, so Rob is on top of Gruber

Croft and Smith are now back onto their feet

Archangel soars out of the ring with a tope con hilo

Croft and Smith are now back on their backs

Rich: And yet again everybody at ringside is down. That can only mean one thing

Out comes Horus Black with a chair in hand (it’s almost like these things are planned)

Herb: No! No way! He’s the GM of PAIN!, what’s he doing out here in a Fury matchup?

Rich: He’s making a statement

Herb: That’s your answer to everything

Rich: Yer, true, got a problem?

Horus makes his way into the ring, and raises the chair above his head

Suddenly a huge crashing sound is heard, and the Queen’s helicopter breaks through the roof of the arena

Herb: What. The. Heyul?

CJ is hanging from a rope ladder protruding from the Royal chopper. He holds his hands up to his mouth and screams


Sadly though, CJ forgets he is hanging from a rope ladder some 40 meters in the air, and by raising his hands to his mouth he has let go

He falls

The whole fifty meters

Straight onto Horus Black

Herb: Oh!

Rich: My!

Herb: GOD!

Rich: Holy shit, at least one of them has to be dead

EMTs rush the ring and carry both men out on stretchers

Herb: Well that was a bit of a crappy line there by Roba…

Meanwhile, in the ring, Hanz has made it back to his feet in the centre of the ring while Rob has pulled himself up in the turnbuckle

Rich: I almost forgot there was a match still going on

Hanz charges at the corner and leaps into the air, and goes for a running double high knee

Rob moves out the way at the last second and both of Hanz’s knees go crashing into the corner

Hanz makes his way back to his feet, still clutching at his knees

Rob takes advantage of this, and grabs the reverse of Hanz’s knee, setting him up for

Rich: Oh God no!

Herb: Oh God yes! It’s Rage Bomb TIME!

Rob hoists him up into the air in the fisherman’s suplex position, then drops him down into the RAGE BOMB!


Herb: No body kicks out of this


Rich: Come on Hanz, be the first


*The crowd absolutely erupts!*

Herb: YEAH! Rob retains his number one contendership!

Rich: …

Herb: What’s the matter Rich, got nothing to say?

Rich: He still won’t get past Kidd. Nobody can get lucky three times in a row

Herb: That’s all we have time for tonight. Thanks for watching, from EWA and Manchester, goodnight

The cameras fade to black as you see Rob dive into the crowd and crowd surf around his native crowd’s arena

01-25-2012, 09:29 PM
My very first filler!!!!!!!!! Can not believe Rob or Destruction did steal this one, lol.

Anyways, PAIN! will be posted within the next few days- just a few more things have to be finished with it.

The semi-finals(two matches) for the PAIN! World Heavyweight Belt will take place on the show. The two winners of those matches will go on to Untamed Khaos and the first PAIN! champ will be named.

01-26-2012, 03:19 AM
Episode 1

Theme Song:
Right Here, Right Now - FatBoy Silm


Hello everyone! Welcome to the first episode of Point of Convergence!

This is a brand new show hosted weekly by yours truly, The younger brother of the Fury GM CJ, Donatello Jackson! Or Donnie for short.

So! Now that you now know who I am, I should probably tell you what this show is all about!

Well. I actually don't know, I forgot to tell my boss who'se yelling at me through the earpiece in my ear that I wasn't listening to him when he was tell me what I was going to be doi—What? Read...The what? The Autocue?
Oh! Good idea!

This show brings you closer to the EWA wrestlers and will help you see upcoming debut talent and reactions from well-established wrestlers about what they feel about certain topics.

Oh so basically it's an interview show! Aww yeah! You can tell who has all the brains in the family.

01-26-2012, 03:25 AM
So without further ado, Please welcome the 1 and only: Shining Light!

I suppose that as much as it pains me to be in someone else's company, I'm happy to be here. At least the conversation will be all about me for once.

Awesome! Well, everyone knows you're the current JBW champion. So first things first. What is it like being at the top of the mountain in 1 of the biggest feds?

Being the Showdown Heavyweight Champion gives me a sense of power amongst the rest of the Roster. Obviously to be a Champion you have to be better than the rest and I know that I have proved that. God gave me the title as a reward for all the hard work I have done for him over the years, and I know that with him by my side... this title will not be leaving me for a long time.

What was going through your mind when you achieved your goal of becoming JBW champ?

It wasn't a goal that I set out to achieve. It was a reward from God for all the hard work I had done for him. I was about to set into battle with "The Devil" Kayden James, and the Lord knew that, by giving me the title, I would be more willing to sacrifice myself in order to save the World.

Sacrifice yourself? That sounds a bit exaggerated...

It is not. This "Holy War" is going to bring the end of this World and myself. I am willing to put myself on the line, as long as the Lord's plans come to fruition. For as it says in the book of Matthew, "For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it."

You're a very religious and spiritual man, no doubt about that. But if God was to choose 5 random numbers and a bonus ball between 1-50... Which numbers would he pick this week?

*Shining laughs* I believe that he would choose the numbers that you do not have.

Damn, I really need a spare million or 2...Anyway, now that you're a World Champion, what does the future have in store for Mr. Light?

I intend on leading the elite followers of God to the New World. I have been given a mission from God to save his people and I intend on using my status as the Showdown Heavyweight Champion to spread the Lord's message.

Have you ever thought about creating your own cult of followers? For people who believe in the same words you do?

I do not need my own cult of followers. Whether or not they decided to pick up a Cross and follow the Lord is no concern of mine. They will all be punished on the Judgement Day and they will be sorry that they refused to accept God into their lives. I already have my Assasians Creed and Loki and Aeriel are more faithful to me than any other person could be.

01-26-2012, 03:33 AM
I was just wondering...In a non-pervy way mind you, but I don't suppose you have Barbie Panzer's phone number do you?

I don't have a phone. I don't see the point in modern day technology. They were all created by The Devil and allowing yourself to have one of those items is selling your soul to him in my eyes.

Damn! *Don frowns* Foiled again!

I have to ask this 1 to ya. It was our most wanted to ask question on our Facebook wall to you. What made you come to EWA's neck of the woods?

I was originally approached by that freak of a GM Christopher Jackson,and I knew that he was someone who I did not want to do business with. It took a personal phone call from the Owner of EWA, MrMcGiven, to convince me to attend the New Year's Eve Supershow. I wasn't impressed by what it had to offer and I was considering leaving early before even meeting Mr McGiven. However, when I was watching the Show from my Locker Room, I watched Alex Kidd utter the words "I am the best in the World". That isn't true, I am the best in the World. And that is why I headed straight out to thering to confront him.

What did you think of the match you had with him? Do you know the mystery man who cost you the match?

I will admit that I did underestimate Alex Kidd at the beginning. However, the one tactic I always use is that during the progress of the match, I always manage to discover my strengths and weaknesses. Alex Kidd got more aggressive each time I kicked out of a pin attempt and I managed to counter his aggression with my own speed and strength.

As for the mystery man, I have no idea who he is and nor do I want to. As far as I am concerned, he saved EWA from total destruction. If I had become World Champion then it would have been the end for EWA.

What do you mean "The end for EWA"?

That I am not going to comment on.

Ok then... Tell us more about your past for anyone who doesn't 100% know you. Also you have to tell me where you buy that badass get-up, I've always wanted to be Ezio.

I was born in Corpus Christi Texas, and my Mother and Father were two very religious people. I attend Mass every day and I always looked forward to the Priest's sermons. One week however, my Priest told us all that we should help people who aren't even Christians. I was enraged at his comments so much, that I headed up onto the Alter and continuously struck him until he passed out. My Parent's disowned me and I became homeless. All I had was the Bible that my Grandmother had gave to me, and I managed to convince someone to insert a piece of steel after each Book in it, so that if I ever needed to defend myself... I would be able to use it. I began to preach on the streets, where many people mocked me and called me a "God Whacko". Then one day, I was approached by a Wrestling Company promoter who asked me to attend a trial. I reluctantly agreed and I haven't looked back since...

As for my Attire, I believe that you may purchase one from the Vatican giftshop... *Shining smirks* Seriously though, my Attire was given tome by the Lord. I walked out of my House one day and there was a package right in front of me. I opened it and inside it was my attire.


Do you have a message for the man or woman who cost you your championship match?

I will be back one day. And I will want revenge.

01-26-2012, 03:40 AM
I should ask this for people who don't know. What's your finishing move?

Eternal Salvation. It is basically a "Flip Bottom or a Standing Moonsault Side Slam"

So you're a part-timer on EWA currently, making odd appearances here and there. But could you ever see yourself being a full-time roster member in the future?

It would depend if this pathetic excuse of a Company ever stepped up it's game. JBW is where legends are made, and as far as I am concerned, EWA is merely a child's playground.

Do you see potential in EWA to become quite a big EFed?

It has talent. But good looks and being able to cut a good promo canonly get you so far... What matters is how well you perform in the ring, because at the end of the day, that is what wins you Championships... and that is what makes you a Legend.

Who're your favourite 5 wrestlers currently?

I have none. Every wrestler is my enemy and I will always need to up my game. I am the best in the World and nobody is ever going to take that spot from me.

I've just been informed that #ShiningLight is trending worldwide on Twitter! Oh and #BarbiesPhoneNumber is the number 1 trend in Germany...Err...Where was I?
Ah! Lemme ask you this. What is your 1 regret in life so far?

Apart from agreeing to be part of this interview... I would say that it is frightening Jessie J away when she attended a Showdown Live Event. I know that God created us to be together but she is completely unaware of it.

How long do you see yourself wrestling for?

Until the end of my Crusade against "The Devil" Kayden James. After that, my mission on Earth is complete and I am free to spend aneternity with my Lord and Savior.

You come across as a very weird person...

And you come across as a very annoying person. But unfortunately, we can't all get what we wish for...

*Don is trying to hold back the tears* Y'know...Words hurt! *he sniffs and trys towrap this interview up*
My...my final question to you is this bombshell: Who will win the SuperBowl? New York Giants or New England Patriots?!

As I have mentioned before, my issues against modern day technology prevent me from having any knowledge about who is still in the Superbowl.

Hmm...Patriots fan I'm guessing then. Well Thank you for being the 1st person on this new show. It was an honour to have you on the show.

I suppose I should be courteous and thank you too.

*Shining walks off and the camera focus' to Donnie*

01-26-2012, 03:46 AM
Well their we have it folks! This has been the first episode of Point of Convergence! I hope you all enjoyed the show and didn't laugh at me for sharing my name with a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle.

Next week, we will have the current EWA Fury World Championship Alex Kidd and a mystery surprise guest!

*Don waves goodbye for a few seconds*

We off the air?

Good...I've been dying to take a crap for ag--Wait what!? 4 seconds left?!

*Don face turns red and frozen completely like a deer looking at on coming traffic*Err...Gotta go! *runs bolts off the camera and luckily for him the show ends.*

01-26-2012, 11:15 AM
Great Show Van and Shining

01-26-2012, 11:15 AM
Now I'm stealing fillers

01-26-2012, 11:16 AM
eyehatecena I'll leave the rest to you

01-26-2012, 11:16 AM
Well, except this one

01-26-2012, 11:26 AM
Lol..... I got this filler....na na na na

Great show Vans, of course I knew it would be.

Stay tuned for PAIN! in the next few days- live from Newcastle, England. Mike Muir will be taking on Gaileo in one semi-finals match, and Ryku O'Ryan will be taking on Raden Blain in the other semi-finals match. That plus more action

01-28-2012, 01:02 AM
EWA OFFICIAL THEME SONG- I’m a Gun- Shotgun Messiah (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9-SC8h5uPPA)
Pyro goes off and PAIN! Logo is on the eTron *Crowd is pumped up

PAIN! Episode 2

Harry: Hello everyone and welcome to the second episode of EWA PAIN!. I am Harry Esel calling the action here on PAIN! along with my colleague Carter Davis. We are coming to you from the Metro Radio Arena in beautiful Newcastle, England. Tonight we continue with the second round of the tournament to crown the first PAIN! Heavyweight World Champion- with the winners going on to fight for the belt at Untamed Khaos. Our GM Horus Black will not be here tonight as he is flying on to Fury’s next show.

Carter: I am psyched to be here in EWA, as it is the fastest growing fed around. The talent on both Fury and here on PAIN! are the best in the business. Some of the guys on Carnage are great too and I expect big things for them when they move on to PAIN! or Fury.

Harry: I know, some of those guys are already stars in other feds like HWA and BWA, so I am sure they will move up soon.

Carter: And seeing that Herbie and Rich are too lazy to call two shows- we got the call up. They suck anyways, so it’s no big lost to the fans watching tonight.

Harry: Actually they are both great commentators, Herbie is a nice guy, but Rich is kind of a douche bag. The guys calling Carnage seem nice too.

Carter: Nah, they all suck donkey dicks. Anyways to start off the show we will hear from the four men in the semifinals for the belt- Mike Muir, Gaileo, Ryku O’Ryan and Raden Blain. They will be interviewed by our resident hottie Faith LeFuckme.

Harry: That wasn’t nice.

Carter: What? She has a great rack, a killer ass. Looks like she could be Candice Michelles twin.

Harry: Yeah, but that still was not nice. And her last name is Leflur.

* Blain walks out on the stage first, followed by O’Ryan, followed by Gaileo and finally Muir. PAIN! interviewer Faith Leflur walks out next and goes over to Muir first.

Faith: Mike. you are in a semi final match with Gaileo tonight and the winner will go on to fight O’Ryan or Blain at the PPV. What are your thoughts going into your match and what do you have to say about the tournament so far?

Mike Muir: Well first I would like to welcome you to EWA Faith, hope everybody is making you feel at home here.

Faith: Why thank you, that was very sweet.

Carter: Wait a minute, is he hitting on her? Dammit, she wouldn’t even talk to me backstage.

Harry: No, Muir is just being a nice guy. And you were kind of stalking her.

Carter: I just wanted her number and I was just following her around, not stalking..

Mike Muir: No problem Faith. Everybody in the tournament has worked their asses off so far, with the best rising to the top. It’s down to the four of us up here on the stage. Tonight I have to take on this man *points to Gaileo, who made a very big statement last week on PAIN! against Fuegos Artificiales. And on the New Years Super show he also put on a good showing against The Archangel. But before that match you *points at Gaileo again took things a bit too far. How dare you attack the fans.

*Crowd is chanting Gaileo sucks, Gaileo sucks!

Harry: Yeah, I got to agree, he took it too far.

Carter: Just looked like he was having fun. Those fans were a bunch of fat slobs- like most Americans.

Harry: um, we are both Americans

Carter: Yeah, but you are fat-ish while I am a sexy beast.

Harry: Yeah right.

Mike Muir: I am glad I am taking you on tonight. I fight for the fans; I would never insult them like you did in New York. The fans are the reason we are here, they paid good money to see us put on a great show. They are the reason we get paid. You are just lucky Mr. Black has not banned your ass for what you did.

Carter: Blah Blah Blah. Wake me up when he is finished.

Mike Muir: But enough about Gaileo, I would like to say something about these other two guys * points to O’Ryan and Blain - O’Ryan is someone I have a hell of a lot of respect for. He has had a pretty rough life but look at where he is now. He owes a lot to Shawn Michaels for his training, but from what I have seen from him in the ring, he is now right up there with The Heartbreak Kid. Now Blain is another story, sure he is a big guy, and yes he also had a rough life, but this guy is twisted. I am not much for religion myself, I mean I believe in God and all, but I never go to church. But this guy takes it too far. Take all that away and he is a very impressive athlete for his size, but I am not afraid of him. That said, I will win this tournament and will be honored to represent this company as its first PAIN! World Champion.

*Crowd is cheering for Muir.

Faith: Well good luck Mike.

01-28-2012, 01:15 AM
*Muir shakes her hand and is about to walk backstage when Gaileo gives him a shove in the back. Faith backs out the way just in time to not be knocked down, then steps off to the side. Muir gets into Gaileo’s face and it looks like a fight is about to break out. Security comes out and separates the two. Two of them walk Muir backstage, while the other 5 stay on stage.

Carter: That Gaileo has some balls, I like that.

Harry: You like men with balls?

Carter: Well yeah, you know what I mean.

*Faith walks reluctantly up to Gaileo now.

Faith: Gaileo, I know you were trying to make a statement there, but you could have saved it for the ring. That said, I have to ask you, what is on your mind?

Gaileo: Let me tell you something Faith. At the EWA New Year's Super show - I bodyslammed a 22 stone man. That's 308lbs. That's more than Mick Foley and he's one of the fattest World Champions ever.

Carter: See, Foley is a great example of a fat American.

Harry: He may be a bit on the heavy side now, but look at him in his prime

Carter: Yeah, he was fat then too. Now he is so fat the only job he could get was calling the action on a HWA show- that’s a big fall from grace from when he was in TNA and WWE.

Harry: I like HWA though. And Foley was on RAW the other day,

Gaileo: I destroyed Michael "The Archangel" completely that night, so much that he had to resort to poking me in the eye, so he can hit the STO. But let's talk about this tournament tonight. Mike Muir or, as I prefer to call you - my 1st victim, you think you can beat me. YOU THINK YOU CAN STOP THE GAILEO EXPRESS. BECAUSE I'VE GOT NEWS FOR YOU BROTHER - when I'm in the drivers seat - no one can stop me. No one can stop the Gaileo Express you can only hope to delay it. You are from Mississippi right... well did you know Mississippi is an anagram of YOU HAVE NO TALENT. In the ancient language of Toycalona Mike Muir is a translation of... CRAP. Also the superkick - your finisher - translates as... Pearl Necklace. So while your trying to give me a pearl necklace I'm too busy whooping your ass to become the new PAIN World Champion.

Carter: Ok, gotta say I really like this guy. And he is right, Muir is crap. My friend gave me a pearl necklace once.

Harry: What?

Gaileo: Raden Blain, Raden Blain. Priests beat you. I bet my EWA contract that that's not all they did to you. Raised by anti-religiests? So basically, you were raised by some people who the only way to get noticed was eliminate God from the World. News flash for you, I'm not here to get rid of God - I just want to fight him. I don't want to eliminate him, because he provided more of a challenge to me than anyone on the Pain Roster. You've killed 1 man, well I've killed 34. I killed my mum, my sister, and even my baby brother for stealing the attention away from me. You can stab me with a knife, you can shoot me with a gun, but each time I will come back stronger. But at the end of the day, it will be my hands around your throat, and your blood on my hands.

Carter: I looove this guy, in a non homo way of course. Not that there is anything wrong with that.

Gaileo: Ryku O'Ryan. Ryku, Ryku, Ryku. Who calls their son Ryku? Who keeps this name, when they have achieved so much. And when I say that you have achieved so much, what I really mean is that your able to dress yourself in the morning. But after I get in the ring with you, that won't be true anymore. You were trained by the "HeartBreak Kid" Shawn Michaels? Well I have a message for you saying that when I humiliate you, well even Religious HBK wouldn't take you in after this. In fact he would Superkick your Ass. Now, you fancy yourself as a "hard man" which, I guess you are when your in the ring with Men. Let me give you a little Rap

Ryku O'Ryan from the Isle of Man
When I obliterate you, I may get a ban.
An orphan you grew up oh boo hoo I'm sad
When I kick your ass cool youngsters will think I'm incredibly Rad.
We Know about HBK you say it enough
You think your so good, well your not at all tough
When you stink the place up it's smells like bad gas
Well you won't be laughing soon when I kick your ass.


Faith: uhhh ok, Thank you and good luck Gaileo.

*Gaileo gets in Faiths face and just stares at her for a few seconds before Ryku grabs his arm and Faith stands on the other side of Ryku. Gaileo then gets in Ryku’s face for a few seconds, they exchange a few words, then Gaileo finally heads backstage, bumping O’Ryan’s shoulder on the way.

Carter: Dude, this guy can do it all. Wrestle, Rap. He is like a bad ass John Cena with actual wrestling talent.

Harry: Just what we need, another wrestler who thinks he can sing. And I like Cena.

Faith: * a little shaken- Ryku, What are your thoughts?

Ryku O’Ryan: Wow... that Galieo.. That was interesting for sure fella, but all I heard was you running your mouth, and that doesn't really impress me. It doesn't matter to me if I have to face you Gaileo, Mike Muir or Raiden Bain, I will win it all! I will beat anyone who stand in front of me and thats just how it is fella. I will Superkick or Pedigree each and very single one of you if I have to because that is how badly I want this! You got me fella?

Faith: Thank you and good luck tonight Ryku.

O’Ryan stares up Blain, who does not budge. Blain just has a look of determination on his face. O’Ryan finally walks backstage. Crowd is cheering for O’Ryan.

Carter: Not a man of many words but I love that ‘fella’ thing he does. Probably picks up a lot of bitches with that, I need to try that.

Harry: He doesn’t need a lot of words. The man’s action in the ring speaks for itself. He took Hanz Gruber to the limit on the Super Show.

Carter: Yeah but he lost. Gruber rules anyways.

Faith: * she slips off her shoes and stands on her tippy toes and holds to mic to Blain’s mouth- Ok, Blain, you have heard from all the other guys, what ar……

*Blain rips the mic from Faith’s hand and begins talking, Faith runs backstage. The crowd is already booing him.

Raden Blain: Ha! Ha! Ha! You all are nothing but parasites. It does not matter to me which of you I face because the end result will be the same. I shall win and be that much closer to my ultimate goal of removing a false god! You all will praise the dark prince and serve him for the remainder of your pathetic lives. You can run your mouths all you want it will have no effect on me. I shall win this and then the championship. Now let this commence!

*Blain then stares at the crowd for about a minute, the fans are still booing him. He then throws the mic down *BOOM and slowly walks to the back.

Carter: Dude, I love this guy too. And you heard him. Let it commence. He could have just said those three words and spread fear into the other three guys, all the other guys backstage, the fans and you Harry.

Harry: And what, he does not scare you?

Carter: Nah, I think he is awesome. His one match I have seen won me over. I got hard watching him and tonight will be no different. In fact I have a boner right now just from hearing him speak. Not many men can do that to me.

Harry: What?

Carter: Oh my God, did I say that out loud?

Harry: uh Yeah you did. Ok, now that we have heard from them all we will go to a commercial break. When we come back our first match tonight will be Mike Muir vs Gaileo with the winner going on to Untamed Khaos and hopefully being named the first champion of this brand. Our main event tonight will be between the other two semi-finalist- Blain and O’Ryan. And the lovely Barbie Panzer, manager of the Panzer Division on Fury, will join us on commentary.

Carter: How lucky are we? That bitch is smokin hot. Did you see what she did on Fury? That ass! The things I would love to do to it and eat off it.

01-28-2012, 01:28 AM

Get your EWA Ice Cream Bars at your local markets- they are made out of the finest Swiss and German chocolates and the richest vanilla known to man.

* Barbie Panzer is now at the announcer’s table sitting between Harry and Carter.

Harry: Ok we are back on PAIN! Joining us is Barbie Panzer, Welcome to PAIN. What brings you here?

Barbie: Thank you Harry. I am just here to scout some talent, as I would like to add to my clientele. Horus Black was nice enough to let me come on the show tonight. You guys are lucky to have him as a GM here on PAIN! Oh and hello Carter.

Carter: Well hello babe. After the show do you want to have sex?

Barbie: Do not ever make the mistake of calling me babe again and don’t even think of hitting on me again, you’re not my type. I like real men, and that you are not.

Carter: * sounding very pathetic- But, I, uh, I’m a sexy beast

Barbie: You’re a loser! Oh and Harry, you know what your last name means in German?

Harry: uh no.

*Barbie whispers ‘ass’ in his ear. Harry blushes

Carter: I want to know! I want to know!

Barbie: Oh shut up. Lets just see what these guys can do in the ring.

Harry: um, Ok lets get started with the action.

He’s Mississippi born and bred, and a win here tonight will put him one match away from becoming a World Champion (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AvTrOGSJlWY)

Harry: Here comes Mike Muir, one of our four semi finalists

Barbie: Good looking guy and very sweet to me backstage, I have been impressed with him over the last two weeks. I see big things for him in the future.

Carter: What, like your tits? Besides first to come out, first to be eliminated. I’m calling it now.

Harry: Well we’ll soon see. It’s certainly no easy task…

Here comes the insane one, Gaileo (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7u8gQMD2UGw)

Harry: … because this guy is certainly no pushover. Clinically insane, ultra-violent and at least two fries short of a happy meal yes, but a pushover, no way.

Carter: Two fries short of a happy meal? More like two fries, a burger and the toy short of a happy meal. I love McDonalds toys.

Barbie: Guys, always talking about two things, food and sports.

Carter: I talk about sex a lot too, like non stop.

Muir Vs Gaileo


*Stop at 7:20*

Carter: Gaileo kicks out! I knew he would.

Muir looks at the ref in disbelief, before going back to the corner and sizing up Gaileo in the corner

Harry: If he hits what I think he’s going for, it could well be over,

Carter: You actually just said nothing!

Gaileo makes his way back up, and Mike goes for a superkick, but Gaileo ducks and runs the ropes hitting a big knee on Muir as he turns around.

Harry: It could be over.

Carter: That fence comfy Harry?


Barbie: Come on Muir, kick out.


Muir kicks out!

Carter: Dammit Barbie.

Gaileo is going crazy at the ref. The ref makes the mistake of pushing the crazy mo’fo when he gets in his face, and is rewarded by a clubbing blow to the head knocking him out of the ring.

Harry: DQ him!

Carter: He can’t DQ him if he’s out.

Gaileo slides out of the ring and pulls a chair from under it.

Harry: A match of this importance shouldn’t end like this.

Carter: A job of this importance shouldn’t be given to the likes of you, but it does.

Gaileo gets back into the ring, and holds the chair above his head in anticipation to nail Muir.

Carter: This connects and it will be over.

However Ryku O’Ryan has paced it down the ramp and onto the apron and just as Gaileo’s backswing reaches its furthest, O’Ryan pulls it from his grasp.

Barbie: That Ryku is yummy. Mmmm.

Carter: What the fuck is he doing down here? He has absolutely nothing to do with this match.

Harry: He may be facing the winner.

Carter: Good point, well made fucknuts.

Gaileo is shouting and screaming at O’Ryan, but he just signals for him to turn around.

He does, straight into a superkick from Muir.

The ref is back in the ring.




Barbie: Yay for Muir! *she starts to jump up and down in her seat, Carter just stares at her chest.

Harry: Wow great match between these two, if not for O’Ryan, Muir would have been finished.

Carter: All of Muir’s victories have either been lucky or tainted. This guy stinks. He needs to go back to Mississippi and live out the rest of his life screwing his sister or his cousins. Fucking redneck inbreeds down there. He is….

*Barbie slaps Carter

Carter: OUCH!

Barbie: Jesus Christ, I thought the British were rude. It was a great back and forth match. Muir won, plain and simple. He has what it takes to make it here in EWA, as does Gaileo. So far Muir is probally the only undefeated guy in EWA- not too shabby.

Carter: Did you say shaggy? As in ‘to shag’? Isn’t that the the term they use here in England meaning to fu…..

*Barbie raises her hand to slap him again- Carter flinches

Harry: Ok you two settle down. Carter, stop being a dick. Lets send it to Faith whom is backstage with F.A.N.

01-28-2012, 01:46 AM
Faith: Thank you Harry. I am back here with F.A.N. which is made up of Taco and Paco of Fuegos Artificiales along with Harry Richards. Paco, you are facing Alpha tonight. Are you nervous?

Paco: No, in fact I are more than ready. Both me brother and me won our first match here in EWA on the New Years Supershow along with our friend here, Harry Richards. I think we are on a jellyroll. I are going at it alone tonight while Harry is taking on Silva- that weirdo guy. Seeing how good we all did in New York, We are sure to all win tonight. Harry has made us more gooder as wrestlers.

Taco: It’s I am, not I are and it’s on a roll and better as wrestlers.

Paco: Thats what I said. I know how to work against our Alpha though, I will do what we do best- which is to fly high and take them out when they least expect it.

Taco: Flying high is what we do best * Paco chuckles*

Paco: And why do you feel the need to correct me? Everybody knows what me sayses.

Taco: Says, not sayses. I just figured we would fit in better here if we learned to speak English better.

Paco: But me no like to speak always in English- its too hard to learning it.

Taco: To learn it.

Faith: Ok, whatever... Harry your opponent tonight is Silva. What is your game plan against him?

Harry: Well, as the saying goes, if it ain’t broke don’t change it. I’m going in with the exact same game plan as last time I faced Silva, it worked then didn’t it. I’m going to stick and move, and as Booker T would say, stay on my bicycle. I’ll be everywhere at once, hitting that psycho from every angle. He’s not going to know what has hit him.

Paco: Well isn’t that kinda obvious… you. Surely even he’s not that stupid.

Harry: *sighs* What did I do wrong to end up with you guys?

Taco: This is a sarcasm phrase si?

Harry: Less than you may think.

Paco: Well that’s all good then amigo. Let’s go!

*As F.A.N. leave, Faith just shakes her pretty head in disbelief.

Carter: A bunch of jobbers. They could no even lace my boots.

Harry: You are wearing dress shoes you idiot, why I don’t know as you are also wearing jeans and a t shirt.

Carter: uhh, I was in a rush.

Barbie: Richards seems like a sweet kid, but that’s all he is- a kid. He has not had a lot of luck in EWA as of late. Hopefully that will change soon. What he really needs to do is stop listening to Rob Rage. When he does that- the sky is the limit for him. My good friend Hanz is going to destroy that bastard Rage. As far as the Torres brothers, they are a joke. I couldn’t care less about any other tagteam except my brothers.

Carter: Nobody should have to listen to Rob Rage. Thank God we do not have to see his ugly mug here on PAIN! Richards must still be a virgin when it comes to females. Barbie, maybe you could help him out with that.

Barbie raises her hand to slap him again, Carter flinches again

Carter: And Rage is playing around with this kid Richards? Must be some kind of pedophile. And he is, what? 12?

Harry: I think he is around 16 or 17. He is impresssive in the ring even if his win-loss record does not show that. Rob Rage has taught him a lot and I think him hanging out with Taco and Paco will do wonders for his career. Well lets go to another commercial break. When we come back we will hear from Alpha and Destruction.


Watch our newest EWA interview show- Point of Convergence.

Faith walks into Alpha and Destructions locker room, where it looks like they are going over some kind of game plan. They don’t get up.

Faith: Ok, I am here with Alpha and Destruction, guys, um guys, can you please stand up as I need to interview the both of you. Please guys. Hello, I am up here. Guys? I am trying to do my job. Hello??

*Alpha and Destruction ignore her, so the cameraman kneels down to their level, while Faith gets on her knees.

Carter: Just how I like my bitches, down on their knees and ready to please.

Harry: That was uncalled for. Barbie you can hit him now- *which she does

Carter: Ouch! Shit, what did I do?

Faith: Ok guys, can you please tell me what you guys have to say about tonights match?

*Alpha and Destruction are in the Gorrila Position and finally decide to talk, they look directly into the camera now*

Alpha: Hello EWA, and welcome, to the Alpha House. You all saw what happened a the new years supershow, we pummeled F.A.N into the ground, we kicked them into next week. They only won with a roll-up. we dominated the opposition. Now listen to me F.A.N - today Destruction and I have got a match with Paco and Taco, both of whom may I say, sucks worst than the millionsoand millions of actual wrestlers. FAN when we're done with you, somebody better call ya mama

Carter: Love them.

Harry: Why do all the heel commentators say that, anyway I'll follow the pattern - Hate Them!

Carter: Asshole.

Harry: At least there is not a male reproductive organ in mine.

Carter: Yet your the one suffering from anal bleeding.

Harry: Stealing lines from Michael Cole - an all time low.

Carter: How could you not love Michael Cole donkey - ho ho Vintage Davis.

Barbie: Guys, shut the fuck up. And Harry, what has gotten into you?

Back on Topic (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F_6IjeprfEs)

Harry: Mexicans - how could you not fall in love with them?

Carter: Isn't it Mexicans who invented pin the tail on the donkey?

Harry: What does that have to do with anything?

Carter: I speak fluent German.

Harry: Ass.

Carter: No, that's you

Harry: I know you are but what am I?

Carter: A Child

Harry: I know you are but what am I?

Barbie: You both are acting like children, Harry, don’t let Carter rub off on you, you are better than that dammit.

01-28-2012, 01:58 AM
Funky Music For A Serious Tag Team (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZL2sljuDIbw&)

Carter: Scared of Destruction?

Harry: A Bit - The music doesn't make him scary at all though.

Carter: Well, they can tell that you’re not sexy - and you know it.

Harry: Cock.

Carter: Do you really want to start this argument again?

Harry: Let's just get on with the match.

Barbie: Its about time you guys stopped your shit. I was about to leave.

Carter: *starts to tear up. Please don’t.

​Alpha vs Paco

(Dolph/Alpha) (Kofi/Paco)


Carter: And Paco flies and misses.

Harry: However much I dislike Alpha Romao, smart move there.

*Alpha goes for the sharpshooter but Paco reverses into a small package*




Harry: Destruction pulled the referee out the ring.

Carter: Great Tactics

*Referee calls for the bell*

Carter: What the hell? he never handled a wrestler.

Harry: But he did to the referee.

Carter: So what, screw the referee.

Harry: That's not a very nice thing to say about a person of authority.

*Destruction clothesline the referee, then get's into the ring and throws Paco over the top rope*

Carter: Ouch, a bad landing.

Harry: Where's Taco when you need him?

Carter: I know right, I'm starving here.

Harry: Not the food you Wally, the wrestler Taco, Paco’s brother.

Carter: Speak Of the Devil.

*Taco comes out but walks straight into a FTW from Destruction, a BTH from Alpha, a Houston Hangover from Destruction, and finally a Alpha End All from Romao*

Harry: The man's tapping, let him go!

Carter: Make him suffer, make him suffer, we want blood!!!!

Harry: Yeah but not from Paco.

Carter: Pussy

*Alpha releases and they both walk to the back leaving Taco suffering in the ring

Barbie: Thanks a lot guys, I didn’t even get a word in. Sucks Paco got the win as I think both Torres brothers suck- as a team and solo.

Harry: Ok, while I admit it is fun watching the brothers get beat up, we need to move on. So lets send it back to Faith again. She is backstage with Silva who will be taking on Harry Richards in the next match of the night.

Faith: Silva, you are taking on Har….

*Silva puts his finger on Faith’s lips, shutting her up. She now just stands there with the mic to Silva’s mouth.

Every move you initiate
Is towards gaining you power.
It is the motto of your ego.
Fire spreads by eating the fuel.
Life stays by burning the food.
Ego stands by swaying others.
Where is fire if there is no fuel?
Where is life if there is no food?
Where is ego if there is no second person?

Ego keeps you and propels you.
Ego spares you and rescues you.
Its action is gaining power,
With which only it’s effective.
To beat or evade the rivals,
To snatch or catch for livelihood,
And to corner and keep sex mates,
The ego seeks to have power.
The ego keeps you viable
To fight to get or possess.

To get power is of instincts
That manifests in child’s action.
Playing toys, it manipulates them.
Fighting pears, it finds its strength.
Fighting foes, it asserts its right.
To imitate is to feel high.
To cry is to get back the lost.
To explore is to train its skill.
Loving mother is feeling safe.
Fearing is guarding the self.

Every act done, right or wrong,
Every skill learnt, good or bad,
Every show made, worth or worse,
Are all towards gaining a hold.,
However when you surrender to the might
Is to be a part of the might.
The poorest of the poor
And the richest of the rich
Would find their way to stand afloat.
To kill ego is to kill the self.

*Silva just walks away leaving Faith dumbfounded

Faith: * talking to the cameraman- What the fuck? Fucking weirdo.

01-28-2012, 02:02 AM
Harry: Faith, you are still live on camera.

Faith: My apologies.

Carter: Love it when the bitches talk dirty.

*Barbie smacks Carter in the face with her mic, giving him a nose bleed.

Harry: Dammit, you two need to calm down, Carter try being respectful for a change. Ok, lets get the match started

It’s the Concorde! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nq754H8BLVA&)

Carter: Spooky

Harry: Very true Carter, he makes my skin crawl. I don’t envy my namesake having to take him on

Carter: I wouldn’t envy Harry even if he wasn’t facing Silva, he’s a skinny British knob head

Harry: Don’t sugar coat it Carter, tells us what you really think

Carter: I did…

Harry: *sigh*

Harry has made his way out and is slapping hands with the fans. Suddenly, Silva runs down the ramp and knocks him down with a big boot to the back of the head

Carter: Yeah! Kill that skinny assed punk kid fool!

Harry: What the hell? I was really looking forward to that match, and it was one of the huge draws for the show and Silva ruins it.

Carter: You’re such a stuck up pussy ass dick!

Harry: You’ve really been thinking long and hard about these insults.

Carter: Lol

Harry: What?

Carter: You said long and hard.

Harry: *Facepalm*

Barbie: Assholes.

Silva hammers down on Richards with some clubbing forearms, before locking on his signature sleeper hold

Harry: Oh my God, Jesus Christ! Why does everybody around here seem to think that it’s okay to just go around here and lock on sleepers to their opponents?

Carter: Blasphemer! And maybe because they realise that our security team can’t undo a sleeper

Right on cue, the PAIN! security team runs down the ramp and starts attempting to pull Silva off of Richards

Carter: Well you just know this is going to take a while. So let’s take a commercial break

Barbie: Poor kid.

………………… €¦..COMMERCIAL BREAK………………

Watch EWA Carnage, Fury and PAIN!

01-29-2012, 02:19 PM
Harry: Ok we are back. Now for our main event of the evening. Raiden Blain versus Ryku O’Ryan.

And here comes the Fella (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vbwZNALLjgs)

*O’Ryan comes out to massive cheers, stops by to talk to a few fans, then enters the ring.

Barbie: That O’Ryan, he is from the Ilse of Man right? If all the men from there look like him, that’s where I have to take my vacation.

Harry: Well EWA does have a stop there within the next few weeks.

Carter: Ilse of Men? Almost sounds like a gay mans resort or something. LOL

Barbie: So you should love it then Carter.

Carter: Hell yeah, I’m gonna get me some ass there, oh wait, what did you say Barbie?

Barbie: I said you would like it there with all the hot women that live there.

Carter: Oh, yeah, hot ass, an island of men, here I come.

Barbie and Harry can barely contain their themselves.

*The arena goes dark- a dim light comes on around the stage area, followed by smoke…….

Awe, He a Big Scary Man (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gkhwK6Wlod8)

* The lights come back on and Raden Blain makes his way slowly to the ring accompanied by about ten hooded figures. Blain enters the ring while the ten men gather near the Spanish announcing table.

Barbie: He is a great wrestler, but damn he gives me the creeps.

Carter: He gives me a bo…

Harry: Don’t say what you are thinking Carter.

Carter: um, yeah, thanks Harry.

Barbie: I actually hope O’Ryan wins this one. O’Ryan versus Muir sounds like the perfect match. Two yummy guys going at it in the ring. Mmmm, I’m getting wet thinking about that. Mmmmmm. Is it hot in here?

Harry: I uh, I uh uh

As the match starts Carter starts singing very badly ‘When I think of you I touch myself, oh I touch myself, oh I’m touching myself, if I don’t get laid tonight I will touch myself, oh I don’t know the words to this song so I will just touch myself *he keeps singing this over and over- while Barbie and Harry are just ignoring him.

O’Ryan v Blain

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xer07_the-undertaker-vs-booker-t_news (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sIYsYFzcc9c)

*stop watching around 12:45, watch until double clothesline

Both men attempt a clothesline which knocks both men to the mat. Blain slowly gets up and is groggy. Carter is still singing.

Barbie: Ok Carter, enough is enough, you can stop singing now.

Carter: Ok, I had finished a few minutes ago anyways. Uhhhh, oh shit, I forgot we are live.

Barbie: Ewww, you weren’t…….

Harry: Have you no shame Carter?

O’Ryan crawls to the ropes and pulls himself up, then leans into the corner with his back towards the ringpost.

Blain, no longer groggy, rushes towards the corner where O’Ryan is, only to eat a Superkick.

The Superkick knocks Blain into the ref. Now both the ref and Blain are out.

Carter: COME ON BLAIN, get up!

O’Ryan checks on the ref- who is not moving. As he is doing that the ten hooded men surround the ring and get on the ring apron.

Barbie: This doesn’t look good.

Harry: This is no fair, why the hell are these guys even out here?

Carter: YES! Destroy Ryku.

Seeing this, O’Ryan readies himself for an attack. The hooded man directly in front of O’Ryan starts to enter the ring and Ryku starts to go after him. At the same time Gaileo rushes into the ring from behind Ryku with a chair in hand and wacks him in the head, knocking him out.

Harry: What is Gaileo doing out here? Guess his lost to Muir earlier didn’t set well with him. Kind of a little payback to O’Ryan for his interference earlier.

Carter: Ya think?

Gaileo then bails out the ring and walks backstage- laughing all the way. The hooded men jump down off the ring apron.

Blain finally sits up-, then stands up. He nudges the ref who is also coming to/ The ref finally gets to his feet.

Blain walks over to O’Ryan’s semi limp body, picks him up and slams him down. He then goes for the cover.



Carter: Come on fella, kickout ha ha.


O’Ryans raises his right shoulder of the mat, stopping the count.

Carter: Dammit, I was just kidding.

Barbie: Really thought Blain had the pin there, but O’Ryan still has some fight in him.

Blain is frustrated, arguing with the ref for about a minute until he sees O’Ryan trying to get on his feet. Blain rushes towards him, O’Ryan goes for the superkick again but Blain stops short of eating yet another superkick.

Harry: Holey moley guacamole, Ryku almost got him again.

Carter: Huh? Anyways Blain saw that superkick coming, he is not stupid.

Blain grabs O’Ryan by his hair, and lifts his fist back to hit him. O’Ryan, still a little groggy, knees Blain in his gut twice bringing him to his knees.

O’Ryan sets Blain up for the Pedigree but Blain easily gets free as O’Ryan is still a little groggy.

Harry: Ryku is a fighter, he could win this if if Blain makes a mistake.

Barbie: I hope so.

Carter: Why so you could go backstage and congradufuckhim?

Barbie: One more crack like that, and I will make sure you never leave Newcastle alive. I am sure I could sweet talk any of the guys in the back to take care of you, if not I could just call my brothers or Hanz.

O’Ryan and Blain are now trading punches.








Blain hits O’Ryan with a head butt- O’Ryan is dazed. Blain then whips O’Ryan into ropes, as he is boucing off Blain hits him with the Big Boot. O’Ryan goes down.

Carter: Yes, its over now.

Blain lifts O’Ryan up, then puts him in the Camel Cluth.

Harry: He could have gone for the pin but this is a smart move, O’Ryan looks too weak now to get out a submission hold. He was lucky before getting out of the pin.

Barbie: Come on Ryku, don’t give up.

Carter: I don't think he could get it up if he tried right now, he is in an awkward position.

Harry: What?

After about a minute in the Camel Clutch, O’Ryan can not take the pain anymore so he taps.

Carter: YEEEESSSSSSSSSS! * jumps up and starts a stupid little dance YESSSSSSSSSSS! YESSSSSSSS! I TOLD YOU! OH YESSSSSS! OHH YESSSSS! OH YEAH BABY! * he then thrust his pelvis back and forth YESSS! YEEESSSSS! OH YEAH!

Barbie: Ewww, please sit down Carter, you really are a buzz kill.

Carter jumps back into his seat, just smiling away.

01-29-2012, 02:20 PM
The ref raises Blain’s hand in victory- he is then joined in ring by the ten hooded men. The men surround O’Ryan, then pick him up. Blain walks over to him and it looks like he is going to hit him.

The crowd is booing very loudly now and are throwing stuff at the ring

Mike Muir runs out from backstage with a lead pipe in hand, jumps in the ring and starts swinging- everybody but O’Ryan and Muir bail out of the ring.

Carter: What the hell is this loser doing out here?

Barbie: What does it look like dumbass?

Harry: Thank God Muir came out when he did, as O’Ryan was in no shape to defend himself.

Muir helps O’Ryan to his feet and they stand back to back waiting to see if Blain and his men try to get back in the ring. After about a two minute stand off, Blain motions to his waiste that the belt will be his, then walks backstage with his men, fans throwing stuff at them the whole way.

Muir and O’Ryan exchange friendly words, shake hands and leave the ring to cheers.

Barbie: Yummy, double yummy. mmmmmm.

Carter: Well Blain is the winner! He will be the first PAIN! World champ, look who he has to take on, Mike Muir, that guy is a fucking joke. So is O’Ryan. Even without the interference Blain would have still won. I am so happy now. *Carter starts to cry

Barbie: They both impressed the hell out of me. Can’t wait to see the Muir and Blain matchup. Cute southern guy versus a monster. I think Muir can take him. I know he can.

Harry: I actually think Blain has the better chance- seeing that he has his guys out there to throw his opponents off guard.

Carter: *sniff, Wow, you actually agree with me Harry?

Harry: In this case, yes Carter. Well that’s all for tonight. We now know who will go on to Untold Khaos, Muir and Blain. The winner of that match will be our first PAIN! World Champion. So please join Carter and I next week for PAIN! And Barbie, thanks for joining us this week, it was a pleasure having you here. You are welcome here anytime.

Barbie: Thank you, and it was fun despite this dickhead *points to Carter.

Barbie gets up, gives Harry a quick peck on the on his lips. Carter closes his eyes and puckers up- Barbie punches him in the face, bloodying his nose yet again, then walks off.

PAIN! ends with the picture of Carter in true pain, holding his bloody nose and crying like a baby.

01-30-2012, 12:27 AM
I am stealing one filler. Rob or Destruction can have the last one.

01-30-2012, 12:30 AM
I am stealing one filler. Rob or Destruction can have the last one.


I'm stealing it! :P

My very first filler is why i'm stealing it.

02-07-2012, 03:22 PM
Carnage ep 2 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFnE2_DUhbs&ob=av2e)


HH: Hello everyone and welcome to Tramere, England for EWA Carnage episode 2. Howard Huggins here with Bobby Watson, and boy, did we promise you a great main event tonight

BW: That's right my overrated collegue, tonight, we will have a Tables Match between Johnny Hot and Daymein Bloodstone

HH: If Hot wins next week he get's Ryku O'Ryan, and if Bloodstone wins he get's Van Hooligan X.

BW: That's not all, we've been told we have a minimum of 2 new superstars debuting tonight, as well as we have a Triple Threat match between Zack Silver, Freddrick Detor and Laurent.

HH: Detors gonna die

BW: HEY! How dare you say that about an American hero.

HH: We're in England, my home country you douche

BW: Your British?

HH: Why don't you listen. I'M ENGLISH

BW: Fucking Retard

He looks familar (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XdSptXXvbwA)

*A cocky superstar stands at the top of the stage taking in the mixture of boo’s and cheers from the crowd, A small section of the crowd start to chant.. “HWA! HWA! HWA!” The man at the top of the stage can now be made out too be Carlos Alberto Ramon!, Ramon begins to swagger his way down to the ring with his trademark cocky grin!

HH: El Bandido!!

BW: For fuck's sake.

CAR: My name.. My name is Carlos Alberto Ramon, I am the face of Havoc and the bad guy around HWA El Bandido! But most of you already know that!

*Ramon winks and smiles at the crowd, Again a small section of the crowd begin to chant “El Bandido! El Bandido! El Bandido!”*

CAR.: The question is.. Why is Ramon here? For those of you who don’t know, I am a EWA original! I was here on the very first show… I was one of the names that made people want to watch this show! But quickly I began to realise that this place was a joke, it was run by management who had no idea what they were doing.. So El Bandido packed his bags and got the hell out of here! But why am I back now?. Money Chico’s! Im here for the fama e’ fortuna! This place has been doing pretty well for it’s self.. But let’s be honest without a top star.. Without a face for the company this place will never be recognised as a major company! And that’s why Im here.. EWA gave me a contract that I could not refuse, they begged me to come here.. They put me on a first class flight and that is why Im here in good old England!

*The whole of the crowd begin to cheer and a chant of “England!” breaks out around the arena!*

C.A.R.: But that’s when the fun stopped… Im here in England, and worst of all not even a city like London.. But a place called Tranmere! 24 hours ago, I was in a beautiful country called Portugal in my hometown of Lisbon and now this place.. I see a lot of you are wearing football shirts tonight, Well it just so happens I have a few football jokes for you tonight.. Are you ready?. What’s the difference between the England national team and a tea bag?. The tea bag stays in the cup longer! What do you call an Englishman in the last 16 of a world cup?. A referee!

*The crowd begin to boo loudly! Carlos is laughing at the crowd before his trademark grin can be seen again*

BW: True Dat

HH: Liverpool For the Win

BW: The beatles suck

*Howard slaps Bobby

BW: Ow! Stupid fucking son of a bitch, you burn in hell you dumb prickish bell-end

CAR: Enough of the jokes.. Enough of the messing around, Im here to wrestle then get the hell out of this shit hole! So Im laying down a challenge, who back there is brave enough to get in the face of the bad guy?. Who back there has the talent to go one on one with the future of wrestling?. Come on Bichano’s don’t be scared!

BW: I'd hate to be the man who faces him

HH: You mad... you wanna hug

BW: Are you bent?

HH: Well, I am sitting down, and my legs are bent

BW: You stupid son of a...

He looks just like someone I know (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qWP-z4O8Ddo)

BW: Who The Fuck is he

IH: I am Ivanho Heskey and i come to defend football in name of all the fans in the world

-crowd boos-

IH: Now i know i dissapointed you Trammere fans but we can still be friends right? I mean my career was a success and now i come to EWA to prove one thing i am better than Emile

-crowd cheers-

IH: WHAT Emile gets a pop and not me?

-crowd shouts YEAH-

IH: Well tonight i brought muffins and nobody can have any, and not even you Charles. Yo insulted football and now i mst fight you to a deatmatch like that one MTV show let s begin NOW Charles or are you afraid of me? Come on wannabe cristiano Ronaldo lets do it i was qalified as one of the worst players in the world you think you have a chance against me?

-Ivanho proceeds to do punch the air-

(Hart/Heskey - Ramon/Ramon)

(2:27 - 12:18)

HH: Ah, Heskey was close then

BW: Normally it's in Row Z, so it's an improvement

HH: I thought you didn't like football

BW: I love football, Tom Brady is awesome

HH: So is Suarez, there is no proof in the world he's racist

BW: Should we go back to the...

HH: *at same time as Bobby* match. Jinx, ha ha, you can't speak

BW: Cunt

*CAR clothesline Ivanho down before going to the top rope and he hits a double axe handle, and follows with a Latino Leg Lock to force the submission*

BW: Well done El Bandido

HH: Although it was a good performance, he could at least release the hold

*CAR drops to the floor with the Latino Leg Lock still in full force!*

BW: Painful

HH: Weird, that's what I used to say to my neighbour

BW: Ok then... El Bandido is really hurting Heskey, he looks like his leg might break - at least that would save him the embarrassment of missing the goal.

HH: That's low

BW: Which is the opposite of his shots

HH: Enough - will someone help us

BW: Just lock a sleeper on him - that will do the trick

He looked different last time I saw him (http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=b4P0o27Chcc)

HH: Jacob Cass is here - I can't believe it

BW: Hasn't he had his hair cut

HH: And dyed it

BW: And changed ring attire

HH: And gotten taller

BW: Anyway, let's get back on subject

HH: Don't talk about school, my teachers did some bad things

BW: Fine then... back to the brawl

HH: Cass is doing well

*They exchange European Uppercuts, before Cass gets the upperhand. He goes for the Finest Hour, but Ramon ducks and retreats up the ramp, as Cass and Heskey looks on*

02-07-2012, 03:44 PM
HH: El Bandido was running for his life then

BW: I would prefer the term "rethinking his tactics"

HH: Mind you I would prefer "running back to his mummy"

BW: Just leave it Jackass, let's move on to the next match

HH: Alrighty, then, now we have Laurent and Freddrick Detor taking place in a triple threat match, lets hear from them shall we, starting from Detor,

FD: Carnage, last week I kicked ass. Tonight, I take down that no good bitch Laurent. Now you know that last week, I picked up the fall. This week, I plan to do the same. I will pin Laurent 1-2-3 - or maybe even maybe make Zack Silver - The Silverfly - The gimmick stealer tap out. No matter what, I will be the last man standing, and I will point to the sky, and shout OOOOOOHHHHHHHHH YYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHH

And here he is (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jAYPN-1Yjt0)

HH: What a douche

BW: How dare you say that to someone who stands up for your human rights

HH: There's only 1 person who I deeply respect in EWA and that is the man writing this show

BW: Cheap plug

The French gold medalist (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=koJlIGDImiU&ob=av2n)

BW: And here comes the Frenchman, pro wrestling's 2nd Olympic Gold Medalist and let's face it, a bit of a wanker

HH: Ha Ha, you said cum, and you said wanker

BW: Enough, enough, we've just heard that Laurent has lost his voice, so unfortunately he cannot speak, although at least we don't have to hear that horrible accent

HH: Me sucer la bite, et tandis que vous y êtes sperme dans mon cul

BW: Umm, what

Here Comes The Silverfly (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LOESyEljmFE)

BW: Currently undefeated, The - as Detor wonderfully put it - The Gimmick Stealer Zack Silver is a good wrestler, but will only be as successful as the Brooklyn Brawler


BW: No

HH: Shad?

BW: No

HH: Who then?

BW: This could take a while

HH: Well, we do have all night,

BW: Fuck it, let's just hear from Silver

ZS: Hey there fellas! Wow, this crowd is radical! I'm gonna keep this short, because I let my ring work do my talking! Detor, Laurent, prepare to be destroyed, because when I get in the ring, I'm the only one who leaves! Prepare to be destroyed by my meteor strike!

(Booker/Silver - Laurent/Styles - Detor/Cage)


(Ignore post match and pre match)

HH: And Silver fly picks up a great win there

BW: Detor fought well - Laurent - not so much, but in the end it was a good match

HH: And a clean win, you know how rare they are nowadays

BW: Yes, but a win's a win - just ask the majority of people in EWA

HH: True - some people will cheat to win, and although it's not morally right, some people will do it anyway

BW: And our next match makes it a lot harder to cheat to win

HH: That's right, it's our tables match main event, between Johnny Hot and Daymein Bloodstone - with a huge stipulation with it

BW: Correct again, wow you're on a roll. Let's get both people out here for the match - beginning with Hot

02-07-2012, 04:23 PM
It's getting Hot in here (somebody call my momma yeah, somebody cal... sorry - gone off topic)
BW: Great, now he comes the person everyone here came to see - Johnny Hot

HH: That's not true - I am sure the majority came to see the good guys

BW: Well, then we have stupid fans

HH: Could you get anymore disrespectful

BW: Yeah, I could, but I would get fired for it

HH: Let's hear from Hot

JH: Last week the best wrestler in the world made his debut on Carnage. That's right, Johnny Hot has come to EWA!

*Crowd Boos*

JH: After last week everyone was talking about me- my unlimited charisma, my amazing in-ring talent, my beautiful face, and everything else! But last week didn't quite go as planned. You see, I faced that overrated midget, Daymian Bloodstone...

*Fans Chant "Daymian! Daymian!"*

JH: So you people have me, walking greatness, standing in front of you, but instead you cheer a man that can't even win a match fairly? You people really are as mind numbingly stupid as I thought! Last week I absolutely dominated Bloodstone, so instead of fighting like a real man he took the easy way out with a quick roll up. Well now Daymian you've proven nothing. You got a fluke win over me because you were sneaky- well this week that can't happen, because we're in a tables match! No flukes this week, just the best wrestler in the crushing a boy who isn't even worthy to lace up my boots!

*Crowd Starts Booing Louder*

JH: Next week Van is going to be thanking me because I gave him the night off, while I go out there and defeat Ryku O'Ryan. Next week when O'Ryan is laying there and looking up at the lights and I'm getting my hand raised, all of you twits will finally realize you're booing the wrong man, because I'm the one who night after night steals the show!

*Crowd Is Deafening*

JH: Tonight I will prove to all of you Bloodstone fans that I am not the future of professional wrestling, I am the NOW of professional wrestling, and Bloodstone is just another victim. I'll see ya next week O'Ryan.

*Hot drops the mic and smirks*

BW: Legend - If there was a film called I am Legend - he would playing the lead

HH: There is - and the lead is played by Will Smith

BW: Oh, well then he would've been better

HH: Nice save

BW: Thanks, you made it a lot harder

HH: That's what she said

This man's name is what the crowd will say (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IXIKDfEGiJo)

HH: This man - is the true meaning of legend

BW: Not true - whenever you find Blood on a Stone - you can tell it's caused by Hotness

HH: Whatever

BW: I got you good - didn't I?

HH: Whatever - let's just hear from Daymein

DB: Last time i was out here i faced a man named Johnny Hot. I said that i had nothing against him. Well i can't say that this week. You attacked me backstage and lowblowed me! Tonight i get payback and if i win i get to face Van Hooligan X. That's nice but to be honest i don't care about that match. Tonight my mind is focused solely on you. I plan on making sure that you never wrestle again. The business would be better off. So tonight i don't plan on just winning my match, i plan to break as many of your bones as i possibly can!

BW: Good man, let start things off

02-07-2012, 04:35 PM
They lock up, with Bloodstone gaining the advantage, placing Hot in a side headlock before rebounding of the ropes. Hot ducks 1 run, then leapfrogs another, before Bloodstone sidesteps him, rebounding into the ropes again, before being arm dragged by Hot. Hot places him in an armbar but Bloodstone quickly get's up and breaks the hold. They lock up again, this time Hot getting the headlock, but Bloodstone quickly takes him down with a side headlock take down. He goes for a submission hold but Hot recovers. They both are up with Hot twisting Bloodstones arm above his head, and forces him to the ground. Bloodstone kips up and goes for a roundhouse kick, but Hot see's this coming and flees to the outside.

BW: Good Technical match so far, with Bloodstone just getting the advantage

HH: This is just a preview of things to come tonight, as we will find out

Bloodstone follows and slams his head into the guard rail. He grabs a fans beer and throws it in Hot's face, before going under the ring and finds a chair. He trys to smash it over his head, but Hot dropkicks Bloodstone, and he lands against the apron. Hot ties his arms in the ropes, before giving shots to his stomach. He goes to get the chair but eats a Van Daminator to the face.

HH: Ooh, Van Daminator to the face - that must hurt

BW: I've been on the receiving end of one of those and trust me - it doesn't tickle

Daymein chucks him in the ring and he follows suiy, stomping on him. Bloodstone lands a knee drop, before going to the second rope, by this time Hot get's to his feet, but he gets a missile dropkick for his troubles. Bloodstone picks up a leg, but Hot low blows him with the other leg. Hot goes to Howard's guitar

HH: Oi, I need that for my post match singalong

BW: I swear you have something wrong with you

But Bloodstone goes for a suicide dive. Hot sees him coming and smashes the guitar over his head, causing Bloodstone to be busted open

Hot clears the monitors from the announce table, and places Bloodstone on it. Hot goes to the top but Bloodstone soon follows with a frankensteiner. However, Bloodstone over hits it and Hot goes over the commentators and into Bobby and Howard. They are all groggy, while Bloodstones play poetry in motion with the table and knocks down all of them.

BW: What the fuck are you doing you selfish prick - we are getting paid to get fucking hurt.

Bloodstone get's a table and sets one up next to ringside. He sets another one on top, while sliding one into the ring.

Hot slowly get's to his feet, and get's in the ring. Bloodstone knocks him down on the mat with a drop toe hold, and turns him over before going to the top rope. He goes for a double moonsault, but Hot get's knees up, and Bloodstones hurt. They both get up, and Hot DDT's him, and goes outside to get another table. He brings it into the ring, and set's it up on the corner. Hot calls for the styles clash, but Bloodstone collapses to the ground, and Hot calls out someone

And that someone is Van Hooligan X - who comes out and attacks Bloodstone. They try for a double suplex through the table, however Ryku O'Ryan comes out and stops this from happening. He clothesline Hot outside the ring, and starts trading blows with Van. Ryku eventually get's the upper hand, and goes for the superkick, when Van counters and clotheslines him to the ground, however, Bloodstone comes out of no-where and spears Van through the table in the corner, and all 4 people are lying collapsed.

HH: What a match we have here

BW: Come on Hot - we love you

HH: And you called me bent

Hot get's up in the ring, as does Ryku O'Ryan. O'Ryan goes for a superkick, but Hot catches the kick and spins him around. He kicks him in the place where you don't want to be kicked, and follows up with a styles clash through the table.

Hot get's up and spots the two table set up outside the ring. He stands Bloodstone up and goes to throw him over the top rope, but Bloodstone counters and throws Hot over the top rope. Bloodstone trys to take him off the apron, but Hot isn't giving up easily. Hot kicks Bloodstone's leg, which causes him to fall to one knee. Hot stands him up, AND SUPLEXS HIM OVER THE TOP ROPE THROUGH TWO TABLES for the win. Hot stands tall to end the show

02-07-2012, 04:36 PM
Filler /

02-07-2012, 04:37 PM
I better be getting paid extra for this

02-07-2012, 04:38 PM
Get ready for Point of Convergence with a Mr Van Hooligan X

02-07-2012, 04:38 PM
And Fury and Pain

02-07-2012, 04:39 PM
We should do this again some time

02-07-2012, 04:40 PM

I am now a Super Member :D:cool:;)

And I got it by posting a filler

Fillers rule

02-08-2012, 08:08 AM
Episode 2

Theme Song:
Right Here, Right Now - FatBoy Silm


Hello and welcome to the second episode of P.O.C!

We would once again like to thank Shining Light for being in the pilot as he is 1 of JBWs current big stars!
Hopefully this weeks episode is just as good for your viewing pleasure.

So I hear you guys saying “Donnie”...Oh that's is me by the way...Anyway “Donnie, how're you going to try and top Shining Light?!”

Well how about the person who beat him in his EWA debut?

Please welcome our current EWA World Heavyweight Champion, Alex Kidd!

Why the fuck am I here this show sucks more than Jimmy Kimmel.

Is that the ginger guy with the lever? I don't watch interview shows,they're a tad bori—err! So you have managed to hold onto the title for this long, can you see yourself beating Rob Rage at Untamed Khaos?

Look, I have never stopped being confident and I will never stop being confident, Rob Rage is one of those people who simply cannot defeat the young up and comer Alex Kidd, I don´t know how many times I have beaten the guy I´m probably 10-0 vs Rob Rage now, so the answer is yes.

02-08-2012, 08:13 AM
I see. So what do you think about your opponent, England's own RobRage?

I hate the english they think they are the fanciest people in the world but they aren´t they are just stck up little brats who let thier own children play videogames 24/7 , I hate that they call soccer football I mean come on we can kick the ball too in punts field goals and kick returns.

You post on your Twitter a lot about Chivas FC. I'm guessing you're a fan, happy with how're going for them?

For fucks sake pay attention we haven´t won a single game!

True, but you can still find a lot of positives from a bad season. Speaking of Twitter, don't suppose you'll follow me on Twitter will you?! Oh and just so you know, for some reason you haven't accepted my friend request on Facebook either.

I don´t give a shit about people from EWA I will never be your friend

Donnie lets a single tear fall down his cheek whilst majorly frowning but before anyone apart from the douche writer can notice, he keeps a big sniff to stop the waterworks.

Well could you give us a little bio of where you're from and how you got here today?
The EWA audience would like to know more about what made you who you are.

You should know where I´m from and what I came here to do if not well then you need to see a doctor about your attention span

You're from the land of Mexico, so I was wondering, what's your favourite Mexican dish?

What the fuck do you care are you writing my biography?

Err...nope. Although I could if you paid me!

I helped do Iron Shieks Biography...He really does say humble and FACK a lot!

02-08-2012, 08:42 AM
Anyway, Could you Name your fav 5 wrestlers currently in all of EFedding.

Alex kidd
That Cj guy
Ivanho Heskey
Carlos Ramon
Van Hooligan X

Decent list, I think you meant to say DJ instead of CJ right?

Donnie gives a wink at Alex and he laughs, sadly Alex doesn't look impressed and the awkwardness level are stupid

Um...Well how about you tell us whatyour finishers name and what is it?

I call it the king splash it is basically the 360 splash but for me it´s a 720 splash

I once did that move...Well it wasn't in the ring, it was a bedroom andmy opponent was a pillow. Dad wasn't happy when I broke Cjs bed. CJ didn't mind though cause he then got to sleep with our mother..

Alex starts face palming and begins to rubs his eyes, after accidently picturing what young CJ was like. Luckily i'll spare you the details

Yeah I have a question for Alex.

Well go on a head then, friend.

Hurry this up, I'm drowning in stupid here.

Alex stops rubbing his eyes and has a surprised expression on his face after realising who it is

Thanks Don, my question is this: Think you can handle Rob Rage at Untamed Khaos?!

Rob Rage then hits him as hard as he can, causing Alex's chair to flip over with him still still sitting. Alex then does a back roll and hastily charges at Rob. Rob seems to be 1 step ahead of Alex and moves out ofthe way and Donnie takes a full forced clothesline after standing up and hiding behind Rob and is knocked out.

Rob tries to check on him but Alex starts punching him and they exchange lefts and rights. Eventually Rob gets the advantage and tries to gofor a stronger but slowly punch, but Kidd reads it and ducks under his and arm then kicks him in the stomach and then Alex Kidd puts Rob Rage into the powerbomb the coffee table like this.


Alex kneels down to where Rob is laying motionlessly. To answer your question, Rob. Yes. Yes I do! Alex then smiles and walks away and the EWA logo pops up to end the second episode.

02-08-2012, 08:56 AM
First fille--Okay i'm changing these shitty filling BS posts.

Since HWA have the power 5 thing to take up a few fillers. I am going to do something with my crappy fillers.

Basically send me a promo or speech in character and I will post it. In other words, a whole post dedicated to whatever you write.

It can be about promoting a feud you're in, having your character brag how good he is or whatever you want.

Basically gives you guys more chance to stand out. Can be as long as you want and about whatever.

This is also optional, so you don't have to do it. But it will help your character stand out more. The Fury and Pain roster are quite big now, so this could really help you stand out peeps!

(I post this here because people will see this longer then if it is in the Discussion Thread.)

02-08-2012, 09:50 AM
Van Hooligan X:

So it seems I get the honour to show you losers how this promo or speech works. How thick do you have to be to not understand you get this post instead of a filler to write whatever you want. It is a shame that I take up someones spot because I'm already THE heel on EWA.

I don't need to get over cause once I've gotten rid of the vermin that is Broc. I plan on holding my Alpha Revolution Global Championship and the EWA World Championship title as well. To become the first double World Champion in Efedding!

No-one on either roster can hold a candle towards my ability and I am currently proving this on HWA. I don't even have to remind you I've only been a pro wrestler for 3 months!

At Untamed Khaos. Broc gets a reality check that will show how good I really am!

02-08-2012, 11:40 AM
Mike Muir:

Hello, I am Mike Muir. I started wrestling for EWA about a month ago and its been great so far. I have got to meet a lot of really cool people on the roster and have also met a lot of cool fans all over the world.

I am in the finals for the EWA PAIN! World Heavyweight Championship at Untamed Khaos against the monster Raden Blain and I intend to be the victor. I will bring the belt back to my brand and fight with honour. So far, Blain and I are the only two EWA stars that I know of that are undefeated- and well I intend to break his streak at the PPV.

Oh and I hope you guys enjoy this weeks PAIN! when it airs. I sure enjoyed it!

02-08-2012, 12:14 PM
Current card for Untamed Khaos

- Rob Rage vs. Alex Kidd (c) for the Fury World Heavyweight Championship
- Mike Muir vs. Raden Blain to crown the inaugral PAIN! World Heavyweight champion
- The Turnes vs. Two of a Kind (c) for the Fury World Tag Team Championships
- Il Cativo vs. The Panzer Division in a ??? match for the number one contendership to the tag titles

02-12-2012, 09:49 PM
Since Fury and PAIN are not airing this week(Robaried is on a week vacation)- There will be a recap/road the Untamed Khaos show, in addition to Carnage and Point of Convergence. Also look out for one special show from EWA very own CJ- that will be airing in the next week.

02-13-2012, 02:09 PM
rightttt a filler

02-13-2012, 02:11 PM
Ok, I am gonna post Road to Untamed Khaos next- its a recap of EWA from the beginng to now

02-13-2012, 02:15 PM

Barbie Panzer: Hello, I would like to welcome you all to a special show called “The Road to Untamed Khaos” My name is Barbie Panzer, I will take a look back at the start of EWA, and its expansion to three different wrestling shows- Fury, PAIN! and Carnage. In addition to those brands we also have a talkshow- Point of Convergence. In addition to this- we will also hear from three newly signed wrestlers to our company. I truly hope you enjoy.

Barbie: Fury is where EWA’s birth began. On the very first show- A tournament was held to name our inaugural EWA World Heavyweight Champion. It came down to a triple threat match- Alex Kidd, Ryan Wells and that bloody Brit- Rob Rage. The winner was Alex Kidd. The title was soon renamed the Fury World Heavyweight Champion. Alex Kidd has held the belt ever since.

Barbie: On the following Fury, a Royal Rumble type match was held to name Fury’s TV Champion- the man who came out on top was Jack Phenix who has held that title ever since- though he has had some tough matches ever since. We were also introduced to manager Gerald Croft that night- he tried to sigh Rob Rage, but Rob was too stupid. With Croft, Rob may have already been World Champ. Oh well. We also saw some tagteam action that night. My brothers Karl and Oli made their debut that night. My good friend Hanz Gruber also took on Michael the Archangel in a number one contenders match for the World title- sadly, Michael won.

Barbie: On the very next Fury, well I finally got to see that one live. I sat in the crowd and got to see one yummy guy go after Alex Kidd- his name is Ryku O’Ryan. He did not win the match- but he still impressed me. That night, we also saw the start of the tagteam tournament to name our first World Tagteam Championship. We also saw the starting of Hanz’s feud with Rob Rage- only Rob did not know it at the time. Hanz had made a deal with Gerald Croft to screw Rob over.

Barbie: The next show- the biggest news for EWA to that date- new owner, new GM. We also heard from that crazy guy Killa- not to mention announcer Rich’s man crush on him, heard from the sweetie Brandon Meseiros , heard from a man who I consider a good friend- Van Holligan. Killa wrecked havoc that night, G Scorp made waves, Oh and my friend Hanz finally showed Rob how he really felt about him- Hanz left Rob in a bloody mess- it was beautiful. We will now go to a commercial break.


Barbie: Ok, welcome back to the show. Our very first PPV- Bloodbath came next- Saw some talent I had not seen before- like H.O.S., and a few other guys who went on to be on our second brand PAIN!- which was announced that night. The announcement of our second show was huge as an influx of talent had just been signed. We also saw the debut of Broc. Tag team champs were named- Two of a Kind and Rob Rage won against my friend Hanz- of course it was a fast count. With that tainted win, Rob Rage became the new number one contender to the title- Michael the Archangel had his chance earlier and lost- mainly because he is a loser- duh!

Barbie: Next up was another episode of Fury- Michael the Archangel cried about losing his number one contendershop, Rob came out and said he would give him a shot when he won the belt- like that will happen- then my friends Van and Hanz came out to speak the truth. We also found out that night, Rage and Michael share a love of boybands- so cute- they seem to make a lovely couple. I wish them well. Ha ha. We saw Two of a Kind, G Scorp, Douglas Blake, Killa, Brandon, Jack and many more in action. In the main event Rage and Michael took on Hanz and Vans- of course a fast count had Rage winning yet again.

Barbie: Next up was the very first episode of PAIN! A tournament started that night- the men that won that night- Ryku O’Ryan, Gaileo, Raden Blain and Mike Muir moved on to the semi finals the next week. Also saw those Torres brothers in action- well let me rephrase that- in their singles matches- they got beat up pretty bad, they are losers…Ha ha

Barbie: Next was our New Years Supershow- talent from both shows were pitted against each other in most matches.. Two big things happened- PAIN! GM made his presence known and I made my debut in EWA- managing my brothers. There were some debuts and other matches- but me coming here stole the show- well that and JBW star Shining Light making an appearance. Oh and our Pervie GM on Fury was arrested. Did you know he wrote a book on masturbating? And that he collects dirty pants?

Barbie: After that- we had yet another big announcement- another new show- Carnage. More debuts to EWA on that show Daymian Bloodstone and Johnny Hot were by far the biggest debuts on that how as they have made their names in other feds. Zack Silver, Northern Agression, Laurent, and Detor all had pretty good showings too. The Torres brothers, sucked of course- they have a stupid team name that I can not pronouce.

Barbie: This was followed by another episode of Fury- Horus took over that night- probally just for a short time. Rage pissed him off, so Horus made him take on Hanz in the main event- of course you know another fast count. Hmm lets see what else happened…oh yeah, I showed off my flawless ass to the crowd. It was the highest rated segment of the show. My brothers were also in action that night and one of those idiots in Il Cativo actually hurt me, making me hit my face on the ring apron. My brothers will destroy them. Oh yeah, Brandon also worked up the nerve to ask Furys interviewer Ashley, which I thought was cute. Before he could finish asking, Killa attacked him. They look like they would be a cute couple- Brandon and Ashley that is- I hope they hook up. Ok, I forgot what else happened on that show.

02-13-2012, 02:19 PM
Barbie: We then debuted yet another show- this one being Point of Convergence. The host of that show- CJ’s brother DJ- one its first episode we got to know Shining Light-, interesting guy- and cute robe. I want one to walk around my house in. I wonder if they have them in pink. I used to walk around naked in my house all the time but since coming to EWA and making one appearance on HWAs Redemption, where I raised ratings and heartbeats, people have been camping out in front of my house- just hoping to get a glance of moi. I had to hire security. Bummer. I need to move. Or find a guy to move in with me. Ok time for another commercial break.


Barbie: OK, we are back again, lets continue. Following Point of Convergence, another episode of PAIN aired- Lots of action, we saw who were going on to Untamed Khaos for a chance at becoming the first PAIN! World Champion- the impressive, huge, Raden Blain, or that very cute and sweet southern guy, Mike Muir. I hope Muir wins, he would look even cuter with a belt around his waist. Oh and I sat in on announcing that night. It was fun, but that Carter Davis is a dickhead. I broke a nail because I had to hit him so much. He is a sick fucking bastard. I hate him.

Barbie: Next we had another edition of Carnage- Carlos Alberto Ramon came back to the company- and has already started making an impact. Heskey, Cass also made debuts, both looking good in them. And of course the Carnage regulars were in action- all doing great.

Barbie: After that- another Point of Convergence- this time the guest was our Fury World Champ- Alex Kidd- Rob Rage showed up, and got his ass kicked- as he should. Kicked his ass so bad he had to take a week off.

Barbie: And that catches us up to the present. We will have another episode of Carnage this week, with another Point of Convergence. Fury and PAIN! have been pushed back a week- so no show until maybe next weekend. Our next PPV will be in about two and a half weeks or so. Two more Furys, Two more PAINs and Three more Carnages before then. So far the lineup for the PPV is:

Rob Rage vs. Alex Kidd (c) for the Fury World Heavyweight Championship
- Mike Muir vs. Raden Blain to crown the inaugral PAIN! World Heavyweight champion
- The Turnes vs. Two of a Kind (c) for the Fury World Tag Team Championships
- Il Cativo vs. The Panzer Division in a ??? match for the number one contendership to the tag titles

Barbie: Rest assure, there will be more matches added as I know quite a few other matches have been planned. OK, since I have finished the review I would now like to answer some questions sent to me via Twitter, Facebook and our EWA website. Lets have a look at them on this monitor, um dude- talking to some nerdy kid operating the computer, make the thingy work- and stop staring at my breast

Question 1 pops on the screen

Barbie will you marry me? from barney fife

Barbie: um no

Question number two pops on the screen.

Barbie, you wanna have sex? From C Davis

Barbie: Hell no, hey is this C Davis as in Carter Davis, PAIN! announcer? Bastard

Question number three pops up on the screen

Can you not wear a thong next time you flash your ass to the crown on live TV? From sully buddy

Barbie: Ok, I am getting tired of answering these talking to the computer operator, can you please find me some better questions?

Computer operator: Sure thing sweet cheeks

Barbie: What the hell did you say?

Computer operator: Sorry, yess mamm

Next question pops up on the screen

Do you have a top ten list of wrestlers in EWA? From jeffie dahmer

Barbie: Finally, a real question. Lets see Hanz and Vans would be number 1 and 2. Number 3 would be Raden Blain, mainly because he scares the shit out of me, and is undefeated. Number 4 Alex Kidd, because he is our Fury World Champ. Number 5- Mike Muir- also undefeated thus far, and ya know, he is a hottie. Number 6 Ryku O’Ryan- pretty much the same reason as Muir- except O’Ryan has been beat. Number 7- Michael the Archangel- yeah, he is a sore loser, but a pretty good wrestler, I think his brothers would be proud of him. Number 8- probably a tossup between Johnny Hot and Carlos Alberto Ramon- two recent additions to Carnage, making names for themselves real quick. Number 9- hmmm, maybe Daymian Bloodstone- another recent new comer. And number 10- well I will just say the rest of the roster is pretty great too- so anyone holding a title would be my number 10- I guess Jack would be the guy. As far as tag teams- The Panzer Division is my pick for number 1- everybody else falls behind them.

02-13-2012, 02:25 PM
Next question pops up on the screen

So, like if you could bang anyone on the roster, who would it be? From suzy q

Barbie: Well lets see, I am not gonna answer that!

Next question pops up

What do you look for in a man? from jared

Barbie: Deep down, I just want a guy that likes me for me- not my looks. Sadly that’s what most guys focus on- well because I am hot. Don’t blame me for that, its in my genes.

Next question pops up

Are you going to ever answer my calls? from Hugh Hefner

Barbie: I told you no, I will never pose for your Playboy or Hustler- whichever one you do.

Next question pops up

Everytime I see you on TV, I have to run off and um, knock one off. Is that a bad thing? from Andy

Barbie: Er, don’t know how to answer that you sick bastard.

Next question pops up

Can I have you’re phone number and address? from Andy

Barbie: How did this loser get two questions? Oh and hell no

Next question pops up

Are you a whore or a slut? And what is the difference? Do you like it anal? From Stu

Barbie: Fuck off

Next question pops up

Are you a whore like everybody says. If so, we are having a bachelor party for my bud next week and we need to hire a stripper and a whore. You seem like the perfect person for it. Are you interested? If so I will pay you $60000. from charlie sheen

Barbie: My god, why does everybody keep calling a whore- that’s it, no more fucking questions. As to that last question- no way in hell. Barbie starts crying- ok, last commercial break, still crying, when we come back we will hear from some new signies.


Barbie: Ok, we are back again with 3 of the newest talent to sign with EWA- they will all soon be debuting within the next few weeks. I took it upon myself to invite them on this special show- so the EWA fans can get to know them a little. Their names are Smoggie, Mike Hawk and Noah Phillips.

Barbie: I would first like to bring out Smoggie. Is that right talking to a camera man, Smoggie?

Camera man: Yes

Barbie: Ok, very well, send him in.

A cloud of smoke fills the room, a shadow appears faintly, then gets right into the cameras lens saying “Hi!”

Barbie: Can someone please turn on a fan? which someone does and it slowly makes all the smoke go away.

Barbie: Ok, I heard somebody say hi, but where did he go? Was that Smoggie?

The producer: Yeah, I believe so. He was just in the back- not sure where he went. I will send Hawk out next

Barbie: Ok. That was kinda cool.

Mike Hawk walks in the room and takes a seat

Barbie: I would like to welcome you to EWA, one of the fastest growing feds in wrestling. What brought you here Mike and what are your goals?

Hawk: I am here because I am sick. I am sick of indie leauges. I am sick of competing with guys who have as much talent as my pinky finger. I came to EWA to show everyone I can dominate no matter where I go. My goals are simple: they are to create as much mayhem as possible, and what better way to do that then to capture a title so early in my run and prove my skills to each and every one of the fans. By the end of the day, the only thing anybody backstage will remember is pure and utter mayhem.

Barbie: Well I think you came to the right place as I think you will be a perfect fit here. I wish you all the luck in the world here.

Barbie shakes his hand and Hawk leaves the room.

02-13-2012, 02:29 PM
Barbie: Alright, next we have a guy by the name of Noah Phillips

Before Noah enters the room, someone drops a glass in the next room and it shattered all over the floor. Noah then takes a seat.

Barbie: I hope somebody cleans that up. Anyways Noah, I would like to welcome you to EWA, one of the fastest growing feds in wrestling. What brought you here and what are your goals?

Noah: Well ya see, Barbie, I came here for a couple simple reasons, What?!

Barbie: What?

Noah: What?!

Barbie: What?

Noah: What?! First and foremost I came here to raise some hell! The Texas Rattlesnake has been away from the ring for far too long and my cans of Whoop Ass have been going flat.

Barbie: But you're not..

Noah: What?! Interupt me again and i'll stomp a mud hole in Ken and walk it dry! Stone Cold has been dying to haul his ass back into the ring, to teach these piss ant sons of bitches what a real damn wrestler is.

Barbie: Noah..

Noah: Stone Cold..

Barbie: Alright.. Stone Cold..

Noah: What!? All you need to know Barbie is that Stone Cold is here to get drunk and kick each and every one of these sorry sons of bitches ass around the ring every damn night!

Barbie: I.. see..

Noah: Now Stone Cold has one last thing to say to you Barbie.

Barbie: What's that?

Noah: Would you like a beer, for being a good sport?

Barbie: I.. don't drink that kinda..I like German beer better

Noah: I ain't askin'...

Barbie takes the can and opens it, turns out it's been shaken as it sprays all over her face and shirt

Noah: DTA! Don't trust anyone Barbie! And that's the bottom line, cos Stone Cold says so!

Noah walks offs as Barbie attempts to wipe the beer away from her eyes. Her shirt is drenched and since she is wearing a white shirt and no bra, you can see her perfect breast. The cameraman takes out his phone and snaps a picture and immediately sends it off to all his friends

Barbie: Dammit, why the hell did I volunteer for this? Barbie walks off in tears

02-13-2012, 09:44 PM
filler to bump this up

02-14-2012, 11:53 AM

and yep, another filler I just stole

02-14-2012, 01:58 PM

You humans has no chance. If no-one can stop this me on my own, then who can stop 1004 aliens - 1 for each Y2J hold. When I hit the Samoan Drop on you, it's like falling from space. The pumphandle position is the position you don't want to be in with Aliens around. We are going to punish you all. Your fate is in my hands. And if anyone tries to stop us, we will shove your own finger where the sun don't shine and the moon don't glow

02-14-2012, 06:12 PM

You humans has no chance. If no-one can stop this me on my own, then who can stop 1004 aliens - 1 for each Y2J hold. When I hit the Samoan Drop on you, it's like falling from space. The pumphandle position is the position you don't want to be in with Aliens around. We are going to punish you all. Your fate is in my hands. And if anyone tries to stop us, we will shove your own finger where the sun don't shine and the moon don't glow

Dat promo!

See how they can build your character up!

Send 1 in today peeps! :)

02-14-2012, 06:31 PM
Think I'll do this. Basically this list is where you want your character to be.

This does not count how you're doing in shows. Just how you're doing in making waves, good IC work and most importantly activeness in EWA discussion thread.

EWAs Top 10 most active:

(The list shows a mix of who is the most talked about, most IC work and who is doing really well)

1 - Barbie Panzer - The lass has a big following.
2 - Chris Jackson - When won't he be in this list honestly.
3 - Carlos Ramon - Good return to EWA for C.A.R
4 - Jacob Cass - He has problems with C.A.R who thinks he can just come back and be forgiven so easily.
5 - Ivanhoe Heskey - Not bad for a guy who misses nearly everything.
6 - Van Hooligan X - The Vanity has been less active recently. For shame! (:()
7 - Mike Muir - Strong words in his filler speech.
8 - Noah - Funny IC work by Noah and a good future ahead it seems, CJ might have a rival!
9 - Donatello Jackson - It's okay DJ. Your brother may be more over than you. But you have your own sho--Oh wait he has an episode planned!
10 - Mike Hawk - Wants to make impact in EWA? Good start since he just makes it into the top 10 with his words in his interview.

02-14-2012, 06:31 PM
Normal filler. Since I dunno what else to put.


But here we go! Next episode of P.o.C!

02-14-2012, 06:36 PM
Episode 3

Theme Song:
Right Here, Right Now - FatBoy Silm


H-hello an' like welcome to the third episode of Point of Convergence! After getting Knocked out last week by Alex Kidd I can safely say I am feeling better then last episode. So thank you to the 1 person who wrote in about my safety and yes mother CJ has stopped pretending tobe a Lollipop man now.

I am reeeeeaaally please to tell you at this time that my guest is not only the most talked about member of the roster. But 1 of the greatest women I want to marry! Sh-she has the power to give men nosebleeds by them just staring at her...err...eyes.

It's Boob—Err Barbie Panzer!

Barbie is sat down in the chair and doesn't look impressed with her introduction whatsoever.
After the introduction Donnie basically keeps smiling awkwardly at her and struggles to keep eye contact with her. Barbie becomes more and more annoyed as the second stick on.

Oh! B-by the way! I got you a present for today!

DJ turns around but very slowly since his neck is still in a bit of pain. He eventually turns around and he has a big collection of beautiful flowers.

I got you these. I hope you like them!

Sadly Barbie has left the chair andJohnny Hot sat down instead. Barbie couldn't be bothered with such an idiot and decided against having an interview since she was still upset about the preview show for Untamed Khaos.

02-14-2012, 06:42 PM
Wait! You're not Barbie!

You're interviewing me this week you idiot.

Oh! Well then please welcome Johnny Hot!It's about damn time you had me on this show! I should've been your first guest because
I'm the number one ratings drawer EWA has! So I'll take your thank you now.

You're welcome! Well, I'm going to break you easily into this interview and start off with an easy one. What got you into wrestling?

Well, even when I was a teenager I was a huge chick magnet, and everyone was jealous of me. Girls would dump their boyfriends for one night with me, and that rubbed some people the wrong way. Guys would come after me, and I'd have to put them in their places. One night anotoriously tough guy came after me, and I made him tap out in minutes. A wrestling promoter was watching the fight and asked me if I wanted to come work for his company. From then on wrestling has been my life.

I see, So is Johnny Hot your real name?

Ofcourse it's my real name! I'm not some idiot who uses a made up namelike Van Hooligan X!

I agree! He doesn't even look like a mode of transport!
Anyway. I have to point out that you've joined HWA and IWF as well as EWA. What made these feds stand out the most for you?

Well it's a well-known fact that I'm the greatest wrestler who ever lived, so if I went to one of the "big two" companies I'd shoot right to the top-but then what? I'd become complacent. I'm the best talent in any fed today! But coming to EWA, IWF, and HWA means that once I reach the top I won't just stop there- I'm going to push each and every company I'm in to the top!

You're brand new to EWA. What makes you stand out from the rest of the roster?

What makes me stand out? What makes me stand out? Just look at me! I've got the look of a champion, the body of a Greek God, I'm gold on the mic, and I'm the greatest wrestler whoever lived! So what makes me stand out? The fact that in my third EWA match ever I'm going to beat that joke Ryku O'Ryan, then move on to becoming the World Champion!

Powerful, powerful words you just sai--I don't suppose you have a spare vase on you to put these Flowers in do you?

Oh yeah, I just happen to carry a vase everywhere I go just for moments like this. Hot rolls his eyes

Hmm. I get the feeling you're being sarcastic. I'll just leave them be I guess.
So, Which brand can we tune into see you wrestle on?

As of now you can see me wrestle on Carnage, but if EWA officials have any brains they'll put me on all the shows. I am the man who rakes in the money, I am the man who week after week puts on match of the night, and not only am I the future of EWA, I am the now!

02-14-2012, 06:48 PM
This is for people who have just heard about you. But would you give us a bio about yourself?

A bio? Well for the lazy couch potatoes who are too fat to get up and Google me, I was born in Massachusetts. Growing up I was always the popular one. I played football and I wrestled, but my favorite thing to do was be with the ladies. Girls were naturally attracted to me- I mean just look at me!- but that pissed off a lot of ugly simpletons. I had to fight a lot, but since I was a State Champion wrestler I would easily pick my attackers apart. One night a promoter saw me, and I never looked back!

Canyou tell us what your finisher is?

My finisher is a top rope splash where I grab my feet behind my back in mid air, then land on my opponent. It is the most devastating move in wrestling history, so since the name "Five Star Frog Splash" has been taken, I think my finisher should be called the "Six Star Frog Splash"!

Sounds like a very strong move. Okay, toughest question I'll probably give you. So CJ says the Egg came first, whilst I know that the Chicken was first. So who'se side are you on? The Chicken or the Egg?

You're an idiot. Does EWA hire just random people off the street? Well they did hire that goof Ivanho Heskey...

Well I was but that's cause I was waiting outside for CJ. He isn't allowed to drive since discovering what a Red Light District is.
Could you give us a top 5 list of who you think is the best 5 wrestlers currently fedding?

NumberFive: Johnny Hot
Number Four: Johnny Hot
Number Three: JohnnyHot
Number Two: Johnny Hot
Number One (Drumroll Please):JOHNNY!!!!! HOT!!!!

Nobody else gets my approval because noone else deserves my approval. I deserve accolade after accolade for my outstanding workin this company and in every other company I've ever been in, and everyone else should worship me, should praise me! I am the next World Champion- mark my words.

Call me the next Sherlock Holmes cause I think you mentioned yourself in that list and listed someone twice as well.
Well, The Twitter and Facebook questions hit an all time high this week, although we're only 3 episodes in I think that is pretty swell. The most wanted question to be answered by you was:
Where do you see yourself being in 1 year, 3 years and 5 years from now in this company?

In one year? World Champion. Three years? Still World Champion. Five years? STILL WORLD CHAMPION! Ya see, I'm setting my sights on the World Title, and after capturing it. I'm not giving it up until I retire! Nobody on this roster- scratch that- nobody in the world can pose a threat to me. Nobody can stop me.

Well good luck to you in achieving that goal. I've ran out of questions so thank you for your time Mr. Hot!

Johnny doesn't say anything. He stands up and leaves since he doesn't need to say good bye to an idiot like DJ.

Next time. We intervie--...Fuck this! Welcome Epic Meal Time to show what we do next week!


Wow! We're doing more then I expected next week.

02-14-2012, 06:59 PM
Think I'll do this. Basically this list is where you want your character to be.

This does not count how you're doing in shows. Just how you're doing in making waves, good IC work and most importantly activeness in EWA discussion thread.

EWAs Top 10 most active:

(The list shows a mix of who is the most talked about, most IC work and who is doing really well)

1 - Barbie Panzer - The lass has a big following.
2 - Chris Jackson - When won't he be in this list honestly.
3 - Carlos Ramon - Good return to EWA for C.A.R
4 - Jacob Cass - He has problems with C.A.R who thinks he can just come back and be forgiven so easily.
5 - Ivanhoe Heskey - Not bad for a guy who misses nearly everything.
6 - Van Hooligan X - The Vanity has been less active recently. For shame! (:()
7 - Mike Muir - Strong words in his filler speech.
8 - Noah - Funny IC work by Noah and a good future ahead it seems, CJ might have a rival!
9 - Donatello Jackson - It's okay DJ. Your brother may be more over than you. But you have your own sho--Oh wait he has an episode planned!
10 - Mike Hawk - Wants to make impact in EWA? Good start since he just makes it into the top 10 with his words in his interview.

Quote bumping this! (to make a decent filler since fillers SUCK!)

You all should aim to be in the EWA top 10 list peeps. Means you're 1 of the more active users and creative should take note on who is in this list :)

Special thanks to Giddy for a short but really good interview. Telling you people now. I'm only interviewing people who make the top 10 list since they will deserve it more. But here comes the 2 speeches sent in this week :)

02-14-2012, 07:01 PM
Noah Phillips:

*A camera is set up in a dark room, there's no one around, that is.. until...*


*Noah Philips walks into view in a stunning looking gold and black evening gown, blond wig and gold and black face paint. He speaks in a hushed fashion.*

Noah: EWA.. my new home.. or maybe.. a home away from home.. it doesn't matter.. all the matters is that Gooooldust has arrived.

*Noah blows a kiss to the camera*

Noah: Now.. I know what you're thinking.. why is the bizarre one here? Why is Goldust coming to EWA? Well.. i'll tell you..

*Noah moves closer to the camera, making a biting gesture towards it.*

Noah: Goldust is here because EWA lacks something... raw sex appeal that only I can provide. I spoke to Barbie the other day.. she couldn't keep her hands off me.. she wanted a piece of.. Goldust...

*He removes the wig and the gown, revealing a gold and black leotard.*

Noah: You see.. not only does Goldust have raw sex appeal.. but he has star quality.. and i'm here to star in yet another one of my Shattered Dreams productions.. oh yes, it's true.. and who knows, maybe i'll find myself.. another star in the making. Mmhmm.. that's right.. i'll make you famous...

But the truth is.. i'm here for much more than that.. i'm here to show the world, that I am more than just a pretty face.. I am...

*Noah inhales sharply and runs his hands up his chest*

Noah: Gooolduuussssst!

02-14-2012, 07:15 PM

*Smoke and mist appear from nowhere and make it hard for the camera to see anything. Suddenly you can see someone gradually walking forward towards the camera.

Eventually the camera can make out who it is. It is Smoggie. The man from the interview with Barbie. You cannot see his face because he is wearing a big gas mask. The smoke finally begins to fade and Smoggie takes off his massive jacket and slowly takes off his gas mask. He reveals that he was wearing a gimp mask underneath the large gas mask and a hoodie.

He takes his time turning around and takes off his gimp mask and takes off the hoodie to show everyone that he is wearing a shirt that says 'UP THE BORO!'

He turns around and stares angrily into the camera whilst breathing very heavily*


*Suddenly mist and smoke begin to cloud the camera and he walks backwards into the smog and ends the second sighting, of the Smogger*

02-15-2012, 10:45 AM
filler eins

02-15-2012, 10:46 AM
filler dos

02-15-2012, 10:47 AM
filler 3 revenge of the sith

02-15-2012, 10:49 AM
last filler- contract signing next

02-15-2012, 10:56 AM


Exclusive EWA Signing
of Amadeus Frewin and his manager/wife Elfreida Frewin

Barbie Panzer is in EWA Studios, she is dressed very un Barbie like- she is in a long black tight dress and her hair is pulled back. She looks very beautiful and very professional.

Barbie Panzer: Wow what a busy week here in EWA with all the recent signings of Mr Hawk, Mr Phillips, Dave "The Gunner" Steele Smoggie, and Dingo Mac, All great additions to EWA’s family- they all will have a great future here.

Barbie: And we also had yet another signing as a result of a bidding war with other feds- actually two signings- Amadeus Frewin and his manager/wife Elfreida Frewin. EWA management flew me into the studios as their representative to record an official contract signing. Along here with me are EWA lawyers points to them Henry J Rollins and Joe E Cole.

Barbie sits down and Rollins and Cole are on either side of her standing.

Barbie: Ok please send them in.

A man in a open very nice silver suit with black long sleeve dress shirt, and a remarkable looking silk blue tie, dark black menacing sunglasses,and tied exquisite black tyed dress shoes sits in a chair. The man has a black short,laying down flat,not spiked,mohawk,and a full stubblish trim black five o'clock shadow beard. He a very ominous cold air about him. A stunningly beautiful,drop dead gorgeous woman stands beside him on his right side,with a hand on his shoulder and in her other hand she is holding a silver briefcase. Her hair is long sleek and dark black,and is pulled back into a ponytail with a few strands dropping down. She wears extremely nice full standard makeup,a black strapless dress,black closed toe high heels,and a very large stunning diamond ring. The mans head is kept somewhat down,as it clear the woman is in overseeing the business procedures for him,but he appears to still be listening intently.

Barbie Panzer: Welcome to the both of you to EWA,we are very glad to have you,And now,You are Elfreida Frewin and this is Amadeus,correct?

Amadeus nods slightly,without looking up,signifying she is correct. Elfreida grips his right shoulder a bit affectionately,and she clears her throat and lets out a deep breath,preparing to speak.

Elfeida: Turning to Amadeus"Lovely room they've got here,isn't my love? (And now she turns back to Barbie.) Yes exactly right,We are the Frewins,And we can not thank you enough for giving us this opportunity to make our name rise higher than ever before. My heart has brought him here and he shall make me incredibly proud."

Amadeus nods again and Elfreida says to him: I can not wait to see you take out your first opponent dear,our own personal quest for glory will be too much for them to overcome. Again Amadeus nods,this time more than before.

Barbie Panzer: Here in EWA we like competitors who have a take charge attitude,keep that up and you will go far. So tell us where a man like Amadeus comes from,and hes obviously a very well to do man monetary wise,How did he come into his obvious wealth?

Elfreida: Amadeus comes from Wall Street,New York,and he is nothing more than a "self made" businessman. Years of making the right decisions,smart moves,and saving up every dollar Barbie." (She says this with a slight half grin of a smirk,and Amadeus nods more as she pats his shoulder a few times.)

02-15-2012, 11:07 AM
Barbie Panzer: A smart businessman is certainly a good addition to this company,if he knows how to do the right things nothing will stop him. So I have have heard he is an expert in the ring as well,trained and well versed in all sorts of combat and fighting styles,as well as pure wrestling as well? Forgive me for all the questions,I am simply trying to learn more about our two newest acquisitions.

Elfreida smiles widely,dismissing her apology,signaling that the questions are fine. Amadeus then takes hold of her hand on his shoulder and kisses it once and then releases it again as she smiles at him and replaces it onto his shoulder.

Elfreida: The questions are fine miss,I could never tire of telling you about the love of my life anyways. Yes you are correct once again,Amadeus is nothing but a fighting machine,He has black belts in more than one kind of martial arts,is supreme in the art of MMA,and will wrestle a startled hibernating bear right out of its cave,He knows every counter to every hold,and every way to chain them all together effortlessly. Although I cant wait for our time to outshine everyone,I almost feel a somewhat remorse for whoever he may face.

Elfreida says to Amadeus now: Ah you know I'm not telling the truth,you understand me way to well,Of course we don't care about who has to get hurt as long as we do what we've came for.

Amadeus nods more now,cracking his knuckles as well.

Barbie Panzer: Once again it sounds as if your husband will have quite the future here,And if you have nothing else to say I think we can pens to paper and make this official.

Elfreida grips his shoulder once more now.

Elfreida: Yes I think we are done talking here Barbie,It has been a pleasure introducing you to the man that owns all of my love.

Amadeus now looks up for the first time during the signing, removing his sunglasses,revealing green eyes that practically cut through Barbie and the lawyers.

Barbie: Alright then,wonderful,If you can both just sign here,here,and right there we will be finalized.

Barbie slides two clipboards full of paperwork across the desk and Elfreida takes one of them and signs it,putting her signature on all of the papers.

Amadeus now gets up,rising out of the chair,and the lawyers flinch a little and step back a bit. Elfreida grins halfway and says: Relax,he's just coming to sign the papers,No need to be frightened.

Amadeus takes the few steps to the desk and then picks up the other clipboard and Elfreida hands him the pen with a large beautiful smile. He nods to her and begins signing away,putting ink to paper,and setting them back down and hands them across to Barbie who looks them over just to be sure everything is correct.

Barbie Panzer: Thank you very much,its been a pleasure doing business with you here. I can not wait to see where the Frewins go here in EWA.

Elfreida extends a hand to Barbie and they shake hands,and Amadeus calmly shakes Barbies hand as well.

02-15-2012, 11:17 AM
Elfreida: But we are not quite done here,we have a slight bit of business to discuss with you now.

Amadeus now nods more than ever,and Elfreida opens the silver briefcase she has been clutching the entire time in her right hand,revealing stacks upon stacks of crisp bright green money,all held tightly with bright white rubber bands,so much the entire case is filled up. Barbie and the lawyers are both instinctively surprised,as their eyes light up,trying to make sorts of all the money before them.

Elfreida reaches in and takes three large tight stacks of bills out,holding them in her other hand.

Elfreida: Allow us to give you this as a token of our genuine gratitude and appreciation for giving us this opportunity to be here,these contracts grant us the chance to add even more prestige to our names. Fifty thousand right here for all of you.

Elfreida hands the three stacks to all of them,and they take it individually and pocket them.

Barbie smiles and says: I think we're going to get along quite fine here.

Elfreida flashes her a smile and then shuts the case again and she and Amadeus turn towards the door and he opens it for her and says:"Thank you much,my love." as they go out the door,closing it behind them.

Barbie is very happy now, she places the money on the desk and starts counting.

Barbie: Oh my God, I just want to go home and roll around in this naked. I love those guys!

The two lawyers, Rollins and Cole walk up to her as she is counting.

Rollins: That is EWA property, hand it over whore, unless of course you want to service both Cole and I- then maybe some kind of deal can be made.

Cole: Yeah, what is it whore? he starts to unzip his pants

Barbie: in tears I am not a whore, here take the damn money she pushes the money towards them- they collect it and walk out the studio with the contracts in hand- leaving Barbie in tears

Barbie takes her phone out and places a call

Barbie: crying even harder Hey, Karl can you pick me up from…are you drinking? You guys went to Germany without me? Hanz with you too? What is he doing in the states? Oh, EWNCW, and he did not invite me? well never mind…yes, I am crying. Nevermind, nothing you guys can do now.

Barbie places another call

Barbie: Come on Van, pick up, pick up! no answer so Barbie looks through the desk and finds a list of EWA staff and roster, she places another call.

Barbie: Oh hey, this is Barbie Panzer, I was wondering…Hell No! she hangs up, and tries another number

Barbie: Hello, this is Barbie Panzer, I am at EWA Studios and was wondering if ……..No, I will not let you do me on the desk…What? No I am not a whore ya bastard

Camera man: Can I do you on the desk?

Barbie walks over to him and slaps the shit out of him, the camera man runs off

Barbie: looking at the list again, still in tears, I will try this one- she dials the phone. Oh hey I am at the EWA Studios, I know you don’t really know me but I am, what? Yes, I’m crying, well yeah, everybody is being mean to me. I’m just trying to do my job. Oh, this is Barbie Panzer. Oh thank you, Anyways, I was wondering if you could pick me up at the studios, the producer has left and I could not find a ride. You can? Oh my God, thank you. Ok see you then

Barbie wipes her tears away, looks in the mirror, re applies her makeup- then heads off downstairs. The camera is now just focused on an empty room

02-15-2012, 04:24 PM
bumping this up...a filler. i can not think of what else to put here

02-16-2012, 11:55 AM
bumping it up again

02-16-2012, 12:57 PM
Right - Now I need to fill

02-16-2012, 12:57 PM
Carnage will be up in 2 hours though

02-16-2012, 12:58 PM
Anyone want to appear on Carnage you have to let me know

02-16-2012, 12:58 PM
Anyone want to appear on Carnage you have to let me know

Anybody - whenever you joined - so far just SB has wanted to

And Yes, I did just quote myself

02-16-2012, 01:00 PM
3 matches - however many promo's (except for 1 person who hasn't as of yet got it in :( ) Not to be missed

See you at 8PM UK Time

02-16-2012, 03:12 PM
Carnage ep 2


The Camera immediatly shows Iva Hardy Backstage with a strange man

IH: EWA fans, we are here backstage with the latest acquisition to EWA, that is Dave "The Gunner" Steele. Mr. Steele, I believe that you have a great future here at EWA, but what plans.... (Steele, takes her mic away)

DS: Sorry to cut you off sweetheart, but quite frankly you're beginning to bore the hell out of me. Save the praises for everyone else. Yes, I am the newest member here at EWA, and damn right my future is gonna be legendary here at EWA, but my plans Miss Hardy, are not any of your damn business. The Semper Fi army will rise here at the EWA and I am gunning for the EWA World Title. I offer an open challenge to any chump in the arena. I don't play games, and i'm not into comedy acts. I came here to fight and beat the crap out of anyone who gets in my way.

IH: (Grabs the mic) If I may ask, what.... (Steele again takes the mic away from Iva)

DS: No you may not Hardy, you are dismissed... Get the hell out of here. Men have tried to challenged me and i have either orphaned their children or widowed their women. I'm not playing around. I'm here on a mission and I've just declared WAR on the EWA. You want some of me, I'm not a hard man to find, I'll be here all night. SEMPER FI!!!! Oorah!

Dave leaves and a man and a woman enters. They are revealed to be the newest EWA stars, Amadeus Frewin and his manager/wife Elfreida. Elfreida has a briefcase in hand again as she clutches onto Amadeus' arm gently but tightly as well,in loving fashion.

Amadeus stands with his head lowered, as Elfreida leans over close to him,saying something that cant be heard softly in his ear. He nods to her in approval,and whatever she said has caused her to turn to him with a smile.

IH: Now with me at this time is Amadeus and Elfreida Frewin, the two newest acquisitions of EWA who were just signed twenty four hours ago, as we all saw during the meeting with Barbie Panzer. Now as of right now the two of you do not belong to an official brand here,so what will they have to do to get you to broker an official deal and sign an official long term show contract?

E: Yes, We've heard that the head manager of the company is away on business out of town, so when he comes back in we will have a meeting immediately to discuss the future monetary amounts and a set location, and Iva its going to take quiet the offer, you see, anything less than extraordinary will be turned down, if the offers not good enough we may take it as an insult because Amadeus has more money with him right now than your yearly salary, what I'm trying to say is you don't make a businessman like him a cheap offer and expect to get away with it.

IH: So you will accept nothing but the most lucrative offers, and its documented that Amadeus is an expert fighter and wrestler, that being said, What are your goals here in EWA?

E: Correct, Amadeus will jump from corner to corner, going from one side of the ring to other effortlessly, then lock and twist opponents around themselves in circles before ending it by putting them down with a concussion or aneurism right on the top of their head, and our goals are simple: Glory, to extend our name with the highest honors, and we will start by taking out the first man who gets in the ring with him, we plan on showing no care or regard for anyone else at all, because this love is all we need, the Frewins have no feelings for others, and we will take what we aim to achieve by winning the top prize on whatever show it is we sign to.

IH: Then I take it every champion should keep a constant eye over their shoulder at all times, And I must say I think it would be a wise idea judging by Amadeus' demeanor. And now if I may ask, it is a little known rumor that your husband has a bit of a checkered past, is there any truth that he served time behind bars on several occasions before?

E: Absolutely not. The man of my heart is nothing more than a smart businessman who knows how to handle money,does this look like the face of a criminal to you? Amadeus has done nothing but make the smart moves on every chance he's gotten,anyone who has said otherwise about him is obviously jealous of our wealth. Show me any records of my husband being a former time server and I will take back what I have said.

IH: Now since we are getting to know the latest stars of EWA,let me ask you this, how long exactly have the two of you been married?

E: Ah, Iva, the time doesnt matter because we pay no attention to numbers because our love is eternal. Our love is the only feelings we have, when you live a life of absolute happiness together like we do, one doesn't have room for anything else, I see nothing but him in my eyes mind and heart and vice versa.

IH: Now we know some things about Amadeus but what about you?

E: Again a trivial matter Iva, I am from purely the inside of his heart, my information is not relevant other than that I am here to help make sure my love reaches everything he has set out to do.

IH: Alright thank you for the time Elfreida,I think that about wraps up the interview,thank you for shedding some light upon the latest acquisition in EWA, and folks stay tuned in the future to find out what show The Frewins will make a deal with.

E: But just one more thing Iva,We're not quite done here,for we have a bit of business here for you.

IH: If its anything like the business you gave Barbie I'm listening.

Elfreida now smiles and Amadeus nods his head again, Elfreida opens the silver briefcase now revealing the stacks and stacks of bills,and she reaches into it and takes out a pair of them,wrapped tightly in rubber bands. The money is brilliantly clean and crisp,appearing to be brand new.

E: Right here is one hundred thousand for you, take it and save it for a rainy day or something,and remember where you got it from.

Iva can't help but smile as she pockets the large stack in her pants as she tells Elfreida:

IH: I certainly will

Elfreida now shuts the briefcase again and clasps the snaps shut tightly and then places a hand on Amadeus' face as she plants a soft kiss right on his lips and he nods at her,looking into her eyes. She tells him:" Oh how our time is near my love." and then she takes hold of his arm again as before as they turn and walk off.

02-16-2012, 03:41 PM
HH: We are here in Plymouth here for a special edition of EWA Carnage. "The Fink" Howard Huggins here joined by Bobby "The Brain" Watson here and now we await the great show we have tonight. But that was 2 of the newest wrestlers here in EWA, and a grumpy manager

BW: And although I don't think she's grumpy, you're right - and although I am honoured and deserving to be in the same class as the Great Hall of Famer Bobby Heenan - you are not in The Fink's league.

HH: In your opinion

BW: And everyone's at home. But anyway today we have 3 great matches planned for you - including what should be a terrific main event

HH: Correct you are Bobby, as Carlos Alberto Ramon teams with Northern Aggresion, against the team of Jacob Cass in his EWA debut, Ivanhoe Heskey and a mystery partner

BW: Mystery partner's are so over-rated. I'm mean let's face it. A tag team against Cass and a mystery partner - it's like WWE 12 all over again

HH: If you say so, but not only that - but Zack Silver, Laurent and Freddrick Detor will face off in a rematch from last week

BW: Detor's the only credible man in that match - American Hero right there

HH: Well, we're in Plymouth, England. The birthplace of Sir Francis Drake, the man who defended England and defeated the Spanish Armada - and he discovered New England

BW: Wow, you did your homework didn't you

HH: It was due in today, so I did it last night

BW: Umm, what

HH: Yeah, my teacher at Tywardreath primary school thought it was good

BW: But... your 42

HH: Physically but apparently not mentally

BW: Well, I guess that explains a lot

HH: You're damn right it does.

BW: Anyway though, in our 1st contest, as promised last week, will be Ryku O'Ryan - who's hometown is only 2 hours away from Plymouth, and he is against the American Great a Mr. Johnny Hot

HH: He's from the Isle of Man douche. I wouldn't call Hot an American Great, but still this match should be great.

BW: If you remember Johnny Hot was on Donnie Jackson's Point of Convergence on Valentine's Day, and we'll just give you a little snippet here
__________________________________________________ _______________________________________

DT: You're brand new to EWA. What makes you stand out from the rest of the roster?

JH: What makes me stand out? What makes me stand out? Just look at me! I've got the look of a champion, the body of a Greek God, I'm gold on the mic, and I'm the greatest wrestler whoever lived! So what makes me stand out? The fact that in my third EWA match ever I'm going to beat that joke Ryku O'Ryan, then move on to becoming the World Champion!

DT: So, Which brand can we tune into see you wrestle on?

JH: As of now you can see me wrestle on Carnage, but if EWA officials have any brains they'll put me on all the shows. I am the man who rakes in the money, I am the man who week after week puts on match of the night, and not only am I the future of EWA, I am the now!

__________________________________________________ ________________________________________

The Camera pans to the backstage area - to show Iva Hardy with a mic in hand

IH: My guest at this time: Johnny Hot.

*Hot walks onto the camera and the crowd begins to boo. Hot puts his arm around Iva and she blushes*

JH: What's up sweet cheeks?

IH: Uh... um.. Do you think you can beat Ryku O'Ryan here tonight?

*Hot smiles and laughs to himself*

JH: I should've known that with you being so hot you'd have a teeny brain. Only a ridiculously stupid person would ask such an asinine question. Can I beat Ryku O'Ryan? Of course! I've told you all enough times, I'm the greatest wrestler who ever lived!

*Crowd Boos*

JH: Everyone in the audience is saying O'Ryan is the future. Well that just proves that they are just as idiotic as I thought. O'Ryan is just average- at best- but I am the future... and I am the now! I am the best thing going in EWA, I am the man who will push EWA to the top of the food chain.

Now you see that all starts tonight when I bet that sad excuse for a wrestler, but then I'm setting my sights on the World Title. I am leaps and bounds ahead of everyone else on Carnage. Just ask "Mr. Midget" Daymian Bloodrock! Last week I single handedly defeated him in not just any kind of match, but in a tables match! I left him bruised an battered, and just like I told everyone, I was the man getting my hand raised- and that's the same scene everyone will see tonight. Johnny Hot getting his hand raised with a broken and bruised Ryku O'Ryan laying on his back looking up at me. And in that moment he will know that I am the next big thing and, just like Daymian Bloodrock, he's just another footnote in my legendary career.

*Hot looks into Iva's eyes*

JH: Thank you for having me baby. Now for good luck...

*Hot leans in and makes out with Iva for a good 25 seconds, then leaves for the ring*

HH: What a manwhore

BW: Better than a postwhore - you were praising The Chosen One earlier

HH: He prefers the name postslut thank you very much

KEEP TO KAYFABE PEOPLE (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TrVVPiJWpx8)

BW: Here he is - the man in the moment - Johnny Hot

HH: It's getting Hot in here

BW: You stole my line

HH: Oh, my bad

BW: What are you doing

HH: I think Somebody Better Call my Momma

BW: You're just being stupid now

HH: You're a dick

BW: Whatever

And Here Comes his opponent (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vbwZNALLjgs)

BW: Here comes the Jobber

HH: He's not a jobber

BW: Yeah he is - anyway - I thought jobbers rule

HH: Whatever - let's listen

*Ryku walks down the ring, the crowd roars for The Natural*

RO'R: So, tonight I face another loud mouth fella, some guy name Johnny Hot. First off, people give me grief about my name, but seriously why would you name your child Johnny Hot? We're they hopin' he'd get his arse kicked on a regular basis? I mean if that is what they want I will gladly oblige.

*Crowd laughs*

RO'R: Secondly, to Gaileo. I want you to pay attention to my match tonight, you can expect the same type of arse kickin' when we step in the ring, and we will step in the ring, ya hear me Fella?

(Angle/Hot - Storm/Ryku)


(Ignore entrance's - watch until 2nd video 3:52)

BW: What a German Suplex there by Hot - dropped Ryku O'Ryan right on his head

Hot goes for the pin but O'Ryan counters into a small package




HH: That was close there

BW: Yeah, exciting action here

Gaileo runs down the ramp and attacks Ryku O'Ryan - causing the DQ

HH: Oh god, Gaileo just ruined a very good match

BW: Ruined - I prefer saved us from a match which was very one sided in favour of Hot

Gaileo locks in the figure four, with Johnny Hot delivering a leg drop to O'Ryan

HH: This is too much now - release the hold

BW: Feel the Pain, Feel the Anger

HH: You are sick you know that

BW: Yeah, I did

Hot goes to the top rope, but Daymein Bloodstone comes to ringside and pushes Hot to the floor. Gaileo doesn't see Bloodstone and Bloodstone goes high and lands the Double Moonsault

BW: What is Bloodstone doing out here - this isn't any of his business

HH: It's not Gaileo's business either though - is it?

BW: Yes it is - in case you haven't noticed Gaileo is currently feuding with O'Ryan - and O'Ryan called him out

HH: Yes, but why not wait until Untamed Khaos

BW: No need - show him why they shouldn't mess with him

02-16-2012, 04:58 PM
HH: And now we have a rematch from last week between Zack Silver, Freddrick Detor and Laurent

BW: And we're being told right now that this will now be posted under Hardcore Rules

HH: Wow, that should be great then, shouldn't it

BW: As long as Detor can use a steel chair, or a Kendo Stick to his advantage

HH: Well, at least this way we can have a clear winner

BW: Yes, and I'm being told that today we are not having any promo's from these 3

HH: Unfortunately Zack Silver's agent hasn't responded to us - which is a shame - he's normally reliable

BW: Don't break kayfabe

HH: Sorry, but not as sorry as Laurent will make Detor. Detor has said; and I quote "Abstain from talking to any fans in the God forsaken continent these strange people call Europe"

BW: And Laurent isn't talking because he doesn't want to be different

HH: Anyway, let's move onto the wrestling. Hardcore Rules Triple Threat Match

BW: Whoever wins this match get's a big advantage to their next step in their EWA career

Heel's 1st (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jAYPN-1Yjt0)

BW: How dare these dreadful fans boo the American National Anthem

HH: Because, and I mean this in the nicest way possible NO ONE CARES ABOUT THE AMERICA

BW: How do you make your words so big

HH: You have to ask Destruction for permission

BW: Cool let me try Destruction can I have big words

HH: Ha Ha

BW: Piss off

The Frenchman has arrived (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=koJlIGDImiU)

HH: Laurent s'il vous plait sucer la bite laurent - et donnez-moi une pipe. Je vais faire la meme chose de vous.

BW: Whatever you just said - probably just pissed off Laurent even more

HH: How do you know - do you speak French

BW: I do actually

HH: Bullshit

BW: Je fais Howard, mon pere etait francais

And now the man who couldn't give 2 shits about any of this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LOESyEljmFE)

HH: Zack is the favourite in this match

BW; He did win last week, but I know who will win today

HH: I think you should talk less

(Snow/Silver - Gunn/Laurent - Holly/Detor)

(2:42 - 7:40)

HH: Poetry in motion

BW: Dreadful, what a fluke he is

HH: What

BW: Well, Laurent was going to counter it but he tripped

HH: Of course he did

Northern Aggression comes to ringside and attack all 3 men. They throw Detor out of the ring and beat down on Laurent and Silver before leaving them to recover

*Baker and Butcher reach into their pockets, pull out some cigarettes and light up.

DB: My god did those guys stink up the ring for a second week in a row, we just had to put them out of their miseries.

TB: I don't know who was worse, the bloody French man, the idiot Detor, or the pathetic Silver.

DB: None of them would last a minute in the ring with either one of us fat bastard.

TB: Who you calling fat you fucking bastard?

DB: You know what's funny?

TB: No what?

DB: Detor hates foreigners, we are on a tour of Europe.

TB: So?

DB: Never mind.

TB: uh, maybe we should address the crowd now.

DB: Yeah, sounds good to me.

They throw their cigarette butts to the floor, and both light up another one.

TB: The real reason we came out is we wanted to make a statement. We want to put everybody in EWA to take notice- we are not guys to fuck with.

DB: And especially don't fuck with us when we are drinking- which is pretty much all the fucking time.

TB: I am hungry now, we best wrap this up soon.

DB: Hang on a minute, let me finish.

TB: Well hurry the fuck up.

DB: Uh, shit I forgot what I was gonna say- it was something about a statement.

TB: Oh yeah, about the statement we just made, nobody fucks with us- well tonight, that statement continues.

DB: What the bloody hell are you talking about?

TB: We have a match tonight- we get to make another statement.

DB: Shit, I thought we were gonna eat.

TB: We will, after.

DB: Well who do we wrestle?

TB: Cass, Heskey and somebody else.

DB: Wait, a two on three match? Thats not bloody fair.

TB: Well we do have partner.

DB: How do you know all this?

TB: When you were taking a shit, I had to go get another pack of cigarettes out of the machine. The card lineup was posted right next to it.

DB: Well who the bloody hell is our partner?

TB: Carlos Alberto Ramon.

DB: Swell, I quite like the lad. I hope he brings some burritos out with him. I am starving

02-16-2012, 05:32 PM
And Their Tag Team Partner (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XdSptXXvbwA)

*The cocky superstar comes out from behind the curtain and stands at the top of the stage with his trademark cocky smile! A few cheers can be heard amongst the overwhelming boo’s! Ramon with a mic in hand begins to swagger his way down the ramp heading to the ring*

CAR.: My name.. My name is Carlos Alberto Ramon! I am the new face of this company and the future of wrestling El Bandido!

*The crowd begin to boo once again while chanting “You suck, you suck”
Ramon’s cocky smile has not turned into an anger expression*

CAR: I suck?. I suck chico’s?. I will tell you what suck’s.. Being in Plymouth is what really sucks! You fans all suck.. You boo the most talented man on the roster.. The most talented wrestler in the world, you all boo me because you are jealous.. You know that I can leave this shit whole once the show is over and fly back to a real country.. A beautiful country, my country Portugal! While all of you have to stay here and get on with your pathetic lives!.. You should all be honoured that a global star like me is hear in the first place!

*The crowd continue to boo and chant “ you suck”*

CAR.: Last week I made my return and taught a lesson to a man named Ivanhoe Heskey! I made him tap out easier then I can make a women scream with pleasure!

*Ramon looks down the camera and does his trademark wink and the cocky smile has returned!*

CAR: However.. Someone had to get involved and try to become the local super hero! That bichano is named Jacob Cass! Listen hear chico.. Me and you have had words backstage and I meant what I said.. You keep getting in my way and bad things will happen amigo! Tonight I am teaming with Northern Aggression and were going against Heskey and Cass and a mystery partner.. After our win me and my partners for tonight will be partying and actually trying to find some decent English women who actually have teeth and have not yet appeared on the Jeremy Kyle show! Let’s get this match started.. Get out here bichano’s!

BW: Get out here bitches

HH: It's pronounce bichano's

Here comes the bichano's (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KRyT7e5wXlQ&feature=fvst)

*Out comes Jacob Cass, who is making his EWA debut tonight and the crowd is going wild! He was the man who headlined a WrestleMania and helped save WWE from becoming WCW again. His music stops with him at the top of the stage and then all you can hear is "Welcome Jacob!" chants*

Cass: I truly cannot express how great it is to hear that chants. *crowd pops* I've wanted to make my in-ring debut for a while now but that 90 day clause is a bitch haha. But in all seriousness it is great to finally have a company that wants to truly use me. But more importantly help do what I have always wanted to do and that's putting on breathtaking matches from great loyal fans, and EWA has some of the most loyal fans out their with what happened at the beginning. *crowd pops even greater*

But tonight I am in a 6 man tag match. Against some smelly tag team and more importantly, Carlos "I should stop copying Del Rio" Ramon.

Crowd boos on the mere mention of C.A.R.

He was originally on the EWA roster. But bailed at the slightliest hint of trouble. But now that EWA got bought out and saved, he is back and thinks everything is A-OK. Well loyalty and trust go along way! So tonight, my friends are going to show you what that sort of bond WILL achieve!

*Ivanhoe Heskey comes out to a big pop and has a mic ready in his hands (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qWP-z4O8Ddo)*

IH: Thanks Cass! But we can't do this alone. If we're going to take these guys down we're going to need 1 more person and I know just the guy! Welcome 3rd man of our team! Mike Hawk!

"Mike Hawk comes out to a small pop and fans are wondering who he is." (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zj2uZO7xnus&ob=av2e)

MH: I know most of you have never seen me before and those of you that cheering probably keep up with other companies in Mexico and Japan. Well I am "Mr. Mayhem" Mike Hawk and I came here when I heard about a future title tournament. But tonight I am here to assist some friends of mine and demonstrate my skill in the ring for the world to see. By the end of the night, the only thing Ramon will remember is pure mayhem!

(Barrett/Butcher - Del Rio/Baker - Miz/Ramon - Mysterio/Hawk - Cena/Cass - Orton/Heskey)

(Skip openings - watch until 7:51)

HH: Great crossbody there by Hawk

BW: Mediocre at best

HH: You have 1 bollock at best

BW: You don't even have that

HH: I do have one thank you very much

BW: Whatever

Hawk dropkicks NA off the apron, and then tags in Cass. Cass lifts Ramon on his shoulders and Heskey goes to the top rope

HH: I know what's coming now


HH: Doomsday Device is here

They hit the doomsday device and Hawk goes up on the top rope and hit's the phoenix splash and covers




BW: They do it.

HH: Cass, Heskey and Hawk picks up the win

BW: Although they do have the advantage of a surprise partner

HH: Whatever - Goodnight Everybody

The Faces pose to end the show

02-16-2012, 05:33 PM
Bumpage and a filler

02-16-2012, 05:34 PM
And 1 more

I'll leave the rest to Shining and Promo's

02-17-2012, 01:06 PM
Shining - you now have 3 fillers

02-17-2012, 01:07 PM
Actually 2

Shining Light
02-17-2012, 02:12 PM
Ooooo! My first filler :)

Remember kids, the bird is equal to or greater than the word.

http://www.bluemantshirts.com/images/bfs_slogans/finished/BIRD IS THE WORD 2.png

Shining Light
02-17-2012, 02:17 PM
Seriously kids, that whole "Bird is the Word" stuff got me an A* in Drama :cool:

Well it's here and I guess it's queer. CJ's kinda queer, but he's got a fetish for little girls, so it kinda balances it all out really.


Shining Light
02-17-2012, 02:18 PM
“How Jacko became Whacko”

The story of Christopher Jackson

*The camera is focused on a picture of CJ hugging a fan of his. When the camera moves, Piers Morgan can be seen there, admiring the picture*

PM: There’s no doubt that there’s more to Christopher Jackson than meets the eye. He is well known for being an open and honest person, and that is what has gained him such a large fan base. They call themselves the “Whacko Jacko fan club” and they tune in every week to EWA just to see him go about his duty as GM of its Fury brand. But there are things that Christopher has never mentioned before. His family, his childhood and even his obsession for dirty underpants. Well I’m here tonight to get to know the man behind the desk. I’m here to discover his past and possibly uncover his future. I’m here to find out how Jacko became Whacko

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y7EwwupfZtc (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y7EwwupfZtc)

*The doors open and in walks CJ to a loud ovation from the audience. He waves to a few of the people and even takes the time to kiss a baby on the forehead, then its cheek and then on its lips. He doesn’t stop kissing the baby for about 2 minutes, and it’s up to the parents to force him away. He blushes and heads to his seat*

PM: Thanks for coming Christopher

CJ: Please, call me CJ. We’re all gay lovers here!

PM: We’re all what?

CJ: Friends. We’re all good friends here.

PM: Ok then… So, tell us a little about yourself CJ.

CJ: Well… I was born on the 25th March 1952 in the city of Manchester

PM: Hang on, your 59 years old!?

CJ: Don’t interrupt! And yes, I am. I’m guessing you’re wondering how I keep my dashing good looks hmm? Well to tell you the truth, I have no fucking idea!

*Piers coughs loudly*

PM: I have to remind you to not swear here CJ, we will be watched by a family audience after all

CJ: Really! I can’t fucking swear? What kind of motherfucking Country do we live in where one person can’t swear in the middle of filming for a TV show that is expected to be watched by at least 15 million people? Unbelievable. Unbe-fucking-lievable. I blame that skank Margaret Thatcher for all of this!

PM: Look CJ, I won’t remind you again. Watch your language.

Shining Light
02-17-2012, 02:21 PM
CJ: Oh calm down you old geezer! I’m only having a laugh!

PM: Alright then, now that we’ve got that out of the way, care to explain your weird obsession with dirty pants?

*CJ laughs out loud*

CJ: When I was a young boy, I used to have a habit of not washing my underpants. Obviously over time they would accumulate a large amount of “skid marks” and the children at School would laugh at me. They would bully me and tease me, and I was given the nickname of “Skidderz”. But one day, a fire broke out in the Science lab, and I saved the day.

PM: What did you do?

CJ: I stripped completely naked, and used my underpants to douse the fire

PM: You do realize that taking off your underpants doesn’t require you to be completely naked?

CJ: Really? I thought it was kinda compulsory

PM: You’re not exactly the brightest bulb in the box are you?

CJ: What’s a bulb?

PM: Jesus Christ…

CJ: Hey! Watch your language Piers! Might I remind you that this show will be watched by a large group of sexy children and their families…

PM: Seriously, what is with this “paedophile gimmick”?

*CJ looks quite offended*

CJ: A gimmick? Piers this isn’t a gimmick, this is life. And you need to start living it.

*CJ leans forwards and begins to shake Piers by the shoulders*

Are you living it Piers? Are you living life to the max?

*Piers pushes CJ away*

PM: Get off me! Let’s just cut to the clips of people talking about you in the hope that it will make you cry and reflect on some personal issues.

*CJ’s Mum appears on the screen*

MU: What do I think about CJ? He’s a twat. Always has been, always will be. I know he’s my son and all that, but I just can’t stand him. He constantly shit himself as a child, he always threw up on me and he was always trying to pull down my knickers! Thank Christ for DJ, he’s the normal one…

*DJ appears on the screen*

DJ: What do I think about CJ? He’s the best brother in the whole wide world!

Shining Light
02-17-2012, 02:25 PM
*A huge grin emerges on DJ’s face*

He’s great with the women, he’s great with the men and he’s great with children. I remember when we were both little boys, and CJ convinced our next door neighbour to take both our virginity’s. I chickened out, but CJ went and banged her 6 times in a row! He’s a legend. An absolute legend.

*Jessie J appears on the screen*

JJ: What do I think about CJ? He is sooo cute! I’m eternally grateful for all the help he’s given me with my songs. Without him, there would be no Domino or Price Tag. He’s my best friend, and I love him so much.

*Fabio Capello appears on the screen*

FC: I…

*The camera immediately focuses back on Piers*

PM: Yeah we don’t need to know what he thinks… So tell us about your work at EWA

CJ: It’s an amazing experience working with the guys at EWA. They’re my family and we all look out for each other. Except Hanz Gruber, Horus Black and Van Hooligan X. As far as I’m concerned they can all burn in hell.

PM: Ah yes, you’ve had quite a history with those three. Care to explain?

CJ: Simply put… Horus is a twat, Van got me arrested for paedophilia and Hanz just smells bad.

PM: Language!

CJ: Sorry!

*Piers looks at his watch*

PM: Well I suppose we better wrap it up. Thanks for being a part of the show CJ, I’m sure the public will find it… enlightening.

*Piers stands up to leave*

CJ: Hang on, that’s it? But we’ve only filmed 10 minutes!

PM: Oh I know. We just fill the rest of the show with me banging on about irrelevant stuff and some stupid adverts of talking meerkats.

CJ: Well at least come and play a game with me.

*Piers thinks about it for a minute*

PM: Fine… What do you want to play?

CJ: Well I bought these toys before from a shop. There called “matches” or something like that…

*CJ brandishes a box of matches*

Shining Light
02-17-2012, 02:27 PM
And look! They light up too!

*CJ lights one of the matches and Piers nervously looks at it*

PM: CJ, I suggest you put that away before anything happens

CJ: Nothing will happen… Here, want a hold of it?

*CJ moves towards Pier but he slaps the match out of his hand. The match falls to the floor and sets fire to some of the wires lying around. The audience begin to scream as the flames grow bigger and bigger*

Aww Piers! Now look what you’ve done!

PM: Oh my God… Somebody call 999!

*Piers begins to run around the room screaming. CJ just stands there, wondering what all the fuss is about*

CJ: Look Piers, if you’re going to yell at the flames, you have to get closer. It can’t hear you with all the audience screaming.

*CJ pushes Piers closer to the fire. He stumbles, falls into it and begins to roll around on fire. CJ starts to laugh at Piers*

Oh Piers… You’re such a twat. Well, bout’ time I start hitting the old dusty trail.

*CJ heads to the door, leaving the whole studio in flames*

Shining Light
02-17-2012, 02:30 PM
So that's that and I'm done :)

I won't hog many fillers as I'm quite full now *Rubs stomach*

I just want to end by saying that I honestly hope Christian returns at EC. I do not want to see Santino in the Chamber, despite my odd fantasies about him becoming World Champion

02-17-2012, 04:13 PM
We will ignore the spoilers there Shining - as lucky for you WWE.com already ruined it.

I will say I hope that John Cena vs Kane ISN'T the main event


Shining Light
02-17-2012, 05:40 PM
We will ignore the spoilers there Shining - as lucky for you WWE.com already ruined it.

I will say I hope that John Cena vs Kane ISN'T the main event


Dayyuuummm... My bad :p

Stole another filler, I get a bit peckish at night ;)

02-18-2012, 03:20 PM
Well it is time to write my fillers.

The EWA Top 15 will be posted once I've written the show (Which I'm improving. This should be easy :cool:)

Don't forget to get your promos/speeches for my fillers :)

02-18-2012, 03:20 PM



02-18-2012, 03:21 PM
Okay finally filler. (Another great filler...Please send speeches)

02-18-2012, 03:42 PM
Episode 4

Theme Song:
Right Here, Right Now - FatBoy Silm


The time has come for another episode of Point of Convergence. We have another great interview coming up and this time it is with the new signing of Jacob Cass!

Thanks. It is truly great to be selected for this and I've been excited to do this for quite some time.

Wow, really?

Well...Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?

So far every person who has been on has hated being here.

Nah man. That ain't me.

DJ has a wide smile on his face and freezes in place. Suddenly this song starts playing.

(Play the song whilst looking at the pictures.)

Brad Pitt as DJ

Fat Bastard as Jacob Cass. Hey!

02-18-2012, 04:13 PM
Sean Connery as CJ

Velvet Sky as Barbie

Monkey D. Luffy as Mr. One Piece

The Green Men as comedy

Are you going to keep doing this Naked Gun joke?

O-oh...My bad. Sorry. I couldn't stop watching them all day yesterday when I wrote my questions on a napkin.
Anyway. For all of those who don't know. This is Jacob Cass. He was with WWE for quite a while and in the short time of being there he accomplished quite a bit. But we will get into that shortly.

First question to you Jacob, is what got you into the Wrestling business?

Well, in all honesty. A joke did. You see I was 1 of those people who took the piss out of this business and me and my friends did a dare of joining a wrestling school when we were quite drunk. Long story short. I ended up gaining a lot of respect for every wrestler and decided to do it as a job. I mean, I was unemployed at the time so why not. I ended up truly loving this business.

I see, unique entrance no doubt. How did you sign up for WWE then?

They scouted a few of us from this small indy company and I accepted. I went to FCW to train in their style of wrestling and 3 years later I made it into the big stage.

This is where you true accomplishments began yes?

I guess so. I won NXT and helped Rey Mysterio beat the snot into a few of the ex-NXT superstars at Survivor Series.

Your biggest role was in the WWE vs. WCW storyline though correct, how did that feel?

In a word. Amazing. Sure, I was the runner-up in the Royal Rumble, nearly won the Elimination Chamber to become World Heavyweight Champion, upon apon a time a #1 contender for the WWE Championship too. I may have lost at WrestleMania too but I headlined it. Which is a truly great honour that not a lot of people can say. Especially in EWA.

Although I didn't accomplish any of these, I did more then anyone who had been in the company for less than half a year and I did save WWE from the smelly WCW haha.

Who in WWE was your biggest role model then?

None of the current people. I mean, Rey took me under his tattoo'd wing for a while and he is great. But Chris Benoit was and still is my true role model.

He would give every performance 100% regardless of turnout and he gave so much to this business. I know his story ends badly but I remember Chris Benoit the wrestler then what happened outside the ring. (HINT HINT HINT!)

02-18-2012, 05:05 PM
So what happened after that storyline?

Sadly I injured my ribs, ankle and neck area in certain spots in that match. The suicide dive into the steel cell for example. Injuries seem to be my downfall really. I was scheduled to win the WWE Championship at the next PPV but couldn't get cleared for months. History repeated itself really. I was scheduled to win the FCW Heavyweight Championship but then I was out for 10 months with a bad ACL knee injury.

Anyhoo, When I came back I was doing okay but my momentum was gone and a few months after I was jobbing on superstars and I was the first eliminated superstar in the following Royal Rumble and after I wasn't even on the following WrestleMania card I didn't renew my contract.

Christ, I'm sorry to hear about that. By the way...Do you know you sound EXACTLY like Austin Aries?

Yeah, I get that a lot.

So why come to EWA?

Why not? The fan base here reminds me of WWE. Very loyal and loyalty means a lot to me. EWA had a very bad start with management being all over the place. Certain people not doing anything useful and creative switching a lot. But thanks to certain people backstage it has become quite a big EFed in such a short amount of time as well!

What do you hope to do whilst in EWA?

Only 1 thing. Perform at my very best.
You hear a lot of people say things such as "I am the best in the world!", "I am the best this company has to offer!" and "I cannot be beaten, I am unstoppable and I will become champion forever cause no-one can beat me". I see this and I'm like "Yeah, fucking right...".
Confident is a good thing, arrogance isn't. Sure. No doubt they're probably good at certain things or spots. But all have major weaknesses. I won't say stupid claims like that. Because who would be stupid enough to believe people like that. They've beaten Randomy McIndyDude. So? I've beaten Rey Mysterio, Big Show, Kevin Nash, Vader, Booker T and Animal all in the same match...Big whoop.

I will give 100% of my ability in the ring and try to put on an amazing performance the EWA universe will love and remember.

Care to give us your top 5 of everyone in EWA?

I will indeed:

5th - Ivanhoe Heskey - Great to team up with. Funny guy.
4th - Smoggie - I like his mysteriousness and can't wait for his debut
3th - Hanz Gruber - Although his attitude stinks. He is very talented.
2nd - Mike "Mayhem" Hawk - Teamed up with him as well. I see a bright future for him.
1st - Rob Rage - Great wrestler. I can't wait until he wins the EWA Fury Heavyweight Championship off Kidd.

02-18-2012, 06:03 PM
You mentioned finishers. What is your finisher?

My finisher is Argentine Rack DDT - The Final Chapter. But my secret weapon is A superkick called Finest hour. You don't know when it comes haha.

Time for the quick fire round! WhichBrandAreYouGoingToBeAPartOf?!

Which brand are you on. So viewers can see you perform?

Ah. Well I dunno yet. I'm on Carnage for now and I'm happy to be there. I may appear on Fury or Pain but it is creative's choice.

This may be slight off topic here. But CJ demanded I asked you this for some reason.
What's your favourite Veggie?

Not gunna lie. I am a major mark for Carrots. Can't beat a bit of Carrot.

Yeah! Good choice. Thanks for not freaking out about my random questions.

I don't mind. I expected a few random ones in here.

Well I have 1 more serious question for you.

Okay then.

You're in the fatal 4-way match for the EWA Carnage Heavyweight championship. The winner gets a pass to the semis. Are you confident?

It'll be tough. Mike Hawk seems to be very good, definitely 1 to watch for the future. Ivanhoe knows how to get the job done and Carlos will stoop to very low levels to get the job done. Plus me being arguably the biggest threat due to my accomplishments may mean they could team up on me. But I see it as a 25% chance of winning for all of us. So anything can happen and probably will happen. I'm just going to give it my all and hope for the best.

Good tactic. Okay well thank you for your time.

No problem DJ. It has been fun.

Well this has been P.o.C #4. I hope you enjoyed the interview and will join my next time when I will have:


Another interview! With:


Someone else!

02-18-2012, 08:09 PM
EWA Top 15

1st - Dingo - New entrant -

The dingo has been incredibly active since the last P.o.C. Liked the discussion page on facebook, IC work has been great and has ran away with it this time.

2nd - Amadeus Frewin - New entrant -

Big impact created already by this wrestler. A contract signing and appearance on Carnage along with good IC work gains him 2nd.

3rd - Johnny Hot - New entrant -

Nearly got Iva the backstage interviewer in the top 15 by just kissing her. Powerful words in his interview and great IC work by him.

4th - Donnatello Jackson (DJ) - Was 9th -

First entrant back in the top 15. Although he keeps getting his ass beaten up, he continues to IC and ask questions we want answered.

5th - Van Hooligan X - Was 6th -

The cocky sportsmen IC'd as well as advertising EWA in his sig gets in just inside the top 5.

6th - Smoggie - New entrant -

Liking the EWA show thread and discussion page and a speech promo last show with a hint of IC'ing gains The Smog Monster 6th.

7th - Christopher Jackson (CJ) - Was 2nd -

Drops to 7th but gets a solid position in the top 15 mainly do to mentions and a bit of IC'ing. His life stories helped him too.

8th - Barbie Panzer - Was 1st -

The most over female drops down a bit. But I'm sure she can bounce back.

9th - Mike Muir - Was 7th -

Discussing EWA related things and a bit of IC'ing and mentions pulls Mike into 9th.

10th - Alex Kidd - New entrant -

Advertising EWA, IC work, Mentions, Recruiting and discussions. He did a bit of everything and that gains him 10th.

11th - Gaileo - New entrant -

Good discussions from him get him 11th. Will he be able to move higher?

12th - Jacob Cass - Was 4th -

IC work, an interview and a few mentions places Cass 12th. Big drop from last week.

13th - Turnes' tag team - New entrant -

Their IC work paid off! Both of them team up to get 13th. Hey it's a start at least.

14th - Noah Phillips - Was 8th -

The ever changing personality of Noah puts him 14th.

15th - Dave "The Gunner" Steele - New entrant

Gunner just gets into the top 15 list. Can he stay inside the top 15?

02-26-2012, 12:02 AM
filler number 1

more to come, actually a few more, I thought I would just do the first one to bump the page up so it would be on the front page for Rob when he post Fury

02-26-2012, 02:27 AM
filler number 1

more to come, actually a few more, I thought I would just do the first one to bump the page up so it would be on the front page for Rob when he post Fury

That's a very good idea Michael

I shoot on all your candy asses

Filler Number 2

03-04-2012, 06:01 AM
Time for the fillers

03-04-2012, 06:02 AM
Our mystery guest is still having problems, so I've decide to post the show anyway and edit in the part I'm still yet to receive when I get it

03-04-2012, 06:03 AM
You've waited long enough, so without further ado...

03-04-2012, 06:20 AM
EWA Fury Episode 7


EWA Fury Theme Song: Hollywood Undead “Young” (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ksq135WVHUo)

*The Liverpudlian Crowd are going absolutely ape as we go live*

Herb: Hello and welcome to EWA Fury emanating from Liverpool England, home of the Beatles, the Albert Dock and the best football club in the world (fact) Liverpool FC

Rich: You ass kisser, you’re only writing that because our COO supports them

Herb: He writes for me what am I supposed to do? If I piss him off he’ll write me off. Anyway, moving back into kayfabe, we’re going to go straight to the almighty GM, Wacko Jacko!

*CJ wakes up and blinks his eyes. He slowly gets up and looks around. He is still in the Hospital, which is going around it's day to business*

CJ: Excuse me... Nurse!?

*A Nurse walks over to his bed*

N: Yes Mr Jackson?

CJ: You wanna tell me why I'm here?

N: Don't you remember? You fell 50 feet out of a Helicopter and landed on a man named Horus Black

*CJ punches the air*

CJ: Yes! Take that you twat! But hang on... if I fell from 50 feet, how come I'm not dead?

N: You really think that Rob would write off one of the most over characters in EWA?

CJ: Who's Rob?

N: Nobody

CJ: Are you sure? He sounded like somebody...

N: He's nobody...

CJ: Ok then... Who are them flowers from? *He indicates a large bunch of flowers on his bedside cabinet*

N: Oh there from the Queen, she left a message saying "Call me soon, missing you already"

*CJ punches the air again*

CJ: Oh yeah baby! Once you've gone for Jack, they always wanna come back!

*He gets out of bed*

Alright, now somebody call my Momma! I'm...

N: I love that song!

CJ: What? No no no, I want you to call my Mother. I need her to come pick me up

*He grabs hold of her and begins to shake her up and down*

ARE... YOU... OK!?

N: I'm fine but I suggest that you don't leave yet. The Doctor needs...

CJ: Screw the Doctor! I'm heading back to EWA!

*He walks out the door humming "I Get Knocked Down*

Herb: Dudurdedudedur… Super CJ! I look forward for to him getting here, it’s been weird without him

Rich: Herb, he’s in Manchester, we’re in Liverpool, the shows only two hours long and there is fucking snow everywhere, he ain’t getting here

Herb: Bullshit, he’s getting here tonight, mark my words

It’s the PAIN! GM (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vmI7vbg69tk)

Herb: What’s he doing here?

Horus Black makes his way onto the ramp to a chorus of boos. He’s wearing his signature jet black suit, tie and trousers with white shirt and dark sunglasses.

Herb: Who wears sunglasses indoors?

Rich: Horus Black

Herb: *sighs* It was rhetorical Rich

Horus walks down the ramp and into the ring and demands a mic

Horus: Faster next time! That is, if you want to keep your job.

*He surveys the arena before saying in an undertone* What a disgusting city *now talking normally* Liverpool, you are now being graced by the presence of not only the PAIN! general manager and interim Fury general manager, but also the greatest man who has ever had the misfortune to step foot in your pitiful excuse for a settlement. Then again, there really wasn’t really much to beat. My name is Horus Black, and don’t any one of you forget it. I am pulling the strings here, and don’t I know it. Last week-

Horus is interrupted by the music of this superstar (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uDd16QVdBAA)

The home country favourite comes out to an almighty ovation. He’s smiling his face off as he walks out onto the ramp to a noise ala CM Punk MitB. When the noise finally dies down a bit, he begins to speak

Rob: Last week I showed you just how great Britain truly is, and don’t you forget that! *Pop tastic* You threw more hurdles at me than the grand national and I not only overcame them, I went on to win the mother fuckin’ race.

Horus: A-

Rob: SHUT THE FUCK UP BEFORE I GET IN THAT RING AND BEAT YOUR ASS MORE THAN WE BEAT THE GERMANS! You’re on my show, in my country, so you speak when I SAY! Until then, zip it.

We started the show off with him in the ring? Aw hell no! I’m going to do what should have started this show off, not some shit from Horse Back. So here goes. EWA, welcome to LIVERPOOL! *Poptastic* Home of the best football team in the world, and I sure as hell don’t mean Everton *mixed reaction* Oooo, split crowd. Sorry Blues, but just look at the title stats. But enough of this crowd splitting controversy; I’m supposed to be a face!

Now back to you blacky. I think it’s quite clear that you don’t like me, and to be quite frank, the feelings mutual. As long as you’re here on Fury, trying to exert authority you don’t have, I’m going to be a thorn in your side. One big ass thorn in your side, and if you thrash out, I may just cut your ballsack. Okay, that was a terrible analogy, but you get the point. Right, now I’m finished, so you can speak

*He thrusts the mic into Horus’ hand*

Horus: I’ll speak when I damn well want to! *Rob just raises an eyebrow and smirks*I am in charge here, not you! Last week I put you in a match for your number one contendership against Hanz.

Rob: Yep, the number one contendership that I had already one. Against him. And last week I won it again. Against him.

Horus: True as that may be, that match was riddled with interferences. With the most prominent one being a certain Christopher Jackson brutally attacking me. Now, it shows my determination to this company and downright heroicness that I’m still here while my assailant fails to show his-

Rob: *Interrupting in his best Mr. T voice* Quit your jibba jabba. You ain’t hurt. If I ever catch you acting like a crazy fool again, you gon meet ma friend PAIN! *Back to normal* CJ fell fifty foot out of a helicopter and grazed you on the way down.

Horus: I am in charge here, and you will respect that! Now due to the interference in that match, tonight I am making a rematch, again for your number one contendership

Rob: *Super sarcasm*Oh no! You mean I have to beat Hanz yet again. How the hell am I going to do that

Horus: Who says you’re facing Mr Gruber?

Rob: I don’t care who I’m facing. I’ll beat anybody one on one here in this ring. You can throw anybody in front of me.

Horus: Who said it was going to be one on one? Tonight you will defend your number one contendership in a tag match against the Hanz Gruber and the World Champion Alex Kidd.

Rob: And my partner?

Horus: *chuckles* That’s your choice

Rob: *feigning panic* Oh no! Oh no! What am I to do? I mean it’s not like I have a mate who is currently feuding with Hanz is it?

Horus: Ah, that’s where you’re wrong again. You will not be able to choose Michael the Archangel, as he is already booked for the show tonight

*That wipes the smile off Rob’s face as Black walks past him and to the back.Rob stands there for a few moments, biting his lip, then suddenly it’s as if a light bulb goes off*

Rob: Fear not guys, I’ve got a backup plan

Herb: Wow, what a blockbuster main event

Rich: Rob’s luck has finally run out. He’s losing the number one contendership tonight

Herb: Maybe, but I wouldn’t be so sure. Time for a commercial

<<<Commercial Break>>>

03-04-2012, 06:37 AM
We return and the camera shows the Turnes in the back

Luke: Last week Two of A Kind, you tried an attack on Broc. Broc is one of the most respected wrestlers in this company - and last week - you spit in the face of respect. You spit in the face of all that EWA stands for. In the short time EWA's been around - you've disrespected everyone in the locker room. And everyone in the locker room want's to kick some sense into you and Van Hooligan X. If you remember - we still got a title shot coming up. At Untamed Khaos, we will not only kick your ass, we will take your titles. And if you don't like that


Luke: But on to tonight. Tonight I will go one on one with G-Scorp - which we know he doesn't like that


Luke: And Rob will be facing the big scary Killa - who is obviously nothing like his name


Luke: Killa - last week we kicked your and Douglas Blake's ass all over England. This by the way is easily better than America. And tonight - Rob will drop you with a Bad Turne. And after tonight when we're done - will make sure we do Brandon a favour

Herb: Well they’re sure motivated, but they don’t have too much singles experience. I wonder how this one will pan out

Rich: Easy peasy lemon squeezy, KiLLA is winning here

And here they come (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yF5w32W-o7I&)

Herb: I wouldn’t be so sure. Any funny business from KiLLA and Luke Turne will be there to help out his brother

The KiLLA (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rRbJS7AYEvc&)

Rich: What makes you think KiLLA will need to resort to “funny business”. He’s facing two talentless jobbers

Herb: They beat The Panzer Division

Rich: Fluke!

Herb: According to you half the matches here in EWA are flukes


*watch up to 10:37*

Herb: Backslide from Rob!


Rich: I’ve never actually seen a


Rich: Blackslide win a match


Rich: Shit!

Herb: Well you cursed that one

Rob Turne immediately bails from the ring and runs up the ramp, celebrating the win with his brother with his brother. KiLLA is livid, and starts to argue with the ref


Ref: He pinned you, get over it

KiLLA then nukes the ref with a huge right hand

KiLLA: I Can't believe I just lost to a turde a damned turde, (breathing hard)....my momz use to say try not to step on shit on da way home..cuz u never look down Killa U Neva look downa.... momz I'm sorry I'm on top of my game and I haven't been lookin down..I juz gotta scrape this shit off my feeet .... but not before I finish stompin this bitch into dust, What happens when a killa snaps........Anybody is eligible to get mudered..ima bout to catch a case y'all know ima level this prick juz like brandy medieros ya saw how I leftem I gave hima Broken Eythang!.. .. Turde that was Fluke win and u kno it R-Turde, And its gonna get u nowhere ,not at all R-Turde ....Yo Let's Let the Ring Ropes bounce u back into my fist non-stop cuz as soon as I see u I'm breakin yo face..its a rap.Rapsheet gon get longer Time to Scribble yo name down on it..yeaaa..Revenge is The Sweetest Thing Next to Gettin Pussy and I'm Gettin Mines...Death is Knockin at Yo Door!...

As the ref is getting back up, KiLLA launches the mic at him, hitting him square in the face. KiLLA then exits the ring and stalks back up the ramp

Herb: I would not want to get in his way with him in this mood

Rich: True shit there my friend, especially if your name is Turne. Time to take another commercial break.

<<<Commercial Break>>>

03-04-2012, 06:38 AM
Ashley: Ok, I am back here with the Panzers, Karl, Oli and Barbie in their dressing room. Karl, you are facing Roberto in the second match of the series that Horus set up. After what happened last week, I am sure you have some payback in mind.

Karl: Ha ha, payback? More like I am gonna kill that motherfucker for hurting Barbie. Nobody lays a finger on her, nobody.

Barbie: Well Karl, truth be told, there are a few guys in this fed I would be ok with them touching me, but in a sexual way. But when I am out in the arena managing you guys, nobody, I mean nobody better fuck with me.

Karl: And just who are those guys?

Barbie: Now, now Karl, I am a grown women.

Karl: True, it’s none of my business. But if any of those guys treat you wrong, try to hurt you, then you best come to Oli or myself.

Barbie: I will, don’t worry.

Ashley is just standing there taking this all in.

Oli: Karl, Ashley is waiting on your answer.

Karl: Right, sorry Ashley.

Ashley: That’s quite alright, you guys are just looking out for your sis, please continue.

Karl: What happened last week was uncalled for. Like I said, that motherfucker Roberto will pay tonight. Last week was probably his first time touching a women and I will make sure it will be the last time he touches one. I am gonna break his fingers off one by one. After that, I will break his jaw so the EWA viewers will never have to hear one of his stupid promos with his brother Uterus, Uglyass, Lulioso, or whatever the fuck his name is.

Oli: Regardless of whatever his name is, he will witness his brothers demise tonight and there is not one fucking thing he can do about it.

Barbie: Ok guys; let’s go over our game plan for the match. And Ashley, you must tell me where you got those shoes- they look so cute.

Ashley: Ok, we will talk later.

Rich: I would not want to be in Roberto’s shoes here tonight

Herb: I dunno Rich, you know what they say an angry fighter is a sloppy fighter

Rich: And an angry Panzer makes a dead Pamich

Here comes Roberto accompanied by his brother Uliose (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Jl7-B7VFLs)

Uliose: Last week we sent a message

Roberto: Well you sent a message last week Uliose

Uliose: and tonight it’s your turn to send that message

Roberto: and tonight the best of three series match will turn to the best of il cattivo, Karl Panzer.... you definitely have a load of confidence and to be a part of the EWA thats exactly what you need but i just wonder?????? did last week take a bit of the sting out of your confidence

Uliose: I couldnt agree more brother, Oli is definitely the weak link in the Panzer armour and that is why you are going to win tonight because Karl knows a win tonight wont make a difference to the result as he has to team with his loser brother if they want the series win and i showed last week he just cant get the job done

Roberto: So tonight we are going to take of Karl and who knows, we might have a party next week to cellebrate

Together: Because losing isnt winning, Il Cattivo is winning

Herb: The pressures really off Il Cattivo here, they only need to win one of the next two matchups between these teams to win the series, while the Panzer Division now need 100% success

Rich: Last week was a fluke, the Panzer Division will level up the score here tonight

And here come the Panzers (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Zym9N-I5F4)

Karl runs down the ramp accompanied by Oli and Barbie, the bell rings and we’re under way


Rich: I hate to say I told you so, but I told you so! It’s now one all in the series

Herb: That’s right Rich. These two great teams will clash one more time in the series next week, with the winners, well, winning. It’s strange to think that all these matches are just to pick the stipulation for the match that actually matters

Rich: The winners of the series will have a real advantage though. Think about it, a ladder match would be right in the wheelhouse of Il Cattivo’s speed and quickness, while a LMS match would favour the beatdown style the Panzer Division.

Herb: Good analysis Rich, I’m impressed. Wait, what the hell, The Panzers are continuing the beatdown

As Uliose climbs into the ring to help his brother, his leg is grabbed from the outside by Barbie.

Uliose manages to kick off Barbie but is then met by a boot to the head from Oli, knocking him back out of the ring back into the guardrail

Rich: Now there really is no need for this!

Herb: Now there rea- Wait, what?

Rich: I was seeing if it sounded any better when I said it. It doesn’t.

Karl is still pounding on Roberto with some clubbing forearm blows while shouting “You vant to hurt mein sister, ja? You going to have to pay consequences!”

Karl lifts Roberto to his feet, holding his arms behind his back still screaming at the Italian in German

Herb: Come on, leave him alone

Rich: He beat up his sister, wouldn’t you do the same

Oli walks up to the younger Pamich, and starts laying in some huge body blows, right then left repetitively. After about twenty, and at this point it looks like Roberto is close to throwing up, he finishes with a big knee to the gut

Barbie now walks up to Roberto, while Oli knocks Uliose off the apron again with another boot to the face.

Barbie: Nothing personal sweetie

*She then looks thoughtful before spitting right into the face of Roberto*

Barbie: Actually it is *she then slaps the face off of Roberto, leaving a huge red mark on his face*

Herb: Ouch

Karl then whips Roberto’s near limp body into the ropes, and as he bounces off he is met by the Guten Nacht double big boot from the two Panzer Division members

Rich: Message sent. You do not mess with the Panzers, especially not Barbie

Herb: That was brutal. Truly brutal. Next week we’ll see the final and deciding match of the series, but now, it’s time for another commercial break

<<< Commercial Break>>>

03-04-2012, 06:55 AM
Backstage cameras show HOS in the back

HOS: Yeah ok straight of the bat I have been on a bit of a downer so to speak and yes Blake has had the upper hand so I decided to review my amateur videos and see what I was doing wrong and technique wise, it’s all the same, ring sense is all the same then I realised it’s my emotions.... so at Untamed Khaos Blake, I’m going to take care of you and tonight ill show why.


Rich: Lol, what a fail

Herb: Shut up Rich. I’m just getting a message through. Bear with… Ah, right, okay. Sorry about that. Right, so basically HOS vs. Douglas Blake was just booked for Untamed Khaos, and it will be a number one contendership match for the TV title.

Rich: Okay, so basically it will be G-Scorp vs. Douglas Blake at the PPV after that

Herb: It’s a possibility Rich, it’s a possibility. We’re now going to cut to a camera which has caught up with our number one contender searching for a tag partner for tonight

Rob Rage is pacing up and down a corridor in the back

Rage: *Muttering under his breath* Partner, partner, partner, partner, partner, partner, partner, partner, partner, partner, partner, partner, partner, partner, partner, partner, partner, partner, partner *talking normally now* Ah-ha! Of course, why didn’t I think of Harry before?

*He picks up his phone and dials Harry Richards’ number*

Hello… Hi Harry, it’s me. Look, I’m not sure if you’ve been watching the show tonight but I’m in need of a tag partner, and wondered if you were available… What? You’re in Wales? Why the hell are you in Wales? ... You’re seeing a man about a sheep? Look what you do in your free time in non of my business, all I want to know is can you make it… No, fine. That’s all I wanted to know. Don’t worry, I’ll find somebody. See you soon mate. Bye.

*He hangs up then looks towards the camera* A sheep? Really?

Rich: Well that went well. He’s losing his number one contendership here tonight

Herb: I wouldn’t be so sure. I mean, we’re in his home country, I’m sure he’ll be able to find someone

It’s the number one contender to the TV Title (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cBqT3CoXoDM)

G-Scorp makes his way to the ring a little agitated

G-Scorp: Luke Turne, don’t worry about him that’s an easy win for the ever conquering G-Ster

Crowd: Booooooooooooo

G-Scorp: Did you know a Tomato is a fruit?

Crowd: What

G-Scorp: and the sun will rise up tomorrow

Crowd: What

G-Scorp: and we are made of over 65% water

Crowd: What

G-Scorp: Sorry I got side-tracked cause you idiots booed at the first fact so i threw a few more at you ignorant wrestling fans

Crowd: You Suck

G-Scorp: Well here’s another fact, roll the footage geeks...

*Footage is shown of last week’s attacks*

G-Scorp: That was footage from last week although it could have been footage from any other week considering the domination I have shown over the guy who can’t even spell his name right, its Phoenix not Phenix, these crowds can’t even get their signs right without you playing with them now spell check is going to fail them too

But not only is spell check going to fail at Untamed Khaos but Jack Phenix is going to fail because he can’t stop the G_thing from doing what he can only do and that’s beat you week after week because this is 2012: The year of the Scorp

And here comes Luke with his brother Rob (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yF5w32W-o7I&)

Herb: This is a big match here for the Turnes momentum wise. A win will give them the upper hand against TOAK, while a loss will put them on the back foot


*watch up until 9:42*

Herb: And G-Scorp throws Luke Turne out of the ring all the way to the floor

Rich: If I was Luke, I just wouldn’t get back into the ring, it’s only going to end badly

Herb: Well that’s why you’re a commentator not an athlete Rich

Rich: It’s also why I’m still alive

As the ref leans out of the ring to check on Luke, G-Scorp pulls a pair of knuckle dusters out of his tights and slips them on

Herb: Do the refs not check this guy’s tights? I mean, this isn’t exactly the first time it’s happened

Rob Turne quickly jumps into the ring and tries to grab the knuckle dusters off of G-Scorp, but G-Scorp manages to push him back into the ropes and on the rebound hits a huge knuckleduster haymaker to him, knocking him out cold and causing him to fall between the bottom and middle ropes and out of the ring

Rich: *winces* Ouchie

As G-Scorp turns back around the ref sees the knuckle dusters on his hand and pulls them off of him

Herb: Well thankfully that didn’t ruin this great match

G-Scorp is arguing with the ref as Luke climbs up onto the apron

Luke jumps up and springboards off of the top rope


Herb: Wow! What a manoeuvre

After that great move, Luke looks to continue his momentum by climbing to the top rope

Herb: He could be going for his finisher; the Turne Elbow Drop

Rich: He hits this and it could well be over… But I’m sure the G-Thang will move, he’s just that kind of guy

Herb: Say wha?

As Luke is climbing to the top, KiLLA begins sprinting down the ramp towards the ring. As Luke gets to the top and is just about to dive off, KiLLA springs up onto the apron and pushes Luke Turne off, causing him to land face first on the barricade

Herb: Well it seems I spoke too soon, the match was ruined

The ref immediately calls for the bell but that doesn’t deter KiLLA one bit. He moves over to where the wreck from the crash between Turne and barricade was and lifts him up and bodyslams his back onto the barricade

Rich: Wait for it…

While Luke is still draped over the barricade KiLLA knees him straight in the head

Rich: Wait for it…

Herb: Oh come on, there is no need for this

Rich: There you are!

Herb: Look, I know I get a little repetitive

Rich: Understatement of the year

Herb: But this sort of thing really annoys me. I mean, wrestling should be about in ring competition, pitting one man against another in a supreme test of athleticism, not some way for thugs to vent their anger

Suddenly we notice that Rob Turne has made his way back to his feet inside the ring. He runs the ropes and hits a sick suicide dive onto KiLLA


Herb: Yeah, that’s more like it! Show him that interference is not the way forward.

Rich: Hold your horses Herbie; just wait till Rob turns around

He does

And is met by another knuckle duster shot to the head, knocking him out for the second time tonight

Herb: God dammit, hellfire and brimstone!

Rich: You crazy mo’fo

G-Scorp then picks up Luke Turne and rolls him into the ring and screams “This one’s for you Phenix!”

G-Scorp hooks Luke up ready to hit the package piledriver and motions around his waist

Suddenly Jack Phenix bursts onto the entrance ramp and sprints down towards the ring

Rich: What? He’s not supposed to be here!

G-Scorp sees Phenix and quickly hits a quick Package Piledriver. He then bails out of the ring just as Phenix jumps in, jumps over the guardrail and runs through the audience leaving a scene of carnage behind him. Phenix is standing in the ring and staring a hole through G-Scorp

Herb: Wow, G-Scorp really wasn’t expecting Phenix here tonight

Rich: Didn’t make a difference though, did it? G-Scorp still laid everybody out

Herb: Except Phenix

Rich: That’s because he wants him able to compete at Untamed Khaos so he can become TV Champion. Jesus, do I have to explain everything to you? That’s rhetorical by the way, everyone knows the answer is yes. Time for a commercial

<<<Commercial Break>>>

03-04-2012, 07:02 AM
We come back from commercial and Michael the Archangel is standing in the middle of the ring with a mic in his hand

Michael: So Horus Black just likes to fuck everyone over just for his own penis jerking pleasure huh? Rob Rage needs a partner and I can't be there to help a friend in need because I already have a match? Fine Rob I know you don't need a partner to beat Kidd and Gruber but I need to know NOW who I am facing. I don't care if it's Croft's Limited or a local jobber or if it's Horus Black himself! I need to know NOW so whoever you are get your ass out here so I can send you home crying to your father so he sodomize you as he wishes.

Ask and thou shalt receive. It’s Gerald Croft accompanied by Brutus Smith (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CU5x26gAKQg&)

Croft: *chuckling* Michael, Michael, Michael. I understand your need to attempt to impress us, but using long words only works if you understand their meaning. Fear not though, you managed to hang onto a vague resemblance of intelligence by actually managing to guess your opponent. I guess if you give enough monkeys enough paintbrushes…

*Croft walks up the ring steps and steps through the ropes as Smith holds them open before following over the top rope*

As I said you managed to guess your opponent for tonight. Unluckily for you, you will not be facing a local jobber, and somebody the likes of our esteemed GM Horus Black would not waste his times on the likes of you. You have been a thorn in the side of Croft’s Limited since its inception. You have cost Hanz Gruber numerous title shots by lowering yourself to illegal tactics and interference, as well as assaulting members of our elite ring repeatedly. I will stand for it no more! Tonight it ends. You WILL face Croft’s Limited, and you will pay!

Michael: Brilliant, exactly what I wanted to hear. *walks past Croft to the ropes on the entrance side of the ring* Gruber, get your ass out here

Croft: My dear boy you misunderstand me *clicks his fingers*

Brutus Smith nukes him from behind knocking him down. He then pulls his suit, tie and shirt off, and begins pounding on Archangel

Croft: You will be facing my personal Butler, Brutus Smith *he leaves the ring and the bell rings*


*watch from 3:30-8:29*

Rich: WHAT! NO!

Herb: Yes! Gerald interfered once too often and it came back to bite him. He’s been ejected from ringside

Rich: I have never seen such biased officiating

Herb: Oh fuck off

Brutus Smith spends valuable time arguing with the ref. By the time he realises it isn’t getting anywhere, Michael is back to his feet

He goes for a big running boot but Michael ducks and runs up to the ropes, springboards off and catches Brutus turning around with a FLYING SAVIORS WAY STO!!!!

Rich: Shitttt




Herb: Hell yeah! Take that Croft’s Limited

*Rich mutters something about biased officiating*

*Michael, still breathing heavily motions for a mic*

Michael: ENOUGH! Enough is enough. Smith I kicked your ass, Croft get your ass out of here before I do the same. Hanz since day one you have been a pain you have been the discriminating bully that no one likes. Your jealousy has gone for far too long. You're jealous of whom I am and everything I stand for. I proved you wrong when I beat you for the number one contendership on the second episode of FURY but you wouldn't shut up. You decided to take it out on me. You say I won't amount to anything and that only my brothers Azrael and HolyJose have the talent. If you can't see it then let me show your hands on. Hanz you vs. me at Untamed Khaos. It ends then and I'll show you just how talented I am. Trust me the ass kicking you'll get you will never forget!

*Michael drops the mic and walks out*

Herb: Woah, that’s fighting talk right there. Will Hanz accept?

Rich: I hope he does, I can’t wait to see that cocky SOB get put in his place

Herb: My sentiments exactly, although I feel our meanings may be different. Our cameras have caught up with Rob again; let’s hope he’s having better luck than last time

Rich: Let’s not

We cut to Rob mid-way through a phone call

Rob: Yeah… Well I dunno if you’ve been watching the show mate, but I’ll put it to you straight. I badly need a tag team partner, and everybody else seems busy. I realise that you’re busy and all, and that you’ve never competed in EWA before, but as a fellow patriotic Brit, I thought you’d be just the man to call. So are you up for it?... Really?... Yeah, awesome mate, I’ll see you then. Be ready to whip ourselves some collective butt! *he hangs up*

Herb: A fellow Brit eh? I’ve got a feeling this crowd knows exactly who Rob was on the phone too, and I just know the crowd is going to love it.

Rich: Well if I’m thinking what you’re thinking, and I think I am, he won’t be much competition for the supreme combination of Kidd and Gruber, but then again, who would be?

Herb: Oh I’m sure he’d do just fine. Speaking of Gruber & Kidd, apparently we’ve got a camera on them right now

Croft, Gruber and Alex Kidd are sitting in Croft’s Limited’s private lockeroom as Brutus walks in looking dejected after his match. Gerald’s only reaction is to make a quiet tutting sound before turning to the camera and beginning to talk

Croft: Now wait just one moment Michael, you can’t just demand a match with Hanz at one of our biggest pay per views, you have to earn it.

Hanz: It’s all fine Gerald. Relax my friend. I am tired of hearing Michael bitch and moan about everything under the sun. I would have thought you would know where you stand Michael- at the end of the fucking line. But I will amuse you, I accept. Of course it will just be a warm up match as tonight this little guy *points to Alex* and I will…..

Alex: Little guy? I may be a little shorter than most guys here- but I am the World Champ. I have what everybody wants, I am…..

Hanz: Relax little man.

Alex: It’s World Champion *holds up his belt* to you Gruber.

Hanz: That’s Hanz to you. Ok, as I was saying Michael, our match at Untamed Khaos can just be a warm up match seeing that both Champ and I have a match tonight against Rob Rage and some random guy that is unlucky to be his partner. Both Alex and I will take Rage out tonight- we will make sure he will not make it to the pay per view. In fact, we will make sure that motherfucker never sets in a ring again, unless it’s to announce his retirement due to injuries.

Alex: And that will be a glorious day. Once we get Rage out of the way, I have promised Hanz a shot at my title in an upcoming show and Michael, there is not a god damn thing you can do about it. You already had your chance.

Alex: At Untamed Khaos, I will have it made. I will just get to sit back and enjoy the show. I will come to the ring and accept Rage’s forfeit. I will not even have to break a sweat.

Hanz: Well at least I will get to have a little fun that night. Michael I will see you in the ring, you just best wish you live to see another day. Ok guys, enough of this crap- let’s get ready for our match tonight. *camera cuts out*

Herb: No shortage of confidence there. We’re now going to take it to the back again, where we have a camera following Van Hooligan X

03-04-2012, 07:12 AM
*Van walks into Brocs locker room to see him getting ready for his match, Broc turns around and sees Van staring at him with a big cocky grin on his face*

Van: Hello Brocy-poo.

Broc: Well hello vanny-wanny. So, I see we have a match tonight? As a team? Well, this just isn't going to work, I mean even if we did work together, I would be the only one supporting the team

*Van quietly chuckles for a second*

Van: Yeah, sure. You can shine your ego however you like. Fact is tonight we face Two of a Kind. In a 1-on-1 match against either, we would destroy them. But in a tag match, it becomes a different story.

Broc: Okay Van, I see what you're getting at, I'm not gonna lie, I hate you. But the one thing that I hate more than anything, is losing. So, working together is our best option right now, regardless of if I'll be carrying the team, while you'll be a cheer leader. Either way, it'll be worth it to pick up the W.

Van: Beautiful, I'm glad you understand. We work together to get the 3 count and once the match is over we refocus to end this problem we both have at Untamed Khaos.

I want both of us as close to 100% as possible so neither of us has any excuses. I just hope you don't choke tonight like your Steelers did this year.

*Van quickly leaves Broc’s locker room whilst laughing*

Rich: I’m sorry, but as much as I like Van Hooligan X, this team just has no chance of beating the tri branded tag champions

Herb: For once I’m in agreement with you Rich. Alone all four of these men are world beaters, but while TOAK are probably the most decorated tag team in all of EWN, VHX and Broc are arch nemeses

The Tri Tag Team Champions make their way to the ring (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C--gpM2BIW8)

Kid: So it’s come to this has it?

Conrad: What

Kid: Just make up random teams and let us beat them

Conrad: But hang on Kid.... Broc is undefeated

Kid: WHAT?

Conrad: Yeah no one’s beat him

Kid: Umm I beat him last week remember.

Conrad: Yeah you did that’s right so why the hell would you put a team who kid destroyed one half of last week against us

Kid: I like it actually, They can’t be worse than Turnes so we can go half-hearted against them and if we lose we know we have to try next week, if we win well then we can just take it easy for a couple weeks you see.

Conrad: Fair enough i agree with you on these points so let’s bring out this mismatch team.........

Kid: Hang on dont bring them out yet

Conrad: Why?

Kid: Fuck your dumb sometimes you forgot our catchphrase

Conrad: Oh yeah

Together: Because we are Two of a Kind, We are the triple crown world tag team champs and WE MEAN BUSINESS....

VHX! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g2eHh4GcJMQ)

Herb: Well here comes Van Hooligan X, and he really doesn’t look happy with having to team with Broc here tonight

Rich: Well can you blame him? They’re involved in a blood feud and now they have to act together as a unit

Herb: Well, if he wants the win, then he’s going to have to get used to it

Brocalisious (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_zMEBf8i4wM)

Herb: And team with this guy. I agree with you though Rich, this most likely won’t end well for the makeshift team of Broc-HX

Rich: You made that up on the spot there didn’t you

Herb: Yep

Rich: You can tell


*watch from 5:19 until 13:15 and ignore the Corre*

Herb: Broc’s on a mother fuckin’ role!

Broc has Conrad up on his shoulders in a fireman’s carry position, but mad dog counters out with some elbows

Conrad then whips Broc into the ropes and on his return goes for a big boot, but Broc ducks and goes low, taking out Conrad’s knee

Rich: I’ve been really impressed by the teamwork of Broc-HX, they’ve been working real well together considering they’re feuding

Broc grabs Conrad’s leg and positions it on the bottom rope. He then springboards up and lands down with all his weight on the knee of the big man. He then repeats this process a coupler more times

Herb: Vicious! Paul Conrad’s knee has to be in complete agony

To capitalise on Conrad’s potentially injured knee, Broc slaps on a figure four leglock, attempting to go for the submission

Rich: As much as I hate to say it, this is real smart from Broc, Conrad could be about to give up

Conrad raises his hand to tap, but Wonder realises this, and springboards off of the top rope and lands on Broc with elbow drop, causing him to release the hold

Rich: Genius move there by Wonder, saving the match for his team

Van Hooligan then gets into the ring, and as Wonder gets back up he runs at him and clotheslines them both over the top rope to the outside

Broc and Conrad both get to their feet at about the same time, but Paul requires assistance from the ropes due to his bad knee

Broc runs in, but Conrad gets a boot up, knocking him back, and then follows up with a big lariat, knocking the Pittsburgh native down

Rich: Woah! Big impact lariat



Rich: Dammit he kicked out

Herb: There is still fight in Broc yet

Conrad pulls Broc up to his feet, but Broc shoulder rushes him into the corner and drives his shoulder into Paul’s midsection against the corner repeatedly

Broc then runs to the opposite turnbuckle but Conrad goes with him and nails a big corner clothesline on him, then takes a step back and as Broc staggers forward hits an overhead belly to belly release suplex

Rich: What a combination of moves

Herb: Yep, real impressive by one half of our tag champions

Instead of going for the cover, Paul pulls Broc back up and hooks him up fisherman’s style

Rich: I think I know what’s coming now

Van Hooligan X slides into the ring behind Conrad as he lifts Broc up and hits his finisher, the Conrad Crusher! (Fisherman’s Driver)

Rich: CRUSHER! It’s over!

Herb: But Van is right behind him, he’s obviously going to break up the cover


Van lifts his hands above his head double axe handle style as if he is going to break up the pin


But then a smile crosses the Hooligan’s face and he drops to the floor and rolls out of the ring leaving Broc to be pinned

3! Two of a Kind win

Rich: Whey! Who looks stupid now!

Herb: Well apparently this feud means more to Van than winning

Rich: Nevertheless another big win for the tag champs heading into their title match against The Turnes. Impressive stuff there from both teams, giving us a great match, even if the ending was cut short a bit

Herb: You just know Broc will be wanting revenge for this. It’s only a matter of time. Time for another commercial

<<<Commercial Break>>>

03-04-2012, 07:22 AM
*Mr McGiven is looking through some paperwork when his Office door flies open. In walks CJ and he is grinning from ear to ear*

MM: Jackson... your out of Hospital? I thought you were dead!

CJ: Aww, did that upset you?

MM: Of course not! On the contrary, I was quite happy to have you off my hands. This whole "Pedophilia case" has given EWA quite a bad reputation

CJ: I thought they agreed to drop all the charges though

MM: They did, but I'm still receiving a lot of bad publicity because of it

CJ: Oh... well Sir I apologize but I assure you that I am not a Paedo. I am an Artiste...

MM: What you are is a freak! And why are you staring at the window?

CJ: Sir... is that the Statue of Liberty?

*Mr McGiven turns around and sees one of the World's most famous landmarks*

MM: Yes...

CJ: And that's in America right?

MM: Yes...

CJ: And Fury is still on it's tour of England?

MM: Yes but I don't see the point in...


MM: You mean you’re not at the show? Dammit Jackson, I'm sick of you...

CJ: There's no time! I need to head back to England! I'll see ya later Sir!

*CJ runs out the room, a few seconds pass and then he pops his head back into the room*

CJ: Any chance of a lift?

Herb: Bu… But… But I thought that…

Rich: With the main event up next, it looks to me like Robby’s gonna lose that number one contenders position. What a tool

Herb: *speechless for a few seconds then manages to utter two letters* C… J…

And here comes the World Champion accompanied by his partner Hanz Gruber along with the rest of Croft’s Limited, and all four of them are smiling from ear to ear (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9SKFwtgUJHs&)

Rich: These guys look damn confident here, and they have a right to be. It’s going to be a massacre here tonight

Herb: If I’ve learned one thing about Rage in my time commentating in EWA, then it’s to NEVER, and I mean NEVER, count him out. No matter how far the odds are stacked against him, he’s never completely out of it… Though I have to agree, it does look grim

Rich: What are you talking about, it looks great

Here’s the Brit, and a bet on him would give a pretty good return right about now (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uDd16QVdBAA)

Rich: I don’t get why this guy is even coming out here. He may as well just forfeit

Herb: Rob’s a fighter Rich. Even if he’s going to lose, he’s going to make Hanz and Alex work for it

Rich: I’m sure they’ll enjoy it rather than see it as a chore

Kidd: *With a huge cocky grin on his face* What’s the matter Rage? Couldn’t find yourself a partner

Rob: Well… I…

*suddenly a huge smile breaks across his face as this music hits (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rQjh9H-ymK4&ob=av2e)*

<This was the part that our mystery guest (who you know know as Ma$$ Dinero) couldn't get to us. It was basically going to be the epic enterance from JBW's Ma$$ Dinero. I thought of writing it myself but I wouldn't do it justice, so as soon as I do get it, I'll edit it in and tell you guys to read it>

03-04-2012, 07:29 AM
*Start watching at 2:38*



*watch up to 9:05*

Rich: What a match this has been so far! Gruber is now stalking Rage, just waiting for him to get up

Herb: And thankfully Croft’s Limited is yet to get involved

As Rob groggily gets back to his feet Hanz leaps up going for a cutter but Rob manages top counter, pushing him away but the momentum sends him Ma$$, knocking him off of the apron

Then as Hanz turns around Rob meets him with a huge superkick, knocking him down. He then uses the last of his energy to hurl himself at his corner but Ma$$ is still getting back up after being knocked off the apron

Croft gets up on the apron to distract the ref, and Brutus Smith runs around to the opposite side of the ring and grabs Ma$$ off of the apron, just before he can make the tag, and hurls him into the security barrier, then lifts him back up and hurls him over the top of it, sending him careering into the ringside seats

Herb: It seems I spoke too soon

Realising that he’s not going to get a tag, Rob turns around to face Hanz again.

Rob makes the first move, going for a running clothesline but Hanz ducks

As Rob turns around Hanz goes for a superkick, but Rob ducks that and then spins out and attempts a roundhouse kick to Hanz’s head but again Hanz ducks and reaches a hand through Rob’s legs and goes for a rollup




Rich: Damn I though he had him

They both get to their feet at the same time. Hanz swings a fist but rope sidesteps and whips him into the ropes

After hitting the ropes Hanz goes for a running high knee but again Rob sidesteps and follows up with a huge high knee of his own to the back of Hanz’s head

However, before he can capitalise with a pin, Kidd springboards off the top rope and hits a clothesline top the back of Rob’s head knocking him down

Herb: Dammit, just when Rob got the advantage

Rich: Ma$$ should have been in there to stop it. It just shows Rob’s bad choice in partners

The ref then starts shepherding Kidd out of the ring but this gives Smith another opportunity to interfere. He runs over Ma$$, who is in the process of climbing back over the barricade, and delivers a big running boot, sending him right back over

Rich: Hanz and Kidd have got this in the bag

Herb: With this much interference, how could you not

Hanz manages to crawl over towards his corner and tag in Kidd, who struts into the ring, looking very nonchalant

He lifts up Rob into the piledriver position, and throws his arms out in his signature taunt

Rich: Time for a Styles Clash, briefly followed by a one two three

Rob however manages to pull the legs out and get a jacknife cover on the champ



Kickout! Right at the last second

Herb: By God how close was that!

They both spring to their feet but Alex Kidd quickly cuts him off with a perfectly placed dropkick

Rich: Well that was Rob’s last gasp, it’s all over now

Alex Kidd then stands back up, with a cockier smile than ever on his face and again hits his signature pose before climbing up to the top rope

Herb: Well you can guess what this is going to be

Rich: It’s going to be the best move in pro wrestling, the devastation 630 senton by the name of the King Senton!

Alex Kidd jumps off the top, turning the full 630 degrees and landing back first… on the mat! Rob managed to roll out of the way at the last second

Herb: Yes! There is still life in this match yet

Croft and Smith immediately jump up on the ring apron to distract the referee but Rob seems in no state to go for the cover anyway

Suddenly Horus Black with chair in hand begins running down the ramp

Herb: What! No, not like this

Then two more men run out in pursuit

Herb: What. Is that-

Rich: That’s EWA COO Roba

Herb: And… Holy shit that’s JBW CEO Kash Dinero!!!!!!!

Due to the fact that Roba and Kash aren’t carrying chairs (you try running with a steel chair in your hands) they quickly make ground on the PAIN! GM. Just before he reaches the ring Roba dives and grabs Horus by the legs causing him to fall and the chair goes flying

Horus gets back up to his knees, wondering what is going on. He looks up and sees Kash “Mother Fuckin’” Dinero standing over him.

MFWTLAAIGBWTBST from Kash! (Or “My Friend Went To London And All I Got Back Was The Blood Stained T-Shirt” knockout punch for those none Jabe viewers)

Herb: Bam! Horus is out

Rich: Why is Kash even out here?

Herb: His twin brother is being cheated in a match

Rich: Ah…

Meanwhile at ringside Croft and Smith are still distracting the ref.

Ma$$ slides into the ring and heads straight for them

MFWTLAAIGBWTBST to Brutus Smith sending him flying off the apron!!!

Gerald is just standing there with a face full of shock

Superkick from Rage to Croft!!!

Rich: Dammit this match has turned for the worse. Come on Kidd, you can turn it back

Alex Kidd goes for a double clothesline to the back of both Ma$$ and Rage, but they both duck

Kidd turns around


He’s out on his feet

Rage grabs him and hooks him in the Fisherman’s position

Rich: No, no, no, no, no!


Rich: Shit


Hanz gets into the ring to try and break it up




Herb: YEAH! They overcame the odds and Rob yet again retains his number one contendership

03-04-2012, 07:32 AM
Rich: They’d never have done it without Kash and Roba

Herb: They were only out there to counteract the interference of Croft, Smith AND Black! Speaking of which, Kash and Roba are now in the ring celebrating with their twins

Rich: And Roba has a mic… oh joy…

Roba: Wow, what a match. That truly embodied everything EWA is about. Well, maybe not the multitude of interferences, but you get what I mean.

You may be wondering why me and Kash over here are out here. Well, to tell you the truth Kash and I were conducting a business meeting regarding our two companies, and preparing for the announcement we had planned to give after the match. We had Fury on in the background and then all of a sudden we saw that both my twin brother Rob Rage and Kash’s twin Ma$$ Dinero were teaming together. We then saw Horus Black heading to the ring with a steel chair, and it sure as hell didn’t look like he was going to sit on it.

Now as the respective CEO’s and COO’s of our company, we generally try to remain as impartial as possible and rarely make an on screen appearance. However, Rage is my brother, and Ma$$ is Kash’s. It hurts to see them get hit by a chair shot, and as Horus wasn’t a participant in the match, we made a decision. We came out here, and took him out. Congratulations to Ma$$ and Rob for winning the main event after that by the way.

Now onto the real reason why we came out here. It regards the relationship between JBW-EWA. Now, we know you’re all not stupid, so you’ve probably heard about the relationship. We’re out here to clear everything up, and make it official as such.

First things first, EWA is not merging with JBW. EWA is completely independent, and that’s the way it’s going to be staying for the foreseeable future. EWA is not becoming a developmental farm for JBW either, EWA has talents from all over the world, some are employed also in JBW, some in EWNCW and some in HWA, while some are EWA exclusive. We are not going to restrict that, EWA is a place for talents from everywhere to meet and create great eFedding.

What EWA is and is going to be, for the lack of a better term, is a junior affiliate of JBW. Here’s how it will work:

1 – If JBW has talent that is wants to garner more experience in eFedding, they can come to EWA and do that, be it on a one time only basis, part time, or full time. JBW is such a big organisation, that it’s easy to get lost in. For people new to eFedding, being a part of both EWA and JBW will mean that they will gain twice as much experience, develop their character at twice the rate, and generally learn the ropes twice as quick. This will ensure they don’t get lost in the crowd

2 – Being affiliated with JBW, EWA will have the great opportunity to have certain JBW stars make appearances, such as what the great Ma$$ Dinero has done today. We could have visits from stars such as K-Jammin, Roman Flare, Psycho Siaki, St. George, Chainsaw, Samson, JMan, Rysuke Serra, The Prophecy, Zues Apollo, The Alpha Dog, Holy Jose and many many more. Hopefully Ma$$ will be the first of many

3 – Last but not least, if an EWA talent decides they want to make the jump into JBW, they will receive a report from me to Kash outlining their strengths and weaknesses. Think of it as a CV. This will mean that JBW will know your talent level and will be able to asses where to put you on the card from the get go. This means that you won’t necessarily have to start right from the bottom, and could be thrown straight into a midcard feud.

So in essence that’s how it will work. I look forward to a great working relationship between the two “companies” for a long time into the future. But I’ve already talked too long. It’s time for me to hand over the Man. CEO of JBW. “Uncle” Kash!

Ka$hdinero takes a puff of his joint, blows the smoke in the direction of the cameraman in the ring, and says.... "Uh, yeah, what this guy said, and, um, hopefully this will, like, kinda entice the fans of our"... takes another puff... "respective companies to check out what they've been missing on the great shows they've been, um, missing... I guess."... looks to Roba and whispers "Is that alright?".... Roba just laughs and nods--Ka$h continues "OK, people, let's wrap it up with a special little chant that I wanna hear anytime me or one of my beloved roster are in an EWA ring... JAY-BEE-DUB--E-DUB-AY! JAB-BEE-DUB--E-DUB-AY!".... The crowd end the show by following suit... "JAY-BEE-DUB--E-DUB-AY! JAY-BEE-DUB--E-DUB-AY! JAY-BEE-DUB--E-DUB-AY!"

03-04-2012, 02:05 PM
Johnny Hot's "Trapped in the Closet":

*Hot wakes up in a bed he doesn't recognize*

Hot: ...Where the fuck am I? Last night was Saturday night... I was supposed to be with Iva!

*Hot tries to get dressed fast and leave, but Faith walks in*

Hot: What the hell? Faith!?!? What the fuck did I do last night?

Faith: What do you mean?

Hot: Nevermind, I gotta get out of here!

*Hot grabs his car keys and tries to walk out the front door but Faith stops him*

Faith: Wait! You can't leave out that way! My boyfriend is coming up the stairs!

Hot: What the fuck! I have to go see Iva!!

Faith: Please, just hide in the closet! I'll get him out as quickly as possible!

Hot: Let me just go out the window!

Faith: We're five stories up!

*Hot thinks about it*

Hot: Shit! Fine, let me into the closet!

*Hot gets in the closet. A minute later Luke Turne walks in*

Luke: Hey baby!

Faith (scared): Oh, uh, hey baby!

Luke: Why are you so jittery?

Faith: Uh... You just look so sexy right now!

Luke: Thanks babe.

*They begin to kiss, then end up in bed, but before any clothes get taken off Hot's phone goes off. Hot fumbles with it, then finally turns it off*

Luke: What the hell was that!?!

Faith: Uh... I don't know baby. Just come back to bed!

*Luke gets up*

Luke: There's someone here isn't there?

Faith: No baby! Just come back!

*Luke doesn't listen. He walks to the bathroom then looks behind the door*

Faith: Come back to bed!

Luke: Bitch, say no more!

*He pulls back the shower curtain while Faith bites her nails. He walks back to the room with Hot sweatin' like hell. Luke looks under the bed, then looks in the dresser. He then looks at the closet and Hot whips out his Beretta
*Luke walks over to the closet, then opens the door. Hot points his gun right as Luke's face and backs him up. Luke stares at Hot with hate*

Faith: Honey let me explain!

Luke: No need to go any further. I can clearly see what's going on behind my back, in my bed, in my home!

Hot: Listen man, I didn't even know she had a boyfriend!

Luke: Shut up manwhore! I know all about you! If you weren't holding that gun I'd kill you where you stand!

Faith: Luke get in control!

Hot: Come on, just calm down man!

Luke: I should've known that you would go and do some bogus shit up in my house! But the christian in my gave you the benefit of the doubt!

Hot: We need to resolve this

*Luke takes a step towards Hot and Hot points the gun*

Hot: Woah! C'mon, I didn't even know she had a boyfriend! Besides, your chick CHOSE me!

Luke: Bull shit man!

*Luke's phone goes off*

Luke: I bet you didn't know I was a pastor!

Hot: Well that's better right? We can handle this all christian like!

Faith: Baby, I'm so sorry!

Luke: Not as sorry as you're gonna be!

*Hot tries to leave*

Luke: Don't leave, I want you to see this!

Hot: I gotta get outta this house!

Luke: Not till I reveal my secret!

*Hot has a look on his face like "What the fuck is going on!?!?" Luke picks up his phone and calls someone*

Luke: Hey baby, turn the car around, I need you to come back.

*Looks at Hot*

Luke: Well since everyone is comin' out of the closet, I'm not about to be the only one who's broken hearted!

Faith: What do you mean?

Luke: Just wait and see.

Hot: Someone better talk to me!

*Phone rings again and Luke answers*

Luke's Lover: Baby I'm down stairs.

Luke: I'll buzz you up, I'm on the fifth floor, hurry take the stairs!

Hot: Who is this mystery bitch you're talking to!?!

Luke: In a few seconds you'll both know the shocking truth!

Faith: What-

Luke: Bitch, this is something I've wanted to get off my chest for a long long time!

Hot: I'm gonna shoot you both if you don't say what's on your mind!

Luke: Wait! I hear someone coming up the stairs!

*Hot points the gun at Luke*

Hot: I'm gonna count to four! One!

Luke: Mister wait!

Hot: Two!

Faith: Please don't shoot!



Hot: FOUR!

*Faith screams but a knock on the door interrupts Hot. Luke opens the door-*

03-04-2012, 11:49 PM
EWA OFFICIAL THEME SONG- I’m a Gun- Shotgun Messiah (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9-SC8h5uPPA)
Pyro goes off and PAIN! Logo is on the eTron *Crowd is pumped up
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s3ll45p5Ors">
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s3ll45p5Ors)video by pau
PAIN! Episode 3

Harry Esel: Welcome back to another addition of EWA PAIN! I am Harry Esel and this is my fellow commentator Carter Davis. We are live here in the Stadium mk, the home ground of Milton Keynes Dons Football Club in Milton Keynes, England.

Carter Davis: Football club? Its soccer dammit. Why does the rest of the world have to be so different? Call it a soccer team!

Harry: Soccer, football, same thing here in the UK. But I will say the MK Dons are no Liverpool.

Carter: You know you are only saying that because our COO is a fan of Liverpool- ass kisser.

Harry: Hey, it may get me a raise. Anyways, we just came off of a huge Fury, really big news and…

Carter: Yeah, I saw Barbie spits.

Harry: What? I was talking about our working relationship with JBW.

Carter: Oh yeah, that was pretty big too.

Harry: Anyways last week on PAIN! we found out who would be going on to Untamed Khaos to crown the first World Heavyweight Champion of this brand. Mike Muir or Raden Blain.

Carter: My money is on Blain. That guy has it all.

Harry: Maybe he does. Tonight we will see Harry Richards, Ryku O’Ryan, Gaileo, Silva and quite a few others will be in ring action. But first we will hear from a special guest, in fact he is from …..

It’s the hometown hero, and what a pop! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uDd16QVdBAA)

*Rob Rage comes out to an almighty pop from his hometown Milton Keynes fans. He walks down the ramp with his arms held out wide, embracing the sheer wall of love. He slides into the ring, grabs the mic and screams into it*

Rob: I’M HOME!!!!!

Carter: What the hell is he doing here?

Harry: Didn’t you read the memo- this is Rob Rage’s home town.

Carter: Ohhh, so what is he doing out here?

Harry: He is the special guest I was about to talk about.

Carter: Ohhh, so again, what is he doing here?

Harry: My god, you’re an idiot.

*The crowd nearly blow the mother fucking roof off*

Harry: Holy shit it’s loud

Carter: You can say that again

Harry: Holy shit it’s loud

Carter: No, still can’t hear you

Rob: Hello, and welcome world, TO MILTON KEYNES *has to wait around twenty seconds for the pop to subside* Now, I know that I’m a Fury superstar, and this quite clearly is PAIN!, l but there was no way in hell that I was missing this one. It’s not often one gets to perform in front of one’s home crowd, and I wasn’t going to pass this opportunity up.

Horus Black walks out clapping sarcastically (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vmI7vbg69tk)

*After his clap slowly fades to silence he picks up a mic and begins to speak*

Horus: *In the most patronising tone you can imagine* Well done Rob, you finally got something right. You are a Fury superstar, and this is PAIN! You know what that means? Probably not, otherwise you wouldn’t be here. What that means is that YOU are on MY PATCH!

03-04-2012, 11:59 PM
Rob: NO, that is where you find yourself in the wrong again. I may be on your brand, but this is my back yard, bitch!

Harry: The crowd seems to agree

Horus: Oh we shall see about that

Rob: *shudders* By God I’m soooo scared. *starts to breath heavily* What are you going to do?

Horus: I’m going to put you in a match


Horus: Oh get up you pathetic excuse for an athlete

Rob: Pathetic am I? Well just sit back and watch as this pathetic athlete takes whoever you have to throw at me to wrestling school

Horus: Confident aren’t we? That confidence may be misplaced due to your previous record against him. Tonight you will be facing the undefeated Raden Blain, the person who beat you at the New Year’s Supershow, and that match is up next

Rob: Ah… Good choice… Get him out here then

Ask and thou shalt receive (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gkhwK6Wlod8&)

Carter: YES! Here comes the almighty Raden Blain flanked by the thirteen members of his covenant. YES!

Harry: This should be a great match. Last time these two faced off it was an epic, but the ending was spoiled by interference from Alex Kidd. He’s not here tonight, so we will hopefully get to see who the better man is

Carter: Man isn’t the first noun I’d use for Blain, but he’s getting the win here either way. He is the best, the BEST!

*Raden steps into the ring but Rob doesn’t wait for the bell and starts straight on the offence raining in lefts and rights*

Raden Blain versus Rob Rage

*ignore pre 4:32*


*only watch up until 2:21*

Harry: Big counter there by Blain, followed up with a nice elbow drop

*As Raden gets back up to his feet, Rob suddenly pounds the mat with his arms and gets back up to his feet in a fit of Rage. Blain looks almost taken aback as Rage is beating his chest and getting in Raden’s face. Well at least as much as he can being about a foot shorter*

*Raden strikes first and hits Rob with a big right hook, but the Brit not only stays up but fires back with a shot of his own. Raden fires back and we soon have ourselves a slugfest in the middle of the ring with the crowd cheering every time one of Rob’s lands, and booing when Raden connects*

03-05-2012, 12:22 AM















*Rob gets a couple of big shots in a row, and has Raden backed up onto the ropes. He turns around and runs the ropes but is met by a big boot from Raden*

Carter: Well that was a good try by Rage, but nobody beats Blain, nobody!

*Raden then starts to climb up to the top rope*

Harry: Could we be about to see the Moonsault?

*Before Raden can execute whatever he has in mind though, Rage kips up and quickly pushes Blain’s legs out from underneath him, crotching him backwards on the top rope*

*Rob then climbs up and pulls Raden to hit feet*

Harry: No way! No way is he going to super back suplex a seven footer!

*All of a sudden Horus Black is up on the apron, and as the ref goes over to see him, a member of the covenant pulls Rob’s leg and he falls down off the top rope to the mat*

Harry: What… No!

Carter: Yes, fuck him up Blain


Carter: Nobody is getting up from that




WINNER- Raden Blain

Carter: Blain wins again and shows Rage why he shouldn’t mess with Horus Black

Harry: Rob had the upper hand until Black interfered, and you know it

Carter: Raden had this won from the beginning.

Harry: No he didn’t

Carter: Yes he did!

Harry: No he didn’t

Carter: No he didn’t

Harry: Yes he did!

Carter: Ha, I knew you would agree with me. Rage lost in his home town- love it. And that was a great way to start off the night. Blain looked great as always. I wonder where he gets his pants.

Harry: What? I didn’t agree with you Carter, you just confused me. Anyways, lets send it to the lovely Faith Leflur in the back with Silva who has a match next.

Carter: Damn, look at her tonight, smokin!

*Faith and a cameraman are in the hallway with Silva*

03-05-2012, 12:50 AM
Faith: Thanks Har……..

*Harry Richards comes out of nowhere tackling Silva, knocking Faith down in the process. Richards then gets on top of Silva and just starts pounding away for a minute or two. Richards then gets up, grabs Silva up by the jaw and knees him straight in the nuts a few times.*

Carter: Ouchie, those nut shots hurt.

Harry: Tell me about it.

Carter: Well last night when I was…

Harry: Gesh, I was not serious, it was just a figure of speech.

*Silva is down again, in agonizing pain. Richards then goes over and helps Faith up. She is just shaken up, but not hurt.*

Harry Richards: I am so sorry, I really did not mean to , are you ok Faith? Sorry, I can’t tell you how, is there anything I can, oh man, I am sorry, I, I

*Faith, in tears, pushes Richards away and runs off further backstage. Richards is visible upset that she was in harms way.*

Carter: Hmmm Faith is vulnerable, maybe I should rush to her, smooth talk her…..

Harry: You know, you really are a dick Carter and you are staying right here.

Carter: Dammit Harry, you gotta help me out here. Her guard is down. Please! It may be my only chance.

Harry: I said no dammit!

Carter: Oh, all right, you win.

*Richards sets his focus back on Silva who is still on the ground holding his balls, agonizing in pain. Richards looks around and finds a steel chair to hit Silva with. As Richards is swinging it back, Silva grabs the mic that is laying right in front of him and thrust it in Harry’s nuts. With that, Richards goes down.*

Carter: Ha ha ha ha. I’m sorry but this is funny, all these nut shots.

*Silva finally gets to his feet and starts kicking Richards in his back a few times. Silva then turns around to pick up the chair. With Silva’s back to him, Richards flips over and trips Silva, causing him to land right into the steel chair, breaking it.

Harry: Jesus, these guys are gonna kill each other. And that chair broke way too easy.

Carter: I have to hand it to this Richards kid, he is not backing away.

*Richards slowly gets up, leans against the wall for about a minute to get his bearings. Silva starts to get up too, but grabs a part of the broken chair and swings at Richards with it. Richards backs away to entrance way leading to the stage, Silva is following him. When Richards gets onstage, he bumps into a cameraman. He grabs the camera out of his hands and throws it at Silva- who drops the piece of the chair but catches the camera. Silva then puts the camera on the floor and rushes after Richards.*

Carter: Well someone almost lost their paycheck this week. Those cameras are pretty expensive.

*Silva goes to tackle Richards but Richards dodges causing Silva to crash on the stage. Richards immediately starts kicking Silva when he is down. Richards then grabs Silva and places him in a sleeper hold.*

Carter: Wow this kid really is focused- fast learner too. I think I under estimated him. I can’t believe he was taught by Rob Rage.

Harry: About time you see the light Carter.

Carter: Fuck you Harry. He is not that great- he is just not a total loser.

*After about 15 seconds in the sleeper hold, Silva slowly stands up and elbows his way out.*

Harry: Must not have had it clamped down hard enough.

Carter: No shit Sherlock, Silva is a master at it- I think Richards was just sending Silva a message.

*Silva and Richards are then trading punches back and forth until Silva hits a low blow on Richards. Silva immediately sets Richards up for a Tombstone, Richards is driven down hard into the stage.*

Harry: Shit, Richards career could be over tonight.

Carter: I hope he has insurance ha ha.

*Silva walks backstage and comes out with the camera in hand. He crashes it into Richards chest. Silva kicks the camera pieces out the way, then sets up Richards for another Tombstone.*

Harry: This has got to stop.

Carter: Yeah, this is getting a little too serious, even for me and you know how I like seeing guys all sweaty and getting the shit beat out of them.

*Mike Muir emerges from backstage and Silva quickly lets Richards fall to the stage. Silva backs away down the ramp. Muir stands at the top of the ramp and both men exchanging words.*

Carter: Ok, I hate this Muir, but am glad he is out here to try to stop this.

*EMTS, followed by Faith come out onstage to check on Richards. Muir backs up to see how things are with Richards, but still keeping his eyes on Silva. Silva decides to make a mad rush into crowd around Richards- knocking over one of the EMTS. He gets his hands on Richards again, but Muir pulls him off before any further damage can be done.*

Carter: Damn, Silva wants to kill the kid- this really is not funny now.

* Silva pushes Muir down, but Muir immediately gets up starting to rush at Silva. Silva grabs Faith putting her in front of himself. This stops Muir. Silva starts walking backwards towards the backstage entrance with Faith in tow. Muir is following. Right when Silva gets to the entrance, he shoves Faith at Muir and runs off.*

Harry: Thank God its over.

Carter: I’m at a lost for words.

Harry: Never thought I would hear those words coming from you.

Carter: Well I do feel bad for the kid.

*Muir makes sure Faith is ok, then they both walk over to Richards and the EMTs. Barbie Panzer and a few of the wrestlers come out on stage and gather around Richards. The EMT’s place Richards on a board, then head for a side entrance.*

Harry: This is bad …we are getting word that we have to go to commercial.


03-05-2012, 01:08 AM
Harry: Ok we are back. We have received word that Harry Richards is being rushed to a local hospital for test. We have also received word that Horus Black has announced Mike Muir versus Silva for tonights main event. Muir demanded the match.

Carter: Well hopefully the kid is ok, but after witnessing what Silva just did to that kid, Muir is shit out of luck tonight. Silva will destroy Muir.

Harry: Maybe so. That Silva is a dangerous man. What he did to Richards was uncalled for.

Carter: Well Richards started it, so he only has himself to blame.

Harry: In a way, you do have a point there. But Silva has been a thorn in Richard’s side for the past few weeks. It was just a matter of time when Harry snapped. Well, seeing as thought Silva’s match has been changed and Richards will no longer be in action tonight, our next match will be Northern Aggression versus Fuegos Artificiales. We will send it backstage to Faith and Northern Aggression. Faith, you ok now?

Faith: Yeah Harry I’m good, let me try to find them as they never showed up.

*Faith, with camera man in tow, starts walking down the hallway- they run into smoke and mist and decide to walk through it, with Faith bumping into someone.*

Faith: Hello? Hello?

*The mysterious person: in an angry voice- Hello! the person then calmly pushes Faith out the way, walks off, the smoke and mist dissipate leaving Faith and the camera man just standing there.*

Faith: Ok. What the hell was that?

Camera man: I don’t know, but I believe I pissed myself.

Faith: Ewww *they then head off further backstage*

*Finally somewhere backstage Faith walks up to Doug Baker and Tom Butcher who are smoking and drinking beers, they don’t see her, nor the camera man.*

Baker: So Doug, bet you don’t know the answer to this- Are zebra’s black with white stripes or white with black stripes?

Butcher: That’s easy- they are white with black stripes, everybody knows that.

Baker: Wrong, trick question- there is no answer

*Faith finally knocks on a set of lockers alongside the wall- to get their attention*

Faith: um Hey guys, glad I found you, tonight you…

Baker: Oh hey woman, I have a riddle for you. Do you know if zebra’s are black with white stripes or white with black stripes? If you get the answer wrong you have to strip down to your bra and panties.

Faith: I am not wearing any.

Butcher: Hmm, all the better.

Baker: And you must also let us pour these beers on your breast so we can lick it off.

Butcher: Then you must walk out to the ring with us on all fours, barking like a dog. Naked of course.

Faith: I don’t think so guys, I am just here for an interview

Baker: Come on woman, live a little. Tell you what, if you do get it right, I will drop my pants and my buddy Tom will kiss my ass.

Butcher: Fuck that, you will have to kiss my fat ass.

Faith: Why don’t you both kiss each other’s asses if I get it right? Then you guys can answer my questions.

*Doug and Tom look at each other, whispering back and forth, laugh bit, then check out Faiths body*

Baker: Ok, we are game. But you only have the two choices- white with black, or black with white. Any other answer will be incorrect.

Faith: That’s fine I guess.

Butcher: Ha ha, best start stripping bitch.

Baker: So?

Faith: Well, genetically speaking, zebras are black with white stripes, not white with black stripes. They have black skin, even under the white hair.

Baker: Ha, start ya stripping, Tom grab a few more beers to pour on her

Faith: Hold on just one minute, I am correct.

Baker: No you are not, everyone knows it’s a trick question- there is no answer. Take it off.

Faith: Uh, I have a Ph D in zoology- my thesis was on zebras mating habits. I know what I am talking about.

Butcher: uh Whats a P H and D?

Baker: I think it means D is her cup size

Faith: Um, my breast are not that big. A Ph D means I am smarter than the both of you put together assholes.

Butcher: Hey, that’s not nice. But you know you are still wrong huh?

*Faith pulls out here phone, types something in and shows it to both Tom and Doug- who go from laughing to a really somber look on their faces.*

Butcher and Baker: Damn!

Faith: Ok guys, get with it, right on the ass cracks.

*Butcher drops his pants, Baker kisses his ass, Baker drops his pants, Butcher kisses his ass. They both spit on the floor and pick up their beers and down them. They pick up another each and down those.*

Faith: Eww, sorry I had to see and smell it. Ok, interview time. About your match tonight…..

Baker: Our match tonight? You want us to talk about that now? Get the fuck out of here ya stupid cunt. We are gonna take all of our anger out on those Torres brothers, but we have a parting gift for you.

*Baker and Butcher pick up two more beers, shake them, open them and spray them on Faith, then walk away.*

Faith: *looking in to the camera*- Tonight is just not my night, *she starts crying, grabs a beer and walks off*

Harry: Poor thing

Carter: Damn, I wanted to see her naked and drenched in beer

Harry: She needs a break.

Carter: She needs a good…

Harry: Don’t say it Carter.

03-05-2012, 01:26 AM
Northern Aggression, guys you don’t want to fuck with (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pg09uMx-7ZY&)

Carter: I love these guys, but the ass kissing was kind of weird because they both had hairy asses. Is mine that hairy Harry? Anyways, still lots of love to them.

Harry: Yes, your ass is very hairy and you seem to love all the heels.

Carter: I love all the bitches here too. Faith, Barbie, Ashley and that chick from Carnage- Iva Hardy - they all get me hot. What I would give to fuck em all, hell I would even pay them. Faith may be my best chance though, her guard is still down.

Harry: You have no shame Carter.

Carter: Nope, not really.

*Northern Aggression have made their way to the ring*
Flying High Again (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F_6IjeprfEs)

*Taco and Paco come out on stage and ask for and receive mics. They both look in a sober mood.*

Paco: Man Taco, our friend Harry got pretty beateded up tonight. I’m worried for him man.

Taco: Its beat up, and yes he looked to be in bad shape. And what really sucks is he has our stuff on him, I snuck it in his fanny pack when he was not looking. I don’t know what we are gonna do after the show.

Carter: I do not care for these Fajita Artichoke guys, but man they have the finest weed. That plus today we dropped acid earlier

Harry: uh, Carter, you know we are live and its Feglous Articles, um Fetus Amenties, Fuckme Ndanus, dammit Carter, you got me messing their name up too.

Carter: Ha Ha, did you just hear what you said?

Harry: No what?

Carter: Just watch it when the show is aired.

Harry: When will that be?

Carter: The day after Fury airs as its a bitch to do all the colouring of the text and sometimes its a bitch to post the videos

Paco: Um, we can always buy more weed amigo. But tonight we must win for our amigo Harry. We must make him proud, we must, oh I forgot what I was going to say…..

Taco: I know what you mean Paco, I am too upset for words myself.

Paco: No, I think I am tripping. Anyways lets eat this butcher and baker and the candlestick maker for our little hairy friend. Say, is that a pony and a midget? Alex?

Taco: Um Paco, it’s beat not eat and it’s a guy named Butcher and a guy named Baker- they are in the ring waiting for us. Lets go!

*Taco runs down the ramp and jumps into the ring*
Paco: Wait for me, wait for me! *running to the ring kind of slow, looking around* Hey where did the pony go? I wanted to bring it to our furry little friend to cheer him up. Here pony pony, here pony pony, where are you? Where is the midget? Is that a boat? Wow look at the lights. Hey the refs head is big, I need to make a bong out of it. I want pancakes. Where is my tutu? I really want blueberry pancakes, with maple syrup and tons of butter and sprinkles. *Paco then meets Taco in the ring*

Carter: Ha ha, Paco is so fucked up. This is funny. He almost reminds me of one of the Hardys.

Harry: Which one?

Carter: Jeff or Matt, take your pick.

Fuegos Artificiales versus Northern Aggression

Hardys/ Fuegos Artificiales Booker Xpac/ Northern Aggression

Start watching @ 1:40, stop watching 4:38

*AR and Destruction come out of the crowd, jumping the guardrail and are now near the ring apron. Paco bounces off the other rope, but is tripped by Alpha. Taco flies off the ring apron towards both Alpha and Destruction but is caught by Destruction, who quickly rams Taco into the ringpost. While this is going on, both members of Northern Aggression- Baker and Butcher, have ganged up on Paco. The ref calls for the bell.*

WINNERS BY DQ- Fuegos Artificiales

Harry: With this, Fuegos Artificiales get yet another victory by DQ, and what is seemingly common for them, yet another beatdown.

Carter: Oh man, I love watching them get beat up. Just as long as they do not get killed, I will be happy. Just glad we got high before the show.

*Destruction picks Taco up again and slams him into the steps. Taco is out cold, Destruction spits on him and enters the ring. Alpha grabs a steel chair from ringside and enters the ring, says something to Butcher and Baker.*

Harry: This is going to end bad.

*Butcher and Baker are now holding Paco, Destruction then spits on him, slaps his face around a bit, then kicks him in his nuts.*

Carter: Nut Shot! I love this!

*Alpha then swings the chair at Paco’s head, hitting him twice- breaking the chair the second time.*

Carter: Man those chairs suck, steel chairs aren’t that easy to break.

Harry: They are probably cheap knockoffs.

*Paco is now laying in the ring, all four men nudge him out with their feet. Butcher and Baker exchange words with Alpha and Destruction, they shake hands, take an envelope from Alpha and leave the ring- leaving Alpha and Destruction alone in the ring- they ask for and receive mics.*

Carter: I am hungry for tacos now.

Harry: That was random.

Alpha: *talking to Butcher and Baker*- Nice job guys, been a pleasure. Well we just welcomed Paco and Taco to the Alpha House once more with style. Destruction and I have dominated them every chance we get, yet tonight management saw fit to leave us off the card. So we took it upon ourselves to come out and give everybody a view of Fuegos Artificiales future. What kind of future you ask? Take a look at them both *Paco and Taco are out cold- EMT’s are checking on them.* That’s their future. Oh and Paco, if you can hear me, say hello to your friend Harry when they bring you to the hospital.

*Crowd is booing and throwing stuff in the ring*

Alpha: *smiling now* Once we are done with you Paco and Taco, somebody better call ya mama

Destruction: Yeah, because you will need her to take care of you the rest of your pathetic lives.

*Alpha and Destruction drop the mics, leave the ring and head backstage to a chorus of boos*

Carter: Well as long as they do not kill them I will be happy.

Harry: You know you can get drugs pretty much anywhere.

Carter: I know, but their weed is the best

*The EMT’s help Paco and Taco to their feet and help them backstage.*

Carter: See they are alright

Harry: Uh, bleeding all over the place- lots of cuts on their faces, arms, , I don’t think they are in the best of shape now.

Carter: Nah they will be fine. *yelling out*- See you before the next show guys!

Harry: Alrighty, its time for our second commercial break of the evening. When we come back we will try to get that interview with Silva.


03-05-2012, 01:37 AM
Harry: Carter, what the hell are you eating?

Carter: Well there is this Aussie guy in the back- he along with the Panzer brothers are cooking up a sheep on a BBQ pit. They all came by to see the show and party backstage. Here try some *hands Harry a slab of meat*

Harry: Damn this is great, I would love to have some shrimp with this.

Carter: Well they said if they did not get too drunk before the end of the show, they were gonna throw some shrimp on the barbie. Alex Kidd is not here tonight, but the Torres brothers are shrimps too, maybe they will do.

Harry: What? I am talking about crustaceans, shrimps or prawns, not people. Oh crap, we are back from commercial *Harry and Carter throw the food under the table.* Um, we have received word from the hospital that Harry Richards injuries are not life threatening. He has a concussion, a chipped tooth, lacerations and a few bruised ribs. With rest, he should be able to return to ring action in a few weeks.

Carter: So wait, he gets a nice little vacation? No fair.

Harry: I would not call it that. *someone walks up to Harry with a note* What do we have here? Well it seems we have just had another big influx of talent here in EWA in this past week alone- Mike Hawk, Noah Phillips, Dave "The Gunner" Steele, Smoggie, Dingo Mac, Extraterrestrial, Shaz and Amadeus Frewin along with his wife Elfreida. And I heard we just had a few more guys sign contracts.

Carter: Yeah, did you see the EWA Special- Road to Untamed Khaos? Noah shook up a beer and gave it to Barbie- its sprayed all over her- it was the finest thing that I have ever seen, I think she had fun. And at the Frewin contract signing special, you know Barbie wanted those lawyers.

Harry: No, Barbie was visibly upset after both shows. And I can not wait to see where all this new talent ends up. Anyways lets send it to the back again. Interviewing Silva will be Barbie. Barbie thanks for doing this as Faith refused to talk to him and she has had a rough night.

Barbie: Poor thing, I tried cheering her up, but she just wanted to get drunk. But hey I was here anyways- I don’t mind pitching in. So Silva, you could have ended that poor kids career tonight and now you are facing Mike Muir in the main event tonight. He has been on a roll here in EWA and he oh so much cuter than you. What makes you think you can beat him?

From childhood's hour I have not been
As others were I have not seen
As others saw I could not bring
My hatred from a common spring.
From the same source I have not taken
My sickness I could not awaken
My death to joy at the same tone
And all evil, I must hate alone.

Then in my childhood in the dawn
Of a most stormy life- was drawn
From every depth of good and ill
The mystery which binds me still
From the torrent or the fountain
From the red cliff of the mountain
From the sun that round me rolled
In its autumn tint of old
From the lightning in the sky
As it passed me flying by
From the thunder and the storm
And the cloud that took the form
When the rest of Hell was askew
Of a demon in my view.

Barbie: Can’t you just answer a damn question? And why did you screw up a perfectly good Poe piece? You are one weird ass motherfucker. I hope Mike Muir breaks your jaw to fucking shut you up for good, you fucking freak.

*Silva gets in Barbie’s face*

Barbie: You better back away motherfucker.*Silva just stands there, Barbie slaps him in the face, Silva places his hands on her breast and pushes her away, Barbie slaps him again but Silva just stands there and slowly smiles. Barbie walks off frustrated.*

Carter: Silva just copped a feel of Barbies boobies- he is my new hero!

*Barbie walks right into newest EWA signies Amadeus Frewin and his manager/wife Elfreida Frewin who were watching the show on a monitor.*

Barbie: *Barbie cheers up a bit upon seeing them* Oh hey guys! Found out which show you guys are gonna be on yet?

*Elfreida Frewin places her hand on Amadeus’ shoulder, he nods his head ‘no’

Barbie: Oh well, you know the person to talk to is……..

Camera man: We don’t have time for you to chit chat Barbie. We need go get set up for the next interview. Come on whore, get moving. *The camera man walks off further backstage

Barbie: Motherfucking asshole. I’m not a whore. *Barbie takes off in the opposite direction, crying

Carter: I am in love- bitches with dirty mouths turn me on.

Harry: Anything in a short skirt turns you on.

Carter: True, true. A great rack doesn’t hurt either, Barbie has that and more. That Elfrieda is hot too.

Harry: Raden Blain turns you on too

Carter: So true, I mean, no he does not. I just get hard watching him in the ring and hearing him speak, those large hands, those fingers, that mouth, that voice…

Harry: Which means you are turned on by him. And maybe we should not let Barbie fill in for backstage interviews all that much, she has quite the potty mouth. Anyways our next match of the night starts now- Ryku O’Ryan is taking on EWA Carnage’s John Hail.

03-05-2012, 02:01 AM
Its that Fella again, Barbie Panzer thinks he is yummy (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vbwZNALLjgs)

Harry: I am a big fan of this guy- he is gonna go far in EWA.

Carter: I just like the Fella thing he does. I used it on some bitch after last weeks show and it worked. I got me some.

Harry: Yeah, I know, I was there. She was a hooker.

Carter: I know, but the Fella thing got her attention. And thanks for paying- next time let me go first please, I hate sloppy seconds, you can still watch of course.

*Ryku makes his way to the ring, stopping by some fans to sign autographs. He then enters the ring.*

It’s Hailing- actually it hailed really bad the other day, a tornado came through too (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5FkJa4BfeU)

Carter: Oh yeah, I saw this guy on Carnage. He was decent in the ring.

Harry: He is actually pretty good.

*Hail makes it to the ring* Ryku O’Ryan versus John Hail

Davey Richards/O’Ryan Kenny Omega/Hail

*start watching @2:05, stop watching @ 9:00- ignore the pumpkin seed, lol

*Hail is Irish Whipped into the corner of the ring, he flips over the ring post and catches himself on the apron.*

Harry: See I told ya Hail wasn’t that bad. He has been keeping up with O’Ryan for a good part of this match. He reminds me of a young Kenny Omega.

Carter: True, and this can go either way. I actually thought this would be over in 2 minutes.

*Hail takes his time getting back into the ring, Hail and O’Ryan lock up. O’Ryan gets the upperhand and lifts Hail up and body slams him. O’Ryan goes for the pin.*


Harry: I think he has this- and with just a bodyslam.



*Hail kicks out and argues with the ref that O’Ryan was holding his tights. The ref questions O’Ryan- who denies it- well because he was not..*

Carter: I saw it, DQ him.

*While they are talking, Hail kicks O’Ryan in the back of his leg, bringing him to his knees. Hail goes to the corner, jumps on the second turn buckle and gloats to the crowd. While he is doing that, O’Ryan gets to his feet. Hail jumps down, turns around right into a Superkick.*

Harry: Almost took his head off with that superkick.

Carter: Yeah and I think he just got kicked back to Carnage.

*Ryku waste no time in pinning Hail.




WINNER- Ryku O’Ryan

Carter: Bye bye Hail, nice knowing you.

Harry: Well he did put up a good fight, but it just was not enough.

Carter: Well yeah, I admit, Hail was kind of impressive. Ryku was just the better man tonight

*Ryku, still in the ring, ask for a mic.*

Ryku: Good match Fella, now please exit the ring. Gaileo! You cost me my match last week against Blaine, and well that don't sit right with me. Now I hear you constantly mockin' me and trashin' me and jokin' about my upbringin'. You think you're pretty damn funny, well I got news for you Fella, I may of been raised in The Isle of Man, but I am 100% Irish, born in Dublin! And ya know how they say never cross an angry Irish? Well you've gone and done just that.

*Ryku looks towards John Hail, who is slowly getting up, he turns Hail around and Superkicks him again*

Carter: What in the world!? That was uncalled for! He’s a good guy. Only heels take cheap shots like that.

Harry: Looks like he was sending a message to Gaileo!

Carter: Well message received! I am starting to warm up to this O’Ryan

The ref yells at Ryku, who looks annoyed. The crowd begins to chants "Him too" Ryku obliges and grabs the ref, delivering a devastating Pedigree*

Ryku: Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!

Harry: Looks like he just sent Gaileo another message.

Carter: No shit. I see what Barbie sees in him. Ahhhhhhhhh!

Harry: I think she just wants to have sex with him.

Carter: Oh me too, I mean I want to have sex with Barbie, our own little whore.

*Ryku leaves the ring, the crowd is cheering his name. One female fan jumps the guard rail and plants a big kiss on the fella. A member of security helps the fan back to her seat, the whole time she is screaming “I LOVE YOU RYKU!” Ryku looks back, gives her a smile and heads backstage.*

Carter: Everyone wants a piece of Ryku . Well since he just sent Gaileo two messages lets send it back to our resident whore- Barbie Panzer so we can hear from Gaileo, who may or may have not heard what Ryku just said..

Harry: Carter, you know that is my job to send it to the back.

Carter: Sorry

Harry: Alright Barbie, back to you.

03-05-2012, 02:43 AM
Barbie: Thanks Harry. Carter, go fuck yourself, I am not a whore. I am getting so tired of hearing that. Anyways I'm here with Gaileo. So Gaileo - tonight you face a debutant in Jack Walkon. How do you feel about this match?

Gaileo: *staring at Barbie's breasts* Umm... sorry what

Barbie: I said how do you feel about your match tonight?

Gaileo: Err, it's big. It's big. They're big and round and they go like a porn star.

Barbie: *feeling a little uncomfortable* Are you worried about facing an unfamiliar force?

Gaileo: No, I'm very familiar with jugs. Jugs, tits, boobies, puppies I love them all

*Barbie slaps Gaileo and he goes in a rage*

Gaileo: You fucking whore, wait till I get my hands on you. Your ass will be sorer than whoever my opponent is after I'm done with you.

*Gaileo goes to punch Barbie, but he goes in a trance. He walks down to the ring with a fixed stare. Barbie starts crying yet again and runs off further backstage.*

Carter: Man I love this Gaileo, he put that bitch in her place, in her place.

Harry: Which probably was not a great thing to do- have you seen her brothers in action?

And here comes Gaileo (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7u8gQMD2UGw)

Carter: My new hero! I love him. I loooove him

Harry: Ok- the guy is great in the ring, but……

Carter: But what? The guy is great and a bit scary and he loves boobies. Hooray for boobies! I think Barbie’s breast made him forget about Ryku.

Harry: And that’s one person he should not turn your back on- Ryku is focused on Gaileo, he better watch his back.

Who the fuck is this? Jack Walkon??? (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQlIhraqL7o)

Carter: You have to be kidding me, is that really his theme song?

Harry: Seems so. Weird.

Carter: I love it actually, I want to come out to that every week for now on.

Harry: We do not get theme songs, only the wrestlers do- besides a song like this is too giddy for wrestling.

Carter: Uh, what does giddy mean?

Harry: It means – silly. Giddy is also the agent of one of Carnage’s stars- Johnny Hot who is our resident manwhore.

Carter: Yeah, I’ve seen him in action. He is great. Nice package.

Harry: What?

Carter- Oh not that, I mean he has it all, great ring presence, charisma- stuff like that- I love his package.

Harry: Seriously, stop saying package.

Gaileo versus Jack Walkon

Sid/Gaileo ???/Walkon

stop watching @ 2:25

WINNER- Gaileo

Harry: That was over pretty quick, Walkon didn’t even put up much of a fight.

Carter: Ha ha, welcome to jobberville Mr Jack Walkon. I think Barbie’s boobies gave Gaileo magic powers. Besides nobody beats Gaileo.

Harry: Well you might want to rewatch last weeks PAIN!

Carter: Oh yeah, I forgot. I still love you Gaileo.

Harry: Ok, its almost time for our main event of the night- Mike Muir versus Silva. We heard from Silva earlier. Now lets hear from Muir, who is backstage being interviewed by our own Barbie Panzer. You ok Barbie?

Barbie: *she has a sucker in her mouth which she pulls out* Yes I am Harry, at least once I ran in to this guy *points at Muir* Thanks for picking me up at the EWA Studios other day Mike, that was so sweet of you.

Muir: Was no problem.

Barbie: Now Mike, I think Richards owes you his life after tonight. Thank God you got out there in time. One more Tombstone and Richards would have been a goner. *She starts licking the sucker*

Carter: Did she say boner? I want to tap that ass. Damn I wish I was that sucker, look at her licking it…Oh man oh man. Oh boy oh boy oh boy. My God! Sweet Jesus! I think I’m gonna, oh stick a finger up my ass.

Harry: What? Settle down Carter.

Muir: Well Barbie, I would have done that for anyone.

Barbie: Even sweet little ol me? *She takes another lick of her sucker*

Carter: What the fuck? She is flirting with him. *Carter’s face is flaming red*

Muir: *chuckles* Yes Barbie, even sweet lil ol you. If I would have been near when the Gaileo interview was going on I would have stepped in. And sorry everybody is giving you a hard time. Oh and is that the same camera man you told me about that bothered you?

Barbie: No, I went to management and complained about him. This guy has behaved.

Muir: Well that’s good. Nobody should treat a woman that way.

Carter: God dammit I hate him! I want him to die! I want to rip out his liver and put it in a blender.

Barbie: Awe, you’re the sweetest! *she gives Muir a hug.* Oh my, you’re built. You must work out a lot huh?

Muir: Yes.

Barbie: Maybe you could help me with my workouts.

Muir: Sure can.

Carter: Dammit, why couldn’t Barbie be out on commentary again with us this week?

Harry: Well she does kind of, well, hate you. Remember, she decked you at the end of last weeks show.

Carter: And I liked it. She can hit on me anytime she wants.

Harry: Ok, well anyways she said she may join us from time to time as long as she does not have to sit by you.

03-05-2012, 03:04 AM
Barbie: So Mike, you get to main event tonight. That has to feeel ooooh sooo good huh? *She puts the sucker in her mouth, takes it out, puts it back in, etc.*

Carter: God dammit!

Muir: Well, um, yeah I, uh, um yes it does. And I am psyched to be in the main event.

Barbie: Well you deserve it and ohhh such more. *she takes a lick of the sucker* You get to fight that weirdo Silva tonight. Care to tell me what your thoughts are for the match?

Muir: Well, uh, Barbie, normally I go into a match with a set game plan. I go in focused to win. I go in to show that I am one of the fastest rising stars in this sport. I go in to honor this company in any way I can. But tonights match is different. Silva went just a little too far with Harry. I am glad his injuries were not too bad. A few weeks rest and he will be back better than ever.

Barbie: Well, that’s thanks to you big guy. *Barbie pats him on his chest, then runs her free hand up to his shoulder, massaging it.* Here, can you hold my sucker? *in a very sexy voice* You can lick it if you want.

Muir: Yes please, I mean yes I will lick whatever uh, I mean ok. I, I….ok I. um I will hold it. Is it hot in here?

*Barbie hands the sucker to Muir*

Carter: I, I I want to kill him

Barbie: Yeah, I am feeling a little hot myself. *she adjust her top to show even more cleavage* Ohhh yeah, much better don’t ya think?

Carter: YES!!!!!!!

Muir: um, Yes mamm *he takes a lick of the sucker*

Carter: Dammit, Why? Why? Why can’t I be back there? I want to stab Muir in the elbow.

Barbie: So what are you gonna do to Silva, or did I ask you that already?*Barbie blushes*

Muir: *Muir blushes*, uh, I am not sure, I don’t remember, uh, but I am going to make Silva pay tonight. He will be sorry he ever set foot in this fed. In fact, he will be sorry he ever stepped in the ring with me. I will win this match for Harry.

Barbie: Well I know you will. Good luck. *Barbie gives him a kiss on the lips.* Oh and could you be a sweetheart and escort me from the arena after the show as that creep Gaileo is still probably lurking around? Pretty please? *She licks the sucker that Muir is still holding, then takes it from his hand and puts in her mouth*

Muir: Yeah, sure I can do that. Well, uh, let me go get ready for my match. Catch you later.

Carter: Die Muir! Die Muir! I am gonna get in that bus outside and run him over. Barbie shall be mine!

Barbie: Ok, and good luck out there tonight. See ya. *Barbie gives Muir another kiss, then whispers something in his ear.*

*Muir then walks off, he looks back once to see Barbie, who is all smiles, he smiles back at her. He opens the door to the locker room, only to have a broom and a mop fall out- it was a janitors closet. He quickly pushes them back in and walks down one more door to the actual locker room.*

Carter: *crying now* What does he have what I don’t?

Harry: Well lets see, manners, muscles, money, fans, sex appeal, a college education, need I go on?

Carter: *still crying* Well I, um have, lets see, hmmm oh yeah, I have money. Unfortunately if I want to get laid, I have to use most of it on hookers. That and drugs to help me cope with having to pay for sex. Sometimes I use the drugs to get the bitches so fucked up, the sex is free.

Harry: Gesh, you really are one fucked up guy. Well anyways, lets go to our last commercial break of the night. Our main event is next.

Carter: *still crying* I just want to be loved. I need to go, um, satisfy myself before the next match, that interview got me worked up..

Harry: Carter, you need help.

Carter: I know, I asked that hooker to come here after the show.

Harry: That’s not what I ment, nevermind. Lets go to commercial


Harry: Ok we are back for our main event. Mike Muir versus Silva. Muir said he will win this one for Harry Richards.

Carter: So its nap time? Wake me when its over.

Harry: Mike Muir is one of the biggest rising stars in this sport- he has a bright future in EWA

Carter: *in a baby voice* Mike Muir is one of the biggest rising stars in this sport- he has a bright future in this EWA

Mike Muir, why the hell is he smiling? (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AvTrOGSJlWY)

Carter: I still hate this guy, I hate him, I hate him!

Harry: Why?

Carter: I just hate him, there is nothing great about him. He comes from Mississippi, fucking inbreed rednecks come from there.

Harry: He has been undefeated so far in his time here in EWA

Carter: That doesn’t mean anything, he sucks.

Harry: Winning means everything.

Carter: So?, I don’t care. *Muir stops by some fans wanting photos taken with him, then enters the ring, crowd is chanting his name.*

Silva-He is mean, dangerous and weird. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9XnNk5_U3Q4&)

Carter: I hope he does the same thing to Muir as what he did to Richards earlier.

Harry: Lets hope not.

Carter: I am kind of jealous of Silva, he touched Barbie’s boobies. But really who hasn’t? Besides me of course.

Harry: You know she is not really like that- everybody always confuse her with her lil sis Sasha who has been hanging out backstage. She will do anybody.

Muir vs Silva

AJ/Muir Xpac/Silva

start watching @ 2:55, stop watching @ 14:41

*Muir kicks out of the pin attempt.*

Harry: That was close. I will say, Silva is impressing me tonight- I can’t believe I am saying that.

Carter: Why not?*Silva kicks Muir in his back a few times, gets behind him and lays the sleeper on him.*Carter: Its over now! Its over now! Its over now! Nobody gets out of Silva’s sleeper*Muir tries to fight it for about a minute, but Silva tightens his grip. Muir’s face is turning red. The ref raises Muir’s arm once- it drops, the ref raises Muir’s arm again, it drops. The crowd is chanting “Lets go Muir, Lets Go Muir…etc.”*Carter: And Silva has this in the won. Just a few more seconds.

Harry: I believe so. I have never seen anybody get out of Silva’s sleeper.

*The ref checks Muir one last time by raising his arm. This time it does not drop. Crowd is chanting “Lets Go Muir, Silva Sucks, Lets Go Muir, Silva Sucks, etc.”*Carter: Silva Rules Dammit.*Muir works one of his hands toward Silva’s ear and pulls real hard on it causing Silva to let go*Carter: Hey, Muir cheated, he needs to be DQ’d.

Harry: I didn’t see it, neither did the ref.

*Silva is furious, he hits Muir with a low blow, then swings Muir into the ropes. As Muir is bouncing back, Silva grabs Muir and suplexes him. Silva then climbs to the top turnbuckle. Muir slowly gets up, looking groggy. Silva comes off the top rope but Muir steps out the way and leans against the rope. Silva hits the mat chest first.*

Harry: That was a close one and these guys have been going at it for almost 20 minutes, they have to be tired.

Carter: Come on Silva!*Muir is still leaning against the rope trying to get his bearings back. Silva slowly gets up too. Silva makes a mad rush at Muir, only to eat a superkick- which sends Silva out the ring.*

Harry: Holey shit that superkick was fucking awesome.

Carter: Watch, Muir gets another tainted win- this time a count out.


03-05-2012, 03:09 AM
*The ref starts counting.




Silva finally starts to get upFour


Silva starts walking towards the back.

Harry: Wait, Silva’s giving up?


Muir gets out the ring and goes after Silva


Muir punches Silva in the small of the back and starts dragging him back to the ring

Carter: Muir should have just let him leave, that fucking loser.

Harry: I think Muir just wants to punish him some more.


*Muir pushes Silva back into the ring and grabs a chair before entering the ring. The ref makes him throw it down and Muir finally gets back in the ring.*Carter: See he was gonna cheat again.

Harry: Nope, just send Silva a message. I really don’t think Muir is concerned about winning now.

*Silva crawls to the ring ropes and pulls himself up. The ref is holding Muir while this is going on. Silva then rushes towards the ref and Muir- pushing the ref out the way. The ref then gets in Silva’s face warning him he is about to get DQ’d if he touches him again. Silva then turns his attention to Muir. They trade punches back and forth for a few seconds until Silva punches Muir in the face with his fist. Muir’s nose is bleeding now. The ref pushes Silva back and gives him yet another warning. Muir grabs Silva from behind and suplexes him twice in a row. Silva is slow to get up and Muir is waiting for him. Muir sets up the Styles Clash on Silva, executing it perfectly. Muir goes for the pin.*

Harry: He was not lucky trying that the first time, but this time, wow, perfect Styles clash or as Muir calls it- the Redneck Ride.




WINNER- Mike Muir

Carter: Dammit to hell!

Harry: What? He won fair and square. He is on a roll.

*The ref raises Muir’s hand in victory. All of a sudden Blain is behind him in the ring and clobbers him from behind with a double axe handle blow, knocking him down. He then follows up with some clubbing blows to his back*Carter: Haha! Muir’s screwed now. *Silva is now making his way back to his feet. Raden notices this, and stares a hole in him, but Silva holds his ground and stares right back. They go face to face, and we have a stare off between these two monsters.*

Harry: This is going to be good

*After several seconds of intensity, both of their heads slowly turn to face Muir, who is making his way back to his feet groggilyCarter: Hell yeah it is, this is gonna be a BEAT DOWN!

*ignore pin*

Harry: Holy shit, double chokeslam from these two giants

*Raden then pulls Muir up to his feet, and then lifts him up as if he is going to bodyslam him, but instead rests him on his shoulder then says a single word*Blain: Piledriver*This causes Silva to smile manically. Raden then hands Muir’s prone body over to Silva so he is in the perfect position for a tombstone. Just as he’s going to hit it, Blain shouts out*Blain: WAIT!*He then slides out of the ring and from under it grabs a steel chair. He then climbs back into the ring and sets up the chair, then points to it*

Harry: No! Not this. We’ve already seen one injury from this maneuver tonight; we don’t want to see another

Carter: Speak for yourself. I hate Muir*Just as Silva is about to end Muir, a guy hits the ring. His movements are a blur as he swiftly knocks out Silva with a superkick and then goes for another one on Blain but Blain ducksBlain then swings at the mystery guy, but he ducks and follows up with a big clothesline sending Blain over the top rope and out of the ring

Blain pounds on the mat as the guy celebrate in the ring. People start recognising him, and a huge cheer breaks out through the arena*Carter: Is that-

Harry: That’s JMan! As in Warfare World Heavyweight Champion JMan!

Carter: What’s he doing here?

Harry: I don’t know, be he couldn’t have arrived at a better time. He just saved Muir from what could have been a serious injury. That’s all we have time for tonight. This has been PAIN! I’ve been Harry Esel and he’s been Carter Davis. Thanks for watching, and we hope to see you again next week

*The show ends with JMan and Muir celebrating in the ring as Blain stalks up the ramp in anger*

03-05-2012, 04:00 AM
Johnny Hot's "Trapped in the Closet" Part 2!

*And in walks CJ & DJ's brother EJ. Faith and Hot look at each other like "What the fuck is going on?"*

Hot (thinking to himself): This is some deep shit.

Hot (out loud): So you're gonna tell me this is who you've been talking to?

Luke: Yes

Hot: No

Luke: Yes

Hot: No

Luke: It's the truth!

Hot: All of y'all asses crazy! Let me up out this door! This is way more than I bargained for!

Faith: Wait, I'm sure we can fix this!

Hot: Hell nah! I ain't got a damn thing to do with this!

Faith: But wouldn't you like to know how it all began?

*Hot thinks to himself*

Hot: You got three fuckin' minutes!

*No one says anything*

Hot: Someone better start talkin!

Faith: I've just got one question Luke- how could ya do something like this I'm so hurt!

Luke: Oh please, you got some nerve! With all your club hopping, lying saying you were shopping! And now fucking him in our home, and you're calling me wrong?

Faith: Yeah you caught me cheating, that much I agree, but don't you think this is a little extreme!?!

Luke: You are my girlfriend, sleeping behind my back! Now I come home and you've got this dick in the closet, how extreme is that?

Faith: But she's a he!

Luke: Come on, you can't judge me!

Faith: Luke this is crazy!

Hot: Stop arguing!!! I did NOT stay here to hear y'all chew each other out! So get to the point, OR I SWEAR I'M OUT!

EJ: Excuse me please, but I think I can explain what's going on here. My name is EJ, and I've known Luke about a year. Sneaking around with him has been a living hell! In and out of motels.

*Hot points his gun at EJ*

Hot: Bro, spare me the details!

Luke: EJ please, don't say another word!

Faith: Luke you son of a bitch!

Luke: Cathy go to hell!

Hot: I thought your name was Faith! That's what you said at the party! Man this is gettin' scary, I'm gonna shoot somebody!

Luke: Cathy this is all your fault!

*Faith throws a pillow at Luke*

Faith: You were creeping too, the only difference is you didn't get caught!!

EJ: We're in love!!

Faith: Love my ass!

EJ: I loved you're husband's ass!

*Hot shoots in the air and everyone dives on the floor*

Hot: Now none of you sons of bitches say a word! All this shit I'm going through is absurd!

*Hot takes out his phone and calls Iva's house*

Man: Hello?

*Hot looks shocked and hangs up*


*Hot runs out the door with Luke, EJ and Faith laying on the floor scared out of their minds. Hot runs to his car, gets in, and starts going 85mph to Iva's house. He's almost there when a policeman pulls him over*

Hot: God damn it!!

*Policeman walks over to the car*

Policeman: Licence and registration please.

*Hot looks up at him*

Hot: Hey... I know you from somewhere... Van?!?! Is that you!?!

Van: Hot? Oh hey man.

Hot: Listen man, let me explain.

Van: No excuses and no exceptions.

*Van gives Hot a ticket*

Van: Have a nice day Johnny.

Hot: Yeah right.

*Hot drives away to Iva's house. He goes in the back door, walks up to the room, and sees the shower's on. He thinks he sees two people in there, rips open the shower curtain. But it's only Iva*

Iva: Johnny? What the fuck are you doing!?!

Hot: Woman I called this house and a man picked up the phone!!

Iva: Johnny, did you forget that Will I Am came home?

Hot: Oh... Yeah... Shit sorry girl. I forgot he was in jail!! Damn, what an idiot! Punching a policeman in the face!

Iva: In all fairness, he was aiming for DJ.

Hot: Listen I'm sorry. A policeman named Van just stopped me, and I'm all flustered. I'm really-

*Iva cuts him off and they start to kiss. They get into bed, and are getting it on, but all of a sudden Hot looks down and sees a used condom. He gets up real fast and puts on his clothes*

Hot: Well, well, well... What the fuck is this!?! A condom in my bed? You better start talking bitch, before I take a match and burn this mother fucker down! You better start talking and start talking right god damn now!

Iva: Baby... I am so speechless.

Hot: My baby... You gonna be breathless. If you don't start talking quick... I'm gonna have a fit! You don't know what you're fucking with! You better cut the bull shit!

*Hot starts to look around to see if someone's still there. Hot whips out his Beretta*

Hot: Is he still here?

*Iva shakes her head no as Hot looks behind every door, in every closet*

Iva: He left right after you called!

Hot: What the fuck were you thinking? You think I wouldn't find this out? You must be crazy or on crack to have someone all up in my motherfucking house!

Iva: I can't take no more. I think you've made your point... But it's time to even the score! I know all about last night. Where you went after the club. That's right fucker I was there, with this guy in the back of the club.

Hot: I thought you were with your girls.

Iva: I thought you were with your guys. You were at that bitches house! And don't even try to act surprised!

Hot: Babe-

Iva: Shut up! Don't you say a word! Ain't nothing you can say that I haven't already heard!

Hot: Woman don't you try to turn it all around! Because the fact still remains there was someone else up in our house!

Iva: Let me explain.

Hot: I don't give a shit, just give me his name!

Iva: Uh...

Hot: UH WHAT!?!

Iva: Sit down in that chair!

Hot: Screw off, I'm standing up!

Iva: ...I'm too scared to tell you cuz of what you might do...

Hot: You better give me this man's name and I'm not playing with you!

Iva: Do you know Miranda?

Hot: Sounds familiar, I'd probably know her if I see her. Anyways, what's that got to do with this man!?!

Iva: You know my friend Barbie?


Iva: Barbie is a friend of mine, who knows a guy named EJ, EJ's cool with this guy named Luke-

Hot: What the fuck?

Iva: Luke's girl's name is Cathy, we both went to high school. She introduced me to, the policeman who stopped you.

03-05-2012, 04:01 AM

*Hot sits there in disbelief. Then just starts laughing and shaking his head at everything that happened that day*

Iva: What? Why do you have that smile on your face?

Hot: Just thinking about all the shit I've been through!

*Iva starts laugh a little*

Iva: I've been through it too!

*They both laugh together, and sit on the floor next to each other*

Iva: I can't believe that idiot picked up the phone!

*MEANWHILE: Will I Am finally gets out of prison and is on his way home*

Iva: Listen babe, I'm sorry for all the lying.

Hot: Just listen to all the drama that I've had to deal with!

Iva: I want to hear it all!

Hot: First of all got a hang over, was trapped in the closet, slept with who knows, threatened to kill a pastor-

Iva: What!?!

Hot: Baby this is know lie, he had a lover, turned out to be a man!

Iva: Damn, you've been through a lot of shit!

Hot: Plus I got a ticket!

*MEANWHILE: Van is driving home, but turns around out of concern for Iva. He goes around to the back door and sees the door kicked in. He pulls out his gun. He runs upstairs where Iva and Hot are laughing, but to him it sounds like someone is crying*

Iva (laughing): Johnny you're killing me!

*Van busts in the room and points his gun at Hot*

Van: Motherfucker freeze!

Hot: Wait... Van you motherfucker! I thought we were friends!

Van: Friends? Hell no bitch!

Iva: Baby... I mean Van- everything is cool!

Van: Iva I've got this- I know you're sick and tired of this fool!

Hot: Motherfucker get out of my house!



*Hot pulls his Beretta out*

Iva: Please don't!

*Visions of Iva and Van making love are running through Hot's head, making him angrier and angrier*

Van: Put the gun on the floor!

*Hot thinks about it, then puts the gun down. He puts his hands up, and Van winks and smiles at Hot. Hot goes nuts and they start fighting over the gun*


*The gun is swinging around, then all of a sudden POW!*

03-05-2012, 04:02 AM
Johnny Hot's "Trapped in the Closet" Part 4

*Hot and Van look at each other very scared. There's blood everywhere, and Van and Hot can't take their eyes off the bloody body. Iva starts shaking and crying*

Iva: What did you do!?!

Van: See now, I warned you! God what've we done here!?!

Iva: There goes you're whole career!!

Hot: We've gotta do something and we've gotta do something quick!

*Van picks up his gun and points it at Hot and Iva*

Van: I've got a wife at home, I can't have any part of this!

Iva: Van I can't believe that you just said what you said! Cuz that's not what you were saying when your ass was in my bed!

Hot: We can deal with this later! But right now we've gotta use are heads! Did anybody even think to check if he's alive or dead!?!

*Iva is about to have a nervous break down*

Iva: You bastards! You've gone and killed my brother!

Hot: No Iva-

Iva: Oh yes, you killed my brother! He just got outta prison- he's been through a lot! And he was ready to give up all this shit, and to come home and get shot!

*Will I Am is lying in her arms, bloody and limp*

Hot: Baby it wasn't my fault! This man had a gun on me! Besides, how was I to know you were getting down with this crooked ass policeman!

Van: Now wait a minute-

Hot: No you wait a minute! This is my girl, we had a life until you came in and fucked it up!

Iva: Now Johnny hold on! Even though he was in our home don't forget the fact that you were out there creeping in another man's home!

*Will starts coughing*

Iva: Will!?! Are you okay!?! Baby brother are you okay!?!

Will: I ain't gonna die- at least not today. Sis what's going on, why did I get shot? Johnny what's this policeman doing here?

Hot: Come on, tell him cop!

Van: Son, we've gotta get you to a hospital and take a look at that wound!

Will: Nah I'm okay it's just my shoulder, I just need a bathroom!

*Will and Hot go to the bathroom and gets him all patched up. Hot tells him everything that happened*

Will: Man, I would've been better off in prison!

*Someone bangs on the door*

Hot: Oh no, here we go again!!! When the hell is this shit gonna end!?!

Iva: Baby you got that?

Hot: NO!

Iva: Why?

Hot: I'm not opening another motherfucking door!

Van: I got it, man of the house my ass!

*Hot grabs Van*

Hot: I'll get it, but whoever it is Ima put their ass on glass!

*Hot goes and gets his Beretta off the floor*

Will: Yeah Johnny that's what I'm talking about! Point that shit towards the door!

*Will grabs Van's gun then points it at the door*

Will: Officer, arrest me later!

*Will opens the door and standing there with a spatula in his hand it's Cody the Nosy Neighbor!! He's ready to help Iva because he heard the gunshot, so he ran over with a spatula in his hand! Iva invites Cody in and Van leaves**Van gets in the car and gets right on the phone*

Van: Let me get my crazy ass home!

*His wife Ashley answers the phone*

Ashley: Darling where've you been, I've been worried about you!

Van: Police business honey, I can't wait to tell you what I've been going through!

Ashley: Are you okay?

Van: Yes.

Ashley: Do you need anything?

Van: No.

Ashley: I baked you a pie.

Van: Mmmmmm

Ashley: You're favorite cherry!

Van: I'll be there soon. Sorry I kept you hanging.

Ashley: It's okay honey take your time, I've still got some cleaning.

*MEANWHILE: Cody's telling Iva, Johnny and Will everything*

Cody: Ah knew there was su'in wrong 'bout that policemin. Ah was gonna let loose mah dog!

Iva: Oh Cody, you are nuts!

Hot: All I wanted to know was what you were gonna do with that spatula!

Will: Cody's a G no doubt!

*MEANWHILE: Van shows up at his house. Ashley didn't expect Van to be home so soon. She rushes to him at the door and kisses him on the cheek*

Ashley: I was in the rest room!

Van: Why'd you say that?

Ashley: I don't know!

Van: Ashley, what're you so jittery for?

Ashley: Uh... Um... Maybe it's that time of the month?

Van: Maybe? Maybe that time of the month?

Ashley: Oh you know what I mean!

Van: I know what came out of your mouth. You said maybe.

Ashley: Baby, let's go upstairs!

*Van walks to the kitchen but she keeps trying to get him to go upstairs*

Ashley: Hun, I bought you some pears.

Van: I'm gonna heat some chicken.

*Ashley starts pacing and thinking to herself*

Van: Baby what's wrong with you!?! Why you walking back and forth, pacing?

*Ashley is thinking "What am I to say!?!* because the truth of the matter is she slept with another man that day!*


*Ashley doesn't look at him*


Ashley: Yes?

Van: LOOK AT ME!!!

*Ashley turns around nervously*

Van: What the hell's wrong with you!?!

*Ashley tries to change the subject back to pears and tries to get him to go upstairs*


*Van starts to feel likes something's not right*


*Van looks around*

Van: Something is really weird...

Ashley: Why do you say that?

Van: Because ever since I came home you've been trying to get me out of here, plus you're face has gone from white to red. Plus when came through the door you acted like you'd seen a ghost! Girl if you're hiding something Ima flip the fuck out!

*Van hears something crawling*


Ashley: It sounds like it came from upstairs! It sounds like the plumbing!

Van: Woman, that sound did not come from upstairs! I'll be damned if you're not up to something! Now that sound I heard, it came from the kitchen!

*Van looks over by the stove while Ashley eases over by the dishes. Van pushes the fridge and looks behind it. He then looks Ashley in the face, and it looks like she's gonna have a heart attack. He then notices the pie on the counter, and there's a piece missing. Just then he realizes his wife's allergic to cherry!*

Ashley: Hun, you don't look so good!

Van: Move.

Ashley: No!

Van: Move!

Ashley: No!


*SHE MOVED! Van opens the cabinet, and out jumps a midget!*

03-05-2012, 04:03 AM
*The midget pops out of the cabinet and stomps on Van's toe. It's Alex Kidd!*

Van: Son of a bitch!

*Kidd crawls under the table*

Van: Freeze!

*Van dives over the table and grabs Kidd. He proceeds to punch him repeatedly in the back of the head. Kidd is kicking rapidly but his legs are too short to hit Van*

Kidd: Ashley! Ashley!

Ashley: Darling don't hurt him!

Van: Ashley get your ass back!

*Van continues to hit Kidd and Ashley runs upstairs. She goes in her purse and pulls a phone number out. Van puts Kidd on the table*

Van: What the fuck are you doing in my house!?!

Kidd: Man, I was paid not to tell you!

*Van pulls out his gun*

Van: You're trespassing man, I've got the right to shoot ya!

Kidd: The man that paid me to do this would kill me if I tell!

*Van points the gun in Kidd's face*

Kidd: Oh god, I just shit myself!

*Back at Iva's place Iva, Will and Johnny are playing cards and getting along, when all of a sudden the phone rings*

Johnny: Iva, get the phone!

*Iva answers the phone*

Iva: Hello?

*There's a lady on the other line who's panicking and crying*

Iva: Wait, first tell me who am I talking to?

Lady: My name is Ashley, I found my number in my husband's pocket and I had to call you.


Iva: Ashley, I understand.

*She hangs up*

Hot: Iva who is it?

*Iva gives him the address*

*Back at Van's house he's screaming at Kidd who's crying and lying through his teeth. Van's about to hit him with his gun when Ashley runs down stairs with a double barrel*

Ashley: Van, I can't let you do this!

*Van looks shocked*

Van: ... WHAT!?! You'll shoot me for this fucking midget!?!

Ashley: I love him...

Kidd: No Ashley!

*Van points his gun at Ashley*

Van: We're all gonna die up in this kitchen!

*Van and Ashley are staring each other down, while Kidd takes out his inhaler*

Kidd: This isn't good for my heart!

Van: Baby don't make me do this- put the gun down!

*That's when Will and Johnny bust up in the house, Hot holding his Beretta*

Johnny: Put the gun down!

*Both sniff around and Alex Kidd faints. About five minutes later Kidd finally wakes up*

Kidd: I have nothing to do with this!

Hot: Wait a sec, you look familiar... Have I seen you from somewhere?

Kidd: Man I get around, you probably know me from here or there.

Van: Well take a good look- you might not ever see his face again!

Will: Man, what the hell is that smell, it smells like someone done break wind!

*Ashley starts crying*

Johnny: Now I'm sure we can sort this out, just put the guns down.

Ashley: Van first!

Van: No you go.

Johnny: Just put them down at the same time!

Van and Ashley: No!

Will: Just let me shoot 'em all!

Johnny: I can't let you do that! Besides you just got outta prison, and I'll be damned if you're going back!

Ashley: I will drop my gun if he promises not to hurt Big Man!

Van: That's what you call him!?! That's his name- Big Man!?!

Will: That's you're name?

Kidd: Yeah.

Johnny: Hey man why do they call you that?

Kidd: Because I'm "blessed"!

Johnny: This is too much for me! I can't take no more, I've heard it all, this shit's about to drive me crazy! Man I never should've took my ass to the Paje's club!

Kidd: Paje's! I've been there! That's probably where you know me from!

Van: Hey, hey EJ and Luke let's get back to the matter at hand!

Johnny: Ok, but first there's just thing I've got to understand!

Van: What?

*Hot points his gun at Van*

Johnny: How do you know EJ and Luke?

Van: What you talkin' about man?


Ashley: Hun my stomach!

Will: Who the hell is Luke and EJ!?!

Johnny (with his gun still pointed at Van): Talk to me Van! EJ, Luke?

Ashley: I'm about to throw up!

Van: Man my wife is sick!

Will: I don't believe that shit!

Johnny: Man, how did your wife get sick!?!

Van: She's three months pregnant!

Johnny and Will: OH SHIT!

Ashley: Honey, there's something I need to tell you!

Van: No baby, you don't have to say a word right now!

Ashley: But Van-

Van: Shush Ashley, while I get these fools up at my house!

*Van points his gun at Johnny, who points his gun at Van*

Van: LEAVE! My wife is sick!

Will: Motherfucker you crazy! Watch where you point that shit!

Ashley: Van no!

*Johnny gets a phone call*

Iva: Is everything okay?

Johnny: HELL NO!

*Hot hangs up and Big Man jumps off the table*

Big Man: Listen, I'm just a stripper!

Johnny: A stripper!?!

Will: A midget!?!

Big Man: I strip at this club called Dixie's and that's where I met Ashley!

Ashley: Van-

Van: Not now!

Ashley: Just please let me explain!

Will (whispering to Johnny): Please, just let me shoot this fucker Van!

Johnny: We ain't killing no cop!

*Van points his gun at Hot and Hot points his gun back at Van*.

Ashley: Stop, stop, stop!!! I did it, I admit it, I paid him!

Van: Babe you don't have to say nothing-

Ashley: No, Van, I think you need to hear this! I've been covering for you a long time, been stopping what's on my mind, followed you a few times, when I saw you with her I acted like I was blind!

Van: Just wait a minute Ashley, just what are you trying to tell me!?!

Ashley: Not only am I sleeping with Big Man, he's my baby's daddy!

*Big Man faints again*

03-05-2012, 04:04 AM
Johnny Hot's "Trapped in the Closet" Part 6


*Faith, Luke and EJ finally get the courage to get up off the ground*

Luke: EJ are you okay?

*Faith closes the door*

EJ: Luke what the hell just happened?

Luke: I'll tell ya, she just almost got us shot here in this room!

Faith: I almost go you shot? You've got some nerve, sneaking in and out of motels now there's no telling what I've got!

EJ: Now what do you mean by that?

Faith: Figure it out!

EJ: Oooooh, she don't know me, Luke I will cut this bitch right now!

*EJ pulls out a knife but Luke jumps up and grabs his arm*

Faith: C'mon and try it mother fucker!

EJ: Fuck you hoe!

Faith: Just try it!

EJ: Let me at her!

Faith: Try it bitch!

EJ: Skank!

Faith: TRY IT!

EJ: Motherfucker I swear to god!

Faith: Try it!

*EJ takes out his earing*

EJ: C'mon!

Faith: Try it!

*Luke is holding EJ back*

EJ: Bitch c'mon!

Faith: TRY IT!

Luke: CALM THE FUCK DOWN!!! C'mon EJ we'll talk about it later.

Faith: Wow, this shit is sad.

Luke: Well it is what it is, we might as well talk about it, try to get some understanding-

Faith: Understand this? I doubt it!

*Phone is ringing but everyone is ignoring it. EJ and Faith yell at each other again*

Luke: I said calm down! You're both acting like damn fools! A wife, pastor, and a deacon- now how would that look in the news?

Faith: A wife and a pastor looks good on the news, but a pastor and a deacon- now Luke you don't want me to answer you!


Faith: You better get your flaming ass out of this house, cuz he forever belongs to me!

Luke: C'mon, nobody's leaving now. Until we figure this out, we're all staying right here.

*Phone rings again and Faith answers it*

Faith: Hello?

Iva: Hey it's Iva, can you talk?

Faith: I'm in the middle of something right now.

Iva: Girl this can't wait!

Faith: Okay, hurry up I'm listening.

Iva: Okay- remember the policeman you introduced me to?

Faith: Yeah. What about him?

Iva: Shit was tight until this morning when everything went wrong!

EJ: What the hell?

Luke: I don't know!

Faith: Dammit I'm on the phone! Go ahead Iva!

Iva: Well it all started at this club I was in last night! Van and I sitting in the VIP section, it was great!

Faith: Go on.

Iva: Well me and Van are sitting there laughing and having fun when all of a sudden Johnny comes up in there with some disgusting crusty old wig wearing ass hoe!

Faith: What's the name of the club?

Iva: Paje's.

*Faith thinks "what the fuck!?!"*

Faith: Iva! Iva!

Iva: Girl, I ain't finished!

Faith: Iva listen!

Iva: Then the policeman's wife Bridget, was fucking some tiny little midget!

Faith: Iva-

Iva: And then my brother Will came home and-

Faith: Iva!

Luke: Faith, are we gonna finish this conversation or what?

Faith: Luke, I'm on the phone!

Luke: Bitch, I don't give a fuck!

Faith: Iva, shut up girl, hell, just listen to me! You know that crusty wig wearing ass hoe you were talking about?

Iva: Uh huh.

Faith: Well-

Iva: Well what?

Faith: Girl...

Iva: Cathy?

Faith: I'm sorry girl... but that hoe was me!

03-05-2012, 04:05 AM
*Will and Johnny get in Johnny's car*

Johnny: First off, straighten your hat.

*Will turns his hat forwards*

Johnny: Second, I'm about to go holler at someone, so I need you to watch my back.

Will: Man, you ain't even gotta worry about me, I gotcha!

Johnny: You've got me alright, but you're hot headed! Just like when you hit that cop!

Will: Man, why you bringing that shit up, you know that was just a misdemeanor!

Johnny: Misdemeanor my ass, you were there for a fucking year!

Will: Yeah, but that's because of Barbie and that bitch Miranda!

Johnny: Man, you're sister asked me about a Miranda!

Will: What the fuck did Iva ask you?

Johnny: She asked if I knew her. I said she sounds familiar.

*Will pulls out a joint*

Johnny: Hold up a minute, what the fuck you doing?

Will: What do you mean?

Johnny: Is that a cigarette?

Will: Hell nah, this is weed!

*Johnny pulls over*

Johnny: Ah hell no!

Will: One for the road?

Johnny: You crazier than a fish with titties if you think I'm gonna let you smoke that shit up in my car! Now throw that shit out!

*Will laughs*

Johnny: Throw that shit out!

Will: ... Shit!

*Will throws it out and Johnny starts driving again*

Johnny: Now this Barbie and Miranda, what's that all about?

*Cody is peaking out his window. Cody's wife Susan turns over*

Susan: Cody, bring your nosy ass back to bed!

Cody: Susan, Ah don' like that tone yer takin' with me!

Susan: Oh shut up Cody, you always creeping, not respecting other's privacy!

Cody: Ah can look out mah god damn winder whenever Ah want!

Susan: Yeah well what you lookin at... What you lookin at... Hmm?

*Cody and Susan argue*

Cody: Take yer grumpy ass back to bed!

Susan: Shut your ass up! Shit! What's a girl got to do to get some sleep around here!?!

Cody: Ah go to hell Susan, you don't tell me what to do!

Susan: ... Then do it then!

Cody: Ah will do it then!

Susan: Do it!

Cody: Ah will do it!

Susan: Go and look!

Cody: Ahma go an' look!

Susan: I hope a pigeon flies by and shits on your face!

Cody: If it do... If it do... Ah'm gonna wipe the shit on yer face!


*They're still driving hours later*

Will: So man, where we going?

Johnny: Don't worry about that, just be on the look at.... And Will, your hat!

*Will turns his hat forwards*

Will: Oh my bad!

Johnny: When we get there keep the car in drive and whatever you do- keep on watching!

Will: Like I said before, don't trip, bro in law just handle your business!

*They finally get there. It's a restaurant. Hot gets out of the door*

Johnny: I'm about to see if I can try to get this bitch to talk to me. We made a deal and she owes me some money.

Will: Call me if you need me.

Johnny: Everything should go smooth!

Will: Johnny don't make me have to go in there and smack me a couple of fools!

*An hour later Faith walks in and sits with Johnny*

Faith: What the hell happened!?!

Johnny: First of all keep your voice down, I ain't trying to get loud up in here, second of all how the hell was I supposed to know your man was a fucking queer?

Waitress: I'll be right with you guys.

Johnny: Girl we had a deal, the plan was for me to come home with you I did my part. So don't go asking me what the hell happened when I didn't even wanna do this shit from the start!

Faith: Yeah right you didn't want to do this but your ass got paid! Johnny-

Johnny: Hold up bitch are you crazy!?! Don't be saying my name!

Faith: Oh well, how come you didn't tell me you were married to Iva!?!

Johnny: Hey, between all the fake wigs and fake names I the fuck was I supposed to know Iva was your friend!?!

Faith: Sssssh, here comes the waitress again!

Waitress: Sorry I kept y'all waiting, man this place is busy. It's always crowded about this time, can I get y'all started with something to drink?

Johnny: I'll just have a coffee, two sugars and light on the cream.

Faith: Hell, I need a drink!

Waitress: Girl, I hear that, I'll be right back with you're drinks!

Johnny: ... She looks familiar to me...

Faith: What?

Johnny: Nothing. Anyways, I thought the plan was for me to go to the house with you, and get caught!?!

Faith: It was...

Johnny: Then what happene-

Faith: I changed my mind!

*Hot gets up*

Johnny: I'm blowing this motherfucker, you're wasting my time!

Faith: Wait, don't go!

Johnny: Then god dammit talk to me!

Faith: You wouldn't understand...

*Hot sits back down*

Johnny: Try me.

Faith: Well it all started one night when I was sitting in the living room. And it sounded like there was someone in the bedroom, moaning and groaning. And I knew it wasn't me, so my curiosity led me to believe that he was cheating on me.

Johnny: How come you didn't just ask him, give him the benefit of the doubt?

Faith: Because a woman knows, a woman just knows when shit is wrong!

Johnny: Calm down... Here comes the waitress.

Waitress: Like I said, it's busy at this time, but thank you for being patient. So can I get y'all anything else?

Johnny: No, that'll be all.

*Johnny gets a phone call*

Johnny: Hello?

Will: Is everything all right?

Johnny: We're working it out.

Will: Well call me if you need me, you know I've got your back.

Johnny: No doubt.

*Johnny hangs up*

Faith: Anyways, let me get back to telling you what went wrong. Where was I... Oh yeah, the day I heard him arguing on the phone.

*Faith proceeds to tell him everything that happened*

Johnny: You're saying he had sex with another man on the phone?

Faith: Yes.

Johnny: I can't talk about this.

Faith: Why?

Johnny: Cuz this shit's getting uncomfortable!

03-05-2012, 04:06 AM

*Will gets a call*

Will: Yeah what up?

?: You I got that information on Miranda.

Will: Talk to me dawg.

?: Word on the street is she stopped whoring and doing heroine out her momma's basement and job, haha!

Will: Haha's right, the day that bitch stops whoring is the day pigs fly, ya feel me? So where the bitch work at a candy store?

?: Nah, the job that she got's supposed to be legit, like a waitress at some restaurant or some shit.

Will: What restaurant?

?: One sec, my people haven't hit me. Supposedly the same place Barbie works.

Will: You shitting me? Where this place at?

?: Hold on, I'm getting a call.


Johnny: Well then why do you still love him?

Faith: Because when I saw him with EJ I just couldn't lose him to him!

*Waitress comes back and brings the bill. Johnny slides her $100*

Johnny: Keep the change.

Waitress: Damn, thanks. Keep it real y'all!

*Outside, Will's info giver finally calls back*

Will: Finally! What do I look like an idiot?

?: Why?

Will: Cuz of the way you've got me waiting so long!

?: Don't worry, I got where the bitch lives, works and all!

Will: Yeah, I'm listening.

?: It's a place around Jeffrey Manor, a place called Shay-Shay's diner.

Will: Did you forget I just did a year, I need you to give me the exact address!

?: 9501, right off Hall Street.

*Back in the restaurant, Johnny looks at the waitress*

Johnny: Excuse me, but it just seems like I know ya.

Will (in the car): Man, that address sounds familiar...

Miranda (to Johnny): Where you know me from?

? (to Will): Shay-Shay's Diner.

*Will looks up at the place he's at*

Will: What the fuck...

*Johnny looks at the waitress's nametag*

Johnny: Holy shit.... Miranda!

*Miranda starts backing up*

Will (to ?): Man, I'm right outside of the fucking place!

Johnny (to Miranda): Hold up... I just wanna talk to you for a minute!

Miranda: BARBIE! BARBIE!!!!!

*Barbie runs from the kitchen with a skillet. Miranda breaks a beer bottle and points it at Johnny*

Miranda: Fucker, I will cut you with this glass!

*Faith runs out the door as Miranda and Barbie start walking towards Johnny*

Miranda: We take Tai Bo classes!

*Will runs inside*

Will: I will kill both of y'all knucklehead asses! Well, well, well. If it ain't Laverne and Shirley!

Miranda: Hey Will.

Will: Bitch, don't "Hey Will" me!

*Barbie pulls Miranda back*

Johnny: Come down bro.

Will: Fuck that, I just did one whole year for these hoes!

Barbie: Who you calling a hoe?

Will: You, bitch!

Barbie: Motherfucker I'll kill you're ass!

Will: What!?!

*Miranda is holding Barbie back, and Johnny is holding Will back*

Barbie: I'll kill you bitch!

Will: With a skillet?

Barbie: Damn right!

Johnny: Fucker think about it-

Will: A fuckin' year!

Johnny: This time it'll be worse! Now come here

*Johnny brings Will to the side*

Miranda (to Barbie): Calm down!

Johnny (to Will): Look I know you're mad, but before you start making threats you better not forget that you're out but you're still on house arrest!

Will: Cool man, I just wanna ask them some questions about what happened!

Johnny: Good, just calm your ass down or you're going back to the car!

Will: I got you!

Johnny: Bro! Chill.

Will: How ya doing ladies? Miranda? Barbie? Please excuse me. Where are my manners, cuz that was very rude of me.

Johnny: Will-

Will: Nah man, I admit the way I came up in here was kinda wild. But that's nothing compared to what's gonna go down if these bitches don't tell me what went down!

Johnny: Mother fucker slow your roll, calm the fuck down!

Barbie: C'mon!

Will: Johnny, fuck that! All cuz of these bitches my ass got thrown in motherfucking jail!

Johnny: What the fuck you gonna do, kill these bitches?

Will: Yeah!

Johnny: Then what? Then what? LIFE FUCKER! They'll lock your ass up and throw away the key! Man forget about it.

Will: No.

Johnny: Then let me talk to them!

Will: They're sleazy bitches man, you can't trust them!

Johnny: It ain't about me trusting them, it's about you trusting me! Fucker what's wrong with you, you forget I did 2 years in the brig myself? Now I'm telling you I ain't going back, not for you, not for these bitches, and not for nobody fucking else! So let me talk to em- I got this!

*Johnny whips out his Beretta*

Johnny: Ladies... Ladies, ladies, ladies, ladies!

*Hot puts the gun down*

Johnny: Now ladies... It's very obvious that we have a problem here! A lot of unanswered questions- let's answer them so we can get out of here! Okay, who's gonna start talking first?

03-05-2012, 04:07 AM
*Miranda starts crying*

Miranda: We just went out for some fun!

Barbie: It was supposed to be a vacation!

Will: I'll show your asses a motherfucking vacation!

Johnny: Will!

Will: Straight to the motherfucking morgue!

Johnny: WILL! What did I tell you!?! Ladies?

Barbie: It started out well, but then Will got high and drunk. He saw DJ, and tried to punch him, but accidentally punched a motherfucking cop in the back of the head! He told us to run and we got in the car. He drove away and the cop gave chase. He was drunk and swerving, laughing and blasting "Mary Jane".

Johnny: Did you ask him to stop?

Barbie: Yeah I did, but he just kept yelling "RICK JAMES BITCH!"

Will: Man I was drunk!

Johnny: Drunk? You were drunk?

Will: I don't know man, I was just trying to have a little fun!

Johnny: Man I'm disgusted. Fucker, no wonder your ass got busted!

Will: Who's side are you on!?! There's!?!

Johnny: Well let's see, reckless endangerment, DUI, high, punched a cop- YEAH!

Will: This is some bullshit!!!

Barbie: Can I finish?

Johnny: Please.

Barbie: To make a long story short-

Miranda: Barbie, please let me explain. Ya see, Will was acting crazy, swerving and stuff. Barbie starts swearing, and I look behind me and see the police.

Barbie: Then all of a sudden Will starts speeding, saying "They ain't gonna stop us!"

Miranda: Then a couple minutes later here comes more squad cars, and a fucking helicopter!

Johnny: Did he stop then?

Miranda: No!

Barbie: Luckily the raggedy ass car just stopped. Then here we are, the three fucking stooges laid out in the dirt! Then we get put in the back of the car with Will yelling "DON'T SAY A FUCKING WORD!" Then all of a sudden we're in some police room, and two cops are yelling "You're man Will said the ones who hit the cop were you!" I said "What the fuck?" And they said "Sister your light is looking kinda dim" Miranda started crying and I said "I ain't going down, not for him!" Now you have it Will, the one who gave you up was me! Miranda protected you!

Will: Protected me for what!?!

Miranda: Because at the time I was pregnant with you're baby!!

Johnny: Mmm... Hey Will, it looks like you've gone and had a little Will!

Will: Oh no no, this girl is tripping J.

Miranda: Trippin?

Will: Yeah, your lying ass.... How do you know that baby belonged to me?

*Miranda's eye starts twitching*

Miranda: How do I know Will?

Johnny: Are you okay?

Miranda: How do I know?

Barbie: I knew his ass was gonna deny this when he saw you, let's go!

Johnny: Wait a minute...

Will: Bye.

Johnny: Will!

Will: See ya!

Miranda: See ya in mother fucking court!

Johnny: Will, ladies, please, don't go yet.

Will: They need to learn some respect!

Johnny: WILL!

Will: Holla!

Barbie: Fucker, she's gonna holler at that motherfucking child support check!

Johnny: Now none of y'all are going nowhere! Let's put this shit in the past!

Barbie: We'll talk to you, but we ain't got nothing to say to his Shrek looking ass!

Will: Man, who's this fever blister looking bitch think she's talking to!?!

Johnny: Will...

Barbie: YOU, motherfucker!

Johnny: Damn Barbie calm down!

*Miranda's eye starts twitching even more*

Miranda: I can't take this shit no more!!!

Johnny: Barbie, what's wrong with you're girl's eye? It keeps like flinching.

Barbie: A year ago a pimp hit her in the eye and ever since then she's had this nervous condition.

Will: You Johnny, come here a second!

*They go to the side*

Will: What you think?

Johnny: Bout what?

Will: Am I that baby's father?

Johnny: I don't know, it's hard to tell, especially since you were in jail. One thing I do believe is that the bitch didn't turn you in!

Will: I don't know, fucker, I'm feeling kinda strange!

Johnny: Iva told me dawg that you were thinking about making a change!

Barbie: I've got to lock this place up, and you two have to go!

Johnny: What time does this place close?

Barbie: About 11:45...

*Johnny whips out his Beretta and points it at Barbie*

Johnny: Well act like it's quarter to four! Talk to the girl Will, it might be what you need!

Will: A family man, me? Man, I'm too deep in these streets!

Johnny: That's exactly my point, this shit will settle you down! You need to get up off of that bullshit, and holla at that girl right now! Go.

Will: Johnny man-

Johnny: Go!

*Will gives Johnny a high five*

Will: Fuck it yo! Miranda, you wanna work this out!?!

*Barbie starts french kissing Miranda for a full 20 seconds*

Barbie: I'm fucking her now!!!


03-05-2012, 04:10 AM
*Hot points his gun at Barbie and Miranda*

Will: That's right bro in law, shoot em!

*Hot thinks about it*

Will: Then man let me-

*Will reaches for the gun but Hot turns the gun on Will and Will backs off. Hot puts the gun down*

Johnny: You two are lucky I support that shit, or I would of shot both of y'all asses! C'mon Will, let's get the fuck up outta here!

Will: Wha-What!?! You're just gonna let them get away with this here shit!?!

Johnny: What? Kissing? Fucker, come on!

*Hot walks away but Will stays*

Johnny: Bring ya ass!

*Hot walks away and Will thinks*

Will: Shit!

*Will follows Johnny, but turns around and gets in Miranda & Barbie's faces*

Will: Fuck that! I'ma go by me a gun, then I'm gonna come back and set this motherfucker off! Believe that!

*Hot walks back inside*

Johnny: Bring ya ass fucka!

Will: Give me my motherfucking coat!

*Will picks his jacket up and leaves. Hot and Will get in the car and drive off*

Will: Man, I can't believe these bitches, all the shit I done went through and Miranda's ass is kissing that bitch OOOH!!!!!

Johnny: Fucka calm your ass down that's just watcha ass get! Didn't I tell ya not to fuck around with these damn tricks!

Will: OOOH! But you're the one who told me to "Holla at her!"

Johnny: Fucka all I was tryin to do was make things better! But who would've ever known that bitch was dykin?

*Hot laughs*

Will: Well it's good to know that you're having a good time and think this shit is funny.

Johnny: Bullshit to the side fucka, now start talking to me about how to get this money!

*Iva calls but Will is still swearing and screaming. Iva calls again*

Johnny: Hey it's Iva man, calm your voice down! Hello?


Johnny: Iva?


Johnny: Baby we're getting a bad connection.


Iva: Can you hear me now?

Johnny: No.

Iva: Can you hear me now?

Johnny: Baby?

Iva: Can you hear me now?

Johnny: Okay, I got you!

Iva: Good. Now Johnny where you been, I'm waiting on you!

Johnny: I'm on my way home to you!

Iva: Movies or no?

Johnny: Something came up and I've got something else to do.

Iva: Well Elfrieda called.

Johnny: What did mama want?

Iva: The same old thing, just talking about Amadeus.

Johnny: What daddy do this time?

Iva: Drinking and cursing people out- she put his ass in jail!

Johnny: Daddy be trippin, he think he big pimpin-

Iva: Well Elfrieda say he touch her he's gonna be limpin!

Johnny: I'll be home in a bit.

Iva: Hurry up I'm cooking!