View Full Version : JBW Magazine!

10-10-2011, 04:18 PM
Hello everybody and welcome to the JBW Magazine Thread.

We would like to ask that nobody comment in this thread. Consider it like the JBW Show Thread. I would explain what to expect from the magazine but I think you all have waited long enough and I believe we should just let the magazine speak for itself.

So, here is the first issue and we would like to thank Jman, K-Jammin, and Kashdinero for their contributions. Thank you for reading and we hope you enjoy it.

JBW Magazine
October 10, 2011

(Just imagine Kashdinero, wearing a suit and a big smile on his face, on the cover.)

Hello and thank you for purchasing the first issue of JBW Magazine.

In this issue we are going to have profiles for JBW wrestlers HolyJose, The Alpha Dog, and Ma$$Dinero. We are also going to have a music break where HolyJose reviews the music you should be listening to and a shooter edition of Epic Games where our very own Chris Wardhick will review the New York destroying Crysis 2 and the game that will make you scratch your head more than once, Deus Ex: Human Revolution. We also have the Indy Spin where we will interview HWA Superstar Dave Sullivan and AWF Superstar Axxel Sonn. Our resident smartass Simon Cole will answer your fan mail and to top it all off we will have an exclusive, you heard it here first, shoot interview with the man on the cover, Mr. Kashdinero!! This is going to turn some heads and you can only read what he has to say right here on JBW Magazine. So without any further ado, let’s get started!

10-10-2011, 04:33 PM
For our first profile, we have HolyJose and this was written by the badass himself. Lets take a look!

Name: HolyJose
Style: technical and powerhouse
Bio prior to JBW: HolyJose was born to immigrant parents in the state of Virginia since 2004 he had gotten heavily into pro wrestling and in his junior year of high school he joined the wrestling team as a heavyweight wrestler. in the 08-09 season he went undefeated and became state champion a high light of his amateur career. After graduating George Mason University with his Psychology degree he decided to start training to be a pro wrestler and quickly enrolled into KYDA Pro Wrestling. After dominating the Indy scene he went to Mexico where he joined CMLL where he and HWA Wrestler "The Angel of Death" formed a dominating tag team known as "God's Grace" or la Gracia De Dios in CMLL. Soon after winning the Tag gold they fought for the CMLL World Title where HolyJose won his first whorl heavyweight championship. After losing both titles due to the Angel of Death's jealousy he went to AAA and quickly became their top star winning the AAA World Heavyweight Championship. While also wrestling in Mexico he was in NJPW where he fought his way to the top and was quickly hated there while holding the AAA World title he also won the IWGP World Heavyweight championship. Though after 6 months of holding both belts he felt the need for more competion so he lost the titles and went off to Europe where he wrestled in Irish Whip Pro Wrestling and while not winning any titles over there he showed off his great technical ability. He then had a try out match with ROH and he and the Angel of Death reformed God's Grace to dominate the best tag team division holding onto the ROH World Tag Team Championship for a while up until The Angel of Deaths ego got the better of him and won all the major world titles in the US, defeating me for the ROH World Heavyweight Championship. After this I was contacted by WWTNA Mark telling me to check out JBW and fell in love instantly where he was immediately put into the faction SuperNova to go up against the Five Star Attraction. And is now maing his singles run and become the next Warfare TV Champion. The future is looking bright for HolyJose in JBW where the sky is the limit.

Finisher: The Final Judgement ( spinning reverse DDT like the Cross Rhodes) and a spinning spine buster sometimes done from the top rope
Signature moves: german suplex, double leg take down, 3 amigos (in honor of the late great Eddie Guerrero).
Enterance Theme: Asylum by Disturbed

hope you guys enjoyed this little insight into HolyJose's early career to recap former AAA, CMLL, IWGP, and ROH World Champion and fomer CMLL and ROH Tag Champs

While in JBW

HolyJose has gone on to be a major up and coming force. He joined the group Supernova to battle against the FSA. During this time he had an epic feud with then Warfare Television Champion Markus Beerstein and it ended with him capturing the before mentioned title. He has also went on to become a first ever JBW dual as he now carries both the Warfare TV Title and the Warfare Tag Team Titles. This guys star is on the rise in JBW and who knows where it will stop.

Next we have the crazy, rage filled, referring to himself in the third person, Alpha Dog and quite the past he has had.

Gabriel Xander/ The Alpha Dog

Height: Six Foot Three
Weight: Two Hundred Forty Five Pounds
Hometown: Edmonton, Alberta Canada
Finishers: The Alpha Grip (Half Nelson Sleeper Hold)
The Alpha Shock (Double Underhook Driver)

The Bio (Quite a bit of this wrestlers information is missing)

It is unknown how Gabriel was raised with his parents in Edmonton, but it culminated with him being swept up into Canadas Foster Care System. Gabriel was a shy boy who had a hard time making friends or participating in school due to his inability to socialize with other children. He then started getting into fights with other children due to them picking on him. He was kicked out of many of the schools that he was in due to this problem which caused any foster parents that took him in problems as well. He went through a couple of families, but was never wanted for long. He stayed in Foster Care until the age of eighteen when they kicked him out. With no family to help him and no education or skills to get a decent job, Gabriel joined a gang. Not much is known of this gang but at the end of his time with them, he was told to do something he couldn’t do. He had a falling out with them, and was left for dead by them. It took a few days before a homeless man found him and he was sent to the hospital. Once he was cured, he was forced to realize his reality once again. He had no friends, no family, and no education. He didn’t like what he had to do but he had to survive.

On a faithful night, he went to mug a man who was leaving a gym in Edmonton. This man later became the biggest influence in Gabriels wrestling training and also the reason Gabriel was able to gain a job. This man worked for a major wrestling promotion when Gabriel met him. He got Gabriel a job for this wrestling promotion as a roadie. During this time, Gabriel was trained and given great insight into the world of wrestling. Some of the wrestlers that trained him include: Lance Storm, Tazz, Kurt Angle, and Chris Jericho. With the money that he received from his job, he was also able to receive an education.

Things were looking up for Gabriel until the day the life of the man, who helped him so much and became a major part of his life, came to a tragic end. When Gabriel received the news of this, something broke in Gabriels mind and on that day, Gabriel became The Alpha Dog. The Alpha Dog then went on to wrestle in many different promotions around the world. WWTNA Mark (then owner and founder of JBW) caught word of The Alpha Dog and offered The Alpha Dog a contract to wrestle for JBW.

Since The Alpha Dog joined JBW, he has taken the JBW universe by storm. His biggest achievement so far in his JBW career was ending the undefeated streak of the unstoppable God of JBW, Zeus Apollo.

10-10-2011, 04:46 PM
Next up we have the legend himself. He has the ability, he has the swagger, and he will knock your teeth down your throat with one punch. His name is...


Height: five foot ten
Weight: eighteen stone
Hometown: London, England
Finisher: "My Friend Went To London And All I Got Was This Blood Stained T-Shirt" (Knock out punch)
Signatures: London 'bo (roaring elbow)
Greetings from London (shining wizard)

The Bio

Growing up poor in London, England, Ma$$Dinero appreciated the time he had with his uncle, who during this time, taught young Ma$$ the sweet science of boxing. When he wasn’t training with his uncle he used his natural ability to create rhymes to channel the pain he was going through on paper. People slowly found out about his rap ability and Ma$$ became infamous in Londons Underground music scene, but with infamy came haters. Ma$$ was a bar frequent and that is where people would try to prove that they were better than Ma$$Dinero, but were they wrong. Ma$$ quickly grew a rep for bar fights and was known for beating the shit out of anyone who got in his way. Soon, people
started coming to him with offers. “Come to Rileys Snake Pit and make a lot of money,” they would tell him behind crooked smiles, thinking he would be beaten to a pulp by the more experienced fighters and they would hit the jackpot betting against him due to Ma$$’ underground fame, but once again Ma$$ proved them all wrong. He stood with the best of them and quickly gained respect through the underground fight scene. Here is where he also learned how to wrestle by unknown but very brutal and effective means. After awhile, Ma$$ started looking to a career in wrestling. Due to his fame and skill he was able to skip the indy scene and joined JBW as a rookie. In the eight months of existence of JBW, Ma$$ has gone on to become THE man to beat on Mayhem. Booya!

Career Highlights

The Early Days

Ma$$Dineros bright career highlights from when he first began in JBW started with a feud with Trips, a feud that Ma$$ would win. A little after this feud Ma$$ would go to meet a fellow rapper named SilverCena. These two would go on to form the very popular tag team of SilverMa$$. This team didn’t last unfortunately as Ma$$ was left high and dry when SilverCena controversialy left JBW. Snair has been blamed for this.

The beginning of a Legend

Ma$$ befriends a JBW interviewer named Dave and the pair embark on adventures that had the JBW faithful on the edge of their seats with the segments known as The Adventures of Ma$$ and Dave and it the segments become an instant hit! After a feud with Wes Goldman over Wes’ distaste for rap, a man known as St. George arrived in JBW and there was instant tension between Ma$$ and George until one night that changed the landscape of efedding forever. Ma$$, St. George and Siaki shocked the world when they formed V3 (Vini Vidi Vici) in the greatest group reveal in the history of efedding. V3 went on to feud with a group known as The Eye. The group led by Iron Ape buried Ma$$ alive to keep him silenced, but silencing Ma$$Dinero is a lot harder than they thought as Ma$$ digged himself out of his own grave.

The Last Few Months

Ma$$ then goes on to feud with the egotistical and brutal K-Jammin. They go on to have the biggest match (and entrances) in front of their hometown fans at Monarchy of Aggression that became a major highlight of their careers. Ma$$ and K-Jam wrestled again at Rampage of the Titans that some critics consider better than the first time as their feud had come to fruition. Though they are not feuding right now, to think they won’t feud again would make people think that you think the moon is made out of cheese.

What is Ma$$ doing right now?

Well, he is currently hunting for JBW wrestler RomanFlare in another epic adventure with Dave. So, far he has went to Rome and is now on his way to Las Vegas.

After all the highlights this young rags to riches has achieved, you would think that he was coming to the end of career, but like everybody else, Ma$$ will prove you wrong. He has just begun!

Now it is time for the Music Break with HolyJose. Take it away Holy!

Hello JBW fans it is I HolyJose! music is my big passion so in the first edition of JBW’s magazine and in more to come I’ll be review some albums for your enjoyment JBW!

Album 1: Escape the Fate- “Escape the Fate”
Las Vegas Quartet Escape the Fate has returned with their third album Escape the Fate. It is Craig Mabbitt’s second album with Escape the Fate. With prior albums being more vocal based this album includes much more guitar work from guitarist Brian “Money” Monte. It is shows especially in The Aftermatch (Guillotine Part III) where Brian’s guitar solo is reminiscent of Herman Li from DragonForce. The album starts out with an instrumental opener called “Choose Your Fate” which quickly goes into the song “Massacre” which definitely showcases Brian’s guitar skills in the intro riff and one of the heavier songs on the album due to Craig’s screams. After the song it delves into the song “Issues” which is a darker song with lyrics such as “So I try to be silent but my words they explode like hand grenades” and “These issues they choke me like a noose” with an impressive solo after the second verse but is over as soon as it starts. Afterwards is “Zombie Dance” which more or less is just feeding the current takeover of the oncoming Zombie Apocalypse in Popular culture. One of the stand out tracks off the album is “Gorgeous Nightmare” with a great intro riff and great showcase of Craig’s singing voice. The last song Aftermatch(G3) is another standout track with a mixture of screams and singing and also as I stated before an impressive solo from Brian. Overall this album is one of the best and shows that even without Ronnie (whom we’ll get to in the next review) they can release a great album.
Overall score out of 10 : 8.5/10

Album 2: “The Drug in Me Is You” by Falling in Reverse
After a two and a half year stint in prison Ronnie Radke former Escape the Fate vocalist has come back with his second album and his first with new band Falling In Reverse. With a mixture of heavy metal and pop punk this album is full of deep lyrics written while in solitary confinement while in prison to catchy pop choruses. The album is full of resentment towards Ronnie’s former bandmates mainly Max Green (bassist for Escape the Fate) and his replacement Craig Mabbitt. With Lyrics such as “I have learned that my fate is something I can’t escape” and declaring winning the “war” by saying “THIS WAR IS MINE” in reference to Escape the Fate’s second album “This War is Ours.” The album is of course catchy it goes from poppy chorus into a screaming verse as noted in “Sink or Swim” or “Don’t Mess With Ouija Boards” Ronnie and the rest of the band show great use of their instruments and the lyrics are full of emotions from Ronnie’s time spent in jail. Overall the album is a great listen to but does have many references to Escape the Fate and if Ronnie wants to be set apart from ETF and his own band he needs to get rid of the references and focus on his future with Falling in Reverse.
Overall score out of 10: 7.5/10

Album 3 “The Classic Corner”: Millennium by The Backstreet Boys
This is a section I like to call the Classic Corner where I review a Classic album this month is 1998’s Millennium by The Backstreet Boys! This album is the biggest hit album they have ever had. It is their second album in the United States following up their 1996 debut Backstreet Boys, third internationally which is a follow up to Backstreet’s Back. The album is full of catchy lyrics and classic love songs that make all the girls say “awwwww” Lyrically not the deepest but it gets the attention and brings back some classic memories. The album starts out with “Larger than Life” with AJ McLean’s ominous laugh and goes into a catchy pop-rock song that’s out of this world. The lyrics are sexual and subtle with lines such as “Looking at the crowd and I see your body sway come on/ wishing I could thank you in a different way alright” overall the song is catchy and has a great guitar solo with some elements of shredding. It then goes out into “I Want it That Way” Backstreet Boys greatest hit of all time. While no meaning to the song at all the lyrics sure are catchy and it’s a song everyone knows “you are my fire the one desire” and you can certainly finish the lyrics. The album also has its fair share of ballads such as “Show me the Meaning of Being Lonely” a song of being heartbroken, to “I need you Tonight” a song sung entirely by Nick Carter saying he only has eye for one women and he needs to be with her tonight, to “Back to Your Heart” a song of being heartbroken to wanting to know how to fix it and winning back the love of your life. Overall the album while shallow it definitely stood the test of time and the band is still releasing music to this day with their last album out in 2009 with “This is Us” and brings back those 90s memories.
Overall score out of 10: 9/10

10-10-2011, 04:55 PM
Hello my name is Chris WardHick and I am going to review for you some epic games. Now todays games are shooters and aren't all that different to be honest. So I am going to review them for you and you get to decide which one gets to be in your game system next. First we have...

Crysis 2

I am just going to come out and say it, this game is epic! Crysis 2 is one of the few games where I actually felt connected to the goal of the storyline. That goal is…save New York and the game will pound that into your skull with every step you take.

You play as Force Recon Marine Alcatraz who is sent into New York with his team, who also use prison names, during a deadly outbreak to assist the original Crysis protagonist, Prophet. Before you get a chance to get there though, you’re attacked by an unknown enemy. Long story short, your team is dead and you are the only survivor but you are hanging on by a thread. Prophet finds Alcatraz and, realizing what he has to do, saves Alcatraz life by giving him the very slick and stylish Nanosuit 2.0 and sends Alcatraz on a mission to find a man named Gould.

Very quickly after you gain the suit, the game starts to show you the wonderful things you can do with it. The suit gives you the ability to jump high, run fast, a cloaking ability if your feeling stealthy, and extra armor if you are feeling suicidal. The armor works pretty well in intense gunfights, giving you some extra time to stay out in the open while being shot at. The cloaking works well too, just don’t get too close to the enemies you are trying to sneak around because they will see you. You can also use a visor that shows you certain tactical aspects of the battlefield that can help you plan how to proceed.

After a while in the game, you can even start to customize the suit with little perks. These perks mainly revolve around less energy reduction for certain features of the suit but some also include quieter foot steps while in stealth, control while falling, and the ability to track enemy patrols. These abilities can be customized on the fly to better suit the situation that is at hand as long as you have purchased them. The customization for the weapons is just about as deep. You can change the sights, add a silencer, and even add grenade launchers or a miniature shotgun if you have unlocked them by using a weapon that has them. They too can also be customized on the fly.

New York is in trouble in this game. Its buildings are getting destroyed and its poor poor citizens are either dying by disease or dying from getting caught in the crossfire of the war between the humans or the aliens. The environment around you is constantly reminding you of this and pretty much begging you to continue. In other words, you can feel and see its pain.

The aliens are an intimidating bunch as well but only come in about four sizes: small grunt, medium soldier, large bulletsoaker, and really big, have to find the weak spot, walking tanks.

The storyline to me was pretty well done and it has a pretty lengthy progression that paces itself and it’s pretty balanced between the action and the story. You’re not taken away from the action with cutscenes unless you’re transitioning between levels (a type of interactive story telling that I love), there are plenty of collectibles to be found as well, and the only downside I see in the story is the other characters you meet. Let me just say they are very generic and predictable.

Crysis 2 does have multiplayer, but I didn’t play it. I imagine it’s a lot like other multiplayer features in other games. You know deathmatches, team fights, capture the flag, etc. It’s just now you are doing it with characters who wear super powered nanosuits!

So, I totally recommend this game to those who are fans of shooters, a good story mode, and a little of inivative gameplay. After I got done with its epic story mode, I wanted to start it over again but hell it was two thirty in the morning and I knew if I did start a new one, I wouldn’t be getting to bed till at least five. It does take awhile to get really exciting but when it does, you won’t want to put the controller down.

Next up we have...

Deus Ex: Human Revolutions

Another awesome game I would like to recommend is Deus Ex: Human Revolution. This game is the long awaited addition to the Deus Ex franchise that is set to be a prequel to the original. Although it was delayed, it turns out the wait was worth it. This game has environments that feel alive, a lot of different ways to approach missions, a pretty complex story, and some awesome customization features.

This addition starts in the year 2027 (25 years before the original) in the state of Detroit and you play throughout the game as Sarif Industries, the biggest supplier of augmentations in the world, Chief of Security Adam Jensen. The story begins with you (Jensen), in the Sarif Headquarters in Detroit, making preparations for Dr. Megan Reeds’ security detail since she is about to have a press conference to make a huge announcement. In the first few moments, you get a pretty good idea that these two have had history. Long story short, things don’t go as planned due to the headquarters coming under attack by a mercenary force. Jensen becomes mortally injured and is forced to receive Sarif augmentations to save his life. Back from the nearly dead, he starts a journey of working for David Sarif (owner of Sarif Industies) and finding out why the attack occurred that faithful night.

Now, one of the big things in this game is the augmentations and is where a lot of the customization comes in. These things allow Adam to do some pretty awesome stuff through upgrades. Run faster, hit harder, shoot straighter, cloak, see through walls, break through said walls, and snap the neck of the enemy on the other side, hack better, and jump higher You can buy these upgrades with Praxis points. You get these points for free in the same way that you level up in an RPG but you can also buy them as well. But be sure of the upgrades you want to receive because you are not going to be able to unlock all the upgrades in a single playthrough.

The other big thing about this game is its very open approach to missions. There are four different ways to get to your objectives and those are running and gunning, stealth, technology, and social and the game gives you plenty of ways to play the you want to. You can go in with a shotgun that has incindary ammo and make your enemies wish they didn’t fuck with you (just make sure you have enough ammo). You can cloak your body, use a augmentation that tracks your enemies, and use a tranquilizer gun so you can slowly get to your objective without anybody knowing you were there (there is actually an achievement/trophy if you can go through the whole game without raising a single alarm and another if you can get through it without taking a single life). You can hack computers to turn off cameras, turn the enemies defenses off, or (and my personal favorite) turn the enemies defenses against your enemies. You can also talk to certain people and find out ways to make a mission easier to get through. Some people can even be manipulated to making other wise difficult situations a lot easier (but where is the fun in that). Anyway you would like to play is covered in this game.

Although you will be going to many different places in this game, the two main hubs are Detroit and Hong Kong. These areas are expansive and have plenty to do within them. There are the limb clinics where you can purchase praxis points and recovery items, black market vendors that will sell you weapons, ammo, explosive, etc, and plenty of people that you can do things for that can’t do them themselves. These hubs feel alive with people working and just hanging around talking about what’s going on around them and they change as the story progresses so you won’t hear anybody talking about the same things they were talking about two hours ago.

Now on to two of the things I found unnerving about this game and one is the severe difference in lighting when switching between actual gameplay and cutscenes. For some reason, Squaresoft thought it was a good idea to make the cutscenes lighting so dark that you pretty much have to adjust the screens brightness to really see what is going on in the scene. It is really obvious whenever you go back to gameplay because the lighting in gameplay is bright. You mean to tell me that Squaresoft went through the final copy of this game, saw that problem, and thought to themselves, “Ahhh they won’t notice.” Well, I noticed and it is enough for me to nit pick about because it is severely obvious and kind of takes you out of the experience. Two is the sometimes stiff and repetitive animations when talking to people. They cycle through motions like crazy and I am tired of seeing my pilot bobbing her head when I haven’t even asked her anything.

10-10-2011, 05:13 PM
But those two problems are not enough to make this game unplayable. It was a great experience and I enjoyed being a part of the world. The gameplay is top notch and the story made me keep going for hours. So play it punks while I go cut off my own arms. That doctor is giving me robot arms one way or another.

Time for The Rumor Mill

Kevin Matthews was seen walking out a local canadian tattoo this past week, its rumored he got the words Oh, Canada!!! tattooed across his arse.


G - Scorp is rumored to be injecting himself with actual scorpion venom as a steroid to enhance his in ring abilities, however his side effects include internal bleeding and difficulty getting an erection.


Alpha Dog's motorcycle has run out of gas on various trips and its rumored in order to obtain the money to purchase gas he's been seen carrying a sign that says: ''To tap this ass with class please give money for gas''.


Kiddson was seeing checking into a motel room with a slender, petite woman though rumor suggest she might a prostitute known to give crabs.

The Indy Spin!

First up we start with AWF. Here is what you need to know about these crazy guys!

The Airbourne Wrestling Federation

A federation that decided to give people a rush of adrenaline through exciting fast paced, high flying action and boy has it ever.This e-fed though suffering through a controversial phase in which the management of it was left in question, JBW’s current Warfare TV and Tag Team Champion HolyJose has stepped up to a managerial role and made the AWF a very exciting e-fed. Having a great roster has also definitely helped in the AWF’s success from Jason Alexander to The Prophecy even Daymian Bloodstone among many talents that have propelled the AWF to new heights.

With time the AWF will only get better and show the e-fed world what it can truly do.

Project Zero

Welcome to Project Zero, where each month we will take an inside look at the people in the AWF Roster and give you a chance to get to know these amazing competitors on a deeper level. This month we talk to former Marine and high flying extraordinaire:

Axxel Sonn

Q: First tell a bit about yourself? How was your life growing up?

AS: I grew up in a military family, my grandfather was in the Navy, my father was in the Air Force, and my brothers are both in the Army, and I joined the Marines. As a kid we moved around a lot! *Laughs* But it was cool I got to experience all these different cultures and surroundings! I remember living in Tokyo when I was about 5, that was the first time I ever experienced wrestling

Q: So having traveled the world throughout your youth and having been a part of the Marines, what events transpired to cause you to leave the service of the Marines to become a full time wrestler and in doing so choose the Airbourne Wrestling Federation as the company to make your mark in the world of professional wrestling?

AS: Well, I got discharged here, about a year ago. Heath reason... But anyways I had done some wrestling in the Marines and loved it. So the logical choice was to do what I love! When I was younger I would practice the stuff, even did some Backyard stuff, was a real high flyer! So when I heard about AWF, I knew that was where I was going to make my mark on the world.

Q: What are your goals in the AWF?

AS: Thought you were supposed to ask hard questions? My goal is the same as everyone else, to become World Champion!

Q:That would mean one day facing off against the one who people have called The King of the Indies, the current AWF World Champion Jason Alexander; what are your thoughts about him and how he represents the AWF?

AS: King of Indies? Who the hell came up with that load of crap? Anyways yes one day I will face him, beat him, and become AWF Champion. I don't like the guy, he is too cocky and to arrogant for my taste. That’s not how a Champion should represent himself or his promotion

Q:How would represent the AWF if you were its top champion?

AS: With respect, honor and integrity! I would face all challengers, and never take the belt for granted! That’s the way we do things in the Corp.!

Q: Aside from the AWF, is there any other company you would like or would've liked to work for?

AS: Funny you mentioned that, I am actually going to debut in my good friend, Alex Hamilton's promotion BWA. It should be interesting *laughs* Maybe I will get to kick Alexander's ass there too.

Q:Any last comments you like to state to our readers?

AS: Hoorah!! Be sure to catch me on Zero Gravity.

Interview with HWA Superstar Dave Sullivan

Dave Sullivan has gone through a rather interesting change over the last few weeks, he started out as a crazy, insane nut. After completely reforming himself, he is now a much cleaner, nicer person to be around.

Q: Dave, most people are saying that you're new, "peaceful" attitude is because of medication.

A: No, no. Not at all, I am not on any medication. I think I made a joke about that in the locker room before, but absolutely not. My change is 100% from the heart, and it's truly because I want the best for myself, my family, and my fans.

Q: Before you went through your reform, you were doing some...really crazy things. You attacked Tommy Thunder' father, you beat the hell out of many security guards and other staff members. What made you do this, what led to your ultimate breakdown?

A: The HWA Championship. I was hellbent on winning that title...I really do not know what was going through my head. In my mind, it was like somebody was telling me that I had to win the championship. Now I mean I didn't really have voices in my head, but that's what it was like. It was like something was telling me the most important thing in the world was winning the title.

Q: You recently changed your entrance theme song, to John Lennon's "Give Peace a Chance". I find this kind of ironic due to your previous state of mind.

A: Yes, I thought that song was perfect for representing my new philosophy towards life. Plus I mean...I love John Lennon. I don't like the Beatles though, just John Lennon. I think Lennon has brought the world some of it's best music, and I am quite proud to be entering to his voice every night.

Q: While you may have changed, Tommy Thunder is still walking around with this attitude that he has been since he arrived in HWA. What are your thoughts on Mr. Thunder?

A: Thomas Thunder...the man certainty has an ego, that's for sure. He's been having quite a title reign too. I mean besides Vincent Tyler, I don't think anyone has ever held that championship belt before. Plus, as big of an asshole that Thunder's been...the majority of his matches are won fairly, and I have to respect that. I'm hoping eventually that I can win the title...but at this point I have certain lines that I will not cross.

Well thank you Mr. Sullivan. That is all the questions I have to ask you, Have a good day, and good luck with your career in HWA.

10-10-2011, 05:23 PM
Hello douchebags. My name is Simon Cole and I am going to be the one to read your stupid fan mail so let’s begin.

This first one is from pauadrian and they write…

“I have a statement to make…HWA is better!”

Yes, HWA is better than JBW. Now I am going to go home and fuck my wife Sandra Bullock and be untalented at acting because in this dimension that you are apparently living in, I am Ryan Reynolds.

On to the second piece of Fan Mail and this one is from Clive and he writes…

“Hello, please may you ask K-Jammin why he is the best in the business? Thanks.

From ermmm.. Clive”

Now usually we wouldn’t give in to your demands you terrorist but since you are one of the first to send us fan mail, we went on ahead and sent your question to K-Jammin himself and this is how he replied…

“This is extremely flattering Clive, however it's not rocket science. It all comes down to genetics, I am genetically better than everyone else. End of.

Because you asked such a good question, im sending you the brand new K-Jammin T-shirt, your welcome.”

I hope that answers your question Clive, you douchebag. Now on to the third piece fan mail. This one is from ilikeitrough and she writes…

“I am a huge fan of The Alpha Dog and I heard a something about him becoming a Giggalo. I was wondering how I could come in to contact with him about his service and how much it would cost.”

Are you deaf and blind? The Alpha Dog has been very open about his new side business. He has a commercial for it and, in said commercial, he gave out his cell phone number and a website for it. Also, if you have to ask how much his service is, you probably can’t afford it, although if your attractive and since he is now single, he’ll probably dominate you for free. He is quite the manwhore.

Our next piece of fan mail comes from...theviperisgod... and he writes...

"With Ryusuke "Shuriken" Serra now being a Jabester, how long will it be until Psycho?! Siaki returns and gives the fans the dream match of the century?"

Well, let's see. With Psycho Siaki currently in jail for assault, it will probably be quite a while before that match can even be considered. Yes this is a Jabe fan wet dream ready to happen but we all will just have to wait.

Our last piece of fan mail comes from Ma$$mark and he writes...

"Does JBW have their eyes set on any indy efed talents?"

Oh yeah. Huh Jason Alexander, The Prophecy, HolyJose, and Azeral. Those four have really been under JBWs radar.

Now that is it for this segment of fan mail. PM your fan mail to either JBW Magazine Fan Mail or zapphoman and we will see about humiliating you on a public forum. Until then, go fuck yourselves.

Now it is time for the moment you all have been waiting for. The Kashdinero Shoot Interview conducted by Jman! I can't wait to see some reactions!

Jman: Kash my man, I wanna thank you for requesting that I be the guy to do this interview.

Kash: Your the absolute best guy for the job, but here's a little shoot straight off the bat. I saw Zapph talking about the magazine on the Jabe thread, and as we were both on line I shot him a sly PM asking about this interview thing. His reply was something along the lines of..

"Uhh, OK, but I'm not really good at the question thing."

Instantly I knew it was the wrong choice to ask Zapph, and almost as instantly as I realised my error, I then realised another error I made, as the only real choice to do this shoot thing was you, bruv, so shame on me, right? Right. So, like, totally hit me up with those questions, my friend, you've got a magazine to publish.

Jman: Alright bruv, let’s get to it. Before you took over JBW, Dubs was running things. What do you think of the job he did? Could you’ve done better?

Kash: Double question straight off the bat, eh? Sort of putting me on the spot to see where what sort of tone will be held throughout this thing. OK, lets start from the begining... If it wasn't for Dubs, I would have NEVER EVER even looked into this EFedding lark, as it all just seemed so silly to me. However... when I saw that WWTNA Mark had started up an EFed I HAD to check it out, as the old Dubs was always worth a giggle. Upon my first viewing of the thread I now consider my cyber home, I read the Ape's and the Bodom's and whoever else's posts that were blatantly putting the ultimate instigators attempt at creating competition for EWNCW down, and mocking him. I however decided to go the opposite route and "throw my name into the hat". I told Dubs to "use me however you want.", and my debut (as Kashdinero Vs Tripps88) went in my favour. Then I started seeing all of these cool bio's from yourself, thedag, Sau and others, and I thought "yep, that's a bit of me, right there", and I created the Ma$$Dinero bio. It wasn't hard, as I've been Ma$$ in real life for the past thirty one years. Raps were my promos, and I used to send them to Dubs week after week, and I loved the progression of the character, but working with Dubs was a nightmare sometimes. Dude was so protective of Kayfabe it's not true, and one time, me and SilverCena (SilverMass>GodMoney bTw) typed up a WHOLE FUCKING RAP, and sent it to him, also asking him to have Trips and Scotty attack us after the rap was finished..... When I read Warfare (it wasn't WARFare back then... In the old days... Ahh, the old days.) I was actually gobsmacked to see that the bossman had only put in the first eight bars of the "track" before Tripps and Scottland (his favourite robots back then) attacked us. I PM'd him to say wTf, and he said, something like, "but you said to have them attack you".... I really wanted to say, "then why the fuck did we type the WHOLE THING OUT!?!?", but I think I said "ahh, no worries bossman, I'll just post it in the thread." Anyway, what do I think of the job he done? Man, he did a fucking marvellous job, he may have been a little tight lipped with his talent, but that's the way he ran his ship, and as I was a JBW fan, who am I to argue? I like to liken my style of doing this to the opposite way. I'm all up for letting guys come up with their own shit, and just going for it in the promos and segments they send me. If Dubs is Vince, then I'm Paul Heyman. But the bottom line has to be along the lines of.. Dubs is awesome, and the dedication he had to JBW should never be put into question. I could/would never have started an EFed from scratch like he did, but now I am familiar with the guys, I'm pretty sure I can atleast take WARFare to new heights, and at the very least freshen it up a bit. So, no, I couldn't have done a better job than him then, but you better fucking believe I wanna do a better job than he did now. Who wouldn't?

Jman: How far in advance of RotT did he PM you to say “Hey man, I quit and I’m putting you in charge”?

Kash: About a month before RotT, Dubs posted in Miami that he was taking a break, and I instantly knew that one of the Miami 5 would have to fill that spot, and looking around the room I kinda caught my reflection in the mirror, took a second glance and thought, that's the guy who has to cover. That's the guy who needs to at least write WARFare, and steer the ship in a positive direction. So, I PM'd Dubs, and told him I'd take over when he left. Dubs agreed it was a good idea. But what most don't know, is if I didn't think I was the best guy for the job, then I would never have asked him. It's a massive and daunting task, but I'm doing alright, I think. I just need a break in my sometimes hectic real life/JBW schedule to sit down and truly evaluate the situation. See, Dubs never left me a list or anything, and I just started from scratch. Not bitching, just telling you how it was, and to tell the truth, it had to be that way. I wouldn't have done what he'd asked anyway. Lol.

Jman: The very first episode of WARfare after you took the reins was full of surprises. Not the least of which was SG’s longtime EWNCW main eventer Shuriken debuting and winning the championship. How much of that move was because SG is a friend, how much was because Snair’s run had been insanely long, and how much was just to send a message that “this is a new era”?

10-10-2011, 05:31 PM
Kash: Ahh, THE question. Shuriken Blade. Now known as Ryusuke "The Shuriken" Serra- The WARFare World Heavyweight Champion. Why? The short, quick answer is because his character deserves to be a champion in any EFed, but, I'm not about to fob you all of with a short answer. Something that controversial deserves better than that, so allow me to give everyone a backstage pass on this one. Let's start where Dubs posted in Miami saying he needed a break and was burnt out. See, it wasn't until about two weeks after Dubs posted what he did that I contacted him and asked him to give me custody of his EBaby. The moment I received the PM agreeing to my hostile takeover, my mind began racing.

After instantly thinking that the FSA-SuperNova 'ting needed to end, as I saw way more potential in most of the members as singles than I did as a group, I then started doing what I have always done. I started looking outside of the box. I instantly spotted the toy that everyone wants to play with. I spotted the guy who's character has cast a shadow over JBW from day one. He's a guy who's character has been mentioned throughout the entire existence of the Jabe thread. Yep. I spotted SilverGhost. A guy who welcomed me into the EWN like no other, and someone I had been trying to get to jump ship for AGES. Ever the loyal friend to many in EWNCW SG always turned me down, but now I was going to try my hand at being captain of the ship, there was no way I was taking no for an answer. I sent him a PM saying that I order him to come and join his buddy Kash in JBW, because it's time we worked together in the world of EFedding. As you very well know, JMiz, it's a far more rewarding experience when doing this thing when working with friends, and I would like to have as many of my EWN buddies around me as possible. I knew SG was going to say yes, because what many of you don't know is JBW was very close to being Shurikenized a lot earlier than it was, but the deal fell through when Tommy pleasured himself with an EDildo for the whole world to read. That work/shoot/whatever caused SG to take a step back and realise that if he left when he was supposed to, it would have caused more damage and resentment. Once Tommy had returned to his standard place in EWNCW as a champion, and a member of creative, things settled down once again in camp paranoia, and it coincided perfectly with the DUBS/Miami/Kash PM thing.

Once SG was on board, the brainstorming began. He felt that the Shuriken Blade character had become stale. I disagreed, but I had only ever read one or two Shuriken segments/matches and his sporadic posts in the Jabe thread. He felt Blade needed a rebirth of sorts, and once again coincidence reared it's beautiful/ugly head. I'm no mathematician, and having left/been expelled from school at fifteen, I've had no real reason to use maths for legal purposes, but to me, of you add a new WARFare to a new Shuriken Blade, chances are Kash is gonna come up with a little controversy. Shock and awe are not my modus operandi, but that was too good an opportunity to pass up. A maskless Shuriken under his new name is presented as a nobody. The arrogant Snair, feeling on top of the world after defeating TDA, challenges this "Kid", and is taken completely off guard. I liked it, so I went with it. Now, TheOriginalSilverOne actually said no, because he knows there's plenty of jelly ones out there that brush their teeth with haterade, and the backlash might be too strong. I told him fuck the backlash, we're doing it. I told DUBS of my plans and he loved the idea; he told me it would be a huge surprise, and, yeah, he was right.

Now, I haven't once mentioned the others on WARFare at the time of my coming in as the writer, but your all confused if you think I don't think that any of you were worthy of defeating Snair, as it could have easily been any one of you to have been in Serra's place. But each persons EFed path is different, and not only have you all had your chance to shine, you are currently getting it. See, all that really happened is I changed the man to beat. JMan is still number one contender, Zeus is recovering from a defeat to the Alpha Dog, and is currently in a feud with The Prophecy that is hands down the best feud going at the moment, and they're just getting started. Manabu knows where things are headed, and the real Manabu has his characters Sasha and Akayo currently feuding in a slow burner. The Alpha Dog is a major part of the show, and with what his future holds, well, let's just say that it's gonna be good times. The guys I have just mentioned were the only real viable options to end Snairs reign, but they have in no way suffered by the title switch, and they were all cool with it. The only person who could have been legitimately upset about it was Snair, but when I told Snair of the title switch, he was absolutely cool with it, and is enjoying his face turn. I never told him who was going to replace him, and for keeping the Shuriken thing a secret, I actually feel bad, but, it was hopefully a pleasant surprise to most of the JBW fam, and I apologise to Rich and the gang for being kinda sneaky/greedy/sly in the private recruitment of their shining star, but it was bound to happen sooner or later.
The worst part about it, is Sau pulled Siaki out of the race at the same time as his dream opponent entered it. There's a word for that, but my unedumucated stoners mind can't quite recall it.
So, I guess some sort of bottom line is necessary here....

I made my buddy SG's character champion because it is the epitome of an EFed champ, and also to create the hammer that put the final nail in the coffin of The FSA, and because it was a new day for all involved, and I wanted Ryusuke "The Shuriken" Blade, to signify the end of a milestone, and usher in a new era onto WARFare. There.

Jman: Since you’ve been in charge for a while now and you have a good hold on things, here’s what we’re gonna do….I’ll throw a Jabe related topic out there and you say whatever the fook you want about it.; Cool?

Kash: Yeah, go for it, bruv.

Jman: Alright here goes… the job SG and I are doing with this world title feud.

Kash: Almost perfect. I'll get to the almost part after I tell you the positives. Firstly, I don't think I've ever read better work from you personally, J, and I am a bigger fan of Ryusuke "The Shuriken" Serra, than I was of Shuriken Blade. He has an ability to actually sound like a serious threat. His short, serious, sensible, sharp, to the point promos, are a great contrast to your everyday man, turned reluctant hero with a point to prove style of promos. The promo in Philly was awesome, like, deffo some of your all time best work, and you know it. The feud itself is something I'm a mark for, and as explained earlier, it kinda just fell into place. The fact that, as far as I know, you and SG are buddies makes things all the more worthwhile. I can clearly tell that you are the most motivated I've ever seen, and the magazine gig suits you to a tee.
The almost part is I'm not a fan of the way Ryusuke holds the belt, it kinda saddens me to see it, but, I guess he still has a lot to prove to the JBW, and SG knows it. He's a smart dude. Also, once he's through kicking the shit out of you, he'll have earned a little more respect. I will say, though, I like how you haven't gone the whole Shuri' doesn't deserve the belt angle, and have shown him the respect I personally think he deserves, which I hope makes SG feel more welcome in JBW... Thank you for that... Also, if the feud bombs, you and I have the perfect person to blame. Hahaha! Next question.

Jman: K-Jamm’s title run.

Kash: Yeah, it was pretty much written in stone from day one of the K-Jam-Ma$$ feud. The feud started before most people realise, and I knew our characters would clash from day one of his arrival in JBW from the way he treated Dave. At the time, Dave and Ma$$ were becoming fast friends, and it was all but inevitable that Ma$$ would have to seek revenge. Then during Ma$$' feud with Wes Goldman, who had just become a robot, and had gone all anti rap, there was a match at a PPV, and Ma$$ lost a three on one handicap match to Wes, RedDevilSativa and, yep, K-Jammin. The smug little git even pinned Ma$$, and did a good job of bragging about it. This was during the very early stages of V3, so nothing happened for a while, but when the feud started, I instantly knew that this would take both of our characters to the next level. By this time I was working a lot with Straights on V3 stuff, and was always pestering him with ideas, and, basically saw him as a friend rather than anything else. Because of this, Straights let me do what I want, and K-Jam and myself were left to our own devices. It was around this time I got to see just how good K-Jam was, and knew that it was going to be him that took the belt from Siaki, who was feuding with Chainsaw at the time. My mission was to always put K-Jam over at the end of the feud, to set him up to face Siaki. Obviously, as Sau sadly had to call it a day on Siaki, the title switch had to happen sooner than intended. Siaki was going to retire as the champion, the night after RotT, but, yeah, I used my powers of persuasion and managed to get him to drop it after he had just defeated Roman. It was perfect even if I do say so myself. Where it goes from here, who knows, but, for me, K-Jam vs Ma$$ stole the show two PPV's in a row, especially with our entrances (Venom and Joker fTw.), and I don't see why he won't steal the show at the next PPV, and the one after that, and every other one after that until he decides he no longer wants to do it... *puts on an old mans voice* That kids got it, I'll tell ya'.

10-10-2011, 05:34 PM
Jman: The attitude of the “young guys” like Kiddson and May.

Kash: To sum, it up in one word... Great. But, the reason why we have this question is because a LOT of new guys came in at the same time, which is why Showdown becoming a brand of it's own was a top priority for Roman. Obviously, he's MIA for now, but I'm pretty sure that R(ob) is loving his time working with the E23, 'sick, The Awesome One, and Kev. I know I've enjoyed working with two more new guys, Night_Haze and Robareid, who's characters Matt Haze AKA The Golden Icon AKA MPH!!! and Rob Rage are two great additions to the roster. As for Kiddson... Well, he kinda had that thing with that one writer dude and I moved him over to Mayhem, which Straights was planning on doing anyway, and he's been messed around a bit, so, yeah, I hope he's enjoying his time on Mayhem. It's a shame that he's not working with E23, but, I'm sure we'll find something very cool to do with the little Indy worker with a diva attitude, hahaha! The new guys work hard on the creative thread, and are always energetic.

Jman: You’re fascinated by this kid for some reason…. Conner Chaos.

Kash: Yeah, Connor is my Crimson, or my '99 Test. He's a young workhorse, who's found himself in the enviable position of being in the right place at the right time. He's also six foot seven inches, which makes him a believable world beater, and is all about Chaos, which makes him fun to book. He can work well with faces or heels, and could just as easily shake a guys hand as he could break it in two. Fun character, and, like all of my WARFare crew, has a persona that stands out in any EFed. I'd be doing the character a disservice if I booked him to look weak. He may be new to WARFare, but as long as I'm in charge, I'm gonna do everything I can to take him to the next level, which, let's face it, won't be hard as he's great.

Jman: Kevin Matthews/THEKEVINBRAND

Kash: Kevin Matthews sucks. Well, the old Kevin Matthews sucked, and I have no idea why he became champion in EWNCW, as everything about him was lame... Apart from his initial promos which were wrote for him by Young Sau, which, I guess is what got him his push in the first place. Apart from that, he sucked. But.... The new Kevin Mathews is one to watch, and is developing a character that, not only he can sink his teeth into when writing promos, but it also gives him something for others to relate to, and, I find myself looking forward yo see what he has to say about the shitty job that JBW management is doing. He's obviously working, and I hope he is as happy with this character, as JBW management is with it. THEKEVINBRAND... Like Mathews, he too has come a long way, and for a while, he was one of the worst possible users here on the eWN. If he wasn't moaning about something or another, he was C&Ping stuff he found on the Internet, and trying to pass it off as his own work. Lame.... I used to give him shit, but as soon as I saw it became almost something of a trend to have a pop at Kev, I backed off, as, bullying is not my style, and it never has been. I have realised that the best Kev is a happy Kev, and I have really enjoyed interacting with him recently, and I am honestly happy that he is in JBW, adding some star power to Showdown. A complete 180 as far as I'm concerned. Good on him.

Jman: Broc.

Kash: Yeah, when he first began posting hard in the Jabe thread, I was like, who the fuck is this chump? Like, all he ever fucking does is talk about HW-fucking-A!! Then he gets made number one contender to the WARFare TV title, and yet he STILL kept harping on about HWA, and I kid you not I got more PM's from people about that than I have about almost anything before. I felt really bad having to be the one to say something, but, I guess that's part of my job now, right? Anyway, after I jobbed him out to Jose, and shipped him off to the developmental brand, I was happy. But then, I saw behind the promotion promoting, and the American Football talk (which is, in his defence, his gimmick), and I saw a pretty cool guy, who has become a friend and a valued member of the JBW fam. Next!

Jman: HolyJose and his two championships

Kash: Nobody deserves to have two belts more than Jose. Dude is, like, THE most popular guy in JBW, and musical tastes aside, is a super cool guy. That being said, I'm not a fan of dual champs; especially in an EFed. Guys like their character to hold championships, and as long as Jose is hogging all the gold, it limits what I can do with the rest of the guys. I have been having fun booking him in two matches a night, though, and the real life Jose has risen to the occasion every time, which makes it easier for me to deal with. Had he been someone who is hard to contact, or slacks off when it comes to promos, I would have stripped him of at least one belt imediately, but he's great fun to work with, so I'm just gonna have fun with it.

Jman: The Prophecy.

Kash: Fantastic. No way will he ever be a face as long as im guiding his career. He works so well as a heel, that I reckon even Chris Jericho could learn a thing or two from him. His promos/segments have become my favourite part of WARFare. I used to find him a little long winded, but after a little KashDiCoaching, he has harnessed his natural ability to write a great promo, and has managed to write some truly captivating material. This feud with Zeus has lit a fire under his arse, and as a result, I am really fucking enjoying this thing. It couldn't be further outside if the box if it tried, and that works just fine for me, and the two guys that are working their hardest to make it as entertaining as possible. EFed purists need not apply, as these two just want to entertain you, and do things that wouldn't see the light of day in a real wrestling promotion. This is EFedding, this is not Bill Watts Mid-South, and the Proph-Zeus feud exemplifies what a little imagination and a lot of talent can do. Expect big things from Proph. He's one of the best we have.

Jman: Zeus Apollo

Kash: Yeah, you know, JHorton is the JBW guy I think I interacted with the least, but, since I began working with him, I've come to appreciate what a cool dude he is. His character Zeus is great, and, I see it like he is like this unstopable force in JBW. Well, he was an unstoppable force, until Alpha stopped him cold at RotT, which may have happened a bit too premature for my liking, but I guess DUBS had his reason for that. The best thing I can take out of his loss, is it made him more human, and that added another layer to him. As I have said, I'm currently really enjoying his feud with The Prophecy, and I actually don't want it to end. Although, when it does, expect both of them to be better off than they were before it started. Zeus Appolo as a face works perfectly for me, and he has become JBW's answer to Marvel Comics Thor. Trust me, Kash is a fucking massive Zeus Apollo fan these days, and I think that it's possible he may just be the most unique character in the whole of JBW. Obviously, Zeus is just an ex MMA fighter who hit his head too hard one day, and now thinks he's a god, but there's no reason why I can't view him as a god, and book him as such. The man to beat in JBW as far as I'm concerned.

10-10-2011, 05:37 PM
JMan: R(ob)/The Sandman.

Kash: Ka$h <3 R(ob).... I had been trying to get R(ob) to join JBW waaay before he contacted Straights about joining. Yeah, that's right he completely ignored me and went to my superior, hahaha! When he first joined it was around the same time as I was planning Horrorcore Icons, and after hearing about R(ob)'s character, I thought it would be perfect for the tournament, which was a cross between a tourney of death and horror movie. Perfect, right? WRONG!! All I got from R(ob) was *puts on whiny voice* "but Sandypants doesn't use weapons" and "but I want SandInHisPants to be undefeated, so how are we gonna get around that?" and other ridiculous comments and questions. I assured him I wasn't in the business of making guys character look weak, and he seemed alright with it. Then I hear from Straights, and he's like "whoa, back off from R(ob)!! We're both telling him different things, and he wants to walk away from it all because his little brain is getting confused!"
Alright, he never said that last bit, but apparently R(ob) wanted out before he was even in because I invited him to enter a tournament that was meant to be a side project of mine. I was thinking "but, W(ob) is my buddy!?! I'll speak to him about whatever the fuck I want! Surely the man who started his eWN career saying he likes to lick windows, and get into flame wars isn't so fucking sensitive!"... Apparently he was. After I asked Straights (who thought Sandy/HI was a match made in heaven/hell, too) to "persuade" R(ob) to go along with it, everything turned out OK. But, I was kinda shocked that it all got so uncomfortable for me at that time, and I was close to turning my back on R(ob) for good. Anyway, after that debacle was over, R(ob) began intergrating himself into JBW by schmoozing up to Roman, and others, and started making Sigs and JabeTron vids, and doing anything else he could do to help/get noticed. Well, I was like "Horrorcore Icons needs some of that shit" and R(ob) made me a SIX minute video hyping my baby. I was stunned, humbled, gobsmacked, impressed, flattered, and more. Here I was watching this awesome video that was made for my by a guy I barely knew, and he told me it took him hours! I thought that right there and then that R(ob) is a super kind dude, and he is really into this EFedding thing, so I gave him the keys to Miami, which was something I was against before when Romes brought it up in conversation, as I really didn't see what he could do as a writer. Not because he is lame, or I hated him, but because he was unneeded, but, after seeing his talented work, I just knew we had to have him in some capacity. Before he took over from Romes, R(ob) used to help me out by doing matches for Mayhem/Warfare/PPV's and stuff, but now he has taken over Showdown I haven't really spoke to him much, as he is waaaay busy (or he hates me.), but I will go on record as saying he's doing a phenomenal job with Showdown. The only peeves I have is the show is lacking in colour, which makes it kinda hard to decipher what's going on sometimes, and, like, no one wants to see R(ob) as GM, and I told him that from the begining. Well, I asked if he could at least cut back on the amount of times the name R(ob) appears on the show. I would seriously prefer to see someone else as Showdown GM over the ultimate self promoter, and THAT is a shoot, bruva!! Dude has been in the first, last, middle and more, segments of every show. I know I featured myself on WARFare, but that was just to set up TDA as being the GM, and Ka$h the character is hopefully going to be waaay in the background most of the time. Apart from that, and the new European Championship (could have done waaaay better than rehashing that old useless belt) things are going well over there.
The Sandman? Well, I am kinda detached from the booking of him, but I prolly would have booked him differently. I know spots are tight, and opponents are limited, but I wouldn't have put him anywhere near Daniel Truth and the TV title for a while. All it has done is devalue both Daniel Truth, and the Mayhem TV title. I would have had Daniel at first feud with a human/robot, before putting him in a feud with a monster where he (a) will not get a chance to shine, and (b) where he won't be getting tourtured and thrown into burlap sacks like some unwanted kitten! But, saying that, I do like The Sandman character, and I am fully aware of how it was created in R(ob)'s scary brain, due to our friendship, but, let's just say I would have handled things differently. For a start I would never have booked his career path months in advance, as I prefer to play things by ear, so to to speak. Next!

Jman: The Alpha Dog.

Kash: Love him. Who doesn't. THE most intriguing character in ALL of EFedding. 'Nuff said.
Now, Zapphoman has been helping out in a big way when it comes to WARFare, and I have officially made him a part of JBW creative, as I am marking out big time for his work and ideas. For now I'm just easing him into things, but he will make a fine lieutenant for WARFare, along with my buddy TDA. More on this as it develops.

Jman: Alright let’s get back to some actual questions here. V3 has been amazing but now, with Legs taking a break and Sau pursuing music, do you have concerns about sustaining the group?

Kash: JMan, buddy... Bruv... When Ma$$ or St George or Siaki said that V3 business was V3 business... That was and always will be a shoot. So, rather than focus in sustaining it, I just want to publically say that working with my boys Leggo and Sauzer on the V3 project was by far the most fun thing I have ever done on this website. Even more than my first swing with the ban hammer. The build up to V3 was phenomenal, and there were red herrings and secret messages being thrown around left right and centre that finally wove itself together into the segment that has now become known as "Promo of the month": The V3 reveal. I loved working with the guys on the back story between Ma$$ and George, but the finer details were a nightmare to get my head around sometimes. Anyway, I also have to give a massive shout out to the newer members of V3 PandaMassacre AKA Nikki Belzova and The Sleeper AKA SLEEPY LOCO 1! As you can see, J, V3 is all about friendship on and off screen, and that's what has sustained this group so far.
All I can say about the future, is, a cliche along the lines of... watch this space.

Jman: In your heart of hearts do you think we’ll see Psycho Siaki again?

Kash: You don't want me to answer that.

10-10-2011, 05:40 PM
Jman: Speaking of returns...Samson came back at HI and soon after, The Devils Rejects were formed…What do you think of the job Straights has done with those characters?

Kash: Straights is fucking awesome. He is a dark, and sinister individual who is far more Voldemort than he is a Harry Potter. His characters are an extension of his inner rapist or something, and are by far some of the most compelling in all of JBW. Dude has been writing for Chainsaw forever now, and he has been accepted as a threat by at least 95% of the roster, even though he is technically a robot. But the way I see it, if 'saw's a robot, then so is Samson, and to say that is an insult to us as writers. Anyway, when I asked Straights to start working on some TDR work for WARFare, he was slightly hesitant, as he didn't want to ram them down peoples throats. I on the other hand knew better, and had the ultimate plan that would allow The DevsRej's to be on both shows. The idea is to have Tad, NightWolf, The Ice Cream Man and RamJam have a bigger role on WARFare, and have 'saw, Sam, Demonic, Anomander, and, again, NightWolf have more prominent roles on Mayhem. Now, so far they have attacked a few guys, and put DUBS on the shelf, but soon enough, they will become a threat to every member of the roster... Be ready guys.
So, what do I think of the job that Straights is doing? Fantastic! This has been brewing for months, and the reveal at Horrorcore Icons was just another one of those crazy coincidences. Once I had decided that Horrorcore Icons was going to be more than just an ultraviolent tournament with a cool name, and decided to add the horror theme to it, it was a natural progression to have that PPV be the one where Samson returned. Some have said that that segment over-shadowed NightWolfs win, and, well, I can't argue against that. The way I originally pictured it was to have had NightWolf actually join The 'Jects on the night that they were formed, but when Straights sent it to me, 'Wolf was not there for the induction. This is not Straights' fault or anything, and I completely blame myself for not stressing how much I wanted it to happen... Yeah, The Devils Rejects are great, and I direct Straights to do something for WARFare, and he shoots me back a PM that is pure unadulterated horrific goodness. For Mayhem it's different. Straights directs, writes, and masturbates over everything The 'Il's 'Jects do on that show, and he is hitting homeruns most of the time... Straights for Prez!!

Jman: HorrorCore Icons also saw the ever controversial Tommy Thunder make an appearance….Honestly bruv, I was stunned you allowed him on the show…My question is…..why?

Kash: Why not, bruv? Oh, yeah, the whole Tommy trying to work/screw everybody and me banning him from the JBW thread thing. I forgot about that, hahaha!! Nah, there was absolutely no animosity between us after we had a nice long sensible (on my part, hahaha!!) private chat, and the idea to have him invade JBW was just an idea that popped into my head. I knew Tommy would never pass up an opportunity like that, and, yeah, I knew that having public enemy number one on JBW programing was going to shock everyone. It was the first shot in the war that WILL happen. Trust me. The idea to call eboy's speedboat SS EWNCW Paranoia was a Roman idea, and was just a little wind up. I am personally on terrific terms with most of EWNCW and no disprespect was ever meant to anyone there. I actually had really hoped they would enjoyed it, but, lets just say I think it went over better in the JBW thread than it did in "the other guys" camp.

Jman: What are your thoughts on paudrian joining JBW and leaving a couple days later?

Kash: Well, do you even know why he quit? Man, it was because he was being an annoying little muppet asking stupid questions all the time in the NOC section, and ma' boy NightWolf said that he reminded him of that guy who kept asking stupid questions on everyones home pages. I backed him up and called Pauadrian the MULLYTHECAT of the NOC section, and he got pissed off because I embarrassed him. Bodom called him an idiot, and closed the thread. I knew that that would be the end of Alex Kidd from then on, in JBW, so I wasn't surprised that he ran away like a little girl. In fact, I'm over the moon about it.

Jman: Assholes like that make you miss the good ol’ days in The House of Jabe….When it’s was you, me, Sau, Dubs, HT, Jhorton, and a few others…

Kash: Yep. The House of Jabe has taken a turn for the worst in some peoples eyes, and those days were glorious for that thread. We made the effort to get over, and none of us relied on the shows. We made the craziest shit up and always took time out to send someone praise, or say what we liked about the show. We also were like a family, and for many of the guys it was, like, the only thread that they posted on. These days the ranks have been spread thin. I'm not a fan of reading the bullshit that some of the newer guys like to post, but I'm sure that they're not fans of me bitching about it, so, yeah. There used to be an etiquite back in the glory days that has been missing for a very long time, and, among other things, is what actually made Sau rethink things and retire Siaki. I have noticed a change, though, and guys like ihearvoices taking time out and talking about the shows, rather than always talking (a) shite, and (b) about themselves, so things are on the up. Just as long as the "this thread is dead" shit stops I'll be a happy man. If it's dead then do something about it!

Jman: You know what I was thinking about the other day? How many big name singles guys came from the original tag team division…Ma$$, Proph, Jman, SilverCena, The Sleeper…Our tag division these days is still decent but man….

Kash: Yeah, some pretty great tag teams have come and gone haven't they? Yeah, at the moment things are a little slow on the tag team end, but, with Jose and Azrael, Ice Cream Man and RamJam, The Nasty Crew, Two Of A Kind, and more on the way, I'd say that the WARFare tag division is picking up. On Mayhem theres The Jackasses, The Silver Bros, Demonic and Anomander, The Underscores, and now Samson and Chainsaw. Plus I wouldn't rule out a return of Drum & Bass someday. It's not the same as it was though, and it's like guys are allergic to teaming with another guy to make something worth reading. Sully and Broc have stepped up with their double act, and I hope it inspires others to do the same.

Jman: Before we wrap this thing up, I wanna get your thoughts on the other feds…Ready?

Kash: Oh boy... Here we go.

Jman: Ok…BWA?

Kash: Never read a show, or even looked at their thread, but I hear from Richie boy that it's great fun, so I may take a look over there sometime soon. I like the idea of the main focus being on tag teams.

Jman: HWA?

Kash: Who? Hahaha! I'm kidding. Yeah, it's an alright show, but it needs some new blood over there that actually stands out and slaps me with their ECharacter. Don't get me wrong, there are some awesome characters there, but theres just a little something missing that would make it better.. Oh yeah, thats it.. A feud between Damian Icarus (Straights' character) and Brick "The Bastard" Godslayer (my character), with a little Luke Jameson (Zapph's character) thrown in for good measure. I'm hoping that that feud gets the OK from Broc, but I've posted a couple of IC promos on his thread, and he completely ignored them, so I don't really know what's going on there.

Jman AWF?

Kash: Jose will hate me for this, but, yeah, I've never read a show. BUT, I am totally making a character for his fed, so I will be getting aquainted with the shenanigans of AWF very soon. It's Jose, so I can't imagine the shows would be anything less than great. I'm definitely excited to become a part of it, anyway.

10-10-2011, 05:47 PM
Jman: Last but not least…the originator of EWN efedding….EWNCW?

Kash: I've recently worked with them, and without giving too much away, there was a couple of occasions when I was a bit frustrated, but, I'm not pissed off with them or anything. It was more a case of me not giving a hundred percent, but expecting better results. Although, I recieved less than I expected, I still think that I deserved better in our initial dealings, regardless of (a) who I am, or (b) if I never made my usual herculean efforts, but, we're gonna have another try. Now that I'm more aware of the playing field, I'm certain I'll have more fun.... What am I talking about? Well, those in the know would know, but, it's all rather secretive stuff that actually began with a conversation with my absolute bruva from anuva muva TBOZ (Ma$$Dinerownsyou>Poseidon'sPocketMouse) about NightWolf which ended with a promise and a deal.
Apart from all that, I would say that I am either firm friends, friendly aquaintances, or someone who quietly respects almost everybody there. They are the originals, and, I guess JBW is just following the path they created... Well, we sort of ran past them ages ago and forged a new path for ourselves that they wouldn't dare follow. Lol, they're like the good ol' boys show, and we have become the eWN equivilant of a media juggernaught that is showing no signs of slowing down.
I read their shows when I can, and am definitely a huge fan of some of the characters there. Their shows are a good read, although, I don't agree with some of their choice of champions, but that is a very minor quip, and I know for a fact that more than a few people have questioned MY choice's for some of JBW's champions. N-Dubs and S-Gee I'm talking about you, hahahaha!!
The bottom line with my opinion of EWNCW is that I see them as our equals, as they have some talented and all round great people on their team. I'm way more than excited at the prospect of finally creating the JBW vs EWNCW with them someday.

Jman: You can talk about specific people if you want, but in general, what does JBW’s future look like to you?

Kash: Keep an eye on Manabu.... Once you have done that, it's time for people to realise, that at this very moment in time, JBW's future couldn't be brighter. It's full of uncertainty, and basically we're gonna get all Star Trek 'pon dem, and boldy go where no EFed has gone before. This magazine for a start is amazing. I mean where else are you gonna read something like this? I'm always up for incorporating everybodies ideas, and I have so many people that are talented around me, that I can let them do whatever they want knowing that they will come back with a nice little pot of gold. JBW's future is what the members of the JBW roster make it. We also have the womens division picking up a lot of steam, and for that we have Panda, Polly (who's first ever promo blew me away), Manabu, Straights, K-Jam and others to thank for that. I guess we'll be seeing a Womens Championship soon. TNA has the Knockouts, and WWE has the Divas, so if anyone can come up with a flashy tag for our womens wrestlers I'm all ears.

Jman: Alright my friend, we’re done here. Here’s your chance though bruv, if there’s anything else you wanna say, go ahead…

Kash: Thanks to DUBS for having faith.... Now... I've said more than enough, thanks for having me here. But before I go, I think I'd like to hear what you think of things right now in JBW.... If you don't mind.

Jman: Like you bruv, I've been a part of this thing since the beginning and really...I think we're in the best position we've ever been in. Since DUBS left, it seems like everybody has stepped it up big time. On top of that, we have people like SG, Polly, broc, Sully, and the rest of the newer guys coming in and bringing something completely new to the game. The biggest thing for me right now is I feel like if Ma$$, George, Jman, Shuri', Proph, Zeus, Alpha, all those big names....If they "retired", it would still be a great product because guys like Lenny Ray, Cage, Jose, May, Kiddson, and G-Scorp could easily step in to the top tier right away and do a phenomenal job.

That is it of the interview and that was quite insightful. We would like to extend our thanks to Kash again for giving time out of his busy schedule to speak with us and to Jman for conducting the awesome interview and that is it for the first issue of JBW Magazine. Thank you for reading and check out our next issue. We will try to be better prepared next time!

12-07-2011, 08:06 PM
JBW Magazine

The Second Issue


It’s a long time coming but here’s the second issue of JBW Magazine. Sorry for the wait but there was some miscommunication. Now we’re back on track and ready to release an awesome new issue.

We have an interview with Two of a Kind, Broc and Sleepy Loco talk football, Heelturn talks Batman Arkham City, Jman remembers some good old JBW times, HolyJose will talk about music (hopefully not about those boy bands. Sorry Holy but this is JBW not EWNCW), and Zap Alderman will give some of his views on one of the recent Supershows.

So let’s get to it with some Profiles of our JBW Wrestlers, written by themselves.

Shining Light (Current Showdown Heavyweight Champion)
Age - 27
D.O.B. – 25/3/1984
Place of Birth – Corpus Christi, Texas
Back story – Since he was born, Shining has always been interested in religious studies. His parents took him to Bible School from an early age, and he was soon getting involved in heated discussions with the Teachers. It was clear that he was beginning to mis - interpret the Bible and his Teachers soon picked up on it and informed his parents. Obviously it was something they decided to “let slide” and Shining soon was reading the Bible at every opportunity he got.

During a normal Sunday mass, Shining’s Priest was delivering his sermon when he mentioned “trying to help everyone, even if they didn’t believe in God”. Shining took offence to this, walked up to the Alter and hit the Priest in the face. Everyone was shocked and Shining was thrown out by his parents. He had nothing except the clothes on his back and his Bible which was given to him by his Grandmother who taught him that if you weren’t Christian, you were worthless.
Shining began to live on the street and became known as the “local weirdo”. He would stand on the corners of streets, preaching to the people who walked by. No one bothered to listen but Shining continued to talk. It was only when a local fight promoter walked and offered Shining a match at the local wrestling event did he ever consider a career in wrestling. He quickly rose to the top of the State rankings and it wasn’t long before he was offered a job in JBW.

Did you know? – Shining has inserted a piece of steel after each “Book” in the Bible. That is why he has used it as a weapon many times, and why it has knocked out a few opponents many times.

Leonard Ray Beauregard
25 years old
240 lbs.
From: The Great State of Mississippi in the heart of the Confederate States of America

Finisher: Dixie Drop (Devil Lock DDT), Trailer Hitch (A.T. Lock, it was the Gorilla Clutch but I think I like the A.T. Lock better)

Regular Moves: Suplex variations, Springboard back elbow, guillotine leg drop, brawling, various submissions.

Started off training in Memphis Championship Wrestling with the likes of Jerry Lawler and Bill Dundee. After learning the basics of the craft he decided to travel up to Canada to learn how to be the best from Lance Storm. After spending 2 years getting stretched 6 ways to Sunday he started traveling to perfect his game and get his name known. He went back to MCW where he was a multiple time Southern Heavyweight Champion. Lenny then got invited to wrestle in Japan where he had legendary battles with some of the best such as Prince Devitt, Kenny Omega, and Kota Ibushi. After touring Japan he decided to come back home to America where he traveled the indy circuit without much success. Finally he got a call from JBW that they wanted to give him a shot. Since then Lenny Ray has showcased himself as one of JBWs brightest young talents and a future champion in the company.

JMan (Current Warfare World Champion)
Backstory: Growing up in South Philadelphia in the early nineties, Jman fell In love with ECW and pro wrestling as a whole. After a year or two of going to ECW Arena for every show, Jman became a part of the family there. The knowledge he gained from guys like Tommy Dreamer, Jerry Lynn, Rob Van Dam, and even Paul Heyman served Jman well in his own career which took him on a very successful run up and down the eastern US. After nearly ten years working the indy circuit, Jman finally got his shot and arrived in EWNCW. However, the stage proved to be too big and Jman never really got off the ground there. Just when it seemed liked he was headed back to the indies, Jman got a job offer from WWTNA Mark to come to his new company called JBW. Jman took a chance and accepted.

JBW Career: After joining JBW on February, 22nd, 2011 Jman went on to become one half of The Aristocrats, one of the greatest tag teams in JBW history and longtime JBW Tag Team Champions. The Aristocrats broke up in June and with that, Jman turned his sights to singles competition. After disposing of RamJam and VKM at Monarchy of Aggression and Rampage of the Titans respectively, Jman finally got his shot at the gold. After a seven week buildup, Jman defated Ryusuke “Shuriken” Serra (formerly Shuriken Blade) in his hometown of Philadelphia to become WARfare World Heavyweight Champion and (as of this writing) holds the championship.

12-07-2011, 08:09 PM
AWF Interview with Two of a Kind by Straight Edge Zero

Here is the first question:

How is it that Two of a Kind came to be and why choose the AWF as the efed to make your grand debut in?

Kid Wonder: Very good question im impressed well it all began when i wrestled back in the AWC (australian wrrestling council) and i was put in an impromptu tag team championship match with El Amoney. We lost that match but because of the pain that the champions at the time inflicted on me personally post match i decided to buy another shot with El Amoney which we won and held those titles for two and a half years until El Amoney got greedy and decided to ask for more money so i sackedhim and went recruiting and thats where Mad Dog comes in.

Paul Conrad: I fought from a very young age as in my youth i was an orphan and wasnt very happy with this pedicament and got into trouble with the law for starting fights all the time so one of my good friends Matthew Capallo or wrestling name Macapallo got me into the PWAA (Professional Wrestling Association of Australia) which we had a quite successful run of things until it was announced that either Macappalo or myself would recieve a world title shot at the next PPV. I said to macappalo could have the shot as i owed him a lot only for him to brag and brag about how he deserved this and how no one could stop him so i waltzed down the ring and beat the shit out of him. Went to court and Kid Wonder promised to get me of all charges as long as i signed a lucrative contract to partner him which i took and after many successful amatuar indy title runs Kid got in contact with all the feds here and HolyJose was more then accomodating and so he should be.

One your biggest successes in the AWF include being the inagural and reigning AWF Tag Team Champions, how has being champions let alone being the first ever AWF Tag Team Champions felt and what doe sTwo of a Kind plan for the future in AWF?

Paul Conrad: our plan is to dominate the awf in not only tag team division but also in singles comps

Kid Wonder: and to make our presence profitable

Care to elaborate on what being profitable means to you?

Kid Wonder: not really but seeing how you asked so nicely we are here to turn a profit and our name is synonymous with good quality tag team wrestling which these people pay to see and in return raises our stock prices so to speak or our bargaining power if you will

Speaking of quality tag team wrestling, you are also part of the Blacklist Wrestling Alliance or BWA as many so frquently refer to it; how has being a part of BWA impacted the careers of the two of you as Two of a Kind?

Paul Conrad: To Be honest it has been an aventure with many ups and some downs we haven't had championship glory due to Alex Hamilton always putting us in ridiculous title matches but we have had some big main event wins and are looking forward to wearing gold soon

Kid Wonder: and if anyone watched todays show we just beat the AWF and his tag team partner in a title defense on BWA so we are definitely hitting our straps.

If you were to gain gold in BWA while remaining the AWF Tag Team Champions, you would be recognized as the very first team the indy efed scene to be Undisputed Tag Team Champions a huge honor for any team but how big of an honor would it truly be for Two of a Kind?

Kid Wonder: It will be an amazing honour for us to become undisputed champions. That would truly solidify us aa the greatest tag team that the indy scene has ever witnessed.

Paul Conrad: And for me personally coming from the roots i have it would be the complete reversal of what every one had predicted id become and was becoming whic is a low life scum.

Two Of A Kind: We will become undisputed tag team champions.

All right my final question to you is: What does does the future hold for Two of a Kind and is there anything you would like to say to your fans out there?

Kid Wonder: The future will be full of gold, gold gold gold gold gold.

Paul Conrad: We want to dominate the tag team scene in this e-fed and be known as the greatest tag team in e-fedding history and to our fans.... Stay tuned because

We are Two Of A Kind and we mean business.

Now it’s time for some Fan Mail with our resident asshole, Simon Cole!

Simon Cole here for Fan Mail. I can’t believe I’m having to do this shit again. Alright…let’s see what you dumbasses have to say. The first one is from Ballson Meface and he writes…

JBW sucks you don't have Andy Amazing there. There for your show isn't amazing.

Well, ok. Hey Zap, are you getting this? This guy thinks Andy Amazing is the only thing keeping JBW from being amazing. Get the guy on the roster now! While your at it, get Luke Jameson from HWA. Apparently mediocre wrestlers are the way to go nowadays.

Mygoodies284 sends…

Why doesn't RomanFlare get his deserved Title Shots?

You know what? That question hounds me just as much as, “Why doesn’t RamJam get his deserved Title Shots? Why doesn’t Zap Alderman get his deserved Title Shots? How about Demonic? He’s been doing great. He should be the new face of the company.”

Familyxxguyxxforever!xx writes…

Those three imposters you have are not Peter, Quagmire, and Joe. You guys suck.

That is to Peter, Quagmire, and Joe. How do they know so much about themselves if they weren’t?

We also got a special piece of mail from the man who started the JBW Magazine. Rated R(ob)KO writes...

This is the former captain of the JBW Magazine crew speaking and I just want to put out there that the crew did a fine job with the October issue. As many know, I had to step down due to personal reasons and due to me getting a promotion to one of the head writers of JBW. I thank you guys for really seeing this through. It means a lot and glad its being done. FOR THE CAUSE!

Thank you Rob. This is what some of the publishers wanted to say...

From HolyJose: It means a lot R(ob) you're one hell of a guy best of luck with your family!

From SEZ: Thank you Rob, for bringing us together under a great purpouse and we will not let you and any Jabesters down =]

From zapphoman: Thank you Rob and thank you for putting faith in us to get this magazine done. This wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you!

That’s it for fan mail. If you want your fan mail read and answered in the magazine, sent it to the douchebag with the name JBW Magazine Fan Mail. Until then and like always…Go Fuck Yourselves!

12-07-2011, 08:11 PM
Thanks Simon Cole Now onto Football with Broc and Sleepy Loco

Ask Broc: NFL Expert

AFC Top 3

#3 Cincinnati Bengals- the Bengals are having a very surprising year so far this year, I honestly expected them to sink to the bottom of a competitive AFC North but they're are very well still alive, I honestly believe that there will be three teams from the AFC north that make the playoffs this year, also the Bengals are Currently at #3 but if they beat the Steelers this week I would call them #2

#2 Pittsburgh Steelers- I HATE to call the Steelers the 2nd best team in the AFC, but at this point the Ravens have beaten them twice so I really have no choice but to call them #2 right now although of course I will still be expecting them to win the super bowl this year :)

#1 Baltimore Ravens- I hate to say it but at this point the Ravens are the best team in the AFC, I hate them of course but I obviously respect them, the Ravens are looking very scary right now and after the last game with the Steelers I think they've proved that for now they are the best team in the AFC

AFC Bottom 3

#3 Cleveland Browns- I honestly thought the browns were going to be taking a step up this year and moving up to third in the AFC North but really they have just played terrible this year, Peyton Hillis is looking terrible, Colt McCoy is not standing out like he did last year and it just seems that nothing is going their way...... but what else is new

#2 Miami Dolphins- the Miami Dolphins are definitely deserving of this spot, while I see this team with a lot of potential and a lot of fight they are going nowhere right now. I honestly do hope my man Bill Cowher comes back to coach this team next year because I really believe that he could bring out the potential that this team has shown

#1 Indianapolis Colts- well the Colts obviously have an excuse for doing terrible this year but I honestly think they would still be bad with Peyton Manning playing, obviously not as bad but still bad none the less

AFC Rookie of the Year

my AFC Rookie of the Year thus far is Andy Dalton, the guy is leading a team that last year was what 5-11, into a playoff contender

Mid Season AFC MVP

Ben Roethlisberger- yes I know you will all call me biased but Ben has really earned it, look at his Offensive Line and how well he has been doing, he has been giving his team a better chance to win then any QB in the AFC so that is why I chose Ben for this.


#3 - Detroit Lions (6-2) - This team started strong going 5-0, but after losing to the 49ers and the Falcons 2 weeks in a row they have dropped in the NFC standings. The Lions have it pretty easy in 2nd half of this season, but they still have to play the still perfect Green Bay Packers twice.

#2 - San Francisco 49ers (7-1) - This team is looking like the 49ers of the 90's they are playing very well on both sides of the ball. Since Jim Harbaugh has taken over this is a brand new 49ers with the same players like Alex Smith, who after the pre-season most fans were mad at the owners for not cutting him. But this team is looking strong, expect this team to finish close to the top of the NFC. With a division like the NFC West, that has only won a combined 5 games, these guys have the easiest 2nd half of the season in the league.

#1 - Green Bay Packers (8-0) - Sitting comfortably at a perfect 8-0, the Packers are looking unbeadtable thus far. Aaron Rodgers is looking better then he did last year when he was named the Superbowl mvp. Exept for playing Detroit twice and playing the Giants in New York, The Packers also have an easy rest of the season.

Expect to see all three of these teams in the playoffs, with either Green Bay or San Francisco winning home field advantage throughout the playoffs.


#3 - Seattle Seahawks (2-6) - Despite nothing looking good about this team they have managed to put together 2 wins. This team is looking worse than they did last, when they made it into the playoffs despite finishing with a 7-9 record.

#2 - Minnesota Vikings (2-6) - After Donovan McNabb was benched for the 2nd time in as many seasons, they are left to "Ponder" about their future in the quarterback position.

#1 - St. Louis Rams (1-7) - Las Vegas native, Steven Jackson is the best thing going on this team. They have just been getting demolished in the first half of this season. The Rams have only managed to scrape together 1 win this season, suprisingly against the New Orleans Saints.


Cam Newton - This rookie has shown great potential to be a future top quarterback. You have to ignore the Panthers 2-6 record and look at this guy's stats. He is 6th in total passing yards so far this year, 2,393, beating out a SB mvp, Eli Manning, and 3X pro-bowler, Tony Romo. And he is tied 4th with only 9 interceptions. This guy has a bright future ahead of him in the NFL.


There is only 1 man in the NFC that deserves this award and that is last yer's superbowl mvp, Aaron Rodgers. He is 4th in total passing yards, 2,619. And 2nd among starting quarterbacks in interceptions, with only throwing 3 to the opposing team. The way he and the Green Bay Packers are playing I can see them repeating as superbowl champions.

The Sleeper's Pick for Super Bowl Champions
Green Bay Packers

If I was more into football, I would say I enjoyed that. Unfortunately I’m not but I imagine some of our readers did and that’s good enough for me! Now we are going on…Twitter Watch with HolyJose!!

Hello all this is Twitter Watch. Here I suggest who in JBW is must see on twitter and out there in the ring. This month it is none other than former JBW Showdown Heavyweight Champion and the Internation Superstar Daniel May! Daniel May has been impressive since his debut and shows no signs of slowing down. No doubt that he can make it out of development in Showdown and make it to either WARFare or Mayhem and be a future world champion and is high interactive with his fans on twitter. Watch out world Daniel May is a hurricane (or is it Typhons in Australia ah whatever) and his wind is just picking up!

Now it’s time for a video game break. We have a new reviewer of the joy stick and console overheating wonders and his name is HeelTurn and the game he is reviewing in this installment in the sequel to the smash hit Batman: Arkham Asylum. Arkham City has been getting rave reviews but let’s see what HeelTurn thinks of it…


Hello Jabesters it is me, HT here with a review of what in my opinion is one of the finest games of the year so far, and without question a treat for all superhero and Batman fans alike, is it better than Arkham Asylum? Read on dear friends and I will reveal all (without spoilers of course haha).

Story Overview: Arkham City sees millionaire playboy Bruce Wayne trapped inside a part of Gotham City closed off from the rest of society, and full of the most nefarious villains from the comic book series. Whilst inside he uncovers a sinister plan by the owner of Arkham City, Hugo Strange, and before long he is gliding, grappling and fighting his way through hostile territory in a quest to stop the villainous Hugo Strange and uncover his plan in full. However a city full with criminal masterminds soon provides the Caped Crusader with even more challenges, from rescuing Catwoman from Two-Face, to confronting old nemesis The Penguin, and coming face to face with his deadliest foe, The Joker, who has a sinister plan of his own for Gotham's Dark Knight.

Gameplay: If you are familiar with the games predessesor, then you will know all about how the game works. For those who dont, heres a brief overview. The game is set in a large area, and is essentially a sandbox game. Batman must fight his way through the city completing missions to progress the story. The game offers a healthy blend of action, stealth and puzzle solving, and to aid you through the quest, Batman has a large array of gadgets from the returning Bat Claw and Batarang to the Freeze Bombs developed by Mr Freeze. Running through Arkham City punching and kicking thugs will end up with the game over screen soon following, the bad guys in this games use a variety of weapons of their own, so utilising Batman's gadgets and trademark steath and scare tactics is the way to go.

Longevity: After you finish the main game (which in itself is a real dousy of a story, trust me) Arkham still has a lot to offer for those willing to put in the time. Making its welcome return from the original Arkham game are the Riddler trophy and riddles, only this time there are 400 to collect. In addition there is a variety of side missions ready to play, including tracking down a sinister serial killer and rescuing hostages from deadly SAW esque deathtraps. Moreover once the game has been finished you are able to play the story again, this time with all gadgets unlocked, but with the added pressure of tougher and smarter enemies, plus the counter alerts removed.

12-07-2011, 08:14 PM
Pros and Cons: If you didnt like the original you probably wont like this, its essentially the same gameplay, just in a new area. The story and characters are great and the game offers villains and heroes for both hardcore fans and casual fans alike. Theres plenty to do which is a good thing, as the story shouldnt take you too many hours to complete. Now this game does have some difficult segments, some of the training missions can be fidly, and the sheer amount of challenges is a bit overwhelming. On the subject of challenges, all you Trophy/Achievement whores out there may be a bit put off by the amount and difficulty.

So overall Im going to give this game a very respectable 9/10.

I (zapphoman) have played Arkham City and I have to say, I agree with everything you said HeelTurn. It’s an awesome game that shouldn’t be missed by any Batman fan or self-respecting gamer. Now we are going to go from Video Games to music with HolyJose.

Hello all and welcome back to another Music Corner! I'm HolyJose and I will be reviewing three albums for your reading pleasure and hopefully you'll go out and buy them. The three albums I'll review are Avenged Sevenfold's "Nightmare" Bullet For My Valentine's "Fever" and in the classic corner we have Guns N Roses legendary "Appetite for Destruction". Woah a lot of great songs here Let's get it started.

Album: Nightmare
Artist: Avenged Sevenfold
Genre: Heavy Metal/Hard Rock
This album is the first album to not feature their drummer Jimmy "The Rev" Sullivan after his untimly death on December 28th 2009. Filling in on drums for this album is the legendary Mike Portnoy formally of Dream Theater. The album starts off with the track Nightmare which is heavy from the get go. The song starts off with Synyster Gates and Zacky Vengeance in a heated guitar intro when M. Shadow's wails "NIGHTMARE!!!" The song shows great composition and deals heavily with the death of The Rev. The next track to watch out for is "Welcome to the Family" which has an impressive drum intro remincisnt of Dream Theater. The track is a welcoming song to Mike who really stepped up in their time of need. The third track that I say should be watched out for is "So Far Away" a ballaad very much like their song "Seize the Day" off City of Evil. The song is a clear tribute to The Rev who is far away but ever so near them in their hearts and in the fans hearts. Overall this album is fantastic the band pulled together after the tragic death of the Rev and released an album he would have been proud of.
Overall Score out of 5: 4.5/5

Album: Fever
Artist: Bullet For My Valentine
Genre: Heavy Metal
Bullet For My Valentine is back with their 3rd full-length album Fever. This album is a lot heavier than that of their last effort "Scream, Aim, Fire." The album starts off with the song "Your Beatrayal" (entrance theme of none other than myself HolyJose) with a thunderous drum intro by Moose and goes into Matt Tuck's guitar intro. The song is full of anger and betrayal from a loved one. It then goes into the title tack "Fever" which is a sexually charged song and the fever obviously being their libido but a great song to listen to. Then it delves into "The Last Fight" a song that really gets one pumped and also a message of not fighting others but an internal battle amongst oneself. Up next is "A Place Where You Belong" a great ballad that really shows Mike Padgets guitar work with a spectacular solo. Those are some of the best tracks on the album along with another ballad "Bittersweet Memories" Overall this album was heavier than their last one but the work put into it was spectacular and Bullet For My Valentine show no signs of slowing down.
Overall Score out of 5: 4/5

Classic Corner
Album: Appetite for Destruction
Artist: Guns N Roses
Genre: Straight up Rock n Roll
The line up vocals Axl Rose, Lead Guitar: Slash, Drums: Steven Adler, Rhythm Guitar: Izzy Stradlin and Bass: Duff McKagen. These men in the late 1980s released one of if not the most influential Rock albums of all time, Appetite for Destruction. When asking anyone of Guns N Roses this is the album that put them on the map. The album starts off with the most recognizable riffs that Slash has ever done, Welcome to the Jungle. The song is about moving to Los Angeles to make it big in the music scene and this song did just that for the band. The song has forever gone down as one of the best Hard Rock songs of all time. Another stand out track is "Paradise City" "Take me down to the paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty" damn give me a one way ticket there! The song shows Axl's vocal ability and that they can be fast and percise when playing and this song is perfect for them and again gone down as a classic by them. Lastly the standout song is "Sweet Child O'Mine" the most recognizable guitar riff of all time and one of the best ballads to ever be released. Guns N Roses showed their softer side with this song while keeping it mildly heavy and the result was this a beautiful masterpiece and a center part of GNR's set since it's inception.
Overall score out of 5: 5/5

There you have it folks 3 great Hard Rock albums for your listening pleasure. Be sure to check out next months issue where I review the one and on;y Young Sau's album. Thanks again for joing me here tonight!

12-07-2011, 08:16 PM
Awesome reviews of three awesome records! Great stuff HolyJose! Now we are going to go back in time and see what was great in JBW!

JBW Remembered with Jman

(QUOTE=Bodom;77691]I give you 2 weeks until you give up.[/QUOTE]

Nope. I'll keep on building stars and kicking ass in the rating! :)

Two weeks.
I’ll be honest, I thought Bodom was right. I didn’t think there was any way WWTNA Mark, who had proved to be nothing more than a giant pain in the ass to that point in his EWN tenure, could possibly compete with EWNCW. The ugly exit of THEKEVINBRAND looked like the beginning of the end but I think it actually showed Dubs that doing this was going to take some hard fookin' work. Work he was willing to put in.

From day one, Dubs made all the right moves. He brought in guys like Kash, Sau, SES, and I to give JBW some credibility, he didn’t try to go head to head with Inferno, and he came up with some decent (albeit pedestrian by today’s standards) storylines for our first few weeks. Looking back now though, I see that Dubs had an ace up his sleeve that even his most ardent supporter couldn’t imagine he could pull off.

The main storyline leading up to our first PPV, Blood Harvest, was the WARfare World Heavyweight Championship feud between IPITB (I Poop in the Bath) and current WARfare Tag Team Champion, Snair. The other main selling point of the show was the debut of a mystery man. Fearing Dubs was going to do something stupid, I PMed him a few days before the big PPV to see who this mystery man was. My worst fears (seemingly) came true. Dubs told me he was going to bring in, as a bot only, former EWN jackass “The Pike” and have him win the WARfare world title. After I told him, in no uncertain terms, how terrible an idea I thought that was, he agreed to “go in another direction.” Knowing what I know now about Dubs protection of secrets and kayfabe, I realize the whole Pike thing was a lie. As any JBW historian who knows his ass from a hole in the ground can tell you, TheDevilsAdvocate debuted at Blood Harvest. That move did three things.

First, it started the EWNCW-JBW feud. (being that TDA was a big deal in EWNCW at the time he jumped ship.) Second, it gave the IPITB-Snair feud some much needed spice. Third, it established us as a serious company. TDA has never won a World title (although he sure as fuck should) but, in my opinion anyway, we wouldn’t be here without him.

Or Dubs.

I actually remember seeing that. I laughed when I first read it because it was a few months after JBW started that I joined JBW (this is zapphoman BTW) and JBW had become a powerhouse. Sorry Bodom but you were wrong. Now on from wonderful JBW stuff to wonderful HWA stuff with this shoot interview from Broc and conducted by Tommy Thunder!

Broc Shoot Interview, Part 1
TT: Well first of all broc, thanks very much for asking me to conduct this interview. I feel honored to have been chosen out of all the other guys here!

Broc: well to tell the truth Tommy I think you were the only person in all of HWA that I thought could conduct this interview the way it should be conducted

TT: Well that's great to hear, now let's get down to business. Now, you're the proud owner and founder of EWN's 3rd E-fed. First of all tell me why you decided to start up your own e-fed?

Broc: well Tommy when I first came to EWN I had no clue about anything concerning e feds, I just came hear to talk about wrestling but when I posted my welcome thread you, Rich, and a few other people were asking me to join an e fed so I decided to check it out, at first I did and it didn't really excite me, after I posted that I probably didn't log in for about a month but I decided I would try this e fed thing, I saw JBW out there so I signed up, and after reading one of there shows I told myself "that is definitely something I want to do" so that is how HWA was formed

TT: I see. Now, as a member of HWA from day one myself, I've seen the company grow and evolve. Going back to the origins, it started out as an 'ECW-esque' extreme E-fed. Why did you choose to go down that route?

Broc: well first off HWA definitely has evolved for the bette, if I wrote a show today like the first one I wrote I wouldn't be able to live with myself but I have grown so much as a writer since doing this that it has really helped me and HWA for the better

as far as the Hardcore gimmick, I knew that there were 2 big feds EWNCW and JBW, so I knew if I was going to get people to join I had to make myself stick out so I decided to go with a Hardcore gimmick

TT: Well you're right there. In my opinion, HWA is on the verge of not being an 'indy' e-fed.
Now, the hardcore gimmick isn't as prominent as it was at the beginning. Why did you decide to move away from that?

Broc: well Tommy when I started getting people to join and had a decent sized roster I guess I thought that with a completely Hardcore style of matches it wouldn't be taken as seriously, I still like to consider HWA Hardcore though, maybe not as Hardcore as it should be, but every title match has a stipulation so that's a good start, but I think over the next few months we are going to start to see the H in HWA start to stick out more

TT: Alright. Now speaking of expanding rosters, you are on the verge of debuting a new brand. This is a huge step forward for HWA is it not?

Broc: oh ya it is a very huge step forward, I have my cousin Sully ready to write a good show which I think he could very well be better than me at, I'm sure you remember awhile back Tommy the very first fully typed match on HWA, Mark Dimensions vs. Azreal in a street fight don't you? Sully typed that whole thing in about 20 minutes, that would have taken me at least 2 hours and it probably wouldn't have been as detailed so Sully is the perfect guy for this job and I can't wait to be able to sit back and read an HWA show that I didn't write

TT: Well it's great to hear we're in good hands going forward!
Now I'm going to throw out some HWA related topics for you, and you can come back and say anything you want regarding them ok?

Broc: this will be fun

12-07-2011, 08:19 PM
TT: Ok, here we go.
Straight to the top, the World title, and the fact that you've booked me to hold it from day one

Broc: ah somebodies looking for an ego boost

well on the first episode I had it decided that either you Mark Steel or Damien Icarus would be the world champion, until about 30 seconds before booking it I had Mark Steel set to win it,but then I thought that a great heel title run would be great for HWA so I then had to decide if I were going to give the title to you or Damien Icarus, and after looking through both of your bios and gimmicks I thought that you were the #1 choice for the world title

now as to you still having the title, a lot has played into that especially DUBS stepping down from HWA, when his character Mark Steel was about to go into one of the best story lines I had planned out, until he did step down so who knows maybe had DUBS not left the belt would belong to someone else

TT: In all seriousness, I just wanted to get that one out of the way as quickly as possible.

How about the current Universal champion Luke Jameson and his reign?

Broc: I absolutely love Luke as a champion, he sells babyface more than anyone else on the roster and I had it predetermined that when there was a mid card title he would be the one to win it

TT: Alex Kidd.

Broc: Alex Kidd.... does not deserve a push..... yet, Kidd has really been improving lately, at first when he came in I didn't see much potential by the way his promos were written, they were short and sloppy so I didn't see much i him but now he has really been stepping up to the plate and is starting to get the hang of things

TT: Azreal.

Broc: I was devastated when Azreal first left HWA, I had a lot in store for Azreal but HJ had his own fed to do which I completely understood, but the thing that he did that I loved was HJ left in the most respectable way he could, by finishing his story line, unlike 2 certain people that used to be on our roster not saying any names or anything but their names start with SEZ and CN

as far as Azreal now, he is really impressing me with his promos and I have some great stuff in store for his feud with thejman

TT: I'll be getting to those 'names' eventually!
but since you mentioned him, thejman.

Broc: well Jman was in the original HWA for like 2 weeks, but I'm glad to have him back even if it is only part time

TT: On to another part timer; THEKEVINBRAND who plays kevin Matthews.

Broc: let me correct you there Kev is no longer a part timer he is now full time on HWA

now Kev is a really cool guys who I love talking to, I honestly feel bad for him though due to the immaturity by Straight Edge Zero, when Kev came into HWA I gave him the choice to feud with anyone on the roster and out of all of the roster he chose Jason Alexander, which he and Alexander were having a great feud until SEZ had to act like a little girl over someone disagreeing with him, but I've been able to get past that but I don't know how Kev feels about it, but now Kev has a new feud which hopefully can be twice as good as his old one

TT: Well that's great to hear. xStraightxEdgexSaviorx.

Broc: on JBW he's great, but on HWA he is terrible, I've had to write for him like 3 times, I mean I understand the guy is busy but he always gets his promos in late if at all

however when he does get them in they're brilliant, I love the Icarus promos but SES is either extremely busy, or extremely lazy, actually probably both

TT: Pumpkinhead/Hans Beerstein.

Broc: I'll be honest at first I didn't like his gimmick, the perfect gentleman thing at first I thought it was stupid and pointless but after seeing his promos start to get better and better, I really started to like his gimmick more and even though he is now on Legacy I will still do my best to get Hans a good place in HWA

TT: Sully.

Broc: Sully is your best competition for the best promo guy in HWA, recently I think his promos have been lacking compared to his old ones but he is face now which could be why but he is still doing rock solid promos

as far as Sully OOC, Sully is a cool guy he seems to be a dick to a lot of people for some reason (no idea why) but I'm glad that I showed him EWN and that he's around here

TT: Ok, now let's move onto the more controversial names you alluded to earlier. First off, Straight Edge Zero. What exactly happened, and what are your thoughts of him now? Shoot!

Broc: aw SEZ I've been waiting for this one

you see I was trying to get some new members to creative and I was asking Sully who he thought should be on the team and his first option was SEZ, and I even told him that SEZ always gets pissed off for no reason but he insisted that we let him in so I thought "what the hell I'll give him a chance" well he took that chance and shoved it up his, even before he quit all he ever did was bitch and complain about every little thing, and every time we disagreed with him he would get pissed and say that "the only ideas I listen to are the ones from Sully" I listen and consider every idea even if it's not from someone on creative but he just had to think that because I disagreed with him that I wasn't listening to him.

but all of that might not have even bothered me that much if he hadn't been a complete dick and left without finishing his story line, and then he even told us "not to use Jason Alexander" not even to write him off which was the most immature thing I have ever seen in my time here

and TT you already said that you at EWNCW wouldn't let him into your home so everyone on JBW especially you Kash because I know you're interested in this guy, please make the right decision because as a member of the JBW roster I wouldn't want to work with someone like that

TT: And I think you've already answered this, but you'd never consider working with him again?

Broc: well actually I'm glad you mentioned that, I'm actually in a story line with Alexander on AWF, this was determined before he quit, but me and him are currently in a story line on AWF but believe me I'm not by ant means doing it for him I'm doing it for HJ, and not to mention it won't be your "regular" feud, and you'll see what I mean by that in the near future by tuning into AWF

TT: Hmm, sounds interesting!
Well let's move on to the other man you mentioned earlier; chunkkynutzzz, or Mark Dimension.What was the deal with him, and give us some of your thoughts on him now.

Broc: well in Dimensions case it wasn't "as" bad, he really wasn't involved in a story line so I granted his release but then I hear him saying stuff behind my back in the EWNCW thread which pissed me off because if he wanted to say that he hates HWA I would have rather had him say it to my face then hiding from it, and after I called him out on it he sends me a fucking PM saying that "oh I wasn't really leaving HWA I was just setting up a story line so I could come back later" I really couldn't believe he tried to do a stunt like that without giving me any info on it at all so don't expect to see him back in HWA

TT: Pretty stupid on his part then. You say he wouldn't be welcomed back in HWA, but would you consider working with him again in another fed if required?

Broc: if required... I guess but I doubt I will have to

TT: Alright. Now one interesting thing I need to ask you about HWA is the collapsed virtual idea. What in the world happened to that?

Broc: well Tommy there was a lot of effort put into the virtual idea and it was a great idea that could have pulled through but Sully had an opinion and he voiced it, and he pointed out a lot of good facts about the virtual idea that could have ended up crumbling down, the virtual idea for HWA is not completely over once I see it in action with IHV on UWE I may ask him to bring it back to HWA but I also may not I'm not sure where we go from here on that subject

TT: If I'm honest (and I think I've said this before), if the virtual idea had taken off and was successful, I honestly think that it could have catapulted HWA up to compete with EWNCW and JBW. Let's hope we do see it back.
On the subject of the orchestrator of the idea though, what happened to ihearvoices? He isn't active in HWA any more, is there more to that than meets the eye?

Broc: IHV is still on the roster but he hasn't posted there in awhile yes but that is not at all because of the virtual idea going down IHV is a busy guy with JBW, UWE, and now reviewing the feds which is great for him, but I say don't look to far into this as there isn't really much to look into

TT: Great!
Now let's move on to talk about the other e-feds. First of all, AWF.

Broc: I love AWF, they put on quality shows and HJ runs a tight ship there and I'm proud to be over there

TT: Ok. BWA.

Broc: who? just kidding, I haven't read many BWA shows but the ones I have have impressed me for sure these guys no how to put on a good show

TT: On to the big guns. EWNCW.

Broc: now Tommy not meant to hurt you at all but I have read 1 EWNCW show in my life, I read Rage a few weeks back and it was good for sure, but you have my word that I will read Destiny's Calling this Sunday

TT: No offense taken at all! With 5 e-feds here, it's hard to keep up with one, let alone all of them!
But finally we come to your home from home, JBW. Now why did you decide to join up with the Jabe?

Broc: I mostly joined JBW because me and DUBS were really cool he taught me all I know about fedding and I joined JBW, now even on JBW for the most part I only read showdown because that's the show I'm on other than that I rarely read Mayhem or Warfare

12-07-2011, 08:21 PM
TT: How would you say the JBW style contrasts from HWA?

Broc: well JBW and HWA aren't really that much alike, I know a lot of people call JBW a "talk show" but in all honesty if I could make a really long show like JBW does I would do it in a second, I don't even have half as many superstars JBW does but, but hopefully one day HWA will be right up there with JBW and EWNCW for the top spot

TT: Well I think it's a good thing that the feds here are different since it offers different options for potential new members to choose from.
What are your aspirations for your JBW career?

Broc: I want to be a world champion in JBW, that's what I want and I won't stop until I've achieved it

TT: Aiming for the top! I like it. Now back to HWA. What are your ambitions for the future of the company? Who are the stars we need to look out for?

Broc: HWA is the same way, I want HWA to #1 and nothing less, as far as future stars go Rob Rage, and Andy Amazing definitely stick out to me as does, the HOS, and Hans Beerstein as well, we have plenty of talent for HWA and I love being here to manage them

TT: Well I think we're just about done here. If there's anyone/anything else you want to comment/shoot on that I might have forgotten about, then I'm giving you a free platform to do so right now!

Broc: alright well let me say thanks to DUBS because without him HWA would not exist, Tommy big thanks to you for taking time out of your busy day to do this interview and to pauadrian fuck off, and that's about it thank you Tommy and.. goodbye

That was a great eye opener! Thanks broc! Now on to our final article. Zap Alderman recently became President of JBW and we asked for him to come to us and give some views of what’s going on with JBW right now. He’s wanted to talk about the Supershows so give it up for Zap with his views of the Supershow and JBW!

Hello JBW fans, I’m JBW President Zap Alderman and I’m going to give you some of my views of one of JBW’s most recent Supershow. These Supershows have been a blast to make but a lot goes into them and I’m hoping to give you, the fans, a little bit of insight into how they happen. So let’s get started!

Supershow II: Yep...Here We Go Again

Ron Burgundy

Ron Burgundy…this man has been amazing for Warfare and our Pay Per Views and he’s just as amazing for these Supershows. Ron truly embodies what JBW is. Ron is the man and JBW is where men come to compete. He’s kind of expensive (finding the kind of Scotch he wants is a pain in the ass) but JBW is more than capable to provide him with what he wants and I can’t think of anybody better to start off our shows. His parties are off the chain as well, that is at least from what I hear other people say. I’m to busy to be able to go to them.


Now this has been another great part of the Supershows is seeing both Warfare and Mayhem commentaries interacting with each other. We all know and love (maybe except Dudley, dude can be a major prick at times) these guys and what I really love about them is their diversity. From Quagmire with his giggitiness to Pat with his mostly serious attitude, the differences in personality make for unpredictable commentating unlike that one company where a man is holding the fans hostage by being allowed to talk on both shows. Now Peter, Quagmire, and Joe were actually kind of hard to get a hold of. Quagmire and Joe were actually against doing the commentary for JBW. Joe is a fan but he knew how dangerous it was (let’s be honest, we have a lot of crazy people here) and Quagmire thought it was too much of a sausage fest (fucking perv) so we had to depend on Peter to convince them and that he did. It’s been a pleasure to have them.

Felix Guerrero vs Artemis Eclipse vs Negro Feurte vs Infernio

I’m loving how our Superfly Division is coming together. Thanks to Kash doing his thing, we have plenty of talented guys to compete for the title. This match was put together as not only a number one contenders match but also a nice little exhibition of what these new guys are capable of. It was a great match to start the show off with and I have a feeling these guys are going to be big in the Superfly division. Fuerte using the mist was a little uncalled for though. I’m going to have to keep my eye on him.

K-Jammin waiter segment

K-Jammin, K-Jammin… this guy has been an absolute terror and he proves it even more with this segment. That poor waiter didn’t stand a chance. K-Jam is a very talented wrestler and he always puts on epic matches but his attitude is just deplorable. I’ve seen some of the fan mail that comes to the magazine and K-Jammin is receiving death threats. The heat this man receives when he comes to the ring can only be matched by the sun. The attitude needs to change for his own good. Loved what this segment started though. Who would of thought that…wait a minute. Don’t need to spoil that gold filled nugget quite yet.

12-07-2011, 08:24 PM
The Alpha Dog and Selena

And now Alpha is dipping the pen in the company ink. Now what the JBW wrestlers do behind closed doors and with the cameras off is none of our business but Alpha was told that his…side business would only be tolerated if it didn’t affect the JBW name and the other wrestlers here. Also I didn’t bring Selena, who used to be a high profile Knockout for one of the other companies, over to JBW to play as The Alpha Dogs cock cushion. I can’t do anything about this instance because I wasn’t president when it happened but I’m going to make sure he knows from now on.

Other than that, I’m really hoping that Alpha takes his sessions with Kelly seriously. That situation with Fernandez was a close call.

Two Of A Kind vs Il Cavitto

I have a lot of hopes for Two Of A Kind. Paul and Kid are a powerhouse that screams future tag champs. I can’t wait to see what happens with the triple threat match at Expect the Unexpected. Don’t know how I feel about the cheap win though.

Il Cavitto…a tag team that fight with each other? Wouldn’t that make it kind of hard to be successful in tag team wrestling? There’s no point to being a tag team if you’re going to fight with your partner. These two need to get their shit together, or I will see no point in them being a tag team.

La Mafia Mejicana are making some waves here in JBW. Mr. Santiago has one of the worst attitudes I have ever seen and the way he treats Vanquero is freakin insulting. That crap may have been tolerated over at the other company but not here at JBW and I’m only going to give Santiago so many chances before I consider pushing Vanquero and make Santiago our toilet cleaner. They are also barking up a very dangerous tree messing with Two of a Kind.

Brandon Smithson, Jay, and Paulie segment!

Brandon singing Be Prepared from The Lion King…instant approval! I love that movie and I marked out when it happened.

Paulie has a lot to lose at Expect the Unexpected. Really both teams do but the Paulie trio are going against one established name and two celebrities who have never been in the ring. Pressures on Paulie… you better hope you don’t choke on it.

Selena vs Sasha
In this match, Selena showed the world why I brought her to JBW. She is confident in her abilities and she can wrestle with the best of them. I really have high hopes for her. She just needs to prioritize and not let Alpha effect her focus on her career.

Sasha lost the match but she did well in it. Both of these ladies put on an awesome match showing that our womens division is going to be something to behold.

Tracey returning to JBW was unexpected and her going straight for Selena makes me believe it’s because of Alpha due to Alpha and Traceys somewhat short history. I also have to wonder how this is going to affect Fernandez, aka The Black Tear, as it was because of her departure that he shifted into what he is now.

It was nice to see Ayako come out to the ring and help Selena. Who knows how Selena would of turned out if she didn’t.

The tag match between these four ladies is going to be interesting. I can’t wait to see it.

The Devil’s Rejects Segment

I had a feeling this was going to happen but not at the degree it happened. As soon as TDA was out of the picture, TDR would crumble. I wasn’t going to allow them on Warfare anymore so Chainsaw instantly turns on his brother and violently forces Tad, Ram, Ice Cream, and Black Tear out of The Devil’s Rejects. Tad Locust was pretty hurt by this.

Ma$$, Jan, and Siaki

I wonder with how many times Ma$$ meets with that Jan lady on our shows if something will come out of it. Are they destined to meet ever week and admit that they are each others one? I wonder...nah.

Ma$$ and Siaki are going to do wonders for the Tag Team division. The fans love them and their chemistry is top notch, the rap scene right here making it extremely obvious. I can’t wait to see what they do with it.

The Silver Bros vs The Jackasses

Yeah, more like Brick and Damian destruction moment. These guys showed those two teams who was the most dominate in the match and it certainly wasn’t the men who were actually involved in the match. I really should be getting on to the two gents over this but seeing how the crowd reacted to it, I’ll just give them a slap on the wrist for it.

I wonder why they decided to have The Jackasses win. Are Brick and Damian singling out The Silver Bros? Do they feel threatened by them? From what we saw in this match, I really don’t think so.

Rob Rage, NVON (his name is a bitch to remember) and the Polly Pablo situation

It’s understandable Rob. Matt Haze got involved in the match and you’ve been having problems with him. Sure The Resistance lost the match but at the end of the night, The Resistance objective was completed. So don’t beat yourself up about it.

Rashida has become quite a nuisance over here. What she did to Polly Pablo was uncalled for and there will be consequences for it. That’s why I’m not fining Nikki for attacking Rashida as she had every right to.

These people with their anger problems. If The Alpha Dog and Rob Rage ever form a tag team…all I have to say is God help us all. Now yes, NVON did instigate Rob and NVON can be a very annoying asshole, but not even he deserved what Rage did to him. Rage has been fined and I’m going have to do something about all these attacks.

The Alpha Dog and the official disbanding of The Resistance

I really have no problem with The Alpha Dogs new entrance music. It fits him to a tee.

What I do have a problem with is how he’s going about the Warfare World Championship. That title is one of the major trademarks of JBW and saying that he doesn’t want it is like saying you’re not wanting to beat a game you’ve been playing for a long time. I appreciate confidence as much as the next person but this was like spitting in the face of our most precious title and I won’t tolerate that. It seems like I have to talk to this man more and more. If he doesn’t get his act together, we may have to say goodbye to the guy.

The Resistance weren’t together for long and it’s a shame they had to disband but since TDR is divided and no longer coming to Warfare, there just wasn’t really much reason to keep them together. Every member of that group has a very bright future ahead of them and I think separating them will make them see that.

12-07-2011, 08:28 PM
K-Flare segment

Our tag team division is looking brighter and brighter every day. Brick and Damian, Ma$$ and Siaki, and these two guys. K-Jammin and RomanFlare are two of the most hated heels in JBW today. I mean the fans even hate these guys more than Chainsaw. To be honest, I’m surprised that their egos have allowed for them to remain a team but they have. I guess being a part of the same group helps out a lot.

I’m loving how crazy K-Jam is getting because of these pranks. I wonder whose behind them.

La Mafia Mejicana vs The Nasty Crew

I would of really appreciated if Two of a Kind would of waited till after the match was over before interfering. I understand the whole pride thing and them feeling like they needed to get the last punch, but at least let the ref count the one two three before ruining what could have been an awesome match.

Two of a Kind showed that they were a dominate tag team and I can’t wait till ETU to see the Triple Threat TLC match.

HolyJose and I

I had to do this. I had to go over the match with Holy, and with how late he got there, it didn’t give me enough time to go over it with him. So I decided to give Holy and Malcolm the rest of the night off.

I really like HolyJose. He has shown time and time again that not only he deserved those titles he had but he also has future World Champion written all over him. The attitude is his problem right now. He continuously alienates people. I mean hell, he even broke his own brothers arm! The Alpha Dog and him were great friends as well and not only has that been broken, I’ve been hearing that them two are about to go from just talking shit to just getting down right violent. I’m going to have to keep my eyes on them two.

Nightwolf Leaving The Devil’s Rejects

Kharma is a bitch. The Devil’s Rejects lost not only the Horrorcore Champion but also a major key to their muscle. I would say good for him, but now this means…he’s unleashed. I better make sure everybody’s insurance is on the up and up.

Ryusuke and Jman segment

I said no to their rematch because I had a different plan for them but obviously they had a little tension so I decided to give them a match. Not for the title anyway but it surly would be an interesting match adding two jobbers to the mix.

Air bu and HolyJose

Snair and Manabu have been awesome for our awesome new Tag Division. They have really shown what the new division is about. Awesome new tag teams with great chemistry together couldn’t be more obvious with these guys.

And wow. TDA must have been one powerful presence to take away peoples ability to talk.

I don’t remember giving Holy the green light to go after the Tag Titles but if Air Bu decided to accept it and Holy can find a partner that can tolerate him, I shouldn’t get in their way. I wonder who he’ll get.

The Sleeper and BodomInvader

Now this has been a great rivalry. This rivalry has really elevated both of these guys and it looks like it’s about to get ever crazier. A FLYING TABLES MATCH?!! Has JBW ever done this? It’s going to be crazy.

I loved it when Kash came out and told BI to quit being a pussy. He said everything we we’re thinking.

The Sandman and Daniel Truth segment

I wanted to give Daniel a rematch because of what The Sandman has been doing to him. Sandy has really affected the guy. Daniel might be putting up a strong front but we have all seen it backstage. Maybe if he can get motivated to get his title back, we can see a little of the old Truth back.

HolyJose, Ragnarok, and The Prophecy

So HolyJose goes to The Prophecy and asks for Ragnarok. Wow, this could be bad for Air Bu. Take the multiple skills of Holy and the power of Ragnarok and that could be a pretty formidable team.

I enjoyed the little back and forth between Proph and Holy. Prophecy truly believes that the only title he deserves is that world title. Ego is definitely one of his strong suits.

Also I would like to mention that The Prophecy and Zeus’ feud was amazing. Almost as good as The Alpha Dog and Zeus. Notice I said “Almost”.

Ma$$ and Siaki shoot promo

That shoot was amazing! It’s just another reason why these two are going to be great for the tag division.

Andy Amazing vs Dylan Cross

JBW has really evolved. Focus has been put on all aspects of our shows. The womens division, tag team division, superfly division have been revitalized to not only make our show more impressive but to make every other company (including EWNCW haha) look like second rate knock offs in comparison.

I’m excited to see what Andy Amazing is going to bring for the Superfly division. He kind of reminds me of The Alpha Dog, except for the whole third person thing and he seems to put a bit more emphasis on speed than Alpha does. Dylan Cross looks to be pretty good as well, just needs a little more personality.

Jman and Serra Tag match

I had a feeling this match wasn’t going to be able to finish. Reason why, well maybe I told Zeus and The Prophecy (separately of course…seeing as how they hate each other)…and maybe I told them that if they made a big enough of an impact that I would include them into the title scene and that they did. I knew after that little battle between the four that the title match for the Warfare World Championship at ETU had to be a four way and the writers agreed (bad me for taking the credit for an outstanding match).

It was interesting to see that Proph had to have the help of his little group to get over the other guys. He’s not going to be able to get the title that way, I guarantee it.

K-Jammin vs the prankster for the Mayhem World Title

Unfortunate about your ride K-Jam. We’ll make sure you get paid back for your ride. The look on your face is worth every penny.

So who was in the room when Ma$$ and Siaki came in and whooped a bunch of asses? I don’t think it was confirmed who was in their. I hope it wasn’t the children we brought from the make a wish foundation…that would be terrible PR.

A little message to RomanFlare from a movie I like quite a bit…”YOU JUST GOT KNOCKED THE FUCK OUT!!!!”

So it was St. George? I had no ide…Almost finished that without laughing. I was more than happy to have St. George. The way he was treated by my predecessor and K-Jam was insulting. The only reason Iron Ape fired him was because he knew George would take the title away from K-Jam. So to make things right I gave him a title shot and he did exactly what I thought he would. HE BECAME THE MAYHEM WORLD CHAMPION!!! Talk about marking the fuck out. I also enjoyed seeing Ma$$ and Siaki coming down and celebrating with the new Champion. Awesome moment indeed (Funaki style bitches!!)

Well, that’s it for this installment of views from Zap. At the moment of this writing, Expect the Unexpected is still in production. Be on the look out for the next issue to read my thoughts on what might be the best PPV in efed history!

Well, that’s it for the second issue of JBW Magazine! Thank you for reading and keep an eye out for our third issue!

Special Thanks go out to: Kashdinero, Tommy Thunder, 68wPayne, Shining Light, and Sleepy Loco! You guys rock!!

Publishers: HolyJose, Broc, Straight Edge Zero, HeelTurn, and Jman!

Editor in Chief: zapphoman

02-02-2012, 10:28 PM

Sorry for another late issue everybody but here it is, Issue three of JBW Magazine. This is going to be a big issue so let’s get to it. We will start with Music as HolyJose gives us his music reviews and don’t worry…there isn’t a boy band in sight.

Hey all It's HolyJose and I'm here again with the Music Corner where I review three AWESOME! (Yes I said it like the Miz sue me!) albums. KISS' "Sonic Boom", I'm sure THEKEVINBRAND will jizz his pants over this. Blink-182's "Neighborhoods" and in the classic corner we have the legendary Pink Floyd's "Dark Side of the Moon" Let's get this rolling!
Album: Sonic Boom
Album Cover
Artist: Kiss
Release Date:2009
KISS' first album since 1998's Psycho Circus, this album features only two of the original members of KISS Gene "The Demon" Simmons on Bass and Vocals, Paul "The Starchild" Stanley on Rhythm Guitar and Vocals, and replacing Ace Frehley, Tommy "The Spaceman" Thayer on Lead Guitar and vocals, and replacing Peter Criss, Eric "The Cat" Singer on Drums, percussion, and vocals. The album has a great feel and grove to it. While listening to the album I realized what today's modern rock is missing, a classic hard rock grove. The album from the start I feel like I'm transported back to 1977, or whatever year of the 70's you'd like, and have the stadium rock frenzy feel. The album starts off with "Modern Day Delilah" and Thayer and Stanley creating the classic KISS guitar feels. From there the album goes on with the same feel and even the song "Yes I Know (Nobody's Perfect) sounds somewhat like KISS' biggest hit "Rock and Roll All Night" and not a bad thing but definitley connects to us non hardcore KISS fans with a well known song. The stand out track to me is "When Lightning Strikes" and for one reason. MOTHERFUCKING COWBELL! Seriously the cowbell in the song has me banging my head to the beat and the groove. Overall this is a KISS album worth getting and one of their top albums that go up there with some of their classic albums such as "Destroyer", "Dressed to Kill", and "Hotter than Hell" to name a few. I highly suggest checking this album out it does not dissappoint.
Overall score out of 5: 4.5/5

Album: Neighborhoods
Album Cover
Artist: Blink-182
Release Date: 2011
Blink-182's first album since 2003's self titled album which took the band from a cheesy pop-punk direction to a more alternative mature direction is directly continued in Neighborhods. While many were expecting their toilet humor, "Enema of the State" 2. We didn't get it and I for one am glad! Blink-182 officially announced their reunion back at the 2009 Grammys, note total mark out moment for me! The album took a few years to complete with Blink touring most of the time and then Guitarist Tom Delonge touring and releasing an album and movie with his band Angels and Airwaves and Bassist Mark Hoppus doing his music show on Fuse "Mark Hoppus on Music" and Drummer Travis Barker releasing his own collaboration/Hip-hop album. In mid 2011 Blink-182 cancelled their United Kingdom tour dates in order to finish the album as to not "go out and do another 'Greatest Hits tour'" In summer 2011 along with My Chemical Romance they embarked on the Honda Civic tour which i got a chance to check out and great show from both bands Blink definitely one of their best shows! In September 2011 "Neighborhoods" dropped and in my opinon is hands down their greatest album to date. While keeping up with the alternative/pop-punk sound the album starts off with "Ghosts on the Dancefloor" this album deals with many real world problems and death is relevant in this one and an ode to DJ AM a close friend of the band who died of a drug overdose in 2009. The album then goes into my personal favorte song "Natives" and has a great guitar and dual lead singing that is classic Blink-182. Then comes "Up All Night" their first single and I have to admit it took me a while but it grew on me and is one of my favorites off the album with a chilling chorus "All these demons they keep me up all night" it uses a lot of synthesier and other electronic sounds while still rocking. It then goes into "After Midnight" which is more or less a fun song of being with the one you love all night and just getting to know them and having fun, because you know sex is overrated. Then comes " Heart's All Gone" which is classic Pop-Punk you'd expect from Blink-182 and an over all fun song. Now I got the deluxe version so there are some songs on that that are not on the regular version but rest assured that the album is over all great and I highly recommend it. It has a mixture of alternative mixed in with some Pop-punk we love from Blink. Hands down one of the best albums of 2011, Suck on that you screeching banshee Adele! Blink-182 is back and it feels like they've never left.
Overall score out of 5: 5/5

Now it is time for the Classic Corner this month we have Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon one of if not the most influential Progressive albums of all times.
Album: Dark Side of the Moon
Album Cover
Artist: Pink Floyd
Now I am not a huge Pink Floyd/ Progressive/Psychadelic rock fan which is what Pink Floyd is all about. My female friend recommened it and well hey who am I to argue with a female right? Alright so just like I expected it takes a few minutes for it to get to the actual song but once it starts again I feel like I am transported to 1973 and probably took a bad batch of 'shrooms. But I do like what I hear the first two songs "Speak to Me/Breathe" and "On the Run" are Synthyser but then goes into "Time" and clocking in at 7 minutes and 4 seconds it takes about two minutes to get to the actual song and it's pretty heavy for the time. What I highly like about the album is that it transitions well it goes from one song to another with such fluidity you don't know if you're listening to the same song or a different one and I'm pretty sure the over three minute long song "Any Colour You Like" is the guitar solo for "Us and Them" thus making the song well over 10 to 11 minutes long. But the sound made is what Pink Floyd is well known for. Actually the entire album is more one song telling a story and for the time it is unkown but Pink Floyd does it so well it is why they are the legends they are. I recommend the album if you're into long and classic rock. For me it isn't quite as amazing as others make it seem but I see why the album is legend, wait for it, dary! It was a unique concept at the time and in the 70s unique=reballious and sticking it to the man and that's what this album is it breaks all boundries and takes you to the Dark Side of the Moon
Overall score out of 5: 3.5/5

02-02-2012, 10:29 PM
It’s great to see Blink 182 get back together. They are an awesome band. Now next up, JBW recently had a cross fed pay per view with EWNCW. It was an awesome show. So I sent out questions to a few of the JBW and EWNCW talent to get their thoughts to the matches they were in. Now Two of a Kind and Domination competed in a tag team match at Collision Course. Let’s see what they have to say about the match.

Two of a Kind

Zapphoman: Hello gentlemen, I would like to ask you some questions about your match at Collision Course if that's alright with you?

Kid Wonder: Thats What you are paying us for right

Zappho: Great we will get right into it. First up, Two of a Kind has been very busy in the E-Fed industry. Being the first ever Triple Crown Champions, you guys have made your names quite known in multiple feds. Did this effect your confidence going into the match with EWNCW Tag Team Champions Domination?

Paul Conrad: Not at all, Listen... we know we are th single greatest tag team in E-Fedding history Besides maybe GodMoney who we want in the ring so our confidence was always high

Zappho: Ok next...Domination said something about how you guys gain your many championships, mainly due to you Kid Wonder paying for the opportunity with money or Paul using...some other means. Is there any truth to these accusations?

Kid Wonder: Zappho, are you really going to ask us this question, listen instead of talking ok look we brought the AWF Titles when we debuted because we knew compared to the other teams in that fed, we were the best and we have proven it because all of our titles are pure as they have only been held by us

Zappho: Two of a Kind ended up losing the match. Has this effected Two of a Kinds morale in anyway?

Paul Conrad: Absolutely not and the only reason we lost that match was because Kid Wonder was due t compete in the seven wonders tournament before he was mobbed by not 2.... not 3...... but 5 hooded guys so we were mentally not ready and Kid was not healthy to compete simple as that

Zappho: Finally, does Two of a Kind have anything else to add about the match or your opponents?

Wonder: Domination you proved you deserved those belts well done but seriously the next ten times you get in the ring with us, the results will be different

Zappho: Paul Conrad and Kid Wonder, Two of a Kind, thank you for your time.


Zappho: Alright , I would like to ask you a few questions about your match against Two of a Kind at Collision Course. Ready to get started?

Matt Geiger: if it means rubbing there noses in there self confidence sure

Zappho: Great! First off, Domination is a relatively new tag team in EWNCW. You guys are the Tag Team champions of that company but when Dominations experience is compared to the experience of an established name such as Two of a Kind, most fans would see Two of a Kind having the experience advantage due to being in the industry longer. Did this effect Dominations strategy going into Collision Course?

Barry Busmer: what you fail to realise Zapph is that we have wrestled in England, Germany and Australia and pardon the pun but dominationed every E-FEd

Matt Geiger: So when we heard Two Of A Kind was the most dominate Tag Team in E-Fedding, we had to put a stop to it.

Zappho: Ok next...Two of a Kind has gone up against quite the spectrum of tag teams due to being Triple Crown Champions. Through BWA, AWF, and EWA, they have taken on many comers, many different tag teams of different styles and sizes, and they are still the tag team champions of each of those efeds. Now with all due respect to EWNCW, due to Domination only wrestling in one company, Domination just doesn't have the chance to have that kind of training. Did Domination need to compensate for that or did they go into this match like they did any other match?

Barry Busmer: Its quality over quantity, They have beaten no one significant ok

Matt Geiger: Lets look at the Facts, They Beat the Sky high bastards and the far east warriors to win their titles, we did it for fun there is not a chance in hell that they are better then us

Zappho: Finally, is there anything Domination would like to add about the match or the opponents?

Matt Geiger: Two Of A Kind, Next time you flap your lips about being triple crown world tag team champions, just remember for the grand slam.... you gotta come throuh us

Zappho: “The Big Bang” Barry Busmer and Matt Geiger “The Geiger Machine”… Thank you for your time and congrats on your win.

Up next is a new feature for JBW Magazine. It’s time to see what movies you should or shouldn’t be watching with Straight Edge Zero…

Cowboys vs. Aliens

A stranger (Craig) stumbles into the desert town of Absolution with no memory of his past and a mysterious, futuristic shackle around his wrist. With the help of mysterious beauty Ella (Wilde) and the iron-fisted Colonel Dolarhyde (Ford), he finds himself leading an unlikely posse of cowboys, outlaws and Apache warriors to fight a common enemy from beyond this world in an epic showdown for survival. With other great actors such as Paul Dano and Sam Rockwell, this film surprised me with its stor and fantastic graphics when it came to the aliens, It was a nice action film that took 2 different genres and made exciting at least in my opinion.

I would recommend to anyone looking for something out of the everyday horror or romantic comedy you're forced to see to keep that special someone in your life happy file:///C:/DOCUME~1/Zappho!/LOCALS~1/Temp/msohtml1/01/clip_image002.gif


30 Seconds or Less

The not so smart Dwayne (McBride) intends to open a massage parlor with his partner Travis (Swardson), but he does not have money for the investment. He decides to hire a hit-man to kill his father, The Major, who won a large amount of money in the lottery years ago, but the killer demands US$ 100,000 for the job. Dwayne and Travis kidnap the pizza delivery boy Nick (Eisenberg) and they dress Nick in a vest with a timer and several bombs. Then Dwayne tells Nick that he has ten hours to rob US$ 100,000 from a bank. Once he does, he would give Nick the code to release the vest. Nick summons his best friend Chet (Anzari) to help him in the heist but the scheme does not work the way Dwayne has plotted. To say I didnt laugh out loud at this film is an understatement, with some of my favorite actors such as Danny McBride and Michael Peña in it I enjoyed it that much more.

I think it was a decent movie, nothing I wouldnt recommend to any of my friends who dont share a sense of somewhat idiotic comedy that McBride and a few of the other actors in this film are known for.


Rise of the Planet of the Apes.

This Planet of the Apes prequel centering on genetically engineered chimp Caesar (Andy Serkis), who was created in a San Francisco lab by an ambitious scientist (James Franco), and who uses his powerful intellect to lead an ape uprising against all of humankind. To be honest it wasn't my favorite film but it served its purpouse of not so much a prequel but what I felt was more of a reboot to a new Planet of the Apes saga. If thats the case then this series could turn out to be a big hit or a total disaster based on how well fans of the classic Planet of the Apes handle this new perspective of this film and its possible follow up.

If you're into to new perspectives of classic films this film and perhaps even the new Conan The Barbarian films are right for you.

02-02-2012, 10:32 PM
Rise of the Planet of the Apes was an awesome movie and I’m right beside this guy in suggesting it. Now on to the next portion of our Collision Course Q & A. RomanFlare and Billy McCoy went head to head in an epic encounter. It’s time to see what these two guys have to say about the match.


Zappho: Roman effin Flare. How's it going?

Romes: A little itchy. I think that stripper gave me a rash.

Zappho: Great to hear. Now I have a few questions about your match with EWNCWs Billy McCoy at Collision Course. Ready to get started?

Romes: Hopefully this interview will last longer than he put up a fight.

Zappho: Awesome! So you, when it was guaranteed that JBW was going to war with EWNCW, set your sights pretty much immediately on Billy McCoy. Why is that?

Romes: Well, here's the thing. We don't get along. Whether it was in the indys, at wrestling schools, or pounding away on the keyboard in front of a radiating screen--we just don't get along. So when I had an opportunity to embarrass him in a public setting, I took it.

Zappho: Now you have quite a bit of self confidence and usually before big matches, such as this one, you have no problem of letting your opponent know it. Now you definitely talked your talk for weeks going into Collision Course, something I'll be getting into in a second, but on the night of Collision Course, you were silent. Could you tell me why you decided to go this route?

Romes: Pretty simple, really. When I'm flapping my gums, it is usually only my skin on the line. If I call Ma$$'s mother a whore, the only one with egg on their face if I lose is me. If I lost to Billy, JBW lost. Plus, when am I going to get another shot to depants the man on PPV? For once I took the day of the show to relax and concentrate on the match and my gameplan.

Zappho: Now before Collision Course, you said you were going to go for McCoys knees and during the match, every chance you had to attack the knees, you did. Another thing you said you were going to do was apply a cloverleaf to try and break his knees. This was something else that you did and it was what got you the victory. Now I gotta ask, how did it feel to achieve your goal and why the knees?

Romes: I'm like Babe Ruth--I called my shot and stepped up to the plate. I made a promise to put the man on the shelf and I tried my damnest. There are several reasons: 1) The Cloverleaf is my submission of choice and a lot of the pressure is put on the knees, so they were a clear choice. 2) The knee is one of the easiest limbs to attack. 3) If I broke that knee, everytime he hobbles along the path or people see him wabbling--they're all going to think of me putting him out of commission by blowing out the knee. So the knee was the perfect way to make sure Billy remembered the beat down I donated to him.

Zappho: Finally, is there anything you want to add about the match or your opponent?

Romes: Yeah--one thing. If that's the best EWNCW has to offer, JBW is going to embarrass that company.

Zappho: Roman, thank you for your time. It's been enlightening.

Billy McCoy

Zappho: Thank you for agreeing to talk with me Billy. How have things been?

BMcC: not bad thanks, good to see you again Zappho.

Zappho: Good to see you too bro. Now I have a few questions about your match with RomanFlare at Collision Course. Ready to go?

BMcC: yep les go

Zappho: Well let's get into it then. First of all, where can I get McCoy Crisps?

BMcC: All good retailers, now only 45 Pence/Cents.

Zappho: Thank you for letting me know. I'm going to get some after this interview. Ok, now in the weeks leading up to Collision Course, you were pretty silent on the whole cross fed situation. If you don't mind me asking, what are your thoughts on the war?

BMcC: The war is kinda hard to comment on, some people are taking it and making their names, like Arthur Lansdale for example, I’ll let them shout and scream with pride for their feds. But for me this a lot more personal I have been their when Shuriken walked out! I was there when Sandman attacked Tommy Thunder, I was there when Nightwolf took a golden opportunity threw it in the bin, and spat in our faces. I have said it all, got all my anger out, but now there is one more thing I have to put right that involves Roman Flare

Zappho: Interesting Now I would also like to ask you why you think Roman set his sights on you? Personally I think it's your in ring ability, in which I am a big fan of, but I would like to know what you think.

BMcC: Because of our history! Pure and simple, he is jealous of the shockwaves I have made.

Zappho: Now before we get into the match, you did a promo at Collision Course telling Roman to bring his all and that you were going to do the same. Do you feel that he brought what you asked him to bring?

BMcC: Yea, it was a hell of a match, he brought his a-game but apparently he left his balls in the back because he took the easy way out.

Zappho: Now onto the match, near the end, you had a hold locked on Roman called The Double Bill Thrill. With this move, you nearly won the match but Roman bent the rules and used an underhanded tactic to get out of the hold. How do you feel about this and if he didn't do that, do you feel that you had the match won?

BMcC: I don’t think he was going to withstand my submission for much longer! He was going to tap.

Zappho: Finally, do you have anything else to add about RomanFlare or the match as a whole?

BMcC: so for the second PPV I am going to be involved in a Tag Team Match, with “The Freak” Ryan Wells to take on Avicado and Infernio. But don’t think for one second my mind is away from Roman Flare! I want him again before this War is done, I will have my revenge but as for Avicado and Infernio your going to be in the wrong place, at the wrong time, with the wrong dudes!

Zappho: Thank you for your time Billy and funny thing one of the stage hands brought me a bag of McCoy Crisps. I'm going to enjoy them right now.

02-02-2012, 10:50 PM
Up next is an interview for Artemis Eclipse conducted by Straight Edge Zero...

How is it you got yourself in the wrestling world?

How did I get into the wrestling world? Hmm. Well see the thing is, I'm actually the son of a very famous professional wrestler. I've never told anyone that before and now the whole world will know. It's pretty crazy actually. See, I grew up in this world... it's nothing new to me. I decided that instead of taking my family name, I'd legally change my name. I wanted to start fresh. Hence, the mask. In all honesty, you probably wouldn't recognize me anyway. I'm not someone you would even have cared about in the 90's haha.

Why did you choose the AWF as a place to showcase your skill and talent?

Well, AWF isn't my first home per say. When it came to American Professional Wrestling, I didn't want to choose your typical WWE or TNA route. I definitely could have done that all things considering but, I opted to make my own name. When I started out, I wrestled against the main guys now. We all started out at the same time. Phil Brooks, Bryan Danielson, Scotty Goldman, Nuufolau Seanoa and a few others. They all left the Indy scene and left me behind. I chose to stay and ply my craft some more. I didn't even follow them to ROH full term. Mr. Silkin and I saw things... differently. I saw me building myself, he saw blackness after his face ran into my fist.

What are your goals in the AWF?

Everything. It's 2012 now. I'm done plying, I'm done biding. This will be my year. I've spent so much time learning these people and seeing who they... really are. I know them. Better than they know themselves. I'm the only one in the back sitting there and watching the tapes. Watching all the recordings, sitting front row for every house show. People don't do that anymore. All they care about is how many people are following them on Twitter and if they got some more fans on Facebook. That's good for them, but not me.

My manager tried to get me to do that shit but, NO. I refuse to do it.I already joined JBW because he wanted more money from me. I'm not doing that crap too. Plus, my mouth has gotten me in more trouble than I can even remember. I honestly don't know what I'm doing here. But, I digress. I also will be dominating JBW this year as well. I'm not going to be the top dog there but, in my division I will be. I'm not stupid enough to think that I'm going to rise to meteoric fame in a year there. In AWF though, sure. I've totally got this shit.

How has your time in JBW impacted your career elsewhere?

I'm nowhere even going to lie. I didn't want to go to JBW yet. My manager signed a contract for me, behind my back. That's messed up. I basically started off there against my will and I think it showed. But, the guys backstage are real professionals. The crew and writers, even the wrestlers are class. A lot of these guys are in AWF as well so, I believe that being there and here at the same time isn't damaging. It's helpful. I am however just wanting to chill and relax sometimes. And that's why I guess I can come off as a prick sometimes. I generally am NOT a people person and burning the candle at both ends catches up rather quick. Either way, being in JBW turned out to be a blessing in a weird way.

Some considered to be unique, others weird. What do you consider yourself?

What do I consider myself? Hell man, that's simple. I'm me. Nothing more, nothing less. If someone needs a gimmick or a "thing" to put them over, well then maybe this business isn't for them. I think if you are yourself and can be real, you can go far. Don't be fake, don't backstab and don't let the promoters, bookers, or anyone else tell you who or what you're going to be on any given night. Some companies that are out there look at that stuff with audacity, if they do that, I don't want to be there. I wish others thought that way.

You certainly have a peculiar wardrobe what was the inspiration behind it?

*Looks at himself.* Well, it's me. I don't think it's peculiar at all. Again, it's all about freedom and expression. I do this for that purpose and I also do it because of again, who I am. I think this looks good... and I also think it'll look better when I have some AWF gold to go with it.

What do you believe the future holds for you in the AWF?

All of it. I've stated it earlier and I'm going to do it again just to be clear. 2012 is the year of Artemis. I'm going to win literally every Championship that AWF has to offer. I'm going to be the first ever Grandslam Champion in AWF. This year. Bank on it.

Finally anything you'd like to say to the fans?

Honestly? Not much. Keep coming to the shows. Keep booing me. Keep buying my merch. As long as you're doing what you like, by all means. Not trying to sound like some walking ape in another "Entertainment" company but, you spend your money to come see us. There's no reason for you to conform. I embrace it. All of it.

Now back to the Q and A portion of this issue. Ryusuke “Shuriken” Serra and Arthur Lansdale fought a great match at Collision Course. Let’s see what they have to say about their match.

Arthur Lansdale

Zappho: Thank you for coming to chat with me Arthur. Now first of all, that attack on the gentleman before your match, was that completely necessary?

Lansdale: Necessary? Of course it was necessary, you have to be cruel to be kind. You need to realise that slugs like that are their own worst enemy, and yearn for someone to set them straight. I offer education, salvation and hope to all those afflicted by the disease of stupidity, to those whose lives are filled with filth and debauchery. In short, he needed me to beat him, he needed me to show him the light, and sometimes the most effective way to purge impurities from wretches such as Randy Connor, is through pain and fire.

Zappho: When you had Ryusuke in the Lansdale Lockdown, it looked like the victory was secured for you until Ryusuke suddenly got the strength to get out of the hold. What were you thinking when this happened?

Lansdale: At the time, I was plotting my next move, allowing myself to become complacent through disbelief could have been fatal, I have an entire arsenal of submission holds at my disposal of course. However, through reflection and allowing myself time to absorb the match, I will offer Serra my respect, I underestimated him and it almost proved my downfall.

Zappho: As Ryusuke hit you with the Boma Ya Knee, Mrs. Ravensdale got on the apron and distracted the referee, saving you from defeat. Is this something that she knows to do when it looks like the match is about to end with you being pinned?

Lansdale: This tripe again? I have explained what truly happened, so if I must explain it once more then I shall. The reason I appear to be holding the trunks of my opponent is a simple one, I am a very conservative individual, and through keen foresight I observed Serra's trunks sliding awfully low, towards his posterior. Using my unmatched intellect in order to shield the women and children watching from spying this terrible faux pas, I offered him my aid by pulling his trunks up, this action had no effect on the match, fact.

Zappho: Finally is there anything else you would like to add about the match or your opponent?

Lansdale: As stated, I admit to a new found respect to Ryusuke, although it was clear on the night that Arthur Lansdale was the better man. If Mr Serra would like a rematch, then I will have no issues with allowing him to enroll into another master class of wrestling.

Zapph: Thank you for time Arthur.

02-02-2012, 10:51 PM
Ryusuke “Shuriken” Serra

Zappho: First question, during your entrance, there was a kenji mark on your face that represented hate. Why do you feel this way about Arthur Lansdale?

Serra: It's not just Lansdale. It's all of EWNCW. They disrespected me. Do you know how bad it felt having to lose your students? I was a proud teacher, a proud wrestler, and to see what they did and people expect me to be all good and nice? No way. Then they attack my own persona. Yes I am a hypocrite but I still delivered for the good of the business. They think they are doing good but their arrogance is what fuels my anger.

Zappho: Now Arthur had you in the Lansdale Lockdown, a submission that is much like the Million Dollar Dream, and you seemed to be fading before you made a comeback. Now we all saw the anger and rage in your eyes, but in your promo before the match, you said you were going to keep your darkness at bay. Were you able to trigger that darkness to help you out of a desperate situation, or did it just happen on its own?

Serra:....I don't know....that feeling was more of a second wind but I am not too sure....it felt like....someone else was in control.

Zappho: Near the end of the match, you were able to strike Arthur with your finisher, the Boma Ya Knee, and it seemed the victory was well in your grasp when you went for the pin. It was obviously more than a three count but there was no ref to count because he was being distracted by Mrs. Ravensdale. You noticed this and the anger made you nearly attack her. Now being the honorable man that you are, and I mean no disrespect when I ask, but don't you see actions like that as being beneath you?

Serra: *chuckles* You expect a pissed off wrestler to be nice? She got in the way. I don't discriminate nor I will show mercy to those who stand in my way of revenge. Lansdale, Tommy, "Spaghetti Legs" McCoy can bring an army and that will not stop me. How can I talk about respect if the competition doesn't show it?

Zappho: Now after the distraction from Mrs. Ravensdale, Arthur was able to use underhanded tactics to get the pin fall victory over you. How do you feel about this course of action that he took and do you feel that it Mrs. Ravensdale wasn't there, the outcome would of been different?

Serra: The outcome would have been way different.....WAY different. But....its stuff like that goes in my favor. How you ask? Simple....*lifts the knee* this thing is going to break Lansdale's nose the next time around. The man talks about skill and how great he is but I am not impressed. The man is full of excuses. Note that these guys say that I am on a high horse but they won't even bother to look in the mirror and face the reality and their own contradiction. I have a message for Ravensdale: Get in my way again....I'll see to it that you and your master share a hospital room.

Zappho: Finally, do you have anything to add about the match or your opponent?

Serra: All I have to say is this: I am not a bad guy if you think about it. Just wronged by the people who think I am the bad guy. If this goes on....I won't have any problems being the bad guy to stop arrogance of EWNCW.

Zappho: Thank you for your time Ryusuke.

Now we are onto to the Game Break. HeelTurn is going to tell you about two big games that came out last year and whether or not you should be playing them.

Hello again Jabesters and Jabettes, it is I HeelTurn once again perusing my video game library to give you the only reviews you will ever need. This time I will be taking a look at two completely different games, one is a violent and bloody action game featuring chainsaws and gruff men, the other is a brightly lit whirlwind of speed and cutesy animals. Let us begin.

Game number one: Gears of War 3.
In case you have never heard of this series (where have you been hiding?) GOW is arguably one of the 360's two big franchises, along with Halo, and this is the final part of Epic's well epic series. The concluding chapter to the GOW franchise sees the return of the constantly angry Marcus Fenix, and the rest of his team, Dom, Coletrain and my personal favourite, if only for his name, Damon Baird. The ragtag crew find themselves joining up with newcomers Sam, Jace and another Carmine brother, in the search for Fenix's father who is still alive and has a way to end the war forever (yes we have heard this before but this time its for reals). Cue another game with running, covering and of course chainsawing your way through the locust hordes and the new creatures, sure the main campaign may not add anything new to the series, but if you enjoyed the others, you will love this and want to play through to its conclusion, even if its just to see who lives, who dies, and will this Carmine (the GOW equivalent of South Park's Kenny) suffer the same fate as his brothers. As much fun as the single player is, the games real playtime will come from its multiplayer. Game modes like Horde and Deathmatch make a return, and along with a new game mode called Beast (think of it as Horde mode in reverse where you play as the hordes attempting to kill the COGs). Other than the campaigns and multiplayer, GOW 3 offers a tremendous amount of time consuming challenges and medals for those who are willing, and have the time to play. Theres no doubt that they saved the best till last, if you want a game with great graphics, a storyline with an actual definitive conclusion, plus seemingly endless online multiplayer fun, then Gears of War 3 is a must own. 9/10.

Game number two: Sonic Generations.
Ah Sonic one of my favourite games growing up, even if Tails was an annoying knob. Since the original game was 20 years ago (God that makes me feel old) Sega has done an unoriginal celebration, and has released a "new" game featuring levels from previous instalments. As I have missed out on the majority of Sonic's most recent games, some of this was new to me, and the older levels had a nice feel of nostalgia, and brought back a lot of memories. Due to a rift in time Sonic and his friends find themselves reliving history with a younger Sonic also trapped in time with them. This then leads to some old fashioned running through levels jumping on robots, collecting rings and fighting the bad guys. The first 3 levels are old school Mega Drive levels(each of the nine levels represent a different game), the second set feature the Dreamcast and Gamecube, and the final 3 are a mix of Xbox 360 and Wii levels. Moreover the boss fights are "classic" bosses aswell. Any Sonic fan will most likely delight in this game, as it features references to the vast majority of the games, and features a whole host of brightly coloured talking animals. The main story levels can be knocked off in a couple of hours (each stage has 2 versions, one for old Sonic and one for the modern version) but Sega makes up for this by providing 90 challenges, which involve races, ring collecting and other novelty missions. In addition there are also collectables scattered throughout the levels and ranks for completing the levels quickly and without losing a life. A friend of mine managed to knock off all 1000G in next to no time (that may have been due to the fact he was in Switzerland and inexplicably didnt want to go snowboarding hmmm) so if youre after a game that will take a few hours to get the maximum G from, then this is a good one. Other than that the game isnt anything special, and besides the nostalgia factor it probably wont appeal to anyone who isnt a fan of these sorts of games already. 6/10.

02-02-2012, 10:58 PM
Awesome reviews HeelTurn. I really liked how they ended Gears of War. It was the only way they could end. Back to Q and A. HolyJose and Markus Beerstein had a huge rivalry while Markus was in JBW and they had their grudge match at Collision Course. Let’s see what they have to say about it.


Zappho: So before the match, you came out wearing a replica of the Warfare Television Championship. I have to ask, was this a means to taunt Markus?

HolyJose: Absolutly! Markus and I fought hard for that championship so bringing out a repicla of the belt was sure to light a fire under his ass and bring out the best in him. And I got just that.

Zappho: Did you feel that you had anything to prove in this match?

HolyJose: No. I didn't feel like I needed to prove anything. Markus and I had plenty of matches in the past and I've won the majority of them. If anything Markus had something to prove but as for me no if I was in charge of who'd I face I would have chosen Gillz or SilverCena or Solla someone whom I've never faced before and would like to beat but Markus was something familiar and there is definetly good match chemistry there that no matter what we always put on a great match he was just the better man this time.

Zappho: Markus ended up with the victory after a hard fought match. Has this hurt morale any?

HolyJose: I've always lived my career by the "You win some, you lose some but it's the experience learned that counts" motto and with each loss I take a certain lesson learned to use in the next match. I may be a cynical asshole but a sore loser I'm not. Markus was the better man. He is one of the few men I respect in the industry and let's face it I'm still 5-2 over him. He is defineltly improved and I underestimated him due to my constant wins over him. No morale lost over him just to learn and grow from it.

Zappho: Finally, is there anything you want to add about the match or your opponent?

HolyJose: Markus, you're a hell of a competitor and god dammit we put on one hell of a match. Let's do it again sometime!

Zappho: Thank you for your time bro!

Markus Beerstein

Zappho: Now everybody in the efed world knows about the feud between HolyJose and yourself while you were in JBW and it's also known that feud ended with HolyJose taking the Warfare Television Title off of you. Did this give you extra motivation going in to the match?

Markus: Well at that moment I was the longest regining TV champion in Warfare history, after he won the title from me we had a couple of rematches that let me a little unsatisfised due to the matches ended up in controversial fashion, I'll say it was more motivation to say he was the first opponent to really push to the limit in my hold career but I'm happy with TV title reign I had so wasn't so much about the belt

Zappho: The ironic thing about this match was you and HolyJoses roles were kind of reversed. Over in EWNCW you are a face but while you were in JBW, you were a heel along side your FSA comrades and HolyJose, who is now a heel, was a face during your feud with him. What do you think of this?

Markus: This is a changing business, and well both companies are very different, when I was in JBW I saw FSA as an oportunity to climb the ladder and everyone was in pretty good shape around that time, Jose was debuting by then and formed a face stable with other wrestlers so was almost sure we were going to fight, now EWNCW the fans are really into Markus Beerstein so is a better shot being face, I'm sure he seize his chance as Heel so I supposed that's the reason of his turn

Zappho: Well, you ended up getting the victory after a hard fought match. Does this give you sense of closure from your feud with HolyJose, or was it just another match in your mind?

Markus: Not at all, I don't think we face again in the recent time, but I believe somewhere down the road we will meet in the ring again, besides people are really into our matches so is very likely we fight again

Zappho: Finally, is there anything you would like to add about the match or your opponent?

Markus: As always Its tough to fight with Holyjose but this time I was the better man , knowing him we'll be anxious to kick my butt next time and I'm sure as hell I'll be readyt beat him so badly to sent him crying home so expect another great match in the future , but in the meantime I'm focus in archieve success in EWNCW win more titles and of course win this war against JBW.

Zappho: Thank you Markus. Always a pleasure.

Now it’s time for our JBW Remembered feature with Jman. In this issue, he will be looking back at the formation of JBWs most influential stable…V3.

02-02-2012, 11:03 PM
Unlike most wrestling companies (real or imagined), JBW has managed to have great success with factions. The Five Star Attraction, SuperNova, and The Eye were responsible for giving characters like K-Jammin, The Alpha Dog, The Prophecy, HolyJose, and many more their first real taste of the lime light but no group has been more influential on JBW than Veni Vidi Vici. Instead of looking at the overall impact V3 has had (which is really too large to comprehend) I wanted to tell the story of how the group was founded; a story a lot of you might not know.

The proverbial gears started turning when Leggo began teasing St. Geogre’s debut with a series of riddles. Kash and Sau were, I presume, impressed by the creativity Legs showed even before debuting George and wanted to work with him. After what I’m sure was a fast and furious game of PM ping pong between Kash, Sau, Legs and then Mayhem head writer xStraightxEdgexSaviourx, the decision was made to go ahead with the group. That decision would change the EWN efed game forever.
From a kayfabe perspective, it made total sense for Ma$$dinero and Psycho Siaki to team up. Siaki had just been screwed out of his Mayhem World Heavyweight Championship by Chainsaw, Iron Ape, and the rest of The Eye and Ma$$ was having trouble of his own with the “metallic primate”. Not only did Ma$$ and Siaki have a common enemy but they were also JBW originals. St. George, however, was a different matter altogether.

Seemingly, George was a perfect fit for the group. He was over as a face from the day Legs created him, and part of the character’s backstory was that he tagged with Ma$$ in their England indy circuit days. It’s a perfect fit, right? Wrong. The fact that George and Ma$$ worked together in a past wrestling life was the very reason why The Guv’ner was such an unlikely part of V3.

What do I mean by that? Here’s a backstage segment from Mayhem episode 10 that illustrates my point:

*St George walks off to see iron ape in his office and once he reaches there he barges straight in without announcing himself*

Iron ape: ah St George me old china pla...

St George: don't even try and Speak my Tongue, you Hampton wick. I've been told to come and see you. What the daffy duck is it all about?

Iron ape: well George, I can call you George, can't I?

St George: you call me St George or the Guv'nor!

*St George lights a melvin Bragg*

Iron ape: Erm... Ok... I have a challenge for you tonight. It seems that you have got the attention of chainsaw, and he's not happy with you. He's TOLD me to set up a match with The Apostle’s against you and a tag partner of your choice.

St George: its bit late in the...

Iron ape: not my problem... Go find yourself a partner, or be prepared to, how did chainsaw put it, be crushed! Sorry man, but I can’t afford to get that man pissed at me. Oh wait, how about you and your old friend Mass team up? I’ve been hearing rumblings around the back that you two have a history together, so I figure you guys would make a good team. There you have it, now all your problems are solved.

*St George gives iron ape a stern look, puts his melvin out in his coffee, and storms out.*

By the end of that segment, you could see George wanted nothing to do with Ma$$. On the night V3 formed, it would become clear why.

And here we go…Without further ado…The final segment of Mayhem episode twelve: The formation of Veni Vidi Vici…

We cut to the parking lot now and the crowd pops loudly as we see that MassDinero is just arriving in a Silver Hummer, with SCENA1 on the numberplate. He caught up with our resident interviewer Dave.

Dave: First of all, Mass, where did you get that Hummer, does that belong to who I think it does?

MD: I don't know what you're talking about, Dave, but I did borrow it from a friend.

Dave: When You say borrowed, you really mean stole, don't you?

MD: Thats exactly what I mean Dave, but why have you always got to be so obvious? Chill out Dave, don't get so wound up, Dave... What? Why you looking at me like that? I told you calm the fuck down Dave... See, be calm, like me.

Dave: Mass, you're clearly angry, and by the look of you, you're probably not going to do any harm to anyon...

MD: You're right, Dav... wait a minute, what am I saying, Dave, the world better know, that this guy right here is angrier than ten Angry Samoans right now, and the world better know my path shouldn't be blocked tonight!
But first, Dave, what happened before I got here. Anything worthy of our attention.

Dave: Um, Well, I..

MD: C'mon, out with it Davey Boy.

Dave: Well, it's just, St George said he is sick of your big mouth..

MD: MY What??

Dave: He's sick of your mouth and he wants words with you tonight.

MD: Oh he does, does he, the mug. Well how about right here, right now! Dave, stay here, this shit could get a bit ugly.

Dave: S-S-Sure thing.

*Mass heads to gorrila position, with a face like thunder, while Dave lets out a sigh of relief*
MassDinero makes his way down to the ring, to a stunning ovation, he then walks to the AV guy and grabs a mic then enters the ring. *Mass speaks*

Mass: Oi, Arsehole, out here, now.

*after a ten second pause for added suspense…
St Georges music hits, and the crowd are whipped into a frenzy, and a very pissed off George makes his way to the ring, and the intensity is off the charts. George gets in the ring and he and Mass square up to each other*

MD: Alright, bruv, lets hear it, no, wait, on second thoughts, you can hear what I've got to bloody well say! Y'see people *turns to face the crowd, and takes a step back* I'm a firm believer of giving people what they deserve, and Georgie Boy, what makes you think you deserve to speak to me after the way you have ignored me? After all the years we have known each other, why the bloody cold shoulder?... Before you either tell me, or punch me, let me tell Mass' Masses just what me and you have been through together...

SG: I know where this is going, my china.

MD: Do you? Do you remember Mike? Huh?

*St George lights a Melvin bragg*

SG: Are you zsa zsa gabor you wanna go there Mass?!

MD: Oh, we're going there, son! We're laying it all on the table, right here, right now!... People, me and George weren't always the "lovable characters" you see before you, today. Now, some could say we were downright nasty bastards! *George glares at Mass, but Mass continues* Now, I ain't gonna say what we got up to, I ain't that thick, but suffice to say, it wasn't the sort of behavior of men that you'd want to have around for sunday dinner, with the wife and in-laws, if you know what I mean *winks* Now back then, we ran with our mate, Mike the Blade, and together, the three of us were untouchable! What were we called, George?

SG: *through gritted teeth, blows smoke in Mass' direction* The Three Kings..

MD: Thats right, The Three fucking Kings! Why? because around our area, we were like fucking royalty... We had more money than we knew what to do with, and it's not like we had to pay for anything, cause people were too scared to ask us for anything. No, we were the one's who got paid, laid and our Ferrari's sprayed, we were the one's who took what we wanted and no-one said boo! And why would they? Just being associated with the Kings guaranteed respect, and protection, and we had businesses, and birds, you remember the birds, don't ya Georgie boy? *George's expression, clearly, says that, yes, he remembers* flocking to be at our side. And why wouldn't they, we were the bollocks! We were the flashest Larry's in town! *Mass pauses, before hanging his head in, apparent, shame* But it all went pear shaped.... After a great night on the tiles in the west end, we parted ways, with the plan of meeting up, at the Nags Head the next day to discuss our plans for the week, as in, who to shake down first.... But the next day, at the Nags Head, we waited... And waited... And waited, but Mikey Boy never showed up, did he? We tried to call him, but his line was dead, we tried his home phone, but that was dead too.

SG: Alright, put a sock in that big gang and mob of yours, you Toby! That’s enough!

MD: No, Gee, NO. IT'S. NOT!!! We went to his house in Wimbledon, and it was abandoned, then we went to the warehouse.... You remember the warehouse, don't'cha Gee?

SG: Do we really have to go down this frog and toad? This ain't the lemon and lime or the drum and bass for this pony! Don't be a Hampton about this, Mass! I'm gonna give you a Watford Gap in a minute!

MD: Sorry, mate, but this is happening..... Mass' Masses deserve the truth, and, well, you can just call me Ron Killings, because the truth comes out... Now.... Anyway, people, we went to the warehouse. The same fucking warehouse where all the dinero was, y'know, all that un-laundered kash that we couldn't put in the bank... Yep, thats right, my loyal massive, when we got there, the warehouse was bare... That tosspot had run off with every single fucking penny!... If you're watching Mike, fuck you!! Fuck you for all the beatings that George and myself felt at the hand's, and feet, of debt collectors.... Fuck. You.... What happened next, bruv?

02-02-2012, 11:06 PM
SG: We both walked separate fog and toads, and went our seperate ways, back to our old Dogs nobs, you muppet! And, don't rabbit to me like that, you Bowler Hat! I've ha..

MD: Yep, being the talented guy I am, I went back into the music industry, and being the lump you are, you opened your own bouncer agency, and worked at the Hippodrome. As chance would have it, I got booked to do a gig there, and we hooked up again... It was like old times, only this time, people, instead of our mutual interests being, um, uh, the, uh, opposite of legal. This tim...

SG: THIS LEMON & LIME!! *Mass flinches back* This Lemon & lime we became wrestlers! You see my chinas, me and Mass' history is deeper than you cocoa drink. Cadbury snack in the day, Me and this Armoured Tanker used to be the East and West tag team in the 1PW! We were untouchable again, my Church Steeple! Hey Mass, remember when we won the 1PW tag team Championship at "A new dawn"?, What a night that was my china. Remember the celebrations?, the partying?, and the women?!

*Mass sheds a small grin and nods in agreement*

MD: Yeah, it was great... Until you turned on me, you poomps!

SG: Ha, and you deserved it you big Jack & Danny! If I'm right I beat the turtle heads out of you in a Space Cruiser Bobs and Weaves 1PW Chicken Scratch! Badly, I might add... HaHaHa...

MD: And then I came here!! To the best wrestling federation on earth *crowd pops* and me and you were done! No more! Finito! But, then you came here too... And haven't said word one to me from day dot of your arrival! Now your here laughing in my face, taking me for a mug.... So... Whats it to be, BRUVA!

*Mass squares up, once again, and George responds in kind... The crowd simultaneously gasps and pops... But from out of nowhere…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6db6SIlSP2g&feature=player_embedded (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6db6SIlSP2g&feature=player_embedded)
.... Siaki makes his way and has that crazy look in his eye that he's had all night long... As soon as he enters the ring... His demeanor completely changes, and once again has a cool and calm collectiveness about himself.... He walks towards both men... And sides with... St George!*

MD: What the cuck is this all about, bruv?!? You're with Georgie boy after all I've said in fair warning.. Is this another cucking set up?? You wanna have a go like the rest of Bab's lackies??

Siaki: If its a go you want, a go you can get, but this is not why I'm here my friend.. And I truly mean my friend.. You see, the three of us are here together because of our friendship and commonality.. Don't you get it Mass, it was ME who brought St George to JBW *crowd POPS*, and I brought him for a reason... (suddenly this familiar music begins to play in the background, starting off softly and then growing louder and louder: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-YAVg...layer_embedded (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-YAVg-_lPCE&feature=player_embedded)) I always knew about these politics brewing backstage.. I could smell it coming even before the Ape took power, and I knew your former tag team partner was a changed man, and he would be the perfect choice to help US in facing the storm, no, hurricane that has been brewing in the background... You've been screwed week in and week out, and you see me here, no longer champion, as these powers have turned the tables on me, in a bad way.. And I want you to know that this battle you're fighting, you are not alone my brotha.. Me and George here, we've prepared for this time to come and we know you are the missing piece to our puzzle.. We are the Veni Vidi Vici, V3 for short so two members wouldn’t make sense.. We always had this spot open for you, we just couldn't let it be known until the time is right.. And guess what?? It’s that time my friend.. We came, we saw, and we will conquer the ones that have turned the JBW into the corrupted hellhole it is now.. What we stand for is what it truly means to be in the JBW, the honor, the heart, and the ethic of earning our place.. Now the question that remains is will you fight this fight alone or will you come amongst your friends and take this devil down together??

*Siaki hands mic to St George*

SG: We have that chemistry, Julius, and our manhole cover, Siaki, has proved to me and the great JBW public that he is singing from the same hymn sheet. He proved this last week when he answered my call against Chainsaw's men, when nobody else gave a pony. Come join us my china, come join us and we can make history! So.. What the cluck do you think, my friend from the Ships Mast.

MD: I-I-I-I.... I CUCKING LOVE IT!!!! You sneaky sons of bitches!!!! I-I'm in!! I'M IN!!! I-I'm shocked...

*Shaking his head in joyful disbelief he drops the mic, for the first time in his life, Mass is speechless*

PS: Ape, the JBW conspiracy has been revealed for all to see.. The world now knows what once was in the dark has now been brought into the light.. As you guys plotted and planned your political takeover, our retaliation was also premeditated and forewarned, it fell upon deaf ears as your actions still went on and now the seeds of war have been planted.. Our final piece to the puzzle has come together and the picture is clear.. The Trinity is now complete.. We are the Three Warriors, the Three Wisemen, the Three Saviors of the JBW, Veni Vidi Vici, Three words which at the end of the day will have you saying We Came, We Saw, We Conquered..”
There is nothing more to say…JBW

Some people in our little world of e-wrestling expect things to be handed to them…opportunities to be given to them. The guys in V3 knew better. They knew the only way you could get those opportunities was to work for them. From the masterpiece you just read to all the great stuff they've put out since, that's exactly what Kash, Sau and Legs have always done.

02-02-2012, 11:07 PM
Awesome article Mr. Jman. I can’t imagine how long he had to dig through the main thread to get all of that. Big props are most deservingly going to Jman on that one. Now on to the end of the Q and A and for this, I chatted with Tommy Thunder…Head of EWNCW. We couldn't get an interview with Sandman because...well he's Sandman and I am scared as hell of him. Tommy faced Sandman at Collision Course in a match that was surrounded by controversy. Let’s see what he has to say.

Zappho: Thanks again Tommy for taking time out of what I have to imagine is your busy schedule. So this all began, the war, your match at Collision Course, because at Horrorcore Icons, you came out and interrupted Sandmans match. I got to ask...why did you do it?

TT: Why not? It's what the fans wanted. They've been ranting and raving about how cool and amazing it would be to see the top 2 companies take on each other in the ring, so I took it upon myself to make it happen. I then went about deciding how. I saw that Horrorcore Icons was coming up, and I decided to make an impact there. The match involving Sandman was the perfect place to get involved, knowing that JBW would strike back. Screwing over one of the top dogs meant that JBW had no other option but to strike back, and strike back they did. Follow up on the events spawning from that one night at Alcatraz, and we arrive at 'EWNCW vs JBW: Battle Lines'.

Zappho: Usually when facing Sandman, people are afraid and seeing what he has done, that goes without saying, but you showed confidence and you showed that you weren't afraid. Does that kind of confidence just come naturally?

TT: Yes. I'm amongst the best in this business. I've been doing it since it started up, and I'm still going strong, showing no signs of stopping. I've worked hard to get where I am, and I'm nowhere near done getting to the top yet. But being one of the guys that has been doing this so long makes me confident. I had nothing to fear getting into the ring with Sandman. He's a tough son of a bitch, I'll give him that, but I went in there knowing that it was anybody's guess as to who would come out victorious.

Zappho: At the end of the night, you ended up coming up short in the match and this match was the tie breaker. How do you feel knowing that you are kind of the reason EWNCW is now zero to one with JBW and how is morale in EWNCWs locker room because of this?

TT: Naturally I'm disappointed in not getting the pinfall and winning the ppv for our side. It was a tough match and a close call in the end. Either one of us could have won that match. As for the morale, there's no way that we're disheartened. There's still 2 more ppv's to go here, and we can and will win those 2 ppv's. That's the message that we've been sending round the locker-room. it's strike one of 3. There's still 2 to go, and there's no stopping us from winning both.

Zappho: Finally, is there anything you want to add about the match or your opponent?

TT: Sandman gave me a great match, and although I hate JBW's guts, it was an honor to share a ring with the man. I'd heard he was tough, and now I know that for a fact. It was a fantastic match, and one that was worthy of being a main event. Will we ever tangle again? Who knows. Never say never is always my motto. 'Collision Course' as a whole was a fantastic event, I can't wait now for part 2 of 'Battle Lines'; the hardcore installment in this series 'An Ode to Horrorcore'.

Zappho: Thank you for your time Tommy.

Now on to our final segment for out third issue of JBW Magazine. Jman actually decided he wanted to interview…me. I hope this sheds some light into the mystery that is…Zapphoman.

Jman: Zapster! You ready for this thing man?

Zapph: Let’s do it Jman.

Jman: I know you’re a part of creative now but before we get to your duties there, I want to focus on how you got into efedding and, more specifically, The Alpha Dog. Just tell us the story of how you created Alp’. Also, Holy wants to know why you chose JBW?

Zapph: To be honest, Gabriel Xander is the character I created to use in games like Smackdown and Smackdown vs Raw. The Alpha Dog was just kind of the gimmick I gave him to make him interesting, because without The Alpha Dog , Gabriel would just be another bland wrestler. Creativity and imagination is very important in the efed world as well as personality.

What Gabriel “The Alpha Dog” Xander reflects however, is the ultimate combination of everything I love about Professional Wrestling. Adrenaline, speed, technical and submission ability, grappling, ego, passion, and haha mind defects are all covered with The Alpha Dog.

To answer HJs question, at first I was going to join EWNCW but I submitted my application a little before Matt Elder started having his family problems and Matt Elder was the only one who knew about The Alpha Dog so I decided to give JBW a closer look. Let me just say, I’m very happy I took that closer look. The characters here are awesome and diverse and the writers are awesome and creative, everything you want in a good efed.

Jman: The first major angle The Alpha Dog got involved in was the angle everybody on WARfare was involved in at one time or another, FSA vs. Supernova. Who did you enjoy working with in that circle of guys, and who wasn’t as pleasant?

Zapph: Well I didn’t really get to work with that many people in that storyline. It was mainly with Jhorton, HJ, and TDA that I worked with and to me, they all are a blast to work with.

Jman: All that FSA-SuperNova mumbo jumbo led to Zeus turning face and a fantastic Zeus-Alpha feud leading to RotT. Looking back now, do you like the way that feud ended? Zeus loses but winds up in the main event scene and Alpha gives Zeus his first loss but doesn’t advance up the ladder? From an outside perspective, it made no sense.

Zapph: I still consider that feud to be up there…kind of close to K-Jam and Ma$$ and I actually enjoyed the ending of it. It had a major impact on JBW making both competitors established names.

As far as what happened after it ended, well it was a crazy time. We had a change of management come in and Kash wanted to change things up. He came to me with an idea and I agreed to it.

Jman: Alright, I wanna get to the speed shoot portion of this thing earlier than usual…You ready?

Zapph: Let me just pull out my six shooter.

Jman: Let’s start with some of your other characters…Fernandez Romero/ Black Tear

Zapph: The technical and submission ability of Alberto Del Rio mixed with the hardcore style of Mick Foley. He’s a very unusual mix that isn’t seen that often if any that I think could work pretty well. I just need to figure out his promo style and this character could really fly.

Jman: The Nasty Crew

Zapph: Rough and tough sons of bitches who don’t care who they face. I picked these gents up off of Kash. His mind set for them was Sons of Anarchy meets The Dudley Boys and I couldn’t agree with him more. I can’t wait for them to make some major waves in the Tag Division.

Jman: Zap Alderman

Zapph: Zap is a man who will do anything to make sure whatever company he’s involved in reaches the maximum level of success. He’s smart and doesn’t have any problem using underhanded tactics to get what he wants and what he wants right now is for JBW to succeed.

Jman: The Resistance

Zapph: (sigh) The Resistance…this group could have been the face version of D-Generation X but due to my carelessness, it wasn’t able to reach the heights that I wanted it to. It was great to work with Rehmix, 68, and Black and the blame falls nowhere near them. I should have put more attention to it.

Jman: The Devils Rejects

Zapph: Quite possibly the most powerful force of heels since The Ministry. These guys could not be stopped.

Jman: HolyJose the poster and HolyJose and Azreal the efed characters

Zapph: One of my main homies. I feel that HJ and I have a lot of chemistry. He’s easy to write promos with and just overall an awesome guy.

HolyJose…definitely one of Warfares top talent. All I have to say…HolyJose and Markus Beerstein feud. That sums up why I feel that way. Both Pumpkinhead and HJ made that feud one to remember. Azreal…to be honest, I can’t say the same.

02-02-2012, 11:10 PM
Jman: HWA, Broc, and Sully

Zapph: HWA is an awesome fed to start your efed career in. It’s pretty much become the ECW of EWN efedding.

Broc is great at getting his shows out on time and he is the reason HWA is where it’s at today.

I’ve only had a little bit of interaction with Sully so I can’t really read him to well but Broc and him make a good team.

Jman: Guy from another brand you’d most want Alpha to feud with

Zapph: RomanFlare… I just have to come out and say this. Roman vs Alpha at Horrorcore Icons was a joke. I’m not saying I have a problem with Alpha jobbing to Roman but to me, it would have been a lot better if Alpha looked a little stronger. But who knows, maybe that little problem will be changed someday.

Jman: Guy from EWNCW you’d most want Alpha to feud with

Zapph: Torphy/Arthur Lansdale. The Alpha Dog vs Arthur would be an awesome clash of different styles and different personalities.

Jman: Tommy Thunder

Zapph: Tommy Thunder…you can never say the man has a lack of confidence, in which is a good thing to have in efedding. I do have to say, he took charge of EWNCW pretty well.

Jman: TDA

Zapph: The Alpha Dog vs The Devils Advocate…A match that needs to happen soon. TDA does awesome promos and I really hope he sticks around longer.

Jman: Rated_R(ob)KO the poster and Redrum the efed character

Zapph: R(ob) is the man…plain and simple. The videos that he has created for JBW are epic and he really made Showdown his own.

RedRum and The Alpha Dogs egos are just way too big to not instantly clash. Eventually these two are going to have it out and god have mercy on anyone who gets in their way.

Jman: Speaking of Rob, I have a shitload of questions from him that I’ll ask you in a minute. First though, I want to ask a few more questions of my own.

Zapph: Sounds good.

Jman: First off, what is your role on the creative team?

Zapph: I’m basically an assistant writer. Writing matches and such but I’m more than happy to help out however I can.

Jman: When Kash took his vacation a while back, you were in charge of WARfare for two weeks. What was that like and how much creative freedom did Kash give you?

Zapph: I rather enjoyed receiving the chance to write the shows. The main thing I was worried about was making sure that everybody was happy with the show. I felt they came out well.

Kash did leave some direction for the two weeks following his departure for his much deserved vacation. There were a few things that I had the freedom to choose, but overall the two weeks were taken care of before hand.

Jman: Alright, let’s get to Rob’s questions.

Zapph: Bring it on!

Jman Remember folks, the next 9 questions were all sent in by Rated_R(ob)KO. Alright, here goes: "Is working on JBW Creative a lot harder than you expected it to be?"

Zapph: A little… JBW is my first efed, so I was a little green when I started up on creative and JBW has one of the biggest rosters in all the feds but other than that, I feel that it’s matched my expectations.

Jman (from Rob): "Who has been the easiest person to work with since getting on creative?"

Zapph: In JBW…everybody is great to work with and that’s not me avoiding the question, that is just straight up fact.

Jman (from Rob): "Where do you see the JBW/EWNCW war going? Are you excited for it?"

Zapph: I see JBW completely dominating EWNCW in every category. Writing, character,….everything and yeah, I’m very excited for it.

Jman (from Rob): "Do you see yourself staying with JBW for at least a year on creative?"

Zapph: I will stay as long as they want me to. I love writing and JBW has helped in leaps and bounds when it comes to my confidence in it.

Jman (from Rob): "Which "Brand" is your favorite?"

Zapph: Since I’ve got the most experience on Warfare, I would have to say that’s my favorite brand. Nothing against Mayhem and Showdown, I’m just more familiar with Warfare.

Jman (from Rob): "Who are your TOP 5 e-fed characters, and why?"

Zapph: Number five would have to be RomanFlare. Awesome promo skill with an awesome heel persona. Nothing can affect this man.

Number four…RedRum Not a persona that is seen very often in professional wrestling…for obvious reasons but extremely entertaining none the less.

Number three…K-Jammin. Only RomanFlare matches this mans heel ability. His promos are always a joy to read.

Number two…HolyJose. Awesome character. Enjoy doing promos with this man.

Number one…Ma$$Dinero. Do I really have to explain?

Jman (from Rob): "Who is your least favorite JBW guy?"

Zapph: Chainsaw… I have never been able to wrap my head around this character. He’s a gimp with a Kane with a complex. Weird.

Jman (from Rob): "What do you think of STATE OF THE 'E?"

Zapph: LOVE IT!!! I enjoy hearing what Rob and Tom have to say about what’s happening in the WWE!

Jman (from Rob): "Do you like Taco Bell better than Burger King?"

Zapph: Yes…I like Taco Bell a crap load better than Burger King. Reason why? Simple…choices. When you go to Burger King, you’re getting a burger. You can get chicken nuggets but let’s be honest, who wants to eat those. Taco Bell, you can get Grilled Stuft Burritos, Tacos, Taco Salads, and more that I can even think of right now.

Jman: Big thanks to Rob for sending those along. Over the last few weeks on WARfare and at ETU, The Alpha Dog has been showing signs of the personal issues that he struggled with early on. Is that something we’ll continue to watch play out?

Zapph: All I can say on that is keep reading. The Alpha Dogs hasn’t even hit his prime yet.

Jman: Before we go, I know what happens in Miami has to stay in Miami but can you tell us anything on the whereabouts of Straights?

Zapph: To be honest, I really don’t know what happened to Straights. Kash just told me one day that he was out and that was that. I hope he’s doing ok though.

Jman: One more question before we go. What are your feelings on JBW’s future? Not just the EWNCW thing, but in general?

Zapph: I think we are going to show are dominance. The efedding world will soon see why JBW is the best.

Jman: Alright my friend, that’s it from me. Anything else you wanna get off your chest?

Zapph: Keep watching JBW. JBW is the best for a reason and nothing…NOTHING else comes close.

Well that is it for this issue. Thank you for reading and once again, sorry for taking forever getting it posted. I do have one announcement to make. This will be the last issue of JBW Magazine that I will be posting. I am stepping down as Editor and Chief of JBW Magazine. I really feel that I have dropped the ball on this and I think it deserves better and I feel that that the new Editor and Chief will be perfect for the job. So it is my pleasure and honor to announce that the new Editor and Chief of JBW Magazine will be JMan. I will continue to write for the magazine of course, just not at the helm anymore.

Once again, thank you for reading JBW MAGAZINE!!!

Special thanks go out to everybody who participated in the Q & A section of the magazine.

Straight Edge Zero

Writer and Editor and Chief
Zapphoman...signing off...